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When you found hope

I never dreamed reality again

From my cups of disappointment and shard heartaches

I lost the ocean of hope

Tears in the cold long lonely nights

Trembling hands of uttered words that mostly slain

Beating heart waiting in vain to the extent of unending rants

I guess i dont deserve something

Better than worst

Who knows?

Sunrise of new beggining to sunset of comforts

Dawn to dusk of ever unworthy thought

Grasp pain in the yesterday’s once more

One sudden morning,

Closed eyes slowly opened into the warm hugs felt

Feels like a vast of freedom poured out last night

Past mistakes neglected, self-esteem ascended

Never wanting to be its victim but became addicted of the butterflies in the stomach gracefully dancing

Like a sound of waves of peace and sunlight rays

As curtains danced in the wind of will

Oh God, heaven-sent now finally happened

Blessed i was, to fall in the rabbit hole

What a new stationary aesthetic world of mine!

Ransomed from the battle of all aches

No weapons but undeafeted

Even conquered the tornado of throe

Well, love finds in every possible way to its victory.

[supahoneylicious-blog]

“When a woman stands with her back to the wind and her face to the sun, raises her head then exhales and finally lets go, that is a powerful moment for her. So many feelings run through her body at that time. She feels happy yet saddened; excited, yet afraid about the chapter to come. But the one thing she knows for sure is, she is finally free to find her own happiness.” -Mr. Amari Soul Thank you @mr.amarisoul finished reading your Reflections of a Man book for the nth time truly an inspiration and relieving to read, hope you’d continue to inspired everyone. You will always be my favorite motivational author 💙

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When you’re broke

Bakit may mga bagay na kung minsan di mo maintindihan. Yung tipong ang dami mong mga tanong pero ni isa sa mga tanong na yun wala kang maibigay na sagot.

....

Di ko ba deserve maging malaya? Malayang magmahal, malayang magtiwala, malayang gawin ang mga bagay kung saan ako masaya? Kailan ba ako nagkulang? Hindi ba ako sapat? Ano pa ba ang mga bagay na makakapagligaya sa isang tao bukod sa pagbibigay na matamis na pagmamahal na kung toto-usin ay sapat naman na panangga sa pagpasok ng isang relasyon? Sadyang kulang ba talaga ang isang babae para sa isang lalaki din? Ba't may nagda-dalawahan, nagta-tatluhan diyan?

May mga luhang kanina pang nagbabadya na ang hirap pigilan. Sa ilalim ng gabi, ungol na katahimikan, buhos ng malakas na ulan, hanging nanunuot sa balat. Pang ilang gabi na nga ba ito? Mga anim, pito, walo at siyam hanggang labing lima at sige pa. May mga tanong na pilit at dahan-dahang pumapatay. San ba kasi pwedeng kumuha ng mga sagot sa mga tanong ng ilang gabi nang pinag-puyatang aralan upang mabigyan ng saktong kahulugan? Hanggang kailan ba mag udyok ang mga bagay na wala namang kwenta sana pero nanghimok na ito'y isipin pa?

Masakit.

Ang sakit isiping may mga taong sadyang nanakit ng damdamin sa iba sa di mawaring na dahilan.

Sana naman pinatay nalang at sa gayun ay mawala na ang mga sakit na ilang taon nang kini-kimkim. Ba't ba kasi isinugod pa sa hospital? Tino-turokan ng nga matatalis na karayom, nakalapag sa kama't walang ibang magawa kundi kaininin at inomin ang mga ibinigay kahit ito'y wala naman sa panlasa. Ang daming gamot na ininom. Pero nandito parin, manhid at tanga sa katotohanang ikaw lamang ang bukod tanging makapag bibigay ng lunas!

Ang daming mga tanong na hanggang ngayon ay di mo man lang nabigyan ng sagot. Bakit?

Akala ko masarap sa pakiramdam dito sa ibabaw. Nakalutang, walang problema, katabi mo mga ulap at mga ibong nagliliparan. Pero hindi pala ganun kadali. Nag-aaway pala ang expectation vs reality sa sitwasyon na ito. Naiwan sa ere pero hindi mga ulap ang katabi, ang daming problema, yung akala ibon ang mga nagliliparan pero mga salita palang di mawala sa isip na 'baka' 'bakit' 'kaya' 'sana' ang dami e. Mapagbiro talaga ang tadhana potang ina to!

.....

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This last means a lot to me. 🌷 I could not literally enumerate how our relationship gone wrong, even i am towards you. Because i do believe we both still have the best love story could ever told. We'd been through ups and downs besides knowing you has always been enough for me. Those experiences mold us to be a better person and we finally made it, were here! Committing one's mistakes proved that acceptance and forgiveness arose after all. I am now flying without wings and if this so called time is the only thing that we could heal each others heart then i am now bravely taking risks. 🕊 Thank you, love. 💌

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No story lives unless someone wants to listen!

There I was standing in the middle of a crowded room searching for some faces, faces that seem familiar, faces that would pass a smile, faces that would look deep into my eyes.

I became numb as I see and see and see and finally when I understood that there was no one. No one who would care, no one who would try to care. I felt shattered. I just wanted to run, run so fast that in no instant I’m so far from here, these people, that all I can hear is my heart pounding. But my feets disagreed. They were still, not moving an inch. I could feel I’m losing. I could feel I’m dying. I could feel I’m lost. Because I was waiting for something that’s never going to happen.

I took a deep breath, calm myself down. I told myself that I’m strong. I told myself that I could handle this all alone. I gained courage. After trying so hard, I was feeling okay. I felt that I’m on track. I looked up… 

And suddenly I was surrounded by the faces I know. Those eyes, those smiles were all familiar. They were looking at me and smiling as if they want to know me. But where they were when I needed them the most? Why they appear when everything seems okay? To encourage me or to see me going down again?

That day I realized that the only person I  would ever need is me. I am the only one who is going to be with me till the end, not my mother, not my father, not my family, not my friends, no one.. 

So try to live for yourself!

That was the day that made me who I am today. And today I am myself, more than I ever was. Today I live a story that I wanted to live with only one starring hero - Me.

By

Jahanvi Gupta

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Tokyo pepper stack 💯

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To the man who never gets tired of capturing beautiful shots of mine, who supports me all the way, accepted my flaws and even tolerate my endless tantrums. I am always blessed beacause i have you and i couldn’t ask for more.

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So where those jokes brought us which we only started at? Three years and two months! Cheers to more years of fun and adventures! 🥂

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My love for you is as high as the sky Beneath the mountain around my eyes You are a dream of mine, my beautiful nightmare Love me like how I wanted to be. 📝 Written English Short Poem