suspiriumoon

[suspiriumoon]

13 maret 2025, bulan puasa tidur habis sahur

Mimpi ke konferensi arsitektur di jepang.

Ternyata duduknya disebelah titin (temen sma, bukan anak arsitektur) 😩

Dibelakang tessa tito dan keiko (dengan posisi isi kepala keiko adalah anak tito & tessa)

Nanya2 arsitektur ke aku mereka teh (si tau 🥹)

Terus udah beres kan pulang, mau pipis, ada mas2 mau mandi juga. Pintu nya teh bisa pencet kalo kamu persib terus nyala dengan tulisan persib (kebayang ga sih) iya di jepang ada pintu dengan pencetan persib menyala…

Mau difoto, tp lagi ada aa aa mandi didalemnya, jd akuteh khawatir disangka motoin si aa mandi???

Lalu pas mau keluar bangunan, naik tangga, tp tangganya kayak mau copot??? Kayak?? Abis ke konferensi arsitek tp ga good architecture at all gini???

[suspiriumoon]

For 2023 post, I think I’ll post not only my picture, but the whole people I love from entire world.

I hope all of these people in the picture happy, healthy and wealthy.

My husband, my mom, my dad, my brother and my sister in law. You’re my everything.

So, how’s life?

Today, I have no money. No job.

I have several jobs before, but the money took too long to get. My projects were canceled. Can’t even think that I’ll be in this position at this age.

Worse, my husband’s projects got postponed and some of them canceled. He do some unpaid projects.

In this situation, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to escape and I don’t know how to survive.

But I’ll keep this in my mind: I’ll get a lot of money.

The good point is I managed to not borrow money from other people.

Well I really hope me and my husband can be better financially.

Still I have to be grateful for all the things that happened in my life.

Anyway good news is I finished my TBC treatment. I’m glad I’m healthy now. I’m glad that I’m surrounded by good people.

I hope the rest of this year will be on my side. I hope there’s good news waiting ahead. I hope I managed to survive this condition.

Well… see you next year with better reports??

[suspiriumoon]

2022 and nearly the end of the year!

Time flies.. wait what now 32?

Well.. things that happened in 2022 is I still on TB medicine (2 years now😮‍💨) and on september I fall from motorbike, someone hit me and had broken arm, but on october I took surgery so overall, it’s kinda fine now, except for some movement that I still can’t do.

Well… on this year we dreaming about having a house, starting to saving some money but it still long… long way to go…

I hope someday, not very long we have our own house! Amin!

I think that’s pretty much the sum of this year? Hehe

Still doing hard work, still making dreams come true

I hope me and maskiki healthy, manage money well, and have a lot of joy.

Next story, you can tell us about baby, maybe? I don’t know.

[suspiriumoon]

Dear panji,

You are full of hatred

Hatred that suddenly turned for yourself

You push too hard, you think you better than other people.

You sometimes don’t care how hurt you are, so you just pushed everyone away

That’s what I thought about you.

Maybe you have another version of seeing what you do

And I hope someday I can see your point of view

[suspiriumoon]

Focus with what I do is maybe the best thing I ever do.

I don’t care with what out there do. Well, I do but being anonymous is comforting.

No one looking. Just my inner circle.

You don’t have to know what I do, where I am or even who I am.

I am who you think about.

A stranger. A friend. A family. Or a lover.

[suspiriumoon]

A crazy life

Sometimes things just happened too fast

Where do we go?

[suspiriumoon]

Haloo 2021… things happened. Yes.

Look at the picture, i dont even ready to tell you whats going on.

Well i dont have any good picture because you know taking my picture face isnt my things now.

Next month i’ll be 31.

Guess what? Being 30s isnt bad. I manage to give zero fuck to this world.

I am nothing. I am everything.

The story of this year is..

I’m married. So it makes me a wife now.

I’m TBC survivor. Still taking medicines but everything getting better than before.

I’m blessed with my life. With what I have. Even it’s not that much.

So it pretty much is. See you next year tho!

[suspiriumoon]

My fucking goals:

✨healthy

✨not smoking

✨save money

[suspiriumoon]

Jangan lupa bersyukur

Jangan lupa rendah hati

Jangan lupa berbagi

Jangan lupa mencintai diri sendiri

[suspiriumoon]

I miss being healthy and doing anything

And everything

And going everywhere

Inside, I’m too sad to accept this kind of condition

But I’m not a loser nor a whiner

So I’ll remember this moment forever

To be grateful

And be patient

[suspiriumoon]

[suspiriumoon]

Saya mungkin lelah mengejar para manusia

Dan perilakunya

Lalu saya mulai menggali gua

Sepi.

Terkadang untuk membunuh waktu saya harus berbicara dengan kucing kucing.

Tapi tak apa,

Mengurusi urusan orang lain ternyata bukan tugas saya.

Melihat dan mengawasi setiap langkah orang juga bukan tugas saya.

Rasanya istirahat ini panjang, dan melelahkan.

Karena kepala saya berputar tanpa henti.

Tapi saya lebih bahagia begini, daripada seperti kemarin.

Sibuk memikirkan orang lain.

[suspiriumoon]

If you asked me who i am, i am everything

[suspiriumoon]

Terkadang, menerima itu sama sulitnya dengan memberi

[suspiriumoon]

No make up for me this month or another month. Nothing to hide, still give love to other species in this earth. Still useless. But managed to be sober for a long time. So now, what else world has prepared for me?

[suspiriumoon]

As I thought about how she feels, I made an instant karma

It HURTS like hell. To know that I am hurt him.

It’s hurt when he said “I love you” and smile

For the first time of my life, I really don’t want to hurt a person.

It’s him. A person who loves me. And I’m feeling so lucky to have him.

Cause I feel safe.

God, I don’t know how to pray well, but I want you to give the best for him. For he always give the best for everyone and almost forget about himself.

[suspiriumoon]

Lalu semua berjalan

Melintas, ada yang menepi lalu pergi

Menuju titiknya masing masing