syscourse-confessions

[syscourse-confessions]

You know it's the craziest thing about me, that at the end of the day, no matter what, I always deal with systems that suffered from RAMCOA/Programming and I simply can't stop asking myself… What should I do?… I don't know what to do. and sometimes it scares me… I should look for an answer to everything related (going to therapy focused on the trauma / a long time later) or let it go and say "Mh, curious…"

-💔

💔 - Advice/Support needed

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[syscourse-confessions]

I'm really glad I blocked the syscourse tag, because removing myself from this space has made me realize that triggering myself isn't fun, and that a lot of syscourse is really boring and not worth discussing. I still want to know drama, because I'm petty, but people rehashing the same stuff makes me roll my eyes. Every popular syscourser I've seen, besides some niche ones, really just either forgive everyone around them or have it out for everyone around them, and both extremes are not worth my time. And I'm finding it less and less worth it to interact with any of these people. So, if you want out, do it for your own sake. Don't trigger yourself just cause you're bored. And turn off anonymous asks if you don't want to get any haters in your dms. Syscourse is painful and boring, just get out while you can.

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information.

[syscourse-confessions]

Medically inaccurate DID rep that gets the emotional truth correct > medically accurate DID that doesn’t resonate

Like obviously both is best but let’s be realistic here💀

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[syscourse-confessions]

What's the whole deal with people ID'ing as 'transplural'? If someone felt like they wanted to be/"should be" plural, why not just...pursue one of the many possible ways of intentionally becoming a system, and then use that label? If "trans" as a prefix refers to "other than what was initially assigned to a person by society", uh...very few people are 'assigned plural by society', so even trying to apply that whole idea of cis vs trans to plurality seems very....weird to me, tbh. - can't remember the emoji but Replies Encouraged

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information.

[syscourse-confessions]

I hate origin discourse when it comes to terms. I love a lot of the animal-kid terms, but a lot of them are coined to be anti-endo?

I'm a syskid and I hold trauma related to neglect, others hold trauma related to isolation, there's a couple from things related to death or near death experiences. why are we being denied those terms and comfort in a label because of some discourse? literally just because our system formed before trauma occurred?

it feels a lot like it's just denying our trauma or saying it's "not that bad" because of some timeline of events that go against the norm.

then you get into anti-endos trying to "reclaim" the terms to make it even worse. I can't even try to coin my own terms because they're so prolific, like so what if I want to call myself a "jackalkid" because the metaphor feels connected to my trauma, but I can't because someone decided my trauma isn't good enough?

like feels so ableist to survivors but they're just too caught up in their "ew endos" mindset to consider that.

(tempted to just steal the terms honestly. like who the hell are you to be gatekeeping trauma?)

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information.

[syscourse-confessions]

Seeing anti-endos saying anything positive or seeming like okay people is always... An interesting experience... Because you believe that a whole group of people which... consists of hundreds... Just doesn't exist or are ablest for existing... Like how you pretending to not be that guy rn

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information.

[syscourse-confessions]

sysmeds do more harm than good

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information.

[syscourse-confessions]

(syscourse replies encouraged emoji here)

i dont understand anti-endos. a lot of their arguments include the fact that OSDDID are trauma based disorders, but endos are not claiming to have OSDDID? they simply have the experience of being plural.

it usually boils down to “my experience is different because of trauma and your experience cannot be similar in any form without trauma as well” which ignores the fact that people experience the world and themselves in many different and complex ways.

i also find that many anti endos just. wont believe that someone can have a life experience that is different than others. why is it so hard to believe that someone could just.. be a system? without trauma?

anyways, i’ve started identifying as “fuck you”-genic because of all the anti endos that follow me for being traumagenic

📬- Syscourse replies encouraged

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information.

[syscourse-confessions]

"anti endos dont give our sources!! they just say 'nuh-uh'!" ok then: https://www.mcleanhospital.org/essential/did#:~:text=Once%20referred%20to%20as%20multiple,portrayed%20incorrectly%20in%20popular%20media

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/dissociative-identity-disorder/dissociative-identity-disorder-causes

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dissociative-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20355215

https://www.rethink.org/advice-and-information/about-mental-illness/learn-more-about-conditions/dissociation-and-dissociative-identity-disorder-did/

https://did-research.org/origin/

https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/facts-and-guides/dissociative-identity-disorder

https://namimi.org/mental-illness/dissociative-disorder/didfactsheet

https://thepsychpractice.com/plog/dissociative-identity-disorder

https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Dissociative-Disorders

fuckin' idiots the lot of them!! we *do* give out sources and *you* are the ones who say 'nuh-uh!" and link some rancid ass tumblr post / carrd / rentry / twitter thread that backs up your misinformation. if you actually DID RESEARCH and LISTENED TO US you would KNOW that medical research SHOWS that DID is ONLY FORMED through childhood trauma! maybe get off of fucking tumblr once in a while and do an hour - minimum - of research of this LIFE ALTERING DEBILITATING DISORDER THAT YOU WANT TO HAVE BECAUSE "uwu head friends!" and MAYBE STOP STEALING SHIT FROM BUDDHIST CULTURE YOU FREAKS?

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information.

[syscourse-confessions]

You can’t have schizophrenia and DID at the same time, you’re professionally diagnosed? I don’t care, misdiagnosis exist. Or you have voices in your head because of schizophrenia and other symptoms of it, or DID OSDD with OTHER symptoms of it, or you’re Endogenic, if you don’t have symptoms of one of these two disorders. It doesn’t make sense to have a symptom twice, it’s caused by one or the another. People can get how much mad with as they want, that’s my view.

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[syscourse-confessions]

“wahhh wahhhh waahhhhh system spaces don’t like me 🥺🥺🥺😞😞😞 im the victim u guys for faking a life altering disorder and actively spreading misinformation” i wonder why system spaces don’t like you.

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information.

[syscourse-confessions]

ableists in syscourse shut the fuck up and rot challenge.

i hate ableists so much

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information.

[syscourse-confessions]

number names are actually cool and they allow ramcoa survivors to not be singled out as a survivor who may be very vulnerable just for an alters name

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information. More info here: https://www.tumblr.com/syscourse-confessions/728819621058232320/disclaimer-treat-posts-here-like-you-would-any

[syscourse-confessions]

we're questioning the nature of our plurality (whether it is disordered or not) because ... we as a traumagenic/endogenic adaptive system have some signs of dissociation and dysregulation ... which makes us wonder if we have a CDD or not ... but dont know how to begin to ask for help. ach. how do you know if youve got a dissociative disorder or if youre just mentally ill and also plural 🔇

🔇- Vent/No Discourse, other replies allowed

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information. More info here: https://www.tumblr.com/syscourse-confessions/728819621058232320/disclaimer-treat-posts-here-like-you-would-any

[syscourse-confessions]

A lot of the discourse revolving around what terms and names a system can use is so tiring as someone who is pretty often the exception to the rule.

Due to being bodily intersex, we have alters that align and identify with MTF and FTM experiences.

Due to being taken in by a Thai and Japanese foster family at a young age, we're very heavily culturally influenced by both cultures and have alters who only speak those two languages as a result of it.

We have to avoid the majority of plural spaces because of these things, as well as a few others, because people will fight us and demand every single detail of our private lives to be given the right to use the languages, names, and terminology that we were granted by our unusual past. We're so tired of it all.

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information. More info here: https://www.tumblr.com/syscourse-confessions/728819621058232320/disclaimer-treat-posts-here-like-you-would-any

[syscourse-confessions]

no matter how much research, evidence, or history pro endos come up with, sysmedicalists will always move the goalposts. its "endogenic systems are scientifically impossible" until we give proof that nontraumagenic plurality is scientifically recognized, then its "nothing explains *how* endogenic systems form, so i dont trust it". theyll never be satisfied as long as they hold onto the need to die on that hill & not admit that theyre wrong

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information. More info here: https://www.tumblr.com/syscourse-confessions/728819621058232320/disclaimer-treat-posts-here-like-you-would-any

[syscourse-confessions]

“Every anti-endo is a bitter asshole” “every pro-endo is an abelist asshole” maybe the real asshole is the friends we made along the way

💛

💛 - Satire

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information. More info here: https://www.tumblr.com/syscourse-confessions/728819621058232320/disclaimer-treat-posts-here-like-you-would-any