sysbullshit

[sysbullshit]

Currently talking to my psychiatrist. He thinks I might have schizoaffective or schizophrenia. Haven't decided which one fits the best yet. Still. I'm dreading the fact that I will have to spend the rest of my life avoiding addiction. Psychosis is a mother fucker. How the fuck do I navigate spaces without falling into addiction when society actively enables it? Mostly just irritated that I have to very carefully choose friends now. Can't even smoke weed. I know ultimately I'll be better off but I'm a little frustrated. Sober for me I guess. Quite literally cannot consume any drug without getting addicted.

Gets a little more complicated when also you consider, how some system members formed with very addictive habits. God. I know life will only get better but I'm scared.

[sysbullshit]

seeing transphobes on tumblr is insane. Brother you are blogging on the trans gay sex website

[sysbullshit]

hrrnng i just HATE hatehatehate being told we're invalid bc we have system collapses / because we're very private with our ptsd and keep it to ourselves / neither the ptsd nor osdd-1 were diagnosed. leave me alone, i can only afford testing when the school pays for it and they're not gonna pay for ptsd testing! i don't WANT to be diagnosed with osdd-1, it would wreck my fucking life! leave me alone! you don't need to know about my paranoia and hallucinations to make my disorders real.

☘️

[sysbullshit]

[sysbullshit]

Fuck personality tests. Who comes to your mind when I say "Michael"

[sysbullshit]

i like this post so much i made it into a comic

[sysbullshit]

it's weird as hell not being an active fronter. last i fronted for a long time consistently was May. it's now September. fuck. i left some apologize unsaid so i have to do that. kaz is Jewish now. that's new. Lorenzo is still in front so that consistency is comforting at least. now my only question is do I have to keep up with his traditions? bc Ik jewish people fast and do things on certain holidays.

-mack (he/him)

[sysbullshit]

[sysbullshit]

To the people that like to come in my posts and say "not everything is about racism" especially on my posts about how sexism, classism, abelism, fatphobia, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, etc is rooted in racism.

Yes.

Literally everything is rooted in racism.

First thing that comes to mind.

The Walking Dead.

TV show about a zombie apocalypse.

Zombies.

Zombies are actually a part of Voodoo, Black American spirituality, used to symbolize the horrors of Haitian slavery.

And in Voodoo zombies aren't always evil. They can be reanimated for the wrong reasons, but for voodoo workers that respect the dead they're actually reanimated to perform tasks, and some people believe that's for the better as not every spirit wants to rest for eternity

(Please watch this video. It took like 20 minutes to find a Black voodoo priestess talking about this topic as 99.99% of the articles are written by white men pretending like voodoo is a dead practice.)

And the reframing of zombies to be flesh eating monsters it actually rooted in racism in an attempt to frame Black people as these archetypes.

So yeah. Everything is rooted in racism. Even your favorite TV shows like The Walking Dead can be traced back to racist origins.

-fae

[sysbullshit]

To myself, raised in an environment that glorified and romanticized restriction and suffering:

There is no victory in skipping dinner, or lunch, or breakfast, or morning coffee, or dessert.

There is no victory in refusing heaters and air conditioners and fans and heated blankets.

There is no victory in denying yourself sleep, or showers, or movement, or water, or a comfortable bed, or taking the elevator vs. the stairs.

There is no victory in refusing pain meds and heating pads and ice packs and medical help.

There is no victory in punishing yourself needlessly, in telling yourself that this pain you feel is because you are bad to the core and deserve it.

There is no victory in choking back your laughter and your tears, to keep an imagined equilibrium of safety that is really just a dry, cracked, empty, endless emotional desert.

You are here. You are in this body, and this body is yours. You deserve good things. You are alive, and that is messy and loud, and messy and loud are okay.

It’s okay to live abundantly. It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to indulge. This paralysis of self-punishment, self-restriction, self-loathing is not healthy or good for you.

[sysbullshit]

I want more positivity in the plural community

I want to share the joy of fronting hand in hand with my best friend

I want stories of wild adventures had in the innerworld

I want to see love letters written for beloved headmates

I want stories of long lost sourcemates finding each other

I want to see systems who view themselves as family

I want to hear of systems using their dissociative barriers to surprise each other

I want syskids who brighten their whole system’s day

I want protectors who love their headmates fiercely

I want prosecutors who are loved for their efforts to keep their headmates safe

I want to see headmates playing silly games

I want to hear of dances and parties in headspace

….and so, so much more

I want every type of plural joy and love and magic to be spoken of, not overshadowed by all the discourse and trauma and hurt. I want a community where plural joy is just as valued as every other system experience.

-Fae

[sysbullshit]

Endogenic Disordered Plural flag

A flag for disordered endogenic plurals! This includes:

Mixed origin disordered systems who are partially endogenic

Systems that formed before developing a system-forming disorder (such as systems who've been there since birth)

Disordered systems who no longer have headmates formed due to their disorder (eg. the only remaining headmates are created)

Disordered systems who never had traumagenic headmates because their system-forming disorder isn't trauma-exclusive

and many more experiences!

[sysbullshit]

why don't straights understand that the sweet considerateness and tenderness of a first kiss starting with "can I kiss you?" far outweighs the 'passion' of someone just doing it without asking

[sysbullshit]

[sysbullshit]

Who else never really learned emotional regulation as a child and now has to learn it as an adult? 🐸 Even just naming the feeling out loud can help me to feel better.

[sysbullshit]

disabled person 1: i'm not a child. don't treat me like a child.

disabled person 2: but being a child is not an insult! children should be treated. better

they're both right. children should be treated better and given more respect and autonomy. but disabled adults are not children, and even in a world where children were treated perfectly, it would not be ok to treat a disabled adult like a child.

it should not be a surprise when a disabled adult wants to drink alcohol, or have sex, or say "fuck," or watch r rated movies. disabled adults are adults, even if our needs are higher than neurotypical and ablebodied adults.

[sysbullshit]

Endogenic systems who later gained traumagenic headmates are valid.

Traumagenic systems who later gained endogenic headmates are valid.

Any mixed origin system is valid.