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taeyongdoyoung · 37 minutes ago

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cry for you

summary: you wish you could say you are better off without your ex. but the fact of the matter is that you still love miss him. a lot. pairing: seungkwan x reader genre: angst, smut, exes to lovers warnings: mentions of past break-up, insecurities, jealousy, wrongful accusation of cheating, kwan felt ignored, swearing, some serious talks, kissing, eating out, fingering, dacryphilia, crying, unprotected sex at a party (sorry, Hoshi...) author's note: the fic was inspired by this legendary song but i wanted to put a spin on it, instead of you'll never see me again, i worked around the idea of you have no choice but to see me again 👀 word count: 1.6k

It's not like you wanted to break up. But you weren't exactly interested in fighting for your relationship, either. So, when Seungkwan suggested to end things between you two, you simply said "okay". If he expected you to cry for him, he thought wrong. You didn't shed a single tear. Because you were fully convinced Seungkwan was being unreasonable.

You explained to him hundreds of times that you weren't cheating on him. But Seungkwan kept saying that no one spends so much time in the library. You tried to clear up the misunderstanding by saying that you were serious about your goals. But then Seungkwan insisted that you always prioritize your studies over him. You genuinely attempted to make more time for Seungkwan. But even when you were seemingly having a good time, he kept reminding you of that one time you'd mentioned in passing that the librarian was cute. No matter what you said he didn't believe your faithfulness. At one point, it became too much and he broke up with you.

"You're constantly accusing me of things that are not true!"

"Just stop…stop fucking lying to me."

"I'm not."

"I'm so tired of this same old conversation."

"How do you think I feel?"

"We're not good for each other."

"Finally we're agreeing on something."

"We should break up."

"Okay."

"Is that it? You're not gonna try to change my mind? You're not gonna fight for us?"

"How could I? You killed every last bit of my fighting spirit."

That was seven months ago. Today, you wish you could say you are happier and healthier without him. But you'd be lying. Despite all these toxic fights, you miss Seungkwan. You miss the early days of your relationship, when you were all over each other. You miss his random jokes, his sweet smile, his beautiful hands, his warmth…

So, seeing him again stings. You're attending your friend Hoshi's birthday party. It completely slipped your mind that Hoshi's also friends with Seungkwan…You didn't have any illusions that you'd be able to avoid your ex forever. But on this particular night, you just want to have a fun, chill time with your friends. Luckily, there are many people at Hoshi's. So, if you just stick to a corner and busy yourself talking to other people, maybe you'll be able to steer clear of Seungkwan.

However, luck is obviously not on your side. As Seungkwan seems intent on ruining your plans and comes up to you directly.

"It's been a while," are his first words. No shit, Sherlock!

"Yeah, it has," you respond dryly, not at all interested in keeping up the useless pleasantries.

"I know you probably don't wanna see me again…"

"That's an understatement," you groan.

"But it's kinda unavoidable, considering Hoshi is not our only mutual friend," Seungkwan points out.

"Hm, I don't know, I've been doing pretty good hanging out with my friends one on one for the past seven months," you shrug.

"Does it have to be like this?" Seungkwan waves his hands exasperatedly.

"You made it like this," you remind him bitterly.

"I'm sorry, okay? I was wrong."

Oh, wow. You did not expect an apology.

"Took you long enough," you mutter.

"I know you weren't cheating on me," Seungkwan blurts out.

"Is that so? And how, pray tell, did you reach to this genius conclusion?" you reply sarcastically.

"Because that librarian's partner turned out to be my co-worker. They're totally whipped for each other."

"And why did you have to learn that from other people? Why couldn't you believe me?" your voice starts to shake and you hate that this whole situation still affects you this much.

"That was on me. I was feeling insecure at the mere thought of you meeting other people and doing fun things with them. It was like…I was invisible. But it wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have accused you of cheating. That was so messed up of me," Seungkwan tries to explain his point of you in a relaxed way.

"Wow. Well, I'm glad you told me that. But I think I was at fault, as well. At least, partially. I mean, there were moments when I definitely prioritized my studies over spending quality time with you. While they were important to my development, it was wrong of me to pay so little attention to your feelings. If I was in your shoes, who knows? Maybe I would have made a hurtful assumption, too."

"I don't hold that against you anymore. If your friends understood and respected your ambitions, then I should have, too. I was so caught up in my own insecurities that I didn't realize how unfounded my accusations were," he shares his perspective on things. "Listen, I know it'll be kinda weird at first, but can we try being friends? We're bound to meet again, be it at Hoshi's or around our other friends…"

"I don't know, Kwan…" you sigh. "Do you want to be friends so we can make things less awkward for other people? Or do you genuinely want to be my friend?"

"I don't think other people care that much about our relationship. But I don't want to be your friend, either," Seungkwan says calmly.

"Then, why did you suggest that?" you whisper, taking a sip of your drink.

"You know why," he mutters.

"Spell it out for me. Wanna avoid making the wrong assumption," you grin pointedly.

"I want you back," Seungkwan leans in closer to you. "I shouldn't have broken up with you."

You shake your head.

"This is a terrible idea. We were bad for each other."

"But we were also so good," he takes your hand in his gently. "Please, give me another chance."

"I didn't cry for you," you blurt out. "Not even once. I felt so broken without you, but I was so convinced I did nothing wrong that I couldn't physically bring myself to tears. What's wrong with me? I can cry to silly movies and cat videos but I didn't cry for you."

"You're crying right now," Seungkwan points out, placing a hesitant finger beneath your eye. "See?" he shows you the evidence of your tears on the tip of his finger.

"Oh," you exclaim in shock, as you feel wetness running down your cheeks. "Huh."

"Let's go somewhere more private," he suggests in a low tone, grabs your hand and starts walking up the stairs, leading the way to one of the rooms.

You follow Seungkwan's lead without thinking, suddenly feeling so relieved that he's here, holding your hand. Relieved that you finally cried for him. That he's back in your life again. As if he never left…

"I'll treat you better, I promise," he vows, leaning his head against yours desperately.

"So will I," you respond, still hopelessly in love with him.

Seungkwan kisses you feverishly and you immediately melt in his arms. How you've missed this…His hands sneak under your shirt, touching you passionately and you have no energy left to make him stop. Perhaps this is a bad idea. But it feels too good. You let him remove your jeans and don't even question the fact that he's still fully clothed.

"Take them off," he orders you.

You blink in confusion briefly and then start sliding your panties down your legs, unable to deny him anything.

"Good," Seungkwan praises your compliance and dives his head between your thighs.

Oh, fuck. You forgot how thirsty he was. Like…all the time. You bite your lip, trying to prevent yourself from making any loud sounds.

"Don't swallow your moans, I want to hear you cry for me," Seungkwan insists.

It's really difficult to keep quiet with how he's eating you up. You've barely recovered from your first high when he starts stimulating you with his ridiculously long fingers.

"N-no, p-please," you start to sob underneath his incessant touch.

"You can take it," Seungkwan hisses cruelly. You shake your head, overwhelmed by the intensity of his movements, but your hands do nothing to put an end to this.

And take it, you do. When he finally grants you with the gift of his cock, you're too gone to think clearly. Salty tears clouding your vision, you can't remember any word other than his name.

"Seungkwan…K-kwan," you keep saying.

"Fuck, you look so good like this, crying for me," he praises you, growing harder inside you at the sight of your tears. "Why did it take you so long?"

"Because you were gone," you remind him and this time, the tears are not from the overstimulation, but from the pain you experienced and tried to bottle up.

"I'm sorry, baby, I'm never leaving again," Seungkwan promises as he spills his warm seed inside of you.

Your tears keep flowing but you can't help wrapping your arms around him, wanting to stay like this forever. He's here. It's real.

Seungkwan cleans up the two of you and then holds you closer, hugging you.

"I'll make it okay," he whispers in your ear.

"We'll make it okay together," you agree.

You are so tired that you fall into a brief nap, which is unfortunately interrupted by a very important someone in your and Seungkwan's lives.

"Listen, I appreciate you guys coming to my birthday party and all that, but did you have to leave such a nasty gift on my bed?" Hoshi groans loudly upon walking in on you two, tangled up beneath the sheets.

"Sorry, we'll clean up!" Seungkwan promises.

Hoshi rolls his eyes.

"Whatever. Glad you made up or made out or...something."

"Hey, I guess we have to thank you for inviting us both," you add cheerfully.

"Yay, happy birthday to me, I guess," Hoshi chuckles.

The End

#sr

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taeyongdoyoung · 1 hour ago