sun-undone

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Young Orpheus

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the you-shaped hole in me

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A completely normal and entirely human country boy

(Slight detour because I just read The Summer Hikaru Died finally)

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i miss you everyday

[ID: Art of Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang in their bedroom. Cheng Xiaoshi is sleeping in the bottom bunk, while Lu Guang is sitting on the floor, arm on the bed with his head resting on it. He’s loosely holding onto Cheng Xiaoshi’s wrist as he watches him sleep. There’s a close-up of Lu Guang’s half-hidden face and another of their hands, where Lu Guang’s finger is on Cheng Xiaoshi’s pulse point. END ID]

[sun-undone]

what strikes me about the summer hikaru died (besides the layered metaphors for queerness and grief) is that the horror of the show doesn’t end at the literal monsters and spirits lurking in the mountain—the horror is everywhere and all the more potent when the situation is something mundane. the scene in the grocery store with the lady is one of the most unsettling bits so far, and this is a show where a character’s arm goes through his dead best friend’s body now possessed by a monster trying to be human and where a woman dies by choking on her own hand... like, the bar is high and yet, one gossiping lady brings a sense of unease and sheer discomfort for yoshiki that rivals his worst nightmares. the horror of being intruded upon, being talked about, being known by everyone in your small town—it can feel so much worse than other, more in-your-face problems. for a teen boy grappling with intense grief, longing, regrets, internalised homophobia (or atleast, repression of his sexuality), the idea of being perceived and judged is shown as a downright overstimulating experience. and i think, that says alot.

[sun-undone]

demolition lovers

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tshd is so blatantly about being a repressed gay kid to me. even two episodes in it feels really strongly like hikaru being Different (TM) is like, obviously diegetic, it’s obviously actually happening, but it’s such a strong metaphor for yoshiki realizing his feelings in a deeply homophobic society and having to come to grips with how this will change his whole life forever. people constantly warn him to stay away from hikaru, hikaru is really possessive, there’s the whole “you won’t tell anyone” thing going on, it’s primarily older townsfolk who are suspicious of hikaru… the whole nine yards.

i think, if you were to take the supernatural elements out, you could easily see this as the story of a boy who realized his feelings for another boy, and because of internalized homophobia, he starts to view that boy as something monstrous. but because it’s something monstrous about himself, he draws in closer to hikaru anyway.

and i’m sure this is a popular interpretation i’m guessing…? but again i’m only two episodes in to the anime rn (as has been released thus far) and i’ve heard here and there from anitubers and such that the manga gets really intense so. we shall see if my thoughts change!

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"YANG."

Interdependent. Interwoven. Eternal.

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"YIN."

More TSHD fanart!! Currently dealing with artblock rn ☹️ but this show makes me really hyped. "Yang" is coming soon ;)

[sun-undone]

Yoshiki calling 'Hikaru' creep in the context of how conservative their village is is not an accident by the way. And 'Hikaru''s meltdown starting because of that word is not accident either even as he doesn't understand the social conventions the word 'creep' being the one that sets him off is so poignant.

chewing on glass eating gravel thank you Mokumokuren I say every waking day

[sun-undone]

I know this isn't the authorial intent of Summer Hikaru Died, but this is just one of the ways I've interpreted it and related to it

Through the lens of someone finally being unchained from depression, but not through Yoshiki. Through Hikaru

The way 'Hikaru' experiences the world for the first time, even with having memories of a lifetime of living. That's something I relate to heavily after having been able to stabilize my mental health more, getting into therapy, getting a good support system. It feels like you're finally experiencing the world you always knew about. And there's a distinct experience of feeling alone when you've struggled with depression your whole life, that when you're not alone anymore, everything else starts to slip into place. But there's still that fear, what if they leave. And then I'm alone again. But you push, and you keep living, really living.

You know what something tastes like, but then you taste it again. And this time, it feels real. This time, it gives you a surge of joy that looks out of place to anyone else. You watch that movie you've seen half a dozen times, and this time you do cry. You feel everything so strongly, and it feels like living. And you think to yourself, "this is what life is like for other people. This is what living is. Life is good." Hearing a song that you've heard a thousand times but now, it's different. You really hear the words now.

Obviously that history of just floating through life doesn't go away. The depression doesn't just go away, that darkness inside of you, that monster. Feeling like a robot, numb and going through the motions just to stay alive, questioning if you want to. But you also learn to accept it, because life is worth living regardless.

I'm excited to see how the rest of the anime goes but, that was something that stuck out to me.

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I'm so normal about them

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pride month is never over pt. 3 i guess

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Monster(s)

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"i'm fighting demons" and the demons are gay thoughts about the eldritch entity that's inhabiting the body of your deceased best friend

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the summer hikaru died is officially still fantastic 3 episodes in and yes i will be celebrating after every good episode cause i’ve been burned before VERY RECENTLY okay (tlou i’m shooting daggers at you)

the nature symbolism continues to be absolutely incredible, and it feels like every episode has its own visual thesis about the current mental states of yoshiki and “hikaru” and their relationship in general: first with the moth, then with the cicada, and now with the sunflowers.

in episode 1, when “hikaru” first reveals himself, we see a moth frantically flying around a light in the convenience store until it gets too close, burns itself, and falls. and i think it’s more obvious to see yoshiki as the moth, especially in this scene, cause it’s when he first decides to stick around “hikaru” despite knowing he’s not the real hikaru he’s known and loved all this life. he’s the moth flying around this artificial light, and he will eventually get burned by staying too close. but i think we could also see “hikaru” as the moth clinging to yoshiki’s light as well!! he’s literally begging yoshiki to let him stay by his side and clutching onto him as he does it, and THAT’S when we see the moth. in episode 2, we see that “hikaru” sees yoshiki’s soul as this beautiful flame, so i do think theres textual evidence for him being the moth, too.

and then there’s the molting cicada in episode 2, which is definitely more about yoshiki desperately trying to push away the reality of his situation and stuff “hikaru” back into the shell of hikaru as if everything’s normal.

but once he’s done that and decided to keep that cicada closed for as long as possible, episode 3 brings back this metaphor of living things straining towards the light, this time with the sunflowers. yoshiki is turning towards “hikaru” like he USED to turn towards hikaru: for comfort, for safety, for understanding, for LIGHT, which is literally what hikaru means. hikaru was such a source of light in yoshiki’s drab existence in this town, and now that he’s gone, he’s still craning towards that light, but it’s not the same light anymore. and so he withers, just like the sunflowers do. but once again, i think theres textual evidence for “hikaru” being represented by the sunflowers, too. ESPECIALLY with his arc in this episode as he’s desperately trying to stay close to yoshiki despite him pulling away, and when he literally explodes in the anguish of not understanding his feelings and not knowing how to get yoshiki to understand them either. he’s angling himself towards yoshiki’s light (his soul), too, and that has consequences for both himself and yoshiki

there’s probably a lot more to say here but i literally JUST woke up, saw ONE post about this, and got possessed by the brain rot demon i guess

moral of the story is that the summer hikaru died is fucking BRILLIANT with its storytelling, and i’m so excited to keep watching and see what they come up with next

[sun-undone]

I love chapter 31 so much I had to post something related to hrkg so I proceeded to dig thru my gallery and found this old 2024 art I made ‼️