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sunflowerchaix · 7 years

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Come What May

March 4th

The bell above the glass door chimed as I rushed into the cold lobby of the Holiday gas station. The Seattle air was crisp, which isn’t that shocking to the locals who barely ever see the sun. To them, it is a myth, hidden behind the clouds of rain that they so strongly believe in and hold onto that hope.

I have lost all hope, every last drop of it. It became lost like a raindrop sliding down a bus window; crashing into a puddle that had gathered on the edge. This particular bus was taking me away from the one that I love; the one that I left behind only because I was scared and I needed to escape.

Inside the gas station there were four long rows filled with crap that was just waiting to be bought and taken out of this depressing hell whole. Only to be met with an untimely and quite disappointing fate. Kind of like the situation that I have put myself in.

I flip my long, once blonde and clean, hair out of my face. Before I left on my journey to find myself, I colored my hair to a vibrant blue, but now it’s a sad grey. I used to be bigger than I am now, but not eating properly for three months will make all that weight fall off. I am not the same pretty girl I once knew.

You see, growing up my dream was to move to Seattle and start publishing my novels. I thought I would have what it takes to become a successful writer, but I didn’t. When I arrived, I was so full of optimism and hope, but it soon came crashing down like that raindrop. There was no place for me to stay and I only had so much money that I couldn’t stay in a hotel for much longer. I quickly ran out of money.

You may be asking why I didn’t just call my parents and ask for help, but it’s not that simple. When I was seventeen years old I was kicked out of their house. Typical, runaway teen has been on her own because she didn’t follow mommy and daddy’s rules, right?

Wrong, oh is that so very wrong.

Instead my relationship and trust was ripped away from my parents all because of my little sister, who I do love with all my heart but I just wish that she would make better choices for herself.

Annabeth is the baby of the family, and after her birth she quite quickly became the favorite. She is the angel in my parents’ eyes; she can literally do no wrong! But she is a manipulative bitch that got my brother thrown in jail and me living on the streets at the tender age of seventeen years old.

Our brother caught her smoking pot in her bed room and he was pissed. He was livid because he knew that precious little Annie was going to get away with it. But he decided to try and tell our parents, but before he could Annabeth switched the story around causing my dad’s vain on his forehead to pop with anger. My dad turned my brother in for possession of marijuana and considering my dad is a pretty big deal in my home town; the police booked him with out any evidence against him.

Corruption at its finest.

Annabeth ruined our brother’s life forever because she couldn’t stand the idea of having to deal with the consequences of her actions. And he wasn’t gone that long before she decided that she wanted to get rid of me as well. To put me in danger as a minor just so she could be the only child or whatever her motive was.

It was snowing outside and I had just gotten home from spending time with my then best friend, Chandler. My dad was waiting in the piano room, arms folded and the vain popping out so far that I was afraid that it was going to burst and spill all over the white carpet. Confused, I sat down on the hideous floral couch and looked up at him.

“What’s this?” He snapped and he held a wrapper in my face. “Why did your poor sister have to find this in her room?”

I tried to take a look, but he was shoving the wrapper so far in my face that I couldn’t focus on it. “I don’t know, let me look.”

His face turned beet red. “You fucking liar, you know exactly what it is.”

“I really don’t dad, I literally cannot see it.” I replied honestly, since he was known for enjoying honesty even though he never believed it when it was voiced.

Then his olive toned hand met my light pale cheek. “How can you be so incompetent that you don’t know what this is? It’s a condom wrapper!”

My eyes met Annabeth, who was smirking and she opened her mouth and said; “I also caught her using it with another girl.”

My heart stopped and my mouth slammed to the white carpeted floor. Our father was now fuming at this new information; him being homophobic he was not having it. I knew then that this would be my last time in the house that I grew up in. The house that I was brought home from the hospital after I was born, the house that was just five minutes from Chandler’s and ten minutes from school.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” His voice shook the paint on the walls.

I was dumbfounded. “You cant even use a condom with a woman, they don’t have the parts for it. But I am obviously not welcomed here anymore so I will go pack my suitcase and leave.”

Being so close to graduation and my birthday was coming up in a couple of weeks, it didn’t matter that I was leaving the house at such a young age. The only thing I feared was where I would sleep that night, because it was the worst snowfall Utah had seen in a long time. Roads were closed and the snow bed was up to my knees.

I immediately went over to Chandler’s parents’ house, who so graciously took me in as their own that night. They wanted to call and report what happened as child endangerment, which my father could have been charged with that but I didn’t see the point. Exhausted, I fell asleep in Chandler’s arms that night and that was the start of our relationship.

A month after graduation, Chandler and I found our own apartment that was within walking distance of the community college. We both had plans to go there since it was cheaper and all I really wanted to do was take writing classes to better my chances at making it big. But without any extra help for income, school became expensive and after about a year of living together, I left him.

I took what money I had in my bank account and in my pocket and just left. Only leaving a note behind and a few things that I couldn’t take with me; I broke his heart. He didn’t deserve that in the slightest, I just up and left him and here I am three months later living on the streets just dying to go back to him.

I am completely out of money; the only thing I have in my pocket right now is fifteen dollars and an unopened mint I was saving for dinner. Currently I am staying at a homeless shelter until I can get back on my feet. But it’s been a month and nothing is changing.

Despite not eating or eating very little, my waist has started to expand, so that’s why I am here at the Holiday gas station. Staring at the end of the third aisle at a product that was placed right next to a pack of condoms and a pack of Dramamine; I already knew what this test would tell me.

It takes a moron not to notice.

I grab the box of pregnancy tests and a large bottle of water and head for the bathroom. Once in, I lock the door and I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. My face has hollowed out due to not eating and my green eyes have turned dull. I used to consider myself beautiful, but after these few months I stopped believing that.

Taking a deep breath, I rip open the purple box of tests and chug the large bottle of water. Soon enough, I have to pee like a race horse and so I stick the test down there. I wince as I get a little bit of my urine on my hand and bring the test out of the toilet area so I can see it.

I stare at it for what feels like forever, but nothing changes with it so I take another one just to be sure and then I wash my hands. After all that, I look down at the tests and there it is, the only thing positive I have seen in these two years of being on my own.

“Fuck.” I whisper under my breath.

I was planning on just stealing the tests and the water bottle, but I know the old woman at the counter so I object to that plan. The bathroom door slams behind me and I march up to the front counter, hoping Gladys doesn’t ask too many questions.

Gladys was the first friendly face I met when I got here to Seattle. I am pretty sure she knows that I have no home, but I also haven’t really opened up to her for obvious reasons. But she always makes sure to give me a water bottle and sometimes a turkey sandwich.

“Hey baby girl,” She says with a smile. “What brings you in today?”

I put the opened box of tests and the empty water bottle on the counter. She glances at the box but nothing else, she doesn’t even give me a judgmental look.

“Can I ask what the test says?”

I sigh. “It’s positive, congratulations to me right?”

She smiles and genuinely looks excited for me; “A little bun to brighten your life up.”

“I don’t know about that one Gladys, someone in my situation shouldn’t really be able to bring up a child.” I shrug. “I have a lot to think about, you know?”

She nodded. “I will stand next to you in support in whatever you choose baby girl, you know that. Are you going to tell the daddy?”

The thought of talking to Chandler on the phone causes my gut to fall through my butt. “You know, im not even sure I am even going to go through with the pregnancy.”

Gladys shrugs; “Well, whatever you choose go PP. They helped me with my first pregnancy and the first appointment should be free.”

Ignoring her I sigh and say; “So what’s the damage?”

Gladys smiles; “it is on me this time, but please go grab another large water bottle and one of those sandwiches. Keeping the baby or not, you still need to take care of yourself.”

I do as I am told and leave the gas station.

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#chapter one #come what may #CWM #might change title later #dunno yet

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