#‘she didn’t need to react that way’ ITS REALISTIC. SHE WAS FOURTEEN.

[percki]

“we need more complex female characters” you guys couldn’t even handle 14yo katara. be so fr

[ignot0]

Frightful Witches and Kissable Toads: How Folktales Nourish the Soul

One day Baba Yaga's two believed frogs stated,

"You are really frightening!"

"Great!" said Baba Yaga, "in light of the fact that that is what I'm here for."

from The Wise Doll by Hiawyn Oram.

As an expert storyteller, I need to admit my biases. I am absolutely and enthusiastically infatuated with the class of folktales. Indeed, there are folktales that are exhausting or excessively rough or model awful qualities. These are the frog stories and indeed, at times one needs to kiss a couple of amphibians before finding the rulers and princesses of story. Additionally, if your primary introduction to the exemplary fantasies has been Walt Disney movies or books, you might be uninformed of the prior, earthier and all the more fulfilling variants. As my companion and ace storyteller Brian Hungerford frequently wryly asides, 'There is a unique spot in damnation for Walt Disney.' (1) Many grown-ups appear to be additionally to have lost the capacity to decipher the allegories in folktales. This leads them to confound sovereign and princess stories with frogs and miss the potential in folktales to recuperate, alleviate and model methods for being for their youngsters and themselves, in an engaging and grasping way. In this way I need to write in protection and in recognition of my old buddies and darlings.

Image source Folktales are frequently dismissed for their savagery, their 'sappy vision' and upbeat ever-after endings and for being about rulers and sovereigns. For me, those things didn't stress me, yet the sexual orientation generalizations did. So I abstained from telling the exemplary Grimm's stories and decided to tell progressively bizarre folktales with dynamic champions. However, two encounters switched that dismissal. The first was my child's conspicuous get a kick out of Little Red Cap (Red Riding Hood), Rapunzel, Goldilocks, Rumplestiltskin and Jack and the Bean Stalk. (2) He was then two years of age. The second was perusing a book called The Uses of Enchantment by Bruno Bettelheim. Right off the bat, for what reason are there such huge numbers of lords and sovereigns in folktales? Maybe you partner the government with tyrannical force, inbreeding and money related disparity. However emblematically, the lord and sovereign speak to our entire, develop and advanced selves. Lords and sovereigns in an original sense, have high confidence and the insight to settle on significant choices. They show steadfast supporters, can withstand resistance and live in a condition of wealth.

Additionally, Bettelheim says,

'Each kid sooner or later wishes that he were a ruler or princess - and on occasion, in his oblivious, the youngster accepts he is one, just briefly corrupted by conditions. There are such huge numbers of rulers and sovereigns in fantasies in light of the fact that their rank implies outright force, for example, the parent appears to hold over the kid. So the fantasy sovereignty speak to projections of the kid's creative mind'

Brutality in Folktales

Presently, how about we address viciousness in folktales. There are two things I'd prefer to consider here. The first is age propriety. The second is sifting through positive stories from dangerous stories.

I have recorded a CD of stories (3) and the primary track, Molly Whuppie, is a customary Scottish folktale wherein Molly outmaneuvers and surpasses a mammoth who needs to eat her and her sisters. My child's companion, a manly kid who is four and a half, fears the story Molly Whuppie, while his more youthful sister and my child have adored it since they were two. So it's not simply age you have to consider, and absolutely not sexual orientation, yet singular demeanor. My multi year old reveres terrifying stories and asks for them continually. I ask 'Are you certain this isn't unreasonably frightening for you?' He shakes his head determinedly 'No' and asks for a tale about a witch who eats youngsters. Indeed, for my child, his bad dreams facilitated, at that point stopped, when we started recounting stories like Red Cap (the more seasoned form of Little Red Riding Hood), Jack and The Beanstalk and Baba Yaga. I perceive that the inverse could be valid for certain youngsters whenever given an inappropriate story excessively youthful. They are acceptable medication, however you need to get the measurement right. (4)

Giving a chronicled setting on our mentalities towards folktale, Joseph Campbell, a world expert on folklore and folktales stated, 'The "colossal, silly and unnatural" themes of folktale and fantasy are gotten from the stores of dream and vision. On the fantasy level, such pictures speak to the all out condition of the individual dreaming psyche...but explained of individual bends and profounded - by artists, prophets, visionaries-, they become emblematic of the otherworldly standard for Man the Microcosom. They are hence states from a picture language, expressive of magical, mental and sociological truth. What's more, in the crude, oriental, age-old and medieval social orders this jargon was contemplated and pretty much comprehended. Just in the wake of the Enlightenment has it out of nowhere lost its significance and been articulated crazy.' (5)

Youngsters instinctually react genuinely and unknowingly to the similitudes installed in stories, on the off chance that they are permitted to. Unknowingly and sincerely they perceive the witch, the monster and the wolf as the terrifying part of grown-ups as well as themselves. At the point when I am fatigued and depleted and the infant is crying and my multi year old energetically hits me one too often in the wake of being asked not to, I can transform into something much the same as a wolf, a witch as well as a mammoth. This is completely dazing to a youngster. Where did that pleasant mummy go who is lively and cherishing and on my side? It tends to be simpler to envision that mummy or daddy or grandmother or educator or whoever, has been briefly taken over by an abhorrent beast, than to think about that they are equipped for being so startling. Consequently, grandmother is overwhelmed by the poser Riding Hood.

Goliaths as a rule symbolize that side of our temperament that is cantankerous, childish, uncaring, silly and mean. In any case, to youngsters, the approaching stature and extreme control over them that grown-ups have, implies unwittingly grown-ups are their mammoths. This is enhanced when we are irritable, however in any event, when we are sensible, we can in any case appear to be frustratingly ground-breaking. Regardless of on the off chance that you are the most reasonable and quiet parent on the planet, your youngster will in any case appreciate fantasizing that they can be the chief and even annihilation you. As a general rule, they need your insurance, direction and limits to have a sense of security, and obviously they would prefer truly not to see you come to hurt. You are their darling and the focal point of their reality. In any case, in a story, they can unwittingly have those darker wants satisfied with no genuine mischief coming to you.

Moreover, says Bettleheim,"...whatever the substance of a fantasy - which may run corresponding to a youngster's private dreams whether they be oedipal, wrathfully vicious, or deprecating of a parent - it very well may be transparently discussed, in light of the fact that the kid doesn't have to keep mystery his sentiments about what goes on in the fantasy, or feel regretful about getting a charge out of such contemplations."

So folktales can give youngsters access to methods for managing their characteristic feelings of trepidation, wraths and disappointments. Folktales - even numerous with vicious pictures, can give kids significant approaches to manage these befuddling emotions. A few stories may display a sort of conduct that is improper. In Molly Whuppie I have ventured to change a huge piece of the story, on the grounds that the goliath's significant other - who had really been useful to Molly - was thumped and this was set as clever. This most likely originated from a period in history when spouse beating was viewed as adequate and the standard. Be that as it may, the stunt is in separating a story that is in itself debilitated, from a solid one with a wiped out piece. We don't have to discard the good along with the bad. A tad of medical procedure made the story adequate to me.

In 2003, I had an extremely clear close to home understanding of the recuperating and engaging characteristics of people stories. I was expected to go on visit to Sydney for fourteen day's work narrating, however I was feeling truly terrified.

My work on visit includes conveying twelve to fifteen performance shows seven days. Each show comprises of 120 to 150 offspring of blended ages. I need to drive and explore through pinnacle hour traffic to two city areas daily. This time, I was taking my then three yr old Tamlyn and my bosom bolstered child Layla, who was four months, and would need to come to appears with me, while Tamlyn would be best off left in one spot. This implied I required a carer for every youngster, except nobody could do basically everything. I was altogether restless, Layla was crying seriously in short vehicle excursions and I believed I was confronting an incomprehensible undertaking. Anyway I was likewise resolved to do it, so I needed to discover the fearlessness.

Simultaneously, I was learning The Wise Doll, a variant of a customary story about Baba Yaga, the witch of Slavic and Russian convention, by Haiwyn Oram. Baba Yaga's home is encompassed by a fence made of bones: little bones, since she jumps at the chance to have little kids for supper. It's a really realistic and brutal picture. Her home stands on chicken legs and when she needs to travel she basically directions: "Rise chicken legs, rise and RUN!" and the chicken legs ascend, and the house ascends and the chicken legs convey the entire house forward with the fence of bones encompassing it. The "Too Nice Girl" is sent to Baba Yaga's home in the woodland, in the night to visit Baba Yaga and bring back a blessing. With the assistance of her Wise Doll, given to her by her mom before she kicked the bucket, the scared young lady breezes through three assessments, gains the blessing and her mental fortitude too. In reality the blessing speaks to her fortitude.

The more I practiced it, the more I felt fearlessness ascending in me - for if a youthful frightened young lady could go to the place of a youngster eating witch, alone in the center of the night, what was two weeks acting in Sydney with two little kids?

This is one reason why the unnerving characters in society stories should be so distinctive. In the event that, by relating to a saint or courageous woman in a folktale, you can vicariously encounter confronting and triumphing over an overwhelmingly alarming adversary, at that point confronting your own genuine difficulties appears to be much simpler and do-capable. It is a mentally enabling exper

[arnavsinghraizada]

Of ASR, Amygdala Reactivity, and Arousal Response

Thanking @phati-sari​ greatly for tagging me in that ask she got, and giving me the opportunity to finally let this monster see the light of day! 

Below is a diagnostic dissertation (LOL  on a scale of 1- Shivaay Singh Oberoi, how pretentious do I sound right now?) discussing Arnav Singh Raizada’s very obvious PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), using diagnostic criteria obtained from the DSM-5 (found on page 275)

A note: This, as mentioned in my episode guides (which are currently under construction but can be found here), does not serve as a justification as much as an explanation for his behaviour. 

An apology in advance for the biological/psychological jargon I’m about to throw around here, but just shoot me an ask if you need/want any clarification on anything. 

**This is kind of long so I will be putting it under a cut!

What is PTSD?

PTSD is a stress/trauma related disorder that is derived from either direct or indirect exposure to a traumatic event. This usually occurs in one of the following ways: - Directly experiencing the traumatic event - Witnessing, in person, the event as it occurred to others - Learning that traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or friend - Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s)  The stressors that are usually related to the development of PTSD include a serious accident, a natural disaster, a criminal assault, military combat, abuse, witnessing traumatic events** (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). 

In order to be diagnosed with PTSD, exposure to a traumatic event is necessary as well as symptoms, that persist for longer than 1 month following the trauma, from all of the following clusters: - Intrusion Symptoms (intrusive thoughts, nightmares, flashbacks, distressing memories) - Dissociative Symptoms  - Avoidance (avoiding thoughts, feelings, physical reminders of the trauma. Also avoiding places or events that trigger distressing recollections) - Negative alternations in mood or cognition (persistent negative views about oneself or the world, distorted cognitions leading to placing blame on oneself or others, frequent negative emotions, unable to feel positive emotions, emotional detachment from others) - Arousal and changes in reactivity** (irritability that leads to physical and verbal aggression, reckless behaviour, hyper-vigilance, heightened physiological reactivity)

All of the above information was verified by the DSM-5 

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.

What’s Going On? 

There are multiple areas of the brain implicated in a heightened stress response. Within the sensorimotor cortex (responsible for sensory and motor functions), there is increased activation causing jitteriness and hyper-vigilance. Within the parahippocampal gyrus (which functions in memory encoding and retrieval), there is a stronger level of connectivity with the medial prefrontal cortex as well as decreases in its volume.  In the prefrontal cortex (a key emotional regulator as well the part of the brain that is active in “determining your personality,” there is a decrease in grey and white matter density and decreased responsiveness to emotional stimuli, prompting what is often seen as being cold and unresponsive. In the amygdala (which functions in conditioned fear and associative learning), there is an increased responsiveness to traumatic stimuli (Ray, 2015). 

What this leads to is the amplification of the fear response, and impairs its extinction. In layman’s terms this means that, that gut-clenching feeling you get when you’re faced with a spider, or a clown - or whatever you’re afraid of - doesn’t go away for these individuals very easily. 

There are risk factors, that include pre-existing conditions such as anxiety or depression and negative emotions such as anger and hostility**. 

Okay... but what about Arnav?

Now you may be saying, well Amrit that’s fine and dandy and all, but what does this have to do with Arnav Singh Raizada? Excellent question and that was, in fact, the point of this entire post. 

Arnav starts displaying intrusive symptoms as soon as the first episode, all of 2 minutes after he’s introduced. He is frequently shown to suffer from flashbacks, have nightmares, and be easily set off by any reminders of the night of his mother’s suicide.  (Keep in mind that we didn’t know exactly how deep-running Arnav’s trauma was until he revealed that she had committed suicide in front of him in Episode 315. 

So what do we know? 

Fourteen year old Arnav witnessed his parents committing suicide

Was thrown out of his house after the fact

Cared for his sister and took on responsibility of the house 

 At fourteen, all I was doing was eating Popeye’s biscuits and crying over IPKKND .... not that anything has changed

I have too much time on my hands to be writing this post

Going back to symptoms - 

If I were to sit here and list every episode that Arnav showed symptoms in, we would be here a long time. In Episode 315 alone, he shows symptoms (nightmares, flashbacks, distressing thoughts, trouble sleeping, irritability, negative emotions) a grand total of no less than 10 times, I literally lost count at that point. 

Cute? Very much so externally, but also where you see him displaying negative emotional responses, and the beginnings of irritability which leads to the aggressive act of flinging her arms off of him. 

This is all due to changes in his reactivity - this is not how people usually react to their loved one’s attempt at cheering them up. 

Majority of Arnav’s symptoms can be found in the clusters of arousal and reactivity, intrusive symptoms, and negative alterations in mood or cognition. 

Considering that intrusive symptoms are somewhat self-explanatory, everyone can recognize the flashback™️, I will explain the other two clusters. 

Negative Alterations in Mood or Cognition

Persistent negative views about oneself and the world

In Episode 333, Arnav calls himself “a bloody failure,” implying that he is the problem, he is the one who is unable to protect the people he loves from harm. Somehow, all of this ends up resting on his shoulders. 

In Episode too many to count but I’m going to go with Episode 159, Arnav expresses his disdain with the world and with love and wishing for things and basically everything good in the world. 

“yeh duniya itni hi bedard hai. This world is just as heartless as it always was.”  

Distorted cognitions leading to self-blame or blaming others

In Episode 333, Arnav says “uss raat bhi main kuch nahin kar paya. I couldn’t do anything that night either.” This implies that he believes that he feels he could have stopped his mother’s suicide somehow, could have intervened in some way but didn’t manage to do so. Realistically, we know that there was nothing a fourteen year old boy could have done, no way he could have predicted it. 

Frequent negative emotions

See Episodes 1-361 

literally

I - i just can’t sit here and list every temper tantrum he’s ever had 

It is note worthy to see that after expelling Shyam from the house, Arnav’s intrusive symptoms disappeared. More accurately, Arnav’s intrusive symptoms disappeared in Episode 353 when he married Khushi, but his symptoms of aggression and irritability persisted. 

Arousal and changes in reactivity

Irritability that may result in aggression (verbal or physical)

Um... see Episodes 1-398

A bit of a blanket statement, sure, but Arnav’s reactivity is a symptom that rears its ugly head long after Shyam has been ousted once and for all. 

All the way up to Episode 392 we see him getting angry and being verbally aggressive

Though tbh that whole Mrs. India, finding out your wife is competing when she falls on her face in front of you on the runway - lol yeah same Arnie, me too. 

Another thing to note is that Arnav’s physical aggression has all but vanished by this point. From the time him and Khushi entered a legitimate relationship (Episode 314 onwards), Arnav’s episodes of physical aggression are virtually non-existent.

If only antidepressants worked on Tellywood leads the way love does. Although I do still maintain that perhaps alteration of serotonin levels and reducing amygdala reactivity would be slightly more reliable. 

Reckless or self-destructive behaviour

See Episode 190 and the duration of the “hate” part of the “hate-marriage.” 

Reckless to marry your sister-in-law’s sister? Coerce her into marrying you, really? Blackmail, actually. CHECK! Also very morally questionable but hey you do what you gotta do, I suppose. Self-destructive? ALSO MAJOR YES.

A lot of people don’t realize this, but that marriage was just as toxic for Arnav as it was for Khushi. He, originally, was in love with her and willingly and knowingly tied himself to a woman who he believed had used him to get close to his brother-in-law. 

Although, Arnav, if she was a gold-digger, why go for the small fish when she had the great white, aka you, wrapped around her finger?

Think of these things before you go on marriage rampages, would you?

My poor, stupid son

And that is where I shall end this ridiculously long post. If you’re still here, wow thank you, I did not expect that. 

Again, you know where to find me if you have any questions or comments! If you disagree well then just keep those comments to yourself maybe , then that’s fine too!