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Fill for the Guardian Red Pocket Prompt Fest 2023!

立冬 Lidong (Beginning of Winter) - REST

basically what if Shen Wei didn't leave after That Talk™ in episode 23

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Anyone: *is watching Leverage for the first time*

Me: have you heard about watch order? Do you know the watch order? Hey. Hey. Are you aware that season one is out of order and requires a specific watching order. Hey. Hey. Hey. Have I told you about watch order yet?

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Basic trouble shooting for people who aren't mechanics and have no interest in becoming one:

1. Does it have a spiny part that's not spinning, or isn't spinning the way it's supposed to? Look at it- is there anything stringy wound around the spiny part? Remove it. Applies to: vacuums, aquarium filters, blenders, and rototillers, weed eaters, and lawn mowers.

1.b Is there debris from the spiny part that is building up on an nearby surface? Remove it. Applies to: vacuums, lawnmowers, probably other things.

2. Does it have a part that air, water, or other materials move through? Look at it- is there a clog, even a small or flimsy looking one? Remove it. Applies to: lawnmowers, vacuums, pumps, probably more.

3. If it has a gas engine, does it have gas? The right kind of gas? Does it have oil? If it's electric, is it plugged in? Or is it's battery charged?

4. Does it have a filter? Is the filter dirty/clogged? Clean it. Applies to vacuums, pumps, and some small engines.

5. Is it electric? Is there a safety feature where it won't work unless a certain peice is in place? Is there something keeping it from popping up or into place? Remove it. Did a small plastic peice break off? Can you super glue it back on in a safe manner?

6. Are there fluid tanks? Do they have fluid levels between the empty and full marks?

7. Are there tubes and/or wires? Are they all attached and going where they're supposed to? If it has spark plugs, are they all where they're supposed to be? If it has belts, are they taut?

8. Are there bolts and nuts? Screws? Are they all where they're supposed to be?

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SOOOOO funny when you’re having a strong emotion and your logical brain KNOWS you’re overreacting but you literally can’t do anything about it.

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you bottle Miette??

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This is why fat shaming can have tragic consequences.

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The thing neurotypicals tend not to understand about the ADHD brain is that it really only has two gears

I turn to the chalkboard and carefully write out

WORKIN' HARD

HARDLY WORKIN'

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I find it funny when queer fantasy stories are written in a setting where homophobia doesn't exist, but there's a ~forbidden romance~ element coming from some completely different, fantastical prejudice. Like

"Son, I don't care if you suck dick, but no child of mine will be sharing a bed with a goddamn necromancer!"

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I swear to fucking god. I would claw out OneDrive from my computer if I could. I would burn down their servers if I could. I would run down their stocks to the ground if I could. I hope every single one of their workers gets a better offer from a competitor in the next 24 hours. I hope every single one of their light bulbs explodes at the same time. I hope every single carton of milk in their fridge will always be expired.

Stop backing up my fucking files.

Stop asking me to back up my fucking files.

Stop taking my fucking files off my fucking computer.

I don't want a fucking reminder in three fucking days. Let me fucking say no.

Fuckers.

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For all of the northerners that stood up for Texas during our freeze and said, "Don't make fun of them, they've never dealt with this before. Their infrastructure isn't made for snow and freezing."

This one is for you.

Where I live 108°F with 80% humidity with no wind is normal.

Pacific North West is dealing historic best waves 35-40°C or 95-105°F.

First of all. Don't make fun of them for bitching about the heat. Just like Texas isn't built for a freeze and our pipes burst, Pacific North West isn't built for heat and a lot of their homes don't have AC.

If you live somewhere with a high humidity like 80+ HUMIDITY IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. The "humidity makes it feel cooler" is a lie once it gets beyond a point.

If you live somewhere with a lower humidity, misters are nice to cool off outside.

Once you get over 90°F (32°C) a fan will not help you. It's just pushing around hot air. (I mean if you can't afford a small AC unit because they're expensive as hell, by all means a fan is better than nothing).

If you have pets, those portable AC units aren't safe. If your pets destroy the outtake thing, it'll leak CO2. Window units are safer.

Window AC units will let mosquitoes or other small bugs in. Sucks, but that's life.

Now is not the time to me modest. If you have to cover for religious reasons, by all means. If you don't, I've seen people wear short shorts and a swim top. It's not trashy if it keeps you from getting heat stroke.

If you do have to cover up for religious reasons, look for elephant pants or something similar. They're made with a breathable material.

Shade is better than no shade, but that shit it just diet sun after some point. Don't think shade will save you from heat stroke.

I know the "drink your water" is a fun meme now, but if you're sweating excessively you need electrolytes. Drink Gatorade, Powerade, or Pedialite PLEASE. I don't care if you're fucking sitting in one spot all day. That shit WILL save you from heat stroke.

Most importantly. RESEARCH THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEAT STROKE AND HEAT EXHAUSTION PLEASE!

If you're diabetic and can't drink Gatorade, mix water, fruit juice, and either lite salt or pink salt

If you can afford it, cover windows with thick curtains to insulate the house

If you have tile floors, lay on them with skin to tile contact. If you don't, laying your head on cool counters works too.

If the temperature where you're at is hotter than your body temperature, don't wear heat wicking clothing. Moisture wicking is safe though.

Check your medication labels. Many make you more susceptible to sun and heat

-Room temperature water will get into your body faster. This is something I learned doing marching band in high summer in Georgia, and it saved all of our asses. Sip it, don't gulp it, especially if you're getting into the red; same goes for whatever fluid you're drinking. And just in general drink during the day.

-If you are moving from an air conditioned space to an un-air conditioned space, if at all possible try to make the shift gradual. When my dad and I were working outside and in un-ac houses a few years ago, he'd turn the air down to low in the truck about ten-fifteen minutes before we got where we were going. This way your body doesn't go from low low temps to high temps. S'bad for you.

-If you can, keep your lights off during the day. Light bulbs may not generate a lot of heat, but the difference is noticeable when it gets hot enough. I literally only turn my bedroom light on in the evening when it gets too dark.

Don't be afraid to just like... pour water on yourself if you need to. The evaporation will cool you off.

Put your hand to the cement for 15 seconds. If you can't handle the heat, it'll burn your dog's paws. Don't let them walk on it.

Dogs with flat faces are more prone to heat stroke. Don't leave them out unsupervised.

Frozen fruit is delicious in water.

Wet/Cold hat/handkerchief on your head/neck will help you stay cool.

Pickle juice is great for electrolytes! You can even make pickle juice Popsicles!

Heat exhaustion is more, "drink water and get you cooled off." Heat stroke is more "Oh my god call 911."

Image Description provided by @loveize

[Image description: an infographic showing the difference between heat exhaustion and heat stroke. The graphic is labeled "Heat Dangers: First Warning." Signs of heat exhaustion: faint or dizzy, excessive sweating, cool, pale, clammy skin, rapid, weak pulse, muscle cramps. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat exhaustion, get to a cool, air-conditioned place, drink water if conscious, and take a cool shower or use cold compress. Signs of heat stroke: throbbing headache, no sweating, red, hot, dry skin, rapid, strong pulse, may lose consciousness. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat stroke, call 911. End description]

Be safe.

-fae

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“You don’t get it!” I scream being dragged away “ they were BOTH captive princes !!” They lock me away to scream at the wall. 😭😭😭😂😂 I spent entirely too much time rendering them that the thought of doing a background made me want to collapse so this is all y’all get lol . I’m currently rereading ‘ The princes gambit’ it’s just as great as I remember 😍😭

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Me: Exercise does not cause weight loss. This is a fact that has been demonstrated so robustly in research that even doctors, who hate and fear evidence, are grudgingly starting to admit this.

Someone reading that post: Cool, but have you considered that exercise leads to weight loss?

Me: I am going to eat you