#& i've been the callum on this side of things throughout most of my friendships/dynamics tbh

[raayllum]

was thinking about why the fandom focuses on callum's devotion to rayla more so than the other way around - even if they're equally nuts in a lot of ways and i do think the focus is 60/40 - and i think a lot if is really comes down to callum just being 'easier' to love than rayla like, objectively, especially in arc 1.

he's sweet and goofy and emotionally open, he can be insecure and get stuck in his head but that's very internal, he makes mistakes but never anything too major, at most interpersonal relationship wise he can be a bit pushy or momentarily cruel, he's a prince and wanted peace with the elves from the start, he never really causes massive disasters and when he does there was a 50-50 chance it was going to work out anyway or if he is taking a massive risk, thus far it's really only involved risking himself.

he's cute and caring and has never really broken her heart (as she maintains hope even throughout his bouts of cold shoulder in s4). of course she loves him. of course she'd risk everything and anything for him. and even in arc 2 when he's being cold, he's still caring and still knows when to step in and support her

rayla is like... a much more 'difficult' character and person from the start. she lies repeatedly, especially to cover up her failures, she can swagger without actual substance, she's snarky and stand offish and can be snappish. she breaks at the worst of times and often leads to other people being put at risk. she abandons him and breaks his heart. she showed up threatening to kill him. she blew up their lives together and repeats the same mistakes over and over again.

on a surface level and on an interpersonal level, she's far more of an overt piece of work, whereas callum's nastiness comes out more sparingly and is more hidden under the surface; it's not always so apparent. but rayla's typically is, she is a moonshadow elf who fundamentally cannot hide her flaws even when she's trying to so hard

and callum loves her anyway.

he's endeared by the snark, he persists past the standoffish, she pushes him away and he keeps coming back to try and help her, he gets angry but he ultimately (and always rather quickly) forgives her, he's had multiple people telling him that she's bad and cannot/should not be trusted and just flat out doesn't listen to them, because he believes so fundamentally in her goodness, even or especially when she doesn't believe in it because of all the reasons above. he knows she can be difficult and he either doesn't care or loves her not in spite of those things but because of those things. and that's what's so appealing about that aspect of their dynamic.

callum is a wonderful walk in the park when it comes to catching feelings with only a few hiccups, and so often rayla is a ditch with spikes, and callum just goes "challenge accepted" every time (and succeeds) because he knows/believes that she's worth it (and he's right)