#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’

[cryptiduni]

“white mourning.”

[probablyasocialecologist]

The full text of White Mourning is painful: You see yourself from above. You’re passed out on the blue tiles of the hostel room floor. Even from this distance you can see your eyelids flutter — at the mention of what? A great white object, letting out its sweet smell, like a Lily of the Valley. The little man’s forgotten its name, but he still remembers the feeling. And look, he moves! The feeling animates him. He instinctively reaches out for the feeling’s best friend — a bottle of Commodore Red. He puts on his disco clothes and gets smaller and smaller… …and the little guy gets smaller and smaller as you rise above the doll house world. You see him out in the snow, on the streets, in the shop on the corner, and, finally, in a matchbox house. Sitting by the window, white flowers on the windowsill. You can smell them from up here: it’s awful. A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce, or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you and him, make him smaller. Make him less you. Internalizing White Mourning pulls the camera back. Harry’s body, on the screen, becomes literally smaller and the world so much bigger. He takes in as much stimulus as he can in order to dissociate from his own personhood. This is one way of coping.

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

"You don't have to turn into that."

CUNO - He punches the air again. "Get your fucking nun ass out of here before Cuno fucks it dead." Another punch. "F****t. You think 'cause you took Cuno's speed, Cuno's gonna sob like a f*g?"

"'Turn into...'" He pants from exhaustion. "Cuno ain't turning into shit! Cuno *is*! CUNO *IS* THAT SHIT."

CUNOESSE - "Cuno won... You *won*, Cuno!" The relief is palpable. The little hat jumps up and down behind the fence.

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - He did not win. There is a crack in there now -- and it's spreading across the face of his certainty.

+5 XP

3. "There were tons of unpaid utility bills in there."

CUNO - "Fuck right there were. Fuckin' three years or some shit."

"Let me guess. Cuno's dad doesn't give a shit about them."

"That's no place to live in. You have to find somewhere else."

"Find a job. Pay them yourself. Your dad can't handle things anymore."

"Change of topics then."

CUNO - "Yeah, that's right." He swells with pride. "Cuno's dad doesn't give a shit about that electricity and light shit. Just wants to pound on people and drink."

2. "That's no place to live in. You have to find somewhere else."

CUNO - "That's right, it's a shit hole. Cuno's gonna move underground. Le Royaume shit, ancient shit. Cuno's gonna live in a fucking catacomb."

CUNOESSE - "Yeah, in a tomb, Cuno!" The little one seems overjoyed at the prospect.

4. "I did right not to give you the drugs. Let's conclude this." (End the conversation.)

CUNO - "That didn't change shit, pig. That only made things worse. Fucking social worker shit... It doesn't *work* pig."

CUNOESSE - "It doesn't work, Cuno! Only our shit works."

EMPATHY [Formidable: Success] - She tries to bind their fates together. She needs him. Bad.

We don't have enough money to buy the FALN pants right now (and we need that money for a room tonight), so that ends our conversation with Cuno.

5. "Okay, I'm off. [Leave.]

CUNO - "Cuno doesn't fucking care."

THOUGHT COMPLETE: WHITE MOURNING

BONUSES: +20% Zoom out distance All Motorics learning caps raised by 1

...and the little guy gets smaller and smaller as you rise above the doll house world. You see him out in the snow, on the streets, in the shop on the corner, and, finally, in a matchbox house. Sitting by the window, white flowers on the windowsill. You can smell them from up here: it's awful. A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce, or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you and him, make him smaller. Make him less *you*.

To be honest, I don't use the zoom feature anyway. The ability to put more points into our yellow skills will be incredibly useful, though.

Per the vote, I equip the 'Some Sort of Superstar' Thought. I also equip the Auditor glasses to somewhat offset the penalty to Logic.

[alilanimegirl]

...and the little guy gets smaller and smaller as you rise above the doll house world. You see him out in the snow, on the streets, in the shop on the corner, and, finally, in a matchbox house. Sitting by the window, white flowers on the windowsill. You can smell them from up here: it's awful. A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce, or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you and him, make him smaller. Make him less *you*.

(DISCO ELYSIUM - THOUGHT CABINET)

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

HII im new here and i LOVE the way u write 😭😭🫶🫶 trust me when I say that when I stumbled upon ur prince!gojo fic i fell to my knees. The way u wrote about his devotion and feelings for the knight 🥹🥹🥹🥹 ITS SO GOOD i read some of Ur other fics and the way u write suguru is so perfect like i don't usually read suguru fics cause ppl usually tend to mischaracterize him but U WROTE HIM SO PERFECTLY and im here to just appreciate ur writing and ask if there are any books or films that inspired the way u write? Genuinely curious 🙏🙏

ANON 🥺🥺🥺😭😭 u r the absolute SWEETEST welcome to my silly lil blog!!!!! i cant tell u how much it means to get messages like this and knowing that ppl enjoy my writing T_T thank u so so much!! <333

and wahh!! the fact that u like how i characterize sugu is also such an honour to me…. ive said this before but i rly do think hes so complex and multifaceted so it means a lot to know ppl enjoy my version of him 🥺🥺

AND AND AND…… we are so linked anon. i was literally JUST thinking abt different writing sources that inspire me (bc there are a Lot psjdjs)……. 

i think that just in general i try to emulate the kind of writing that i like the most!! so my writing style is probably like… just one big patchwork of every book/movie/game ive ever loved LMAO. but here are a couple of the most prominent!! 

first off all… poetry!!! :D a lot of books have probably inspired me too but i think poetry especially!!! since its usually so full of imagery its just become a super big inspo source…. :’3 some of my absolute fave poets are frank bidart, clementine von radics, AAAAAAND richard siken <333 hes my favorite ever and inspires me sm. my fave poetry collection of his is war of the foxes literally every single poem in it is so jjk coded ……

aaaa but also…. poetry aside!! i love kurt vonnegut a lot. his writing is so nice!!!!!! i recommend him a ton!!!!!!!! 

AAAAND honestly anon…….. my biggest inspiration source ever ever ever when it comes to writing is disco elysium!!!!!!! its my fave game and honestly probably just my favorite writing source in general? if u havent played it or watched someone play it pls do urself a favor and do so….. the writing is so earth-shatteringly good and pretty it makes me jealous. it’s such a genuinely funny game too (but also so so heartfelt!!!)…. gosh. i love disco elysium like i love nothing else in this universe.

if u play it and then read my fics its GLARINGLY obvious how much its affected my writing i think psjdjd 😭😭 here r some quotes from it for reference!! they’re so good it makes me cryyy

the last dream will be total annihilation. cinders peeling off the fuselage.

a white mourning. a modern death. divorce, or something similar. all you can do is put more distance between you and him, make him smaller. make him less *you*.

”every combination of words has been played out. the atoms don't form us anymore: us, our love, our unborn daughters…”

”where *are* we, lieutenant kitsuragi?” ”in elysium,” he replies, “behind our eyes. like all human beings, detective. (…) the world is what it is. i’m glad to see you’re stable. keep it that way.”

SORRY im just. so genuinely obsessed w this game psjfjdj i seriously could not recommend it enough!!!!

aaaa but what abt u anon??? do u have any sources that inspire u? or general recommendations? 👀👀 i would love to hear em if so!!! <33

[suncitygirls]

honest to god me when i put on my disco clothes and then have a crisis

You see yourself from above. You’re passed out on the blue tiles of the hostel room floor. Even from this distance you can see your eyelids flutter -- at the mention of what? A great white object, letting out its sweet smell, like a Lily of the Valley. The little man’s forgotten its name, but he still remembers the feeling. And look, he moves! The feeling animates him. He instinctively reaches out for the feeling's best friend -- a bottle of Commodore Red. He puts on his disco clothes and gets smaller and smaller…

...and the little guy gets smaller and smaller as you rise above the doll house world. You see him out in the snow, on the streets, in the shop on the corner, and, finally, in a matchbox house. Sitting by the window, white flowers on the windowsill. You can smell them from up here: it's awful. A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce, or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you and him, make him smaller. Make him less *you*.

[spiceestew]

WHITE MOURNING

...and the little guy gets smaller and smaller as you rise above the doll house world. You see him out in the snow, on the streets, in the shop on the corner, and, finally, in a matchbox house. Sitting by the window, white flowers on the windowsill. You can smell them from up here: it's awful. A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce, or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you and him, make him smaller. Make him less *you*.

[stonedlennon]

I've read this somewhere and i can't help but think about it a lot: do you think that the relationship of john-yoko and paul-linda are very similar, albeit manifested and viewed differently because of the people involved? like they're the inseparable, co-dependent type? and what do you think, if ever, does this say about the relationship of j/p? minimum 700 words, doubled space, 1 inch margin on all sides lol jk luv u

so this is literally one million years old and i apologize so much for that. honestly i’ve been trying to think of a way to frame my answer, because (as you all know by now) i try to give as balanced a point of view as i possibly can; in the interests of fairness i want to highlight anything that could be relevant. also, don’t joke about the double spacing. i’d probably do it, lmao!

here’s the thing. i don’t really think so. and the reason i say that is because you have to break down those respective relationships in two ways: 1. the way they manifested; and 2. the way they have been perceived. these are, whilst not diametric opposites, still intrinsic to way you can hope to analyse something like a personal relationship without falling into wild assumptions. i’ll use your two points of reference - inseparable and co-dependent - as a framework for this discussion.

on the first point: manifestation. john and yoko’s relationship was by definition public, and i don’t necessarily mean only in their new york existence with bed peace, et al., but their fight for kyoko, their constantly traveling around the world, gibraltar, and so on. paul and linda, by comparison, were relatively private, mainly towards the late 60s and the breakdown of the beatles and paul’s sadness beard and all that. john and yoko had reported drug dependence, they went to court. and yes paul was stuck for possession as well, but the narrative has been framed somewhat differently. not to get on too much of a tangent. but john reacted almost consistently with belligerence and - dare i say it - entitlement when it came to certain situations. paul was the diplomat, the one with the smooth cold smile and a degree of boyish candor that played very differently to wild john lennon who went off with an artist and had all these adventures. the way their relationships manifested was as much perpetuated by the media then as it has been in subsequent years - hence my second point: perception. 

john, even when he was a beatle, was the “clever” one, the tricky one, the bloke who always had a plain-speaking attitude to him that somewhat fascinated the media, who were more used to performers like paul. keep in mind i’m only talking about them from an outsider’s perspective - we know that paul could be canny and cruel just as much as john. but the difference is that when john/yoko and paul/linda manifest, the media already built boxes for them to fit into. their rivalry took on something of a mythology. an extension of that logic is that yoko represented an underdog (and i do think this is true): diminutive, artistic, strange, somewhat unearthly, steadfast by the troublesome john lennon. linda: the professional, an attractive white woman, divorced (but not scandalously so), american (not so great), a mother (bonus points: heather had a very public role in the paul/linda relationship whereas kyoko was somewhat mysterious [not least because she was busy being kidnapped]). on the same note, you cannot remove the aspect of race from this equation. yoko suffered horrendous racial slurs that continue to this day. there is an aspect of orientalism to the idea that yoko, “the bad one”, “lured” john away from the beatles. like.. she’s a woman, not an evil fairytale figure. i absolutely contend that the discussion/situation would be different were she a white woman. 

SO with all that in mind, that jumble of thoughts, i don’t think their relationships were similar. when you say co-dependent, do you mean linda’s presence in paul’s life to the point of joining the band? or the fact that they rarely spent a day apart? keep in mind that all of this is just me theorizing. but inasmuch as yoko was supportive of john, she also isolated him, they encouraged and enabled each other to take drugs, and they made a concentrated effort to remove themselves from society - they also, with some rare exceptions, did not have a child to look after; they were one unit. paul and linda, on the other hand, went to scotland in order to escape, however i don’t believe they refused to see people or to go down to london occasionally. they were also raising heather, who required a stable home life on account of being a child in need of support. there is also the question of energy. i do not deny that yoko was what john needed at a point in his life - i made a post a while ago defending her, because i do genuinely think yoko has been treated abysmally by the fandom and the public.

by energy i am circling back to the idea of media perception. linda and paul’s relationship has been framed by picturesque photographs of them in the countryside (and note what the countryside implies: fresh air, health, happiness, tradition - especially in the pastoral british mind). john and yoko were city dwellers, standing outside court, yoko a tiny little dark figure hovering by john as he sounds off about something or another, them in new york - america! what does that represent to the british mind? modernism, isolationism, the avant-garde. john and yoko were perceived as “other”: edgy, stylish, strange, artistic. paul and linda are tradition: white, happy, country-dwelling, supportive of each other. 

it’s impossible to know the realities of their relationships. we have fragments, and we can guess, but you really can’t detract the power the media and the beatle mythology has played into the framing of these two relationships. there is also the fact that posthumous recollection plays a powerful role. linda’s death, as a woman, a mother, a wife, is very different to john, martyred, murdered, genius. yoko is the grieving widow who has “sunk her claws” into “john’s estate” to “better herself”. paul is the grieving widower who had a very slow and public mourning period, but who did “move on” eventually. to this day people imply that yoko didn’t mourn john “enough” - not to mention the damaging fact that she shacked up with sam havadtoy very soon after. paul however appeared “genuine” in his grief. sex and gender play strongly in these two situations, as they have throughout the john/yoko and paul/linda dichotomy. they are presented as binary opposites: “good” and “bad”. the connection to the beatles also means that it can be revealing who you side with: the artistic yoko; or the independent linda. it’s akin to the “which beatle are you” magazine quizzes back in the 60s. it’s somewhat perverse.

i feel like i’ve said so much and yet nothing at all. i would like to discuss john/paul in perhaps another post? if you’re interested, let me know? but with regards to the john/yoko and paul/linda situation, i think they were presented as fundamentally different right from the beginning. right from the beginning. so we are only ever able to receive information that has been pre-filtered. we will never know the truth from the evidence we have. but by turning the evidence around, we can know that the way linda/yoko were portrayed says a lot about the culture of the 60s-80s; the media portrayal of women in relation to musicians; the role these women played in the break up of one of the world’s biggest bands; and the role they played in subsequent constructions of john and paul’s respective public identities and images. identities and images, it must be said, that were strong enough to resonate even through to today, to the point where we, in 2017, are debating the issue. that is some powerful media spin.