#/ despite all his stupid shit he's pretty rational and self-assured.

[moonglittering]

✨ niceness holds no room here. kindness, however…

he’s been called ‘ not nice ’ which of course… he’s not nice. for virote there’s a big difference between being nice and being kind. being nice is being a doormat that won’t open your mouth and won’t make any waves and will accept being treated any ‘ole way… it’s not genuine. it’s almost cowardly. it’s being pleasing. being kind, however, is confident and intentional. and putting your foot forward to do the right thing and most giving thing when called for. and that’s what virote strives to do. he’s not a passive person.

vi’s almost aggressive in his approach to everything including his positive attitude towards things… and he’s aggressive when he needs to tell someone to shut the fuck up too. and there’s nothing wrong with that. the whole unneeded black-white view between being a good person / soft and being able to tell someone to step to hell / hardass is view that i like to break on this blog.

virote is a very kind person. he’s devoted his entire life to helping and being a shoulder to lean on, it’s his profession. but he’s not nice. he’s not gonna be stupidly amiable and bend over backwards for people who don’t deserve it. he’s more self-preserved than that.

he’s kind.

he will tell you to fuck off and die if he has to. his heart is beautiful, he’ll punch right in the fuckin jaw.

these two traits can exist in one person.

if you wanted nice, you shoulda went to ya mama’s house.

[willadisastercry]

tw: voltron and anxiety

my brain has just accepted it as fact that Lance was most likely head hostage negotiator for his friends’ sanity while in space and let me tell you why

first order of business: i must establish that Lance is cannocially a goofball. this is factual and cannon. he is confident and charming and assertive and always the first to make a stupid joke just to put everyone at ease or piss them off because he loves them and that’s his thing. he wants to annoy the shit out of them and make them laugh not only because they need it but because he does too.

while i’ve seen a lot of posts suggesting Lance could have ADHD (and while i pretty much agree in that deduction and what i suggest in this post goes hand in hand with this disorder in particular, it requires a more thorough explanation that i as someone with adhd feel like they can provide a solid reasoning behind this theory) i think it can more simply be put as a headcannon that he has general anxiety or a generalized anxiety disorder that manifests in his self worth/esteem making him require more validation, affection, assurance despite his own portrayal of confidence and security (of which is a coping mechanism meshed with pre-existing personality traits). this is done through humor and affection for others, i. e. why he’s the “class clown” of which is a common example used for this type of behavior.

i recognize that voltron is a team of TEENAGERS at war in and entirely new enviornment with none of their usual comforts who have lots of hormones and logical fears that they have to navigate all while tasked with an immense responsibility. that’s stressful in and of itself. but this leads my brain to come to the obvious conclusion that any time a member of voltron exhibited anxiety, so like showed symptoms that they were about to have a panic attack, were stuck in a pattern of irrational thinking, showed harmful coping behaviors related to irrational fear, etc. Lance would sus it out and be at their side immediately to talk them down. no funny business. no jokes until he was sure they were feeling better. his cockiness would disappear and instead he’d be calm, he was always so composed, so comforting. he wouldn’t leave their side until it passed. he’d check on them throughout the day to make sure they hadn’t gotten worked up again. he’d even probably recognized their individual triggers and symptoms and became the only one who could effectively talk them down. every single one. it didn’t matter if they were in the middle of a mission. if something happened to trigger them he would drop whatever he was doing to go to their aid. he had been dealing with this his whole life, and they had just been introduced to such an intense dose of it and were expected to perform. in a hostile environment! and Lance being the softhearted goof he is definitely wouldn’t forgive himself if they got hurt or hurt themselves when he could’ve helped.

and so... Lance has assigned himself an enormous task because he’s Lance. everyone has sort of caught on to this and just accept Lance as being so strangely in tune with their well-being in this regard, all of them having varying degrees of understanding why, the general picture being it likely runs in his family and he is well aversed in both experiencing it and mollifying it. so when ever Shiro is hit by a flash back or has gone catatonic in a more intense episode of his cannon PTSD, it’s Lance and Keith at his side making sure he’s safe from hurting himself, they protect him from getting hurt if it happens in the middle of a mission, and from possibly hurting the people around him. Lance is a light sleeper and is often woken up by light cries and whimpers of his friends having nightmares, depending on which direction they come from warrants his level of concern (he goes by where their room is and the pitch of their cries, because they all get nightmares every now and again, they’re at ~war~ and it’s traumatizing, but some of his friends have worse reactions and tendencies in that state) and sometimes if they never quiet he’ll wait up to make sure they fall asleep okay and that no one hurts themselves in their delirium. and similarly, when Keith is rocked by a string of sleepless, nightmare ridden nights or occasional bouts of insomnia (neither officially established as cannon) and turns up to breakfast sleep deprived and sluggish Lance keeps an eye on him, takes it easy on him with his chiding, watches to see that he doesn’t over exert himself and end up snapping at someone and then crumbling from an exhaustion induced anxiety attack, especially when they’re out on a mission where the stakes are higher to maintain your composure. Lance is there when Hunk who is the most expressively anxious of the bunch is feeling particularly skiddish about a circumstance or on a dangerous mission or in anticipation of one of their teammates stumbling out of their cryopod in tact. he is especially good at knowing what’ll trigger his best friend and can usually manage some reassuring words before he goes full fight or flight and loses his lunch. but what’s most impressive is when he gets through to Pidge. she is a perfectionist, she needs constant intellectual stimulation to calm her nerves but the long hours she spends straining her eyes and her brain is also what makes her inclined to breakdown after a tough mission or during a difficult training session or from aparticularly tactless joke from one of the boys about her height and the like, but especially from frustration about not being able to solve a problem. but when Pidge breaks down it’s like next level bad, her usual practicality and composure utterly abandoned since when she’s lost her logical exterior it’s after a long time of surpressing her emotions, so if she has started crying she usually can’t get herself to stop, on several occasions hyperventilating and passing out. Lance seems to be the only one whose reassuring words she can prescribe to. he does breathing excercises with her to regain a normal breathing pattern and let’s her fall asleep on his chest so she can feel the rise and fall and emulate it. There’s fully now a whumpy fic that i wrote about this dynamic... here.

and the entire team is there to support Lance when he has an episode of his own anxiety. though he is really good at rationalizing his intrusive thoughts when he’s overwhelmed or panicked, it’s all of his good vibes only bs that helps him neutralize most of his anxiety before it builds. but when it does build up it usually manifests in him breaking down over the thought that he might never see his family again, it’s constricting, it’s the only thing he can’t rationalize. his team is very aware of this and try to comfort him before he spirals and usually catch it. Pidge even tries to do his own breathing techniques with him sometimes. and Hunk is especially good at calming him after a nightmare that he wakes up screaming from, usually about his family member dying or him dying before he gets to say goodbye, but Hunk is there whispering mantras in spanish to him until he calms down enough to go back to sleep.

so basically Lance is voltron’s emotional support animal and no one can convince me otherwise.

i digress.

[disneydreamlights]

Celeste because she's bae, and Annalee because Daughter Time nwn

ASH THERE’S SO MANY CONCERNING THINGS ABOUT THAT FIRST STATEMENT.

Full Name: Just Celeste. She did at one point have a last name but she abandoned it, seeing it as unnecessary. She also sometimes goes by Astra.

Gender and Sexuality: Cis girl and this is the one question my answer is “I don’t want to know”

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: human

Birthplace and Birthdate: Sumaru City. Her birthday is June 8th.

Guilty Pleasures: So I have to preface this that this is not normally a guilty pleasure but due to the fact that she thinks she has to abandon everything she once was to lead her cult properly, her attachment to her drawing and the comic she’d planned on making before she discovered Yaldabaoth are both guilty pleasures.

Phobias: Nothing she would admit. ;) (Also snakes)

What They Would Be Famous For: In an ideal world? It’d be for her art skills and comic since she’s really good. But uh...leading a cult is kinda...yeah.

What They Would Get Arrested For: HMM...it’s almost like she psychologically tormented people to recruit them to a cult I wonder...

OC You Ship Them With: no

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Of my own ocs Luca would like to strangle her in her sleep but let’s be real it’s Matt.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Superhero

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Not a cliche but in general the generic YA Dystopia novel genre and all the cliches associated with it tend to leave a bad taste in her mouth.

Talents and/or Powers: She’s great at art, and whether or not it’s good or not she is gifted at manipulation and making people see things her way.

Let me put it this way: Matt may have been the reason the Holy Grail grew so exponentially, but she’d still managed to recruit a good amount of members before she had him and there’s a reason for that.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Once they honestly get to know her if they do they’re probably too wrapped up in her beliefs to stand against her. It’s the only reason somebody could like her. She’s manipulative, abusive, and kinda a bitch.

Also I guess there’s kinda the people who don’t know she’s a cult leader who know her online like Luca, ig he likes her because when she’s not trying to recruit people to a cult she’s not a complete monster.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: See the above.

How They Change: Her character arc is definitely a fall from grace. She starts off as a young and aspiring comic artist who moves to Shibuya for a chance, has some bad luck, and just when all seems shit, she winds up in Yaldaboath’s distorted world but unlike everybody else there, she can see him right away. And the words he says make sense. Shibuya is rotten to the core. People don’t need free will, they’d be happier without it. When he dies, she resolves to bringing him back to awareness in the human subconscious so he can rise again and control Shibuya from below with her as his enforcer and the one spreading his word, and bit by bit she starts losing every aspect of herself until all that’s left of Celeste is a dedicated follower of Yaldabaoth and leader of a cult.

Why You Love Them: She’s an interesting character study for sure and her fall from naïve, struggling comic and fanartist to cult leader who’s entire identity and life’s goals are based around bringing back a false god who wants to take away all individuality and control the world and that’s interesting as hell. She’s interesting as hell.

-x-

Full Name: Annalee

Gender and Sexuality: Nonbinary, aro/ace

Pronouns: she/her or they/them. No real personal preference so it’s whatever other characters choose to use. (I use she/her in narration only because those were her initial pronouns since that’s one of the details that’s changed over the years.)

Ethnicity/Species: Unversed (It’s Complicated, and if it comes up in the profile I’ll explain otherwise nah)

Birthplace and Birthdate: Scala ad Caelum and N/A but when asked she insists it’s July 3rd

Guilty Pleasures: Every manga she ever read. She’s read some bad ones.

Phobias: Abandonment is probably her biggest fear but she’s got a pretty big list and some terrible anxiety.

What They Would Be Famous For: I know back when I used her for a DR rp she was a violinist so probably that but realistically for a lot of reasons (anxiety, discovery of her true nature, etc) she would choose to avoid the spotlight so...

What They Would Get Arrested For: I had to give this a lot of thought and more than likely? She completely ran away from something and her father “arrested” her as a cover to get her back home so as not to destroy world order or anything.

OC You Ship Them With: N/A

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Realistically if she loses the ability to maintain her rationality and her true form, Sky, Marina, or Landon could all be likely to take her out, probably Landon.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Rom Com Mangas (i.e. She’d love Fruits Basket) followed by adventure stories.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Love triangles (”I don’t get it why are they introducing another character she won’t end up with anyways! It’s stupid!”)

Talents and/or Powers: As a Keyblade Wielder Annalee has the standard array of ability to use Keyblade and everything that comes with it.

Because she is an Unversed given human form (tl:dr Vanitas experiences a happy emotion and creates an Unversed that’s powerful enough to maintain a human form when she so chooses, and she does often) she also has standard array of his powers. She can create or summon Unversed and have them help her in combat. If they or she get too hurt, she can no longer sustain them and they vanish instead to sustain her. (Her favorite is her Archraven)

Why Someone Might Love Them: Well first of all she’s honestly adorable in her naivety, and she tries incredibly hard to be liked. Her heart is always in the right place even despite the darkness that makes her up and she’s kind. Insanely kind.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Well for one Vanitas is like her pseudo-father so anybody with a grudge against him...there’s also the fact that if she loses control or gets too much darkness exposure she’ll turn into her true Unversed form and go on a rampage. And also her social anxiety does make her panic often or say the wrong thing.

How They Change: In character, she becomes more confident, self assured, and better at controlling her darkness to the point that all transformations are at will.

But honestly tracking her ooc changes is more fun because full confession, she was originally a Vanqua love child I had no choice but to back off of because of some things in the rp I first used her in and I liked the second version so much I decided to keep it.

Why You Love Them: She’s one of my oldest ocs, and I’m very proud of how far she’s come as a character. Also I’m not gonna lie I may look at some of the Unversed stuff and go “wow other KH fans will probably find that cringey” but I’m having fun with all of it and I think above all else that’s what matters.

[amnachil]

To the perfection Chapter 2 Part 2

Enjoy :)

Cody Monday March 11

He gulped, absolutely not ready for it. Monday morning were usually rough. But this one was special in every way. Not only they were forced to attend school this week because they had hours to catch up in order to make a trip later this year, but he was going to see Thomas. I don't know what got into me. I don't know why I went up against him during the game. Cody wasn't ready to face Thomas, but he had to. Next to him, Joël finished a video about cats and laughed loudly.

"I can't help but watch it again and again." he said. "This kitty is so cute !"

Thankfully, he was stupid enough to not notice Cody wasn't listening. Because their friend was coming closer. Oh man. Thomas was smiling. His usual bright smile, which could enlighten your whole day. The smile Cody fell for.

"Hi Joël." he said. "Let's go inside, it's freezing."

Wait. "Hi Joël" ? Seriously ? So that was his punishment. Of course, the ginger couldn't ignore him more than he already did.

"I saw the video you sent yesterday." continued Thomas. "The cat is incredibly cute !"

"Ah ! I know right ?!" exclaimed their friend.

It was childish. Stupid. He's just pretending to care to hurt me. I know that. So why was it so painful ? He looked at his buddies while they entered in the highschool. They looked exactly like in these memories. Back when Thomas was talking openly with them. Back when he was the sun in Cody's life. And piece by piece, I can literally feel my heart crumbles. Because he knew those times wouldn't come back ever again.

The day went awfully slowly. Thomas was purposely more talktative with everyone. He laughed to every single joke Joël did. He talked politely to the teachers. He even held the door for the girls in each class. Well, he was literally shining. And everyone wanted to be part of it. Their classmates and their professors all fell for it. Someone said the ginger was back to his old self. Cody resisted to his urge to punch the poor soul. Everything is an act. He just wants to make me suffer, right ? How come Joël wasn't suspecting anything ? This dude had zero braincell or what ? Finally, for their last hour, their science teacher made a comment.

"You're extremely nice today." he pointed out. "Are you hiding something ?"

"Does a man need a reason to be nice ?" smiled Thomas. "Besides, I'm always nice."

"Well, let's say you're extra shiny today." confessed Darren. "Are you in love or something ?"

Cody froze for a second. Nah, that's not possible. The class laughed. Yeah, their professor only made a little joke. But the dark-haired lad noticed his friend's twitch. No way. Is it even possible ? It was highly unlikely. But what if ? The idea was already settling in Cody's mind.

"Dude, I understand shit and you're not helping if you are stargazing."

The teennager turned towards Ilhan. Right, they were working here.

"Sorry." he mumbled. "I got distracted. Anyway, where were we ?"

"I don't know anymore. I'm just lost."

Cody frowned. He looked closely at his friend. He looked so tired, so depressed. Whatever was going on, it wasn't good. He completely let himself go... Ilhan was definitely tubby now. His too-tight vest wasn't fit to hide such a paunch. And several times, Cody had spotted the man in a bloated state. Is it what they call stress-eating ? The nurse would turn completely crazy during the next check-up. I should help him. It would be nice to feel useful to someone. And maybe that way, I can't forget Thomas for a bit. Well, it was just a lie. And to say tomorow is my birthday...

Dan Wednesday March 13 – Thursday March 14

The day hadn't been good. His college's professor had told him his grades were too low. I won't graduate like this. I need to improve my grades. So Dan was studying more despite the fact it was his only week of holidays. When he arrived at the gym this evening, he wasn't in the mood. Sandra offered to do only light exercises, and she let him in peace. He managed to do some stuff, but his mind was elsewhere. Well, until he noticed Thomas's friend coming his way. What is his name again ? I think it's Joël.

"Hey dude." greeted the teenager. "How've you been ?"

"Uh, fine. I'm struggling a bit with those weights."

"You're doing great man."

Seing Joël's biceps, this one could lift them up easily and he was just trying to make Dan feel better. Well, thank for the thought.

"Sooo you live with Thomy right ?" asked the lad.

Dan decided to stop his stupid training because he probably looked ridiculous. He stood up and glanced at his interlocutor. He was slightly taller and broad-shouldered. His hair were dark with blond strand, his eyes brown.

"Yeah." finally answered the college student.

"Okay so here's the deal." smiled Joël. "There are rumors saying our Thomy got a girlfriend but of course, he won't tell me. I'm just dying to know ! Damn, I can't be in the dark so please please please tell me ?"

He made puppy eyes which made Dan smile. This guy is cool.

"Sorry but I havn't heard anything on the subject." he assured. "And I doubt Thomas is seeing anyone right now. He's very busy between working out, helping Ilhan every night and stuff."

Joël made a face.

"Helping Ilhan every night ?" he repeated. "Cody said they stopped a moment ago since they're not really talking at school anymore."

"What ?"

Now Dan was lost too. I'm pretty sure he didn't lie when he told me he was going to Ilhan's place. So he lied to his friend ?

"Ah, that's cool." laughed Joël. "If Thomas is still helping him, I'm sure Ilhan will be rocking again soon !"

The college student nodded. I should just trust Thomy. I'm sure there is a good explanation behind this.

The next day, Dan exhausted himself with studying. This evening, he was so tired he decided to indulge more than usual. He ate his content pretty fast and then more. Thomas wasn't home yet, so he finished all the leftover. And then ordered two oversized pizzas. It wasn't very rational nor healthy, but he needed something to relax. He went though the first one lazily. The added weight forced him to lay down on the couch. The bloat was feeling nice. When he finished, he belched, kinda satisfied. Then he decided to try his luck with the second pizza. It was harder but still, he continued. His belly bulged and he needed to took off his pull over to let it expand. He felt his stomach took the free room. Honestly, Dan didn't know exactly how he managed to finish, but he did. Damn. He burped loudly. He tried to move, but that was painful. He had a tummy ache for sure. It was worth it anyway. He was trying to appease his angry belly when Thomas arrived.

"Oh. Looks like you already ate." he said.

Dan nodded, groggy. His friend sat next to him.

"Are you in pain ?"

"Yeah... Ate too much, too fast."

A soft hand entered in touch with his skin. Made a circle. Oooh. Good. Very good. He let out a moan against his will.

"I... I'll make you feel better." whispered Thomas, short-winded. "Just... Let me do it."

His friend rubbed his belly slowly, calmly. At first, it was timid but it became firmer. It feels so nice. Dan closed his eyes. Now he could digest peacefully. Slowly, he fell asleep.

Thomas Sunday March 17

Gregory wolfed down a burger like if it was nothing. His big mouth was very useful for this kind of thing. As for her, Shirley lowered her head, uneasy. The ginger bite his lips. Why on earth I agreed to come ? Dan arrived with his own order and sat next to him. Oh yeah, I recall now. Because he had done something terribly stupid four days ago. I rubbed his belly. I mean, I rubbed DAN's belly when he was conscious. It had been the happiest moment of his life. And the worst too. Because his crush had moaned Raphaël's name during his sleep. Of course, he was his boyfriend. It's pretty normal he thought about him. It had destroyed Thomas's heart. But it had also gave him hope. Because it means I can rub his belly again. I mean, I can rub DAN's belly again. All he had to do was pretend to be his brother.

"I can't do it." Shirley complained. "I'm not ready yet."

"Sis' you are more than ready." contradicted Dan. "You found a flat to rent, you've a job as a cashier and you're pulling yourself together very well."

"Agreed." added Gregory between two mouthful. "You're more than ready to talk to Sam."

Honestly, Thomas didn't care at all about Shirley, her ex and whatever. But since it was important to Dan, it mattered to him aswell.

"You're great." he assured with his brightest smile. "Go ahead and make peace."

She nodded, reassured by their cheerings. She stood up and went for Sam. The ginger felt Dan's shoulder press against his. It was just a friendly touch, but he got flustered anyway.

"I hope she'll be okay." he mumbled.

"Don't worry man, she's on the right way." Thomas stated. "And Gregory is here to watch her... I guess, because it seems like he can't get his eyes away from his burger."

The joke made them laugh. And the teenager felt genuinely happy.

Fast enough, the craving for more haunted him again. To press shoulders wasn't enough to satisfy his teenager's needs. He called Joël.

"Hi man. Sorry but I can't make it to the gym today."

"Whaaat ? But Cody and I are already there !" groused the other. "Man, not fair !"

Well, if this asshole is here, there is another reason why I can't come. Both his friends were Raphaël's pawns but at least Joël was too silly to be a bother. The leech on the other hand... I just hate him so much right now. He dared stand up against me.

"There's somewhere else I need to be." he said.

"Mmhm alrighty.... Wait Cody asks if you're going to Ilhan's place again ?"

For god's sake. He can't leave me alone, can he ? And how the hell did he know about this ?

"He's not my mom." Thomas replied. "I'm hanging up."

No sooner said than done. He didn't want Cody to stick his nose into his business. Anyway, Thomas went straight to Ilhan's home. He knocked at the door, and his friend's mother opened. She led him upstair, saying how much she was glad he was here. According to her, her son was going through a bad phase, and his help was more than welcome. She hoped he would help him get back in shape. Sure thing. Count on me. He barely waited for her to leave. And then, he jumped on Ilhan's bed, next to his friend. This one had already indulged in the pastries Thomas had sent earlier with a note. He was seemingly overstuffed.

"I did burp... what you asked." he muttered.

"Nice. Now I'll fuck you."

"Wait... Thomas. I just need to know, why are we doing this ? What are we even doing ?"

The ginger sighed, annoyed. Ilhan had so many questions, so many doubts ! They were just having fun !

"I don't understand why you're still so worried about everything." he said with a threatening tone. "Just let me fuck you and we're good, okay ?"

"O... Okay."

To be continued

Not much to say. Our feedees are doing their job. Dan rather willingly while Ilhan is well... not so sure about this.

And Thomas... Thomas doesn’t change. He’s not very nice to the people who annoys him. And that’s a lot of people.