#♡. cinnamon lovemail

[dearmahiru]

waaaa thank you so much for this question that i definitely didn't take three months to answer. i totally didn't overcomplicate this very simple question for myself and ending up with completely different songs each list! no siree!! (and i totally didn't lose the og ask </3)

sarcasm aside—even though the question didn't specify these would be official covers i went into the list with that mindset, so i narrow it down to strictly vocaloid songs (no utaite or general jpn songs!), the song must be consistent with the prisoner's style (kotoko wouldn't sing a sappy love ballad, yuno isn't doing a screamo), and no producer doubles!

alts are songs that don't fit these rules / aren't my first pick but i still wanted to mention :3c

01. Haruka ─ First Train and Kafka

Though I’ve nothing but things I want to say, I’m sorry that nothing comes out I’ve become a poisonous bug, it isn’t that interesting though

Since my frightened family isn’t even here, I look down upon the calm of the city alone That hair of yours that swayed in the first summer’s wind came to mind

Alt: I Was Human

02. Yuno ─ Goodbye, Ms. Flower Thief

I've been dreaming a dream within a dream, within a dream Seaside, on the seaside, a kitten's sweet demise...

While I smoke a cigarette Until morning comes, hold me, hold me...

Alt: I Think I'm Falling Inlove With My Teacher

03. Fuuta ─ Idola No Circus

Come, let’s dance all night in our naked bodies We know, we know your true nature Again putting on a fake face You’re just like a pierrot

Come on up to the stage! You knew, didn't you? You’re also an accomplice

Alt: Rinne

04. Mu ─ Ikanaide

"It's nothing," I kept to myself. Truth is, I wanted to stop those footsteps for a moment, But you're gliding forward with such quick steps And I'm simply watching

You fade out of sight, far, far away, leaving me behind. Completely. Once again, the night blurs itself out, Don't cry, just don't cry

Alt: FAILURE GIRL

05. Shidou ─ Shoujo Fuzei

Again, she told a lie and felt relieved with perfectly trimmed bangs, she said, "Come here, and accompany me to hell."

Chop it up, this body doesn’t feel anything like pain Unfortunately, delusion is something that everyone harbors

06. Mahiru ─ Love of Love By Love For Love

A spider lily struggling to live, A heart writhing with maggots With your voice and your smile My pulse began beating anew

That day, I fell in love with love With time, I killed that love, killed it, killed it

Alt: Hurry To The Night

07. Kazui ─ Cutlery

The cutlery is rusted, as if it has been used often. I want you to end it in the worst case...

Before I get sick of you, I’ll act selfishly without hesitating even if I’ll end up losing you.

Alt: Charles / Delusion Girl / Quiet Room

08. Amane ─ Milk Crown On Sonnetica

Can't do it, such a talent isn't sold in any store Even God, who art in Heaven, reduces such a junk to a heirloom?

You ask "Wait, why is it that you beg for forgiveness in such a miserable manner?" This was surprisingly silly - so much that I just stood still and cried

09. Mikoto ─ Bitter Choco Decoration

I try not to forget to add in a few light-hearted jokes and a touch of lip service I try to smile and show off my charisma whenever I can

I try not to pointlessly expose myself, Not to talk about myself, not to understand myself But I try not to be a bit too silent, To be laughed at rather than to make people laugh

010. Kotoko ─ Shama

A femme fatale prisoner dressed in stripes Gulps down the juice squeezed from the crowd Every night, drunkenly, she plays with fire, and hangs herself When the wax figure of a little girl melts

If you affirm your shallowness Then where’s my ground to stand on? "An annoying glass and foundation Hang your tongue out, just like a dog."

[dearmahiru]

Hiii :3 For the Milgram ask game: 5, 14, 19 for Mahiru and 9, 12, 16 for Shidou?

omg hi hi hello hello :3c

5. favorite voice drama line/moment?

Mahiru: Kotoko-chan’s acts aren’t a problem, either. I think she’s fighting for her own cause as well. So I don’t blame her. Because I also think that I… that my love isn’t wrong. I don’t want to be shamed for my love.

Mahiru: Yeah. Es-kun, you’re working so hard… You’re doing great. Es: …! Mahiru: …Oh my… are you crying? Es-kun… Es: I’m not! Mahiru: You’re putting up a tough front.

(*kicking, crying, sliding down the wall dramatically, banging my head on the wall, ripping my hair out, screaming, punching air, rolling in dirt, eating sand angrily*)

i am so normal about this :) i expected mahiru's second voice drama to lean in thick on guilt-tripping and having mahiru be bitter but no. not only does she not get angry but instead she just forgives everyone involved. what the actual fuck

14. any headcanons on their appearance?

went :0 when i saw this question and went to go finish this little edit i was working on! i really really love the idea of mahiru having tan skin and her being a gyaru when she was a younger. i was actually hoping to make some blasian edits for the milgram cast (since i'm blasian!) but i'm a bit worried about being sent hate </3

19. what do you think their childhood/teenage years were like?

well you see (*shuffles through seven pages worth of self-projection*) it all started when she was born─

kidding kidding! i imagine that, during her years at an all-girls school, mahiru was apart of a popular clique but felt detached from them because they often took advantage of her. coupled with her sheltered upbringing, depression, and insecurities, this manifested in her strong desire to feel and give love to someone.

i also like to think teenage mahiru's hair was a little bit longer!

9. do you forgive/not forgive their crime on its own?

oh god this is another hard one─ um. i feel like if i was asked this about a real life person then my initial reaction would be, "this should not be my business." it feels so deeply personal to the people involved in the case that my input would feel grossly inappropriate.

i will say yes if only because it was for love. because, if asked if you could forgive someone's murder if it was out of a love, wouldn't you naturally want to forgive them? shidou's entire case is so messy but if i forgive mahiru for her twisted perspective of love that hurt people then i can surely forgive shidou. though, i do understand why someone else wouldn't be able to forgive him.

12. what do you wish would be discussed more often about them in the fandom?

hm, i'm not quite sure if there's any more discussions to mine? out of all of the characters i think shidou's treated mostly fairly, just plagued with the organ harvesting theory and amane discourse.

i personally would love to see more discussions about mahiru and shidou's parallels! i adore the similarities between fuuta and mu, so it saddens me that i don't know enough about shidou's character to draw the same for shidou/mahiru. if anyone wants to enlighten me i'd be thrilled!

OH AND THE JACK THE RIPPER REFERENCE IN HIS NAME!! it's very funny to me he's the only character who, to my knowledge, references an serial killer. buddy my bud are you good.

16. how do you think they actually sing in regular life?

boooring answer i imagine his voice would be similar, he'd just be more amateurish and hit the same notes as easily. i love this question though because it popped up the image in my head of shidou being taken to a mixer and awkwardly trying to do karaoke.

[dearmahiru]

(Hi it's 04dissection hello!!!)

Mahiru for 4, 11, and 12?

omg hello hello hello!!

04. favorite minigram episode/moment?

i mentioned it once but i really, really adore the kotomappi jump rope one + the handmade chocolates one

i think it's so incredibly funny how mahiru projects her lover onto kotoko (🏳️‍🌈?!) and just how adorable mahiru looks in general. her permanent closed-eyed smile is just sooooo cute!

11. what are your favorite points about their story and the narrative surrounding them?

haha, am i allowed to say everything? i just—gosh, i love mahiru so much that i can hardly name just one thing i love about her story. she's a complete package!

i will say i've had a recent fascination with mutually toxic relationships so the boyfriend reveal has been like giving a cat a ball of yarn. it's real easy to turn your nose up at mahiru's inability to change but she genuinely believes she'll die without love, and i'm so obsessed with how her mind works. like... he's just some guy, nobody special, she literally can't say a anything about him except he's nice yet she desired love from his so much it suffocated the both of them. don't look at me i'm a mess.

also god her parallels with shidou and kazui (*bites fist*) (*bites fist*) (*bit

12. what do you wish would be discussed more often about them in the fandom?

honestly? that she's suicidal.

when i love you first came out it really disappointed me how mahiru's suicide ideation went unnoticed. it's strongly hinted that she suffers from depression and that the main reason she's fascinated with love is that it's given her a reason to live. as someone who struggles with the same thing, i find it very interesting, and i wished it recieved a bit more attention when analyzing her. 

(and also i'm still kinda peeved that someone said mahiru wasn't suicidal because she didn't immediately kick the bucket when she had the chance to. that's not how that works lmao.)

[dearmahiru]

u dont have to answer this but i saw ur url in my notifs and i was like. CINNAMONNNN♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ youve been deeaaddd i miss u </3

CREATURE TOKYOGRUEL HIIII i've also missed talking to my friends so so so so so much!! depression been kicking my ass the past few months but kotoko's really revitalized my interest in writing, and i'm super excited to get back in the community. i can't wait to share the things i've been working on i think they're coming out really nicely!!

[dearmahiru]

Checking in

oh! i'm not quite sure if you're asking for a life update or if i've done smth concerning but overall i'm fine ( just been a little quiet since i'm doing twelve things on different blogs atm but i'm rushing back rn for the ktk interrogation )

[dearmahiru]

I know we've never really spoken before !!!!! But !!!!!!

A bouncy boy for you !!!!!!!!

oh i just realized we really haven't spoken to eachother !! i always sees your .mimiming~ posts on my dash and i feel like i've liked/reblogged sm of your stuff lmao ( <-friendship through osmosis + parallel play )

and :0c a silly seal !! i wonder what my reaction shall be if i were to find its traveled miles from its home and knocked upon upon my doorstep. . .

[dearmahiru]

Thanks for the answers~ Also I meant to do this a while ago but I made a Daisuki cover and wanted to send it to you! https://youtu.be/uehtmRaG7N8?si=Mr0cklXRqHfFtYuM

aaaaa thank you so much for sharing with me this is so cool???? i really adore your singing and the emotion you've brought to the sound!!

[dearmahiru]

AUAUAU SO... I'VE BEEN RLLY ENJOYING ALL THE KOTOPOSTING AND UPON LOOKING AT YOUR DP BINGO, I NOTICED THE EX-PARTNER SQUARE????? I DIDN'T KNOW SHE HAD AN EX??????

THANK YOU I'M SO FLATTERED YOU'VE LIKED IT SO FAR!!

aa i can't remember all of it off the top of my head but there are a few hints that kotoko might've had a previous partner working with her before entering milgram.

i. kotoko nicely complements john doe ("you're weak, and you should rely on me, because i know what's best for you as your protector and savior"), which implies she might have a 'mikoto' of her own.

ii. there's also these voicelines:

kotoko: "there are people who understand what i'm doing."

kotoko: "from the beginning, i've never asked for your understanding! my actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. useless weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

the continuity for the second voicelines are unclear but my personal interpretations is that they're the catalyst for each's prisoner murder (yuno greeting her client, mu screaming for rei to slow down, kazui lying to hinako by saying he loves her, etc.)

for kotoko, she's clearly arguing with someone about the morality of what she's doing. this someone has confronted her about her vigilantism and, rather than scoffing or denying, she felt the need to defend her actions. this suggests, at the very least, that she's speaking with someone close to her.

iii. there's also kotoko's beloved jacques roulet cap, which is a reference to a man known as the "werewolf of angers."

in the story, some countrymen found two wolves feasting on the multilated corspe of a child, and proceed to chase them away only to find jacques roulet in the bushes, covered in blood and human flesh. when interrogated in court, jacques confessed to being a werewolf and that the two wolves were his companions, jean and julien.

iv. and it reads as no coincidence that fuuta, one of kotoko's major parallels, is apart of a guild and kotoko is apart of a wolf pack.

fuuta: "you already noticed right? what you gonna do. bring it on! those who believe in justice assemble!"

kotoko: "you're not going to collaborate? but we should have all the same goal."

...and that her third major parallel is a literal marching band.

[dearmahiru]

Yeah I saw your long Mahiru shinju theory post and when I saw the glitch being conveniently on Mahiru’s neck I stood up and shouted “YEP THATS THE ONE”

ITS SUCH A GOOD FIND THANK YOU❗️❗️❗️

this has absolutely rekindled my passion for this theory im bouncing on the walls im so so so excited. the fact that the moment mahiru "kills" her boyfriend by feeding him rats also has her neck begin to glitch out is just so AH

because why else would you go to aokigahara with your lover!! especially when you express that you'd die without love!!!! AAAAAAAAAA

[dearmahiru]

Taps you on the shoulder… who is your third favorite character… because my two favorites are Mahiru and Futa as well…

here's my personal tier list! i actually tried breaking the bottom eight into smaller sections but the gap isn't that big?? none of them are in the husband slot for me but i'd defend and praise all of them. the silliest

[dearmahiru]

for ask game: 1, 2, 4, 11 for Mahiru and 3, 5, 6, 11 for Kotoko 💕

oh my hello hello!! for mahiru, i've answered 1 + 2 + 11 here and 4 here

3. favorite non-mv official illustration?

i know i call kotoko handsome and cool and my husband every sentence but also. she's handsome and cool and my husband. gorgeous gorgeous woman!!

5. favorite voice drama line/moment?

OH I WISH WE HAD YONAH because i know there's going to be some amazing relevations there but if i must be constrained to task....

Kotoko: "Yes. I hate evil. Hurting innocent people with violence, taking away from others, killing people… I hate all this evil behaviour! The law being unable to judge some sins, there's too many of these cases in this world. Having clearly bullied and torturing the weak, but exploiting loopholes in laws, there's so many sinners who still live in such a carefree manner! Even though I want to change this world, I alone only have this much power."

i'm a huge massive sucker for characters who embody justice (hence why i immediately latched onto fuuta) so this little monologue always has me kicking my feet. she's our guard dog, she's our fangs, she'll protect those she deem weak whether they like it or not. i can see the red flags but it's so easy to get swept up in her line of thinking, and i think all of her flaws are just so beautiful.

6. favorite relationships with another character in the prison?

this is a hilarious question for kotoko because all of her relationships suck. she beat up half of the prisoners, will absolutely throw down with shidou and kazui (pun intended), and is disconnected from mu and haruka.

but to answer your question, i am forever a huge fan of the kotokoto combo 💥💥💥

they're so insanely funny to me. you'd think the social, pretty-boy with an easy going personality and the handsome goth ice queen would naturally clash but not genuinely vying for eachother's deaths.

kotoko's like "hm, sure i'll wish you happy birthday" and then a month later is perfectly happy to execute an elbow drop on him. i mourn the a universe where they actually developed a friendship but for now i'm just delighted by them. the sillies (gone wrong) (gone violent) (the police were called)

11. what are your favorite points about their story and the narrative surrounding them?

ohhh there's so much stuff but kotoko's the most elusive character right now without her second mv. but if i had to praise her storytelling then the reach kotoko's influence has never failed to astound me.

the reason fuuta claims we're the same is because, through a group effort, people were seriously and almost died. if kotoko never attacked anyone, would he say this or would he have an easier time accepting his verdict?

a huge factor for shidou's innocence was so he could save the guilty prisoners. i wonder how seriously warped his music video would've been without this purpose spurring him on. like yuno and kotoko, i don't think he would've accepted his verdict and his self-loathing would only grow.

and a big factor contributing to the friendly atmosphere of the prisoner was the social prisoners chipping in their effort. it's already confirmed that mahiru would have made friends with amane if either weren't unwell, and she would probably have tried to keep things cheerful once more.

even if we do place a metaphorically place a muzzle on kotoko in trial three, i can't help but wonder what kind of domino effect it'll have!

[dearmahiru]

Milgram ask game: Mahiru for 1, 2, 9, 11, and 18!

boxx-sama!! my fellow mahiru comrade hello o7

1. favorite song lyrics?

honestly, there are some incredibly interesting (and sad) lyrics mahiru has but my favorites are solely the ones that are addicting to listen to.

i adore the way okasaki miho sings "futari overheat de" and the entireity of "purururu yonaka ni kimi ni calling, muriyari okoshite good morning~"

(slightly unrelated but the es cover where they just deadpan the entire song is so iconic.)

2. favorite mv moment/frame?

I HATE THEM❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️

9. do you forgive/not forgive their crime on its own?

i want to say yes because i'm very fiercely dedicated to defending mahiru but it's not a very confident yes. if i was simply told whether to forgive someone for being unintentionally driving their lover to suicide then i think i'd react with disgust, but i know mahiru. i know there's a lot more nuance to her case and, if i'm allowed to factor that in, then yes i would forgive her.

18. which non-deco vocaloid songs do you think suit them?

sob i actually did this with all of the prisoners here but i think my choices for mahiru are so... bland? like yea yea these are popular songs about love, big whoop.

i do plan on making a playlist for mahiru and her boyfriend for a small fic i'm writing so hopefully those will yield better ideas for songs (fingers crossed!)

[dearmahiru]

Hello I was the person who requested the bisexual Mappi icons and I am also a bisexual Mahiru enjoyer 👍

🤝

[dearmahiru]

You know i really really like how you word your posts. Like idk how to describe it but it kinda makes my brain happy idk. Often times I read your posts, I end up enjoying the way you choose words and sentences more than the actual content of the post. It's just really nice honestly, it's always a joy to read your posts.

ohhh anon this is such a nice thing to say!!

(〃´▽`〃) thank you! i do worry that the way i format things is off so i'm glad someone out there that likes it

[dearmahiru]

Oh thank GOD somebody else thinks the Mahiru kidnapping theory is silly. Like… it’s just so Out There? (Plus, if she actually did kidnap him, the IMO the only moral quandary left in her case is “should the severely mentally ill be held accountable for crimes they commit due to mental illness”, and frankly I think that base is already well-covered.)

honestly i could gripe about the kidnapper theory all day because all its done is criminalize mahiru in the most ludicrous ways.

"I was invited to his house for the first time. It was my first time going to a man’s house, I was so nervous I didn’t eat anything all day…… I don’t actually remember much!"

for instance, when going to her boyfriend's house, mahiru dissociated to the point of barely remembering anything. this has been used against mahiru to suggest that she is purposefully omitting information about abducting her partner, which is… gross, quite frankly. as dcstoevskys has point out, it's more likely mahiru experienced some kind of stress and she's forgetting as a coping memory, not that she's a lying liar who lies.

and i've already mentioned the looney toones logic that is supposedly mahiru drugging her boyfriend and then giving him a hangover cure. girl, you suck at kidnapping.

or even worse when they try using this image to claim mahiru's an abuser!!! ah yes, the scene where mahiru is metaphorically abusing her spouse has her visibly deteriorated. this is definitely the takeaway the writers intended, yep.

"guilty prisoners second mv will paint them in a sympathetic light" my ass!!!

[dearmahiru]

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⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ hello hello hello my name is cinnamon (she/they) and welcome to my dedicated milgram blog! i tend to ramble most about mahiru (i'm very very subtle about my adoration for her) but i genuinely love each character! i don't consider myself much of a theorist or analysist or what-have-you but i like having opinions.

i must ask that you please don't spam like/reblog my posts! i'm very flattered to recieve so much attention but it does make me rather uncomfortable.

blinky created by @.harukaenthusiast

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