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#''getting better'' is such a nebulous concept with no firm goalpost that i just. really wonder if it's even possible
ranger-kellyn
ยท
5 months
Text
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#it's so fucking Exhausting be your own worst enemy
#never get a fucking break
#stuck with this stubborn mf 24/7/365
#like am i really going to just be living Like This until i'm finally put out of my fucking misery one day huh
#i keep everyone at arm's length at the closest
#bc i never want to let anyone in enough to hurt me like everyone from my past did
#i complain about being single but do literally fucking nothing to remedy that bc again i don't trust people
#(which really in itself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy)
#i get high basically every single day bc i can't stand being mentally present
#''getting better'' is such a nebulous concept with no firm goalpost that i just. really wonder if it's even possible
#constantly told ''it gets better'' but i've yet to see any real tangible proof of that
#it still feels like it only gets new kinds of worse never better
#what's even the point of ''getting better'' if i still have to wake up every single fucking day in a capitalist soul-sucking hellscape
#negative
#honestly don't even know what i'm going to do once my cat dies bc lets be honest she's the only thing keeping me alive most days
#and at absolute best she has maybe another 10 years so like. the clock is ticking isn't it
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