#𝗢𝗢𝗖: // I told you it would be a damn essay

[doctordonovan]

does maeve ever feel glad that bobby's dead? or safer?

❀    ||      maeve && bobby's death

guilt is a difficult thing  -  and no matter how clever you are,  no matter how clear the facts are,  it's sometimes entirely overwhelming.   so part one of answering this is how does maeve feel about bobby's death?  the answer is relatively simple.  as awful as he was to her,  as much as he held so much blame in her suffering...  maeve sees his death as her fault.  diane went after him to prove a point to maeve:   she wanted someone she thought maeve had loved.   she killed him because she realised it was spencer who truly had maeve's heart,  that what she'd felt for bobby was never anything that could compete with it.

diane killed bobby because of his link to maeve,  and maeve can't forgive herself for that.

the guilt that comes from his murder makes her view of things...  messier.  she knows their relationship was bad  -   she knows,   logically,  that he was a controlling bastard  &&   emotionally abusive.  she knows it's not normal to hire a PI to hunt down an ex when they're hiding from a violent stalker for their own safety.

she knows a lot of things,   but the guilt is so big,  and so heavy,  that she can't feel relief or glad.  she never wanted him dead,  she just wanted him to leave her alone  &&   to let her breathe.  and whilst he was terrible enough she truly did think he was her main stalker  ( though he was still responsible for A FEW of the things that happened - he was a secondary stalker after all ) she can't get past the fact that it feels like he lost his life for her.

and,  unlike when diane was going to kill spencer...  she couldn't take the bullet for him,  she couldn't think of a way to fix things,  she couldn't find the same love borne logic that saved spencer's life and put her in her coma.