#【 ❝ i'll never stop complaining and that's a promise ❞ 】 ✕ ooc.

[rifleseye]

i gotta replace some of my tags

[exilegend]

Quantum Mechanics and Other Entanglements

Word Count: 858

“I have a new theory,” Osiris says after chewing through his food.

Saint looks up at him from across their table and sees an all too familiar look in his eyes. It puts him at ease. He might not always understand Osiris’s more esoteric studies but that doesn't mean he dislikes hearing him talk about it.

“Quantum entanglement,” he starts and Saint already knows he’ll be lost, “was theorized in a pre-Traveler Earth, and was further studied when the Traveler changed Mars’ landscape from dust to paradise. For example, prior to the Traveler they couldn’t figure out how a second photon’s polarization matched the first photon’s they measured when information cannot travel faster than light. There is a level of randomness that feeds into it. They only knew that it was simply a counterintuitive law they couldn’t fully comprehend. In a post Traveler world, scientists reasoned this was paracausality at work.”

Osiris has set his fork aside, talking animatedly with his hands. Saint smiles to himself and keeps this moment close to his heart. Geppetto would probably be able to explain this in a simple way when he asks later.

For now, he lets Osiris ramble.

“But they still couldn’t pinpoint what, exactly, was paracausal about it. Only that even at such a distance, the photons reacted in a pair, their polarization matching. Experiments proved that they were entangled, just not how.”

Saint hums an affirmation that he’s listening as he watches Osiris separate his food into two parts, splitting them. He holds up one piece of chicken for Saint to see, “I’ve just split this chicken,” then he holds up the other, “though they are now separated, Bell’s theorem would dictate that they would have the same polarization even though they are not whole and at a distance.”

“Ah. Like you and I.” Says Saint after a moment of staring.

A tender smile crosses Osiris’s face and Saint grins. “I suppose.”

After a moment he sets the torn chicken aside, “But, I have a theory. The answer to this bizarre phenomena. It’s very possible that the missing link is Strand. Strand has always existed, has always woven all living things together. But why stop at living? Why not particulates and photons and neutrons? Quarks and leptons? Strand opens a whole new door to understanding fundamental laws of physics. It will change science as we know it forever. In a way, Strand could be the proof to the hypothesis of string theory. The scientists in Neomuna have such refined technology and practices I may have to consult them about experimenting with it.”

Saint laughs, “Hah! Jealous of their facilities?” 

Osiris huffs and rolls his eyes. “I’m simply appreciating their work… though… I worry at times they view my work as though I were an infant playing with toys. The City is so far behind advancement-wise I feel like a relic.”

“Bah, nonsense. You worry too much what other people think of you. I do not understand you half the time, I am certain there are those in Neomuna who have hard time keeping up with you.”

“Stroking my ego, Saint?”

“Only stating fact. But… if it strokes your ego, then who am I to complain? I like confident men.”

“Ah.” Osiris’s eyes flit to the side. Let it never be known that the Great Osiris is easily flustered. 

Saint chuckles, a deep and rich sound bubbling from his chest. They sit in companionable silence for a moment more, Osiris’s shoulders relaxing imperceptibly so. Just enough to let Saint know he is at ease. 

“I am glad to have you back, my love.” Saint reaches out his hand across the table, searching for familiarity he has sorely needed. Osiris, in turn, reaches back, and his heart clenches when he feels his warm and worn hand in his. It is not cold, disconnected.

This is Osiris.

Osiris squeezes his hand.

“You seem to enjoy your time in Neomuna. If I did not know better I would think you want to live there.”

Osiris lets out a half-laugh half-scoff, though he can see the thoughtful look that briefly crosses his face. “No. No… The City needs you.”

“It needs you as well.”

“Perhaps…”

“It does,” he says with finality. This time he does not allow room for Osiris to argue, this time he does not allow this second photon to leave him miles away. 

“I… Yes. Right.”

“I am here, Osiris, as is Ikora, and everyone who cares very much for you. You will not run away this time.”

Osiris looks at their entangled fingers. “It will… take me time. To feel comfortable here. There is still so much heartache the City has left me.”

Saint takes his hand to his lipless mouth, kissing between each knuckle. “It is not a lost cause, my love. In the meantime… I want you to enjoy your time in Neomuna. Your young strider friend looks up to you very much.”

He looks up from his lover’s hand to see an ease upon his face. “There’s more to my theory I wish to speak about, if you are willing to listen.”

“Always willing for you.”

[warcost]

i've also got a new interest checker. with this . i sleep .

[marvelfilth]

Wisdom teeth

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x f!reader

Warnings: ooc! Wednesday, mention of blood

Summary: "I've been successful at keeping this piece of information to myself for the past two months and twelve days, but now it seems that I can't hold back the words from escaping my treacherous mouth. It's almost as if I have no control of what is going through my brain at the moment. I feel like an adolescent cliché."

Masterlist

She doesn't say anything when you help her to the passenger seat of your car, her eyes stay rooted on the spot above your shoulder, dark and unblinking. She sits dutifully and doesn't complain when you bend to fasten her seatbelt, your warm fingers barely grazing her clothed thigh on accident. You think you heard a slightest hitch of her throat, but that might have been your wishful thinking.

Ever since the brooding brunette first stepped foot on Nevermore grounds you were irrevocably pulled in her orbit, always close enough to be seen by her, but never close enough to reach out and touch, not that you'll ever try, you do need all of your fingers intact. Her menacing aura and Machiavellian tendencies never stopped you from trying to reach out and form some sort of connection, even if it was just making eye contact in dark hallways or receiving nearly unperceivable eye rolls whenever Enid dragged you to their room. Not even once in the months you've known her did she grace you with more than a few words and barely noticeable nods, opting to focus on her novel or, in extreme cases, leaving the room to continue her endless investigations.

So when Enid cornered you in the morning and practically begged you to take Wednesday to the dentist's office, you were torn between crushing Enid in a hug and fleeing to the woods to hide out.

In the end, you couldn't miss the chance to get to know the gothic girl a little bit better.

Wednesday pointedly clears her throat and you jump up, bumping your head against the roof of your car, close the door and make your way to the driver's seat.

You suppose her impatience to get back to school makes sense with how overstuffed her mouth seems at the moment, and once you're finally behind the wheel you reach over the console to gently swab away droplets of blood on her lips.

She stops breathing altogether.

"Are you alright, Wednesday?" You can't help, but ask, your hand awkwardly hovering over the console.

She takes a moment to think and you have to pinch yourself to make sure you're not dreaming when you practically see gears turning in her head as she struggles to formulate a response, her brows crinkled and lips slightly pursed.

"Your archive. Are we going there now?" She asks.

And there's that.

She refused anesthesia, looking eager to go through all the pain, her eyes shining brighter than you've ever seen. The doctor blanched, stuttering while he tried to reason with her, mentioning how agonizing the pain will be and how he'll probably get fired if he agreed to do it.

It made your skin crawl.

You pulled her away before she could threaten the poor man, promising her anything she wanted if listened to the doctor and agreed to anesthesia.

Her eyes flickered to your hand on her shoulder before she looked back at the sweating man, her eyes narrowing slightly.

You held your breath, looking at her with wide eyes, already regretting your offer, but all she asked for was unlimited access to your family archive.

You suppose her request made sense, given your family's history and her unwavering interest in all things unknown, but it still made your heart clench with an unbidden feeling you'd never name out loud.

"No, we're going back to school. I told you I'll take you there over summer, remember?" You patiently reply, subtly eyeing the grumpy brunette.

She huffs, wincing when it causes her pain and turns to look out the window, her eyes slightly hazy.

You take a deep breath and finally pull out from the parking lot, driving in silence and keeping your eyes firmly on the road until you can no longer pretend like you don't feel her heavy gaze on you.

"What is it, Wednesday?"

"Your face."

You blanch, offended. "What about it?"

You don't think you'll be able to withstand her making fun of your looks. She doesn't seem like the type to do that, but you can't be too sure - she is acting rather out of character.

"It's distracting. Turn around." She demands, furrowing her brows.

Your jaw falls open. "Wednesday, I'm driving."

She huffs and crosses her arms. After a minute of contemplation she starts rummaging through your glove compartment.

"Don't," you groan. You won't let her tear you apart for the mess she'll undoubtedly find there, so you reach for your phone. "Why don't you play a game? Or, I don't know, find something to blackmail me with?" You unlock it and toss it on her lap, your hand falling back on the wheel, clutching it in a tight grip.

Your phone lays untouched for a long moment and you have to restrain yourself from looking over at the ravenette. It's the longest you've spent in her company and she most certainly said more words in the past ten minutes than she did in all the time you've known her, and Enid didn't prepare you for conversations.

Your palms start to sweat a little.

She looks down at her lap and picks up your phone with two fingers only to throw it on the backseat. "I'm allergic to technology," she deadpans.

She stays silent for the next few minutes and you relax, thanking every divine being for making this trip somewhat easy for you.

And that's when she turns to look back at you, her expression sour and displeased, like you just said something really dumb. You decide to ignore her for as long as you can, checking your blind spots and fiddling with the radio to seem busy.

She pointedly clears her throat, pulling your attention. You sigh and look at her.

"What now?"

She frowns. "I feel compelled to reveal something you might find… unwelcome." Her mumble comes out distorted and she winces slightly, her hand coming up to cradle her swollen cheek and you swiftly slap it away, sheepishly looking away at her affronted look.

"Don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Usually, slapping ones hand causes them pain," she retorts, fully turning in her seat to face you. "You slapped my hand. That hurt. Not that I didn't enjoy it, but I prefer to inflict pain, not receive it."

You snort, shaking your head at the smaller girl and she pouts. Wednesday Addams, the girl who'd rather jump off a cliff in a river full of piranhas than show an ounce of human emotion, pouts.

But maybe it's not so strange, considering the circumstances.

You adjust in your seat, your right hand landing on your thigh to subtly fiddle with the rough fabric of your jeans. They're light blue, with flowers all over their back pockets and Wednesday absolutely hates them, which is why, you guess, she's currently staring down at your legs like they're her mortal enemies.

The tips of her ears turn red.

"Must you do that?" She hisses, gesturing to your hand on your thigh.

You blink and place it back on the wheel, noting the way her eyes snap up to glare at the road.

"Are you feeling okay?" You ask, because she's starting to look restless. Her fingers clench and unclench on her lap and she keeps glancing at your hand every couple of seconds.

"No." Her eyes snap up to look at the roof of your car, her face a picture of impatience. "Hold my hand."

You gulp, breath catching in your throat and turn to look at the smaller girl just in time to catch her boring holes into your hand and probe lightly at her cheeks. Your mouth opens to stutter a response, but her scathing look makes you shut up.

"This gauze in my mouth feels terrible, I can't possibly endure it a moment longer. Holding your hand will make the feeling bearable." She looks at you expectantly, turning over her hand on her lap, waiting.

You hesitantly reach out and take her hand. She laces your fingers, letting out a quiet sigh as she sags against the weathered leather, turning to look out the window.

You can't believe this is happening.

This Wednesday is not something you're equipped to deal with. Hell, you can barely manage her regular self, which still comes hard at times, especially when you intrude on her writing time. It's not like you mean to do that, but a certain blonde always chooses that exact hour to invite you over, always wearing a mischievous smirk when Wednesday tenses up upon your arrival.

This feels like walking on thin ice at gunpoint with a ticking bomb in your hands.

"How-"

Her nails dig into your skin hard enough to make you yelp, but you don't pull away, eyeing the stewing girl. She's breathing heavily, her lips opening and closing as she seemingly tries to keep herself from blurting something out.

It's so bizarre you have an urge to pinch yourself, but you don't need that with her nails still digging into your skin.

You focus on the road, afraid to stir the dragon.

Her next words make you jolt so hard the car wavers on the road.

"Every time my eyes land on you my heart skips a beat," she says, like she's complaining about a mystery she couldn't solve.

You grip the steering wheel tighter. "What?"

"One does not typically pay attention to such mundane thing, but I do. Whenever you're in my vicinity I can't help, but be aware of each skipped beat of my heart. The feeling is revolting, and I've had the urge to confess this ever since I woke up." She frowns, and it's quiet for a few minutes as she seemingly gathers her thoughts.

The moment you had in your art shed suddenly comes to mind. You went there after a long day of studying in the library, ready to decompress and finish your latest painting. You didn't expect anyone to be there, which is why you shrieked like a maniac when you flicked the lights on, basking Wednesday's rigid form in warm yellow glow. She stood over your painting, her features stony and unreadable as her fingers traced the outline of a shipwreck on the canvas, the still wet paint smudging her fingers and messing up your precise strokes.

It made the painting even more beautiful.

You dug around your backpack, looking for tissues, taking a step closer when you finally found some. With great hesitance, you reached for her hand, your fingers closing around her delicate wrist. Her lips parted as she inhaled, her pulse erratic under your thumb. She took one look at you, turned on her heel and left, her perfume lingering in the air.

You gulp, when her grip on your hand turns painful. "I've been successful at keeping this piece of information to myself for the past two months and twelve days, but now it seems that I can't hold back the words from escaping my treacherous mouth. It's almost as if I have no control of what is going through my brain at the moment. I feel like an adolescent cliché," she complains through gritted teeth, irritated.

Your face burns the same shade as the red light you've come to stop at. You don't know if you should feel ecstatic or fear for your life, because no matter what happens next, you're sure Wednesday will have your head for witnessing a rare moment of weakness. But your heart always had more power than your head, so you're left with trembling hands and sweaty palms, choking on your breath as you struggle to think of something to say.

"Wednesday, I'm going to have a heart attack," you mumble.

"You're not showing any signs of an impending heart attack, if anything, your symptoms correlate with something Enid usually calls having a crush." She's back to staring intently at you, catching every twitch of the muscles on your face as you try your best to keep your blush at bay. Her hand slides up, enclosing your wrist.

Your heart burns in your chest and you feel the need to correct her, to tell her that what you feel for her is more than some stupid crush. You need to tell her about the way your dark wings tingle when she brushes past you, begging to be released from the confinement of your spine. You need to tell her about the way your heart beats out a special rhythm, hammering against your ribs like a caged animal, desperately leading its owner to the girl who successfully stole it.

You need to tell her how easy it was to fall for her and how hard it got when you realized the extent of your feelings.

You need to tell her something, anything.

You need to tell her everything.

A loud honk jostles you and you look back at the road to keep driving, trying your best to hide your face when a car passes by you, the driver giving you a finger.

"Imbecile," Wednesday mumbles.

"Yeah, what an asshole."

"I meant you. The gesture was entirely appropriate seeing as you failed to pay attention to your surroundings."

"Huh?" You gape. "You're insulting me now?"

"Your observation skills never cease to amaze me," she frowns in thought, "just like your remarkable ability to make my existence less bothersome." The haze in her eyes is gone, replaced by reserve and a hint of fondness.

Your brain short circuits.

You pull over and let your forehead fall against the wheel, still holding it in a death grip.

You would never admit it to anyone, not even on your deathbed, but you swear you feel butterflies erupt in your stomach at her quiet confession.

Your smile is so wide it hurts your cheeks, but you don't care as long as Wednesday keeps looking at you like that, like she's trying her best at keeping away the warmth in her eyes. They flicker to your lips when you lick them, and this time she can't keep her emotions in check, her eyes alight with fiery passion.

You can't help voicing your concern. "I thought you didn't like me that much. I mean, you barely speak to me when Enid drags me to your dorm."

She looks at you for a long moment. Her thumb circles your knuckle. "Enid has a surprisingly perceptive eye. She noticed a certain change in my behavior long before I did and decided to act on it. I simply wasn't prepared."

"Are you prepared now?" You breathe out.

"Are you?"

You let out a relieved laugh, and pull her hand up to your lips, placing a soft kiss on her ice cold knuckle. "Wednesday, I've been pining over you since the day we met."

She lets out a barely noticeable breath and you suddenly realize she's been nervous all this time too, you just failed to pay attention in your anxiety riddled state.

"Good." The corners of her mouth fly up.

Your eyes widen. She has dimples.

She turns away nonchalantly and places your intertwined hands on her lap, looking like she just solved the biggest mystery known to mankind.

[the-fandom-therapist]

(YEP I'M ALREADY DONE, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO

As promised, I'm tagging you @ultimateplaylistmaker x) Hope you will enjoy it!

This is my interpretation of their "alicorn Kokichi AU" check it out everyone it's awesome!

It's crack taken seriously btw, I put way too many details and changes, I hope you'll still like it!

Also apologies if anyone is OOC, I never wrote about MLP before x)

That's the first part, mainly Kokichi's, I'll write more about the others! -I stopped because Tumblr was struggling to show all of it lmao, I think I've reach the characters limit-

Death is a bitch.

Wait, no. Death is a dude. Well, bastard then.

The terms of their deal were SIMPLE! He beats the god -at poker you morons, he's not stupid enough to challenge the Grim Reaper at chess, one of the oldest games in history, and apparently one of its personal favorites- and him and all the other idiots from the killing game get brought back to life.

(No he's not attached to any of them. Absolutely not. He just added them so he wouldn't get killed again straight away by that damn assassin. Because without the space idiot to restrain her, she would have gone to kill him again. Anyway, not the point.)

And he fucking did, yes sir! Outsmarted the god of death himself, the grim reaper in person! He's amazing like that. Don't try to fuck with a Supreme Leader of Evil!

Anyway. Point is, he won. He tricked the god of death himself to fold on his turn by pure bluff.

And that was the condition: if he could trick death itself to fold, to give up while he had nothing, then it could recognize his value. Apparently, Death -or Thanatos if he remembers correctly- likes bold humans, so it -he?- have no problem make an exception from time to time. Under conditions obviously.

He didn't had many humans who tried. So every attempts was a welcomed change from the -apparently- frankly boring existence he had.

Hey, he wasn't about to complain, it helped here.

He grabbed his scarf -how the hell did he had it with him when he died without it, no clue, but again let's not look a gift horse in the mouth shall we?- and thought of his team. He'll see them soon.

He was already starting to feel weird. Like he was being sucked out of his own... body? Probably Death doing his thing.

However, right before things turned to black, he could have sworn he heard a "wait shit-" and saw a panicked expression on the god's face.

Huh. Wonder what that means...

~0o0~

The first thing he registered was the smell.

A foul smell, and one he knew well, considering he'd not always been hanging with DICE in the most sanitary places.

Garbage. his mind helpfully provided.

Wow, fuck you too Death. Really, too much honor!

He scoffed, and started to get up wobbly. Waking up from dying was... weird. His head was killing him -ah!- same for his sides.

When he tried to get up from the ground, he barely made one step before falling back on all four. And...

Wait a second.

WAIT. A. SECOND.

That's not a hand. That's a damn hoof! What the hell?

A quick check up confirmed that yup. He's a horse now. Everything's fine.

Oh and he have wings too. Because why not.

What the hell did Death do?! Wait. Didn't he acted surprised before he passed out?

...Did the god of fucking DEATH made a mistake?

How do you even fuck up that badly? He's human for fuck's sake! Now he's a horse?! (Well technically a pegasus he guesses.)

Alright. Focus Kokichi. Freak out later. Right now you need to know where in the world you are.

At least he still have his scarf. Which... thank god (clearly not Death.) it helps a bit to have something familiar.

Alright. Now that he more or less put himself back under control, he needed to exit that damn alleyway... He could already feel a headache. Gre-

Hold up. There something on his head too.

Great, now what?

...That felt like a... horn or some sort.

What, so he's both a fucking unicorn and a pegasus now? That's a thing?

Does Death have fursonas or...? Actually, that could be an interesting question.

But that's not the time for this.

Right now he needed to hide. He heard voices, and even though he couldn't understand the fuck they were saying -great, he wasn't even in Japan? That wasn't a language he recognized either.- he could hear the dangerous tone they had.

So that's what he did! He bolted under a pile of trash, not caring about the smell. And he saw...

...Are those supposed to be horses too? They... looked like a mix of horse and bugs.

Not thinking of the Insect Meet and Greet. Bad idea. Not thinking of Gonta's execution either. Nope. Not doing that.

They were all black, green big buggy-like eyes and wings... Were those fangs? Yikes. He definitely doesn't want to be seen by them... And they have holes in them? Shouldn't that hurt?

They were speaking. Something he couldn't understand... But they weren't alone.

There were actual horses with them! But wait.

They were clearly prisoners. Uh oh.

Welp, seems he was right to hide! One point for him. But something was a bit weird too.

Some had horns. Some had wings, and some had neither. But none had both, asides from these... insects-horses bad guys.

Alright.

Clearly he's not in Japan (or on Earth at all) and this place is populate with sentients horses. Or ponies, who cares.

They don't seem to be able to have both a horn and wings. Only these creepy bug-horses seem to. And they don't look friendly.

If he want to fit in, he'll need to hide either the wings or the horn. He doesn't want to end up in jail before he can figure a way to go back to his own world.

...The horn would probably be the easiest to hide. He'll just need to lie about why he have something on his head that looks like one.

Easy peasy. He can do this. Hell, he tricked the god of death, he can trick a few horses!

...He'll just need to learn the language. Great.

Also, he needed to find a way to avoid those creepy bug-horses guys. Something tells him that looking like one of their prisoners wouldn't help him there.

But first thing first: find a way to hide that horn. He suppose it's a small mercy that he got thrust in a dumpster. It's easy to find what you want, as long as you know how to look.

Two minutes later he found some sturdy papers and got to work. With hooves it wasn't easy, but he had all the time in the world.

~0o0~

...He's pretty sure he passed a good hour on it. But it was done! It was clearly not in the best condition, but at least it hid the horn efficiently -it was a hassle to put the rubber band around something on his head with hooves, but he did it. It wouldn't do to have his cover getting blown away by the wind!- and would stay in place.

While he was working, he kept hearing some words in particular. They sounded like names?

And it thankfully made him learn that even if he couldn't understand what the FUCK those bug-horses were saying, he could at least understand the normal ponies. (Probably because he's one too.) Phew.

"Celestia" "Cadence" "Chrysalis" were the words he kept hearing in those creepy guys' language. Also there was the same word in front of the first two names, the third one had another word.

Considering the normal horses were calling the first two "princess", he could understand Chrysalis was probably the leader of those bug-horses.

Sounds like girl's names either way, so if the first two were princesses, the last one must be a queen, and probably an enemy if what he was seeing was any indication.

Anyway, that wasn't important. What was, was to find a way to avoid these... bug-horses things. (He's pretty sure he heard the horses -or ponies they were rather small- call them something like "Changelings"? Whatever that means.)

However, when he thought about that, he had an odd feeling. It was like his body was telling him "big thing's coming towards us captain!" And when he went to -discreetly duh- check, he was greeted with a white light which was sweeping those Changelings and send them flying far away from here, leaving the horses alone.

...Well damn. He suppose he didn't had to worry about those now. That's one thing taken cared of.

Now he could use that diversion to get the hell away from here! It was a good time to learn if he could run like this.

Running... to somewhere. Away from this place at least. It have a big castle nearby, and he's going to bet there's a ruler in there. Probably those princesses. And he does NOT want to be near the persons -or horses in that case- that can put him to jail.

Next, he need to find a way to get something to eat. Because he's plently good at picking pockets, but usually he have two human hands for this!

That also leave the problem of figuring the currency... Urgh. All that reasoning hurt his head.

First thing first. Waiting for the night to fall. It's easier to walk in the shadows -even if looked to be a rather light shade of purple- that way. And apparently, there was a wedding going on? Perfect. Everyone will be too busy with that to notice someone hanging around.

Maybe he could steal a few things along the way before buying supplies to perform in the streets and gain more money legally. Because while he doesn't mind stealing, if he get caught he doesn't have his team here to bust him out...

DICE...

Raah, enough self-pity! He have a world to figure out!

With a slap on his face -or rather, a punch...- he started to run forwards. After a few struggles, he was able to run like he didn't learned like, five minutes ago, and he setted off.

~0o0~

The adventage with big cites, was that no matter how odd you may look, nobody will pay enough attention to retain your face. Because why should they? You're just another person passing by.

That's how he successful picked the pockets of a few horses without anyone noticing. Seems like even in this world the riches were dumb! And here he was, worried that with hooves he'd struggle.

He hid his treasure in his scarf. Regrouped the coins in one wallet and-

And holy shit were those gold coins?!

Kokichi knew they looked rich, but he never thought they'd literally carry GOLD on their person like that!

...Something was clearly fishy here. It looked too good to be true.

Aaaaaaaand he was proven right. Goddamnit. Apparently gold didn't had the same value here, if buying only a few pastries costed two or three golden coins!

...He really hoped he could ask the prices directly, because if he have to dicipher any writing he's screwed.

Because apparently, even if he could understand the language, he couldn't read it! Damn it. Back to first grade he goes, having to relearn how to read! Just his luck.

Hmmmm.

Entering a shop and interacting without knowing any of the mannerisms of the ponies would be a bad idea. He was lucky the shops there stayed opened the full night thanks to that wedding (a royal wedding even, damn. One of those princesses?) but if it's to blow his cover, it's stupid.

Maybe he could pretend to be deaf? That could work. He just hope they don't have a sign language here, otherwise he's fucked.

He eyed the shop (it had a jester's hat for a roof. That's clearly the place he needed to go to!) and took a deep breath.

Alright! Time to see if he's as good as an actor as he was when still human!

~0o0~

He pushed the door to be greeted by a cheerful pony behind the counter (he's going to call them ponies because they are seriously smaller than horses, all of them.)

"Welcome, welcome! Are you searching to prank your friends? You are at the right place! We have everything, from fake flowers to- um, boy?"

Well, sorry random pony but he have to pretend he can't hear you. So he just looked at the shelves with a lost expression.

"Um hello?"

Nope.

The cashier was probably puzzled. Eh, sorry. But well, he needs to be safe here!

Once he noticed what he needed, he grabbed the deck of cards -with his teeth, not like he had any other options...- before going to the register. The pony was clearly confused, but he still tried to keep a smile on.

"Ah, found your treasure? It's gonna be two golds!"

Now... Action!

He pretended to be confused for a second. Then he widdened his eyes, before putting a hoof at his ear -that still felt SO weird- and then shook his head.

And thankfully, the cashier seemed to understand, thank fuck.

"Oh! Alright, hold on!"

He went to rumminaged behind the counter and put a paper and a pen. Then he started to doodle two coins, and pointed to the deck of cards.

Alright then! It worked. Phew.

Also, it looked like a gold is really just a golden coin. That's a mystery solved at least. He nodded, before putting the wallet from his scarf, and taking out two coins that he put on the counter.

He got a bag out of this, and his deck of cards.

And a bunch of informations too. Apparently ponies are way less ableists than humans! That guy literally went "alright please wait" when he pretended to be deaf.

He grinned. Oh he's going to abuse of it so much.

Now though, he had a stand to settle... But later.

He's tired, and he's been there for a long time. The day was even not so long away from rising, so he thinks he should settle for the night.

Since he can keep the deaf act, he could probably find a room. Probably. If not, he'll just find a dark corner and sleep there. Not the first time he slept outside after all!

~0o0~

Finding a room was easy. So yay for him!

Falling asleep on the other hand, was not.

Let's put asides the few attempts he had to do to find a comfortable position as a pony to lay into okay. Their bed weren't different from humans, and it wasn't that hard.

However, sleep meant nightmares for him.

Really, that was expected. He struggled enough to sleep on a daily basis -what do you know, killing games are bad for your mental health! Shocker. Who would have guessed- so with the whole mess that happened with his death, that was even worse.

Everytime he closed his eyes, it's to reopen them in the hangar. And while being human again would be great, reviving his own death isn't synonym of good dreams.

He gave up sleeping after three times waking up in cold sweat. But hey, apparently that was enough sleep so the sun that was starting to rise was already really high! So midday, or later then that.

He payed for the room and left. Now, to find a place far enough from that town...

~0o0~

He travelled by night, slept in the day, and gathered as much informations as possible.

Apparently the kingdom as a whole was called Equestria -damn really no inspiration uh- and that Celestia princess was ruling over it in the big castle he saw at Canterlot (the capital then) with her little sister Luna. Both responsible for the sun and moon respectively.

Okay so appareltly the celestial bodies aren't moving without help here. All the work of magic. Even the weather was controlled by pegasi.

Actually, maybe he can try to learn how to fly while he's at it, that'd be fun. It's not because he's stuck here -preferably temporary, looking at you Death!- that he can't have a bit of fun while he's at it.

He wonders if that include the others too.

Wait shit.

The others.

They are going to have his head if they learned they'd be brought back as fucking ponies because of him. (In his defense he never wanted that, it's Death's fault!)

But to avoid suspicion on himself, he'd had to also cover their asses. Great. Let's see.

He'll just explain -once he settled somewhere- that him and a group of others were kept prisoners by those Changelings. And when they attacked Canterlot, they brought him and the others with them, to use as hostages if they get caught before they could carry out their plan.

They'd been raised by them, away from ponies since they were toddlers so they don't even have "pony names" (he realized the names here were fucking cheesy, nothing like Japanese names) and now they're just completely lost. And if the others were talking about things that didn't made sense, it was for that reason.

Yup, sounds good! With a few fake tears it'll do the trick perfectly. Now, he just need to find an isolated place to settle.

Also maybe picking a name along the way too. That'd be a good idea to blend in.

Oh wait, does he have to pick one for the others too? He hope not.

Anyway, for now he needed to concentrate on himself first.

~0o0~

...He'd made a HUGE mistake.

He was -apparently, if the ponies' words were to believe- close to a little town called Ponyville (do they really have no inspiration for the names? Come on guys!) so he had decided to shift his sleeping schedule to actual night since he was pretty close.

"Not like that would change much about my dreams" he thought.

Ah! He couldn't have been more wrong.

The nightmare started the same. The usual deaths, and executions, before his-

But when the press was about to come down, he felt something... different.

Pure white energy -that he could recognize as magic now- completely wipe out the hangar out of existence.

Now he was just... In uh... Space? The spaceman'd be thrilled.

He was on a path made of light blue light and white dots... The same thing that was everywhere.

There were doors too, the hell?

"Whomst in Equestria's name art thou?!"

Uh oh.

He turned around -he's so damn glad that in dreams he's human...- and is greeted by-

Wait what?

That's a dark blue mare -definitely taller than most ponies- with... weird space floaty mane.

But the most important thing is that she had both a horn and wings!

How is that possible? He thought only those Changelings guys could-

Wait.

Waaaaaait a minute.

She had what looked to be a crown. And she had a moon... tattoo? On her flank.

Is that the fucking princess of the moon? What is SHE doing here?! Also, how is that possible that she also got both wings and horn-

Oh. Oh no.

That's a fucking status isn't it? Having both. Normal ponies either have one of the two, or neither. Having both must mean being royalty.

...Yeah no. He's keeping that horn HIDDEN. He want to be able to leave this world, not being bond here by duties!

(Besides, the only people he want to lead are his minions. No one else.)

No wonder ponies were looking at him weird! That's like pretending to be royalty!

Let's hope it's not a crime... Wait, if it was he would have been arrested already.

Fuck.

"Answer us!"

Oh whoops. He forgot the princess was still here.

"Gotta go, bu-bye!"

He needs to wake up. He have to. He can't stay here. He have to!

He doesn't know how, he doesn't why, but he successfully woke up after everything around him turned purple.

Now. Now let's think.

He needed to avoid getting the attention of the princess. Considering she didn't intervene until now, he assume that it's because she's only walking in dreams in the night -make sense for the moon princess to be up in the night.

So... He need to keep the noctural schedule. Sleeping in the day, to avoid her. And if he can't, then he need to keep her at bay.

But considering he doesn't know how to use magic, he's going to focus on the first option.

To be able to use magic, he needs training. And to train, he needs books -no way in hell he's asking for help after learning all that mess about royalty- and to be able to understand those books he need to learn how to read.

A hell of a program he have in front of him. Oh well, at least it's gonna keep him busy.

Alright. He needed to go now.

To that town he goes! While expecting to not draw attention.

~0o0~

He arrived at the border of it. There was a rather small and cozy looking cottage here, surrounded by forest. It was midday, the pony probably wasn't hom-

His thoughts were cut off by a high-pitched scream. Probably a girl's voice.

...Great, what now? A scene like this would be hard to settle-

...

There was a yellow pegasus. Pink mane, who was protecting herself (assuming she was the one who screamed) from a bulky earth pony (that's how those who have no wings nor horn were called right?)

The earth pony was really tall, like, two heads more than Kokichi himself. Light green color, dark green tangled mane...

Wait a minute. WAIT A DAMN FUCKING MINUTE.

Red eyes with round glasses, and a bug cage warped around its neck.

It's-

"Gonta so sorry! Gonta not meant to scare horse!"

"GONTA!"

Wow, go him. Yelling his name like that and sprinting in their direction.

That at least got both of their attention. So there's that.

Gokuhara was looking at him with pure confusion. Probably didn't recognized him, which was fair. He was a fucking pony for fuck's sake.

"Uh? Does Gonta know you, horse? Gonta sorry, doesn't know horse with wings..."

"Geez, thanks a lot. he huffed. Can't recognize your leader? So mean! How could you forget about me? he started to sniffled. You're breaking my heart! How could you?!"

The theatrics were apparently enough.

"K-Kokichi?"

"At last! he said, raising a hoof. That's me alright."

"Kokichi is a horse."

"Pony technically, pegasus to be more exact. And you're one too."

"But Gonta die-"

"About that! he cut him off. We need to talk in private. Bu-bye yellow pegasus, sorry for the scare!"

He grabbed Gonta's bug cage's strap and pulled to make the other follow him in a recluse place.

Once far enough, he sighed.

"Alright, just hear me out. I know you're confused as hell, me too. Maybe even mad at me about what happened in the game, I won't blame you for that. But we have other things to worry about: we're not in our world, I think you noticed as much."

"People are horses." nodded Gonta with a serious expression.

"They call themselves ponies, but yeah. There's no human here. There's no killing game either. Monokuma doesn't exist. The Academy either. This world... is more or less peaceful."

"No killing game? he softly asked. No Monokuma?"

"Nope. Nothing. And... Considering we're both here, I'd say everyone who died is also here. Though to find them is going to be complicated..."

The leader pondered for a second. How could they find everyone? It would be best if everyone wasn't far away from each other, if Death comes back for them -and he better!- it'd be quicker to be send back.

"Kokichi died?"

Oh wait. Oops. Right, he forgot Gonta wouldn't know.

"Yup! Right after you in fact. Anyway, not the point-"

"Did Monokuma also punished Kokichi?"

Uh? Why is he asking that?

Oh.

Everyone... Please stop blaming Kokichi now.

...He's still too kind.

"Nope. Maki killed me. he paused. Or rather Kaito. Eh, one of the two. I don't know what finished me off. he shook his hoof. Anyway, not the point. I died, and Kaito also died probably because he was sick. Meaning, everyone who died before you, plus Kaito and myself are probably here."

"E-Everyone?"

"Yup. But we need to recognize them -wouldn't be too hard probably...- and find a cover story."

"Cover story?"

"This world doesn't have a killing game Gonta. That means, if we tell them what happened to us, they won't understand, and that'll bring us problems."

"Oh. Gonta understand. But Gonta doesn't want to lie to them... They look nice."

"Good thing I'm here! Leave the lying part to me. I'm a liar after all! Also we need new names. Because names here aren't like ours. If we want to blend in... Just leave it to me okay?"

The giant just nodded.

The leader just nodded back, before returning to the cottage. Let's hope she's still here and uh... Not freaking out.

~0o0~

...Uh oh.

She called her friends apparently. There were five new ponies all around her. Two unicorns, another pegasus and two earth ponies.

"Hey you two! How dare you scare Fluttershy like that!" yelled the blue pegasus.

"Ah! Gonta sorry! Gonta didn't meant to scare pony!"

Well, here goes the enthomologist, apologizing again. But Kokichi's not going to play that card. He put a hoof in front of the giant and frowned.

"Don't apologize, we don't know if they aren't with them!"

Cue confusion. That's what he want to see!

"W-With them?"

"You know how they are! They can change appearance at will and pretend they're your friend!"

Not a lie. The mastermind was -if what Death told him was true- a master of disguise. The Ultimate Cosplayer after all. And the ponies would probably think of the changelings, which is what he wants.

"Hey! Are you saying we're changelings!"

"And what if I am uh? he grinned. Don't like having the truth in your face?"

"H-Hey now."

Oh? The purple unicorn stopped the blue pegasus. Seems like he found the leader of that little group.

"We aren't changelings. We swear on Celestia's name!"

"And how can we believe you uh? You could be lying!"

There. That was the cue for Gonta normally...

"They don't smell like changelings..." he mumbled.

"You should listen to your friend! We're not changelings! We fought them!"

Now, to pretend to be hesitant.

"Are you sure?" he asked the enthomologist.

Gonta nodded, and he pretended to scratch his head -while leaving the papers around his horn alone- with confusion.

"I think we all started on the wrong hoof. gently said the purple one. You are at Ponyville, you're safe! There's no changelings here."

"Why did you thought there were some in the first place? Changelings don't live here. We kicked their butts not so long ago!"

"Rainbow Dash! You're not helping. she smiled at them. Sorry about my friend, she's very straightforwards. How about we talk somewhere else, around pastries?"

"Oh oh! the pink one started to jump happily. I'll go prepare them! I'll be right back!"

And she left... by jumping? Why not.

Alright.

Time to bluff the hell out of this conversation.

~0o0~

...It had been stupidly easy. He explained to them that Gonta and him were part of a group of ponies who got abducted when they were toddlers by changelings, got raised by them, humiliated, turned around each other et cetera... Got brought along at the assault on Canterlot, and since the white energy who yeeted the changelings didn't hurt them, they ended up here, and don't know what to do or where to go.

That's how he learned that the wedding that took place was the purple one's (Twilight Sparkle apparently. Still cheesy, yup.) brother's, and they were here, and were also fighting the changelings.

And apparently that wave of magic was from the love between the bride and groom.

Ew. They didn't ended up at Equestria, they ended up at "Cheesy Land". But he still noted the information.

When they asked about why the hell he got a fake horn, he explained that it was to be less beaten by changeling. After all, they have both horn and wings, so he thought if he looked like them they would leave him alone. Not that it worked. -The fact that it was curved helped his story. But come to think of it why is his curved and not everyone else's? Not even the princesses' are curved. Weird.) Now though he just keep it because it's the symbol of the princesses and that's pretty cool! After all it was one of them that indirectly freed him and the others from the changelings' grasp. He's pretending to be like them! (they had no idea how true that statement was.)

That was way too easy to make them believe that with fake tears. Even Gonta tried to comfort him even though he knew it was fake (though it was probably to make it more believable. Gonta is a lot of things, but an idiot isn't one of them.)

"But then... You don't have names?" asked the other unicorn -Rarity if he remembers correctly.

"We have the ones the changelings gave us. he said, wiping the tears with his hoof. Mine's Kokichi Oma. he pointed to Gonta. His is Gonta Gokuhara. But those aren't real ponies' names."

"That's true..." Twilight seemed thoughtful.

"Oh oh! Maybe we can pick some for you!" the pink one said, with a smile that reminded him a bit too much of Angie.

"...I'd prefer choosing my own thanks."

"Of course! Pinkie, let them chose... Once it's done, we'll ask the mayor to put you in the records." Twilight said.

"That'd be nice. Also... If you find someone with a weird name, that's probably a friend of ours."

Not really true, but he needed to find those idiots as quickly as possible.

"I'll pass the word at Clousdale!"

Aaaaaand the blue one was already gone.

"I'll ask around the farm if anyone saw a lost pony." the orange one nodded, tipped her hat and left.

"I'll send a letter at Princess Celestia too. the purple unicorn nodded towards the... dragon? at her side. In the meantime, do you have ideas of names? Also, what are your talents?"

Talents? That's easy- oh wait.

"What do you mean by talent?" he asked, raising a hoof to stop Gonta from talking.

Translation: is that the same thing as their Ultimates?

"Oh. Yeah, I suppose the changelings wouldn't do that... she mumbled to herself. Something you are really good at? You both have your cutie marks so..."

What the fuck is that now. (Also, cheesy, the return.)

"Oh! Gonta is an enthomologist!"

He saw Fluttershy -that's her name right?- perking up from behind Rarity.

"Oh that's great! she turned towards him. And you?"

"I guess you can call me a trickster. he smirked. I prank people. And trick them. a pause. Mainly changelings though."

A lie but hey.

"If Gonta's talent is "Enthomology" you could call mine "tricky dice"." he shrugged.

But that question of names... He needed to find one. And Gonta too.

"Hey Gonta, how about "Baron Buzz" for you? Sounds good?"

"Oh! Gonta not mind this. Gonta likes it!"

"Well, that's settled then. Mine now..."

He think again.

Let's see their situation.

He got attributs that could get him royal duties, which is problematic. He needs to hide it...

He made a deal with Death and no one need to know about that. To get everyone back to life, but also to fuck with miss mastermind too while he's at it.

He grinned.

"Call me Royal Collusion then!"

That's when both Rainbow Dash and the farmer came back.

"I found a pegasus that looks really lost, and he calls himself Kaito... something."

"I found a small guy that call himself Ryoma!" added the other.

Oh. Well that was quick.

"They're with us alright. You're coming Gonta? Let's get Ryoma back first."

"Hm hm!"

First they get the depressed tennis player back, then the astridiot.

Welp, they got a pretty nice program ahead of them it seemed.

"Then let's go."

[whcwashe]

hm

anyway

you ever run into a situation where like .... someone you've been mutuals with for years, LIKE YEARS, who you've always had a good relationship with (or at least you thought you did, idk), just like ....

unfollows you on One of their blogs. Just one. And that's suddenly the only blog they use. And sure, it COULD be a mistake, because every once in awhile when someone reblogs your promo .... they'll reblog it as well?

But similarly .... they should be able to see on the dash that they're not following you. And they're pretty explicit about only interacting with mutuals. And it's defs not a sideblog. And you can't be like 'hey, is this a mistake?' or even be like 'hey, what happened?' because people can cater their experience here, they have the right to do that. and they have the right to unfollow you, and you're all adults here, and this is just for fun, so cornering them for any reason would be wrong, and also rude.

So you just have to settle with the idea that they just .... decided they were tired of you, or didn't like your writing or something and just quietly ..... left. And it feels like a whole friendship you had just kind of dies on the vine, because if you're not on their dash, and you can't interact without disrespecting their boundaries, then that friendship is just .... gone. No closure, no goodbye, it just stops.

idk, it's just sad, in a way, I guess. I mean, people just decide they don't like you and disappear sometimes, and that's fair on their part. That's the way the world works. Sometimes relationships, as vague as they may be, just stop. And I feel like, as an adult, I should be able to brush that off, but it still feels kind of upsetting. Especially because I know it has to be something I did, and I'll never be able to adjust that, or find out what it was. So I just kind of assume it to be me, in general. The whole package is bad, I guess.

I am also stuck in a rut because I know my writing is repetitive, and boring. And Liv isn't fleshed out, and she's not creative, and frankly -- I'm not a great communicator OOC either. I'm distracted, and I'm flighty, and I complain a lot, and I'm regularly just the worst. And I make people feel unwanted (I don't mean to do that, I promise. I love each and every one of you, and I mean that so strongly, I wouldn't follow you if I didn't enjoy your writing. I just love the shit out of everyone, and their creativity).

I should try to be better, probably. And I shouldn't blame my standoffishness on anxiety and ADHD -- I mean, I do have those, but I also need to take responsibility for having a shitty personality, you feel?

I don't know where I was going with this, I'm just in my feelings, and I'm sorry about ... me, as a person, in general. This is not fishing for compliments, I just can't stop talking now, and tbh I have no where else to dump these feelings, lmao. I should have put it on a blog with less followers, maybe. Except -- if you do read it, I do want to express that I love you, and you are all so creative, and you should be so so proud of what you put out into the world. And I should really say that directly to people more often.

Ok, that's all, I guess.

[ourbareanatomy]

Closure

It always aren’t about closure but the promises made in between. The promise of forever. When the words fade away that’s when you should know that it wasn’t ever meant to be; but somewhere someone is waiting for you. To make that promise last forever. 

- Bare Anatomy

[olyteus]

uhhh little update: destiny just released a bunch of new lore and my gay lil autistic brain is hyperfocusing on it HARDCORE, so my presence here will remain fairly sparse

[rifleseye]

Like this post and I'll get around to DMing you about throwing around ideas for a plotted out thread !

[exilegend]

WHAT FLAVOR IS YOUR SOUL

vanilla

oh heart of ice and mind of gold, what am I to do with you? you are only good in small amounts, bittersweet fledgling, you are hard for most to swallow. your spirit is strong, your wit is potent, your biting essence drives even the most daring away. but why are you hiding your sweetness? I know within you, you are soft, but humanity has made you bitter. you mask your pain and sorrow with spite and sensibility. you say you do not care about trivial things, but don't you? sweetheart relax. you can let down your drawbridge, the waters are not poisoned. I know you have looked monsters in between the eyes and scoffed at them, but please, relax. you think your armor protects you but it is smothering you slowly. little owlet, when will you learn, words can only get you so far? feelings are what makes this world pulse. do not suppress your feelings. your heart can still thaw my dear. trust.

TAGGED. @rustrage​ TAGGING.

[exeomori-m]

uh.

[fomorias]

i am free at last from my own personal hell (but healing still) so maybe like for a starter

[warcost]

starter call? spare starter call?

[chasestars]

i’m like. Incapable of rping villains

[iceyed]

wwx, in front of the entire cultivation party in the crowd hunt: lan zhan give me your headband the entire lan sect:

[rendevousz]

freak

avengers x teen!fem!reader

summary: you get captured during a mission and the team saves you.

warnings: language, violence, brief misogyny, torture, **NO sexual assault (because as i was proofreading, i only implied most of the torture scenes because i didn't want to write it in graphic detail and i realised the vague wordings might be misinterpreted as sexual assault which IT IS NOT, just clearing it up), and also again, my inability to write good endings

word count: 4589

notes: i just rewatched iron man 2 so that explains justin hammer LMAO also ooc justin hammer because even tho mans evil, he gets extremely um.. cruel here but anyways i hope you enjoy this!!

you were 13 when you first met the avengers and 16 when you officially joined. you grew up as one of HYDRA's experimented children and the team had found you when they raided the base that you were in.

a small, sickly-looking kid you were, sat against your cell wall, hugging your knees. 13 but you could probably pass off as a 10 year old due to how malnourished and miserable you were. burying your head in between your knees, you covered your ears as the loud gunshot noises filled the whole place. the metal door of your cell slamming open against the wall had you whimpering, hands above your head in fear.

every time the door slammed open, guards would come drag you out for more experiments so it was an instinct for you to cower in fear at the sound.

"last room in the west hall, i found a little girl."

you heard nothing because you were covering your ears, preparing yourself to be forcefully dragged by the guards to the experiment room. but it never came.

"hey," a soft voice called. you were violently shaking at this point, breathing heavily as you tried to calm down. "hey, it's okay." the voice called out again and you felt them touch your shoulders.

your head immediately jolted up, flinching away from the stranger's touch. your eyes met a blue pair as you backed away into the corner in fear. "i'm sorry! i'm sorry, i didn't mean to." the man apologised. you slowly looked up at him, observing him. he had on a full black outfit, a quiver of arrows slinging on his shoulder and he was holding onto a bow.

"don't be scared. i'm here to help," he states with his hands out, as if to calm you down. "that's what they all say." you hissed through gritted teeth and a tear-stained face, glaring at him even though that could've been a very wrong move had it been with an actual HYDRA guard.

despite the strange feeling of being safe around this man, you didn't let your guard down. that's exactly what those scientists said seven years ago. trusting kind-looking men got you into this hell you never thought you would ever escape from and you weren't going to make the same mistake again.

"clint," a red-headed female, also in all black, entered through the open door of your cell with her pistol up. at the sight of the weapon, you broke your glare towards the man. your breathing quickened and you went back to your original position before the archer came; body pressed up against your knees and covering your ears with your palms.

"i'm sorry! i'm sorry! i'll come! please don't use that on me again," you whimpered, voice muffled as your face was hidden against your knees. the woman freezes mid-walk, looking at her friend with a bewildered expression.

"nat! put that away!" clint whispered harshly, eyes glaring at the pistol in nat's hands. nat's jaw dropped in realisation, a small gasp leaving her lips as she immediately put away her weapon.

she slowly makes her way to you and clint puts his arm out before she could get closer. he looks at her with a worried expression as he shook his head, as if telling her that she can't get too close to you. nat nods understandingly, crouching down a distance from you.

"hey," she spoke softly. "i promise you that we're not here to hurt you." you kept your face hidden from her, still hugging your legs tightly. nat sighs before sitting down.

"here, let's introduce ourselves. i'm nat and this right here is clint." you hear her speak and when you slowly lifted up your head, you saw the both of them sitting down in front of you, seeming to have made themselves at home in your pathetic cell. "what's your name?"

name? you had never been able to use your name before. you always kept your own name deep in your heart despite no one ever using it, afraid you would forget it if you stopped thinking of it. the only name they ever called you here was 'number five'.

"y/n," you whispered, still doubtful about these people's intentions. you almost burst out crying when you said your name out loud. that was the first time you introduced yourself with your actual name and not the number you were given ever since you were captured.

nat must have noticed this because she immediately spoke up, trying to distract you from your consuming thoughts. "y/n...that's a pretty name for a pretty girl like you. how old are you, y/n?" she asks again.

you contemplated once more but decided it was fine. you knew you were probably going to regret trusting these two strangers but what could be worse than what HYDRA has been doing to you for years?

"13," you muttered, looking down at your lap. you were now timidly seated cross-legged, playing with the tattered hem of your shorts. you heard a small gasp from one of them and looked up to see clint with his jaw dropped.

the two adults were both thinking of the same thing. how could you be 13? you were so small and sickly-looking, they didn't even think you were older than ten, let alone an early teen.

"i know you're scared and you have all the reasons in the world to be, but i promise you, we're here to help. we'll get you out of here, only if you trust us. will you trust us?" nat says. your mind was conflicted. you were either going to finally get out of this hellhole or you were going to be taken somewhere even worse than here. but could anywhere really be worse than here?

you decided to take a leap of faith and trust these two strangers. that decision had to have been the best decision you've ever made in your life.

you were now 18, an official avenger and you had the most amazing family you could've ever asked for. they were a bit on the crazier side but could you really have a normal family when said family consisted of superheroes? but you weren't complaining. you loved these people.

they were the ones who took care of you when you thought you had no one. having been a HYDRA experiment, you had abilities the normal human didn't. said ability being shapeshifting and healing. that's why you became an avenger. your shapeshifting ability was essential during missions where you had to sneak in and you being able to heal others was crucial when medic wasn't able to be there on time.

you pretty much came along to every mission despite the adults saying you don't have to. you knew they were only doing that to protect you from dangers of all those missions but how could you not when you had such abilities? they'd be much better with you helping.

that was why you were here, in bulgaria, fighting alongside the team. well, just steve, nat, clint, bucky and tony.

justin hammer had managed to get his hands on a type of out-of-this-planet weapon that tony was also trying to retrieve, and he had big plans with it. hence why the avengers had to come where hammer had wrecked havoc in; sofia, bulgaria. he had upgraded his robots with the tech used for the stolen weapon.

with evil robots attacking the whole city, it felt like you were living the story that wanda told you of what happened in sokovia before you met the avengers.

an hour passed before all of the robots had finally been taken down and you all knew you had to get to hammer before he activates more robots to distract you guys and uses the weapon for bad things.

"tony, have you located hammer?" steve's voice sounded in your ear through the comms. you had just finished healing the nasty gash on clint's side, nat's cut on her forehead and the bruises all over bucky. you were feeling significantly weaker now, from the amount of healing you did. you stumbled slightly when you walked and bucky immediately held onto your arm. "doll, are you okay?"

"i'm fine, buck. nothing i haven't dealt with before," you told him, gently removing his grip on your arm, walking back to the quinjet.

-

"no, absolutely not. we are not sending y/n right into a death trap. she's not even strong enough right now, she just finished healing us."

you were all back at the compound now and planning a second attack on justin hammer.

"it's not a death trap, buck. and i know you're worried but she's the only choice we got. y/n, all you gotta do is sneak in as one of his henchmen and provide entrance for us. once we get in, we'll take all his guards down and get that weapon from hammer and we won't have to worry about his world domination plans anymore. it'll be over as soon as it starts and she'll be back safe with us. sound good, y/n/n?"

"yeah, sure." you agreed, already having a person in mind that you were going to change yourself to.

-

the plan had gone just as steve wanted and they managed to raid justin hammer's building, tony stealing the very item that could've aided in the massacre of millions. justin and his henchmen managed to escape the building before the avengers could catch them.

"well, that was anticlimactic," tony scoffs, already making his way to the quinjet. "but good job, y/n. you saved the day once again."

he expected to hear a laugh from you, like you usually did, being the only one who ever responds to him after missions. but instead he was met with silence. "kid?" still no answer.

"y/n, where are you?" steve panicked, finally realising that you were the only one who hasn't responded in a hot minute. "y/n/n, this isn't funny." he breathed out.

"she's...she's gone."

-

"well, well, well," a voice spoke right as you woke up from your slumber. you squinted, noticing that you were in some sort of dark room with only one light bulb right above you. "what do we have here?"

a figure walks right in the light and you could barely make out justin hammer's ugly face with how dizzy you felt. "if it isn't the little freak." he states condescendingly, smirking down at your helpless position, both wrists and ankles cuffed onto the metal chair you were sat on. you struggled against the restraints, trying to get free but to no avail.

your breathing quickened, your current vulnerable state reminding you of your later years in HYDRA. they had started off experimenting on you on a metal gurney but as you grew older, you realised that what they were doing to you was bad so you started fighting back. that ended you up on a metal restraint chair instead of the gurney, strapped to the chair with cuffs on your wrists and ankles.

this felt like deja vu. the same panic you felt, the same breathing difficulties, the same amount of effort put into trying to get out of the restraints. "you should know, princess, that that doesn't work." hammer chuckled, a fake pout on his lips as he crouched in front of you, a rough hand on your cheek. you instinctively jerked away from his touch, to which he paid no mind to because he had expected that. he then grabbed your chin harshly, turning your head up towards him. you glared at him.

"you think i didn't know what you did? snuck in as one of my men using your freaky powers? not to mention useless. imagine having powers but not being able to use them to even escape from mere humans," he laughs in your face, harshly letting go of your chin, throwing your head backwards. "you tell me where stark planned to bring the weapon and i'll let you pretty little thing go."

"no."

before you could even comprehend, his fist came flying at your face and your head dropped to the side at the impact. your left cheekbone was throbbing and you could already tell you were gonna have a black eye. despite the pain, it wasn't something you weren't used to. you were an avenger, after all. getting decked in the face was practically in the contract.

he grabbed your chin once again, pulling your head upwards to face him. "you're gonna tell me where it is or i'm gonna make you regret it."

you looked up at him with a bored look. he punched you again. and again. and again. until you could taste the blood on your tongue. "think you wanna tell me now, sweetheart?"

"never. not to someone like you."

the man seemed to get a kick out of beating you up because he punched you again in the face. your whole face was pretty much numb now and the metallic taste in your mouth intensified. you smirked at the man before you, chuckling darkly.

"sure, beat up the helpless girl. that's the only way you can beat me, right? when i'm all tied up? what a man,"

his hand was around your throat within a second and he forced you to look him in the eyes again. "sweetheart, you're a girl. tied or not, you're still weak. not even with that useless power of yours."

taking advantage of how close his face was to yours, you gathered as much bloody saliva in your mouth before spitting it in his face.

it was very much the wrong thing to do because after he wiped off his face, he left the room and two men came in, various tools in hand for their fun with you.

-

"stark! my buddy! how's it going?" justin hammer's face appeared on the screen in the conference room, where the avengers were having a meeting about your possible whereabouts.

"where is she?!" wanda growled, standing up abruptly.

"what ever do you mean?" hammer smirked, feigning innocence. "you know what we mean. where is she?" steve spoke authoritatively, trying to control his anger at the sight of the man's face.

"i'll tell you where your thing is if you tell me where my thing is." he smiled wickedly. this caused wanda to get angrier. "y/n is not a thing! and the weapon was never yours in the first place!" vision held onto her to calm her down and it worked because she sat back down, though still glaring at the screen.

"oh she's not a thing? seems like it to me, though." he smirked and the team frowned, not understanding what he meant until they heard screams and justin's smirk widening at the sound. what a sick bastard. "what are you doing to her?!" bucky screamed, knocking his chair back as he stood up.

"i don't know, you tell me." he chuckles, and the screen changes to the live footage of you in the restraint chair with the two men in the room.

you were no longer fighting back now, just sat limply with your head dropped to the side. the first hour with them, you had been fighting back like you did with justin, despite the restraints, but now entering the second hour, you were too exhausted for anything.

your left eye had been swollen shut, you could barely breathe through your nose, your cheeks were throbbing like hell and your bottom lip was busted. your head was the only thing that moved freely when hit so the men seemed to find satisfaction the most when they punched you in the face. though that didn't stop them from inflicting pain on other parts of you.

"let her go, she's just a kid!" sam exclaimed, his grip on the edge of the table tightening to control his anger. peter and wanda were crying looking at the awful state you were in, clint, tony and bruce were silent in shock, steve and bucky were getting increasingly angry as the abuse continued.

"are you going to tell us where stark is keeping the weapon or have you not gotten enough?" one of the two men was heard asking, pulling your hair back to make you look up at him. you look at with your half-opened right eye, breathing heavily. "my answer's never gonna change no matter how many times you ask."

he scoffs, stepping back before the other man swings a bat right at your stomach. the air was immediately knocked out of your lung. the men laughed as you coughed up blood profusely. this caused wanda to get more hysterical.

"well, looks like she wants more. i'll call back when she's had enough. toodles," he waves his fingers at the camera with a sinister smirk before abruptly ending the call.

the room went silent after the call, save for bucky and sam breathing heavily from the anger they felt. bucky then turned to steve, pain could be seen on his face. "you said she would be safe."

"i–i'm sorry, buck. i didn't know he was gonna take her with him." steve was still frozen in shock, the image of you on the chair now permanently ingrained in his brain. in everyone's brains actually.

"guys, gear up, he's in colorado."

all heads turned towards natasha and she looked back at them with a 'what?' expression. "you were tracking him down the whole time?"

"um, duh? now come on, gotta save our girl."

-

you awoke to a stinging sensation on your inner forearm. after your bloody coughing fit, they proceeded to beat you up again and you were knocked out then. now you were slowly regaining consciousness but you were starting to prefer being passed out. your whole body was in pain and the fact that you couldn't even move made it even worse.

"oh, lookie here. sleeping beauty is up." you were met once again with justin hammer's ugly face. he was sitting on a chair perpendicular to your left side. you couldn't wait to get out of here so you didn't have to keep seeing his face every time you woke up. your inner forearm was stinging even more now so you looked down at it. you gasped at the sight.

"how'd you like my artwork?" he chuckled at your reaction. there on your arm, obviously carved out with the bloody knife that the asshole was so proudly holding on to, was 'FREAK'. carved out big and bold. on your skin. "pretty fitting, eh? freak? because, you know, that's what you are."

the blood was seeping out through the cuts and it stung even more now that it had been exposed to the air. the asshole moved his chair to your other side. "what should i write on this arm?" he feigns a thinking expression, looking up thoughtfully with his thumb and pointer finger on his chin.

"please, i–i don't know where tony put it. i really don't." you cried, tears now flowing freely down your face without a shame.

he looks at you with amusement. "what is this? are you...are you giving up already? can't take anymore?" he smirks and you sigh, closing your eyes. you just awoke but you were exhausted. so, so exhausted.

he takes out his phone, the smirk now permanent on his ugly face. "stark! kid's finally had enough. wanna tell me where the weapon is now or do you want to find her body at the bottom of the ocean?"

you couldn't even be bothered to react to his statement. the pain all finally registered and you were tired. tired and in excruciating pain.

"kinda busy right now, can you call back later?" you could hear tony's voice sound from justin's phone and the man beside you laughed. "i see you don't care for the girl. what could possibly be more important than saving her?"

"i don't know, you tell me." a voice said from behind you two and before you knew it, hammer was knocked off the chair he was on. you weakly turned your head just in time to see a metal arm force hammer up onto his feet before wrapping around his neck. "don't you fucking touch her again."

"y/n!" you heard wanda's voice as she entered the room with peter. more tears flowed down your face at the sight of them, stinging when they rolled past the cuts on your face but that didn't matter. your family was finally here to save you.

you saw the red mist of wanda's powers surround your cuffs before they clicked open. "oh, bubs, i'm so sorry." she cried, both hands hovering around your face, hesitating to touch you in fear of hurting you. her eyes fell onto the words carved out onto your skin and her mouth fell open before covering it with her hand. "i'm so sorry we couldn't get to you sooner." peter's voice cracked and you could tell he was emotional.

"it's okay," you told them, giving them a small smile, the biggest one you could give in your current state.

tony, sam and steve entered the room to see bucky relentlessly beating up your captor and wanda and peter standing by you as you cried.

"cupcake, we're here now. don't cry, you're safe now." tony came closer and despite knowing that you were because your family was finally here, you couldn't help but let out all the pent up emotions you've kept throughout your time of captivity.

sam had a go at justin once bucky was done and steve had to physically pry them both off of the sick bastard so that nat could cuff him and bring him back to the jet.

"y/n/n, i'm so sorry. if i hadn't–"

"it's okay, stevie." you cut him off. truthfully, you only did so because you knew he was going to giving a long-winded explanation justifying his actions and your headache couldn't bear to hear lengthy sentences. but you also didn't think it was in any way his fault so he didn't deserve to be beating himself up for this. shit happens, anyway.

"let's get you out of here, doll." bucky says, cringing when he sees the blood on the floor of your chair, as well as on your clothes. he quickly reaches to lift you off the chair but stops when you let out an ear-piercing scream of pain. "doll, i'm so sorry! did i hurt you?!" bucky questions in panic.

"y–you didn't, they did. it...it hurts everywhere," you cried, feeling hopeless that you couldn't even bear being carried by someone, let alone get up by yourself. their hearts broke when you said that. you never really cried much in front of them and you were known to withstand pain well because of how much shit HYDRA put you in as well as your powers being healing, meaning you had a higher pain tolerance than most people.

"it's okay, bubs. i got you. let's get you home, alright?" wanda's calming voice broke you out of your breakdown and red mist surrounded your whole body, wanda moving you with her powers. you were thankful of that because it didn't cause any more pain to your body.

maybe hammer was right. maybe you are just a freak with useless powers. wanda floated you into the jet and she set you down on the bed. "y/n, oh my god!" clint cried out once he sees you. you looked much worse than you did on hammer's camera footage during the call an hour ago. "kid, i'm so sorry."

"clint, take the wheel. bruce doesn't have all the resources needed. she needs to be treated ASAP." nat tells her best friend and he nods, taking the wheel and immediately taking off once everyone had boarded.

you were laid on the bed, right eye slightly open as bruce examined you. exhaustion hit you like a truck and before you knew it, you blacked out.

-

"how is she, doc?"

"pretty banged up but y/n, as i already knew, is a strong girl. lots of internal bleeding, broken bones, bruises and scars but she'll be fine. you can check her file later if you want," doctor cho tells tony outside of your room. "it's fine, can we see her?" he asks on behalf of the whole team standing behind him.

"yeah, of course! she woke up five minutes ago. i'll be off now, call me or my team if you need anything." she bids goodbye and left the group of superheroes.

steve slowly opens the door and there you were in bed, staring up at the ceiling. "hey, y/n/n," he greets sheepishly, feeling as though he had interrupted your alone time of blankly staring at the ceiling. the team trailed in behind him and soon your bed was surrounded by the avengers.

"hi, cupcake."

you looked away from the ceiling and turned your head towards tony. "oh, hey tones." you smile as sam helps you sit up while the rest sat on chairs all around you. "how you feeling, bub?" nat asks, eyes flickering down to the bold scarring of letters on your forearm.

"as okay as i can be." you answered truthfully, pressing your inner forearm closer to your body so the team doesn't see the letters carved onto your skin. you already know what you are, you didn't need the rest thinking so too.

"you're not a freak, bubs."

you look up at wanda. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to read your mind. but they were awfully loud. you're not a freak, y/n. and you're not useless too. that bastard may have carved out that word onto your skin but the scar will fade. it's not permanent. you know why? because that's not what you are." she tells you, taking off her jacket to wrap it around you because you felt self conscious of the scars all over your arms where the team could see.

"yeah, doll. you're an amazing person and your powers help us so much. i mean, you saved millions just helping us get the weapon back from justin hammer. if you hadn't, well, who knows what could've been happening right now?" he places a gentle hand at the side of your head, stroking your hair.

"yeah and who heals us when we get really hurt during missions, huh? i mean, if you hadn't healed that stab wound i got during that mission in new mexico, i probably wouldn't even be here at this moment." clint tells you and you roll your eyes at him. "you're exaggerating."

"i am not!" he laughed and you playfully rolled your eyes once again.

"y/n/n, i'm really sorry for—"

"i don't wanna hear it, stevie."

"but–"

"no. it's not your fault. shit happens." you brush him off. "lang–"

"you say language to me, i'll blame this shit on you even when it's not your fault. try me, rogers." you glare at the blond super soldier. he raises his arms in surrender, leaning back on his chair as the team laughs.

the team continue to entertain you and you couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of you. these were the people who would drop anything for you and were willing to dropkick any asshole in the face for hurting you. justin hammer never had a chance against your family to begin with.

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