supermassivesschwarzesloch

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the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

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You think showing up to a gunfight with a knife is bad? I showed up with Goethes Hauptwerk to a Faustkampf hinter dem Aldiparkplatz

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BREAK & ENTER, PHOTOGRAPHED BY BARRY Honcho, July 1988 [credit: AutoErotica]

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the problem with driving is its realtime when it should be turn-based

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interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume?

me: mhm so that’s called a lacuna. it refers to when manuscripts have missing parts, lost to time. for example, the epic of gilgamesh has

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citationless behavior

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Would a Furby be kosher, if it were alive/in the Furby canon?

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thou doth shred it drawing prompt from the wife: Medieval Pro Skater 1533

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has this been done before

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I hate when another car forces you to park terribly but then they leave before you and it’s just like great. Well now my atrocious park job is deprived of context and I look like an asshole

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What do normal people who haven't had half their personality shaped by the lord of the rings think about when they are scraping butter across bread?

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Plot twist: the two boys you're choosing between are polyamorous, but they also hate eachother's guts so you still have to pick one