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To add on to my post about blushing virgin Bruce: just imagine the first time Clark calls him baby!?!?

It’s bound to happen because, come on. It’s Clark Kent, aka the walking country farm boy stereotype. Its practically ingrained into his system to say all those annoyingly sweet nicknames like sweetheart and darlin’ and fucking cupcake

Anyway, the first time it does actually happen, its when Bruce is having one of his little fits because he let the joker get away or something. Hes been ignoring everyone and refusing to come out of his cave for hours and Clark is getting worried; he’s been practically begging Bruce on hands and knees to just eat something when it slips out-

“Baby, will you please just come upstairs for dinner?”

Bruce then promptly freezes in his rapid typing, which causes Clark to freeze(woah! Domino effect) because he thinks something is wrong with Bruce.

“Baby? You okay?”

When Clark reaches out to rub his shoulder in an attempt at comfort, Bruce makes no sound and doesn’t even look at clark; he just stands up, grabs Clarks hand, and starts leading them to the elevator like this is a perfectly normal thing to do

Clark hesitantly lets himself be lead, feeling both triumphant and scared because theres no way Bruce Wayne just caved so easily after only like one hour of whatever you call what Clark was doing. (Begging? Torture? Manipulation? Depends on the perspective; bruce would probably say all three)

Clark is getting suspicious, so even though both the elevator ride up and dinner are dead silent and kinda awkward he doesn’t really mind, because it gives him time to workshop his theory

When he actually gets to test it out, its because Bruce is glued to his monitors(again), this time in his office instead of the batcave. Clark asks him 3 or 4 times to just come to bed because hes so obviously tired and when bruce doesn’t listen(as predicted,) Clark just leans against the doorframe, raises an eyebrow and says-

“C’mon baby, you know you want to”

He purposely uses that soft, kryptonian voice he has saved away for almost-end-of-the-world speeches. Bruce does that thing again where he freezes up and sort of stops breathing; and when he doesn’t move for a few moments Clark is about to furrow his brow and ask if hes alright, but then bruce is standing up and crossing the room at record time and. Guess what.

Hes blushing.

Bruce actually lets Clark lead them to his bedroom hand in hand. Are you kidding.

Clark hides the biggest smile ever in Bruces hair when he climbs into bed and starts clinging to Clark like a koala, because holy motherfuck he just cracked the code to the universe

This is half baked at best but you guys see what im going for right

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Smile!! 

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This.

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doors exist and someday batman will learn to use them but today is not that day 🙂‍↔️

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by @yjjamazing

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Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

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a long holiday

（my commission from 白川）

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Omg guys look at the bugs I found under a rock today

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why did spock feel the need to serve so much cunt in this episode

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my weird dream about TIT

so

I unfortatenly was not able to go to TIT (due to lack of money)

BUT

last night I had a dream about the Terrible Influence Tour

I was at the show, all dressed up in the lobby and MY 92 YEAR OLD GREAT GRANDMOTHER WAS WITH ME

like ??????

why?

why her?

my 92 year old great grandmother would definitely have a hear attack if i brought her to TIT

she'd sit there, hands folded and go "hmmmmm" AND BE SO DISAPONTED IN ME

shed's be like

"who are these gay beanstalks and how did they corupt my great grandchild?????"

"why is everything blue"

"why is the brown haired one screaming? Charlie, what did you bring me to?"

why her???

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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are u kidding me

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Maybe we've all time traveled to a past where Dan and Phil were able to be who they are from the very beginning

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okay but this is how hellers can still win

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APPARENTLY JOHNLOCK DOESN’T ROCK ON JUST EARTH NOW

‼️⚠️this is NOT an au⚠️‼️

Our babies are on Mars.

Freaking MARS.

Okay backtrack. So basically both SHERLOC and WATSON are cameras attached to a robotic arm in search of life on Mars. SHERLOC detects organic molecules and minerals on Mars, and WATSON captures detailed images of the Martian surface to support SHERLOC's analysis.

(Apparently this program was launched a while ago on July 30, 2020. In 13 days our babies are gonna have their fourth Mars anniversary. I’m going to cry.)

In my mind:

SHERLOC: *bossily points at something*

WATSON: *heaves sigh and takes photos*

More information can be found at:

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Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.