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sometimes the heart's like !!!!!!!! and there's nothing you can do about it

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Sorry if you hear cowboy noises coming from my room I’m practicing being a cowboy

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I’ve come to inform you all the Ancient Greeks spelled Thoth, the Egyptian deity, as Θώθ

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Capricorn sun, Capricorn moon and Scorpio rising-

~classy, ambitious, realistic~

requested by @fres4laundry 

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it's so stupid, adhd is a dozen vaguely related neuroses in a trench coat, including such popular hits as

Can't Fucking Sleep Disorder

Can't Fucking Wake Up Disorder

What Is A Focus

Oops I Did It* Again (*Spent Thirteen Hours On Youtube And Forgot To Eat Or Drink)

The World Is Too Noise Today

All My Friends Hate Me (I Deduced This From A Three Word Text)

I Forgot About [thing] Literally As Soon As I Turned Around

...and they decided to call it Trouble Sitting Still Disorder?????

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my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting

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@ songs that make me feel both slutty and powerful, thank you

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dude, c'mon, join the hive mind already

dude, c'mon, join the hive mind already

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your demon name is whatever happens whn u type ur name with your chin. mine is rfryctk

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depression tips™

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.

cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.

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i had a dream i went to nintendo and they revealed to me that all this time the real pokemon designer was this Russian guy named Vladimir Pokemondesigner and i asked him why he named jigglypuff that and he said “is puff. is jiggly. are you a jokester?” and crushed my head like an empty soda can

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it’s dark

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I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

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look. i am not a complicated person. i want one thing.

in the hit 2017 action superhero flick “Thor Ragnarok” (dir. Taika Waititi), we see the Hulk’s ass in full majesty, but we are robbed of seeing the whole kit and kaboodle; the snake of destiny; the Incredible Bulk; his big ole Bruce Spanner hanging Mark Rough & Low.

this is, of course, because it is a pg-13 film and the MCU is yet to commit to even a ‘fuck’ (which every pg-13 film can drop exactly one time). this worries me.

i think it will be an injustice if we cannot see Hulk’s fantastic megafauna at some point in the MCU canon, but i think Marvel is too cowardly to commit in the near future, and Mark Ruffalo has been in the MCU since 2012. i’m deeply afraid his contract will run out long before Disney has the balls to show us Hulk’s.

one can only hope.