#//THAT is the reason it started...then continuous exposure turned it into something uncontrollable; bordering madness when exposed to it

[oceanxveiined]

Her obsession with the Abyss, as well as each and every undertaking she's tasked herself with always had pretty much one common denominator and purpose–to assure her own well-being and safety. To ensure she would never be powerless in the face of a threat on her life ever again, however she can. It has been that way since she'd received her Vision, since she'd had to fight to protect her family, and each and every lethal encounter after that. At her very core, she wants to survive.

Admittedly though, even that will be secondary to not only whatever knowledge she seeks to gain from an encounter, but the assurance that her brother, or more recently her group will survive, regardless of whether it will doom her or not. Hence, it is why she will take such horribly reckless and seemingly thoughtless extremes of risk to herself in her information gathering. It's never been just her maddened drive to succeed and achieve that fuels it, but in fact because at least one of her most precious allies either stand behind her in the endeavor or happen to be one who will benefit most if she pushes to return to them with something to show for her efforts.

That, she will consider worth more than her own well-being, any day.