sunmoved

[sunmoved]

days such as these empowers him to forget that his mom was dying, that she wouldn't behold him get married, that she wouldn't be there to welcome his first child ( or fur child, whichever comes first ) into the magical world that she's brought their family into. that idealistic safety net that cultivates his hope... he finds refuge in it, rather frequently if he's being sincere. susannah and laurel are the glue that holds their family together, that harnesses them to cousins beach, and he doesn't allow himself to dwell on what that could look like when she's no longer here. he doesn't wonder if laurel will retreat into herself or keep them all banded together, he doesn't chew over the slim possibility of them all going separate ways, he doesn't because he can't. beck's sunshine boy exclusively desires to see what's in front of him right now, and that's his fucking awesome mom, smiling softly and constricting his airways with a strength she hasn't in weeks.

he embraces her back but not as tenaciously as she'd held him, he believes that maybe @legacey needed that hug more than he did, namely from her youngest. he'll give her one hundred hugs every god-given day if it implied she'd grow stronger, if it signified she'd get better. she won't though, jeremiah, there's no recovering from this. there's no turning corners like they'd all so urgently awaited months prior, there's no concluding miracle. the reality is real, raw, and cruel beyond compare, but if he doesn't allow himself to see it the way that he had the night he'd uncovered that her cancer returned, maybe he wouldn't feel it. he'll keep it tucked away from the light of day, in the shadows where the sun can't reach. plucking the charger from her generous hand, the young man beelines the couch to plug it into the nearest outlet and picks an suitable tune in the same motion. sweet melodies gradually waft through the room and he pivots on the heel of his foot, arms outstretched to her. ❛ soo, what do we think? ❜ he steps in close and a hand snakes around her frame to settle at the center of her back, the other slipping into her hand, palm to palm. ❛ here's your dance, mom. on a scale of 1-10, what do we give the song? ❜

@jer3miah. words would always fail in these situations. in the times where her boys were breaking, when they were weary and tired, when it crossed their minds that she would not be here next christmas. that they would go on without her, which she needed them to. but the thought was more comforting to her, than it would ever be to them. he mentions belly, well, she did first. but it stings a little. their conversations were mostly over texts these days. not the usual calls, and isabel never came along when laurel was around. she knows their girl is suffering, that everything is frightening her. but what hurts more is the unspoken answer from her son, fingers wrap around his own hands, but before she walks to grab him a charger, she pulls him into a hug, giving him a squeeze with all the power she has in her body. luckily it was a good day, so that power was almost double than what she had the last weekend where laurel had stayed the entire time. gently pulling back after what might've been a little too long, cupping his cheek, pressing her lips to his forehead.

" i have a charger, let me get it for you, sweet boy. " another kiss to the crown of his head before she walks towards the chair she'd been reading in lately. rereading laurel's books, making her feel closer to the ones she loved, not further way from life than ever. it was weird knowing your days were more numbered than others. other people didn't know when their lives would stop, it could be tomorrow or fifty years. beck had months, if she was lucky. that was a terrible feeling. but the worst parts was leaving behind her boys, belly, steven ... and laurel. she wonders if her original special girl would ever truly be the same again, if she'd laugh the same way. if she'd let herself fall in love with someone else. " here you go, no rap. i want a proper dance, where i get to hold my boy and snuggle up. " grinning at him as she speaks.

[sunmoved]

the totality of his colossal heart once resided within the walls of a beach house nothing more than a few feet from his most memorable shore. but that's changed, so much has changed, and his heart now carries new tenants. that same oversized heart that once called cousins home, still does so, but it's not the only place that love and magic coexist. for some time now he'd come to long accept that the magic of cousins was coursing through their veins, pulsating up and through their system with the beats of their unified hearts, through all of them, because of susannah. susannah fisher, paragon of hope and ideals and happy endings, a woman far from faultless yet still perfect in his eyes, scattered her magic within them all. he imparts it on the new additions, her magic envelops them warmly. the magic thrives when they're all together, it's a curative thing, he's warmer, conscious that her soul will linger as long as they do.

though he knew since the day they'd fatefully collided in the crowded streets of soho that he wanted @prophecey to be a forever type of deal, it still amazes him to no end that he would want the same with jeremiah. jeremiah's often a carefree spirit, thoroughly pleased conveying his charm offensive on others. he's had various partners, not as many long-term relationships, but he's consistently had an abundance of love to give, and he hadn't been quite willing to place it all in one person, not until him. not until the man standing before him concordant to spending the rest of his life with him.

❛ yes? you'll— you're saying yes. ❜ unlikely for him to stumble over his words, but the bliss is ricocheting through him at blinding speeds, leaving him in disarray. i was going to propose to you in cousins next week, meaning they would've rather coincidentally proposed at the same time if it weren't for him refusing this spur of the moment escape them. jeremiah's grin couldn't have blown any wider across his jaw, it's dilated from ear to ear, generating fine creases at the corners of his eyes and utterly encapsulating the sun setting like a halo behind him. lips are pulled over a row of bright ivories and a laugh erupts from his chest, his everything descending to a kneel before him and taking his face in his hands, ring trapped between their chests.

their foreheads are resting against each others and tears pool in his eyes, infinity taking shape of his very favorite person in the entire world. that partiality was once reserved for susannah, but with her gone, andrés had swept in and occupied the spot. well, if they weren't counting on four-legged family members. releasing a shuddering yet steadying breath, jeremiah's hands shift between them and he leans back where he kneels, one hand reaching for andrés left hand and slipping the metal band onto his ring finger. he admires it for a moment, the ring no longer heavy in his pocket, and bright eyes flicker up to see the most beautiful ocean mirrored in his fiancé's eyes. ❛ we're getting married. ❜

there were three places that felt like home. spain, new york, and cousins beach. they had flown from new york to madrid, and would be stateside a week later, enjoying some time on their beach. there was one constant in all three places, and his fingers were laced through andrés' as they walked along the shores of madrid. home, he realized, had never actually been a place. home was a person. home was the man that shined brighter than the sun. they could travel the entire world, visit every country, every city and it would still feel like home, as long as he had @jer3miah by his side.

at first, he didn't think anything of his partner coming to a stop. they took their time on their walks, and it was not uncommon for them to stop and take in the beauty of the world around them. whenever he admired the beauty of the world, he looked toward his sun. he barely managed to let his lips brush over his boyfriend's jaw before jeremiah was stepping in front of him, and andrés watched him curiously. jeremiah reflected the movement of the setting sun as he dropped to a knee in front of him. and the world stopped. the sun stopped setting, the waves stopped crashing on the shore. there were no other people, no beach houses, no birds flying above, nothing else existed in that moment except for jeremiah and andrés.

he did not know who reached for who, but one of jeremiah's hands was still holding up a ring while the other held his. "mi amor, mi sol, i am afraid that i can not make you the happiest man in the world, because i am quite sure that title already belongs to me." tears formed behind his eyes even as he smiled down at the love of his life. "yes. sí, yes. of course i will marry you." and then he was laughing, and that was not the most appropriate reaction to being proposed to on the beach, but it was the most joyous sound. "i was going to propose to you in cousins next week. you just could not wait seven days, could you?" he teased, but he was grinning from ear to ear.

he did not know what the proper way to do this was. for his own hypothetical proposal, he did not get past the plan to drop to one knee and pull out a ring. he supposed it would make the most sense for jeremiah to stand back up and put the ring on his finger, but that did not feel right in the moment. instead, andrés got down on his level, kneeling and walking the few steps to close the distance between them on his knees. both hands lifted to cup jeremiah's face and he kissed one of his cheeks, then the other, then pressed his forehead against the other male's. "yes. a million times yes."

[sunmoved]

with his preferred toddler propped up onto his left arm, and one of his best friends tucked beneath the other one, there are sunbeams glowing from the expanse of his chest. it's been many years since susannah's departure from this earth, but he knows to the depths of his soul that she didn't lay dormant beneath them. she keeps a close eye over them, protects them through tribulations, her solace taking shape in their distinct strengths. her soul and magic forever linger in the walls of that very house. he didn't recognize a life so full of love could be reinstated, but it had, even without his mom, it had. but it's because no matter the pangs of grief and pain that death causes, no matter how barren the halls could feel without one of his favorite people in the entire world, the magic never truly left. it's scattered in each and everyone of them, she did that herself, in the time she'd come to grace their lives, and jeremiah will hold onto that for dear life. he'll never snuff out the light, he'll keep it ignited forever because now he knows, beck's sunshine boy doesn't come with the expectation of perpetual joy, it's just hope and optimism, even in the wake of shadows. in conrad's moon, jeremiah's the sun moving in to eclipse him, easing away some of his darkness.

a grin explodes across his countenance the moment beck opens her mouth and practically deafens him as he bounces her on his forearm, has she always been that loud? stupid question. his niece demands to be heard at all times, according to her, life begins and ends with her. poor unfortunate soul who comes to love her someday as they all love their significant others. ❝ actually, emmy will be here soon, he's staying late at the office for a site visit even though we're literally still jet-lagged from the flight. he had a lot waiting for him. ❞ he soothes his niece ( and her mother ) with emmy's whereabouts and ensuing plans. ❝ but if it's cool with you, bells, we were actually planning on staying for the week, he can work from home for this project, and we have some news to share, ❞ raising an all too expectant brow at her, jeremiah's guaranteeing that despite every urge to shout their future marriage through the halls of the house and in their group chat, andrés needs to be a part of it.

he levels belly with a smile reserved for her and her alone, for the person who's understood him the way susannah always has. conrad had grown to see him, in the way that they had, because jeremiah finally let him. he let him see beneath the tiers of blinding sunshine, he let him into the parts obscured inside. ❝ if i tell you the truth... promise not to get mad? i texted conrad that same day. he didn't tell you because i swore him to secrecy. ❞ before giving her a chance to react, he's taking a rather sizable step back from around her slighter frame and swiftly shifting beck in his arms so that she's positioned between them. ❝ don't hurt me, i have precious cargo here! ❞ @tideals

this was home. cousins beach had always been home, but somehow, when jeremiah came around, that feeling settled even deeper into her bones. jeremiah was engaged. he was getting married and her heart couldn't be fuller. isabel loves andrés, and more importantly, beck loved and adores both her uncles. beaming up at her best friend, the urge to curl deeper into his embrace to celebrate this, instead she wiggles her brows playfully, poking a finger into his ribs. " am i best man? or are you giving that title to my husband? " she teases, something that always came easy around him. conrad once told her, you needed two soulmates. a romantic one, and a platonic one. and maybe that was what had brought confusion to her once. she'd thought it was all or nothing, that the way her heart sang around the blonde curly headed boy was confusing. it wasn't fireworks, it was more like a warm bonfire on a summer night, sparkles flying, but not igniting. it was a warmth, some kind of safety. something that told her everything would never be completely dark. she would always have someone to lean on - she's glad she learned that lesson. and it had been years ( and a beck ) since she did. life was looking great, but the thought that jeremiah had found his own fireworks now brings tears to her eyes, and before she gets to say more, they're together with their own tiny beam of sunshine.

" 'finity much!!! " beck exclaims, holding out her arms to show just how much she missed her uncle. but it doesn't take long before she starts looking around, confusion coloring her little cute face and squishy cheeks. " no emmy? " making belly snort into her hand. it was nice to know even the favorite uncle wasn't always enough for their little menace. leaning forward to tickle her stomach, then curling into jeremiah's other side. life was pretty good like this, she was excited for conrad to come back from the clinic and join them. but mentioning beck's dad in front of her was a bad idea. however obsessed beck was with her uncles - she was even more obsessed with her condad.

" i'm sure emmy and miah would love to come for dinner this weekend if you ask them very nicely. " she fake whispers to the little squirmy kid in his arms. watching how beck starts to suck up to him, nuzzling her little face against his neck and resting her little hand on his cheek. " pwease? dinner weekend? " everything inside of belly aches to tell the little girl about the fact that her uncles were getting FREAKING MARRIED. but alas, that wasn't belly's news to share, even if her phone felt heavy in her back pocket. " am i the first who knows? " she inquires instead, grinning all over her face.

[sunmoved]

if dellecher had a subject that was just beach, jere would excel. dean's list, would never miss a day of class. it can mean anything. is it the ocean, is it about sand, what's found there? but since he's studying something he'll sadly never end up using in the future ( latin it was adam who contributed to that choice ), he is not the most studious

[sunmoved]

the drive from northport down to cousins was one he could embark on with muscle memory alone if it weren't so critically frowned upon.    northport may be his latest residence, encompassing half of his heart and a new chapter of his adulthood, but cousins will invariably be his home. it's never been said that two places couldn't be home, and that's what he has, that's what he'll never surrender. cousins is the only place where jeremiah could feel magic droning furtively within the walls, if he listens intently, he could hear susannah's laugh even when she's out of sight, he could hear steven bickering on the phone or yelling at their ancient console, or he could see a metal-mouthed belly pining over conrad from across the living room. so much has changed and yet it feels like time's at a perpetual standstill when in the magic of cousins house. to be frank though, it's never been the house, it's always been her.

elbowing the drivers side door to his jeep shut as he steadies multiple duffels in his hands, he strides over to the front door where bailey fervently wriggles within his mother's arms. ❝ bails, girl, relax, ❞ stepping up onto the familiar porch, jeremiah weaves around the golden's head and places a kiss to his mother's cheek, his head then slumping against her shoulder in something resembling a limbless embrace. ❝ hey, mom, ❞ a soft smile, a steadying breath now that he's by her side again. whenever they go beyond a few months without visiting one another, harsh realities tug at the back of the sunshine boy's mind, anxieties of her now cured diagnosis rearing its ugly head. so each and every time he sees her now, relief swarms his breast and harmonizes his colossal heart. ❝ let me get this inside so that i can give you a proper hug. ❞

jeremiah fisher ( @norholy ) + susannah beck.

ㅤㅤsummers were her favorite, they embodied all the magic from the whole year, which filled up her deposits to make it last until next summer. susannah would savor and care for the magic and love for whenever the family was together. her heart was whole knowing her family would gather up in the cousins' house this week, and hopefully everyone would be swayed to stay for the whole summer. maybe her son's husband would have to go to work sometimes, but she was hoping her sunshine boy would stay by his mother's side.

ㅤㅤthere's a humming as she spins around the kitchen, cooking her start of the summer meal. susannah didn't cook much during summers, that was mostly her wife. but she would always be in charge of the first meal which set off the start of summer. then she hears the car, and a bark following, knowing that her sweet boy had arrived. conrad and belly had been there already, since they mostly lived at the house now. lowering the heat on the stove, she moves to the front door, crouching down to greet the barreling golden retriever that runs to her arms. "hi sweetheart, your nana beck missed you," she hums and scoops her up, knowing that if conrad had been here - he would've fussed about her carrying the dog, just as she did when she would carry around her sweet granddaughter and namesake. "and hi my sunshine boy."

[sunmoved]

moved to a sideblog on my multi, @sunstir!