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[sunshyneeee]

🌻

[sunshyneeee]

Read this when you’re missing him

To sh

First. DO NOT second guess. You will, that’s natural, but know in your heart that you did everything you possibly could AND MORE for honestly far far too long. You were supportive, you texted back often, you sent messages that were sweet and he ignored them or talked around them. For months, you tried and tried to find ways to make it better and you told him how you were feeling multiple times, he promised to be better but he never did. He DID NOT deserve you and you deserve so so much better.

Second. You and him were not soul mates. You did not have similar interests. The literal only thing you had in common was school, drinking/ social events, and traveling (when you were abroad). And all of those things were coming to an end. When you used to hang out with him in the end, it was awkward and quiet, all he did was talk about football and when I tried to talk about my interests (21 pilots, grad school, my anxiety about graduation and change) he always chose to oppose your view. Literally the only reason you did not break up with him so many times was because he treated you well, and that’s all. You always knew, really knew, that you and him were not best friends. You wanted different things and you had separate interests. Eminem?? No matter how hard I tried I could never enjoy listening to that.

Third. He didn’t treat you right for so long. In the last six months, you’ll look back on the texts and think, it wasn’t that bad. But it was. He didn’t take you on dates, he didn’t go out with you for weekends, he always did things with his friends (always) and not with you. The only real thing he had going for him in your whole relationship was his lovely treatment of you and, well... that’s just long gone and it isn’t coming back. So there’s literally nothing to him.

Three & a half. He caused you to have SUCH bad anxiety, it would eat away at you and you wouldn’t eat for days and you’d constantly feel like bursting into tears. Every second you thought of your relationship, every text you sent, every time he took 24 hours to reply to a Snapchat. Even just scrolling through social media you were anxious. Think about the constant frustration you felt for so long when you were with him in the end, and remember the peace you felt after the breakup- no need to post on Snapchat, no need to insta post, just peace and relaxation from a constant insecurity that HE CAUSED.

Fourth. Remember what it felt like when you finally broke it off. It was truly a sense of relief from the anxiety and pain. Finally a sense of peace after so much and such intense frustration. When you went home after the breakup, you asked everyone to pour a drink and celebrate. You told abigail about it at work and she was instantly SO happy and proud of you. You felt in top of the world and you swore you never would get back together with him, you never would second guess it, and you should have done it a long time ago.

Extra. Do NOT find excuses. You were not talking to anyone else. You did not give up. You have him NO REASON to treat you the way he did, if anything you did the opposite. Don’t think back and think, “oh, well this is why it happened and now I realize”. No. You gave it your all, and he was the one that was the reason for everything falling apart in the end. Remember the terrible anxiety you felt every second you thought of his name.

Fifth. He says he simply lost feelings, he says that it’s because of this or that that I did wrong. It’s not. We dated for two full years before he started acting like this, he knew exactly who I was and he still loved me back then. He is the one who changed. He barely passed any classes first semester, he barely went to the gym, smoked weed alll the time, and didn’t even try to get a job even being broke.

Sixth. Being with him did not make you a better person. In fact, you started feeling less and less confident. Struggling with social anxiety, getting insecure, etc. he did not make me a better person like another man can and will.

You still have things that YOU love. Sunshine, mama Mia movies, cats, old people. He used to think that you loving those things was cute but he didn’t partake. To be happy and be yourself, just keep doing these things. They are yours and only yours and they have the ability to make you happier than he ever could

The first 5 days after the breakup the song “happier” by marshmallow was stuck in your head for no reason (it was a sign) all day

You can do so much better. But him, there’s a fat chance he’ll find someone who gets along so well with his friends and his family. You were the settler, and now you can go find someone better. He did you a favor.

[sunshyneeee]

“Never be afraid to fall apart because it is an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along.”

— Rae Smith

[sunshyneeee]

This life won’t last forever neither will this night neither will this song all we can do is dance while it’s here ♡

[sunshyneeee]

How to Leave the Past Behind

When you’re feeling overwhelmed with your sadness and loss, it’s hard to believe that your life will ever change, or you’ll ever be able to smile or laugh again. But the truth is you will – it won’t always be this bad – and there are things you can do help move on with your life:

1. Decide to face your pain. An unresolved past never really goes away. You may think you have buried your anger and pain but the hurt is still there and it will surface later on. If you don’t face what happened, and the feelings it unleashed, you will end up being ruled by your subconscious mind. So try and find the courage to revisit all the pain.

2. Accept there’s nothing you can do to change the past. What’s happened has happened, and what’s done is done. There’s nothing you can do to turn back the hands of time, or to rewrite the story so the ending’s happier. But you can change how you think, and you can start over again, and build a different future that’s not poisoned by the past.

3. Be grateful for the good times. There’s usually something good that you can be thankful for. You don’t have to pretend that everything was bad – or write off any good times and happy memories.

4. Consciously let go and set your focus on the future - Don’t let the baggage, or the failures of the past, affect your identity or self esteem. You are NOT what you did, or how you acted previously. You’re not just a product of what happened to you. You are valuable, unique and you have so much to give. You’re the author of your future; you control your destiny.

5. Remove your past from your future. We all have a tendency to think that the past will morph into our future – and become our lot in life. But that doesn’t have to happen. The future’s a blank page. You can change your expectations – and work towards those goals. Instead, look hard for the exceptions – the times when things went right – and notice what you did that resulted in success. You still have those same strengths, skills and great qualities.

6. Be realistic and take small steps at first. You can’t snap your fingers - and find that life has changed. Accept it will take time, and you will still have some bad days – but if you keep on going then the past will lose its grip.

[sunshyneeee]

written for scottiediaries

[sunshyneeee]

“Not everyone you love will stay. Not everyone you trust will be loyal. Some people only exist as an example of what to avoid.”

— What If - by Clarvoyant

[sunshyneeee]

You know who should prove you wrong?

You.

minusthenegative.com

[sunshyneeee]

If things went from bad to worse, that means they can change. If they can change, they can change for the better.

minusthenegative.com

[sunshyneeee]

you deserve someone who is sure about you.

[sunshyneeee]

“Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, and misses you. Because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the stars.”

— Nico Lang

[sunshyneeee]

Paris With Me | Pont de l'Archevêché. 

[sunshyneeee]

“Sometimes you are going to miss a person who was an almost to you. And feel sad because there is no name for that feeling. You just feel it in a way that makes you tired to your very bones.”

— Nikita Gill, Almost Feelings (via books-n-quotes)

[sunshyneeee]

[sunshyneeee]

[sunshyneeee]

How do you get over heartbreak? 😩 I been stuck on an ex for a year I feel ridiculous and crazy at times for still feeling anything

you will experience heartbreak, it will burn like a thousand cigarettes. your emotions will be reduced to ashes but every strong person morphed their pain into freedom. it is okay to not be okay, everything levels eventually. stop waiting for apologies. no one has the power to heal you like you. what you feel is real, but what you give power to overrides that feeling by a mile. by choosing yourself, you destroy a friendly monster we all know as attachment. choose freedom. in finding yourself, you will lose people but that is not a loss. clarity is a greater gift. sometimes choosing yourself over love is love in itself. loneliness is not a fatal stage. what you allow yourself to feel and grow through, grows you. there’s always a scratch where a rose is growing. sometimes blood is only there as a reminder that you’ve come this far. the final stage is shedding for new skin. somebody leaving reveals a lot about you. make good use of your pain. heartbreak forces you to look into who you really are. do not be afraid to visit yourself over, and over and over until you don’t have to run anymore.

[sunshyneeee]

everything will be okay. before you know it, i’ll be looking back thinking, “i knew i could have faith in myself”. the days will get warm and i’ll find different, better reasons to smile. i’ll grow. and i’ll grow into a person i love- and it’ll be better than okay, it’ll be good. i’ll see.