sweetsugarwater - Tumblr blog

[sweetsugarwater]

"Strawberries" by Nikifor Yaskov (1950s)

[sweetsugarwater]

[sweetsugarwater]

 Andrea Gibson, You Better Be Lightning

[sweetsugarwater]

Orpheus. 19th.century. Henry Dasson French 1825-1896. marble.                        http://hadrian6.tumblr.com

[sweetsugarwater]

by ToshiaSan

[sweetsugarwater]

[sweetsugarwater]

[sweetsugarwater]

[sweetsugarwater]

[sweetsugarwater]

my sickness

has gotten worse

i'm afraid.

it is all

that consumes my thoughts,

both waking and in my dreams

and i fear that

it is well passed looking

for a cure.

i've always been told

that i am prone to

sickness,

though i did not

believe this was the kind of

of sickness they spoke of.

[sweetsugarwater]

i require

reassurance

on so many things,

things that i feel

you are not willing to

give to me.

i am beside myself

with grief

for something

that has yet to begin.

i am embarrassed

to say

that i am ashamed oftentimes

of the things i feel,

because i'm not sure

you feel the same.

maybe that's where

some of my anger

towards you lies.

- in the unknown

[sweetsugarwater]

i am nary a fool

when it comes to

anything but

you.

leaving my heart open

i tear down the walls

and the locked up gates

allowing myself to

feel fully

knowing full well

if the consequences

it may carry along

with it.

my emotions

have been in turmoil

and i'm afraid i

have lost all control of them.

they may do as they please,

for i'm sure no say

that i may give

to persuade them

to grow otherwise

won't make way

to what little brain

they may have.

- l.r.r.

[sweetsugarwater]

i believe

there is more cause

for concern

in regards to

myself

than people

initially believe.

i pretty myself up

and wear a smile

in order to play

the role i've been given.

i am growing tired

of standing alone,

center stage,

with eyes on me at

all times

ready to tell me

i'm not prepared

for what's off stage.

- l.r.r.

[sweetsugarwater]

ripping pages

covered in ink colored tears

that i have portrayed

as art

shall perhaps finally

mend the broken pieces

that i portray

as myself

[sweetsugarwater]

as my thoughts,

consumed by the

scent of you,

try to clear

i am left

feeling a bit empty

waiting for the

feelings i have

to be seen.

little am i

known to be

in control of

my own feelings,

though i am

also thought of

being too in control

of them as well,

yet i wonder

if caring for you

is equally a choice,

a privilege,

and a curse

i cannot seem to break.

- l.r.r.

[sweetsugarwater]

the blade

carefully held

between my teeth,

close enough to

cut me if i

try to use

sharp words

to cut someone else.

this blade

i've had for a long

long time,

long enough that

i don't remember

a time where

i didn't have it.

unfortunately,

this blade doesn't just

prevent the sharp words

but the witty ones,

the confident ones,

the ones that i wish

to say.

instead, all i have

are careful words.

words that i slowly let out

through gritted teeth

holding that blade

ever so carefully

to prevent any blood

from spilling out

of my mouth

for i so hate

the taste of

iron.

[sweetsugarwater]

the difficulty

i am forced

to live through

every single day

seems like nothing

to those looking in.

i'm sure those

who are ignorant

to everything but

their own mind

find it so easy

to judge and

determine other's

supposed qualities

as if they're

their own dolls

ready to be given

a story that's

not their own