swimmingenthusiasty - Tumblr blog

[swimmingenthusiasty]

I've looked at muscle since i was 15 and tried to imagine how it happens to a body. The guys I was trying to live up to at the time were 18. They weren't just three-years-ahead.

Who should I have been looking at?

And i'm still looking at them,

Who should i be looking at now not just then?

Who were they looking at, they weren't looking at themselves like I was looking at them?

What is there to it. You place a load on it so it can learn to carry.

And what is there to him. He wants you to carry some of it so can do his bit.

Goodnight dad.

[swimmingenthusiasty]

[swimmingenthusiasty]

Look how important it was not to walk into that hospital. And then she was crying in the car.

Look how important it was to think of no one. Before that i couldn't get nights taken from me.

Dont touch the it. Look how important it was which water to touch.

Ew you touched it you needed medicine. The real kind.

It was also probably really important to work this year and to marry and name change the last.

Need to believe in order to have own will

[swimmingenthusiasty]

[swimmingenthusiasty]

On Unfulfilled Expectations, Stagnation and Missed Opportunities.

[swimmingenthusiasty]

List of 120 unique fantasy jobs to give to your fantasy characters. Writers save this!

1. Spellscribe: Weaves magic into ink, creating enchanted scrolls and spellbooks.

2. Dreamweaver: Shapes dreams, ensuring a peaceful slumber for all.

3. Star Cartographer: Maps constellations and celestial paths.

4. Potion Alchemist: Brews elixirs, love potions, and invisibility brews.

5. Whispering Wind Courier: Carries messages on ethereal zephyrs.

6. Crystal Harmonist: Plays melodies on gemstone xylophones.

7. Arcane Librarian: Guards forbidden tomes and ancient grimoires.

8. Stormcaller: Commands lightning and tempests.

9. Shadow Weaver: Manipulates shadows for stealth or illusion.

10. Fey Ambassador: Bridges the gap between humans and fae.

11. Time Tinkerer: Repairs temporal rifts and broken clocks.

12. Soul Gardener: Tends to souls in the afterlife.

13. Dragon Whisperer: Communicates with fire-breathing beasts.

14. Labyrinth Architect: Designs mazes with shifting walls.

15. Aetheronaut: Pilots airships through the skies.

16. Cauldron Chef: Cooks magical stews and enchanted pastries.

17. Goblin Negotiator: Haggles with mischievous goblins over stolen treasures.

18. Wisp Shepherd: Herds glowing wisps across moonlit meadows.

19. Constellation Painter: Dips brushes in stardust to create cosmic art.

20. Swordsmith of Destiny: Forges blades with prophetic properties.

21. Oracle of Riddles: Answers questions through cryptic puzzles.

22. Moss Whisperer: Encourages moss-covered stones to share their secrets.

23. Harvest Moon Dancer: Leads celestial dances during lunar eclipses.

24. Chimera Veterinarian: Cares for mythical hybrid creatures.

25. Lore Bard: Sings epic sagas of forgotten heroes.

26. Stardust Prospector: Mines cosmic minerals from fallen meteors.

27. Mistwalker: Guides lost souls through foggy moors.

28. Enchanted Cobbler: Crafts shoes that grant extraordinary abilities.

29. Celestial Clockmaker: Constructs timepieces powered by starlight.

30. Gargoyle Sculptor: Carves stone guardians with hidden sentience.

31. Wandmaker: Whittles wands from ancient tree branches.

32. Mermaid Translator: Deciphers underwater songs and sea whispers.

33. Nightshade Apothecary: Harvests moonflowers and midnight herbs.

34. Serpent Charmer: Mesmerizes serpents with haunting melodies.

35. Skyship Navigator: Charts courses through floating islands.

36. Frostfire Sculptor: Shapes ice and flame into ephemeral statues.

37. Cursed Cursebreaker: Lifts hexes and breaks enchantments.

38. Goblin Archaeologist: Digs up lost goblin civilizations.

39. Sylph Perfumer: Captures the essence of zephyrs in fragrances.

40. Mystic Cartographer: Maps hidden ley lines and magical nexuses.

41. Moonstone Miner: Extracts shards of moonlight from caverns.

42. Gryphon Trainer: Raises and trains majestic gryphons.

43. Candlemaker of Lost Hopes: Creates candles that reveal forgotten memories.

44. Starwhisper Cartographer: Maps cosmic phenomena—comets' paths, shooting star trails, and celestial alignments.

45. Gloomsmith: Crafts melancholic artifacts—music boxes that play haunting melodies, mirrors that reflect lost loves, and inkwells that pen tear-stained poetry.

46. Siren Songstress: Sings enchanting melodies by moonlit shores, luring sailors toward rocky fates or guiding them safely through treacherous waters.

47. Astral Weaver: Spins threads from stardust, creating cloaks that grant glimpses of alternate realities or tapestries that depict forgotten legends.

48. Cryptobotanist: Studies otherworldly flora—glow-in-the-dark mushrooms, singing vines, and moonblossoms that bloom only during eclipses.

49. Soothsayer: Reads the future in tea leaves, cloud formations, or the patterns of fireflies. Their predictions shape destinies.

50. Stormglass Sculptor: Carves intricate sculptures from stormglass—frozen lightning, raindrop chandeliers, and thunderstorm dioramas.

51. Wispkeeper: Tends to wisps—tiny, glowing spirits that flit through forests. They bottle wisp-light for healing potions.

52. Eidolon Portraitist: Paints portraits of ghosts, capturing their essence before they fade into oblivion.

53. Moss Oracle: Listens to moss-covered stones, deciphering their murmurs to reveal lost histories.

54. Labyrinth Minstrel: Wanders through shifting mazes, singing songs that guide lost travelers to safety.

55. Frostbite Healer: Extracts shards of moonlight from caverns.

56. Gryphon Trainer: Raises and trains majestic gryphons.

57. Candlemaker of Lost Hopes: Creates candles that reveal forgotten memories.

58. Starwhisper Cartographer: Maps cosmic phenomena—comets’ paths, shooting star trails, and celestial alignments. Their charts guide explorers to hidden constellations.

59. Gloomsmith: Crafts melancholic artifacts—music boxes that play haunting melodies, mirrors that reflect lost loves, and inkwells that pen tear-stained poetry.

60. Siren Songstress: Sings enchanting melodies by moonlit shores, luring sailors toward rocky fates or guiding them safely through treacherous waters.

61. Astral Weaver: Spins threads from stardust, creating cloaks that grant glimpses of alternate realities or tapestries that depict forgotten legends.

62. Cryptobotanist: Studies otherworldly flora—glow-in-the-dark mushrooms, singing vines, and moonblossoms that bloom only during eclipses.

63. Soothsayer: Reads the future in tea leaves, cloud formations, or the patterns of fireflies. Their predictions shape destinies.

64. Stormglass Sculptor: Carves intricate sculptures from stormglass—frozen lightning, raindrop chandeliers, and thunderstorm dioramas.

65. Wispkeeper: Tends to wisps—tiny, glowing spirits that flit through forests. They bottle wisp-light for healing potions.

66. Eidolon Portraitist: Paints portraits of ghosts, capturing their essence before they fade into oblivion.

67. Moss Oracle: Listens to moss-covered stones, deciphering their murmurs to reveal lost histories.

68. Labyrinth Minstrel: Wanders through shifting mazes, singing songs that guide lost travelers to safety.

69. Frostbite Healer: Treats frostbitten extremities with salves made from frost sprites’ tears.

70. Chalice Enchanter: Carves runes into crystal goblets, infusing each sip with memories or emotions.

71. Goblin Archaeologist: Digs up lost goblin civilizations, unearthing rusty gadgets and cryptic hieroglyphs.

72. Sylph Perfumer: Captures the essence of zephyrs in fragrances—dawn mist, thunderstorm ozone, and moonrise musk.

73. Mystic Cartographer: Maps hidden ley lines and magical nexuses. Their charts reveal portals and ley-gates.

74. Moonstone Miner: Extracts shards of moonlight from caverns, which can be used for enchantments or as lantern fuel.

75. Gryphon Trainer: Raises and trains majestic gryphons for aerial patrols or epic quests.

76. Candlemaker of Whispers: Crafts candles that flicker with spectral flames, allowing communication with the departed.

77. Stardust Prospector: Mines cosmic minerals from fallen meteors—star iron, comet opals, and nebula gems.

78. Golem Animator: Breathes life into clay and stone constructs, imbuing them with purpose.

79. Wraith Whisperer: Communicates with restless spirits, negotiating unfinished business.

80. Celestial Navigator: Guides ships by star charts, steering vessels through astral currents.

81. Chaos Theorist: Predicts chaotic events using butterfly-wing equations, preventing or exploiting chaos.

82. Fairy Ring Dancer: Enters mystical circles to converse with fairies, striking bargains or seeking wisdom.

83. Banshee Lullaby Singer: Soothes grieving souls with haunting songs, easing their passage to the beyond.

84. Goblin Diplomat: Negotiates peace treaties between realms, balancing goblin mischief and human interests.

85. Veilwalker: Steps between dimensions using shimmering veils, exploring parallel worlds.

86. Moonshard Weaver: Threads moonstone shards into cloaks that grant moonwalking abilities.

87. Gryphon Whisperer: Communicates with gryphons through empathic bonds.

88. Cursed Curator: Collects cursed artifacts, safeguarding them in hidden vaults.

89. Sphinx Riddler: Poses enigmas to travelers seeking wisdom, granting answers in exchange for riddles.

90. Bard of Echoes: Sings songs that echo through time, preserving forgotten tales.

91. Goblin Inventor: Constructs whimsical gadgets—umbrellas that predict rain, shoes that dance, and hats that translate squirrel chatter.

92. Serpent Astronomer: Studies cosmic serpents—constellations that writhe across the sky.

93. Wisp Choreographer: Stages ethereal dances in moonlit glades, captivating forest creatures.

94. Lorekeeper of Lost Languages: Deciphers ancient scripts, unlocking forbidden knowledge.

95. Mistral Cartographer: Maps winds—trade winds, storm fronts, and zephyr currents.

96. Harbinger of Eclipses: Predicts solar and lunar eclipses, foretelling cosmic shifts.

97. Grimoire Illuminator: Adds luminescent runes to spellbooks, making incantations glow.

98. Nymph Whisperer: Listens to water nymphs’ laughter, translating it into healing melodies.

99. Celestial Harvester: Gathers stardust for celestial events—meteor showers, comet arrivals.

100. Goblin Mechanomancer: Constructs clockwork creatures—mechanical squirrels, steam-powered beetles.

101. Sylph Skyweaver: Spins cloud silk into airy garments that grant flight.

102. Oracle of Shifting Sands: Reads desert dunes, predicting sandstorms and mirages.

103. Moonmoth Keeper: Tends to moonmoths—luminous insects that guide lost travelers.

104. Gryphon Herald: Announces royal decrees from the backs of majestic gryphons.

105. Cauldron Seer: Gazes into bubbling cauldrons, glimpsing past, present, and future.

106. Whisperwood Arborist: Nurtures ancient trees that whisper forgotten secrets.

107. Stardust Cartographer: Maps cosmic phenomena—supernovae, black holes, and quasars.

108. Goblin Clockmaker: Constructs timepieces with peculiar quirks—watches that run backward, hourglasses that pause.

109. Sphinx Scholar: Studies riddles, deciphering their hidden meanings.

110. Wisp Guardian: Protects sacred wisps from curious wanderers.

111.Labyrinth Keeper: Guards labyrinth entrances, ensuring only worthy seekers enter.

112. Frostfire Forger: Crafts weapons that blaze with icy flames.

113. Goblin Meteorologist: Predicts weather using enchanted barometers and cloud crystals.

114. Sylph Windwhisperer: Converses with gusts, learning their secrets.

115. Dreamcatcher Artisan: Weaves dreamcatchers that trap nightmares and release sweet dreams.

116. Celestial Herald: Announces cosmic events—comets, eclipses, and planetary alignments.

117. Grimoire Binder: Assembles spellbooks, binding them with dragonhide and phoenix feathers.

118. Nymph Songkeeper: Records water nymphs’ melodies, preserving them in enchanted shells.

119. Goblin Tinkerer: Repairs broken gadgets—flying broomsticks, talking teapots.

120. Starforged Smith: Hammers star fragments into celestial armor and swords.

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[swimmingenthusiasty]

Have to stay. Can't leave the house empty.

[swimmingenthusiasty]

This is my whole thing. I really haven't given up on that. Yeah I know better. I know what to stay away from, but staying away is not giving up, that's what I'm trying to say. A lot of what happened came as a surprise. I don't identify as much with what I have. I don't feel anything for what isn't there, really. I'm just getting by. But I don't go after the same stuff, because I know better. If I still had em, I wouldn't get to know better. It's not a loss.

never gonna have a “prime” I’m just gonna get better every year until i die

[swimmingenthusiasty]

Most memories are just lessons. Because you either live it and it's not a memory, or you experienced failure. Nothing teaches you like a fail. Why should a lesson be hurting me.

“Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they’re also what tear you apart.”

— Haruki Murakami

[swimmingenthusiasty]

VII OF SWORDS | buy a print of this here

[swimmingenthusiasty]

Don't appear in calls please.

If someone pulls out the video call, go out for a walk or something similar.

That last call was particularly effective on pooloos

[swimmingenthusiasty]

Passing judgment on myself.

What are you going to do today? Nothing.

Do you have many people? Nope.

I already asked myself the same questions and then felt negative emotions regarding the answer.

What would I do if I met me? I would probably pass judgment. Think he wasted the day.

I project that, think that you're thinking it of me too. So I try to prove myself, prove that I'm not wasting the moment. At least, not your moment. Mine is my own business, but I won't waste yours. So I explain myself and bring out my 'infos' and colorful opinions and end up passing more judgment on whatever is the subject.

I think if I say the answers, if I say 'nothing'. You'll get up like a startled and outraged parent. I think you'll maybe do something in contempt. Because frankly, that's what I would do. That's what I already do. To myself first, but I also project that onto you if you make me the subject. I become afraid of you because I'm afraid of me. I'm afraid of what I might do to me. Self-destructive behavior is a part of everyone's life. But in my case, it's over what? Saying I'm doing nothing. The idea that life can be wasted seems perverse. If karmic cycles are infinite, if the moon can eat as often as can be eaten. If there's only good and the sun will shine on and you'll beam into infinite Edens... but why's it got to take that. That or maturity and knowing yourself, knowing your worth, being prepared to leave to be content with the answer of nothing? I think it's still escape. I think it's still -inspite- of nothing. I think it still comes from a place of judgment. Not heartfelt. More infos, more chatGPT generated response to nothing. More judgment underneath. But what's aside from that? You're still here. It's still nothing.

[swimmingenthusiasty]

If you make their recepies, you'll have em in you. If you wear their designs, you'll have em in you.

Then you'll probably see them and they'll say something.

[swimmingenthusiasty]

09. 444567 10. 322485 11. 444448

12. 545466

[swimmingenthusiasty]

[swimmingenthusiasty]

Good dreams. Feeling so happy.

First reaction was to question it.

Then tried to explain myself.

Then I looked for what I did yesterday.

Then I wondered at what's coming today.

The gaps are because in between each I told myself to just have it and be quiet lol

Like it's something to get away with for me. Like I'm sneaking some.