op-holding

[hdrobby]

𝖚𝖗 𝖒𝖞 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖘 — & 𝖒𝖞 𝖘𝖚𝖓 ☆ ☼

𝐕𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐒,  pounding heartbeats, mouth running dry. 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒,  𝖇𝖆𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓𝖌𝖍𝖔, 𝖘𝖔𝖓 𝖙𝖆𝖊𝖌𝖞𝖊𝖔𝖒. 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐒,  a check-in with his heart. ♡ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓,  written in approx. 𝟏,𝟐𝟑𝟎 words.

he’s never felt like this before, & the longer he lives with these stormy thoughts brewing in his head, & the more he learns to cope with the heaviness in his heart that genuinely makes it feel like it’s about to sink into the acidic depths of his stomach, the more crazy he’s being driven. in truth, he never expected to create such serious, intimate bonds with people in south korea. at the start, he had his mind only on the prize ahead of him — laser-focused on only training for the absolute bare minimum time-frame before being unveiled to the public. life felt simpler back then, & in some ways, he longs for that same minimalism, but life has a way about introducing road blocks onto a person’s path — causing them to stop, reflect on what’s important, & then proceed; cautiously or recklessly. nowadays, it seems like he’s been running into a lot of those on his journey to the top, & while his goals should take priority, that hasn’t been the case. while he’s dedicated to becoming a performer professionally, he’s becoming wrapped up in a triangle of affairs with two men that have entered his life; who’ve completely taken over it. all thoughts are colored by them, he takes their feelings into consideration before acting on anything, & he feels himself becoming so attached to them that, now, being an idol isn’t what’s most crucial anymore. instead, the pair of them have taken the number one spot on his exclusive list of priorities.

if that wasn’t complicated enough, the fact that there are two individuals who’ve put him in this position instills an anxiousness in his soul that he has no idea what to do with. even putting his limbs to work by dancing for hours on end doesn’t release the tension, & that sensation is foreign to him; unheard of. typically, he becomes fixated — obsessed — with one romantic prospect at a time, but ever since he started to get to know both sungho, & taegyeom, the more he’s realizing that the love he feels for them both is immense; more grand than anything he’s ever experienced in his entire life. robby’s always been someone who feels things in extremes. every emotion is amped up to as powerful as they can be felt, & there’s no gray area to be found in his rigid world of black & white. it’s love or hate; life or death; good or evil. when it comes to them, he knows that he’s in love, & is absolutely devastated at the idea of having to choose one, or the other, to commit to because, to him, being without either of them would make him feel like he’s on the verge of his demise. it seems dramatic, but it’s where he’s at, & the feeling of being ripped in half is severe.

however, the situation only continues to grow in complexity because, with how hyde academy is turning out, it seems highly likely that all three of them will end up in the same boy group, & with that, they’ll all be residing in the same dormitory. the thought of all of them being in such close quarters both excites, & terrifies, robby, especially since he hasn’t talked to them about what’s been going on in his mind lately; what his heart’s been trying to desperately communicate to his rationale. as he’s someone that doesn’t open up easily to others, much less trust them, he’s been fighting this internal battle all on his own — not even jamie, his own brother, is aware of the turmoil that he’s been undergoing; his knack for keeping himself a mystery strong as ever. though, as time goes on, he knows that he needs to have conversations with both of them in order to figure out how to proceed; how to navigate this roadmap that, at the moment, seems like its printed in a completely different language.

because the competition is still ongoing, robby doesn’t know when would be the best time to pull them aside, one at a time, to confess his feelings, but to also explain his dilemma, & how, maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t have to make a decision. he feels as though he’s capable of loving both of them without placing one over the other. in fact, he’s very confident that he’ll be able to show them what he means, & how seriously he’s taking this, & how carefully he’s considering them in this. he knows it’s not going to be easy, & that it’s going to take a lot of work for all of them to get on the same page, but he’s dedicated to proving to them that he’s adamant on committing to them; that his fierce loyalty belongs to them, if they wish to possess it. that’s what’s most aggravating about this — not fully knowing how they’ll react to his emotions; to his desires. the unknown has honestly never scared him, per se, but it causes annoyance when he can’t figure out the answers himself. so, being that it’s coming down to the wire, he has to figure out a plan of attack, & after mulling things over, he’s decided to start by talking to sungho; the man who took him by surprise.

when the two of them first met, robby never expected that he’d fall for him — that their casual, experimental encounters would guide them to deep conversations, passionate soul searching, spiritual connections, & mirrored souls. discovering more about him formed a bond that, to him, feels unbreakable, & he’s become so addicted to sungho that he feels somewhat foolish for letting himself enjoy the free-fall so much, but as he’s heard before, love is a fool’s game — one where losing in love is detrimental, but winning is the most beautiful, life-changing thing in the world. he’s coming to terms with that now, & knows that, out of the two of them, sungho is most likely to understand & hear him out; to react calmly, sweetly, affectionately, softly.

taegyeom, on the other hand, is a loose cannon; someone so full of passionate & infernal fire. robby’s scared that his reaction will cause damage — third degree burns that take a long time to heal. his spiritedness, & his wild fervor, are things that robby adores about him, & he felt that intensity the moment they met. he recalls it as if it were just yesterday — seeing him for the very first time & immediately knowing that he needed to be linked to him somehow. it was such a strong visceral reaction, & even now, he still feels it. that being said though, he recognizes that they’re similar in ways that could be harmful, & destructive, & he knows that, as taegyeom can be overwhelmingly competitive & rough, the idea of ❝ sharing ❞ won’t please him.

robby has no expectations going into this. he has hopes, & dreams, but he knows that the final call isn’t his to make on his own. the anticipation is killing him, but he also knows that bombarding the two of them with how he feels right before hyde academy wraps up isn’t a good idea, so he waits with bated breath. he’s presently planning out the best course of action for both conversations so, when the fateful day does arrive, he’ll be prepared for whatever comes his way.

[hdrobby]

𝖆𝖈𝖙 𝖎𝖎𝖎, 𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖊 𝖎.

𝖘𝖞𝖓𝖔𝖕𝖘𝖎𝖘,  robby performs ❝ 𝖇𝖑𝖚𝖊 𝖋𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖊. ❞ 𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘,  jamie han, mason lee, son taegyeom. 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙,  written in roughly 𝟏,𝟎𝟗𝟎 words.

to put it plainly, robby’s been pretty bored for this leg of the competition. it’s not so much out of overconfidence, per se, but more that he, unfortunately, finds the song selection really dull this go around. it’s not as though it’s one of 365′s worst releases, he’s not saying that, but when compared to ❛ maverick, ❜ it doesn’t pack the same punch, especially when the choreography is taken into consideration. as he’s a dancer above all, he looks forward to spending hours upon hours learning moves, adding his own flair to them, perfecting his angles, & really pouring all of his soul into the performance through his motions alone. this time, however, the combinations his group’s been given are simple — way too simple, he’d wager — & it took him little-to-no time to memorize everything ;; the ease of it immediately being picked up by muscle memory in a way that he’s used to, which is a bittersweet sensation for him.

clearly, the obstacle he faces is meant to test his other skills — the ones that aren’t as polished as his dancing. it goes without saying that he’s not the most confident in his singing voice, & he doesn’t think he’s a bad singer, but if he draws comparisons between him & the others signed to wonder nation, it’s clear that they’re far more advanced than he is ;; his own brother included in the list of guys he’s thinking about. being that they’re on the same team, he leaned on jamie a lot for guidance ;; grateful that the two of them could lift one another up during this portion of the show. with his sibling’s help, he was able to work on his parts enough to feel better about his odds, but there’s still a little devil on his shoulder informing him that failure is a possibility, especially since he may have some bad karma looming above him.

nevertheless, all of the preparation is behind him as he steadies himself onstage ;; his heartbeat escalating more than in the last round, but that’s mostly due to the fact that he’s been pushed out of his comfort zone here. all robby can do is his best, & while he personally believes that it’s enough to put him in the judges’ good graces, he doesn’t want to get too ahead of himself. it’s confidence that gets people further in life, not cockiness, & instead of being delusional about his talents, he’s choosing to be self-aware. what his voice is known for is its color, its tone ;; one that has been called ❛ unique ❜ since his audition. it’s gentle rasp, medium-high range, tasteful nasality, & slight ❛ emo whine ❜ captures attention, even if it’s technically imperfect. he’s not concerned about being in tune, or launching into stable high notes, no — he’s focused on leaning into his ear-catching timbre, & performing a detailed dance.

once the beat starts, his limbs unfold like the petal of a flower — honing in on the angles & lines of each movement as opposed to packing them with power, & well-timed tension. this song is a softer one, in general, & it needs to be paired with actions that match its vibe ;; ones that flow with a delicate swing & sharpness. however, he tries his best not to get too wrapped up in the choreography. instead, he’s taking a note from the others :: dance in a way that makes it easier to control breath support. as he’s leading the first verse, his vocal sets the tone for the song, & as his part approaches, he swallows his nerves & goes for it ;; decorating his sound with sultry breathiness to better accentuate the cool production of the song.

he’s not worried about the verses. what he’s concerned about are the choruses he sings. the melody becomes higher, & it requires him to use more breath in order to hit the notes properly. they’re what he worked the hardest on, & he hopes his practicing pays off. though, before he launches into his lines during the first chorus, he gets the pleasure of being able to listen to taegyeom perform right before him, & he smiles at how stunning his voice is. knowing that he’s not only devilishly handsome, but also extremely talented, is one of the many things robby finds so enchanting about him. however, he doesn’t want to get distracted, so as he steps up to bat, he gives it his all. he’s a bit flat on one of the top notes, & his attempt at a riff is messy, but not horrible. the attractiveness of his tonality is still there, so at least that quality's intact.

throughout the duration of the song, robby handles everything well. the bridge he sings is pretty, the performance, as far as dancing goes, is great as expected, but he does flub a little bit, & it’s all because he becomes hopelessly transfixed with one of his group-mates. during the final chorus, as he stands beside taegyeom in the center & sings his half of it, the other’s high notes & their power capture his attention so much that he forgets the lyrics for a second ;; mumbling them out in tune before catching up with them again. not wanting to show any panic on his face, he carries through to the end, but internally, he’s obsessing over his mistake ;; beating himself up as he takes his last stance in the formation, his chest rising & falling slowly as he does his best to catch his breath — the intensity in his gaze strikingly prominent.

in the end, he gets lauded for his dancing & magnetism, but his singing is questioned. as wonder nation is a subsidiary that highlights clean vocals & visuals, they’re a little harder on him for not being better than he is, but do take into consideration that he’s had a rather short training period ;; less than one year, to be specific. they try not to compare him to his brother, but one judge does remark that it’s ❝ shocking ❞ that jamie sings so well, & that robby isn’t anywhere near his level yet. that comment feels like a blade digging into his ego, but he still bows & thanks the judges for their criticism. with this turn, a new fire is ignited within him ;; one that he’ll take with him throughout the rest of the competition. all he can hope is that he remains in the elite class. if not, there’ll be hell to pay for whoever votes him out... that’s for damn sure.

[hdrobby]

𝖆𝖈𝖙 𝖎𝖎, 𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖊 𝖎.

𝖘𝖞𝖓𝖔𝖕𝖘𝖎𝖘,  robby performs ❝ maverick. ❞ 𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘,  various teammates, all named. 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙,  written in roughly 𝟏,𝟏𝟎𝟓 words.

it feels like his last trainee evaluation was only yesterday, & now, here he is :: on-set of a large-scale competition show, one that’s promising him a chance to début if he can keep his head in the game & his mind on the prize. confidence isn’t an issue for him, per se, but the cutthroat energy that swathes him, & the others is potent, especially with the stakes being so high & so much being on the line for all of them. it’s an arduous concept to imagine — being critiqued every week, being given obstacles to overcome that seem never-ending, & all the while, needing to remain liked by not only your fellow competitors, but the hundreds of thousands of people tuning in all across the globe. it’s daunting to know that he’s entering this industry as k-pop is becoming more & more globalized, but robby’s ready for the challenge ;; hoping to use his variegated charms, laser-sharp artistic talents, & fighting spirit to earn himself a position in the label’s upcoming all-male collective. that’s what he moved overseas for, & while he knows he hasn’t trained for nearly as long as his some of his peers have, he can’t help but fantasize about débuting less than a year after relocating.

call it a personal bias, but robby feels as though he deserves a shot at it — proving that he can handle complex choreography, that he’s a natural showman onstage, & that he’s got the visuals to round everything out. sure, there are areas where he lacks, but that’s what’s incredible about being in a group :: the others will fill in the blanks & make up for what he’s not great at. they’ll all rely on one another to boost each other up, even if sometimes line distributions & center time seem unbalanced. at the end of the day, not everything can be fair, & all he can hope is that he’s given ample amounts of time to shine. that being said, however, going into this first stage, he was disappointed that he wasn’t given many opportunities to sing ( especially since his biggest rival, mason, was handed a lot of recording time due to the heavier rap portions of the signal song ), but in practice, he learned that that was honestly a blessing in disguise — one that allows him to focus mostly on his strongest suits :: dance, performance, & visual appeal. it’s not a bad deal, or so he thinks so now.

instead of palling around for this phase, he remained focused on the task at hand — trying his damnedest to avoid distractions, despite there being plenty around him. it was made clear to him that, throughout the set, he’s visible at all times — which, as the main dancer, makes a lot of sense to him. even if he’s not smack-dab in the middle of the formation, he’s near it, or in the front line. hell, even when he’s located in a shadow role behind someone else, he’s able to be viewed due to his proximity to the core. it pleases him immensely, & because he barely sings, robby doesn’t need to worry so much about holding back to save his breath. he’s able to give his full one-hundred-&-fifty percent from the get-go. so, as he takes his stance at the top of the song ( starting center, which is another boost to his ego ), he has his game-face on ;; his often cherubic features donning a cold, yet chic, appearance to them as that’s what the song calls for, & the instant the beat starts, he sets the mood beautifully.

equipped with a scorpio stare & a blazing passion within it, he succumbs to the music ;; his muscles displaying each angle with accuracy, the movements that require power are executed with ease, & as he’s mobile throughout the entire three-&-a-half minutes, he’s memorized where to put the most energy, & where to tone things down to add varied dynamics. when it comes to his singing, the first line is projected well & on-key ;; breath support still solid since it’s at the top of the number. it’s already an improvement from his last evaluation, & he’s glad to know that he’s showing a better side of himself, especially now that it matters even more than before, & as the first chorus approaches, he swaps places with jaeyoung with intention to wow them with his aura — the cropped shirt he’s styled in lifting up high as his arms raise ;; accidentally unveiling his chiseled abdominals & his chest, gaining more attention.

the motion of that alone causes him to inadvertently add sensuality & sexiness to his overall vibe. it’s not anything extreme or grotesque, but it’s present as he carries out the rest of the song — the remainder of his vocals possibly appearing as modestly shouty due to his loss of breath & poor technique. his timbre will always be unique & have its own character, but it’s clear that he’s a dancer who can kind of sing ;; not the other way around. then, when the song ends & he’s in his final placement, his chest rises & falls heavily ;; his fierce expression decorating his adorable countenance still present until they’re given the cue to unfold. he’s unable to fully relax, though, as he knows critiques are awaiting all of them, & when it’s his turn to be reviewed, he waits in bated breath ;; the back of his hand reaching up to dab the sweat that’s accumulated on his brow as he listens to judges — a smile tugging at his lips.

while he doesn’t receive an overwhelmingly perfect score, he’s praised for his dance abilities, as well as his facial expressions & performance quality, in general. his singing ? according to dean, still needs work, but is lauded for its raspy, high-pitched sound — making it a clear standout from the rest of the contestants. it’s stated that they believe he has everything it takes to be an idol, & hopes that he uses the show as an opportunity to polish up his rough-around-the-edges skills to become more well-rounded, & in the end, he takes their words to heart. though, towards the conclusion of his segment, they joke that the viewers at home might be blushing still since his shirt flew up so high, but they enjoyed that he handled it with grace, & that he remained unaffected by it. this, of course, causes him to giggle, bow towards them — a full ninety degrees to show utmost gratitude — & unveil his signature dimples with a beaming smile ;; glad to know that, out of everyone, he came out fairly unscathed.

[hdrobby]

𝖆𝖈𝖙 𝖎, 𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖊 𝖎𝖎.

𝖘𝖞𝖓𝖔𝖕𝖘𝖎𝖘,  robby performs for his evaluation. 𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘,  his temporary group-mates, named. 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙,  written in roughly 𝟖𝟑𝟎 words.

all the tension, fights, & hard work have all led up to this moment, & as he stands in formation with the others, robby takes a deep breath ;; centering himself so that he can fully surrender his body & soul to the performance. it was a difficult process getting here, but despite the awkward spells & blossoming of rivalries, he likes to think that all of them have come together to put on a great show — one that’ll hopefully impress the panel overseeing them. milliseconds before the song starts booming through the speakers, he works on eradicating the worries that mason is going to give it his all ;; as if he has a vengeance out against robby due to their argument. sure, their relationship may have a scar on it now after their tiff, but overall, he regards his senior as a person that’s extremely talented — someone that he wants to keep up with, like a friendly rival. so, even though the two of them have to work together to pull this off, there’s still an air of soft competition between them — one that only further inspires him to strive for perfection ;; to kick his ass & prove he’s deserving of being the group’s main dancer. he fought for the position, now he’s gotta back up his assertion by not disappointing any of them with a subpar showcase.

when the beat drops, his eyes become fierce ;; flames spiraling within his irises as the guitar riff builds. his limbs move on auto-pilot — rehearsed, relaxed, loose, & powerful movements being displayed to the watchful eyes before him. he’s swift, fluid, & careful, & so far, he feels as though he, as well as his teammates, are well in-sync with one another. there’s an ease that swathes him, & when it comes time for him to sing his first lines, robby takes his mark smack-dab in the middle of the formation, but what happens next disturbs him slightly. a whopping majority of his focus is on perfecting the choreography & adding his own flare to it, so the instant he opens his mouth, his vocals are overly light ;; breathy to a fault. singing in falsetto to start the first two phrases is difficult while in motion, & it throws him off. this went better in practice, so he becomes momentarily frustrated ;; knowing then & there that his dancing needs to be perfect to make up for what he’s lacked so far.

using his determination & annoyance as fuel to push himself further, robby doesn’t hold back. he powers through the first half of the chorus, & when it’s his turn to sing again, he goes at it with confidence — even if his vocals are still flawed. he’s on-key, but the strength isn’t there. it’s an area he knows he needs to focus more on in order to succeed, & while it’s a good reminder for him to direct his priorities, it’s unfortunate that he had to learn this lesson during this eval. luckily for him though, the lower register he can use during his lines at the start of the second verse makes it easier for him to sing. his voice is inconsistent, but he’d rather that than have it be completely terrible throughout the whole song. being that he has so many parts, he does his best to keep up with them as he pours his heart into the dance ;; making great use of his center time with striking facial expressions, the unveiling of his trademark dimples at just the right moments, & natural magnetism.

through the first dance break — the one where he’s the center focus throughout it — he shows his best work as this is the section he honed in on for hours upon hours upon hours. he knew it would be his time to stun people, & he does exactly that. in his opinion anyway. slowly, he’s starting to feel better about himself. maybe he had a rocky start, but he’s bringing it home now. above all, he really likes the song, & he feels like he suits the concept well. that matters, too, right ? he can only hope that’s true because his slip-up in the beginning, he’s having a lot of fun. as the piece wraps up, it feels like it zoomed by with the velocity of a stroke of lightning. all of those painstaking days leading up to this all came down to a three-&-a-half minute set, & as he stands in final pose ;; he breathes heavy & feels exhausted, but proud at the same time — the sweat that’s on his brow a testament to how hard he worked.

now, all he has to do is wait for the results. it’s anxiety-inducing, but he’s convinced he’ll get mostly positive remarks. hell, robby’ll be happy even if only his dancing is highly praised. that in mind, he turns to bow towards his audience, thanking them for their time, & excuses himself from the dance-floor ;; his heart pounding fiercely.

[hdrobby]

𝖆𝖈𝖙 𝖎, 𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖊 𝖎.

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒,  robby chooses his position for the eval. 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒,  his temporary group-mates, unnamed. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓,  written in roughly 𝟒𝟑𝟓 words.

he’s only been training for roughly seven months now, but despite that, & the fact that he’s the youngest male trainee participating in the evaluation, robby plans on asserting himself & unveiling the confidence he usually keeps quiet. whether the others think it’s true or not, he personally believes that he’s one of the best dancers out of the male presenting trainees, & as such, he should be recognized ( & rewarded ) for it by being given the title he so desperately seeks. with enthusiasm, he pipes up ;; ready to plead his case to the others if his choice is questioned. ❝ i want to be the main dancer, ❞ he states, matter-of-fact. ❝ that, & if it matters, the visual, too, because, let’s face it... i’m the most striking one out of all of us. ❞ a cheeky grin tugs at the corners of his lips, his words spoken in half-jest ;; cocky on purpose all for dramatic flair. in all seriousness, he feels as though he can execute the choreography they’ve been given effortlessly, & the vocal parts associated with the role all fit nicely into his range. it’s a long shot to assume so, but he somehow feels as though this part was tailor made for him. that hunch, though, could just be an immense magnitude of passion zooming through his veins ;; coloring his thoughts & actions.

❝ so, if it’s alright with everyone else, i’ll be the main dancer & visual. i promise to do a good job at it, too. the evaluation’s really important, & i think we all need to stick to what we do best, but that’s just my opinion. ❞ the others may be shocked that he seems to be talking so much & taking initiative, but when it comes to following his dreams, he takes everything very seriously. in his point of view, he can’t afford to fuck anything up. not only would that embarrass him, but it would stunt his success massively. he promised his mom & dad that he’d make all this work, & if not, he’d face repercussions from them since he’s choosing to skip going to college while he trains.

feeling good about himself, he begins to get in the zone for rehearsals. the excitement that races through his being is palpable, & difficult for him to contain. he wants to start learning everything right now, & all he can hope is that the rest of his teammates are on the same page. if not, his temper might get in their way, much to his ( & likely his group-mates’ ) chagrin. hopefully all goes well & no fights occur !

[hdrobby]

𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖘, 𝖈𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖆— 𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 ! 📸 💥 ✨

𝐕𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐒, celebrity status, strained vision, love. 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒, involves members of 𝖛𝖆𝖗𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖞. 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐒, solo, début prep, 615 wc.

up until now, robby hasn't had any reason to believe that his life has changed in any dramatic way, even though a lot of huge things have happened over the last few months. he's now a member of a k-pop group, and there's a lot of buzz surrounding their name. not only that, but he's been given the lofty position of center. it's a coveted role that many vie for, and he's one of the lucky idols that gets to wear it as a badge of honor. robby's grateful for that, but at the same time, it also means that many people are highly anticipating him, and what's more is that, they're all expecting him to be flawless. there's a lot riding on him, but he's been too stupefied by his lover that, in all honestly, he hasn't even had a chance to properly digest any of that information yet. he's been that love-struck.

while he's worked hard during varsity's début prep, this particular era of his life has been the best one he's ever had, and it's all because he's spent every second of every hour with bae sungho. robby's been finding it so hard to care about anything or anyone else because, in all reality, the only thing he wants to do is orbit around his boyfriend. maybe it's unhealthy of him, but robby's so fucking obsessed with sungho that he has no idea what to else do with himself. everything else fades into the background when they're in the same space.

even now as they prepare for their first public airport appearance, what keeps robby from being nervous is the fact that his beloved is right there with him. maybe it's "unprofessional" or "problematic" to be romantically involved with a group-mate—especially the leader, of all members—but he doesn't care. he'll always and forever raise his middle fingers up in the face of the rules; a trait he's possessed since birth. maybe it makes him reckless, but he doesn't think that's a bad thing. if anything, he wears that as a badge of honor, as well.

dressed in an all-black ensemble—one that shows off the impressive breadth of his shoulders, as well as the slim quality of his waist—robby takes his rightful place in the middle of the formation, and as the cameras flash and the crowds become rowdy, he braces himself. being in front of so many blinding flickers is a lot, but even though it's daunting, he plants his feet and remains strong; his striking triple scorpio gaze captured in every single frame. it's a quality of his that he'll never escape, and all he can hope is that onlookers can handle his intensity. his stare is something he uses to intimidate, so he's curious about what type of reaction it'll garner now.

throughout the rest of their journey through the terminals, robby remains poised; offering occasional impish grins, nods of the head, and flashes of his signature dimples to appease the masses. however, all the while, he keeps sungho on his radar—absolutely ready to pounce on anyone that tries to put their hands on him. the security guards are doing their jobs, but when it comes to his man, he wants to be the one to take care of any problems that may occur. luckily though, there's nothing extreme to report, and as this experience draws to a close, robby breaths a heavy sigh; slowly relaxing back into a languid posture.

there'll be a lot more of this come, he's trying to mentally prepare himself for that since now, and whenever they're in more private quarters, he returns back to his favorite place—hanging off of sungho; hopelessy in love.

[hdrobby]

𝖆𝖈𝖙 𝖎𝖛, 𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖊 𝖎.

𝖘𝖞𝖓𝖔𝖕𝖘𝖎𝖘,  robby performs ❝ 𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚. ❞ 𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘,  possible mention of various people. 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙,  written in roughly 𝟗𝟏𝟓 words.

it’s hard to reset after the events that just occurred, but robby tries his damnedest to get his head back in the game; taking a few steady deep breaths to slow his pounding heart. he can’t help but feel worried about his brother; slightly sick to his stomach about what this means for him. he’s crushed that jamie’s injury likely means that he’ll no longer be a candidate for début, at least in this group. this fucks up their whole plan, & as he’s prone to flare ups of anger as opposed to sadness, he feels heat rise to his face — silently scoffing at how jamie couldn’t just go through with the performance like everyone else. he just had to trip, & fall, & break a bone like the putz he is. breathing heavy, he remembers to focus on the air in his lungs & its patterns. robby tries not to be upset at his sibling. this wasn’t his fault, accidents happen, & he’s probably equally as heartbroken at the destruction of his chances. knowing that, robby’s livid that he can’t go & be by jamie’s side right now; that he can’t be there to offer his support while he’s getting patched up because he needs to stay & film. he still has himself to think about in terms of the competition, & as everyone gathers in their starting positions, he infuses the red-hot energy he feels into his limbs; knowing that he could use the adrenaline to pump up his dancing even more than usual.

as he sets the tone for the song, he waits at his mark, & when the first beat booms through the speakers, he leaps into action — his coveted footwork solo one that he practiced day-in-&-day-out to perfection. being trusted with that section of the song elated him so much, & the last thing he wants is to screw it up now that it really matters, because not only is this coming down to the wire for him personally, but now he feels like he has to kick even more ass for his brother — to make him proud.

keeping jamie in his mind as fuel, he adds seamless bounciness & groove to his small solo; ensuring that the camera is picking up each & every detailed motion of his feet. then, as the first formations are building, muscle memory kicks in & takes some of the edge off of his mind; his movements forcing him to break free from the worries spiraling about in his head so he can pay close attention to the task at hand. physical activity — dancing especially — continues to be a lifesaver for him, & there’s a sense of ease he feels as the stage progresses onward. certain moments feel awkward since they’re pushing forward with one less person, but overall, it seems like things are going as smoothly as they can. though, as his first vocal part approaches, he realizes that his cue lines were sung by jamie, & without him there, robby needs to pay extra close attention to the music; listening intently until he can hear when it’s time to start. as usual, singing is what he’s minimally nervous about, now more than ever since the lyrics are fully in japanese; a language he’s studying, but doesn’t feel comfortable with yet. thankfully though, he remembers all of the words he learned.

his voice works for this section as it’s rather high, & due to that, his intonation is great — improvements being made on other skills over the time he’s lived in south korea. it pleases him to know that working hard has taken him quite far in such a small period of time, & as he makes his way through the first chorus & the second verse, he finds himself smack-dab in the center of the formation for chorus number two; taking the stance seriously as he puts his own spin on the part that was first performed by jaeyoung. this time, he unveils his ( underdeveloped ) low range; adding his own speak-singing style to it so it’s easier for him to support the notes, the delicate rasp in his voice adding color — flavor. maybe it wasn’t as perfect as his first set of lines, but he isn’t too hard on himself. not all idols in the biz are impressive singers, after all.

robby’s self-aware enough to know that he’ll never be celebrated for anything other than dance, visuals, & showmanship, & he’s totally fine with that. there are other trainees in the lot that can cover the vocal work, the rapping, & even the composition of the songs. all he’s focused on is showing up & dancing — it’s as simple as that.

in what seems like the bat of an eyelash, he’s in his final pose; his chest rises & falls heavily due to his exerted efforts, the expression on his face is fierce & magnet, & the beads of sweat that have collected on his brow-line threaten to fall down the length of his cheeks, but he keeps poised so that they remain in place — hoping that what he did was more than enough to please those in control of the final lineup. for a brief second, he thinks about jamie, & hopes that he can rush to him after filming has commenced. robby cares about his success, but above all, he cares about his brother, & his health, more. despite everything else, jamie will always be paramount to him.