#// delays it for your finals but also constantly nitpicks it

[hotheadhero]

Reconcile

“Perhaps you should go to the Goddess Tower and seek her council. Oh, don’t look at me like that! Yes, rumors abound about that place, but it’s also the most private place connected to your goddess here.”

Even as he stands before the entrance of the Goddess Tower with Celica’s advice still fresh on his mind, he can’t bring himself to climb those storied steps and seek divine counsel. For everyone else the tower represents joy, bears witness to fateful promises that will last a lifetime. He has nothing of the sort to make tonight; it would be something like heresy to climb up now. And so he remains at the foot of it, blankly staring up at its peak trying to listen for something he’s never sought out in his life before... and finding, to some distress, nothing at all.

Now, as ever, it would seem he has to muddle through things on his own.

For one normally so hyper, he stands almost statuesque, hand frozen in midair mere inches from the gilded knob. Minutes pass, hours, eons, before he heaves a sigh and, clenching fingers once into a fist, turns away. Exactly what he’d hoped to find here, he doesn’t know... It was stupid of him to even try. Perhaps he’d be better served hunting Linhardt down and apologizing tomorrow. It’s getting late, anyway. Neither of them should be up much longer; and coupling his friend’s general distaste for balls with his own epic (and public) outburst midway through one, chances were just as high the mage had already fled and turned in.

But of course, the goddess still loves her games and whiles. As he trudges back down the short flight of stairs across the cathedral bridge towards his dorm room, who should he find along the way but the very person he wanted most and could least avoid. He looks up precisely when Linhardt does. Their eyes meet. His composure breaks.

Seeing Linhardt again after what feels like ages tears a fresh hole into his psyche. He finds now that all he’s done tonight is delude himself, slap band-aids over his wounds without really assessing their depth. He’s never had any aptitude for healing his physical wounds; whatever made Caspar think he could handle his emotional ones any better? He’s run away from his problems as he always has, never confronting them unless forced; and how it shows when the matter involves someone he can’t run away from, his dear best friend, his fellow student and other half on this same goddess-forsaken campus! The injury is still there, fresh as if he’d torn it now rather than hours prior. It suffocates him, chokes out his power for speech. But speak he must! for he feels the weight of those incredulous accusing eyes on his, near withers under that ocean-ice gaze. Linhardt’s stare is almost frightening when not at their usual half-mast; it pins him like a vampire to the stake. How dare you renounce everything we had? those eyes demand. How dare you go and pretend as if all of this is normal?

“Linhardt, I—”

A wave of emotion crashes over him and drags him under with those two words, as if he’s opened a dam without first seeing how much water it held back. His perfectly rehearsed apology dies in his mouth. He wants to flee but finds himself rooted to drown under the weight of all their past memories. Acceptance. Laughter. Harmless exasperation at Linhardt’s many capricious antics; countless adventures with the other boy in tow. Innumerable times escaping Gilead’s wrath or even Lord Hevring’s. All underscored by an unshakable faith that no matter what he did, Linhardt would always have his back just as Caspar did his. Because they were best friends, brothers from another mother, and they’d never have to fight it out. Because theirs was an unbreakable bond… Up until the moment Linhardt broke it, and everything burned.

(Or was it he who had broken it from the start, and thus he who deserved all the blame? For hadn’t it been Linhardt who’d always had faith in him when even his brother and father did not? Who’d always helped him get back on his feet every time a fight or argument knocked him down? Who’d convinced him he had any shot at any of this when the whole of Enbarr seemed to believe otherwise?)

And he’s my friend besides. He would never lie to me without good reason… Right?

Words fail him as they never do; and Caspar is the first to divert his gaze. His eyes writhe with equal parts anger, guilt, and sorrow. He isn’t blind to the damage he’s done tonight, not at all. He simply doesn’t know how best to make amends.

I can’t deal with this right now.

Then when?

At least you still have the ability to talk to him now. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.

(It is Lloyd’s words that finally rouse him to action, his spiritual older brother with the wise haggard eyes. He can’t allow himself to go the way of Linus, to see Linhardt or himself part ways forever without ever learning the truth.)

“… Why?” he manages at last. It’s a loaded question, far weightier than its one syllable deserves. Why did you lie to me? Why did you break our promise?

Why did you go and leave me behind?

Narrow fingers clench tighter in his palms ‘til they blanche. It's a pain and atonement far too small, he thinks. Pathetic, something hisses inside. Seething with thoughts unvoiced, you dig your own grave even deeper. Did you ever think you deserved such a friend? Dare you think you deserve any at all, after what you yourself did to your best and first most faithful friend?

“I don’t understand.” Not you, not myself. He addresses the air, not his friend’s face; his words drag forth from him, quiet and ragged for what he fears he’s about to hear. ”I thought you wanted me to stay away from you. Grow up, since I haven’t with you always close by. Isn’t that why you left the Eagles for the Deer? Because I’ve done something seriously wrong?”

How it hurts to admit that aloud; but that’s the only thing that can explain all this. Why else would Linhardt dodge his questions and accuse him like that when all he’d done was listen to what he thought he wanted? Ten long years they’ve been friends; he’d thought by now he knew Linhardt’s mind like the back of his hand. Clearly he was in the wrong—and if he’d been wrong about that, what else had he been wrong about? Had he ever really known Linhardt at all?

“I…” Caspar sighs. Head unmoving, his eyes flick up towards the other’s face; but this position makes the back of his eyes ache and so he forces himself to properly meet the mage’s eyes. ”I still don’t think you gave me an honest answer back there, so tell me now. Obviously you didn’t leave the ball early like all the other ones back in Enbarr, so why are you here? Come to tell me off? Go on; I can take it.” Yet his gaze slips sideways again. ”It’s probably nothing I haven’t heard before.”

Oh, but can he? His own words conjure up all manner of past demons – just as they had with Celica, but worse. A formless beast, bearing at times his brother’s face, at others his father’s, appears in his mind’s eye, sinister, venomous. Spiteful. Even Linhardt’s face appears there once, he thinks; and that possibility terrifies him. Julian was right, you know, it whispered, words sinking into his mind like the poisoned claws sinking deep to his bones. You weak, stupid, reckless, irrational cunt. Unworthy of the peerage, let alone of your family’s coveted title. You will never make anything of yourself other than an abject mess. To convince yourself otherwise is the highest of follies. Desist, now. Everyone will be happier with you out of the way.

“If everything you’ve ever done for me was from some misguided sense of pity, then stop. I’m not worth it. Maybe I’ve never been. Not like you.” (Goddess damn it, his hands are shaking; but he can bear it all; he must!) “Just tell it to me straight whether you want me to leave or stay, because whatever we’re not telling each other definitely isn’t helping.”

Honestly, even contemplating the possibility that he could lose his decade-long friend, could already have lost him with his own foolishness, pains him terribly, but maybe things would be better that way. Even if the closure he so desires is spit in his face like his brother’s slander (and Linhardt would be justified in such after what he’s starting to think was an unjustified rant), surely it will be enough to let him move on. Caspar’s sure he can bounce back; he always has… But it will be a damn sight harder without his old friend at his side.

(He’s still not looking at him. He’s too afraid to see what's surely there.)

@linhcrdt

[roguelikeboss]

My Favorite Games of 2020 ... So Far

2020 is garbage. But video games are not garbage. And so far this year has given us quite a few great ones. Now that we are (thankfully) halfway through this nightmare, here are my top five favorite games of the year.

5. Animal Crossing New Horizons

Talk about a lifesaver. Animal Crossing arrived at the absolute perfect time in all of our lives and provided us a wonderful little escape from the terror that awaited us outside our doors. While I can nitpick it to death one hundred times over, New Horizons gets by on its charm, simplicity, and addictive nature (as all Animal Crossing games do). I may have fallen off a bit over the past few months but it’s still an absolute joy to boot up and play when I need to clear my head.

4. DOOM Eternal

Hot DAMN is DOOM Eternal good. It’s perhaps the best power fantasy ever created, and takes everything you love about 2016′s DOOM reboot and cranks that shit to 11. It’s only failing is that it might be too much of a good thing, but every aspect - combat, level design, platforming - are meticulously designed and perfectly executed. It’s also super challenging and requires you be on your toes constantly, but once you get into a rhythm this is one of the coolest and most rewarding shooters ever made.

3. Final Fantasy VII Remake

I didn’t play the original FFVII until I was in high school, so my nostalgia and love for it isn’t nearly as strong as others’. But that didn’t dampen my excitement for the remake one bit. Sure it’s goofy and somewhat uneven (especially in the ending) but the production is absolutely stellar. The combat system is simple yet deep, the story is expanded in cool and exciting ways, and the music - my GOD the music. This is everything a remake should be, and I’m beyond excited to see what they do in the second part.

2. Kentucky Route Zero

Yeah I know I’m kinda stretching here a bit. Technically, Kentucky Route Zero came out in 2013. And 2014. And 2016. And 2020. But I didn’t play any of it until this year and boy am I glad I did. This game absolutely floored me, so much so that I'm still unable to correctly express my feelings about it. Heck, I can’t really tell you what it’s all about, let alone how it made me feel. I just know that it’s unlike any other adventure game I’ve ever played and is an experience that only video games can provide.

1. The Last of Us Part II

No other game had a bigger hill to climb that this one. Like so many other people, I love the first game I felt that a sequel was completely unnecessary. Couple that with delays, reports of terrible work conditions at Naughty Dog, multiple story leaks, a massive online hate campaign in response to those leaks, and the fact that we are currently smack dab in the middle of an actual viral pandemic, my excitement began to considerably wane leading up to release. How could I handle such a heavy and depressing game? And how could it possibly compare to the first game? Thankfully all of those fears were gone within the first few hours of play. Not only is Part II impeccably made from a technical standpoint (as to be expected) but its story is the perfect companion piece to the original’s. Themes of love, hatred, obsession, revenge, and forgiveness permeate its nearly 30 hour runtime. I rolled credits on it almost a week ago and it still hasn’t left my mind. Part II can proudly stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the original, and it is by far the best game I’ve played this year.

[glassandmetalwings]

Okay, headache is fading. Time to talk a bit about the movie. Just gonna jot down some (hopefully) spoiler-free thoughts.

Gonna keep it under the cut for anyone who wants to be completely in the dark.

This movie strays dramatically from the usual JP concept, and that’s good. It took risks to move the overall plot of the world as a whole along. I mean, the park is gone. That’s not a spoiler; it a tag on a poster. It’s the plot they handed us from the beginning. And I get why some people dislike it for that, but I feel it was a necessary change, and it was handled well. As much as I love it, we can only experience people trying to escape an island filled with dinosaurs so many times before it becomes tedious.

That’s not to say the plot of the film itself is just to ferry us to the next movie (which is supposedly the final chapter) in June 2021. Again, they were introducing new concept and taking old concepts in new directions, and they had to sell that change. It doesn’t feel like ‘let’s recycle this idea for a sequel...but it’s IN SPACE’. Good, believable characters, understandable motives, and it basically being a three-part film make it solid.

There’s really only one (maybe two) huge twists. A lot of people disliked the main one (all I will say is ‘genetic power has been unleashed’), but I’m glad it happened. It honestly felt like a natural step in the JP universe as a whole, and something that was going to happen eventually considering the technology was there.

There’s some praise going around for the movie’s...pacing? I’m hesitant to call it that, and you’ll find out why in a minute. But it’s action-packed to an absurd degree; rarely is there just dialogue, and things are constantly moving. Plus it’s easy to follow in terms of location: it’s ‘here to here to here to here’ with very little not shown on-screen. Never did I find myself wondering how we got to something, just because a cut removed it.

Atmosphere was great and moving. It was grim, as promised, with pepperings of humor that didn’t ruin it. You knew what you were getting into the moment the film started, and it kept that going the entire time.

I, specifically, feel like it did throwbacks and parallels well without being dependent on them to sell the connection with past films. Sometimes subtle, sometimes more obvious. Again, this is something people are torn on, but it feels to me a lot more like the original film than any of the others do. There’s also a great part at the end of the first act that is the perfect book-end, signaling, again, that we’re moving on to a greater-arching story. It’s heart-wrenching and I hope you all enjoy that.

As a more specific note...some of you may remember that part of what sold me on the Indoraptor was that, in the trailers, it felt more ‘monster’ than ‘dinosaur’. And that’s exactly what it is. Besides straying from the bipedal theropods we’ve grown accustomed to in this series, it’s primarily quadrupedal, but can easily switch between both stances. This might sound like a little thing, but honestly I feel like it, along with a few other features, make it deviate enough from the usual formula to create an impression that it’s primarily dinosaur in name. Throw in a very subtle reference (hint: keep an eye on the pictures on the walls and see if you can spot anyone familiar) and a scene where I swear that Indoraptor is smiling (hinting that it takes pleasure in some of it’s attacks and savors the lead-up, rather than killing for food or the sake of killing), and it cements how unnatural this creature truly is.

As usual, human hubris and greed account for almost all of the conflict and resulting danger in this plot. The small remained is just plain bad luck. I’d argue this is true for the series as a whole, given the base premise is ‘let’s bring dinosaurs back to life to create a theme park-what could go wrong?’ And this one really nails that, with the antagonists getting hit hard with karma.

So, overall, great movie. My main complaint is with what I would consider the ‘pacing’. To me, pacing is how quickly or slowly the story unfolds, rather than how easy it is to follow. And while the almost non-stop action was great...I feel like it could have benefited from some time to breathe and absorb all this new information.

After awhile I got a bit fatigued, which made what was clearly intense action feel less ‘edge of your seat’ like it should have been, and more like one very long sequence. There’s important information about Blue and her part in all of this that, while described, felt secondary-and it was incredibly plot-significant. The big twist is interrupted by a dino attack, not letting the news sink in. Stuff I now have to process outside of the movie, delaying the fridge horror of it. It’s a 2 hour and 10 minute movie, so I get that there was a time crunch to get everything in, but it needed a little more balance in that aspect.

Other than that...I would have liked more of the dinos to have been named, rather than just being there. Not every single dino, but all we got technically were velociraptor, t-rex, and Indoraptor, and then a few others (ankylosaurus and allosaurus) in passing, but the baryonyx, carnotaurus, stygimoloch, and even the mosasaurus played a greater role than those last two, and to the best of my memory weren’t mentioned by name at all.

Also the mosa just kind of...exists. At the beginning and end. And for some reason having it almost entirely independent from the main plot bothers me; it did some stuff to set the tone and that was it. While it only had three scenes in the last film, those scenes were important, and in my opinion no other attraction could fill that plot niche last time. Here, it was more shoehorned.

So that’s my vague attempt at a review. There were other little bits and pieces, but as so many people are saying, I went to see dinos run around and eat people, not to nitpick for accuracy and obsess over plot holes.

I’m hoping this doesn’t show up in the tags, but if it does please understand I’m a very causal JP fan and this is all my personal opinion from one viewing of the film.