#“clark two of them got into a screaming match and blew down a wall”

[evengayerpanic]

Little Piece of Heaven.

So that finale was something, wasn’t it?! Look, I am thrilled with the fact that ADC showed up, but not exactly thrilled at the direction they took. Clarke’s happy ending? Is still without the love of her life, is still without her child(ren)... I think not, so in a giant middle finger to JROT, I fixed it with what I would have wanted to see instead... Clarke’s last chance for happiness, and her family. Her entire family.

This is a warning!  HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD!!

_________________

“I don’t want to be alone!” Pain. That’s what it was, an intense and agonizing pain. Never seeing Lexa again, her baby Madi, her friends, family... Even the dog would be gone, taken from her to a better place. 

It was a nightmare, the one thing Clarke feared most.

The last time she had been left all alone; it had broken her, devastated her, destroyed her.

Clarke had almost given up... Almost.

But then she had found Madi, and that angry and terrified little girl, had turned into the child that Clarke never knew she had needed. Madi had saved Clarke.

There would be no Madi now.

“I don’t want to be alone.” She whispered, heart breaking into pieces at the thought of no Madi. Her bright, vibrant, sweet and stubborn little girl gone.

“You’re not.”

Clarke turned to face Lexa - no, not Lexa, the being that was wearing her as a mask, designed to hurt Clarke that much more. She hated that it took her face, but couldn’t help but feel comfort in seeing the woman’s face one more time, and hear her voice.

“What do you want?” Clarke shuddered. A lifetime of being alone was better than being stuck with the haunting memory of the woman she had lost.

The woman who was so familiar to Clarke bowed her head and smiled softly, a twinkle in her eye almost identical to the glimmer that graced Lexa’s all those years ago. “To give you a second chance, Clarke.”

With those words, Clarke felt herself pulled to the ground by some unseen force, before the sensation of falling took over. She was falling, and falling, with nowhere to possibly land, until suddenly-

_________________

“Ahhhh!” Clarke let out a shriek as she flung herself up, struggling violently as she fought to free her legs from the bindings that trapped them. It was not metal though, nor wood, nor any kind of shackle that she had imagined was keeping her constrained.

Instead it was fabric, soft and warm, and looking down at the blanket that covered her bottom half, for a moment she thought she was back home. 

Her original home, up in space, with her Mother.

The down-filled cloud of a blanket that was bathed in a swirling shades of green design was decidedly not one from back home though. Those blankets, while comfortable, had always been slightly itchy and not nearly warm enough for cold space nights.

This blanket... well, it matched the room that Clarke had woken up in, and that was her second tip off to the fact that she was not home, that she was somewhere completely unknown, despite the feeling of familiarity and absolute safety inside of her chest.

The room was in the same hues that the blanket was, greens and rustic wooden fixtures. More than that though, it had pictures, all sorts of pictures. A dog chasing a blonde toddler through the waves of a beach, a brunette little girl (that looked very familiar) blowing candles off of a birthday cake.

What got her the most was the sound of steps clattering down a hallway, where the sound would once make her jump, something about it felt so natural. Even as the door swung open, her body didn’t react until she saw the person in the doorway fully.

“Mom! Are you okay, I heard a scream?” Clarke felt her heart squeeze painfully and tightly in her chest.

Madi.

Madi was here. Awake, conscious, alive. Madi was perfectly fine, and she was right here, in front of her.

The next words out of Clarke’s mouth barely sounded like they were English as she cried out. “Madi?!” Then she was throwing the blankets off of her and running to her child, wrapping the girl in her arms as Clarke clung on for dear life and wept into Madi’s shoulder.

The girl stood stock still, wrapped up in Clarke’s embrace for a moment. She might not have been a child anymore, but she still could appreciate the warmth of her Mother. “What’s going on?” She whispered, acknowledging that something was clearly wrong, but not moving away from the hug regardless. She was a rather intuitive child.

Clarke opened her mouth to explain, but taking in the way that Madi was dressed, she closed it again and reconsidered. This was not the way she had left things, this was not how Madi and her were, something was different and until Clarke knew what it was, it seemed better to just hold her baby tightly and take the special moment for what it was.

“Nightmare...” She covered quickly, quietly, only pulling back from Madi to look at her face, run her hands over the girls arms, and hopefully covertly check her for injury or anything not of the normal. “Something bad happened to you, and I couldn’t save you, it really shook me up.”

“Silly Mom.” Madi chuckled, running her shoulder into Clarke’s in a playful bump. “You’ll always save me, and if you can’t, then Mama will do it for you.”

“Mama...?” Clarke stalled, heart stopping again.

It couldn’t be, this was too good to be real. First Madi was alive and fine, but this? It was impossible.

And yet, as she looked around the room once more, she took in more of the photos on the wall.

Madi sandwiched between Clarke and Lexa, on a ski lift, the three of them wearing matching ski jackets. 

Lexa spinning Clarke around in a circle as the blonde laughed, and bright orange leaves blew into their hair.

This couldn’t be real, it was everything she had ever wanted, but also everything that Clarke knew she didn’t deserve to have. Not with her track record.

“She should be home soon, she called ten minutes ago to ask what I wanted from Starbucks, I think she’s grabbing you two a Pumpkin Spice Latte...”

Starbucks? Pumpkin Spice Latte? The words meant nothing to Clarke, especially after hearing that Lexa would be home any moment now. Lexa... Home.

Madi noticed the way that Clarke had froze and the girl reached out for her Mother to comfort her. “It must have been a really bad nightmare, it’s okay Mom, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

As Madi reassured her, Clarke loosened the grip on the young girl. Her heart still racing and her mind still swimming with the information she was being given.

If this was only just a dream, Clarke really hoped that she would never wake up again from it.

She was just getting used to the sight of her baby girl, alive and well, when she heard a door in the distance open and close, and a familiar voice call out.

“Madi, we’re home, come get your Pink Drink!”

Lexa.

She wanted to be calm, and reserved. Clarke wanted to not make a scene. Clearly in this dream, or whatever it was, Clarke was not exactly Clarke, and Madi was not exactly Madi, so therefore she expected that Lexa was probably not exactly Lexa.

At least not the things that they had gone through, the suffering they had encountered in the last years. 

That much was obvious with the way that this Madi wore her hair down, with pretty turquoise clips, and that this Madi wore a smile that reached her eyes.

Clarke didn’t want to upset Lexa, to cause her worry like Madi had over her behaviour. The goal was to be normal, to act normal... and yet?

The moment she heard Lexa’s voice come lilting down the hall, everything inside of Clarke broke down and she couldn’t help herself but run to the other woman, run and throw her arms around her neck.

Lexa let out a surprised sound, but didn’t falter, her arms coming around Clarke in return as she kissed the top of the blonde’s head gently and rubbed her back. “Now that’s one hell of a welcome home.”

Clarke mumbled into Lexa’s shoulder, refusing to lift her head from where it curled against her once lover. 

“I missed you so much, Lexa.”

“We were only gone for a few hours, and judging by the pajamas, you weren’t even awake for most of the time we were gone.” Lexa teased at Clarke.

“We?” There was more?

“Mom, I scored two goals! And it was on Andersen, he’s our best goalie, and I still got past him... Twice!”

Clarke turned her head towards the excited voice calling to her, only to come face to face with yet another ghost that had destroyed her from his death.

Aden.

The boy leaned against a wall, blonde hair just slightly falling into his eyes, as he sipped on something that vaguely resembled what Clarke knew from her childhood (while the ship’s kitchens still had some stocked for birthdays) as whipped cream.

Aden, the boy who had quickly stolen her heart with his honour and determination, even in the wake of Lexa’s death. Aden, who had ran to put himself between Clarke and Ontari. Aden, who had in the end lost his life in a battle that was not his, because of her.

Clarke reluctantly let go of Lexa, moving instead to Aden, the boy putting down his drink and running into the hug before Clarke could quite reach him.

“I never got the chance to tell you that I loved you, that I was so proud of you.” She whispered, only low enough for Aden to hear, the boy only squeezing her harder, to stop the tears that threatened to fall.

“You tell me that every day.” He murmured back to her, beaming from ear to ear as she dropped a kiss to his forehead. “So don’t worry, Mom, I know. I know.”

Pulling back from Aden, Clarke wiped the pinpricks of tears that were beginning to slide down her cheeks, and turned to Lexa and Madi, both sharing a look of concern that if Clarke hadn’t been so overwhelmed, she probably would have laughed at how alike they looked, how similar, how mother and daughter.

“We were only gone for Aden’s hockey practice, are you okay, Clarke?” Lexa voiced, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked her wife up and down slowly, the concern on her face growing. “Did something happen while we were gone? Is something wrong?”

“Mom said she had a nightmare.” Madi explained, backing up her mother with the same furrowing of her brows. “But she’s been acting really weird today.”

Clarke bowed her head, caught for something that she didn’t even understand. “I just need a moment.” She whispered, the words strangled and foreign.

The look in Lexa’s eyes softened as she turned back to Madi, and looked over at Aden who had resumed drinking his frappucino, before nodding and ushering the two away from Clarke. “Come on you two, how about I make pancakes for breakfast while your Mom has a moment to wake up properly?”

“But shouldn’t we-” Madi started, turning around to look at her Mom, stood still in front of the bathroom.

“Sounds good Mama, let’s go Mads.” Aden cut her off, pulling his little sister away to give Clarke space.

_________________

It was only when she was alone and locked away in the washroom that Clarke was able to finally let out the feelings she had been holding in.

“Oh my god...” Broke free as she began to sob, reality sinking in, and a wave of emotion washing over her.

Lexa... The memory of holding Lexa, begging her to stay, as she watched the light fade from her eyes.

Aden... Watching Ontari pull his head out of a bag, wanting to throw up, and scream, and kill the woman for taking away such a sweet and innocent boy.

Madi... Crying out loud for her baby, holding her as she realized that her headstrong and stubborn daughter was nothing more than a listless body.

And now all three of them were here, with her. They were safe, they were happy, they were alive.

“This can’t be real,” Clarke whispered. “It can’t be real.”

“It is real.” Clarke looked up in the mirror and found herself staring back. Only this Clarke looked more the way she remembered, dirt, and anger, and grime. 

A glance down at what she was wearing told her that this wasn’t her reflection, but something bigger.

It must be the Judge.

“I don’t understand,” Clarke stared, “I failed the test.”

“Yes, you did fail, and so, you do not get to transcend.” Her mirror-self explained, in the same monotone that befell the image of Lexa what felt like forever ago, before Clarke had woken up to new life.

“Then what is this?”

“A second chance.” A chill ran down Clarke’s spine. “You were right about one thing, Clarke Griffin, you have suffered... Much more than one person ever should have. You have suffered, and been in pain, and my people understand how you have felt.”

Clarke blinked back tears as the memories swarmed her again. Lexa, Aden, Madi, all of them ripped from her. All of them gone before it was their turn.

“This is to say thank you, to acknowledge your suffering, and give you a chance to have peace.”

“Is this heaven?” Clarke whispered, unsure of herself.

The Judge smiled. “Ah, heaven, a human concept... If it helps you understand, then yes, it is heaven. Your children will never grow any older, and neither will you. They will stay the same, for the rest of eternity. They will never feel pain, or suffer, or hurt like you have. This is what my people believe that you truly deserve. Peace, happiness, and an end to suffering.”

“Will I remember?” Her voice broke slightly, the thought of staying with Lexa, Aden and Madi for the rest of eternity holding a vice on her heart. “How they died- left me? Will I remember how I got here?”

“No.” A moment of relief. “That is my gift to you, Clarke Griffin, it will be as if you have always been here. You will know nothing other than your life here. Your memories will be as the pictures on the wall, happy and joyous. You will forget me and the attrocities that you have lived.”

As the words were spoken, Clarke could feel the memories of her children’s deaths, the love of her life’s death, fading away and being replaced with happier ones, the ones from the photographs earlier.

Teaching Madi how to ride a bike, chasing after the bike cheering and clapping as the little girl steered down the street, and narrowly missed a lamp post.

The first time Aden scored a goal in hockey.

Telling Lexa how much she loved her and would always love her, in front of all their friends and family, when they exchanged wedding rings and got married.

As Clarke dabbed at her eyes with a kleenex, the sight of The Judge faded into the bathroom mirror until all that was left was Clarke in a pair of rose pajamas.

_________________

“Mom, hurry up, Mama’s making pancakes!” The sound of Aden knocking on the door snapped Clarke back into focus, the blonde smiling at his beckoning.

Clarke swung open the door, wrapping an arm around her son. “I’m here, I’m here, is she making chocolate chip ones?” She teased as the boy leaned into her.

“I think so!” He smirked, before looking up at her with concern. “Are you feeling any better now?”

“I feel great.” She smiled, wrapping her arms around him again, this time for a warm and loving hug, not one of such desperation and painful remembering.

“Good.” Aden grinned before running to the kitchen.

As Clarke entered the kitchen, she saw Lexa, covered in flour (and a little bit of egg) desperately trying to whisk in a bunch of chocolate chips to her batter.

“Hey, baby, so your Mom called. She said her flight gets in tomorrow morning, I said I’d pick her up because I knew you’d be busy with Raven.” Lexa smiled, before throwing in a cheeky comment of. “Though, if she talks my head off about that new ortho procedure, you’re going to make it up to me.”

Clarke laughed. “Come on Lex, she’s just getting back from the conference, she’s going to talk about it.”

“Then it sounds like you’re making it up too me.”

“Hey, Mom, come sit here! Sit with me, Mom!” Madi desperately waved her hand, trying to get Clarke to come over to where she sat at the kitchen table, fine-tip markers spread across the table as she worked on an elaborate tribal tattoo design. “Do you think Auntie O’s going to like this as her birthday present?”

With a smile, Clarke nodded her head. “She’ll love it. Which reminds me, you’re helping me and Auntie Raven decorate tomorrow, right?”

“Uh, duh! I made most of the decorations!”

“I’m going with Uncle Murphy to pick up the cake!”

“Alright, table clear, I’ve got the first batch of pancakes coming through, move your sketch Madi!”

And even in the craziness of trying to navigate two preteens, a tray of pancakes, a dog hungry for table scraps, and a wife who kept pulling her in for kisses...

Clarke knew what it finally meant to be at peace.

[jordswriteswords]

Clextober19: A Pinch of Magic

"Give me my God daughter!" Raven commanded. Anya flicked her wrist and a sandal flew up and smacked Raven in the back of the head.

"Ouch! You're not supposed to use spells when I'm not looking!"

"They might be sleeping, you dimwit."

Clarke was lying on the couch as her daughter babbled nonsense, face scrunched in determination as her little hands reached for the toys above on her mobile.

"Give me my God daughter!" Raven stage-whispered from behind the couch.

Clarke, already hearing the commotion at her front door, sat up and chuckled. She glanced down at her daughter, intently trying to reach the toys. "Madi, you have company," she cooed playfully. When the little one looked up at her mommy, Clarke swooped her up into her arms and blew raspberries on her cheek. The toys she was previously playing with jiggled with her laugh.

Raven's hands opened and closed repeatedly as she sat on the carpet where the baby once was. "Gimme."

"Go wash your hands," Anya scolded, pushing her wife to the sink. Raven pouted, but got up and marched off to the bathroom. Anya winked at her sister-in-law and leaned forward to kiss her cheek before sitting on the couch next to her. "How are you feeling? Lexa said you've been having a rough go of it now that Madi's teething."

Clarke shrugged and adjusted the hold on her squirming daughter, desperate to get to her Aunt. "It's been… interesting."

"Well, go take a shower, we're here for a bit."

"Thanks Ahn," Clarke sighed. She kissed her daughter's head before relinquishing her hold on the baby. "Be good for your aunties, Madi." Madi babbled and cooed in return, grabby hands pulling on Anya's hair and giving her 'kisses' by licking her face.

Clarke's laugh at Anya's disgusted expression could be heard from the top of the stairs.

Raven exited the bathroom with a pout. "Not fair. You always get to hold her first."

"Because I'm her favourite," Anya retorted, bouncing Madi on her lap.

Raven scoffed. "Never. She loves to play with me!"

"Because you always end up blowing something up, and then Clarke and Lexa end up yelling at the both of us. Isn't that right, Madi?" She asked, peppering the young girl's face with kisses.

Raven's mouth hung open for a half second before she conceded to the elder Woods. She flopped down on the floor next to the play area and immediately began tinkering with Madi's toys. Madi watched intently as Raven distracted herself with her mobile. She babbled to Anya, her face scrunching and relaxing as she watched her aunt. Five minutes later, Madi was leaning out of Anya's reach go get to Raven.

"Ha! I told you she loves to play with me."

"She's probably wondering what you're doing to her things!" Madi looked on curiously as Raven continued to play with her toys. She pointed at things and Raven would pass them to her, only for Madi to become distracted with the next thing that Raven had, and point again. It went on like this until Raven ran out of toys, and Madi giggled happily at her giant pile.

"What are you doing?" Anya asked around a laugh.

"I have no idea," Raven responded. "It's keeping her happy, though," she said with a shrug.

Anya looked up to the stairs to check where their host was. She whispered over to her partner, "Clarke looks tired."

"Clarke is tired," Raven responded. "It's not easy to raise a magical baby. Especially when you don't have even a pinch of magic."

Madi's cheeks grew warm as she continued to play, and eventually, the toys ended up in her mouth, her suckling on them to try to soothe the ache of her gums.

"Magical babies aren't that hard. You're doing great with her." Anya secretly admired the love of her life while she played with her niece.

"We're not her parents. And I'm me. Let's see if she responds to some regular old human magic." Raven reached toward Madi's face and pinched her nose between her first and second fingers. She pulled back, wiggling her thumb between the two digits, joking, "I've got your nose!"

Madi stared at her aunt's fingers, her face morphing into one of confusion. Raven pretended to put her nose back, and Madi immediately reached up to touch her nose. Raven and Anya laughed at the cute display, and Raven did it again. Before she could move her hand away, however, Madi grabbed at her hand to stop Raven from stealing her nose.

Raven laughed. "Okay, you try," she coached the girl.

Madi reached her hand out to Raven's face and slapped down on her nose. Her fingernails were sharp, but her grabby little hands did no harm. Madi suddenly sneezed and let go of Raven's face.

"Gross," Raven cringed, wiping her niece's snot off her face. "It's just as gross from a baby as it is from an adult."

Raven looked to her wife and chuckled.

Anya gasped and her eyes went wide. "Uh, Raven…"

Raven's eyes matched her wife's and get laughter died in her throat. "What?" She asked, panic brewing in her stomach.

"Maybe you should, uhh, it's, um…" Anya pulled out her wand and flicked her wrist. A handheld mirror appeared in her hand and she turned it to her wife's face.

Raven nearly screamed. "M-m-m-my face!" She whispered. "My nose!"

Where her nose once was, there was now a gaping hole.

A slow smile crept onto Madi's face, until she began laughing and clapping emphatically.

Anya tried her best to stifle her laughter, but was struggling as Raven let out whine after whine every time she looked at her face in the mirror.

"Fix it," she pleaded with her wife.

"I can't," Anya laughed. "I don't know what spell she used and we're not of the same family."

Raven scoffed. "You're her aunt!"

"Only immediate family can undo the spell."

Raven whined.

Madi continued to laugh.

"Is that my baby girl laughing, I hear?" Clarke said as she bounded down the stairs. Her hair was still wet from the shower she had just taken. She rounded the corner and shrieked when she saw the gaping hole in her friend's face. "Oh my God, Raven! What happened?"

"Uhh," Raven said, scratching the back of her head. "I taught Madi a new game?"

Clarke just sighed. Madi, no longer the centre of attention, started fussing, her cheeks warming with her uncomfortable gums.

Anya picked the baby up off the floor and bounced her as she fussed, but the baby reached for Clarke, wanting to be comforted by her mommy. Raven, trying to protect her friend from the same fate, lunged to stop Madi from grabbing Clarke's nose. The sudden movement startled the baby.

"Oh, no, no, no, no baby, wait --," Clarke tried, but it was too late. Madi burst into tears, her cries so loud that the walls shook with the sound. Raven and Anya had to cover their ears.

Lexa appeared, foot connecting with the soccer ball just seconds after apparating in the living room, and sending the black and white ball careening into the corner, knocking the decorative vase off the table and crashing to the floor.

The noise scared Madi even more, and her cries became deafening.

"What the --," Lexa immediately covered her ears as the sounds registered. She snapped her fingers, producing a pair of earmuffs for herself and Clarke. She put hers over her ears and the other over Clarke's, much to the relief of her wife. She produced two more and floated them over to Anya, who snatched them out of the ear and covered both her and Raven's ears.

Clarke, finally able to think, raced to the fridge to grab the cooling teether for Madi and gently placed it on her sore gums.

The adults all sighed in relief as the deafening screams stopped, each removing their protective ear covers.

"What just happened?" Raven yelled, forgetting she was wearing earmuffs. Anya slapped her arm and pulled them off her head. Raven repeated the question at a much more respectable level.

"When she cries, she has the ability to summon the banshees. It's a protective spell, meant to disarm whoever it is that is hurting her. Anya and I both have the gift, too. It's passed down on the witch side of our family."

"How have I never known this?"

"We've never had to use it," Anya shrugged.

"What about - where - how the H-E-double-hockey-sticks did you know to appear?"

Clarke laughed. "Madi can make us appear wherever she is when she needs us."

"That must be horrible when you're getting it on."

Anya smacked her wife's arm.

"It's been interesting - wait, what happened to your face?" Lexa deflected.

"New game. Fix me, please," she begged.

Lexa laughed, snapped her fingers and Raven's nose appeared back on her face. Raven breathed a sigh of relief, happily caressing her nose with her fingertips.

Lexa cleaned the mess that she made with the soccer ball, and turned to her wife. "You okay?" She asked. Clarke sighed and nodded. Lexa kissed the top of Madi's head, and the baby reached for her mama, immediately falling asleep in Lexa's warm grasp.

"She can't control her magic yet," Lexa said. "It's not as easy as a full witch. Because she's only half-witch, it's a little more unpredictable."

"A little?" Raven whined.

Madi sneezed again.

Raven squealed and dropped to the floor behind the couch, just to be safe.

[spacekru-sass]

the ice king’s queen (vi)

A story based on a dream I had of a character set in season 4. But every character has their journey to take, their backstory that tells how they got to where and who they were. And with the hiatus til Season 5? We’ve got time to make up

part 1   part 2  part 3 part 4

tag list: @lovelynerdytraveler @mischievousweasleys @floralfangurl @p3nny4urth0ught5

I LOVE LOVE LOVE FEEDBACK so please don’t hesitate to tell me what you love, what you don’t love, what you hope to see for this character! Feedback keeps me in touch with the reader and we all want to succeed, right? I want you to read a good story, which keeps me writing because you’re happy! <3

  Avie climbed into the dropship behind a few others, the pounding rain beginning to attack from the sky. She moved to Raven, wrapped in a headset as she attempted to contact the Ark, placing a hesitant hand on her shoulder. Raven grasped her hand and squeezed as they finally made contact with the Ark, Abby’s voice ringing through.

           Avie took a deep breath and slumped against a wall, taking deep breaths as Clarke got to work in helping Finn. The tent canvas’ flew angrily from the opening as Bellamy returned, his two men grabbing the grounder and dragging him upstairs.

           “Bellamy, what is this? Revenge?” Octavia pushed him and Bellamy held his hand up, pushing him back.

           “It’s time that we have answers,” Bellamy gruffed, Avie standing up to face the man.

           “Bellamy, this isn’t who we are,” Avie tried, attempting to grasp Bellamy’s arm but he only pulled away from her touch, frightening her with his quick movements. She cowered slightly at the tone of his voice; thick with frustration and determination.

           “It is now,” he pushed past her, climbing to the third level. The group around her started to fight, making too much noise that it was flustering Clarke, bent over Finn as she got instruction from her mother.

           “Everyone, upstairs, now,” Avie yelled suddenly, clearing the room as Clarke and Raven turned to her echoing voice, nodding in thanks. She followed in suit, the last to climb up the rusted cold ladder, only to continue scaling as the broad and dark grounder awoke and swung his chained fists at the group. Blood seeped down his face, dried and flaky as he fought. “You don’t need to do this,” Avie moved forward to unchain the man when Miller shoved her backward. She landed on the ground with a thump, staring into the eyes of the grounder.

           “Octavia, get out of here,” Bellamy called from behind Avie. She turned to watch the two.

“I told you he was protecting me. You didn't have to do this,” Octavia begged, trying to step past Bellamy who matched her strides.

“This isn't about you, I'm doing this for all of us.” Bellamy insisted, crossing his arms across his broad chest.  “I did that for Finn and Jasper and Diggs and John and Roma.” Bellamy counted on his fingers at each name, and Avie stood, moving toward him.

“It wasn't even him.”

“You don't know that! We need to know what we're up against. How many there are and why they're killing us. And he's gonna tell us right now.” Bellamy turned and removed his jacket, walking to the man when Avie grabbed his wrist.

“No, Bellamy, please,” she pleaded, knowing this would not go over well. “We are not savages, have you considered talking to him? We are not monsters Bellamy, we shouldn’t be--,” Bellamy cut Avie off quickly, refusing to look her in the eyes.

“Miller, get her out of here, my sister too.” Miller’s arms circled around Avie’s torso, picking her up quickly to move her to a different level.

           “No,” Avie fought back, though Miller was stronger, “Bellamy, you do this and you are a monster and you disgust me,” her voice echoed in the third level as the hatch shut behind her. Octavia scoffed as another one of his guys tried to put his hands on her.

           “Don’t touch me,” she screamed and gapped at her older brother, “I don’t even know who you are anymore.” Avie had been pushed into a wall as Miller climbed back up the ladder, Octavia slumping to her side as the dropship shook, throwing everyone to the side.

           “Are you okay?” Octavia asked as Avie nodded. “About my brother, not the monsoon outside.”

           “I just, Bellamy isn’t the man he used to be,” Avie mumbled, “Part of me feels like it’s my fault. I put him in his janitor’s position, gave him the miserable life he led. It led him here, up there I mean,” Avie hung her head as another shake happened.

           “This wasn’t you,” Octavia wrapped her arm around her friend, “If anything, he should be thankful for everything you did for him. You saved his life, Hummingbird,” Octavia confirmed, rubbing her hands along her arms to keep them both warm.

           Suddenly, they saw Clarke climbing the ladder hastily. “Clarke, they locked the hatch,” Avie announced, moving to meet her as she banged her fist on the metal. The hatch opened and Clarke barged up the ladder, followed by O and Avie. Miller tried to step in front of them, but Avie pushed him aside. Clarke approached the man, knife held heavily in her grasp.

           “Clarke, he doesn’t understand you,” Octavia announced, the man’s eyes catching hers before flickering back to Bellamy. Bellamy pulled out the vials, yelling to the man, Octavia begging.

           “I’ll get him to talk,” Bellamy scratched his nose, moving toward the man. Octavia stepped forward to stop him as Clarke nodded her okay.

           “This isn’t who we are, CLARKE,” Avie yelled as Miller pulled her back again, Bellamy moving to get a buckle from a seat on the wall. He cut the man’s shirt off before winding up. “Bellamy, please. God, no,” she pleaded as Bellamy swung, slicing the man’s skin as he belted him. She shielded her eyes, feeling as though she was going to be sick.

           “Tell them, please,” Octavia said as Clarke scattered the vials on the ground. He stayed silent and Bellamy grasped Clarke’s shoulder tenderly, stepping forward again. A tear slid down Avie’s face as she turned away, Bellamy going back to work on the man’s stomach and chest.

           “Enough,” Octavia screamed, Clarke bending down again. Bellamy turned and grabbed a large nail from the tools in the corner. “You don’t have to be here for this,” he announced, turning to glance at the three of the women separately.

           “I’m not leaving until I get the cure for Finn,” Bellamy stepped forward, digging the nail into his hand, leaving it impaled as the man shook. Raven came up, staring at the man before ripping the blue hot wires from the wall.

           “What are you doing?” Avie screamed, rushing to her friend as she began to shock the grounder, convulsing from the palpating electricity. Avie caught the crossfire, shocked by the open cables as she collapsed to the ground, shaking uncontrollably.

Raven didn’t stop, the man’s screams filled the room.

           Avie crouched on the floor as Octavia turned around, grabbing the knife, an idea popped into her head. She sliced her arm open. “He won’t let me die,” Octavia announced, pointing to each vial as the man finally said which one it was. “Don’t touch me,” she announced, crawling to Avie to check on her. Avie’s hands shook as her pupils dilated.

           “Good thinking, O,” Avie whispered, gasping for air as she sat up slightly. The two friends wrapped their arms around each other and moved to get Octavia the cure to the poison, Bellamy watching as they left, an unsure look on his face.

           A few hours later, as everyone rested, Avie climbed the ladder and approached the man on the third level. He looked hesitantly at her, his fingertips slowly grazing the nail in his hand. “I’m going to take this out, alright? I don’t know if you can understand me but,” his palm opened slightly as she grasped it firmly, pulling it out in one motion.

           “I’m so sorry,” she whispered as Octavia climbed the ladder. The man nodded and Avie handed the cloth to her, allowing her some alone time with her grounder. She moved downstairs, bumping into Clarke as she went to leave the dropship.

           “Avie, how are you feeling?” she asked, her eyebrows knitted together. Avie scoffed, pushing past her.

           “Funny, how you’re concerned now, instead of when I was electrocuted,” she shook her head at the blonde girl. Clarke stepped in front of her.

           “I was only trying to save Finn.”

           “Octavia saved Finn,” she said, “You pride yourself on being just, but you’re just as vicious and cruel as Bellamy. We shouldn’t be stooping to the grounder’s levels. If you’re in charge, you should know better, I thought that you were better than that,” And with that she took off, out the dropship door and into her tent to grab a pack. She moved straight past Bellamy, straight into the wilderness, a small tremor in her hands.

           She moved through the woods swiftly, stopping at ravines, then collecting some plants and herbs that she’d never seen in the process. She finally took homage on a rock, grabbing a sketchbook to sketch the plants into the pages. The wind blew gently across her face, the cold breeze refreshing as she took a deep breath and swallowed a few nuts that she’d grabbed from a table on her way out of camp.

           She couldn’t be at camp any longer, nor could she look at Bellamy, Clarke or Raven. They weren’t monsters but the savage actions they’d taken were disturbing, even under her standards. She spent most of the day collecting various plant life and water, when the plants around her began to shift and twist and turn around her.

           Her hands reversed direction and she felt as if she were going to throw up, the ground shifting underneath her as she tried to stand, falling immediately. She stared up at the sky, her stomach spinning as Bellamy’s face appeared before her.

           “B-Bell?” she whispered, reaching for him but he only laughed in her face. Blood began to run down his forehead, a sickly-sweet smile on his face.

           “You’ll never win,” he replied, and a tear escaped her eyes. “You’ve never been good enough, you weren’t enough to save the grounder, to save your mother or your father, you couldn’t even save yourself,” his voice cooed into her ear.

           “Bellamy, stop,” she screamed, rolling onto her stomach and crawling away, only to be dragged back to him. Her fingernails clawed at the Earth to stop him. He suddenly threw a knife beside her.

           “Off yourself,” he cackled, “It’s better that way.” She grasped the handle of the knife in a complete meltdown, rocking in the dirt when a willowy figure began to call to her, calling Avie’s name. Octavia appeared behind Bellamy, yanking the blade from her hands as she sobbed into air.

           “I need to off myself, It’s better this way,” Avie rolled onto the ground, gasping for air. She closed her eyes, Bellamy’s image suddenly gone as a second pair of hands held hers.

           “Avie,” his soothing voice said, “You’re okay, everything’s okay. Breathe,” he picked her up, carrying her in front of Octavia as they rushed back to camp. They reached close enough to camp that Lincoln placed her on the ground and pressed his lips to Octavia’s, disappearing into the woods. Avie snuggled into her heavy jacket, her facial features finally at peace as she settled into a deep sleep. Octavia shuffled next to her, the crazy of the day worn her out.

           They awoke a few hours later to Bellamy and Clarke returning to camp with guns. Avie’s head rested on Monty’s, tired from the effects of the nuts. She had no fight left in her, moving to the fire to get warm. Bellamy moved behind her, cautiously wrapping a blanket around her shoulders as if he were unsure she’d take his help. She rubbed her eyes before pulling the fleece closer around her torso and taking a deep breath.

           “I don't expect you to forgive me, but you'll have to find a way to live with me... because I'm not going anywhere,” Bellamy’s deep voice rasped out.

[fanficimagery]

#243 "The kids. They ambushed me."

What to expect: The prison Rick and his group took over was never demolished in a War. The Governor never happened, but they do take in people from Woodbury or wherever should they want to go there. When Alicia left her mother and brother, she left for good. She wandered whichever way the wind blew and ended up near the Georgia Prison that Rick and his crew took over. They took her in and she's a beloved member of the Prison Community.

Read below or read on FF.NET | AO3

Author's Note: I know it's highly unlikely Alicia and Madison would end up anywhere near one another again, but lets pretend good things happen for this family once in their lives.

Alicia's in and out of sleep in her cell, the entire cell block nice and peaceful before the sun rises. But even after being behind concrete walls and several fences surrounding said concrete walls for a little over a year now, Alicia still finds herself on edge when it gets too quiet.

Nearly muted footfalls alert her to someone approaching and given Alicia is not alone in her cell, she grips the dagger hidden beneath her pillow tight in one hand. As the figure stops in the doorway she starts to sit up slowly, but Daryl's gruff voice halts her. "Easy, 'licia. S'just me."

She sighs softly and glances over at the slumbering toddler on the mattress situated on the floor to make sure she's still asleep. "Dammit, Dixon. You need a bell."

"That would defeat the purpose, dumbass." Alicia huffs a quiet laugh. "Rick and I are takin' a group out. He wants to know if you're good to help Beth with the kids? Maggie will be tendin' to the crops, so Beth needs the help."

"Yeah. The kids actually like me, so it's no big deal."

Daryl nods before gesturing to Judith. "She givin' Beth problems?"

"Nah." Alicia lays back down, getting comfortable after stretching. "I could tell Beth was ready to drop last night and Judith was wide awake. I brought her in here to play and she fell asleep."

"Alright." Daryl then pushes himself off the doorway. "Still got 'bout an hour of dark. Get some sleep, kid."

"Mhm. Bring me back something fun, Dixon."

"We'll see."

Alicia grins at his mumbled reply, her body relaxing once more the second the cell block goes quiet. If she was on babysitting duty with Beth today, she was gonna need all the rest she could get.

Around mid-day all Alicia wants is a cold shower. She and Beth have been taking turns keeping all the older kids occupied, and keeping them occupied meant running them ragged outside underneath the overbearing sun. It sounds cruel, but getting them tired early on meant they had an early bedtime which the other adults greatly appreciated. And she still got a bit of a reprieve when she would have Judith since the toddler was still too young to be under the sun for long, but the work was tiresome nonetheless.

"Hey, Alicia," Beth grins as she approaches with a dozing Judith on her hip. "Rick's called a Council meeting in the enclosed courtyard. We have a new recruit."

"Oh, thank god," she groans in response. Wiping the sweat from her brow, Alicia flashes Beth a tired smile. "Good luck with the little rascals. We were playing hide-n-seek, but I was being lazy in the seeking part."

"I can tell," Beth chuckles. "Carol's made them a snack, so I'll be taking them in to wash up. Maggie's showing the new girl to the showers so she'll be comfortable when you guys give her the run down of how everything works around here."

"Alright. See you later, Beth."

The blonde girl nods in response, she then walking back the way she'd come. Alicia takes off towards the courtyard, wondering who it is the group had brought back. It was rare that they brought anyone back, what with Rick and Daryl being cautious of who they let in because of all the women and children that had drifted over from the other community nearby. Alicia herself had been one of the lucky ones, her state of mind not too far gone like others they'd run into.

And with Alicia's rather strategic mind and helpful observations about the layout of the prison yard, Rick and Hershel had made room in their council to add Alicia. It was something that others had been surprised about given how new Alicia was to them, but after seeing her in action they then realized why Rick and Hershel were quickly attached to the girl.

Alicia's reminiscing about how she won the others over when she's knocked from her thoughts by something hitting her in the stomach. When she glances down in surprise all she sees is dirt clinging to her shirt and then she's hit again in her shoulder and leg.

Gasping and darting a look around to whoever's attacking her with balls of soil, Alicia finds a few of the kids snickering as they run back and forth for coverage before launching more ammunition at her.

"You little jerks!" She yells out which causes a few of the nearby adults to laugh. "I'm busy right now, but when I'm free.. it is so on." The children whoop in delight before Beth appears around the corner, she scolding the kids and ordering them inside to clean up.

When Beth spots Alicia covered in dirt, she does her best to smother her amusement but Alicia still sees it. Alicia waves her off before continuing on to where she's needed and when she gets there everyone stares at the state in which she's in. Glenn, Hershel, Carol and Rick all look rather amused. Michonne and Sasha are smirking openly, and Daryl huffs in amusement as he walks up to her and knocks a clump of dirt from her hair.

"The kids. They ambushed me," she explains.

The entire group starts to chuckle, and Sasha and Carol make room for her to sit at the table when she nears it. But before Alicia can even take a seat, she freezes when a new voice calls out her name.

"Alicia?"

Everyone's smile vanishes as they turn to the new voice and Alicia's gaze locks in on a face she hasn't seen in a long time. Eyes widening, Alicia gapes momentarily before she finds her voice. "Mom?!"

Several of the group gasp in surprise as the two women stare at one another in shock. But then Alicia and Madison Clark are moving without thought, the two women colliding as they wrap their arms around one another. Madison is still the blonde beauty Alicia remembers her mother being, but she can see the toll the new world has taken on her mother what with her ill-fitting clothes.

"How did you end up way over here?" Alicia asks. "I thought the plan was to make a home at the water dam!?"

"Victor sold us out to the Proctors," Madison mutters.

"'Course he did."

"He tried to make it right, but your brother was the reason we ended up getting away."

Alicia pulls out of the hug. "Nick! He's here too? Where is-"

"Leesh," Madison says, shaking her head. "Your brother didn't make it." Alicia's smile falls and her eyes start to tear up, but she sniffs once and reigns it in. "The Proctors weren't going to let us live, so we lined the bottom of the dam with C4 as a last stand. Nick bargained for me and Victor to get out of there, but the Proctors called Nick's bluff and attacked him. He blew the dam too soon and our boat got sucked in. Only I survived. I'm sorry."

"So stupid," Alicia mumbles.

Madison's still holding onto Alicia's arms and staring at her as if she's going to disappear, but Alicia turns her attention elsewhere and puts her brother's demise to the back of her mind for the time being. Everyone is watching them with rapt attention.

"Where did you guys even find her?" She asks.

"Back of a store," Daryl tells her. "If I hadn't been searching for those damn Uno cards," he says, huffing a laugh, "I wouldn't have found her."

Rick groans. "That's what you were looking for? If it evolves into another screaming match, I'll burn this deck too."

"Maggie's a menace with those draw fours," Alica mumbles in defense.

The group all chuckle and Madison openly laughs, she pulling her daughter into yet another hug. "Oh, baby. You always were a sore loser."

No one says anything as mother and daughter reunite, the whole group already knowing the reason Alicia left in the first place. But they also know that Alicia missed her family and friends dearly, so they don't hold it against her that she's clinging to the mother she once blamed for leaving in the first place.

But the moment is soon broken when Madison pulls away, frowning as she plucks a few blades of grass from her daughter's hair. "Uh, Leesh? Why are you covered in dirt? You know they have showers here, right?"

Daryl, who's closest to them, snorts and Alicia groans. "Not now, Mom. Lets just enjoy this for a little while longer." Madison opens her mouth to reply, but Alicia pulls her mother into yet another hug and just relishes in the fact that her mother is there.

[trashboytozier]

Love Will Tear Us Apart

I - Friday I’m In Love

Virginia Clark had just stepped out of the shower, hair still tied up to dry on top of her head, when her mother called her downstairs to answer the phone. She had rushed down the steps with one hand holding the towel around her body in place, already knowing who was calling and why and trying to hide the grimace on her face from her mom. Good news though: She didn’t even look her daughter’s way as she handed off the pale blue landline to the barely 18 year old, walking off to her room without another word. “Eddie,” Virginia whispered as soon as her mom was out of earshot. “You weren’t supposed to be leaving for another hour!” In the background of the call she heard loud laughter, followed by a soft thud and Eddie sighing through the line. “Yeah, well, Trashmouth has almost snitched on us twice already, and my mom is getting really sick of him.” Richie sounded off in the background again, and while she couldn’t hear his words she knew he was saying something about how Mrs. K could never get sick of a stud like him. Eddie didn’t even pause to listen to him. “We’re about to leave in five, okay?” She looked desperately down at her still-wet body and huffed. She didn’t have a choice. “Okay, whatever. That’s fine, Eds.” “For the last time, V, don’t call me that!” But she had already hung up, turning and hurrying up the stairs to try to get dressed in the barely 10 minutes she had before the boys ( her boys , as she called them) to get from Eddie’s house to her bedroom window.

She made pretty good time, clipping back her hair to dry and shrugging on an oversized white shirt and pajama shorts before staring into the mirror on her nightstand and trying to put on just enough mascara and lipgloss that the boys wouldn’t notice she did it. She had never thought she was a very pretty girl, but she tried her hardest to make her dark eyes and barely full lips stand out. She was pulling on a pair of socks when a small pebble rapped against her window. Yanking them up to her knees, she hobbled over to the window, quickly brushing her long, brown hair in front of her shoulders. She took a deep breath in her chest, sliding it open and peering down at the boys standing next to the oak tree next to her window. “Hey, losers!” She called down softly, and they both laughed as Eddie grabbed the ladder that was nailed to the trunk. Virginia’s father had built her the treehouse when she was 13, all long legs and freckles, the summer the two boys climbing up and inside it were hanging out in sewers and abandoned houses. Her dad didn’t want her out in the streets, so he built the house for her to play in without leaving the neighborhood. Now, five years later, its back window, little more than a square hole in the wall, led to a thick limb that ended right at her bedroom window. “Stop! Richie, that’s not funny, you dumbass!” Eddie half-screamed from inside the treehouse, in response to some torture Virginia hadn’t witnessed. “I could have fallen and broken something!” Slowly, the small boy climbed through the small window, carefully walked a few steps, and eased in through the windowsill. He wore his own set of pajamas: A pale blue t-shirt and long pajama pants with a small squiggly pattern. He smiled at Virginia, and she pulled him into a hug, his head pushing into her chest. “I missed you, Eddie!” She said as she squeezed his shoulders and he laughed into her shirt. “I literally saw you three hours ago!” “I know, but I still missed you.” And she had. Eddie was her best friend in the whole world. They had matching pastel pink friendship bracelets. He had spent almost every weekend at her house since freshman year, and she had even been the first person he told when he decided to come out to his friends last year. She had been so excited to hear it (even if she had already known for months) that she had bought every teen girl magazine from the store by her house and they had filled out “Does he like you back or is he just a nice guy?” quizzes for hours. They just clicked, and they looked like it too, her baby pink socks contrasting with the light blue green and yellow of his pants as they stood hugging in her bedroom. “All my music’s on the desk over there. Pick a good one for us, okay, Eds?” She suggested, and he walked over to the corner of the room, thumbing through the cassette tapes stacked in neat piles. Each one in the first three piles was labeled in sloping, loopy cursive, Virginia’s signature penmanship, and Eddie smiled a little at the sight of it. The first tape in the last pile, though, sported a messier, block lettering. There were small stars drawn in the corners of the label. “A SUMMER SOUNDTRACK BY TRASHMOUTH TOZIER” was scribbled across it. Eddie didn’t notice the corners of his mouth turn down as he picked it up and read the next beneath it - “BEEP BEEP BABY” and the stars were replaced with messy, rushed hearts. He felt his palms begin to sweat. Beneath that: “FRIDAY IM IN (DEEP SHIT)”. Eddie turned back to the piles before, that song by The Cure humming in the back of his head, having heard it a million times around Richie himself.

Virginia sat down on her bed, clasping her hands over her legs and placing her chin on her knees as Richie’s long, lanky legs and arms rusted their way inside the window. She giggled a bit at how ridiculous he looked, and he grinned at her, eyebrows raising at her skinned knees. “Been using those too much, huh, Virgin- ya?” He teased, using her least favorite nickname. She frowned up at him. “If I had, you’d never know,” She answered, bouncing a little in place as the shaggy haired boy threw himself down into her mattress. He was still wearing the same clothes he wore to school that day: a plain white tee underneath some ridiculous Hawaiian shirt with bright pink flamingos on it and dark jeans. He kicked off the same pair of combat boots he had worn for the last two months straight as she turned to Eddie. “You got anything yet?” “Sure do,” Eddie called back, popping in a tape and sitting beside Virginia on the edge of the bed. Softly, their shared favorite song by Joy Division played through the stereo, and the next few hours all blurred into the soft, fuzzy remembrance of a teenage good night. Eddie laughed when Virginia stole Richie’s glasses and did a spot-on impression of him. Richie stood up after four songs and took control of the music duties, which neither V nor Eddie minded, as they could both have listened to his guitar-heavy wistful love songs all night long. Virginia painted her and Eddie’s fingernails, shut up Richie when he started to pick on the smaller boy for the pale pink polish, and even convinced him to let her paint a single nail - his right middle finger. When it was finally 2 in the morning, she yawned, long and hard, which made the other two boys yawn, longer and harder, and everyone agreed it was time for bed. Eddie and Virginia both did their best not to look as Richie stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt, both of their breath hitching in their throats.

For months, when she first started sneaking the boys into her room on Friday nights, Eddie and Richie both would be exiled to the floor, which a single pillow and scratchy blanket each. Then, after a while, Eddie would share a bed with Virginia and Richie would sleep next to them on the floor, sometimes crawling up onto the mattress in the night when he couldn’t sleep. Now, over a year later, they all piled up in her queen sized bed together, a mess of limbs and body heat - Eddie on the far right clutching a pillow to his chest, Virginia in the middle rubbing her soft, cold feet against each other until she drifted off into sleep, and Richie on the far left, farthest from the door, with Virginia’s hair spread across the pillow before him, filling his senses with the smell of coconut and fresh strawberries. Virginia pretended not to notice Richie’s hands inching underneath her shirt. They never did anything under there, surprisingly, just warmed themselves against her rib cage, and she felt more comforted by them than threatened. Eddie pretended not to notice Virginia’s soft snoring in his ear or her tendency to wrap her leg around him in her sleep. Instead, he found himself trying to pick out the sound of Richie’s breathing, his lungs labored from the cigarettes he smoked every day now. Richie pretended not to notice a lot of things, but most of all he ignored the way Eddie would peek over his shoulder at him every few minutes, big brown eyes catching his and then fluttering away. Virginia never looked back at him, no matter how hard he blew her hair out of his face or pinched the back of her ankles with his toes. She would always just kick him softly with her heels, a silent acknowledgment and discouragement in one. As they all drifted off into sleep, Eddie realized with his last conscious thought that Richie had put on the “FRIDAY IM IN (DEEP SHIT)” mixtape as that oh-so familiar song by The Cure started on the stereo, just loud enough to hear. Richie’s hand on Virginia’s stomach twitched, and his knuckle brushed Eddie’s back through his thin cotton tee. He pretended not to notice that, too.

[raavenreyes]

aeternum.

Bellamy x Raven: reincarnation / immortal au

Word count: 2,487 words.

Description: Bellamy Blake has been alive for longer than he’d care to admit. When he refused to side with a God in a petty disagreement, the God decided to curse him with immortality. When the war resulting from the petty disagreement reaches Bellamy’s front step, the immortality benefits him but kills the love of his life. Now, thousands of years later, he’s doing his best to blend. That is, until the love of his life finds him once more. But that’s impossible, right?

[ rating: R for language. ]

Chapter 8.

It was late, maybe early, he didn’t know. Raven was still asleep, snoring softly next to him with a small puddle of drool on her lavender sheets. He gave her a soft smile and kissed her shoulder, then her rib cage, noticing she had discarded her shirt sometime in the middle of the night. Wells was gone, on vacation for two weeks with his family, leaving the house to Raven to do whatever she pleased. Apparently that meant forcing Bellamy to spend every night with her because the house was ‘scary’ by herself. Not that he was complaining. He headed into the bathroom after placing his glasses on his face to wash his face with some soy-based cleanser than smelled like lemon Raven had in her cabinet.

Looking in the mirror, he ran his hands over his face, deciding not to shave for the day—then something caught his eye. He pushed his hair from his face, finding a single, stark silver hair. Bellamy plucked it from his hairline and stared at it in his palm, seeming to glow against the gold in his skin.

“Bellamy?”

He jumped at the sound of Raven’s voice behind him, and she stood in the bathroom doorway, rubbing her right eye free of sleep. “Hey, babe. What’re you doin’ out of bed?” He questioned.

“I heard you get up.” She leaned against the doorway. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Can’t sleep. I’m gonna go for a run—you want anything from the store while I’m out?”

“I think we’re good. I’ll text you if I discover we’re out of something.”

Bellamy went towards her and kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you soon.”

The minute he was outside, he hailed a cab and watched as people got their day started, rushing towards cabs and subway stairwells, talking on phones and scarfing down breakfast sandwiches.

“Here you are, sir.” The cab driver announced, gesturing to the Starbucks they were parked in front of.

“Thanks, man.” Bellamy tossed him a twenty and slid out, opening up the door to find that the coffee shop was only inhabited by a few patrons.

“Bellamy!” He heard from behind the counter, and Clarke beamed a bright, white smile. “How are you?”

“Hey, I’m good.” He mirrored her smile, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

“What can I get for ya?”

“Venti Americano with an extra shot if you don’t mind,”

She chuckled. “One of those days, huh?” She moved over to the machine and got to work, brewing the espresso. “How’s Raven doing?”

Bellamy leaned against the counter. “A lot better. The physical therapy is going well and she’s walking well on her own. Still on the crutches though.”

Clarke let out a sigh. “Body needs time to heal. My mom was talking about her last night, was wondering how she was doing.” It was by pure coincidence that Bellamy and Raven discovered that Clarke’s mother was the responding physician after Raven’s car accident. Despite how large the city was, New York could often be a tiny bubble when it came to population interaction. “Hey, you got a minute? I’m about to go on my thirty, I’d love to catch up some more.”

“Yeah, I got time.” He nodded, sliding over a ten dollar bill. “I’ll go hang out outside at a table.”

“Great, I’ll meet you out there.”

The morning was a bit chilly, but nothing a warm drink and a light jacket couldn’t fix. Bellamy leaned back in the metal chair and propped his ankle on top of his knee, enjoying the sounds of the city until the sound of a gate shutting brought his attention to the petite blonde making her way towards him. She uncapped a venti-sized cup and inhaled the scent of her coffee with a happy smile.

“First one of the morning?” He questioned.

“Oh god no, it’s my fifth. I’ve been here since five o’clock in the morning.” Clarke laughed, letting her hair down from its bun, which revealed some fading pink tips in her golden locks. “What prompted the visit?”

“Haven’t seen you around. You and Lexa holed up somewhere having a honeymoon?”

She chuckled. “I wish, no, I’ve been so busy. School’s finishing up and I’ve been so stressed with everything…” Clarke trailed off, brushing her fingertip around the mouth of her cup. “Lexa and I have been fighting, nothing super bad but it’s enough, enough to…”

“Bother you.” He nodded. “Yeah, she mentioned you guys were hittin’ a rough patch.” Clarke frowned. “Nothing bad.” Bellamy assured her, leaning forward. “Lexa’s…as sad as this sounds, she’s not used to this. Neither of us are.”

“Used to what?”

“Being happy and okay.” Bellamy let out a sad laugh. “She’s had a crush on you for so long. You know she blew through a chunk of her savings just going to Starbucks to see you.”

A smile spread across Clarke’s pink-painted lips, the color almost matching her dyed ends. “She told me about that. She’s such a dork.” The girl let out a long sigh, picking at the cherry red polish on her thumb nail for a moment in thought. “I want to take things further…you know, introduce her to my mom and my stepdad—which she’s all for, she’d love to meet her formally but…”

“But what?”

“Whenever I bring up her family, you know, suggesting we go meet them…she shuts down.”

He nodded. “That part of Lexa’s life is complicated.” Mostly because everyone she’s ever known, loved, or had a familial connection to is dead and has been dead for centuries, his mind finished for him. “She’s…a tough one, Clarke. I’m gonna be honest with you. Your best bet is to wait for her to break down her own walls then try to do it yourself.”

A shrug lifted her shoulders, and then she let out a sigh “I mean, you know her best.” Clarke lifted her gaze to meet his. “Thanks for talking to me about this, Bell. I know it must be weird—”

“It’s not. Lexa’s my sister. We’ve been like that for years. We’re bound to talk about each other.”

“You know, Bell, they’re both lucky to have you. Raven and Lexa.”

The statement brought a smile to his face. “I’m the lucky one. I was so lost and I found Lexa…in the strangest of places, but I found her. She found me. Raven….I feel like I had been looking for her for ages and there she was.”

“Like the sun coming out from behind clouds,”

“Exactly. Very poetic of you, Clarke.”

She blushed. “What can I say? I’m a moody art student.” Taking a long sip of her coffee, she tipped her head back and finished it off. “I gotta head back, but thank you for the visit.”

“No problem.” Bellamy stood up and pulled the girl into a hug. “I’ll see you around, Griffin.”

“Right back at’cha, Blake.”

Bellamy hailed another cab, and the minute he slid into the interior, his cell phone rang with a picture of Raven at the Intrepid Air, Space and Sea Museum. “Hey, baby.” He greeted her warmly.

“Bell, I need coffee, a bacon and spinach omelet from Freddy’s and a foot rub.”

He chuckled. “Anything else I can get you, Princess Raven?”

“A kiss too, if you’d like—but! I’m leaving the apartment, I gotta stop by the shop real quick and since your place is closer, can we stay there tonight?”

“Sure,” He nodded. “I’ll see you soon, be safe.”

“See ya.”

Bellamy ran his errands, remembering half way through ordering breakfast that he needed some groceries, so he stopped by the bodega and took the long way home. He made it up to his apartment with all his bags in one trip, though, a silent victory. When he entered the apartment, he called out a greeting for Raven and she came out from his bedroom, limping until she leaned against the separation wall.

“Hey, gorgeous.” Dropping a bag on the counter, he smiled. “Bake n’ spin omelet and a large coffee. Got some groceries too. I was thinking we could stay in tonight and watch a movie, unless you got plans?”

“I don’t.” Raven said softly, but something in her voice startled him and he frowned as she turned back into the bedroom.

“Rae?” Bellamy questioned, following her into his room, and then coming to a dead stop.

Spread across his comforter was his life.

Hundreds of state IDs, Drivers Licenses, Social Security Cards, photographs, land deeds, letters were finely combed through and displayed on the dark brown comforter than covered his bed. Panic spread through him, and he had to fight against his own body to look at Raven, who was hugging herself tightly, fighting back her own tears.

“I um, I was getting the extra wraps you said you had up in your closet to wrap my ankle because it…it was swelling and, a bunch of stuff fell out of some boxes.” She explained, much too calmly for his liking.

“Raven—”

“I want to…I don’t know if I want to know, but I knew it was—I knew you were too good to be true.”

His jaw set, “Rae, if you just give me a chance—”

“What is it, Bellamy? Who the hell are you? Is Bellamy even your real name?”

“It is. I promise you it is.”

“Who are you?” She yelled, tears finally breaking over the lids of her eyes and creating shiny trails down her cheeks as they caught the light in the room. “Why do you have sixty-seven ids from almost every state in the country? Why do you have fourteen different social security cards? Why do you own land in Canada, Montana, California and Pennsylvania? And why are they all from different years ranging from fucking 1908 to two years ago?!” She was screaming by the time she finished her sentence, and Bellamy’s body went into shock.

“Raven, I don’t know how to explain this and I’m afraid if I do, you won’t believe me.”

“How am I supposed to when everything else has been a lie?” Her voice broke on every word, and it was when she went to take a seat on the bed that he noticed her hands were shaking. “I told you I loved you and you didn’t say it back. Is this why?”

He let out a shaking sigh, kneeling in front of her and brushing tears away from her eyes. “Raven, I love you. I do.”

“Are you in love with me?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Are you just saying this to save us?”

“Do we need saving?” A quiet sob broke through his chest, and his eyes blurred with hot tears.  

She reached behind her, picking up one of the identification cards. “Bellamy Alexander Franklin, born in 1940, place of residence at 54 Maple Avenue, Atherton, California.” She listed off. “Bellamy Martin Graves, born in 1956, place of residence at 2360 Crowne Point Boulevard, Suamico, Wisconsin.” He tried to cut in, and she just spoke louder. Bellamy Robert Vincent. 3004 Brick Lane, Decatur, Georgia. Born in 1975.” She looked down at him. “Give me your wallet.”

“Raven,” He whispered.

“Give me your fucking wallet, Bellamy.” He slipped the billfold out of his back pocket and handed it to her, where she furiously ripped the plastic folder than contained his driver’s license. “Bellamy Weston Blake, born –” The tears started coming more, and she rubbed at her puffy, red eyes in frustration. “Bellamy Blake. Why? Why did you do this to me?”

“I didn’t do—this wasn’t intentional.”

“What is it, huh? Are you some kind of fugitive? Do you make fake I.D.s for fun? Why does this one say you were born in 1940? 1956? I’ve been wracking my mind trying to figure out for the life of me why you would have all these.” He stayed quiet. “You can’t even say anything to me?”

“It’s not my secret to tell, Raven.”

“If you love me you’d tell me the truth.” Her words hit him in the chest like a bullet, sending shrapnel-like ripples through his system. His gut rolled with nausea and his temples pounded in pain. So, he stayed quiet.

It seemed to be the wrong choice.

Raven turned and grabbed her coat off the bed, tugging it onto her arms. Her crutches swayed and when one fell over, Bellamy reached for it and attempted to steady her on her feet. “No—STOP! Get away from me,” She screamed and delivered a hard punch to his chest. “Don’t touch me. I don’t need your help.”

“R-Raven, please. Stay. Let’s just…We can talk. Just stay, please.” He was all but on his knees, begging. “I love you, I mean it. I never stopped.”

Her brow rose in confusion. “You never stopped?”

“You don’t remember, I’ve been trying to make you remember.”

“Remember what?” She croaked, voice hoarse from yelling.

“Me,” The word barely came out, his body felt so weak. “Remember…me.” Her lower lip quivered. “Raven, remember us. The tree out back, the cypress…fresh fish, the way you put way too much salt on everything. The wooden swing I made you, the…your birthmark.”

Raven shook her head, the look on her face growing stranger. “What are you talking about?”

“Baby, please. Just…I’ll tell you everything if you just stay, don’t leave me again.”

“How do I know you’re not gonna lie to me?”

“I can’t…you have to trust me.”

Her eyes fell to the barrage of paperwork on the bed, then she closed them tightly for a moment, as if to push out any remaining tears. “That’s the thing, Bellamy. I can’t trust you.”

As she pushed passed him, he got a whiff of some kind of scent. Maybe her soap, or shampoo. Sweet, like honey. It broke him.

His front door closed, and he came to the realization that the first time he lost her, she had died in his arms.

Somehow, this was worse.

[izabesos]

Lost in the deep end

Chapter 1: I’m nothing to no one, but you

Pairing: Raven x Octavia Words: 5,353 Ch. Summary:             “Oh, Clarke doesn’t take care of me like this.”

        “How? With no medical knowledge or supplies and lots of ice bags?”

           “No.” her voice was soft and low. “With kisses.”

read on ao3

I think the saddest word in the wide world is the word almost.

I was almost good for her.

She almost loved me.

We almost made it.

Raven cleaned her greasy hands on a even dirtier cloth rag that was on her desk, and looked out the window.

“Window” was kind of a compliment. The only entrance for natural light wasn’t more than a huge hole on the thick metal wall, crossed with some wires and iron bars that were a part of the internal coating – and Raven affectionately called blinds. When it rained heavily or it was sunny enough to disturb her vision, the girl used to steal Bellamy's blankets to use as a curtain, which resulted in him complaining for a whole week with provision supervisors. Abby was almost hanging him on a tree for the rebel grounders.

She glanced toward the disassembled tone generator on her table. She had been doing this for hours on end, every day, since the Chancellor had decided to send people from the Sky Crew to patrol the forest and find reapers for Abby to bring them back, and the only chance to overpower them was using the sound generators created in Mount Weather. Her eyes were heavy with sleep, and she felt the fatigue in every fiber of her body, each molecule screaming with exhaustion. She felt dirty and exhausted, but she could not stop, not now. Work was a good way to numb the pain, the latency of her leg blocking out the one in her chest. Almost like morphine.

You think you deserve this pain, that this is your cross to bear for you mom or Finn, for all you’ve been through... it’s not. You deserve more.

So far, Sinclair didn’t seem so right. Raven’s life had been built up on sacrifices. She lost so many things... not complaining, though, but when she was finished with that stupid job all she wanted was some rest. Sleeping for a couple hours would be good, even with the nightmares.

She wiped the sweat of her forehead and focused the light on the pieces.

“Raven?” Octavia called from the door and entered without waiting for an answer.

Raven frowned and sighed as soon as she saw the injured bottom lip, the bruised face and the black eye Octavia came proudly displaying. The girl pouted with her bloody lip and sat down on one of the tables. Her shirt was also soaked in the blood that dripped from her nose and chin.

“Godammit, Octavia.” Raven clenched her jaw, and fetched a bucket of cold water and a piece of cloth that was at least acceptable enough to come into contact with human skin. “You have to stop coming at me like this, I mean, Clarke is the doctor, not me. Look at your nose.”

Raven held Octavia's head up in an attempt to staunch the bleeding. She lightly brushed the damp cloth under the girl's bloody lip and Octavia put her head down stubbornly as she came closer to Raven, her eyes shut.

“Oh, Clarke doesn’t take care of me like this.” she smirked and raised her eyebrows.

“How? With no medical knowledge or supplies and lots of ice bags?”

“No.” her voice was soft and low. “With kisses.”

Raven frowned briefly, almost grinning, and punched Octavia's thigh. She whimpered at the pain:

“Ouch. I’m hurt enough already, Reyes, it’s not fair that you will hit me too.”

“Really funny. I’m not kissing you, Octavia Blake, not when you have a black eye, a bloody nose and a injured lip.” Raven laughed sarcastically and Octavia grumbled to herself, crossing her arms.

“Well you have a fucked up leg, Reyes. Not complaining. We all have our things, right?”

She tensed briefly, then gently pushed Octavia's head back one more time, handing the cloth over to wipe the blood.

“Touché.” Raven answered in a low voice, going to get a cold compress to the black eye. Octavia swallowed the defeat quietly, smiling softly through a few grimaces of pain as Raven tried to clear the wounds, her eyes always closed.

She didn’t look like Bellamy at all. Her hair was a little lighter brown, her freckles were unbelievably more subtle and, while Bellamy’s dark eyes were full of irony and spite, her olive green eyes were full of heat and fierce energy. But what Raven liked the most was her smile. Damn. Her smile was more defiant than sarcastic, with all the world’s mistery in that little dimple on the corner, in all the right and wrong ways. It screamed that she wanted trouble, that she was trouble, with the eyebrows slightly arched leaving the slight suspicion that this girl would set something on fire only because she could. Impossible to trust, let alone to resist. Octavia Blake intrigued Raven. A little messy, slightly ruined, a beautiful disaster, just like her.

“What’s it?” Octavia asked opening her eyes, and Raven blinked in confusion, only to realize she had been staring at the girl for a few minutes, the wet cloth still pressed to her lip. She dropped the rag and cleared her throat, glancing at her tools.

“I should be the one asking.” she raised an eyebrow, wiping her hands on her jeans and getting up. “Please, don’t tell me Kane wants more of these tone generators. I haven’t sleep in almost two days and I barely feel my-”

Octavia smiled and grimaced. She flexed her fingers, slowly brushing one of the small braids in her hair, that were apparently some kind of grounder fashion or shit. With the braids, the hair wouldn’t fall on their eyes as they fought, and it was all kinds of convenient, because, honestly, they looked badass with it.

“Actually, it’s Clarke and Bellamy.” Octavia rolled her eyes and touched her nose, whose bleeding had stalled. Raven sighed deeply and closed her eyes.

“Clarke again?” she took off Octavia’s hand from her face.

“I mean, it’s already the fifth time this week.” the girl went back on her feet, visibly frustrated, fumbling uncomfortably at the bruise on her mouth. “She should fucking move in with Lexa already. If Abby finds out about it...”

“Stop touching your wounds. Abby will have our heads for helping, she hates it when I go to Tondc...” Raven rummaged through the mess of her own desk until she found a little control made with an old radio, copper wire, and an antenna, and tucked it into the pocket of her tattered jacket. “Why is your useless brother coming, anyway?”

“Don’t be so mean. Bell’s desperate to be part of something, it seems he’s not much of a leader here.”

“I honestly don’t know how I keep getting envolved in your fucked up plans.” She bit her lip as she felt the thud of pain spread over her bad leg, but with some luck Octavia didn’t seem to notice.

“As somebody could do shit here without you.” the younger girl rolled her eyes and dragged the mechanic out of the workshop.

In the past weeks, whenever she was at the camp, Octavia spent more time on Raven’s place than anywhere else.

It wasn’t that Raven invited the girl. She just... came.

At first, she used to sit nervously amidst the place’s metal mess and keep herself quiet, watching as Raven repaired and built the tone generators, waiting restlessly until she fell asleep in the midst of all that metal. Then she began to prowl around Raven in silence, and looking everything she could with curiosity in her eyes, tinkering with pieces and gears, and only when she nearly blew up a fuse the mechanic lost her patience and asked what the hell she was doing there. Octavia, temperamental and moody, replied that she had nothing better to do since Indra was always busy with Lexa and the grounfers - who didn’t let her participate in politics - and Lincoln was missing, so she wanted to see how the progress of the generators was going to find him and bring him back.

Then Raven instantly developed this soft spot for the girl. She knew how it was to lose someone you love. She got a more comfortable place for Octavia and explained to her how the basics of mechanics and chemistry worked, how to build rocket fuel bombs, and a few stories about her mother, all in a attempt to distract her. Octavia sat by sharpening her sword, confined to a sort of nervous energy as Raven took care of the generators, and it was a relief after all to have company. Raven even tried to teach Octavia some things, but she was a complete disaster in everything that required patience and calm.

And, damn, she knew how to tease. She went from hot to sweet in a matter of seconds, making Raven’s heart flutter and leaving her almost aimlessly, especially when she smiled – that cocky, challenging grin that was almost annoying but undeniably irresistible.

Even fighting felt good, and they were always teasing each other until it turned into a death match to see who could be a bigger bitch. And, for fuck’s sake, Octavia wasn’t a piece of cake, and it was really easy to get on her nerves – even accidentally. But, if Raven didn’t fought her everyday, she’d just stand alone in her shed, fighting against herself anyway. It felt good having someone to argue with. It was good to feel something, for a change. It felt good having late night talks about blue butterflies and rocket fuel. She felt warm inside, it seemed almost like things mattered.

Plus, time went by like jazz and for a few hours a day, Raven forgot the pain – all of it. Octavia forgot, too. Even without speaking much, for a few hours in months they took some of the weight of the world they were carrying on their backs. And Raven didn’t feel so alone and failed. Octavia didn’t feel useless and weak.

You know, the law of compensation was not exactly ratified in Raven's favor, however, after messing up big time, it seemed as the universe was kind of meant to make amends and pamper her like an absent father. Even if she was suspicious, stubborn and irreducible.

They went to find Clarke and Bellamy behind the Mecca Station, facing the electric fence and with the dark hood pulled over her head. Clarke now wore the braided hair in the grounder style, and polished a dagger with a leather cord that Lexa had given to her. And she was just cleaning it up when Raven and Octavia arrived, looking extremely irritated with the restless boy at her side. Bellamy Blake was the complete opposite of his sister. With a long face and cruel eyebrows, purposely messy hair and ragged clothes that didn’t match his clean face – for the first time free of any injury. Someone had to make up for Octavia.

"Listen, Princess." Raven limped toward her, stinging her finger into the blonde’s chest authoritatively. "I'm not going to interrupt my work to help you escape to the grounder camp, okay? It's better be important.”

“I'm going to see Lexa.” She replied, as if it were obviously important. Octavia suppressed a laugh, probably because of Raven's livid expression. Bellamy interrupted:

"We have an important meeting with the commander, reviewing maps, charting new routes-”

“Reviewing maps?” Octavia smirked, which looked cute with the bruised lip. "Yeah, little brother, only with you around."

The boy frowned, visibly confused, his fingers uneasy.

"What happened to your face?" He looked worried, and Octavia looked away, bothered.

"You'd better not take this, handsome.” Raven interrupted and pointed at the gun. "They'll never let you in carrying a rifle."

Bellamy slipped the handle of the gun over his head and dropped it to the floor, reluctant and moody as a spoiled child, without taking his eyes off Raven. He assumed the inexpressiveness of someone who would undoubtedly say something cruel, only because he wanted to.

“I understand. After your boyfriend-”

“Bellamy.” Octavia warned dangerously, flexing her fists. Raven's jaw caught briefly as her throat tightened and the flurry of indigestible memories made her head hurt.

"All right, Blake, I got it.” She pulled the remote from her pocket and pressed a sequence of buttons. Then she opened a compartment behind the radio and pulled out a small blue wire. Raven raised her forefinger to her lips, and Octavia looked around. The voices coming from Arkadia's courtyard seemed distant, as if they were heard from underwater. Then the soft buzz of electricity from the fence vanished, and Raven kicked a rock toward the metal to make sure it was no longer electrified. The stone struck the wire gently and fell to the floor.

“Brilliant.” Octavia raised her eyebrows, while Clarke was already crawling under the fence, smiling. Raven only saw her this happy when she was on the other side of the fence, why she had nicknamed it the "Electric Fence Effect" and expected an opportunity to share her theory with the world. She was so happy that Raven was afraid to enter Lexa's tent at the wrong time and see things that would cause her nightmares and fall into a black hole of consciousness. Bellamy was next, careful not to get caught in the strings.

Octavia slid through the dry leaves to the other side.

"You coming, Reyes?" She asked, her brows raised, her expression carved in sarcasm. For no reason, Raven felt her heart racing. She was too young for palpitations. Palpitations in her case could kill.

She thought of the generators that were missing. In the extreme tiredness she felt. On her useless and aching leg.

And she slipped under the fence.

X

Raven was pissed and the air smelled good. For quite different reasons.

Raven was a pissed because at the entrance to the grounder camp, a tattooed guy twice her size had searched her and tried to take the her brace thinking it was a weapon. Her brace was no hidden weapon of the sky people. Her brace was a sophisticated and beautifully mounted device, an engineering masterpiece, built by her exclusively for her.

And the air smelled good because of Lexa.

A strong smell of something natural came from the commander's tent, and Octavia covered her nose with a grimace. The smell wasn’t bad, but surely someone would die suffocated inside the fur tent with a great concentration of it.

“What the fuck ...”

“Lexa.” Octavia said. "She's obsessed with these things."

Raven didn’t know what "things" were, but she even enjoyed the smell, which looked a lot like the natural junk shop Kane's mother ran on the Ark. Of course they were not really natural, but the incense had this delicious scent that made Raven imagine what life on earth would be like, and Finn would always buy her when there was money left over. There, with the smell of real nature, the scent began to sate.

"Are those" Bellamy took a deep breath. “scented candles? Like the ones they sell at Kane's mom's store?”

“Yes. They produce this here as a therapeutic item for healers ... and for the commander.” Octavia said, rolling her good eye as the other one was closed because of the bruise. The scent of the candles began to stick in the roof of their mouth and nose as they moved closer to Lexa's tent, and Clarke grew more agitated.

"I think you'd better go in." Octavia smiled. "The commander is in a good mood today."

It was obvious that Lexa was in a good mood. As tough as the commander of the twelve land clans might be, whenever there was any clue that Clarke would show up, some cognitive area within her began to emit clear signals from her human side. As much as she vomited in the face of everyone that love was a weakness - and Raven fully agreed with that part - and that she had isolated herself from all this, only being too blind or too much Bellamy not to realize how infatuated she was, and how true the reciprocal was. But Lexa surely wouldn’t be lighting up scented candles if she knew Clarke was bringing the wonderful Bellamy Blake with her.

"That won’t last." Raven looked at Bellamy, and Octavia laughed,

"I wouldn’t want to be around."

“What?” He asked, pulling his sweaty hair back. “Why?”

"Nothing, Bellamy.” Clarke frowned angrily. "You two are impossible.”

“We do our best.” Raven rested her hand on her chest as if touched by the compliment. "By the way, Blake, you better bite your tongue to talk at that meeting. Commander Hot Stuff can be quite formal, I mean, at least with us. Clarke, is she like that to you too, or does she simply have no time for peasants? Ah,” Raven blinked at Bellamy. “If they want some alone time ... better leave. I'd hate to get into that tent at the wrong time.”

“Raven!” Clarke growled. Literally growled, teeth clenched and brows furrowed like a wild animal. “We did not even-”

��Still.” Raven smirked, while Octavia was amused on her side, and Bellamy looked totally lost. Clarke bared her teeth, as if she were really an animal ready to attack Raven, and grabbed the boy by the collar of his jacket.

“Come on, Bellamy!” She pushed him violently into the tent, and Raven sighed briefly. She would give anything to see the expression on Lexa's face.

“I hoped Lexa isn’t naked or something”

"She's gonna kill us both." Octavia said with a serious expression, to which Raven cracked her tongue in the roof of her mouth as if no threat from Clarke Griffin could be taken seriously. The problem was just the opposite. Raven put her hands on her waist and looked around:

"You already know my workshop upside down, how about introducing me to the village?" She pushed the girl's shoulder lightly. Octavia raised her eyebrow defiantly,

"That's not a bad idea, Zero-G. Have you ever handled a sword before?”

Raven laughed mockingly.

"I don’t need swords, Pocahontas.” She patted the pocket where her screwdriver was and a few loose pieces of pieces. "I have science in my favor.”

“Oh yes?” Octavia smiled in that way that Raven liked: sarcastic, full of malice and defiance. The heart threatened to accelerate again. Then she took out the two swords she had on her belt and tossed one to Raven, who almost barely caught it. "Then let's see what the younger, most brilliant mechanic of the Ark got to me. Come on.”

Octavia thrust the sword back into the scabbard and walked with determined steps, leaving Raven no choice but to follow her – I mean, or that, or to be completely alone in a camp full of wild grounders that still harbored a deep rancor of her because of the attempted murder of Lexa, which Raven hadn’t even been responsible for. But it was complicated to explain this to a whole clan of angry people snarling and drooling and with very sharp swords, then no, thank you.

"Look, Pocahontas, I do not know if you've noticed it before or been told, but I have a damaged nerve in my leg, which makes it almost completely useless and a little annoying for me to move.” Raven pointed at one leg as she struggled to limp alongside Octavia with her heavy brace. "It sucks, but I'm dealing. But I'm not like the others. I can’t fight.”

Octavia slowed and turned to Raven, smiling and walking on her back.

"You're seeing things from the wrong point, Rae. Indra taught me that we, warriors of life, must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and know that the Universe conspires in our behalf, even if we can’t understand how.” She glanced around, and a little of the sun's reflection in the trees lit up her eyes, making them look spattered with gold. Raven was breathless for a few seconds. It was not only Clarke who looked happier and more complete on earthly ground; She has never seen Octavia so full of life. "You tell me your leg is a handicap. Maybe. But we can make it an advantage as well.”

"So what's the strategy for broken warriors?" Raven raised her eyebrows as Octavia led her into a clearing in the middle of the forest, where the sun beat a little on the fallen leaves and there was a huge "OcB" chipped in one of the trees. "So this is your workshop or what? Cool. Rustic, kinda oldschool. I would put a surround sound device on that rock there, and maybe a fridge with soda near the moss.”

"I'll think about hiring your decorating services, Reyes.” Octavia plunged her sword into the damp ground. The place definitely smelled of nature, although the scent of Lexa's aromatic candles was stuck to Raven's nostrils and throat.

Octavia frowned and picked up the sword from the ground.

“Where I was?”

"You were going to teach me the ninja trick of the broken grounders.” Raven pretended to strike her in the wind. Octavia intercepted the blow and drew the sword from her hand as easily as she would take a candy from a child's hand.

“The two biggest mistakes you can commit strategically speaking are: act prematurely and let an opportunity slip away.” Octavia extended the handle of the sword to Raven, with a smile. "That's why grounder warriors treat each situation as unique and never use formulas, tricks, or the opinion of other people. It's quite simple, to be honest: you let them get tired for you. You will only move when much needed.”

Raven felt her leg throb terribly with pain, and the effort of limping had left her forehead covered with droplets of cold sweat. But she would never admit it to the girl, so she let her talk about some grounder battle techniques and teach Raven how to handle a sword. And she had to admit, Octavia was good at it. Very good. Patient with errors and steady with lessons, even if Raven often got lost in her voice or in the careful movements that made her body appear light and fluid like water. If she hadn’t been born for it, then Raven could not tell who was.

She even thought of making some joke about how much Octavia was great at teaching but ridiculously too stubborn to learn things - again - but the truth was she could not impose respect for it, ‘cause every time she was knocked to the ground her teeth clenched and her patience bar fell in half.

But Raven wasn’t about to give up, even if the blows hurt little - it was clear that Octavia was getting too easy on her, for she only bumped lightly against the blunt side of the sword rather than actually knocking. It was just that she felt too exhausted to plan any strategy and was simply blocking the best she could without attacking. Either way, Octavia seemed to be enjoying herself and that was good.

But it was on the fourth or fifth time on the ground that her leg faltered, and she felt a ripping pain rise from the base of her calf to her ears, making Raven feel completely dizzy. It was as if an arrow struck her and was turned inside, being pulled hard and tearing the flesh along the way.

"You're making things too easy ..." The smug smile on Octavia's face vanished as she saw the tears in Raven's eyes. “Rae?”

She could taste the blood on her mouth, her lip bit into the effort not to scream. Octavia dropped her sword and crouched down beside her, wiping sweat from the palms of her hands on her pants.

"Raven ..." Her voice sounded surprisingly gentle, and she wrenched a few wet strands from Raven's hair back.

“It's fine.” She answered, resting her trembling arms as she tried to stand up. Octavia took her shoulder gently, but her hand was pushed away. "I said I'm fine, Octavia.”

Raven grimaced as she sat down with some difficulty. They both knew she could not get up now, not when her leg practically throbbed because of the pain, so Octavia sat down beside her and sighed deeply.

“Why you didn’t tell me?” Octavia asked calmly, without touching her. She could feel her heart heavy with guilt pressing down her ribs, but it was funny how much she felt damped by the situation.

Raven's skin was pale from the effort. She had the most beautiful brown eyes Octavia had ever seen, but now they were contoured by deep circles under them, as well as slightly swollen by crying. She seemed genuinely exhausted from her own existence. Octavia used to feel that way back then, but that was another story.

“It's none of your business.” She swallowed hard, and that could not be a good sign, could it?

“When did the pain start?” Octavia asked, as if the previous sentence had not existed.

“Octavia-“

“When did the pain start?” She repeated silabically, and suddenly she had an arm around Raven’s back, gently caressing her arm over the fabric of her jacket. Raven was silent for long minutes, which seemed like forever.

"After the explosion in ..." she replied reluctantly, staring at her with watery eyes and her voice breaking. Octavia wanted to cry too, but at least her eyes would not turn her over as they did to Raven. “in Mount Weather.”

"You didn’t tell Abby, Raven, that was a month ago.” She blinked quickly and tensed her muscles as Raven frowned.

“I’m fine!” she repeated vehemently, her teeth clenched causing the jaw line to harden. Raven propped both arms on the dew-damp ground and tried to get up, but an involuntary shudder eventually forced her back to the floor, growling in frustration. "Abby's got a lot on her mind already.”

Octavia looked at her, trying her best not to look as incredulous as she was, not because she didn’t know how to handle it but hey, that was Raven, the only person besides her brother who had cared for her in months, killing herself because of a pain in the hip and acting as if it was nothing too much. How could life do these things and put Octavia to solve all the relationships problems that seventeen years in prison had saved her from solving, all in one relationship? I mean, that was not even a relationship. Everything was so difficult because, come on, she didn’t know how to use the words, and her English notes on the Ark were not even that good.

Octavia felt something warm tickle the skin of her upper lip, and realized that her nose was bleeding again. When she saw it, Raven had already taken a rag from her pocket and pressed it against her nose, gently tilting her head back with her free hand.

How could Raven Reyes care more about the world than about herself? Maybe she was the embodiment of what Lexa called "inner peace," while Octavia could only think of swearing and how much that girl deserved the best that that fucked up world could offer.

"Rae ..." She gently pushed Raven's hand away from her face, as the girl insisted on pressing the cloth there. "Raven, listen to me, stop worrying about that stupid bleeding." This time she pushed the girl's hand away. "Enough, I'm tired of you doing this all the time.”

“Doing what?” Raven frowned, clearly defensive.

“This.” She sighed in frustration. "You need to stop giving yourself so much to things outside of yourself, do you understand the idea? How could you think I wouldn’t care about your leg?”

Raven looked at Octavia. Genuinely looked, as if she had never seen her before.

After those months on Earth fighting for their own survival and for the protection of their people as a whole, it was surprisingly easy to forget that they were ... just kids. But now, Octavia Blake, stripped of her face paint and warrior posture, seemed to be exactly what she was as she yawned and wiped her damp eyes – a girl of only seventeen, shoulders slumped and tired eyes. She ran her fingers absently over the leather straps that held Raven's brace.

She was nineteen, living proof that the pain required no talent and would come to anyone, and her hands were shaken and rough with scars. Even so, when Octavia looked at her, it was like having the absurd urge to climb a mountain. Difficult, even exhausting, highly abandonable. But then, all at once, you reach the top and your aching muscles land on the grass, and her gaze was like the first breath of fresh air - when you look up at the sky and the feeling of completeness spreads across your chest to the fingertips.

"You could not get off the horse that time. I saw you struggling with your brace this morning. Raven, you don’t fool anyone.” She sighed deeply. "Abby can help you, she cares about you."

“I don’t need help!” Raven yelled, every inch of her trembling as she tried to get up. "I'm tired of everyone pitying me, doing ... things for me, because they think I'm not capable. I'm not broken, Octavia! I'm not useless as everyone thinks! Maybe you're right, I'm not fine, but which one of us is? Since we put our feet in this damn place, nothing has been right. And you ... don’t think that I don’t know, that I don’t see ... Lincoln was your refuge, you became part of his people so you don’t have to face yours! It's not just me running away, Octavia!”

It was only a matter of seconds before the two of them rose to their feet, a few inches from each other, the heavy breath making their chest rise and fall uncontrollably. Octavia had her hands clenched in her fist, her nails sinking into the palm of her hand and her jaw locked.

“Shut up.” She growled at Raven, who had finally balanced herself on the injured leg. "I'm not doing this with you, Reyes. No way. As soon as we return to Arkadia, Abby will examine you, whether you like it or not.”

“You wanna bet?” Raven took a step forward, staring up at Octavia with a smile that smothered scorn. "Why do you care, anyway?"

Octavia hesitated.

"Because" She moistened her lips, hesitant. Why? Why? Why? "Because you're one of us, Raven. You're one of the hundred. And I...”

She shut her mouth as Raven stared at her, her brow furrowed. The brown eyes flashed as they alternated between the green hues of hers, clearly seeking a continuation. Dammit, if she knew how much the love of the sub-thought was an energetic injection that made Octavia's fingertips tickle, she wouldn’t come with those lemon eyes. Without answer, Reyes closed her eyes.

“That's what I thought.” She growled, bumping into Octavia's shoulder as she limped out of the clearing. The girl didn’t leave the place.

Octavia knew quite well that, lately, hope was like drowning. When you begin to see the sunlight and your hands are already out of the water, something pulls you from the waist to the bottom before you can experience the air. But she couldn’t help it. Locking herself up in the very nihilism as Jasper did was the worst thing that could happen.

With that, Octavia grabbed her own sword and furiously attacked the nearest tree, letting each splinter fall to the ground, as if it were all the shit she had made in her life. A thunder echoed in the distance, and Octavia felt the salty taste of tears on her lips.

She never liked storms, thunderstorms or getting wet. But now ... now that she seemed to understand more clearly that the world would never leave her alone, that fear and grief would always spread in her like a second skin, she longed for the ease of the rain.

[spacekru-sass]

the ice king’s queen (IV)

A story based on a dream I had of a character set in season 4. But every character has their journey to take, their backstory that tells how they got to where and who they were. And with the hiatus til Season 5? We’ve got time to make up

part 1   part 2  part 3 part 5

tag list: @lovelynerdytraveler@mischievousweasleys @floralfangurl @p3nny4urth0ught5

Warning: there is mentioned underage sex reference in here, please be warned. 

I LOVE LOVE LOVE FEEDBACK so please don’t hesitate to tell me what you love, what you don’t love, what you hope to see for this character! Feedback keeps me in touch with the reader and we all want to succeed, right? I want you to read a good story, which keeps me writing because you’re happy! <3

Avie woke up later that evening to Octavia screaming outside. Bellamy had already sat up, his warm embrace gone from her waist. He held a stiff expression, not even throwing on a shirt as he moved out of the tent to save his sister from the distress outside. Avie followed in suit, clad only in a tank top and some pants, a blanket wrapped around you.

“What’s going on?” she asked, glancing up to the sky as a dropship flamed it’s way to Earth.

“They're coming to help us. Now we can kick some grounder ass,” one of the guys behind her cheers and she rolls her eyes as one of the tarts of camp prayed for shampoo.

“Shampoo is the least important thing, maybe it’s guns or food supplies,” Avie insisted, “Medical equipment; maybe they think with us taking off our wristbands that we’re sick.” She glanced up at Bellamy to see the shocked expression on his face.

10 minutes later, Avie was dressed in Bellamy’s tent. She pulled on her makeshift holster that she’d made and slid her blade in. “What are you doing?” he asked tensely.

“I’m getting ready to go, we should get out there before the grounders do. If it cleared the ridge, it's probably near the lake,” she said but he pursed his lips, crossed his arms.

“No one's going anywhere. Not while it's dark. It isn't safe,” he insisted, “Go back to bed.” His expression was mute, a hidden temple of secrets that Avie had regretfully wanted to crack open.

“Bellamy Blake, I saw your facial expression outside,” Avie’s hands hung from her holster, “You need to tell me what you did, are they coming for you? What did you do?” She pushed but he only glanced away.

“Go back to bed Hummingbird,” he spoke softly, disappearing into the chaos of camp to inform everyone that they were staying put until morning. But when had Avie ever listened to the shaggy haired boy. She turned to blow out the light in the tent when her eyes made contact with the pistol next to Bellamy’s mattress. Better protection, right? She reached for it quickly, and blew out the lantern before disappearing out of the walls.

The trek to the dropship wasn’t that long, maybe a mile or two away but through a passage of trees, she saw the small metal box. She pulled the pistol from the back of her pants, double checking that the safety was off before holding it up cautiously and moving toward the ship. She fanned away some smoke as she heard some fuzz coming from a radio, a radio.

She moved forward before hearing a noise from behind her. She turned quickly only to be met by Bellamy. “Bell, what are you--,” he hit her over the head begrudgingly as she fell to the ground, unconscious. When she came to, she was being shaken by Clarke, dried blood caked to her forehead.

“Avie, what the hell happened to you?” Clarke mumbled, helping her sit up. Avie groaned, her baseball cap on the ground a few feet from her.

“Bellamy,” she grunted, standing up and moving to the dropship. “He was probably after the rad-, oh god, the radio,” she remembered, rushing to open the door. The radio was gone, only to find a young female, bloody and bruised. “Hi,” she breathed out, the girl looking wide-eyed at her.

“Hi,” she replied, matching the same look. She glanced down around her, the helmet shattered, the blood on her spacesuit dried a sickly brown maroon. “I made it?” she asked, looking back to Avie who nodded with a thoughtful grin.

“Yeah,” she helped her out, watching her blissfully turn around as Clarke watched. For a moment, the dangers of Earth, of Bellamy, of the Ark didn’t matter. Clarke and Avie were brought back to their first steps of the ground, merely 12 days before. The raindrops are refreshing as Finn comes into view and Raven kisses him, touching his face affectionately. Finn looks to Clarke, she’s devastated and Avie slid her hand down to grasp Clarke’s. She squeezes as the two interacted, Finn coming over for a tense moment.

Raven explained the situation of the Ark, about how she was supposed to have come down with Clarke’s mom, running back to the dropship. “We have to radio them! Tell them you’re alive,” Raven yelled.

“The radio’s gone,” Avie announced as the three turned to look at her, “This is all my fault, I should’ve shot him,” she raised her eyebrows at Finn angrily. “We have to find him.” Avie turns to run back to camp to confront the man who she clearly no longer knew, the other three on her heels. She saw him in the distance, walking along but didn’t have a chance to speak as Clarke got to him first.

“Hey! Where is it?”

“Hey, princess. You taking a walk in the woods?” he gruffed, his eyes staring straight forward as he continued moving through the trees.

“They're getting ready to kill 300 people up there to save oxygen. And I can guarantee you it won't be council members. It'll be working people. Your people. Bellamy. Where's the radio?” Avie cried out, catching up to them. Being out of breath didn’t stop her from stepping forward and shoving the man forcefully.

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Bellamy’s jaw was tight, locked as he glanced at Finn, chuckling at how crazy you looked.

“You knocked me out in the woods alone, took all my weapons except a small knife and left me stranded,” you spat in his face, Finn stepping forward to pull you away from him. “You really want to tell me you have no idea what I’m talking about?” He was looking directly at you now, eyes filled with regret and confusion. He gulped and turned to catch someone’s eye who would help him.

“Bellamy Blake? They're looking everywhere for you,” Raven stepped forward, standing next to you with her hands on her hips.

“Shut up.”

“Looking for him, why?” Clarke asked, your eyes staring intently at Bellamy’s face, then to Raven.

“He shot Chancellor Jaha,” Raven announced and you stepped back in shock at her words. Mouth agape, you stared openly at him. All the work she did to keep him out of trouble, all the sacrifices Avie had made to keep him from being locked up, from being floated.

“That's why you took the wristbands. Needed everyone to think we're dead. And all that "whatever the hell we want"? You just care about saving your own skin,” Clarke spelt out but Avie had already moved away from the pack, slumped against a tree. Her chest compressed, tightly wound up as all the memories that led her to her sentence a lost cause, he was a criminal regardless. Her state went unnoticed.

Avie’s focus came to as Bellamy threatened Raven’s life, taking a step forward as the two got in each other’s faces. “That’s enough,” she gasped out, everyone turning to look at her. She doubled over, huffing for air.

“Jaha deserved to die. You all know that,” Avie shook her head as Finn came to her side. She held her hand up, signaling she was fine.

“Yeah, he's not my favorite person, either. But he isn't dead. You're a lousy shot.” Avie had heard enough. After learning that Bellamy had thrown the radio into a ravine, she stocked off into that direction. She felt like she was going to throw up or maybe pass out. She lived with her decisions for a year, thinking that what she’d done was right as long as it had saved Bellamy; given him a real chance. He’d been the best in his class, he was smart. He had potential. But everything she’d done had gone to waste.

“Avie,” his voice cracked as she began sloshing through the water, his hand clasped around her wrist.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t come near me, don’t look at me,” she seethed, ripping her arm from his grasp.

“Avie, please understand, I did it-,”

“Don’t you dare say you did it for me and O,” she laughed effortlessly. His head cocked to the side, unsure of how to response to Avie’s attitude. “You want to know what I did to take care of you?” Avie spat in his face, pushing him backward so he fell in the water, splashes rising up to douse his face in water. Everyone turned for a moment before quickly turning away, leaving the drama as a personal moment. “I slept with the guard, for you. I insisted that I wouldn’t tell anyone, that I would take full blame if he let you go.”

Bellamy stared up at her in shock, face gone pale, a frown appearing on his lips as he stood in the water. “Don’t, I don’t want your pity. Hummingbird always finds a way, right? I did what I had to do to give you a real chance at a life and I did it all for nothing,” she chuckled humorlessly again, holding her hands up, “because here you are.” She cleared her throat. “So, do me a favor, leave me alone.”

“I found it,” Raven yelled behind her, holding up the dripping radio from the water.