#♥︎ — kells’ thoughts.

[anchoeritic]

need miguel o'hara to spit on my clit

[rawkinks]

♥︎ — TRACK NINE: LOVESONG.

KELLS. twenty-three. she/her. femmetastic. i am my boyfriend’s heart. @goodboylesbian. ‹𝟹

REPLIES & INTERACTIONS — @anchoeritic.

SAPPHIC SAFE PLACE for eighteen plus only. minors and men do not interact, you are not welcomed here. all thoughts will be directed to or about my boyfriend.

DO NOT BE weird. your messages/asks will be ignored and pushed aside. if i feel violated, i will not hesitate to block and report. sexual asks will be deleted or left unanswered.

THIS ACCOUNT CONTAINS content catered to wlw/nblw. all hate will be blocked and reported. i do not have time to deal with bullshit. just block & exit.

INBOX + DMS — OPEN

[garrulousgeologist]

> Kells: Just loose it.

My mental health completely fell apart after I started reading Homestuck.

Not clickbait.

I did not even turn my computer on for the past several days, amongst many other not coping mechanisms. I won’t be reading Homestuck from the website on my phone I'm not an animal.

(That is in fact how I read most of Homestuck as it was actively posted to the mspaintadventures website from the ages of 15-18. Although back then it was on my ipod touch, I didn’t have a smartphone yet).

So, my continued re-read had to wait. For anyone following my journey- I’m a complete mess. If I disappear for long stints just don’t worry about it I always come back. My personal goal is one page of Homestuck every week. That’s it. A goal I (might) be able to reach. This week I managed to get myself to my desk Saturday evening! Right in the nick of time. When will I post this? Only you know that! And me in the future but not the past/present me writing this now (pack it up, Karkat).

Alright fuck even I want to tell me to stfu. Here’s the actual reflection:

ROSE 💜

She’s trying just as hard as I was at her age. She’ll figure it out.

She was definitely my favorite in the past. The Lalondes hold a very special place in my heart, I think they always will. My actual mother is still Mamalonde in my phone to this day and I have no intention of changing that.

Homestuck taught me a lot of vocabulary back when I first read it. I definitely remember still feeling like I was missing information even after googling what I could (words, concepts, the perspective of someone older than 15). I wondered when I started this re-read if I would see any words I had to look up like I did in high school. 

Of course. Of course, who else to bring me to this but Rose Lalonde.

What the fuck is [sic]. I doubt either rose or rox would be using the colloquial ‘sick’ to describe the item. So I googled it.

Now I know. (Also, hi Roxy girl, I can’t wait to get to you ♥ )

[S] John: Take bite of apple. ==> End of Act 1.

Oh. Huh. I guess we get more of Rose later. I thought I remembered way more of her before the end of act 1, but alas, I’ll have to get back to loving everything about her later. 

Now it’s time for..

Oh. We’re back now. So I didn’t forget, I’m just conditioned to think intermissions are long as fuck. Okay then Wayward Vagabond, I’ll have to get back to loving everything about you later. Back to Rose!

Uh. . . .

Yes, right right, I knew that. -ahem-

What’s next? Oh god, the kernel.

Now what in the fresh fluorescent hell does THAT mean (any tips, eidolonyaldaboath?). Again, on the surface I can see with my eyes what happened. The kernel wasn’t one cohesive thing to begin with, it was a..sprite thing, combined with two other things in its environment. And now its split into three again, okay, okay, I can follow that I think. The sprite is transformed once the apple is bitten into, or, once the world is destroyed and the players make it past the meteor shower/are isekai’d into the game, kind of. This I can accept, and the  two kernel halves become catalysts for, uh, whatever they become catalysts for.

Anyway, what is left is still part giant jester plushy. I’m straining my memory so hard to remember where the other parts go. What’s below John’s house?? What’s above?? I can’t remember! So we’re gonna ignore it for now.

In favor of a FLASH GAME!! WOOOO HELL YEAH this is the experience I remember!!!

Eternal thank yous to Alexis ‘Gankro’ Beingessner for programming this recreation, it is outstanding. I truly cannot wait for one of the most memorable experiences I had reading Homestuck originally- walking around the land of wind and shade and playing with the salamanders and hearing their stories. I don’t know if the same person will have programmed it but this initial peek into how true to history the unofficial Homestuck collection experience is has made me soooo hype. 

Welcome Nanasprite!! Hoo hoo!

Surely this won’t become relevant in the future. Speaking of the future, all the text cap commands made me think of Karkat automatically, but now that I’ve seen the wayward vagabond twice already, KK has most definitely not gotten in contact with John yet (from johns so-far linear perspective). It’s the fucking mayor! Big fan of that guy. Anyway I just figured that out lmao.

Alright, let’s talk about the latent racism in Homestuck for a moment. It feels too weird to ignore it, but I kind of also don’t want to focus on it, nor do I want to gloss it over, so I’m giving the concept of 2015 internet latent racism a moment here before we move on:

The human characters in Homestuck are all meant to be blank canvases that you could project any skin tone, ethnicity, and any specific facial or body features onto. They don’t have voices, so accents and languages I feel are also totally up to the audience! This much is pretty widely embraced in the fandom, I think. With this in mind, much of the language used by Dave for example might be easily excused if you decide he is a young black kid.

However, the author is white. And Hussie wrote these things, and some of it definitely feels off. Like “an especially ethnic wedding”. This doesn’t feel like it’s based on respect and experience. All the Obama jokes- many of which are fine and hilarious, many of which are not fine or funny, and some of which are disrespectful and also hilarious- stand out in 2023. While the internet was a different place and language evolves at lightning speed, as someone who read it at a young age while it was being actively written and posted: It felt uncomfortable in 2015, too. 

That’s all I really want to say. I’ll hold space for the uncomfortable feeling some of these lines create, without overshadowing the rest of the story. It sure does make the genius of this webcomic a whole lot more human, though.

Tone shift:

Oh? Interesting. Surely this won’t become relevant in the future.

Remember when I said I’d talk more about the game (SBURB in this case) choosing children to receive copies and attempt a session? When that happens horrorterrors are involved, so I’ll expand on them there, too.

Holy shit! I had no idea the window thing was planted so early! This is the kind of re-read revelation I wanted.

“April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain.” -American sports legend, Charles Barkley

[T.S. Elliot said that.]

Also, still topical. Good thing I got back to this before April was completely over.

Yooo, D-O-Double-G!

Wait. Is that long time fan favorite, David Elizabeth Strider?

Yes.

Hell Yes.

Hell Fucking Yes.

tl;dr

Never expect consistency from Kells. Kells very much enjoys Rose <3 but is still learning her level of vocabulary. The secrets of the kernelsprite continue to elude Kells. [Interlude to acknowledge problematic source content]. Many things happen that will surely not be significantly relevant in the future.

[anchoeritic]

her legs all spread out for me, ankles resting on my back while i’m tongue deep into the place where she needs me most. i could almost hear her whines through the pillow, her cries for me as her thighs continue to tremble on each side of my head.