#😔i fucked up her eye and it was all the way off instead of centered

[mortiseye]

she collects girlfriends like pokemon

[trash-gobby]

Two Bounty Hunters Walk Into a Guild Meeting

Pairing(s): None

Characters: Aryia, Despel (both our bounty hunter characters we do quest stuff together with. yes I know my dude's outfit is ridiculous. no i am not gonna change it lmao)

Link: SWTOR

⚠️ Warnings!: Some stripping (not completely naked though haha)

A/N: So this is just a silly drabble based on the time my friend and I were playing our bounty hunter characters and I decided to have my character dance naked at a guild meetup. Sorry guild members 😔 I can't resist memeing

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A cool breeze swept through the green hills and jagged peaks of Balmorra. Sweeping through the long plains until it reached the planetary hub, Sobrik.

Descending the steps of the spaceport, Beef let out a bellowing sneeze that would have shook the earth were it physically possible. Beef was a big man, meaning his sneezes were naturally loud to match his size.

He was a unit of a Rattaki man, adorned with metallic piercings and fearsome face tattoos to match. He was blessed with the charm of a half-baked ahk dog, and a love for bloodshed that was only beat by his even greater love for money.

Beef surveyed the surrounding area with wary eyes, wiping his pierced nose with the back of his gloved hand.

"God fucking damn it," a disgruntled woman's voice called out not far behind him. "I gave you tissues for a reason, they aren't just there for decoration."

Aryia hopped down the steps at a brisk pace to keep up. Where Beef was tall, broad and muscular, with an intimidating disposition, the small Chiss woman he travelled with was the opposite.

She was small and lithe, which helped her more than you would think in their line of work. Beef once called her "fun-sized," which had nearly gotten him blown up.

She appeared well-groomed. Hair always back in a slightly messy updo. Her dark red eyes framed by vivid magenta shadow betrayed none of her intentions. She was a like a rock, stoic and unreadable. If she didn't have a noticeable scaring across one half of her face, one might mistake her for an imperial drone instead of a fearsome bounty hunter.

Even then, her enemies seemed to underestimate her due to her petite feminine appearance.

How could an adorable tiny Chiss woman in bounty hunter armour possibly pose any threat? Only her enemies, and occasionally Beef would know once she decided to strike.

"Fuck off, I can do what I want," Beef replied with a grumble, causing both Mako and Aryia to roll their eyes.

If Aryia and Mako rolled their eyes every time Beef opened his mouth to make a dumb unnecessary comment, they'd both have to go to a med bay on the fleet to see an optometrist.

As they made their way further into Sobrik city center, the two bounty hunters noticed that there was more hustle and bustle then usual. There were a plethora of various Sith Lords, Darths, Imperial Agents, and Mandalorian Bounty Hunters.

"Didn't expect this planet to get as much action as this," Looking around Aryia took in the appearance of true full fledged bounty hunters.

These were true warriors who had fought their ways to the top of the food chain. The kind of hunters who had carved their reputation into the bones of their enemies with their bloodied fingernails. They'd worked harder then any. Their scar covered faces, and elaborate armour sets.

One day Aryia would reap the same rewards. All the glory and honour would be hers when she became the victor of the great hunt. Or in this case "they" would be the victors.

Aryia was still getting used to the whole partner thing. She'd always been more of a lone wolf, which was quite normal if one wanted to take up the bounty hunter profession. But her and Beef had both mutually bonded over nearly getting assisted by Tarro Blood's men. Somehow that had gotten them travelling the galaxy together.

They were allies joined by a mutual enemy, not friends, they'd never be friends. Right?

As they made their way further into the throng of the crowd, Beef seemed to be eyeing up a group of more revealingly dressed sith sorcerer's. Didn't matter the gender, if there was skin being shown, or a tight outfit, Beef's eyes were gonna end up wandering that way.

"I think they're all in one of those fancy clubs," Aryia looked over at Beef as he made this statement. Her brow thoroughed in skepticism.

"You think? They all seem pretty different. Not a whole lot of unifying aspects to them." Pointing from a Sith warrior clad in black battle armour, over to an imperial agent in tightly fitting pink bodysuit. What a weird choice for a profession that relied on being under the radar.

"Yeah, sometimes I have the ability to think. If you look closely they all have the same little pin. Like one of those coat of arms things." He was correct surprisingly this time. As Aryia observed they all did have the same emblem either in the form of a pin or embroidery worked into their uniforms and armour.

"Well, imagine that. Why would these fancy guild members be all the way out here on Balmorra?" Her question wasn't ever gonna get answered, as she was interrupted by the sound of armour shifting and unbuckling. " What the fuck are you doing?"

Both Beef and Aryia had made their way around a corner to a less busier side street. Thank the gods, because she was now witnessing insanity. Not unusual from her companion.

"I'm gonna show them what a real bounty hunter looks like in the flesh." His voice was loud enough to carry to a couple other onlookers, who turned to whisper at each other.

"You do know 'in the flesh' is a turn of phrase and not a literal instruction," Aryia growled as Beef proceeded to take of his gear piece by piece with great haste.

It was almost impressive how he'd managed to get his chest piece off in the short conversation they'd had about his current stroke of insanity. He would call it eccentricity.

Hopping on one foot, he started to work on the lower half of his gear. Beef's massive chest and arms were exposed to the world, and the rest of him would follow not long after.

Aryia briefly debated shooting him in the knee and dragging him away so he wouldn't do what he was about to do. However, not only did she have witnesses, but it felt like a waste of ammo.

So instead Aryia settled for turning away and mashing ball of her hand into her aching head. Just another day babysitting this man-child with a shotgun.

Within a matter of second he stood beside her, clad in only his thermal underwear, which was a must when travelling to planets with unpredictable weather.

They were definitely gonna get arrested. Or, at least Beef was, and Aryia was gonna have to bail him out.

"Please put your gear back on." She didn't want to beg, but she was so tempted to.

"I'm not done yet. The fun part still hasn't happened." With that, he was off.

Full sprint, the massive Rattataki man barrelled into the center of the crowded guild meeting. Aryia could only watch on in horror from the sidelines.

Shoving aside various members of the guild, attracting both appalled gasps and nervous laughter, Beef found his perfect stage for what he was about to do.

Standing in front of the railing on the elevated platform which lead to one of the buildings, Beef began to dance. His dancing skills were majestic to his own eyes alone. To Aryia he looked like like someone suffering from a massive hernia when he would try to bust a move.

At least when he danced in public it was at a club and he was fully clothed. This was beyond awful.

She could see the horror and confusion on the guild members faces as he kept shaking his substantial ass and throwing his head back and forth. He moved his arms vigorously, making Aryia grateful no one was close enough to get clipped in the nose, like the last time he tried to dance.

One person whistled and some laughter followed. Clearly some people were at least amused. However, that did not reduce the embarrassment of the display.

Just another day working with the world's dumbest bounty hunter.

Aryia decided she would let him have his weird little moment and started on her way to their mission. He would meet her there when he was done flashing the guild members. What an idiot.

[burned-lariat]

No matter the circumstances, Spencer Cassadine has raised the bars for other poorly written male chapters. Honorable mention goes to Dante and Cameron.

I pray Valentini stops some of his bs and clean up GH this year. I know they got it in them write good stories. Eh, I'm not holding my breath. Wait and see.

Um did I see the with my own two eyes, the Muppet baby and the Sycamore tree got engaged? They just squeezed them in with popular Britt's party and Sprina and thought we would notice but I didn't. LOL

I have Dramamine on hand in case this week of GH decides to get heavy-haned with Joss scenes putting her whiny butt front and center cause the nearsighted Hook killer keeps missing her by this|much and poor Britt dies a martyr. 🙄

Things I'm looking forward to is more Sprina and Cam dumping Joss, more Sante, possibly Dex with anybody but a Benson, the pcpd solve a damn case, Chase gets his badge back, more Vanna, more TJ, a more mature BLQ, more family-centered stories and everything else is left to be desired.

Trim the fat in the writers rooms (Chris and Dan). Simplify stories, less overlap and less depressing stories more intrigue, thrilling and excitement. Oh and no more babies for at least two years!

Preach!

I think Frank is hit-and-miss as an EP. There are times when he'll approve of scenes or ideas and it would be dope (ex: Selina & Brad speaking Cantonese after the actors approached him about it). And then there are times when he'll approve shit and it's completely awful. I think he needs to pay way more attention to what Chris & Dan are writing and distributing because, in reality, they are a bigger issue.

Muppet baby & Sycamore tree 🤣💀 those are some fucking amazing nicknames.

And yeah...you're gonna need that. I worry that's exactly what's gonna happen 😔 dying to save a Benson is such an offensive way to kill a character off, esp one that has a moderately positive reception.

I agree with all of your wishes (though I want Chase to be Sam's new PI partner instead). And Dex is the only one of the three new major characters introduced that can be considered a "hit." He has a lot of potential that can be tapped should he leave the hell that is the Benson circle. But so far, the writers are only interested in Dex insofar as how much they can exploit utilize him for trauma porn.

Yep! I sometimes joke that I could be hired and write for the show, but it's like half-a-joke in reality. I promise you, any of us who post here at a minimum could write better than Chris & Dan. Less repeated stories, less toxicity, and less babies for sure!