#[ leo walsh / * ft. theo walsh . ]

[sanctuarymade]

LEO AND THEO WALSH :  A STUDY IN CODEPENDENCY .

content warnings for:  drug use, child abuse, codependency, limb loss.

leo and theo have been inseparable from birth.  born only twenty minutes apart, completely identical, and each absolutely inconsolable in the absence of the other, they gave their parents a run for their money even as infants. they always had to be together, even if their needs didn’t completely line up  (which led to an interesting color coding system in the walsh household, where leo was always dressed in red and theo in blue, for leah’s fear that exhaustion would lead to the two getting mixed up, even if she could tell her babies apart from day one).  they even shared a crib.

growing up, their attachment to each other only grew, even as their personalities distinguished themselves, with leo far more laid back than his anxious brother. they shared toys, shared a room in their small childhood apartment, and even no matter how often leah got after them for it, theo would crawl into leo’s bed in the middle of the night through most of their childhoods. as they got older, their father died, their mother remarried, and the abuse started, this attachment only grew, with leo molding himself into his brother’s protector.

when sean’s abuse turned to the boys, leo would go to great pains to keep the attention focused on him, goading their stepfather and providing opportunities for theo to run and hide. this continued until their teen years. 

when leo got a job at a local gym, theo accompanied him to work, helping out even if he himself wasn’t officially employed, which was where they got the idea to take boxing classes with the plan of finally defending themselves and their mother from sean. 

shortly after they started high school, theo began experimenting with drugs. it started innocent enough, mostly just cigarettes and pot, but as sean grew more violent to prove a point as the boys hit their growth spurts, his escapism grew more desperate and he began to experiment with harder stuff, which led him to be more confrontational with sean, creating a vicious cycle despite leo’s constant attempts to interrupt it. when one day leo returned home to find his brother beaten almost beyond recognition, he snapped, turning on sean and retaliating with full strength, nearly killing the man in his rage and officially running him off. 

despite the absence of their abuser, theo’s substance abuse issues only escalated, culminating in an incident in which he stole leo’s insulin needles, nearly sending him into ketoacidosis. in a fit of rage, leah made to throw theo out of the house, to which leo came to his brother’s defense, blaming his mother for allowing sean into their lives in the first place, and the two left home together, picking up odd jobs and both joining an underground boxing league for cash. theo’s drug use continued, with leo unwilling to confront it or issue an ultimatum. 

from there, their reliance on each other grew only more unhealthy, as theo’s addiction grew worse and worse and leo’s enabling behavior did little to help. the two made a good career in boxing, and though leo was offered a professional contract about half a dozen times, he refused to take them, unwilling to leave his brother behind, for fear he’d spiral or do something otherwise harmful to himself in order to ‘keep up’. 

for years, theo’s addiction ruled leo’s life. being his brother’s caretaker and protector was the biggest part of leo’s identity. he lost jobs, friends, countless opportunities, primarily because he placed caring for his brother and making sure theo knew he was loved above all else. this came to a head in 2013 when theo, under the influence, crashed the car he was driving with leo in the passenger seat. infections and further complications resulted in leo’s left leg being amputated below the knee, and the results of theo’s drug test landed him in court mandated rehab. 

while in therapy to deal with the loss of his limb and potential career, leo was diagnosed with ptsd from his childhood, and put the word ‘codependent’ on his and theo’s relationship for the first time. he learned the difference between support and enabling, and that unconditional love and healthy boundaries were not mutually exclusive. it was a slow process, one that even cost him an engagement, but he began to slowly put up healthy walls, which theo challenged heavily at first, and their relationship, while still loving, was tense for years until his brother began actively seeking to turn his life around. 

they’re still not completely there, and can occasionally fluctuate between periods of codependency followed by periods of distance and coldness, but they’re getting there.