#꒰ 🕊 ꒱ ── cinnamon lead astray

[dearmahiru-archive]

— Short List of Mahiru/Kazui Parallels

(defending them online isn't enough i need a gun)

1. Weddings (Mahiru's desire for marriage/Kazui's discontent with his)

2. Both Partners Recieve Faces In T2 sob sob young hinako looks so much like mahiru...

3. Feeding On Animals (Initially done to "help" their partners but later they're both horrified by their actions.)

4. Both Partners Die As A Result (Mahiru overwhelmed her partner/Kazui didn't uphold his lie)

5. Lyrics

Clothes Food Shelter + Love and Miss you Clothes Food Shelter - Love and Miss you

Love (plus) Destiny = Crap, smash it, shatter it, bye-bye That sticky-sweet sequence: Dinner + Camouflage + You-Know-What Loving Affection (minus) Love, it’s tacky, this two-way deceit

My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care!

So it’s wrong? Oh shove that! INNOCENT, isn’t that right?

there's definitely more i'm missing but these are the ones i caught at first!

[dearmahiru-archive]

when you're a self-righteous girl with a sympathetic reason for your murder but morally gray because of your rigid belief system + the threat you pose to your fellow prisoners

anyway for the "it's terrible shidou got the highest inno percentage" crowd you can fight back. vote amane and kotoko inno for them to gang up on him and break his kneecaps. #feminism

[dearmahiru-archive]

i watched it a few minutes ago and now i'm just chewing on the details on purge march. in no particular order—

1. baton amane gains her cloud ribbon towards the end mirroring the same scene in magic

2. amane's baton is splattered with blood as she twirls it

3. the flag's symbol changes to mirror the one on her balloon

4. amane's transformation in magic is depicted once again in the purge march

5. when murdering her victim in her home, the nearest door is closed with the light open and there's a trail of water

6. amane being punished is the possibly the same scene in undercover

[dearmahiru-archive]

— together in death; dearmahiru's shinjū theory

tw: this post revolves around the discussion of group suicide and a toxic relationship

Before I Love You had released, I proposed Mahiru attempted to commit a lover's suicide with her boyfriend. It's hopelessly outdated (and terribly formatted) but, given we've recieved many confirmations about Mahiru's story, I wanted to try rewriting the theory with the new information. For reference here is the old post.

Yamanaka: ❝ When we designed the characters and their sins, we tried to design them in a way that is open for interpretation depending on how each viewer feels, and encourage differences in opinions. For example, some sins may be legally wrong, or something that you can’t forgive emotionally, and some may be interpreted differently due to cultural differences and different upbringings. So we encourage people from all walks of life to participate, to increase the diversity and depth in the results. ❞

Understandably, this post will paint Mahiru in an overtly sympathetic light given my bias towards her. However, I'm disinterested in rehashing the same "Mahiru is a bad person" points when everyone is aware of her flaws. I acknowledge proposing this theory would seem like an attempt to absolve Mahiru of guilt but that's not my intention. Like every character, Mahiru is morally gray and whether the audience finds her forgivable is up to them.

So, without further ado, let's begin.

01. Setting The Scene

This particular scene in I Love You is extremely important: namely, it's the location of her victim's death.

If we look at Mahiru's incarnation records, her victim died in Aokigahara, Japan's infamous suicide forest. This makes sense given he had died by hanging.

At least since the 1960s, Aokigahara has become associated with suicide, eventually becoming known in English by the nickname "Suicide Forest" and gaining a reputation as one of the world's most-used suicide sites.

Adding onto this, we know Mahiru went with her boyfriend to Aokigahara. First, ofcourse, the two are seen walking through a literal forest. Second, in Mahiru's Undercover memories, the sleeves perfectly align with the clothes Mahiru and her boyfriend wear. There's no other day where these sleeves align—trust me, I checked.

Q. Can you drive a car? Mahiru: "I have a drivers license. But I'm only a 'paper driver.'"

A paper driver is someone who's license is only 'paper' because they don't use it. Aokigara is a two-hour drive away from Tokyo which is where Mahiru lives. If she doesn't drive then this might mean it was her boyfriend who drove them to Aokigahara.

So to recap, Mahiru and her boyfriend went to a suicide forest together. This does beg the question though: why did Mahiru come along? If she knew her boyfriend was suicidal then wouldn't she try consoling him? Unless, ofcourse, Mahiru also wanted to die.

02. Love Is Mine

When you peek into Mahiru's symbolism you'll notice one reoccurring theme: clinging onto someone until you both suffocate.

Beginning with this shot of Mahiru and her victim, she's depicted as the literal noose tied around her boyfriend's neck. However, as many have noted, it can also be interpreted as her comforting him. As opposed Haruka who's straddling ontop of his victim, Mahiru's boyfriend is laying on her lap while she gazes into his eyes. Although violent, it's a distinctly intimate scene.

Personally, I'm partial to the name theory which suggests each prisoner's name reflects something about their crime. I noted the meaning behind Mahiru's name here but I'll regurgitate it. Mahiru's name means "Midday" which fits along her description:

A prisoner who is like the sun, always chatting and laughing.

So, with the theory in mind, Mahiru's crime relates to her eternal sunny presence.

Along with this, each prisoner has the kanji for "wood" in their name and removing that kanji reflects an aspect of their crime. (For instance, Haruka (嬰) would be "baby" or "necklace" and Yuno (堅) would be "strong" or "resolute" like her real personality).

With out the wood kanji, Mahiru's name is 隹 which means means "bird," obviously relating to how Mahiru and her boyfriend are both bluebirds suffocating within their small birdcage. Their relationship was doomed from the beginning—as bluebirds are wild animals and therefore cannot survive in cages. It was inevitable one of them would've become stressed out and died. Put a pin in the birdcage symbolism since we'll came back to that.

Moving on, in her first voice drama, Mahiru reveals how her victim died:

Es: "I see. So, you became a murderer as a result of some relationship conflicts? Jealousy… Grudges… Having your partner stolen from you… Those stories aren’t all that uncommon now are they?" Mahiru: "You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place!" Es: [pauses] Mahiru: "I just… I was… just being myself."

(honestly really frustrating how people still theorize mahiru/her boyfriend cheated when she expressed multiple times that wasn't the case. all of the victims apart from kotoko's were innocent people and mahiru "loving my bf is my defining personality trait" shiina isn't about to tap someone's elses ass. if anything this is a demonstration she was only stressed out about her partner leaving her but whatever i digress)

And then later on these exchanges happen:

Es: It was your love which killed someone, right? Despite that, will you still try to love another person?  Mahiru: [thinks] Actually, I was hoping you could tell me the answer to that, prison guard… If what I did was unforgivable.

Mahiru: Ah, this isn’t good. Be careful, okay? Um… Um… If you’re that kind to me, you could die as well. Just—kidding?  

So already, this theme of suffocation has been reinforced multiple times. Mahiru goes with her boyfriend to a suicide forest, she locks hands with him, she's symbolised as a noose hanging him, she's stuck in a birdcage with him, and it's her sunny disposition, her love for him which kills him.

Which forms the foundation for this theory: following her theme of clinging until suffocation, Mahiru tried to die alongside her boyfriend to forever stay with him.

Q. What is the ultimate form of Love?Mahiru: Being always together

Mahiru: My first shrine visit of the year was together with him. Obviously I know what I want to wish for. Please let us stay together like this forever. Please don’t let anyone else get in our way

Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let's just overheat together! [Mahiru is outright singing, "Lets stay close together for so long we could die from the warmth.]

If you don't hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart [Otherwise, "If you don't hold me close then I won't feel loved by you."

Mahiru: "Ehehe...I love, love, LOVE YOU!! Don't ever let me go, ok!"

The happiness we tightly bound up and suffocated, is no longer here

Which leads us to our third point: oh goodness Mahiru's relationship was a hot mess.

03. Love Is (Un)Dead

Okay, so we've established a lot but there's one thing missing: Is Mahiru herself suicidal?

Mahiru: It’s because I've… decided that I’m going to live for the sake of love

Mahiru: Hmm. If you can’t forgive me for what I’ve done, then there’s no point in living—to be honest. [laughs] 

Mahiru: Being in love is… If there was no such thing as love, then my life would be so bland. So, if you say that I won’t be allowed it anymore, then there’s no point in me living. 

An extremely unfortunate yes! Similar to how Shidou wishes to die because of his love, Mahiru only lives for the sake of love. (Infact, coasting off this shinju theory, I'd even say that both Shidou and Mahiru wanted to die for the sake of meeting their loved ones again.)

One specific detail I'd like to highlight are Mahiru's shoes.

In Japan there is a custom for people to take off their shoes before entering their homes, as to not track dirt into their houses. As a result of this line of thinking there is also a custom where people take off their shoes before they enter the afterlife as not to track dirt and such into their ethereal destination. Abandoned pairs of shoes in Japanese media have become symbolic of suicides, and they are also common in non-Japanese media.

This specific symbolism is seen an additional time with Mahiru and Kazui's victims in Undercover and Mu in It's Not My Fault, both of which are related to suicide.

In Mahiru first MV, there's always a shot where we can explicitly see her shoes. They're on in the beginning, off when she confesses to her boyfriend and they begin dating, and on again after something happened to her boyfriend.

I believe this may represent she was suicidal during the relationship. Apart from this, there's lots of little details which paint the picture she was unhappy with her life and dating her boyfriend.

When being interviewed, she tends to talk a lot, and she seems to have developed some special feelings for the prison guard, and sometimes also shows a lonely, vacant expression in contrast to her normally bright and cheerful self. [These "special feelings" for Es aren't necessarily romantic. Atleast, it's "love" in the same way Mahiru thinks of a murder prison as a romantic getaway. It's moreso developes a connection with Es because they uniquely give her attention and she finds their hardwork admirable. She finds them kind and, "if youre kind to me I'm going to start relying on you, thanks!"]

"Hello! I’m Shiina Mahiru, 22 years old! I may be incompetent, but it’s a pleasure meeting you!"

Mahiru: Right…… so you too, Mu-chan…Hmm, I guess it’s because of the environment here. Sometimes your mental state has an impact. Mu: …You’re the same, then? …that it’s gone…… Mahiru: …it’ll be fine, it’ll be fine. This sort of thing happens all the time~

I guess we can just say that this feeling is happiness I can't stop feeling like there's something missing

We can both feel lonely sometimes, but wonder if you'll get angry soon

We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt Let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad

This is a claim of responsibility From the two of us with matching love Wanting to know everything about you, but wanting to die because it can't come true It's all because of love

Don’t lose focus even when exercising! The pastel tones mean not only do you look ready to go but also give off a cute oneesan appeal. Even for a rougher style of dress you can’t be careless! Painted toenails and a necklace show some attention to detail to make for a sexy casual style. Just because it’s outdoors doesn’t mean you can relax too much! Even when picking out a date outfit to protect you from the cold, you still want to protect that loveable silhouette.

Most damning of all I'll say is Mahiru's parasite cover. The song tells a story about a scorned girlfriend who was used for sex and seeks alcohol in order to deal with her lingering feelings for ex-boyfriend. At one point Miku throws a bouquet back mirroring Mahiru's desire for a wedding.

(hmm funny how the "mahiru is a yandere because she covered psychogram" crowd was silent about this cover i wonder whyyyy)

Why can’t you understand? I hate you! Never touch me again

Wait a second, when did things start going wrong? I loved the bad parts too, everything was fine

It’s even worse when you are nice to me, But I don’t want to be given the cold shoulder [Most of all, Mahiru desires attention from her boyfriend. In her T1 MV she mentions how he "not the brightest so he never notices that I go to the beautician." This is a likely a blow to her self confidence given the heavy emphasis she has on appearing pretty. Sporadically across the magazines there's lines about "not slacking off" in public because people are always watching.]

Hey, give me back the time I used loving you, You liar. But I still love you

Hey, please don’t leave me behind, Hey, I’m hungry [This line always makes me so sad. In Mahiru's cover there's a beep to imply she's leaving this as a voice-mail for her boyfriend. Once again fulfilling our "stay with me always" clinging symbolism quota.]

Pretend not to see spitting out saliva, You're going to throw me away as incombustible waste

It’s just a bunch of “why”, I can’t change, I want to…I don’t want to leave

Hey, I want you to let me hug you at the last moment, thank you. And now, you are too (a parasite)

It's the last line I'd like to highlight because, all in one song, we've reinforced Mahiru's happiness in the relationship and the clinging symbolism. Mahiru and her boyfriend were both parasites who's clung onto eachother and deprived eachother of nutrients. Both of you suck!!

Then there's Mahiru's two symbolic locations: the birdcage and the carousel. Both of Mahiru's mindscapes places her in the same location: her home, as evident by the couches with pillows.

Personally, I subscribe to the idea the Day 16's house belong to Mahiru or it's a shared home with her boyfriend. If the poor financial situation theory is correct then the two might've decided to live together to cut costs (or Mahiru pressured him into agreeing). Her boyfriend works at a convenience store so he's probably not as financially well-off as Mahiru who recieves an allowance.

However, on a subconscious level, Mahiru thinks of her their home as a birdcage. As stated before, bluebirds can't survive in birdcages, and this is represented by her boyfriend's feathers falling from stress. Something interesting I'd like to note is that Mahiru considers leaving the birdcage but instead decides to dive back into the feathers, causing her boyfriend even more stress. Say with me: clinging 👏 until 👏 you 👏 suffocate 👏 imagery.

"Hmm... I’m a little troubled that I can’t go home, but... It’s fine, I guess. Even if I go home, there’s nothing left... And, I find it fun talking to you!"

Then, after her boyfriend's death, she thinks of their home as a carousel ride. The ledge at the beginning of the MV implies that—rather than an expansive space like Mu's beehive—the carousel is a small space. It's only Mahiru, the couch, the carousel, and a dead corspe. All she's able to do is fall asleep or ride the carousel again by herself, knowing she'll have to get off at some point. It's once again that imagery of something which is cramped and suffocating.

Both of her mindscapes cut them off from the outside world. Within her own mind all that matters is simply her and her boyfriend.

04. The Only You Can('t) Leave

Finally, I'd like to note something which has been sitting on my mind: Mahiru's themes of destiny and rebirth.

Q. What do you think happens when people die? Mahiru: They go to heaven!

Lovers committing double suicide believed that they would be united again in heaven, a view supported by feudal teaching in Edo period Japan, which taught that the bond between two lovers is continued into the next world, and by the teaching of Pure Land Buddhism wherein it is believed that through double suicide, one can approach rebirth in the Pure Land.

(big credit to doctorbunny's and archivalofsins's work on the this is how to be inlove with you locations for pointing this out! ily2 please check them out)

On Day 8, Mahiru goes with her boyfriend to go see "Your Name." Take this with a grain salt because I haven't see the actual movie— I refuse to watch a Makoto Shinkai film until he's allowed to write yuri—but the general gist is that two teenagers from 2013 and 2016 end up swapping bodies. Later, it's revealed that Mitsuha, the main heroine, is fated to die from a comet hitting the earth in the future. Fortunately, through time shenanigans, her fate ends up being altered and both teens end up surviving.

A romance movie featuring a dead lover and a mid relationship? Why, it's perfect for Mahiru!

The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. This myth is similar to the Western concept of soulmate or a destined partner.

Okay, okay, jokes aside that's not the sole reason I'm bringing up Your Name. Ofcourse, what's most interesting is it's theme of soulmates and how it relates to Mahiru.

Mahiru: Yeah. – Him and I… we loved each other. Properly as boyfriend and girlfriend. We met in college… It was the first time for me, so I don’t know if it was good or not, but… I think we were just normally going out together. I thought it was fate. He said it was, too.

Q. How did you meet your lover? Mahiru: We met eyes at the university terrace. I really felt like it was fate.

On the terrace at university, when I met eyes with that person I knew it must be fate. I might have been born purely so I could one day end up together with him. Or not, am I just overthinking things?

I ran into the person I’m interested in at the bread shop. This has to be fate, right? In the end I ended up buying the same bread as he got, but maybe I don’t need this much… > < I wasn’t thinking about the calories.

We went to one of the filming locations for a movie we both like! This sort of thing can only happen in Tokyo huh! It really must be fate that even our taste in movies lines up. I feel like a totally different person to before I met him… [Once again the movie she's talking about Your Name which is one of the highest grossing anime films of all times... bestie... ily but your rose colored glasses are blinding!!!]

Namely, once again, we're reinforcing the theme of clinging together until you suffocate. Two soulmates forced into loving eachother by the hands of fate. It's a very romantic idea twisted into something heart-wrenching.

The idea of "saving your lover from death" is briefly reflected Day 8 where Mahiru gives her boyfriend a hangover cure from called Corspe Reviver. A bit on the nose, don't you think?

This sections dawdles a little bit from the whole Shinju Theory but it felt off if I didn't include it. Given Shidou's entire character revolves around killing in order to save his loved ones, I can almost imagine Mahiru's murder was to save her boyfriend as well. There's not much evidence but... it's certainly there, right?

05. Conclusion

Aha, this post kind of devolved from "heres my shinju theory" and moreso "wow, Mahiru has a lot of suffocation imagery" which is true. There's so much of it. I don't even think this is all of it!

Theres alot more I wanted to add but... I'm not good with writing long posts if you couldn't tell! If anyone would like to add onto this for me I'd be thrilled ❤️

[dearmahiru-archive]

might be reaching here but i really enjoy the parallel of yuno and kazui extending their arms out to invite us into their rooms. yuno is asking for our hand because she desires warmth while kazui is encouraging us to go forward and expose his lies. so much love for these two funky cat people and their costumed alternative selves

[dearmahiru-archive]

Okay so!! You know how Milgram is a panopticon???

Basic description: It's a type of prison invented by English philosopher Jeremy Bentham in the 18th century. The concept is of this prison is that all prisoners can be observed by a single guard, without the prisoners' knowledge. It's been the subject of several morality debates because others have argued subjecting a human to constantly surveillance was deeply inhumane.

I remember long ago someone posted about it and went, "I wonder what Es feels about it" and I thought the same. And then I realized that we're Es! We're the ones subjecting the prisoners to inhumane constant surveillance!!!

I cant believe it took me so long to puzzle together but that's so cool man...

[dearmahiru-archive]

writhing mad over the socks / shoes in mu's MV because they drive me insane

ofcourse everyone already knows rei's socks become black when they walk past mu BUT she's the only character with white socks.

almost everyone in mu's friend group, including herself, is depicted with black socks.

the only other character with unique socks is the pink one—the yellow sweater girl who becomes queen bee after mu falls.

we know this because it's skirt length that represents mu's friend group's heirachy. mu with her long, sweeping skirt sits at the top and its the shortest one that gets bullied.

wouldn't you know it but the second longest skirt has pink hair that's styled just like yellow sweater girl!

also milgram. milgram. milgram. i'm leaning real close into your ear right now—WHY DO HER FUCKING SHOES FLY OFF

[dearmahiru-archive]

god this photo is easily the coolest anniversary artwork so far. the inverted colors, using red and green to represent innocent and guilty, how the prisoners are literally in es's hands, amazing work by akaa!

although this feels like this is the most arbitrary prisoner pairings so far. they're usually split in a very specific way (number, gender, etc.) so i can't help but feel like there's a deeper meaning. however, i also think it might just be because this was the best composition for the photo. *shrugs*

[dearmahiru-archive]

y'know, i think it's really sad that shidou and mahiru attempted to be a good husband and wife but it ended up being fruitless.

obviously, shidou wasn't able to save his family. he had two children, a wife, and sacrificed other people in an attempt to be with them again. when that failed he tried to join them in death.

meanwhile, mahiru was looking forward to becoming a wife. she wanted to marry her boyfriend, cooked his favorite dishes the day he died, mentions she's good at housecleaning, and one timeline conversation with amane implies she would've liked to be a mother

[dearmahiru-archive]

—details you might've missed in mahiru's second trial design!

tl;dr she's suffering so much

her sunflower earrings have been removed + her hair has grown

first one is tragic considering she adores earrings and, throughout all her appearances, is only seen three times without them.

mahiru takes advice from the beautician she frequents so it's likely she's prefers to style her hair rather than leaving it disheveled.

2. her nail polish has been chipped off

this is likely because her arm is broken and she cannot maintain it anymore + she's lost access to her prison benefits.

3. mahiru's restraints had been changed to reflect a birdcage + she's lost her shoes

which just... it makes me sad, y'know? the birdcage represents her relationship and she's being trapped in one again with the milgram she loves. once again she was happy in her prison but realized too late that it wasn't as wonderful as she thought it was.

i hope third season treats her better :(

[dearmahiru-archive]

I LOVE waiting for the new MVs just to see how the character's signature colors will be incorporated. banger after banger after banger !!

[dearmahiru-archive]

— terrible things that's happened to mahiru shiina during season 2 of milgram

Since we're steadily approaching Mahiru's second song, I wanted to shine a light on the amount of suffering she's been through. I can only hopes she gets a break next season!

Mahiru in season one was best friends with every female prisoner and has now lost all but one.

Obviously there's Kotoko who had almost killed Mahiru and as a result, Mahiru must use a wheelchair to get around.

There's also this heartbreaking shot in Backdraft where all the guilty prisoners are marked in red. There's lots of different interpretations of these marks but, judging by Fuuta's damage eye being marked, one of them might be Kotoko's injuries.

Instead of marking her injured arm or leg, it's Mahiru's heart thats been broken.

Since Mahiru needed treatment against Kotoko's attacks she's now drawn ire from Amane. On Mahiru's own birthday, Amane told Mahiru that she's going against the natural order and will die soon.

(The fact Mahiru doesn't even do anything hurts my heart...)

Since Mu was voted innocent in trial one she's distanced herself from the guilty prisoners.

Although she wasn't close friends with Kazui it's implied by Jackalope that he could have saved her against Kotoko but decided against it...? There's theories surrounding it but I can only hope it isn't personal :(

Last but not least, the only friend who's stayed by Mahiru' side is Yuno. Despite revealing a colder personality, it's implied Yuno used her benefits to give Mahiru the wheelchair. A true angel...!

[dearmahiru-archive]

I am not a Kotoko theorist but I know her fans are dwindling and even if I'm reaching I wanna keep up some hype for her. The RGBkoto theory is super interesting so I wanted to see if I could find any fun color stuff with Kotoko! Prisoner parallels and all that stuff. I'm mostly just flashing a light at interesting color stuff I've noticed but if this prompts anyone to look further into Kotoko I'll be happy!

For a brief explanation, the RGBkoto theory is that, instead of one alter, Mikoto has two alters with green as the host. This is why MeMe is split between the colors red, blue, and green (Here's this post if you'd like to read about it more!)

One of the parellels between the KotoKoto duo is the theme of duality. In Harrow, Kotoko mostly sees things in black and white. For the most part, her reaccuring colors are: red, blue, green, and yellow/orange. We see this immediately with the opening shot of Harrow and it continues throughout her MV.

This color scheme happens again when Kotoko researches through various articles:

The inclusion of orange in the RGB color scheme interests me because it's distinctly the color of of the girl she's saving. Not quite sure about the yellow though...

Throughout the MV, Kotoko wears two different jackets: a red one with white stripes and a blue one with a yellow stripe. This implies two different timelines, fitting the duality aspect. (The red jacket outfit isn't her forest outfit because the clothes underneath are different.) Both time Kotoko steps someone her shoes are green.

Kotoko finds the warehouse twice, one time without the car and with the car. During the second time, when Kotoko enters the warehouse, she suddenly switches to her red outfit. Despite this, there's a hat on the floor...?

Finally, not something about colors but there's three different girls in Kotoko's MV! The first two seem to be connected in some fashion aswell?

I'm really excited for Undercover! Even though she's unfortunately going to be guilty for what she did to the prisoners, I'm really interested in receiving more information about her story. She's so cool 💜

[dearmahiru-archive]

I despise Milgram because I know if Haruka dies then it's going to be blamed on Es. "You could have saved Haruka but you chose punishing Mu over someone else's life, even though you forgave Shidou for the exact same reason." I know when we inevitably have to judge Es for their crimes then they'll be charged with Haruka's death. Fuck fuck fuck I hate it here

[dearmahiru-archive]

i've seen the theory that yuno is lying about her murder being an abortion float around a few times and. man it'd be great if it wasn't but personally i think it's just an unfortunate writing decision on milgram part. an uncommon Milgram L if you will.

with s2 there's been major confirmation during each trial that impacts voting. i think this is the most obvious with shidou because i've never seen anyone propose that his patients were braindead but, regardless, thats an important detail to factor in. then there's haruka's relationship with his mother, fuuta's victim being a middle school girl, mu being a bully, etc. with yuno, we get a direct confirmation she had an abortion.

yuno hasn't shown any fear about being punished so she doesn't have a strong motivation to lie about it. even then, a major part of yuno's character is that she wants to be treated seriously. she doesn't want to be handed an innocent vote while being told she's a poor, naive girl who didn't understand her situation. locking eyes with es and directly confirming she's killed someone would be more efficient than "oh i think my murder is abortion."

and, from a writing perspective, why would milgram play into this supposed red herring instead of giving us clues to her real murder. personally i'd be annoyed if trial 3 tolls around and yuno suddenly reveals she had some extra murders on her plate that she never brought up ever.