#╰ ゜study. * old iron bearing down like wind ; it's built by ruin.

[redemn]

very very funny ,   the people who insist arthur is coldhearted and would be racist or homophobic or sexist back in the time period of the game .   very very funny how they are basically just outing themselves as the same type ,   who also didn't really play the game at all ,   did not play through the side quests and did not pause to really contemplate his character .   how are they going to infer these things about him when there are so many moments that arthur exhibits how angry he is at slavery ,   throwing jeremiah compton's ledger full of slaves right into the fire and pissing on jeremiah's so-called   "legacy ,"   running into the triple k and mowing them all down and expressing his distaste verbally the multiple times he runs into them ;   how he literally hops up on the wagon full of women and rides through rhodes in a   ( albeit unplanned and a bit taken off guard )   show of support for women's suffrage and rights as a whole .   how are they going to insist that he was nothing short of progressive for the time .   man has   "all white it's on sight"   tattooed across his forehead .   man has booty shorts with   "women's rights"   across his ass .   man walks around draped in the rainbow flag .   get away from me with that nonsense .

[redemn]

Do you miss Eliza?

oh  .      that's  a  loaded  question  .      it's  also  one  that  stops  arthur  in  his  tracks  the  moment  he  actually  registers  what  it  means  .      eliza    …    sweet  girl  with  the  striking  eyes  that  had  captured  him  way  back  when  and  the  smooth  temperament  that  had  drawn  him  to  her  right  after  .      it's  strange  ,      the  way  he  still  remembers  her  voice  while  the  memories  of  her  face  have  decayed  ,      fragmented  ,      faded  until  he  can  remember  nothing  more  than  the  way  her  warm  brown  hair  framed  her  face  and  kissed  her  jawline  .      a  wonderful  girl  .      the  prettiest  girl  that  foolish  ,      young  arthur  had  ever  met  .

gaze  drops  to  curled  digits  ,      nails  picking  at  the  dirt  lined  beneath  them  .        ❝        i  wasn't  the  right  man  for  her  ,        ❞      he  says  ,      first  and  foremost  ,      the  guilt  biting  like  stomach  acid  against  the  sides  of  his  throat  .        ❝        'n  she  knew  .      she  knew  what  i  was  .      i  tried  real  hard  not  to  bring  no  danger  to  her  ,      kept  away  when  i  had  to  and  visited  her  when  i  could  .      just    …    kept  away  a  little  too  long  .      i  should've    …        ❞        a  pause  .      a  sharp  intake  of  air  through  partially  parted  teeth  .        ❝        but  i  do  think  about  her  sometimes  .        ❞        not  nearly  as  often  as  he  used  to  .      not  nearly  as  often  as  those  every  waking  moments  of  his  day  back  when  he  had  first  lost  them  .      or  maybe  he's  selfish  ,      and  he  should  be  calling  it  their  losses  .      their  lives  ,      snuffed  out  for  a  little  bit  of  money  .

he  opens  his  mouth  .      shuts  it  again  .        ❝        sure  .      i  miss  her  .        ❞        there  is  no  room  for  him  to  miss  her  every  day  ,      the  way  a  good  man  would  .      but  there  is  room  for  mourning  ,      even  after  all  these  years  ,      and  there  is  room  for  a  young  waitress  and  a  giggling  son  somewhere  in  his  heart  ,      somewhere  he's  packed  away  for  so  long  .        ❝        i  miss  her  and  i  miss  isaac  .      sweetest  kid  i  ever  met  .      not  a  thing  like  me  , hah .      he  had  a  lotta  his  momma's  heart  in  him  . yeah . i miss 'em . i'll always miss her .        ❞

[redemn]

it's the way arthur genuinely looks down on himself for me . the way he talks down to himself in the mirror , the way he calls himself a sour-faced idiot , an old , sad , ugly bastard . it's the way , when lenny asks him why he's never been married , he says "no one would have me" because mary turned him out since he wouldn't change his ways . the way he refuses to get too close to anyone outside the gang because he genuinely believes he wouldn't be worth the effort anyway , and knows it's true what he is is dangerous and would be no benefit to anyone who was looking for an actual , good partner to settle down with . the way he thinks he is neither good nor good enough through-and-through .

[redemn]

where  should  you  be  kissed  ?          palm  .      you  give  and  give  .      you  are  a  gentle  heart  ,      broken  but  still  standing    …    always  lending  a  hand  for  those  who  need  it  ,      expecting  nothing  in  return  .      you  deserve  someone  taking  your  hand  and  kissing  your  open  palm  ,      the  hands  which  have  selflessly  helped  so  many  others  .

tagged by . saw it on the dash ! tagging . @ofsoul . @misroberts . @colecassiidy . @coyotlindo . @wildlcck .

[redemn]

what  kind  of  tragedy  are  you  ?      self-inflicted  .      you  were  given  the  choice  to  live  ,      a  thousand  times  over  ,      and  yet  you  never  choose  it  .      not  intentionally  ,      oh  no  ,      you  didn’t  know  it  was  a  grave  you  were  digging  .      but  with  every  turn  ,      you  were  twisting  the  knife  deeper  .      every  decision  doomed  you  more  .      had  it  been  anyone  else  ,      they  would  have  made  it  .      but  you  ?      you  are  so  perfectly  you  ,      there  was  no  escaping  it  .      the  true  tragedy  of  it  all  ,      is  how  preventable  it  was  .

tagged  by  .      i  stole  this  because  it  looks  tragic . and it was . tagging  .    @ofsoul  .    @wcrstarter  .    @coyotlindo  .  @erebius  .

[redemn]

to  whom  does  your  heart  belong  ?      your  heart  belongs  to  the  sun  . you  are  a  wildfire  waiting  to  happen  ,      one  lit  cigarette  away  from  catastrophe  .      you  are  passion  itself  ,      full  of  rage  and  joy  and  love  and  pain  .      you  are  the  driving  force  behind  change  ,      so  why  are  you  afraid  of  it ?  not  all  that  is  new  will  hurt  you  .      let  others  into  your  life  .      you  will  not  burn  them  .      you  do  not  cause  harm  inherently  ,      you  are  wounded  .      you  will  heal  .      i  promise  you  will  heal  .

tagged by . i took from @wildlcck ! tagging . @ofsoul the soul expert for helping me with the soul question . x

[redemn]

you've heard of people drawing parallels of their muses to 'too sweet' - now get ready for its sibling : me drawing parallels of arthur   ( primarily in regards to his relationship with john )   to 'empire now'  …  this song is so fantastic but overlooked .

see ,   because arthur tends to express his views in a generally pessimistic light ,   while remaining much more of a realist about the world and society as a whole .   he's effectively grounded into the culture of his surroundings while remaining highly critical of civilisation as a whole ,   re : his unwillingness to be anywhere around big towns ,   and rapidly growing technology and cities like st denis .   [ … ]   but   "the way that things are turning / if it falls / i would hold on for all it's worth / the future's so bright it's burning"   fits him so well because ,   despite being relatively negative out of natural melancholia ,   there's a part of him even he's not aware of that hopes there's a sliver of the world that is as good as the pragmatists think .

and i really think that plays out once sister calderón gives him the talk and tells him that he should "take a gamble that love exists and do a loving act" … in the end ,   he does take that chance ,   when he tells john to run ,   and not look back .   the future's so bright ,   it's burning .   not for himself ,   sure ,   as his future won't be much longer .   but he insists it will be for his loved ones ,   the few people he has left by the end .

don't even get me started on the two possible endings ,   like  …   "darling ,   i wouldn't sell the world / for all the gold or sterling"   like in terms of arthur going back for the money ??? when he chooses not to .   when he chooses to run and fight with john not out of cowardice ,   but out of determination that someone ,   at least ,   will make it out of this alive .   a family who deserves it more than any other person in their entire goddamn gang .   money is nothing to him now if it means the people he loves suffers for that .

fuck the old empire that the old guard had been building for the past twenty years .   their rome has fallen ,   and long live this new empire .   arthur will craft its foundations out of his own lifeblood just to make sure it will be steady for the marstons .   and i just think that's really neat .

[redemn]

super obvious arthur morgan vocabulary which may never pertain .

" sweet on [ you ] " = has a crush on [ you ] .

" goin' steady " = dating .

" a tomcat's kitten " = a flirt who won't change his ways . arthur usually uses this to describe someone he can't stand .

[redemn]

i'll  tell  you  when  you  get  your  soft  ,      italicized  ,      "oh  ."

the  late-night  talk  .      oh  .      you  figure  it  out  when  you  realize  just  how  vulnerable  they  are  willing  to  be  with  you  .      it  isn't  everybody  who  could  or  would  stay  up  talking  into  the  night  with  you  ,      not  with  such  affection  or  easy  familiarity  .      it  isn't  everybody  who  is  so  understanding  of  you  .      it  isn't  everybody  who  could  bare  their  soul  to  you  in  return  .      that  kind  of  intimacy      …        it  means  deep  foundations  .      it  means  comfort  .      it  means  trust  .      maybe  it's  a  secret  ,      maybe  it's  a  story  ,      maybe  it's  something  you  just  never  thought  of  before    but  they  say  something  ,      late  at  night  ,      and  you  realize  all  at  once  how  remarkable  they  are  ,      and  how  special  it  is  to  exist  in  the  same  time  and  space  as  them  .      "oh"      indeed  .

tagged by . @colecassiidy . ty this hurt my heart . x tagging . @ofsoul . @shinemade . @untodeath ( john ) .

[redemn]

what if i told you all that even in spite of people calling arthur a good man , over and over and over again , he was still so used to seeing himself as a bad man through and through , ugly on the inside and out , that he carried his doubts to the very end .

[redemn]

which  of  my  favourite  specific  character  archetypes  are  you  ?

the  lionheart  .      the  loyal  one  ,      the  stubborn  one  ,      the  one  who  fights  for  others  .      the  guarder  ,      the  watcher  ,      the  brave  ,      foolish  ,      valiant  person  who  is  not  the  same  person  by  the  end  of  the  story  .

tagged by . @bllakcat ! ty this quiz ruined my life a second time ! tagging . @shinemade . @ofsoul . @crzrl . @draconisa . @blcsscdson .

[redemn]

hey i'm thinking about brokeback mountain today .   nothing about the movie ,   just the line   " you're sleeping on your feet like a horse . "   and how arthur ,   too ,   would fall asleep standing up if he was tired enough .   there are times when he is just that tired ,   usually after he's overworked himself ,   and which happens more often the worse condition he's in .   how that line in particular would hit him harder than   " you're falling asleep on your feet "   because he has an affinity for horses and understands that it is a defense mechanism for them .   of course ,   he doesn't sleep like that to defend from predators since he's human ,   but  …  well ,   with the law on their tails ,   there's more of a sentiment in that particular expression for him .

[redemn]

what  chess  piece  represents  you  ?      you  are  the  black  rook  .      as  a  piece  that  can  move  inwards  and  outwards  ,      you're  a  master  of  self-reflection  .      being  the  black  piece  ,      you  hide  an  inner  beast  within  you  .      perhaps  you're  one  to  rush  headfirst  into  trouble  ,      was  it  for  a  friend's  sake  ?      or  your  own  ?      are  you  the  overprotective  type  ?      did  you  know  your  grip  was  that  tight  around  someone's  neck  ?      for  all  your  protectiveness  and  deliberate  planning  ,      you  can't  wash  the  blood  off  your  hands  that  easily  .

tagged  by  .      @dispatched  . tagging . i do not know .... pls do this and snitch to me . x

[redemn]

i  disabled  the  snipers  again  in  new  austin  and  went  ahead  and  found  all  the  rest  of  the  dinosaur  bones  for  this  lady  .      the  fact  that  this  scene  isn't  technically  supposed  to  be  accessible  as  arthur  ,      but  they  still  have  a  scene  fully  acted  out  for  him  ,      makes  me  yearn  for  all  the  rest  of  the  cut  content  .

this  scene  also  makes  me  think  about  just  what  a  curious  man  arthur  is  .      how  he  harbours  no  judgement  toward  people  who  ask  favours  of  him  ,      no  matter  whether  or  not  he  believes  them  .      he  doesn't  know  if  dinosaurs  were  real  or  not  ,      but  he  seeks  out  the  bones  for  her  anyways  with  a  little  bit  of  hope  in  his  chest  .      and  when  he  finally  gets  to  see  the  model  ,      he's  very  full  of  awe  and  wonder  about  it  all  .      his  heart  is  full  of  childlike  admiration  for  all  those  things  he  never  studied  because  he  never  went  to  school  ,      all  those  things  he  doesn't  really  care  about  but  to  which  other  people  dedicate  their  lives  .      all  humans  live  such  distinct  lives  ,      and  a  great  majority  live  with  such  different  means  and  motivations  than  he  does  .      it  is  fascinating  to  him  ,      when  he  gets  small  moments  like  these  to  exist  here  ,      in  someone  else's  life  ,      even  if  for  a  brief  moment  .

[redemn]

tags. finally. pt 1.

╰ ゜out of character.  *  kat's blabbering about cowboys again. ╰ ゜save.  *  this is mine now ! get your own ! ╰ ゜out of character.  *  starter call. ╰ ゜in character.  *  starter. ╰ ゜in character.  *  thread. ╰ ゜out of character.  *  answered. ╰ ゜in character.  *  answered. ╰ ゜out of character.  *  dash commentary.

╰ ゜study.  *  old iron bearing down like wind ; it's built by ruin. ╰ ゜musing.  *  they say i do it wrong runnin from the law. ╰ ゜mannerism.  *  ain't gonna be no jury ; no self-defense. ╰ ゜headcanon.  *  i'll fight forgiveness ; so suffer for my shame. ╰ ゜skills.  *  but where the fire died ; it burnt a hole in me. ╰ ゜aesthetic.  *  i can't quite remember just what guided me. ╰ ゜art.  *  my nights go on and on ; my days are dark and tarred. ╰ ゜music.  *  under the blazin sun ; my heart's forever charred. ╰ ゜self promo.  *  this train keeps rollin ; filled with sinners. ╰ ゜promo.  *  i've still my cross to bear ; will i be saved ? ╰ ゜meme.  *  tell me once again that old story ; cure the pride. ╰ ゜wishlist.  *  too tired to feel this old ; too late to start again. ╰ ゜edits.  *  no one to blame this time ; i'm forsaken in this land. ╰ ゜crack.  *  the pines often whisper what no tongue can tell. ╰ ゜queue.�� *  i leave my life behind ; ruined by my hand.