superficialdomina

[superficialdomina]

This might be the first New Year's Resolution I've ever kept for this long: I've been commenting at least once on every work I've given Kudos this year (sometimes more than once for chaptered fics). I really couldn't recommend it more highly! It gets so much easier with practice, and my inbox is full of lovely replies from happy authors.

If you liked it enough to leave Kudos, there's something nice to say about it, even if it's just "this was really good!" Just leave a comment!!! :D

THIS IS INCREDIBLE!!!! JUST LEAVE A COMMENT BABEEEYYYYY!!!

[superficialdomina]

How do you get the dbt and whatever anger processing skills to actually, well, process the anger?

I can tell WHY I'm angry. What I'm mad at. I can think rationally and know that bad impulses are bad, I can sit there and Feel My Feelings, but none of it actually, like, helps.

I'll use clearing out your inbox as an example. I know that was an important thing for you to do to take care of your own mental health. I know it would be cruel and unproductive to send you a hate ask about it, even if my ape brain really wants to. I know it would also be bad to throw my phone across the room and break it. I can sit there and validate my anger and dissect all the little causes and factors and I can Feel it until the cows come home but it's not Going Anywhere

When I lash out or do something destructive, it actually processes the feeling and I can move on. The only other way to actually Move On is to just ignore it, but then it piles up until I lash out and release it later, destructively.

What do I do?? How is being normal and treating the world around you with basic respect natural to other people but so fucking difficult for me? You talk like it's so easy, like you can Understand your way out of actually dealing with your feelings. Does that actually work for people?

Hi anon,

This such a real, relatable, frustrating experience. You’re doing all the things you’re “supposed” to do like noticing the feeling, identifying it, validating it, not lashing out. And yet? The anger is still there. Still hot. Still tight in your chest. Still not moving.

That’s not failure. That’s just proof that understanding isn’t the same as processing.

Anger needs somewhere to go. It’s not just a cognitive puzzle we solve by being self-aware. And for people who’ve spent their whole lives suppressing, exploding, or invalidating their anger, it makes sense that the only thing that brings relief is a destructive release. That’s how your body learned to let go which is by force.

But that doesn’t mean it’s the only way. It just means your nervous system hasn’t had a chance to practice safe ways to discharge that energy yet.

You can't really think your way out of a bodily emotion. It lives there. Processing doesn't always mean sitting quietly and feeling your feelings.

For me? I used to smash things. Still get the urge. These days, I’ll break ice in the bathtub or outside in winter. It’s loud, messy, satisfying with no real harm. But damn, does it really scratch that itch sometimes.

Sometimes I scream. Just… scream. If I need to muffle it, I’ll go into a pillow. Other times, I punch the hell out of my punching bag. And when I finally collapse after all that? I usually start crying. That’s when I know the anger moved through.

Sometimes venting is what processing looks like. And it doesn’t have to be harmful.

And honestly? Treating people with respect while you’re furious rarely feels good in the moment. It feels like swallowing broken glass. I’ve had my husband send messages for me because I couldn’t bring myself to be kind but I knew I needed to be. It’s not second nature. It’s work. Really hard work.

You’re not broken. You’re just stuck in the in-between: the part where you’re too self-aware to let it explode outward, but haven’t found a way to release it safely inward. That’s a brutal place to be. And I promise it doesn’t last forever.

You're doing a hard thing by noticing this and still choosing not to hurt others. That matters. And you’re not alone in this frustration.

[superficialdomina]

do not dare question my loyalty

because even when i don’t have you

you will still always have me.

july 25th 3:23 pm.

[superficialdomina]

some loki hairstyles ✨

[superficialdomina]

[superficialdomina]

Sometimes when life is overwhelming or boring I pretend I'm on taskmaster.

My head: "Wait for and ride the bus, then get to your destination. You have 1 hour. Fastest wins. Your time starts now."

"Wash the dishes. Cleanest dishes win. Your time starts now and stops when you've washed all the dishes. There's a bonus point if you do not forget the big pot on the table."

"Ask for help. Fastests wins. You get a bonus point if you do not feel embarrassed while doing it. Your time starts ......... now!"

[superficialdomina]

If it keeps you from killing yourself it's not stupid. This applies to anything btw.

[superficialdomina]

[superficialdomina]

Loki : Mother, is it true that you can see into the future?

Frigga : No, darling. And you should always be wary if someone claims to have that power.

Loki : Some people say you can.

Frigga : Why should I dispel a rumour if it’s to my advantage?

—————————-

Volstagg : You know, there’s this rumour that Loki is the father of a giant wolf and giant snake.

Fandral : Who knows? Loki himself is silent on the subject.

[superficialdomina]

Beautiful Redheads With Terrible Husbands Club

[superficialdomina]

[superficialdomina]

bitch this is all you’re gonna get. this life, this face, this body. you better not ‘maybe in another universe’ your way out of everything. sit your ass down and face this. go make tea and have a picnic and read a goddamn book. kiss your loved ones, send that damn text, and hug your siblings. this is all you’re gonna get.

[superficialdomina]

writing tip #3894:

love each other

[superficialdomina]

[superficialdomina]

[superficialdomina]

[superficialdomina]