#& when i say that i mean it’s her with cassandra / yes? / helio.

[twinstxrs]

“kristen applebees religion struggle overdone at this point” TO YOU! i personally am thinking about how helio, yes?, & cassandra relate to where kristen is at mentally in her journey of learning to live for herself & not for god and how helio is representative of kristen’s family, yes? is representative of tracker, & cassandra is representative of kristen herself, which is why kristen is shunning her.

[18catsreading]

Buddy: I heard that these high school parties in Solace were wild, but whew, this is really wild!

Fabian: it's a new year and it's a new era.

Buddy: so your father got this house from theft.

Fabian: mm, well ...

Adaine: he was a privateer.

Fabian: no, no we don't say that anymore. We had a big fight.

Adaine: oh

Fabian: he was a pivate. He killed and murdered lots of people. Um. But I guess this ship was his.

Buddy: well, I know in my heart that in his final moments, he must have repented and gone--

Fabian: no. No. He's in hell now

Buddy: no!

Fabian: fighting the Devil himself.

Buddy: no don't say that about your --

Fabian: no, I've visited him.

Adaine: oh he's so happy there. He would not like it in Heaven.

Fabian: yes, he actually really likes it there. he got a third arm.

Adaine: his boat is made of a dragon. It's rad.

Fabian: you should go to hell sometime. I mean, I know you don't want to, but it's fun.

Buddy: so, I'm gonna give this milk back.

Fabian: are you sure?

Buddy: yea

Fabian: well, if you choose to be a bad baby--

Adaine: I'll take it

Fabian: yes

Siobhan: I'm double fisting bad baby milk

Fabian: we got a whole year for you to decide you wanna be a bad baby

Buddy: no, if I was gonna be a baby, I would want to be a baby that walks in the light of the corn God.

Fabian: oh that's so -- you know, our friend Kristen was a big cornhead when we met. I mean I guess that's rude to say. Was a big follower of Helio when we first met her.

Buddy: she was the chosen one

Fabian: yea

Adaine: sure

Buddy: she was chosen by Helio.

Adaine: who's the chosen one now? You're the chosen one?

Fabian: are you the chosen one?

Adaine: Are you the chosen one now? [Still double fisting milk and vodka]

Brennan: here, you see he gets kinda somber and he always [as Buddy]: well that's not really how it works. When Kristen left the church we lost our chosen one.

Adaine: oh

Fabian: mm

Buddy: how's things working out with her new God, though?

Adaine: oh my God, her new God is, like, rad

Fabian: so sick

Adaine: so sick, so many people love her

Fabian: yea, I follow--

Adaine: and they get on really well

Fabian: yea they have awesome -- there's this guy that they hang out with named Craig.

Adaine: oh that guy rules

Fabian: Craig is a firecracker

Adaine: and okay, like Helio chose her, but she chose Cassandra. And like, that's--

Fabian: yes

Adaine: -- important

Ally: I'm crying

Fabian: so you know, it's awesome. It's awesome.

Adaine: yea

Buddy: well, that's lovely. Is Kristen around somewhere? I mean, other than right here? Hi, Kristen. [Gestures to Fig, who is disguised as Kristen]

Emily: oh! I forgot I was here. [As Fig pretending to be Kristen]: uh, I'm glad you said all of those true things about me.

Fabian: of course

Fig/"Kristen": I'm gonna go do another shrimp jump.

Fabian: yes, hold it down!

Ally: another shrimp jump?!

Buddy: you're gonna do another shrimp jump? It can't possibly be as good as the first.

Fabian: oh, you'll see about that

Adaine: oh we'll see about that

Buddy: it can't possibly be as good as the first!

Riz: you're right it can't possibly be as good as the first, that's true

Buddy: okay

Riz: maybe just --

Buddy: okay! Hey everybody, we're about to see another shrimp jump! Here we go!

Fabian: rack em up! Rack em up! Rack em up!

Fig: hangman, I need you to move that fiery tartar sauce to light the ramp on fire so we can't do this, okay?

Hangman: you need me to burn the ramp so that it is unusable?

Fig: yea

Hangman: very well

Brennan: you see that the hangman says "ah, I'm going to put my shrimp costume back on" and then goes around a hedge and emerges in hell hound form. And you see that Buddy goes [as Buddy]: oh my God! A servant of the devil! [As Brennan]: And you see that he says [as the Hangman]: go fuck yourself! [As Brennan]: and then rushed off and breathes fire all over the ramp and sets fire to it

*whole group exclaims dramatically* oh shit!

Gorgug: smells good

Brennan: yea all that butter

[verosvault]

🚨SPOILERS FOR FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 6🚨

Dimension20 "Fantasy High Junior Year"

Episode 6 "Party Politics"

Timestamp: 1:31:25

Video Length: 4min. & 49sec.

Kristen and Tracker's Phone Call (1/3 | ‣2/3 | 3/3)

Tracker: "So you don't want me to, but you're saying I don't need your permission."

Kristen: "Yeah, I'm just saying, I got a lot on my plate right now, and so I'm not really in a mental state to be like, 'I am so happy for you,' the way that maybe I would like to be. I just am like, you know."

Tracker: "Yeah, I wanna make...Well, I'm really sorry, and I'm sorry that Cassandra is-"

Kristen tells Tracker that Cassandra is dead and she saw Yes! And that it was rotting and she banished it before she could ask it a question 'cause she's an idiot. 😭✋

Tracker: "Can you even cast spells right now?"

Kristen: "No."

Tracker: "What's gonna happen with you and Aguefort?"

Kristen tells Tracker that she's gonna be president! 😭✋

The awesome caption team: (players snickering) 😭✋

Brennan: "There is a long silence. A loooong silence." 😂😂💀💀

Murph covering his face! 😭✋

Brennan laughing a little 😂🤣💀

Ally: "Kristen really just gassed herself up, actually. Now, she's standing up on a couch on the phone."

Fabian: "Get down! Get down off the couch!"

Kristen giving Fabian the bird! 😭✋

Zac: "All of us are just watching you." 💀💀✋✋

Emily's laughter! 😂🤣

Siobhan: "You're doing really good."

Ally: "I'm kinda holding my hand like Napoleon. Is this how Napoleon did it?" 😭✋

Fabian: "Kristen, get down."

∆

Kristen: "Sorry, I have a lot of adrenaline coursing through my veins."

Tracker: "Yeah, that's sorta playful in a way that I'm not feeling right now."

Kristen: "Ooh! Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I was completely honest, I'm having an awful night. And so tonight's not really the night to give you a really honest answer about our relationship." 😭✋ (The voice crack on the "I'm Sorry" made it sound kinda insincere! I'm crying so hard fr! 😭✋)

Tracker: "Great, okay."

Kristen: "Is that all you wanted to ask? If you could post about your girlfriend?"

Tracker: "Yeah." (THE FACE BRENNAN MAKES! 😭✋ YELLING CRYING SOBBING! 😭✋)

Kristen: "Okay."

Tracker: "Yeah."

Kristen: "I think you should just do it, and I'll figure out a way with the tools that I have, which are throwing myself into this campaign and talking to Jawbone as much as possible."

Lou's reaction and the way he laughs during this is concerning me 😂😂💀💀

Tracker: "Okay. Well-"

Kristen: "Can I ask you a question?"

Tracker: "Yeah, yeah."

Kristen: "Your church is thriving. You're doing so good."

Tracker: "Yeah."

Kristen: "And mine is really, really bad. So bad. How did you pick the moon, and do you ever think about just dropping it and starting a whole new thing that you kinda made up yourself?"

Tracker: "Look, there were a lot of things about how you chose to be a cleric that I wouldn't have said while we were together, because we were together and I wanted to be supportive. And I'm not gonna say them now, when you're really low. But probably some of the stuff you need to hear is gonna be not that fun to hear. Yeah, my church is thriving, and I've never thought about abandoning Galicaea. We're changing the nature of how people relate to this goddess, and if I didn't do it, she would be the version you saw in the nightmare forest forever. She deserves people that understand her as she once was and as she can be again. And frankly, it's thriving now, but it wasn't four months ago. And there were hard, hard parts and there's still a long ******* way to go. And frankly, Kristen, I don't think you've ever dealt with Helio. You were like, yeah, this is ******** and I'm leaving, but you never grappled with the parts of it that ******* worked for you. You were chosen. All you had to do was do the **** everybody always said you were gonna do. And then you wandered out into the wilderness where you had to make meaning for yourself, and the truth is, Kristen, as much as you 'like the idea of making meaning,' you don't wanna do it 'cause it's hard."

Kristen: "Yeah, my work ethic's been bad. But Helio was so annoying."

Tracker: "You leaving Helio was the right choice for you, but the issue is, you wanted something Helio-shaped. You wanted something where the engine was already running and all the machinery was there, and you could just step in and have a waiting flock ready to raise their hands up and say, 'This is the chosen one.' And then you made a god out of block letters, and it died on the day you made it."

Kristen: "Wow."

Tracker: "That's true! It's ****** up!"

Kristen: "Wow."

Tracker: "I don't even know if you could go find another god. Your last two gods died!"

Kristen: "I..." *laughs* "Okay, I just-"

Tracker: "You know how rare it is for a god to die?"

Kristen: "Yeah."

Tracker: "Your last two! In high school!"

Kristen: "Maybe she had a shrimp allergy. You don't ******* know!" 😭😭✋✋

Brennan's laugh! And then Murph and Lou's reactions! 😭😭✋✋

This whole interaction made me AN ABSOLUTE MESS!!! 😭😭✋✋

[titanias-stolen-shoes]

two bad fics in one day? it’s more likely than you think

summary: kristen talks to her parents and she still can’t stand them

read on ao3!

-

“Uh…” Kristen stood at her front door, not knowing whether she should close the door on her parents. Her immediate instinct was yes. Obviously, she didn’t care about what they had to say. On the other hand, her brothers were with them and by Cassandra she missed them.

Bucky tackled her legs and soon Bricker and Cork were on her before she could process what was happening. “Hey, hey!” She laughed as they clung to her legs and she stumbled backwards into Mordred Manor. Luckily for her there was no one else there. Sandra Lynn and Jawbone were at work, Adaine and Fig were at school, Ragh, Lydia, and Tracker were at Lydia’s doctor’s appointment, Aelwen was doing community service, and Ayda had gone back to Compass Points for a few hours. Kristen was, for the first time, home alone. She had been temporarily suspended for having “relations” in the girls’ locker room and getting caught. If she was being honest, it was kind of funny to see the teacher go so red in the face.

Sandra Lynn and Jawbone had been very disappointed which had taken all the fun away from being caught. Still, she’d been making the most of the day by communing with Cassandra who was still getting the hang of being a deity. They were great, always open to new ideas, happy to learn along with Kristen, and best of all, okay with not knowing and celebrating that they had something new to learn together. It had been a pretty good day. Until the knock at the door.

Now here she was, awkwardly sitting in the kitchen with her parents as they attempted to hide their disdain and her brothers zoomed around the house. If she was nice enough, maybe she could see her brothers more.

“What brings you here?” she said slowly. She cleared her throat, trying to be less awkward. “It’s been a while, yeah?”

Her mom looked at her, eyes filled with worry the way they used to be when she was sent off on her own. “It has, dear. We just… we just wanted to say we’re sorry.”

“Uh, I’m sorry, what?” Kristen was glad she was sitting, because she could hardly remember the last time her parents apologized for… well, anything meaningful. “What, uh, prompted this?”

“Well,” her dad, Mac, shifted in his chair, tearing his eyes away from the fridge. A quick glance let her now it was a picture of everyone who lived there, taken not long after spring break. That explained the constipated look. “We’ve been going to church and praying for you and praying for guidance and, well, we can’t really fault you for this.”

“You… can’t?”

“No, honey.” Donna reached across the table, placing her hand on Kristen’s. It was a comforting gesture that reminded her of the way her life used to be. It was less comforting after that thought. “We’ve all gone through phases. Why, I went through a phase where I wouldn’t stop cutting my hair, didn’t I, Mac?”

“Oh, yes,” Mac sat up straight, nodding sagely. “It was quite a scandal, Kristen. Women having hair that short… Oh, everyone at the church talked about it nonstop.”

Donna smiled. “It did catch your father’s attention. We— Bucky! Don’t climb on their couch like that, you’ll tear it up.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“What we really mean to say, is we forgive you, sweetie. We know you don’t mean to make us scared and worried. It’s so easy to believe phases are forever and we can’t blame you for being so young.”

Kristen sat, looking at her parents, not in disbelief, but disappointment. She wasn’t at all surprised that they were saying stuff like this. They had, after all, given her literally nothing in terms of decent parents for her whole life. She wanted to get mad—to yell and scream and tell them off—but she just didn’t have the energy to. She’d spent a year being angry, and while she was still angry, she realized there were better things to do with her energy. Like channeling it into Cassandra. Or learning how to cook things other than corn. Or having sex with Tracker.

She sighed, pulling her hand away and standing up. Bucky, Bricker, and Cork all rushed over to her and she smiled. He brothers would always be the only part that she missed about being in that house. “I don’t know how to make you believe that this isn’t a phase, so I won’t try. I will say that I’m not sorry. I’m definitely not sorry about being super gay and happy about it.”

They gasped, drawing themselves up as if they were going to say something, but she beat them to it. “The only thing I’m sorry about is that I don’t get to see my brothers.” She knelt and hugged them tight. “Is it so hard to believe I’m happier now?”

Mac was already shaking his head. “No. There’s no way you’re happy. You can’t be unless you’re following Helio—you’re his chosen one.”

Donna was nodding as she said, “That’s right dear. You belong at home with us. Not here with all of these… non-human individuals.” By the sneer on her face it was clear she meant something entirely different.

“Amazing. You aren’t hearing anything I say.” Kristen stood, herding her brothers toward the door. They were nervously bumping into her legs as they sensed the tension between Kristen and their parents.

They frantically followed, trying to convince Kristen of their love. Or at least, what they believed it to be. “We are honey. We just know that that’s what you think. We know the truth. You just need to be guided back to the light and—”

She opened the door and stopped short saying, “I punched Helio in the face.”

“What?”

“Yup. He sucks and so does his dad.” Their faces went pale and that was all the incentive she needed to continue. “I have sex with my werewolf girlfriend daily and I love her so much more than I can say. My father figure is a werewolf because my own dad is terrible and my mother figure is an elf because I respect her more than my own mom. I helped bright back a goddess of mystery and darkness and became their first follower.” She pushed them out the door, gently shooing her brothers after them. “I saved the world twice, died twice, and came back a saint the second time. There is literally nothing you can say to me right now.”

“We—”

“Nope!” She closed the door in their faces and went straight to her room, ignoring their knocking and shouts through the door.

---

“Your parents were here?” Tracker was laid next to her, playing gently with her hair. “Are you okay?”

Kristen shrugged. “I think so. It was weird, but ultimately disappointing.”

“That’s how it usually is.” Tracker’s hand stopped and the sleepiness that was claiming Kristen lessened. “Seriously, babe. Are you okay?”

“I… I really think I’m alright. I was more tired than anything else. Yes, I’m angry, but it’s not worth the effort. They’re not worth the effort.”

She chuckled and cuddled closer, running her finders through Kristen’s hair again. “I’m proud of you.”

“I’m proud of me, too,” Kristen mumbled, sinking a little further into sleep as Tracker started to talk about her day. She felt warm and content as she laid in bed with her girlfriend, drifting off knowing that she was happier now than she had ever been before.