#♡ binchu

[w3bgrl]

truth woven within the venom

synopsis: even when she reached out he was pushing her away; after months of festering angst and a growing list of instances where they butt-heads, changbin and juyeon’s pent up feelings finally boil over in their first ever fight.

date: late september 2019

era: pre-double knot

word count: 1.5k

featuring: kang juyeon, seo changbin, bang chan mentioned, ot10 referenced

warnings: swearing, arguing, hurt/comfort?

a/n: eeek soooo happy to be posting again! i hope you like sweet & sour as much as i do (*^▽^*)

"but you don't listen! that's the problem! it goes in one ear and right out the other. why don’t you listen to me?"

in hindsight, it was really quite a minuscule issue that started this screaming match — but hindsight was always 20/20.

after dinner on this particularly cold september night, changbin and juyeon had been the poor souls to lose rock-paper-scissors against the rest, leaving the grumbling pair to wash dishes and throw away any trash left behind by the 8 full-bellied boys. and though the other members' eyes would all wearily shift to chan for guidance on the volatile pair now dragging their feet to the kitchen, he'd simply round them up before making up an excuse for them to be out of the house, hollering something about the studio before the door closing behind them echoed throughout the starkly silent walls.

"i'll dry, it's your turn to wash." juyeon would say shortly as she gathered the plates. she honestly half-expected the response from changbin.

"but — i washed them last week."

"right," she placed them in the sink with an already clenched jaw "but i washed dishes yesterday, so it's your turn."

the mahogany-haired boy then shook his head dissmisively. "i think you're remembering wrong."

and that's where it started; over who was going to wash the dishes and who was going to put them away. again, a minuscule issue that wouldn't have been a problem if not for the thinned patience this duo had with one another over the past few months. they'd been butting heads quite frequently, not big enough to actually create an issue but often enough for the other boys to notice, which is why the leader hurried the boys out to hopefully allow them to work it out on their own. however, not one of the members could have expected it to pan out the way it did.

"oh —" changbin nearly scoffed, arms folded over his chest as the dishes had now been long forgotten in favor of their argument "sorry i don't heed your every word, your majesty. i didn't know whatever you say was of the utmost importance."

juyeon huffed and rolled her eyes "you are such a baby sometimes. you know that's not what i said."

"it's what you want to say! so just say it! 'i'm juyeon and i'm just so fucking important that what i say goes.'"

"don't be a dick."

he nearly laughed now, the blissful victory on the horizon curling his lips into a condescending smile "see! 'don't be a dick, changbin. watch your tone, changbin — bend over backwards on my command, changbin.' you're so full of yourself that you can't see how fucking demanding you are."

this jab at the older girl quickly became apparent as a step in the opposite direction, as now she was the one smiling deviously, a dry chuckle escaping her bitten lips. "at least i'm not a whiny little bitch all the time! honestly," she laughed again "it's like you're always on your period or something. even my emotions are on thicker ice than yours."

"it's not me on thin ice, juyeon, it's you. you are just so —”

changbin’s face tomatoed as he searched for the words before ultimately giving up on accurately pinpointing what it was about her that drove him mad, instead deciding to return the putrid way she made him feel, throwing the oozing pus infecting his heart back in her face.

“you drive me insane! you drive me up the fucking wall every day, juyeon! i can’t stand you! i can’t stand living and working with a bitch like you! you are the worst thing to happen to me — truly. i would be relieved if you just fell off the face of the earth."

there was a brief beat before her response, and from his place across the livingroom changbin could see her demeanor shift; her furrowed brows softening along with the sharp gaze pointing daggers his way, replaced by the discernable crease of a frown in the corner of her lips, folded arms falling with the weight of sheer disappointment. “is that true?”

his own intensity reeled back at her reaction and changbin found himself grasping at the truth woven within the venom — the well-meaning feelings masked by the disease of lovesickness. and while the memories felt so distant by this point, that feeling juyeon afflicted him with still lingered, nurturing his yearning until it grew teeth and learned to bite.

“is it?” juyeon prodded “that i’m the worst thing to happen to you?”

it wasn’t — of course it wasn’t. “you…” he’d start, starkly gentler than before “you live in every corner of my mind, ju. i can't think without thinking about you. i just — i miss you."

now, from her place by the door where she'd threatened to walk out before turning around to bark back once again, juyeon watched as his eyes grew glossy while he fought to keep his composure. his previously broad stance had dissolved into that of a teenage boy caving into himself, and as his hands found the back of the couch to brace the weight pressing him into the mantle, changbin lowered his head to hide the humiliation boiling his cheeks. this image in itself had her own vision going blurry with the tears forming.

"you think i don't?"

changbin would only sniffle. juyeon took a step closer.

"changbin." she'd say almost sternly, his wet eyes peering up to look upon her call "you think i feel any differently?"

"how should i know? you've kept me at an arms length for months now."

now juyeon felt the nausea of shame. she gulped before nodding. "you know what? you're right; i have been distant for a while, and i'm sorry. but you are the one that's been pushing me away."

jisung always did boast how well of a communicator juyeon was. hell, changbin knew this himself, but it was still quite overwhelming when knelt before her authenticity. he knew he should mirror her — own up to his shit and apologize — but as the words failed to come out he noted the inability to fully be that vulnerable with her now; even when she reached out he was pushing her away.

changbin looked back down at the couch. the air in the room grew thick with each passing second of silence the older girl refused to fill leaving them both sniffling quietly, parallel with one another in the group's living room, oxygen in their lungs coagulating like soup. finally, after what felt like eternity of changbin's ears growing a deeper shade of red, she spoke again.

"when did we get like this?"

finally something easier to respond to. "like what?" he asked.

"like...guarded. there used to be nothing you couldn't — wouldn't say to me."

changin lifted his head, cheeks wet and eyes red from the tears he'd concealed from her, offering at least a step in the right direction. he found juyeon a step closer with her own tears dripping down her chin. "you know when."

"why?"

he shook his head now, a dry chuckle almost escaping his glossy lips. "because —" changbin cut himself off. juyeon was then suddenly moving to sit on the couch with her attentive eyes peered up at him, waiting earnestly for him to continue. he inhaled sharply at the burn in his chest.

“because i hate how you make me feel. it feels pathetic — i feel pathetic. because you exist and suddenly i can't act right. and i have all this feeling inside and to you it’s only words — and i love you — like a monster like a beast; like something not worth loving back. and all i want is you but i can't have you, and it feels pathetic.”

for a moment just long enough for him to note her concentrated gaze fixated on his, juyeon sat and thoroughly sifted over his words before finally looking away. this, too, was only for a moment, as she soon looked back up to gingerly place her own hand on top of his.

“i told you; the love isn’t going anywhere, bin. it’s always here, even if i see you everyday, even if i never see you again. it’s not going anywhere. are you?”

it was changbin’s turn to marinate in her tender words. “n-no,” he sputtered “no.”

“then stop pushing me away. let me in, and be my friend again while the days pass."

"even after everything i said?"

juyeon would look up expectantly. "well...is there anything else you want to say?" he didn't need to be convinced this time, the older girl's transparency now came as a comfort than a threat. changbin placed his other hand on top of hers.

"i'm sorry. truly. i didn't mean any of it. i just...wanted you to hurt like i hurt."

finally, for the first time in months, juyeon's smile was directed at him; small and weak and honestly barely there, but it most definitely wasn't the frown he'd grown accustomed to. "we'll work on that." she hummed.

chan and the rest of the boys would return home an hour or so later with half-eaten ice creams in hand to find a completely clean kitchen.

[w3bgrl]

how can i say it

synopsis: cantsay is a skz-record track written and produced by juyeon march third, 2021. however, cantsay was actually originally a song she released predebut that had long-lasting effects on a certain somebody.

date: march 4th, 2018

word count: 1.8k

featuring: kang juyeon, seo changbin

warnings: n/a

a/n: listen to cantsay here. keep your eyes peeled for a post with all of juyeon’s songs! also ٩( ᐛ )و this took 4 separate attempts to write so i may come back and fix it at some point sorry <3

changbin took a deep breath as he approached the studio door, palms sweaty in his balled fists. surely, she was here, but that’s exactly what worried him. he hadn’t spoken to her since last night and was pretty sure his judgment was still hazy from her update on soundcloud.

before he could work up an excuse to turn around and chalk this up as a missed opportunity changbin raised his knuckles to the door and knocked lightly. it was silent on the other side - there was honestly no noise at all, not even the familiar buzz of the fluorescent lights. he chewed on his bottom lip.

maybe he was wrong. maybe the dots he had connected weren’t actually there and now he was just knocking on the door of an empty room. the possibility that he had brought himself to a dead end irritated him on top of everything else and he brought his fist to the door again just to be sure. this time he knocked hard, loud enough that if there was someone inside there would be no way they could ignore it.

this time, however, there was a discernible boom! from inside the studio before he could hear the shuffling of footsteps. changbin was utterly unprepared when juyeon cracked open the door to the dark room with her hand on her knee. her curly hair was disheveled and sticking up by her ears as if she had carelessly shoved her headphones off.

“jeez,” she laughed once she recognized him and let him inside “you scared me! what are you doing here?” changbin made note of how she rushed to close her most recent project before he sat down.

“just checking on you. when were you planning on going home?”

“uh,” she sighed "soon…maybe? what time is it?”

changbin smiled warmly. typically, curfew was 10 pm. sometimes it could be flexible due to practices running later than planned, but everyone was supposed to be at least in their dorms by 10 pm. knowing her, her phone must’ve died long before he arrived.

"it's midnight." he said gently.

juyeon's cheeks bloomed a peachy pink and she tucked her hair behind her ears. "oh…good."

"it's okay, you're not in trouble or anything" he reassured her "chan asked if i'd heard from you, so i came to see if you'd be here."

changbin paid attention to how her lips pressed together as she hummed before she turned away from him to shut her laptop down. “what gave me away?” she asked over her shoulder.

“huh?”

she glanced back at him, the majority of her face obscured by her long brown locks. “how’d you know i was here?”

his mouth made an ‘o’ shape once he understood what she was saying. "you always post before leaving the studio. i thought maybe you came back to work on something else."

he was referencing the new song she had posted on soundcloud the night before. she had a habit of finishing up songs in the early hours of the morning and posting it before she went home for the night. so when chan reported her as missing to changbin and jisung half an hour ago, he had a strong sense that she would be back in the studio.

juyeon pushed her laptop into her bag before she turned back to him. her gaze pierced through the darkness like a spotlight when she met his eyes. “so…you saw my new song?” she asked, her cadence strange — as if she was finding the words along the way.

‘saw’ was a gross understatement. changbin had turned her post notifications on a while ago to make sure he could be the first to hear whatever creation she had gifted to the world of soundcloud, so of course he clicked on the notification as he was doom scrolling well into the morning. and of course he listened to it, first admiring the instrumentals paired with her honey-smooth voice. but about halfway into the song he started to actually comprehend what she was saying in the lyrics and something began to ache on the inside.

“tell me first about how you feel about me. i wonder if it’s possible for us, will we be able to love each other someday? i know i'm not your type. i just tend to be delusional, i'm totally fine being your sisi right now. i don't wanna make things awkward with words. i like it just how it is now. how can i say it? let’s pretend we’re just friends.”

as the moon started to fall from his view, changbin sat up in his bed and grabbed his chest as if he was having a heart attack. it felt like his feelings had been hit by a truck. there were a thousand different thoughts in his mind and all of them conflicted with each other; it wasn’t about him, but he felt so connected to it he could have written it himself. but certainly - most definitely - it was not about him. juyeon was not the type to like guys like him, he probably wouldn’t even cross her mind in that aspect. too much of a brother, maybe. or perhaps these were old lyrics about someone else she’d known a long time ago. or maybe it was about someone they were set to debut with soon.

whatever it was, the more he denied the idea that he was the subject of her pining, the more he longed for it. because when he thought about juyeon, those same words came to mind. ‘i know i’m not your type, not tall enough or cool enough. i’m totally fine being your ‘bro’ right now, i don’t want to change things by saying something that doesn’t need to be said. let’s pretend we’re just friends.’

the honest truth was; changbin always liked juyeon. who didn’t? she was thoughtful and warm and talented - not to mention how obviously beautiful she was. and the more he got to know her, the more this magnetism became apparent. so he vowed early on to never look too deep into this feeling - hide it away and leave it be.

— and then he listened to her new song. it re-inflicted that yearning that he honestly hadn't really come to terms with. a yearning that he couldn't even begin to think of describing, not because he didn't know what it was, but because he did.

changbin spent the rest of the night listening to this song while he made lists in his head of all the reasons this was a bad idea; why he was just a friend, or why he maybe could be a little bit more than a friend.

“yeah” he responded simply in the hopes she wouldn’t prod any further. that doesn’t mean he thought she actually would.

juyeon finally put all of her things away and zipped her bag to sling it over her shoulders, fingertips reaching to twist the ends of her hair. “and?” her voice was so soft he almost couldn’t hear her.

‘and; it hits a little too close to home right now, so i’d say it’s great for when you’re hopelessly doomed by the universe. you really got the pathetic pining down to a science’

“it was good.” changbin opened the door for her “you always have such interesting beats.”

she stepped into the hall and waited for him before starting their short walk back home. “thanks. took me a week.” although she didn’t say anything outwardly glum, changbin felt a shift in her demeanor, like she had been let down by his short response. he cleared his throat.

“and um — it really tells a story, i think. it sounds like you wrote it in the moment, you know what i mean? it’s almost like you were telling the other person directly…you know?”

he analyzed her out of the corner of his eye and he swore she was biting the smile from her lips, her hands in her hair again. another habit she probably didn’t know anyone else noticed.

the pair arrived to the elevators where their journey home split in two different directions; the girls’ dorm above the practice rooms while the boys’ was below. usually the boys said their goodbyes to juyeon and took different elevators to hurry back to their beds for the night, but tonight as they stopped in front of the elevators, she turned to changbin with a sparkle in her eyes.

“wanna make sure i get home safe?”

his eyebrows knit together with a confused smile. “what do you mean?”

she shrugged as she pressed the call button. “elevators are super dangerous — i’m sure — you should ride up with me to make sure i survive the trip home.”

the elevator arrived on their floor and the doors opened with a ding! changbin swallowed thick as she held the door open and gestured for him to get in, a mischievous smile on her lips. how could he say no?

changbin made quick strides into the elevator and pressed the button for floor 5 whilst she leaned against the railing inside. once the doors finally closed she nodded at him. “see? super dangerous.”

juyeon’s strange demeanor was scrambling his brain like eggs and he had to shake his head to sift for any conscious thoughts. “what is this?”

she laughed “nothing. i’m just in a good mood.”

“well, this is a weird mood, but i’m glad you’re having a good time.” changbin now noticed her messy hair again, and although he thought it was kinda cute, he knew her well enough to know that he’d be scolded for not at least telling her. “your hair’s all messed up.”

juyeon suddenly frowned and began running her nails through her hair, missing the right spot every time by the grace of god. “why didn’t you say anything before?”

changbin stifled a chuckle but couldn’t hide the smirk that came to his face at her response. “here,” he took a step into her space and ran his fingers through the soft brown hair above her ears to brush any stray hairs back in place. however, he was distracted by her big eyes staring up at him.

“what?”

he watched as the sparkles in her eyes disappeared and became half-crescent moons to compliment the smile on her face. “nothing! i just like to do this thing where i use my eyes to see.”

changbin opened his mouth to say something when the elevator stopped and the doors reopened.

ding!

juyeon laughed again and pretended to wipe sweat from her brow. “whew, we made it!” she fled their proximity into the hallway and turned back to the flabbergasted boy. “thanks for getting me home safe. i’ll see you tomorrow, changbin.”

all he could say was “yeah, goodnight, juyeon.” the elevator doors began to close and he could see her waving until they shut completely, leaving changbin in the sobering, silent elevator ride down to floor 3 like a descent to hell — a hell where he’d lay wide eyed in bed with his headphones entirely too loud for months to come.

[w3bgrl]

metronome

synopsis: even after long days, changbin always wanted to hang out with his members once they finally returned home. and although the other boys usually shot him down in favor of their personal time, juyeon was always there to give him company. that was - until it was bedtime - which she was very stubborn about. but tonight was gonna be different; changbin was determined to make tonight an exception.

date: december 28th, 2018

era: i am you

word count: 2k

featuring: kang juyeon, seo changbin

warnings: n/a! maybe a tiiiny bit suggestive but mostly just fluff here <3

a/n: binchu………… (；ω；)

“anddd…” juyeon smiled and adjusted to lean back on her bed as she took another bite from the popsicle, trying to remember anything else she forgot to mention about changbin’s jyp-family performance today “the fuzzy coat was definitely a choice.”

changbin crunched his last bite loudly with a pout-mixed grimace. “that doesn’t sound like a compliment.”

“well, i wouldn’t have run out of good things to say if you didn’t keep asking for another!”

“you should never run out of good things to say about me!!”

juyeon laughed and stuck her red-stained tongue out at him while tossing their wrappers into the garbage before her phone ding!ed with a text notification. she checked it lazily since she usually didn’t respond at this time unless it was her parents. and it was not, so she quickly disregarded the text and went to resume chatting with changbin when her eyes caught the time.

they had a full day of practices tomorrow for the upcoming gayo daejejeon performance on the 31st and, after noticing particular comments on some recent performances, was determined that enough hard work would change people’s minds. but she needed ample sleep to do that, which meant it was time to break the news to mr. whiny.

“changbin~” she spoke softly. her feathery tone was enough to indicate that it was his least favorite time of the day; bedtime. because while the other members closed their doors early into the night for their much-needed rest, juyeon would always offer her company. that was - until it was actually time to go to bed - in which she always gently broke the news to him so he could bid a dramatic farewell before his long journey down the hall to his snore-filled room.

“no…” he whined and caught her arm while she sat up.

“i know, but if we don’t go to bed now we won’t get 8 hours by the time we need to get up.” juyeon’s voice was warm and motherly to distract from her fingers working to pry his off.

“nooo” changbin whined again, releasing her bicep to instead wrap both arms around her waist “we get 8 hours every night. there should be exceptions sometimes.”

“exceptions?” she chuckled and wiggled her fingers under his palms to loosen the grip around her stomach, attempts futile once he realized she was trying to escape. iron-barring his arms around her, changbin’s hair tickled her sides after his cheek pressed against her ribs during his efforts to stop her leaving. “exceptions for when you’re fine having dark circles the next day?”

“no!” changbin was called whiny for a reason “exceptions for when we should make an exception! and i say that tonight is that night!”

juyeon gave up on fighting this uphill battle and instead twisted to look down at the ‘dark rapper’ who now looked back up at her sweetly, not-so-subtly presenting his aegyo to butter her up.

“aren’t you tired?”

her voice was so tender now; soft and breathy and all resonance in her throat. she was normally soft spoken, but nights similar to this one when they were the only ones awake in the dorms transformed her voice into the sweet birdsong accompanying the morning sun, dripping with honey and comfort.

“are you?”

she nodded solemnly.

changbin now attempted to recreate that gentle way she spoke even though he was far too enthusiastic about persuading her into letting him stay to focus on his volume. “we can lay down!” came out more like a whispered shout and as juyeon’s eyebrows raised with bewilderment he corrected his tone.

“we don’t even have to talk.”

juyeon finally decided she had enough of the grip around her waist and gave a firm tug on his wrist to let him know it was time to actually let go. changbin did so promptly and leaned back, propping himself up on an elbow to keep eye-level with her.

“do you really want my company or are you just enjoying not having to listen to yongbok’s snoring?”

changbin shrugged deviously. from his new spot he could watch her bite her lip in thought and subconsciously mirrored her actions.

“but…you can’t wake up here in the morning…you know?”

he knew this very well, yet, he simply shrugged. “i’ll leave when you fall asleep.”

juyeon’s concentrated stare made changbin a deer in the headlights as she considered it. but even past the blinding gaze he could tell she was actually thinking about it, which is the furthest he’d ever gotten down this road.

finally, suddenly, juyeon stood from the bed and changbin’s hopeful eyes dulled. now out of his reach she’d say ‘maybe next time’ and open the door for him like the gentleman she was. and then he’d have to spend another night preparing to start this process all over again tomorrow.

“fine,” she pulled her socks off to get comfy (cites it as a sensory thing) and pointed at him sternly “but you’re laying down, too.”

within an instant changbin was excited again and rolled beneath the covers to lift them for the older girl who crawled under with a dopey grin. she gathered all her hair in one hand to toss it off her neck before she laid on her side facing changbin, arms tucked in close to her chest. he followed suit quickly and wiggled into a comfortable position as he faced her, the only light in the room being the weak fairy-lights taped to the ceiling, which illuminated their faces just enough to see their features without looking into their pores. changbin thought this was a nice touch considering the pimple that graciously decided to stop by today.

the air in the room became sickly saccharine as they examined one another on the small bed that left only a few inches to spare between them, both too busy admiring to think about how they looked - ogling at one another as if they didn’t know the context. however, every couple of seconds changbin would snap out of his haze to notice her eyes on his lips, which started the whole cycle over again. ‘is she - why - …her eyes are so…’

although, juyeon’s inner monologue wasn’t nearly as peaceful as changbin’s. her mind was in the clouds from the body warmth he emanated and good decision-making had been thrown out the window long before she noticed his tongue dart out to wet his lips. caught in an endless spiral of do i’s and don’t i’s, justifying her ruminating mind before tearing it right back down again, juyeon spun this circle until she arrived to the point where the will to stay rational had been completely forgotten in favor of satisfying the desire to be closer.

without a word juyeon pushed the covers off and scooted toward changbin, taking note of how promptly he moved his arm to open the space against his side for her. she made herself comfortable under his arm and laid her head on his chest, trying painstakingly to ignore the musky savor of the cologne on his skin. ear pressed to his shirt under the collarbone, juyeon giggled at his hammering heart even though she was sure hers was the same.

changbin’s hand came to rest on her shoulder and juyeon soon decided that she simply wasn’t close enough yet. so, drunk with a touch-starved appetite, juyeon shifted her position, settling with her front flush against his left side and her palm on his sternum. this proved to be better for both of them as now his fingers began to comb through her hair, stopping whenever he found a knot to gently work it free.

juyeon was now abundantly certain her heart was pounding because she could feel it. she prayed that it wasn’t just consistently knocking on his ribs to let him know something was going on inside and as his fingers tucked the hair framing her face behind her ear she finally looked up at him again.

he was already watching her with an adoring smile when their eyes met, having been too caught up in her own mind to notice how he’d been examining her features from this new angle. the realization that she’d had his undivided attention this whole time made her face hot with embarrassment and she was compelled to pass it off to him.

“pretty.” she managed to say. her attempt at making him feel shy was an immediate success as evident by his cheeks now burning crimson, shy giggles escaping his glossy lips. juyeon had to bite back the squeal forming in her chest threatening to make her pinch his pink cheeks.

there was a cocky smirk on his face once he regained his composure enough to look at her in the eyes. “not as pretty as juyeonie, though.”

juyeon was back to feeling embarrassed and hid her face in his chest with her eyes squeezed shut, eliciting another laugh from changbin, this time at her expense. the tickle of his fingertips tracing the cartilage of her ear made her look back up just to get further embarrassed.

“even your ears are red~” he beamed

“seo changbiiin.” she was now whining, which meant he was pressing the right buttons. “leave my ears aloone.”

“that’s fine, your cheeks are red too!” he chuckled and caressed the soft skin with his index finger. juyeon was quick to swat his hand away and continued her complaining even after he resumed raking through her long locks.

“i didn’t make an exception for you to make fun of me!”

“well, you didn’t give me enough attention today!” changbin returned her squeaky tone “so i deserve to make fun of you a little bit!”

his belly flipped with pride as she laughed heartily, feeling the vibrations rumbling on his side. she reached for his free hand and pulled it onto his abdomen to rub his knuckles in apology.

“you’re such a baby.”

there was a beat of silence before he answered. “sorry.”

his response was strangely somber, so juyeon looked back up at him with wide eyes only to find that same smile lingering at the corners of his lips. she looked away again.

that bedtime voice he adored returned when she spoke again, gentle and breathy. “don’t be” her fingers wiggled under his hand so she could press their palms together in a definitely-not-subtle attempt to compare them “i like you that way.”

the holy trinity of this interaction - that sweet voice she used, their hands pressed flat to each other, her rare verbal expressions of affection - very nearly made his heart skip multiple beats. he almost had to catch his breath, but then juyeon would know he had to catch his breath, so he suffered through what he thought was oxygen deprivation. (it’s oxytocin)

“don’t worry, nothing will change anytime soon.”

this sentence left a bitter taste in his mouth once he said it, and the way juyeon pulled her hand from his to set it back on his sternum suggested she felt the same way. changbin now took a deep breath to help slow his frantic heart, juyeon copying his actions before making herself at home, tossing a leg over his for a position more comfortable on her hips, now pressed as close into his side as possible.

with their conversation now ended by the sobering remembrance of the reality they would return to the next day, a comfortable silence washed over her tiny room that allowed him to hear her soft breaths begin to slow as she was lulled to sleep by the metronome-like beats of his heart. for the billionth time that night changbin smiled to himself with a swell in his chest and allowed the moment to be enjoyed, leaving the harsh reality for tomorrow.

the blaring alarm going off on her phone shot juyeon out of bed, anxiety from last night still lingering in her system even as she regained consciousness to turn the alarm off. after finally getting enough brain cells working to remember how to make the loud noises stop, juyeon analyzed her surroundings.

the items thrown haphazardly on her nightstand had been organized by her usage, clothes that were originally on the floor now in her hamper, even the stuffed animals on her bed were set up the way she always did before going to sleep. she would have convinced herself she’d imagined it all if not for the pink sticky note on her door.

‘how does it feel being a pretty sleeper? thanks for the dark circles today ( ◠‿◠ )’

[w3bgrl]

the art of shameless adoration

synopsis: changbin visits the eldest dancers in the practice room and once left alone binchu react totally reasonably when things get hot and sweaty

date: march 2nd, 2019

era: pre-miroh

word count: 1.8k

featuring: kang juyeon, seo changbin, lee minho

warnings: n/a!

a/n: i swear something other than binchu will be coming soon <3

unintelligible gibberish of counts from the experienced dancers echoed into the quiet halls of the jyp building as changbin opened the practice room door just enough to peek inside. minho and juyeon were in the center, watching themselves closely in the mirror as they polished up the details of their most recent choreography, cheeks red and hot to show how long they’d been doing this.

“hello my friends whom i love,” changbin stepped into the room with a beaming grin “looking good! how long have you been here?”

the eldest wiped the sweat from his brow as he checked his watch, eyebrows jumping in shock. “since 5…”

“what time is it?” juyeon panted

“bed time” “ten”

the boys answered simultaneously, though changbin was the one to actually answer her question. minho looked at him wildly, seemingly perplexed at their synchronicity, and turned back to juyeon.

“i think that’s enough for tonight?” his pitch raised at the end, making this statement sound more like a suggestion. what he meant was he was done for the day, but he already knew she’d either agree to go home without a fight or be here for another hour and a half. so when she looked back at herself in the mirror as if to size herself up, he could guess what she was gonna say.

“one more time.” she giggled with an awareness of her own ridiculousness. “just one more time and i’ll be good.”

“i think i was okay one more ago, actually” minho chuckled through heavy breaths and slapped a hand on changbin’s shoulder “you make sure she gets home soon, kay? we don’t need another pockey-stick-incident this comeback. i need to go lay down now.”

changbin flashed a thumbs up at minho’s request amidst juyeon’s whines that ‘it was one time forever ago, you don’t always have to bring it up!’ minho mimicked a teasing smooch on his way to snatch his things from the couch and quickly hurried out the door before she could wrangle him into boiling some water for her nightly ramen. once the door closed behind him the two in the room met eyes in the mirror, a mischievous smile on juyeon’s lips.

“okay, ready?”

“i’m doing it with you?”

she laughed “yeah! minho clocked out, it’s time for you to appease me.”

changbin found a smirk on his face at her words and feigned an exasperated sigh as he unzipped his hoodie. “fiiine, but just once!”

“yes!” juyeon bounced giddily to her phone beside the speaker “just once, and then we���ll go home.”

changbin tossed his things aside carelessly as he waited for her to queue the music. he’d just showered before coming to see what they were up to and honestly really didn’t want to practice on top of working out today, but then again, she was right. it was his turn to appease her, and he would do so happily. plus, the mirror made it easier to shamelessly admire her without being told he had a staring problem (lovingly.)

changbin continued to indirectly adore juyeon through the mirror even when she finally started the music and they began to go over the miroh choreography ‘just once.’ and even after something he did reminded her of another choreo which lead her down a different tangent. even when she said ‘really, just one more. boxer is almost right!’ changbin only stopped re-committing her features to memory when he could barely stand anymore, the music fading out as he put his hands on his knees with panting breaths.

“up.” juyeon wheezed, her fingers interlocked behind her head. she’d learned a long time ago that bending over compressed the diaphragm when you were trying to catch your breath and strictly enforced the correct way to do it ever since. it hurt like hell, but it was better for your body, so changbin grit his teeth and stood tall on his way to slump into the couch.

juyeon kept her fingers joined on her neck until she sat beside him and picked up the water bottle next to her bag. they were close enough that their shoulders almost touched but far enough that they weren’t actually sweating on each other, which was a nice detail even for the touch-starved physical affectionists.

“one more time” he mocked with a smile, using the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his upper lip “just one more time and then we’ll go home”

the older girl’s eyes took over the role of her smile as she held back laughter while taking a swig from the sticker-covered bottle. then, as a symptom of her unending attention to detail when it came to him, juyeon offered her water to changbin who hadn’t brought one when he came in; probably because he wasn’t planning on getting all hot and sweaty when he came to see the dancers in their natural habitat. his mistake, honestly.

changbin’s hand automatically went to reach for the waterbottle before he stopped to ask, “how much is left?”

“finish it. i’m good until we get home.”

and finish it he did. changbin took big gulps from her water and as juyeon watched his adams apple bob she felt herself start to get distracted - reverted into the cavewoman brain that showed up whenever he was around. distracted by how his chest rose and fell with each breath, skin glossy with sweat, lips and cheeks pink.

she cleared her throat quietly as to not raise any suspicion and forced her eyes away in an effort to re-evolve her brain until her mind wasn’t totally consumed by him anymore, just barely glancing in the mirror to see if he had noticed. and of course, just as always, he was looking at her. she did a double take before furrowing her eyebrows at him, which made him laugh.

“what are you doing?”

“same thing that you were!”

“what was i doing?”

changbin chuckled and nodded toward their reflection. “i saw you looking. you are not slick, kang juyeon.”

she now pushed herself up to look at him face-on again, a playful smile on her lips. “do you think you are? you made miroh look totally different because were too busy looking at me to see yourself! i kept going just to see the -” she wiggled her arms about wildly, an obvious over-exaggeration of his performance but it was enough to have him throwing his head back to rest on the couch with an exasperated sigh.

“you are — !!”

“what?” she nudged him with her shoulder to urge him on “i’m what?”

“…you’re dreamy.” he hummed

juyeon now regretted poking him to say more as her face flushed with embarrassment. she laid her head back, too. “yeah, whatever.”

“don’t ‘yeah whatever’ me. take my compliments! accept my love!” changbin spoke with that grouchy voice that made him stick his lips out to pout “you’re beautiful and charismatic and hardworking and should be acknowledged for your efforts - and your results! because you are incredible.”

there was a beat of silence that left changbin out in the cold until she spoke again. “you think so?”

changbin finally lifted his head to look at her incredulously, like there wasn’t a possibility in the world it was the other way around. but he didn’t question why she didn’t claim her boasting rights, instead he gingerly elbowed her side with a smirk. “of course” he cooed “anyone else would say the same thing.”

her nose crinkled in something similar to a wince, eyes on the ceiling. “but…what do you think of me…”

changbin’s eyebrows knitted together. for a moment he had to stop to think of what to say; there was a lot he thought about her because he thought about her a lot. changbin leaned into her shoulder, nudging her with his weight to regain her attention. she lifted her head now, eyes flicking between his - left to right and right to left again. in the few inches of space between them he spoke artlessly, the fondness and sincerity painfully obvious in his tone.

“i think you’re everything, ju.”

juyeon’s gaze fell to his lips again as she analyzed what he said and the corners of her mouth began to curl upward with the warm hum in her chest. she lingered there with her bottom lip caught between her teeth and, after finally pulling her gaze away, noticed the lag before his eyes met hers again. they were darker all of a sudden - like his pupil had swallowed the iris whole - and his cheeks had ripened from a peachy pink to a deep crimson.

there was a moment of stillness as they stared at one another, silent but comfortable, contemplating the same thing; to take the leap or not. both went through the pros and cons they had meticulously organized in their mind over the years as if there would be a clear answer on the next step, but there wasn’t, and just as changbin came to decide he wouldn’t risk it, juyeon decided she would.

the older girl bridged the gap between them nervous yet eager and, tenderly cupping his cheek in her palm, pressed her bitten lips to his - tentative and salty with sweat. it was soft and familiar, not a drop of haste in her touch. it took him a moment to fully believe the reality he had been gifted on this day but, once he realized her lips were on his after years of pushing those feelings away, changbin’s hands found themselves at her waist as if to hold on so he wouldn’t float away. a fuzzy feeling began to take life in his chest, burning red hot like flames licking at his skin. this overwhelming warmth grew with each passing second spent exactly where he’d always dreamed of until it bubbled scalding magma in his throat and erupted into a grin against her lips, which then made her smile, too.

juyeon sat back and pressed her buzzing lips together, a short laugh slipping past the barricade. “we’re in trouble.” her tone was light in contrast to the serious subject matter.

“not yet,” changbin hummed sweetly “we’re just in the practice room.”

“you know what, i think you’re right.” she concurred with a cunning shrug “maybe tomorrow we could just be in the studio?”

“i can make that happen.” he was quick to blurt out an approving response to this suggestion.

juyeon chuckled softly before her fingers moved automatically to tuck her hair behind her ear, catching her lip in her teeth again but this time for a starkly different reason. “um…we do need to talk, though…”

changbin looked at her now from the darkest depths of yearning, dark eyes now glossy and pleading. “not yet. please. leave it for tomorrow. and tonight can just stay like this.”

she sighed softly almost as if to hide the adoring sparkle in her eyes and brushed away the strands of hair tickling his eyelashes. “okay, binnie.”

“…does that mean we can do that again?”

“you know…i think it does!”

[w3bgrl]

universal deviation

synopsis: changbin and juyeon officially deny their dating rumors; now it’s time to talk about it privately.

date: april 5th 2019

era: miroh

word count: 2.3k

featuring: kang juyeon, seo changbin, jyp, bang chan

warnings: n/a, just angst! maybe hinted misogyny at the end?

a/n: lied in that ask lol merry binchumas to those who celebrate! ps this occurs after their music bank performance! also ummm calling jyp ‘jinyoung’ is so weirddd (°_°)

“so…i’m sure you both know why i called you in today,”

changbin and juyeon sat anxiously before their boss in the jyp entertainment conference room with sweaty palms, tongues nearly bitten in half as he spoke.

“but, i wanted to get on top of this issue before it could get too out of hand. especially since you’re in the same group. firstly, however,”

they swore they could guess what was coming next.

“congratulations on your first win yesterday!”

juyeon and changbin let out a breath they had been holding since the moment they entered the room and smiled with the relief of some weight being lifted from their chests, thanking him humbly in unison.

“i have high hopes for the future of stray kids.” jinyoung eye-smiled in the same kindred way he always did to make others feel more comfortable in his authoritative presence. “i believe your time to really shine will come sooner than later, and i look forward to watching you all grow as artists.”

his smile fell now, replaced with that stone cold expression they had become quite familiar with during their trainee days. “but, all of that starts with maintaining your images for the fans. so, i’d like to get a direct quote that explains the situation and clarifies the status of your relationship with one another.”

“before we begin,” jinyoung slid the notepad beside him closer to where he could write “i’ll remind you that the company dating policy states that romantic relationships are strictly prohibited for the first 3 years after debut. in your case, this will be in 2021. i think as idols, the first three to five years after debut should be focused purely on promoting. so, with that said, is there anything in particular you would like to be cited?”

for the first time since sitting down the accused pair now looked at one another with knowing eyes. it was a good thing they read each other better than jyp because obviously they saw right through the others feigned innocence. juyeon was the first to turn back to their boss, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before she spoke.

“um…i know to be more subtle showing affection to my members for the public eye, so i apologize for acting without thinking. i will be more careful with my actions moving forward.”

the older man nodded approvingly and began to transcribe her account on his notepad. at this same time, changbin nudged her foot with his own under the table, eyes meeting from the corners of their vision. his eyebrows just barely knitted together like he disapproved of what she said, and as jyp looked back up, juyeon shifted to cross her legs.

“so,” he sighed and clicked his pen a few times “i’m just gonna go right ahead and ask; are you two in a relationship?”

changbin was the one to speak this time. “no.” he said stolidly, his tone flat and almost disinterested. “we’re just friends.”

“close friends.” she added

there was a moment of scrutiny from the man across the table who stared at them with narrowed, unmoving eyes. to be completely fair, both of their answers did sound a little uncertain, like they weren’t on the same page about where they stood. yet, jinyoung simply nodded and jotted down their words.

“that is good to hear, teamwork is an important piece of the puzzle. i hope this incident won’t impact your friendship.”

it was a blessing their boss wasn’t paying them any mind when he said this. even the most oblivious person in the world could have noticed the thunderstorm that brewed between them, growling and snarling as lightning struck with his words. they shared another knowing glance.

the trip home was quiet.

changbin and juyeon walked side by side with an unfamiliar distance between them, sullen eyes wandering from the cold tile flooring every few seconds to get a glimpse of the other. neither dared to mention the dark clouds that hung over their heads and instead fell head first into the busy swirl of anxieties, only starting to get dizzy once they arrived at their front door. changbin prayed that someone - anyone - would be home to ease the aching tension between them but all hope was lost when he wiggled the handle to find it locked.

the younger boy sighed heavily as he fished in his pocket for the key and hurriedly unlocked the door, obviously frustrated and yet he still held it open for her.

once in the entryway they both turned away from one another to take their shoes off and throw their stuff down haphazardly by the door. from his spot on the ground to unlace his boots changbin could see juyeon face him for only a moment before she left to disappear around the corner of the living room, a heavy thud followed by a grumble echoing off the wooden floors. he finally worked the shoe off his heel and meekly followed after to find her slumped into the couch.

juyeon looked up at him through her dark lashes and, though her features were tainted with woe, she offered him a weak smile. changbin felt a kick to the chest and left a noticeable gap as he sat down beside her, his mannerisms and movements now much softer than just a few moments ago.

there was a good long pause where both of them searched for something to say. anything would have sufficed, honestly, because this melancholic silence was really starting to eat away at their shared sanity. or what little was left of it at this point.

“please say something.”

she’d never heard his voice so frail, so weak. like a child asking for reassurance that things were okay. and unfortunately, the older girl didn’t have anything reassuring to say. she opted for another approach instead.

“sorry for getting you caught up in all this.”

changbin habitually reached out to tuck the stray hairs behind her ear so he could see her face but decided against it halfway. he sat back. “it’s a two-way street, joong. you can’t take all the blame.”

“but i am to blame.” she hummed, her gaze everywhere but him “we wouldn’t be here if i just…didn’t do…what i did...”

“…ju.”

finally she looked back over at the delicate flower beside her who blinked away tears as he shifted in his seat. “i’m glad you did. if not i would’ve spent the rest of my life wondering what it would be like. whatever it—”

he stopped himself. he knew what it was. they both did. and it was a part of the past now, there was no point in weaseling around anymore. still, he couldn’t put the word to it.

“—it was nice. and for what it’s worth, i wouldn’t change anything. if given another chance i’d do it all again. i’d rather die at your hands than never have felt them at all.”

she couldn’t help but smile at his words. he was always so poetic.

“you’re really special, you know that? i don’t know if anyone’s ever told you. i don’t know if i ever told you. but i hope you know. there is no one else in the world that even comes close.”

while the older girl rarely allowed her painful emotions to be shown in front of anyone else, changbin was someone who wore his heart on his sleeve - feelings displayed before him for anyone to bear witness. so when he finally gave up on fighting the tears and let them fall in thick streams down his cheeks that met at the scar on his chin, juyeon had to look away.

“don’t do that.” her voice was shaky as she nudged him with her foot “i’m not going anywhere — neither are you. i’ll be right here for a long time.”

he finally broke his gaze from her figure to wipe his wet face. “i know - i just…i just wish things were different. i don’t want this chapter to be over yet.”

there was a beat before her response.

“i’ll keep the corner folded on your page.”

her words resonated a bittersweet song that played on his heartstrings and when he was finally able to convince himself to look back over at the close friend beside him, there was already that familiar doting smile on her lips. he could feel his eyes getting wet again as she reached out to wipe the overlooked tear on his cheek and, for the first time, her touch left a sting.

“i know your feelings are locked up tight and all but…” he winced “how are you so okay?”

juyeon took a deep breath, subconsciously self-soothing. “i have to be. at least on the outside.”

“you can’t keep that up forever”

“it won’t be forever. just for…” her comforting smile became muddled as the timeline began to unfold before her “…for a while.” she said. her mouth tasted bitter.

he wanted to refute her claims - to tell her that it was okay to show them (him) how she really felt, especially in the privacy of their own dorm. but as he took just a second longer to think about it, he realized she was right. they weren’t just automatically in the clear once the statement came out, and though he’d certainly have to make some adjustments, juyeon especially would be scrutinized far worse than he ever would. or any other member for that matter. it happened before for less. he just couldn’t stop wishing that things were different; the people and the standards and their boss and —

“hey,”

her soft hum pulled him from the spiral.

“one day we’ll look back and laugh about this. and things will be different, but it’ll be okay. it is okay.”

changbin caught her fingers to pull her hand away from his cheek, deciding instead to cherish how perfectly the puzzle pieces of their palms fit together just one more time. he watched his thumb trace over the tattoo on the back of her hand and spoke so softly it was almost like he didn’t want her to hear him.

“i’ll ache over you until then.”

juyeon gave his hand a squeeze, and in that soft voice he used to adore, she put the final nail in the coffin that sealed their fate. maybe it was cruel of her; finally putting a word to it now of all times. but to her it was more like a secret message to the universe. like folding the corner of a page to revisit it later.

“the love isn’t going anywhere, bin. it’ll always be here.”

without the context she kept hidden inside, her original theory was correct; it was cruel. and her choice of words hit him like a truck. though he’d never been stabbed before, changbin could imagine that it felt pretty similar to this. and just as the tears began to fall again, there was a commotion on the other side of the room.

the pained pair whipped their heads in horror to see what it was - who had just stumbled upon something they definitely shouldn’t have - only to find chan waddling out of his room, eyes bleary with sleep. his hair stuck up in all places and as his focus zeroed-in on the recently accused chan was quickly brought back to reality.

“hey — are you okay? the meeting?”

changbin still hadn’t gotten past that word yet; love. it rang in his ears like his morning alarms, jarring and above all else, frustrating. that just left juyeon to handle the damage control and thankfully she was quick to jump into action.

“meeting went fine, binnie just felt bad i got in trouble.” she feigned nonchalance and fluffed his hair while he wiped his tears “but it’s okay, nothing’s changing and there should be a statement soon.”

changbin sniffled and plastered on a weak smile with a thumbs up to help the cause. it seemed to work as chan nodded with a yawn.

“well, i’m glad it went well. sorry you got in trouble, biya.”

she stood with a shrug, finally leaving the younger boys’ side to lighten the tension she felt with a joke as she grabbed a drink from the fridge. “it’s fine. just can’t be friends with my friends on camera, that’s all.”

chan chuckled dryly, “you’re funny, but that actually makes me very sad.”

“want a hug?” she offered over her shoulder as she unscrewed the lid.

“of course!”

the leader (who seemed like both the oldest and the maknae at times) giggled and happily bounced over to her, arms wrapping around her waist to lift her off her feet in a tight bear hug. he made incomprehensible squeaky noises as she wheezed and set her back down with a pat on the head.

juyeon laughed breathlessly as a result of having all the oxygen squeezed from her lungs. “better?”

“for now.” chan beamed. the chirp! of a twitter notification made his phone vibrate in his pocket and upon checking it he looked back to changbin, tears gone but the emotion still prevalent. “the rest of the boys should be bringing food home soon and then we’re going to the studio. you guys coming?”

both parties hummed in response.

he nodded and began to backpedal toward the bathroom. “kay, then i’m gonna go take a quick shower before i have to fight for it.”

“don’t slip!” juyeon called after him

“we’ll see!”

chan entered the bathroom and made sure to lock it behind him before looking in the mirror to find the natural perplexed expression he had been biting back. did they think they were slick? juyeon and changbin may have been able to fly under the radar to their boss, but really, how could they ever deceive someone who knew them as well as chan did?

[w3bgrl]

3racha and juyeon

a/n: ship popularity is 1-8 with one being the most popular and 8 being the least! this is rated by stay interaction and not a representation of the member’s feelings toward one another.

bang chan + kang juyeon ♡ bangju

ship popularity: 2/8

first to meet juyeon!!

met in a jyp dance class in june 2014 and slowly started hanging out. they would go spend the little money they had getting a snack after class and ended up seeing each other at least once a day

juyeon and chan eventually found out they were both making their own music quietly and started bouncing ideas off of each other and offering constructive criticism

she was the first to support 3racha when they began working together and single-handedly promoted them herself, sending their music in text chains to her family and friends

chan says she is the ‘racha’ in 3racha because she is the spice, but juyeon is not officially a part of 3racha. she has featured in a few of their songs, namely hoodie season, scene stealers, and 42.

juyeon certainly tends to be chan’s caretaker due to knowing him so well and knowing how stressful the leader position can be.

when it’s just the two of them juyeon forces him to speak in english so she can try to mimick his accent

definitely bros, although sometimes they’re a little flirty as they’re both venus signs (๑>◡<๑)

seo changbin + kang juyeon (chu) ♡ binchu

ship popularity: 1/8

their first impressions were not great tbh

predebut, juyeon found changbin intimidating and unintentionally avoided talking to him, which made changbin think she didn’t like him

however, egged on by chan and jisung, changbin asked juyeon if she wanted to get dinner after practice one day, and he tried hard to show how friendly and warm he is

this plan certainly worked, as juyeon was able to see past the cold exterior and find the soft squishy aegyo on the inside that stays know well

funny enough, the pair found that their personalities were quite compatible once they became comfortable with one another. their temperaments compliment each other well in a opposite kind of way.

while changbin is energetic, outgoing, loud, confident, (leoism) juyeon is soft spoken, shy, and very chilled out at most times. when together, these traits mix, and you can often witness changbin calmer than usual and/or juyeon more excitable than she regularly is

in 2019 miroh era stays noticed a slight difference in their interactions and a dating scandal was endured by the two. however, jyp entertainment commented and denied the allegations, saying that “changbin and juyeon are good friends.”

the denial of the allegations didn’t disprove the theory though. stays consistently have watched their interactions since this point and have grown to believe that they are secretly dating or at the very least have some feelings toward each other. around 70% of stays who believe this don’t mind and support their happiness, while the remaining amount of stays have a known history of not liking juyeon.

typically seen together at most times, both on camera and off camera

bin is always trying to impress juyeon and juyeon is always impressed. it’s a never ending cycle.

han jisung + kang juyeon ♡ yeonsung

ship popularity: 3/8

juyeon was really impressed by jisung when she first met him as he was only 16 at the time and was skilled in dancing, rapping, and singing

she really loved the tone of his voice and the versatility he was able to achieve, which she has always been a little envious about

however, baby jisung, who happened to be more scampish prior to debut, did not like juyeon! upon first meeting he found her soft spoken nature fake and was annoyed by her “over the top” aegyo. he felt that she was putting on an act and didn’t appreciate her dishonesty.

for a while after their initial meeting, jisung was pretty short with her and it was quite obvious he didn’t enjoy her presence. she noticed this and instead of backing off like she may have if it was changbin, juyeon used every opportunity she could to butter him up

it took a couple weeks - and a few rejections of her invitation to hang out - but juyeon finally took a step outside her comfort zone and told jisung that 1) she really liked his voice and made a beat for him based off of this, and 2) she feels that they got off on the wrong foot and would like a chance to try again

this interaction and her authenticity really touched jisung, and it was then that he realized how judge mental he was being. while she was soft spoken and radiated a naturally cute vibe, it wasn’t an act for attention from boys or a mask put on to conceal her real personality. she was really the way she presented herself. and she was good at what she did, too.

as we can see now, jisung and juyeon’s friendship significantly improved and are now very close friends.

jisung now looks up to juyeon as a role model for communication

she was also the one to scold him and hyunjin for beefing lol

besties now!

if chan ever needs a duo to create chaos and misfortune for the day, this is his go to pair.

[w3bgrl]

can you be stealthy, agent seo?

synopsis: chan and juyeon endure a mundane schedule by talking some things out before heading home to meet with the rest of the boys. there, the members grow hungry during the early hours of the morning and changbin steps up to save the day, shockingly accompanied by none other than juyeon to the convenience store.

date: early september 2019

era: pre-levanter

word count: 3.1k

featuring: kang juyeon, bang chan, seo changbin, all other members mentioned

warnings: minimal swearing, descriptions of ot10 and former member woojin, reference to jisung's anxiety/hiatus

a/n: recently the more i write the more i feel like i'm not making any sense so let me know if i really am descending into madness on good ole tumblr.com/w3bgrl :) anyways binchu back on their bullshit

the photoshoot studio is cold when juyeon finally gets a text back, shifting from the comfortable position with her hands tucked under her thighs to pull her phone from her pocket, a gust of cool air sending goosebumps up her wrist as she reads the message. the dolled-up girl smiled down at the screen and her eyes flick up to check on chan's shoot progress again before responding.

'at least they're not playing our music. i think that would be torture.'

juyeon looked back up again, this time in search of whoever may be in charge of the music. surely she could request some more upbeat songs, right? — nothing against IU, obviously — but she was sure everyone could use some more pep today. her phone buzzed again.

bin: 'oh definitely. it's torture here. everyone's so quiet.'

'throw on some twice in between takes. heart shaker always does the trick for me.'

bin: 'you know what my song is?'

there, seated at one of the tables to rest between takes that just so happened to be the one with snacks, juyeon smiled down at her phone again despite IU's 'palette' resonating quietly off the brick walls through the camera's rapid-fire. she could already guess along the lines of what he'd say and yet she gave him the opportunity anyway.

'hm?'

bin: 'what is love <3 i wanna know know know know ~’

juyeon now had to set her phone down as she bit at her lip to conceal the stupid smile threatening her nonchalance, stewing in the confusing mix of cringe and affection combining in her chest — which is when she'd notice the absence of the repetitive click that'd been audible for the last 45 minutes, leaving nothing but the bittersweet song to fill the deathly silence in the building. by the time she noticed chan was already leaving the set and making his way to one of the seats beside her. juyeon discarded her phone back in her pocket.

"have you been awake this whole time?" the leader asked once he was in a comfortable-talking range. juyeon shifted to her right while he sat down with a sigh. "yeah?"

"damn, i thought you'd take a nap once you got a break."

chan spoke mostly monotonously, wholly unlike his typical cheerful disposition, and juyeon took this into consideration as she mulled over her response. "i thought about it...but i didn't feel like going back to makeup after drooling." and just as expected; chan simply nodded, closed off and serious despite her obviously playful remark. the younger girl waited for only a moment with a bated breath before sliding her icy hands back under her thighs.

"how you feeling?"

she could see his jaw clench as he looked back over at her.

"honestly?"

juyeon urges him on with a nod. "always."

"hurt." chan states flatly "and mad. and sad. mostly mad, though."

"understandable. do you wanna talk about it?"

his answer is immediate. "not really." juyeon smiles weakly to herself as she nods. "yeah, that's also understandable. i've had enough talking about it."

chan is now the one to prod as he shifts to loosen the arms crossed tightly over his chest. "how're the rappers doing with studio time?"

"jinnie would be hurt" she giggles at the implication and pulls her phone back out to re-read changbin's messages "good, bin said they've been quiet but productive. he said minho's been helpful for hannie."

chan sighs once more, this time much heavier in relation to the other weight reapplied to his chest, and juyeon can't help the way her gaze flicks up to check up on him. he looks exhausted, of course; the stress of these last few days had been agonizingly heavy — for everyone. woojin's untimely departure pulled the rug out from under their feet and before they could even ask any questions they were rushed to start fixing things: re-recording lines and redoing choreo and — chan suddenly spoke up.

"so, you and bin are good again? totally? i don't have to worry about you guys throwing a fit anytime soon?" finally chan grew a little lighter in his demeanor, slightly playful as he earnestly checked in on the former enemies. juyeon would carefully monitor her response.

"nah we're good. honestly, i think we're closer now. we talked it out and said our apologies, so i can kinda understand him better now, you know?"

finally the outline of a smile imprints on chan's lips, the first she'd seen all day, and he teases her with the nudge of his foot. "you guys are like hyunjin and jisung now."

"that's horrible" she remarks in passing and tucks her phone back in her pocket. there is a short beat in their conversation until chan is suddenly prodding again, this time in a secretive hushed tone; "can i ask you something?"

blood running cold upon the question, juyeon whipped her attention back to the older boy in order to analyze each and every feature in search of suspicion, her long nails clinking against jewelry as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "yeah?"

now chan seems apprehensive as he leans back, his thumbs twiddling in his hands clasped over his lap. he starts slowly. "those rumors...they were just rumors — just targeting you for being a girl, yeah?"

he is only half as calculated as juyeon — at least right now, finding his words merely as they came to him. it seemed as though he didn't know how or where to start until that came out which urged him to backpedal slightly.

"just — there's nothing going on between you and changbin, right?" chan adds almost frantically, his eyes reconnecting with her perpetually understanding ones, helping to soften his approach "you'd tell me if you felt that way for anyone, right?"

"of course, chan."

he feels relieved at the ease in her answer; it's apparent in the way his shoulders fall an inch further from his ears, how he subconsciously moves to face her fully, fidgeting hands now still.

"those rumors will haunt us forever," she says "but you don't need to worry about us. you've got enough on your plate."

chan nodded intently and took a deep breath. "well — thanks…that helps…betrayal feels like shit."

juyeon had to dig her nails into her palm as the minimal heat in her body rushed to her face. she pressed her lips together as she gulped, mirroring his nod before nudging him with her foot.

"wanna talk about it?"

chan would release a final sigh-like-grumble before admitting his defeat. "…yeah...i do."

seated in a circle gathered on the livingroom floor the disgruntled members are venturing further into the night when a particularly long lull in the conversation would reveal the audible grumbles of their bellies. they didn't even mean to entirely miss dinner in favor of their venting session, but as felix's stomach voiced its complaints for the lack of attention, seungmin turned to look at the oven clock.

"shit, it's 1."

hyunjin whipped around with wide eyes to check it out himself, mouth hanging open when he verified that it was indeed one in the morning. "dude...i need food."

"me too." jisung, who'd been especially quiet today, spoke in a small voice. from his place beside the glum boy minho would jump to offer the first meals that came to him. "i can make kimbap? or — we have the noodles for japchae?"

chan was already shaking his head "it'll take too long to make a portion for all of us. we should just go to bed, tomorrow'll be even longer."

finally, amongst all the pessimism filling the room in the form of hungry and tired mumbles, changbin spoke up in a light and playful tone with the ghost of a smile on his face. "what if i ran out to grab snacks? it'll only take 20 — 30 minutes."

juyeon's eyes now shot over to chan to watch the disapproval already creasing his brow. "everyone could pick their favorite" she chirped before he could say no in her best mimic of changbin's delicate demeanor. "little 'pick-me-up' before bed?"

soon all heads turned to the leader who sat contemplating with his own gaze shifting between the outspoken pair. he knew them — all of them — well enough to understand he was in the minority on this one, and though he also knew the risk of punishment for 1) sneaking out past curfew and 2) buying unhealthy snacks, chan would simply sigh.

"okay, but be quick, yeah? and please — whatever you do — just don't get caught, okay?"

changbin is already to his feet with a serviceable nod. "all will be well, hyung. now send me your orders!" he shrieks while stumbling his way through the crowd of boys toward his bedroom "i'm gonna grab a hoodie."

"i'll go with you." says juyeon naturally as she mirrors his actions, pushing herself to her feet and carefully stepping through the members closest to the front door. "grab me one, too!" she calls after him. a hand taps her calf once changbin is out of view.

hyunjin, with a hushed tone, has his neck cranked to look up at the older girl with furrowed brows. "since when were you guys cool again?" he asks, and she can feel heat blooming on her cheeks for the second time today as well as the other boys' growing proximity while they leaned in closer to hear the breaking news.

truth be told; after their huge argument bin and chu made amends and fixed their attitudes without ever clarifying what had happened to the members — not that they even asked, anyway. it seemed too tender of a topic; too fresh and too delicate, so instead they kept to themselves and observed from afar. by this point all they knew for sure was that they didn't bicker anymore and that was enough for them! but some of them swore the formerly close pair had begun warming up to one another again. in fact, just the other day jeongin had sent individual texts to tell the members they were taking selfies, so juyeon joining him on a solo trip to the convenience store seemed like a big moment.

reaching for her hair pulled into a bun juyeon's hand falls short to slyly scratch at her neck as she offers an uncertain-looking shrug, and just as her lips part to spit something out, changbin emerges from his room adorned in a sweatshirt with the hood up and one for juyeon in hand.

"ready?"

she hums and takes the hoodie to pull it on. changbin nods at hyunjin still sitting with his head uncomfortably panned upwards, "send me what you want."

"oh! right!"

the hoodied duo now turn their backs to slide their shoes on and the remaining boys all share a look with one another before whipping back to watch them leave. changbin steps out first, holding the door open for juyeon who pauses to wave before leaving, and then the front door closes behind them and the final 7 are left speechless.

"did you bring your wallet?" is the first thing changbin says once it's just them. juyeon's eyes narrow. "...no?"

"well — then who's paying?"

it only takes her a second longer to register the smirk lingering in the corner of his mouth threatening to destroy the act put forth. she can only smile and shake her head at his resumed antics. "come on." she chuckles, grabbing his wrist to pull him towards their destination despite the way her palm began to burn. "we've got 25 minutes to make it there and back."

changbin is smiling now too, the playful facade replaced by a genuine toothy grin, his tone now entirely too fond for the halls of the company building. "what would i have done without you?"

"is that what this is? you just wanted to hang out?"

changbin simply shrugs indicating that yes; this was just a ruse to enjoy her company (or undivided attention) since they couldn't interact how they wanted to around anyone else. it had become somewhat of a game they played throughout the day — to see what elaborate way they could sneak off without anyone noticing, though changbin was usually better at it. the first week after their amends, changbin faked back pain for her heating pad which was conveniently located in her room.

"i wanted to see you, can you blame me?"

juyeon finally releases his wrist and is positively certain of the burn mark left on her palm while she replicates his sly shrug, exuding charisma with her pompous tone "i mean, i am awesome, so that's understandable." she laughs at herself now and drops the act "but i texted you all day and now you've got me walking half a mile."

"i want to see you, though." changbin hums, his eyes on the blush warming her face "plus you left me on read for an hour! what's wrong with my twice pick?"

"nothing! what is love was a great choice! chan got a break and came to talk, that's all."

"oh...and how was that?"

juyeon sighed and shrugged again, this time far more serious and authentic than the last. "i don't know...i think it's just on his mind, you know? these long days give him more time to think about it — and he says he doesn't want to talk about it but woojin just keeps coming up." changbin now pulls his gaze away to open another set of doors for her leading to the familiar elevators that would bring them down to the first floor.

"what did he say?"

"just...you know —" juyeon presses the call button before crossing her arms, trailing off while she recalls their lengthy conversation at the shoot location and omitting the information that didn’t need repeating "he wishes they could've talked before it got to this point. he feels betrayed and on edge right now — especially with how hannie's been recently — not that it's his fault or anything. but he's mad about being left out of the conversation entirely, just kept in the dark until the decision was made."

the elevator dings as it arrives to their floor. changbin and juyeon step inside silently with the same reminiscent memory in their mind, and as their gaze meets again like the pull of magnets, the older girl leans against the railing to tap his shoe with her own. "he asked about us today, too."

changbin waits for the doors to close before he responds in a half-whisper. "and?? what did he say??" despite juyeon's cool manner in presenting this news changbin is nearly frantic, far more intrigued by her response now than the last time he asked.

"well, he wanted to know if we were good again — if he had to worry about us fighting anymore. so i told him no, we're good, and then he asked about the rumors; if there was actually anything between us."

"and you said...?" changbin's eyebrows furrowed at her, now clearly on edge in wait for her conclusion.

and yet, she remained shockingly optimistic, a faint smile on her lips as she spoke. "the truth; no matter how we interact, what's been said can't be unsaid, those rumors will follow us forever."

"so..." he sighed "we'll have to be like this forever? not to say that i don't enjoy these times with you, but i hate staying so far away all the time."

juyeon would now reach out to make contact once more, her delicate fingers trailing down his arm like she wanted to grab hold while her smile grew into a dazzling grin, eliciting an admittedly confused smirk from him. "actually, i think it's the opposite." she hums "i think if we play our cards right things'll go back to normal in time. i mean — we've always been good friends up until the rumors, right? and then we kinda had a falling out and grew apart, right?”

changbin nodded along to show he was still following as her demeanor became more mischievous the further she spoke. he could almost see the feigned innocence in her doe eyes as she said, “so now we’re just getting back to being friends — little by little every day. at some point we’ll be totally normal again and then any resurfacing rumors can be explained away by our fallout. if we play our cards right no one will even bat an eye — they'll just be glad we're close again."

the crimson-haired boy would merely blink back at her for a moment as he tested her theory in his own head and was shocked to find many of the same ideas pointing him in the same direction. whether her plan would go accordingly or not was still left up to the general public's perception of them — particularly her — which would leave their conclusion in the air until the time came, but this wasn't even the part he was really interested in anymore. instead, changbin's restrained smirk would grow to reveal his teeth before a dry chuckle escaped his throat.

"kang juyeon, you sly devil." he teased in a silky-smooth tone "i think you'd be a great supervillain, you are far more mischievous than you look. how long did you think about this master plan of yours?"

the elevator slows to a stop as they arrive on the lobby floor and she finally pulls away again to tuck a strand of hair behind her red ears with a casual shrug. "i told you i was awesome."

changbin has to bite back a full beaming grin when the elevator doors open and they exit silently towards the front doors of the jyp building. he rummages in his pocket for his id card to press to the reader before pushing the door open for her once again and resuming conversation the moment they were outside.

"and chan's not suspicious at all?" he asks, the cool breeze biting at his cheeks "you really think this'll work?"

juyeon laughs and looks back over at him with her signature beautiful smile (at least in his eyes) "i do. we just need to be stealthy, that's all." she then grabs the neckline of her sweatshirt and brings it to her lips as if talking into a mic, an eyebrow cocked at him. "can you be stealthy, agent seo?"

once again changbin has to fight back the giddy, knee-jerk reaction of a sunny smile at her antics and swallow the urge to remake contact, instead pressing an index to his tragus like he was listening through an earpiece. "actually, i think i can, agent kang."

ju's perpetually flowing giggles indicate utter satisfaction with his response and the so-called agent now nods forward toward the convenience store growing closer with each step. "good answer. now for our first mission; gs25 on yangjae boulevard."

[w3bgrl]

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 w3bgrl works

2017 — 2020 ↴

— 90 degrees! ♡ circa late 2016 to mid 2017 // hyunjin and jisung start a fight the night before evaluations. this doesn’t go over well for them, but in hindsight, it was the best decision they could’ve made that day.

— how can i say it ♡ march 4th, 2018 // cantsay was an original song released predebut by juyeon that had long-lasting effects on a certain somebody.

— metronome ♡ december 28th, 2018 // changbin always wanted to hang out with his members once they finally returned home, and juyeon was always there to give him company. but tonight was gonna be different; changbin was determined to make tonight an exception.

— the art of shameless adoration ♡ march 2019 // changbin visits the eldest dancers in the practice room and once left alone binchu react totally reasonably when things get hot and sweaty.

— universal deviation ♡ april 2019 // changbin and juyeon officially deny their dating rumors; now it’s time to talk about it privately.

— truth woven within the venom ♡ september 2019 // even when juyeon reached out changbin was pushing her away.

— bonding time ♡ october 2019 // a glimpse into one of jinju’s more significant bonding sessions.

— can you be stealthy, agent seo? ♡ early september 2019 // xxx

2021 — 2024 ↴

— coming soon…

[w3bgrl]

w3bgrl’s postal codes 𓍊

extra w3bgrl tags listed and explained below the cut! <3

🩰 - kai talks

w3btalk — answered asks/requests

♡ billie - juyeon centric-tag

billie ⊹˚♡. ݁ ˖ visual — gif set reblogs

billie.bubble — bubble messages

joong.stagram — instagram updates

stayville.twt — stay twitter

billie.tok — stay tik tok

disc // billie — discography

bibi crumb 𓍊 — videos

♡ bangju — chan and juyeon centric-tag

♡ hoyeon — minho and juyeon centric-tag

♡ binchu — changbin and juyeon centric-tag

♡ jinju — hyunjin and juyeon centric-tag

♡ yeonsung — jisung and juyeon centric-tag

♡ yeonbok — felix and juyeon centric-tag

♡ yamong — seungmin and juyeon centric-tag

♡ inju — jeongin and juyeon centric-tag

♡ hyunjusung — works containing trio hyunjin, jisung, and juyeon themes

to be updated as needed ☆彡