sunporches-blog

[sunporches-blog]

Death

We're living in a life waiting room

Somewhere between birth and death called life

We'll die at some point, leaving every trace of yourself in this world.

For some people, death might seems the only way out. This world just too suffocating to live in, and death might looks like we can just end things.

But the truth about death is, it's the new beginning of the after life

We're bound to continue to live no matter what, and depends on your deed in this world

No, death is not the answer for your hopelessness

For some other people, they're too afraid to die

They're in love with this world too much. For the family they have here, for all the stuff they could purchase, for the experience and happiness

Death means an end to all those amazing things

[sunporches-blog]

Working

I used to work in a place where I had to move around a lot and came home late because of all the photoshoot and CF shoot. I had to gather insight from the internet and also consultant for my next marketing move. I had to order pleasant things for the ambassador, be nice to them even though they're being a prick. Well not all of them but at times they decided to be, I had to always be the nice one. Ever.

That was not the kind of job that I like to do for the rest of my life, so I decided to looked for another job that might be better in terms of quality of life. So I decided to join my current place of work. The more I learned about how the world works makes me realized that there're no such thing as an ideal place of work. The quality of life that I longed for is definitely not there for me to get. All of the overworked glorifying that I truly hate is there.

[sunporches-blog]

New York

You don't always dream.

But of course, you could.

That day, I was looking at my phone. I scrolled my social media religiously until I came across a post from a stranger. Long story short, she just finished her master degree from Columbia University.

I logged out that account, and I logged in another account. I saw my friend posted a capture of congratulatory email. I opened the picture and I saw an acceptance letter from Columbia University. She was admitted in a analytical degree and it's an amazing program.

I put down my phone, and stared at the wall. People moving forward with their life. They worked hard to level up theirselves. And those lucky people that I saw, were literally living a dream in the heart city of the world, New York.

New York is like 12 hours away from here. It is on another part of the world. Maybe, if I rely on my money, I won't ever go there. Or even if I managed to go there, it'll only be a week or two at max. But that city got so much interesting things to experience. So many movies or novels took place in there. New York as the background city of the stories, and how the people (mostly) loved it there. One example is my favorite of all time series, How I Met Your Mother. New York was described as a goal city. The city you couldn't live without. And that idea make me real curious about, how's the city actually is.

Well, I know. It won't be as interesting as all the stories I watched, heard or even read, no. I know that. but this curiosity is already growing and I know, I have to mustered up my courage (and my motivation, and brain) to take a toll for a way to experienced New York to the fullest, that is by living there.

I must be sounding ridiculously stupid to have a motivation to study because of the city. Well, I realized it too but that doesn't mean I couldn't. I really want to continue my study in New York. I really need the big motivation and the big brain to go there. I need my biggest source of energy to move my ass to get prepared. I started it quite well to be honest, but in the middle of the journey, my mind got tangled in private matters that I lose that spirit.

Now, I'm back.

Yes, I want to proudly say I'm back.

I'll go that route again, I promise myself. Let's grab the dream and don't think of anything else. Your world right now might be crumbled.

But not yourself.

Let's go!

[sunporches-blog]

Rain Diary

It is raining now.

Have I ever told you that I love rainy season? The mixture of earth and rain smells divine. The melodic sounds of the water drops is music for my ears. And not to mention the cold breeze that blows your hair away. That might be the beginning of a bad hair day but who cares when the chilly air is what you are longing for.

Ah, don't forget all the memories.

That day when you rode a motorcycle with him and God suddenly decided to pour the heavy rain on you. The both of you found a shelter and there was an awkward silence after the "wow, it's pouring so hard" sentence. The love and hate conflicted mind you have where you loved that moment so much because you could savor your togetherness but how you hate that there's literally nothing in common of you and him to be talked to.

Or the scene of your not-so-favorite drama where your definitely most-loved-of-all-time actor said "why it couldn't be me?" question under the hard rain. How you wish this world could be a little bit fairer for everyone? The painful feelings you experienced throughout the show for the fictional character but the happiness you felt because starting from that moment, the original person is shine brighter in his industry and everyone's definitely in love with him.

Well, of course I couldn't forget the day I decided to run again. That morning seemed like a normal morning and suddenly a heavy pouring rain happened in the middle of the run. You can't help but to ran faster, and all your clothing was soaked. And how you hated your damp shoes. And don't forget all the eyes on you, for running instead of looking for a place to wait for the rain to stop. But the after feeling of running under the rain? Amazing. Invigorating. How you wished it'll last longer for days so you don't have to experience the ugly parts.

Well, dear rain

You might not be all rainbows. You might be associated with gloomy and sad by most. But believe me, there's not such thing as black and white in this world. Something can't be purely bad nor good.

So let's embraced it.

And be patient.

At the end of the day, if you stayed, the good parts will definitely come to you. All you gotta do is to believe it'll happen ✨