#[since you did mention wanting to reply to it which no rush ofc! i'm excited for the angst!]

[untilthcyrot]

things you said prompts | 12. things you said when you thought i was asleep asked by @freakarus

Sleep was supposed to be a sacred time for people; a way for the mind to recharge, for the body to relax, and for dreams to whisk you away from the woes of reality and transform you somewhere else. For Winnie, for as long as she could remember, sleep was a time when she could chance sleepwalking and the prospect was just as equally terrifying as the last. She could remember when she was a little girl, her mother would securely tuck her into bed and she would feel so warm and safe underneath that blanket. If she thought hard about it, she could still remember the way it smelled washed in that fabric softener her mother always bought. Once tucked in, her mother would place a kiss on the crown of her golden head and whisper "good night" before disappearing from the room completely. Moonlight slipped through the curtains onto her face. Instead of counting sheep, she counted the twinkles in the night sky as she was lulled to sleep.

But no dreams ever came during those nights. There was only darkness, this void that felt like a daze that she was lost in until slowly she was being pulled out of. It would take a few moments to comprehend but she'd realize that she wasn't in her bed anymore. Sleep blinked out of her eyes and she would find that she was standing in her backyard . . . or the driveway . . . or on those rare and terrifying occasions, somewhere in the woods behind her house. No memory of how she got there, crawling back into her bed shivering and scared. When her mother found out, she tried to get her help, but how do you explain a perfectly normal little girl sleepwalking? You look at her schizophrenic mother and make assumptions apparently.

The Gilded Hand knew why. It took a madman taking her as a child, taking all of the special children like her, and locking them away in an abandoned factory, to tell her that she had a unique ability that went beyond the human scope. Winnie had that ability to connect with the dead who had trouble crossing over. She was a beacon of light to the spirits who were lost and confused. They would be attracted to her like a moth to a flame, trying to reach out to her, to her light, and use it as a means of finally crossing over. The trouble was, that a little girl didn't always realize that her imaginary friends were ghosts, and she didn't know how to help them. And her mother? Well, maybe she worried that these friends she saw were all part of a sickness that she passed down to her, so she was hardly any help to her daughter.

Sometimes the spirits took it too far though, but was it something that they could really help either? After spending time walking the earth alone and unseen by the living, finding someone like Winnie was overwhelming for them and they found themselves desperate. They found that they couldn't just talk to her but possess her for a short amount of time. They felt the warmth of life again in her body - what it felt like to breathe air into their lungs, the warmth of a summer night, the taste of food again. They tried not to let any harm come to her, especially when she was a child, but the stress of being possessed would cause her body to reject the souls and she would end up sleepwalking wherever she was left alone again.

As she grew older, she was able to take back some control again. There were no more imaginary friends but spirits who needed her help and she tried to do just that before it affected her sleeping habits, but it couldn't always be stopped. The world was full of lost souls, unfortunately. Winnie had been terrified that Eddie would find her in the compromising position of wandering outside in a sleeping daze until he finally had. Maybe it scared him too, but...instead of rejecting her...he was there for her. That meant more to him than he would ever know. For a girl who never felt completely safe when she was laying in her bed trying to sleep, just him accepting that part of her made her feel that much better about her ability, about her whole self in general.

Tonight, as it felt like she was having one of those dreamless nights again, her eyes flung open in a panic. She was met with darkness that made her heart race, only imagining in those first few seconds where she could have ended up tonight if Eddie hadn't stopped her from leaving first if he had even been awake to notice. Relief was quick to sink in when she realized her blues were staring up at the ceiling and she turned her head to find Eddie sound asleep next to her. She hadn't realized her hand had clenched the drawstring to her hoodie, quickly releasing her grip as tension died down from the realization that her dreamless sleep was just that . . . a dreamless sleep, nothing more, nothing less.

Winnie turned over on her side, body shifting closer to Eddie so that she could feel the warmth of his body against her own. Something about that feeling . . . it made her feel safe and secure, just like when her mother tucked her underneath that blanket smelling of sweet fabric softener and kissing her on the head. Safe. She leaned her head against his shoulder, shutting her eyes before the tears could escape them.

❝ You're my armor, ❞ she whispered so quietly that she wouldn't have even thought she said them if she knew she hadn't. ❝ You make me feel safe when I shut my eyes and I'm scared about what's going to happen when I fall asleep. I know nothing will happen anymore because of you. ❞