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bigmacdaddio · 4 years ago

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Trump

Trump will never be forgotten because he incited an insurrection against the government, mismanaged a pandemic that killed over half a million Americans, separated children from their families, lost those children in the bureaucracy, tear-gassed peaceful protesters on Lafayette Square so he could hold a photo op holding a Bible in front of a church, tried to block all Muslims from entering the country, got impeached, got impeached again, had the worst jobs record of any president in modern history, pressured Ukraine to dig up dirt on Joe Biden, fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia, bragged about firing the FBI director on TV, took Vladimir Putin’s word over the US intelligence community, diverted military funding to build his wall, caused the longest government shutdown in US history, called Black Lives Matter a “symbol of hate,” lied nearly 30,000 times, banned transgender people from serving in the military, ejected reporters from the White House briefing room who asked tough questions, vetoed the defense funding bill because it renamed military bases named for Confederate soldiers, refused to release his tax returns, increased the national debt by nearly $8 trillion, had three of the highest annual trade deficits in U.S. history, called veterans and soldiers who died in combat losers and suckers, coddled the leader of Saudi Arabia after he ordered the execution and dismembering of a US-based journalist, refused to concede the 2020 election, hired his unqualified daughter and son-in-law to work in the White House, walked out of an interview with Lesley Stahl, called neo-Nazis “very fine people,” suggested that people should inject bleach or disinfectant into their bodies to fight COVID, abandoned our allies the Kurds to Turkey, pushed through massive tax cuts for the wealthiest but balked at helping working Americans, incited anti-lockdown protestors in several states at the height of the pandemic, withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords, withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear deal, withdrew the US from the Trans Pacific Partnership which was designed to block China’s advances, insulted his own Cabinet members on Twitter, pushed the leader of Montenegro out of the way during a photo op, failed to reiterate US commitment to defending NATO allies, called Haiti and African nations “shithole” countries, called the city of Baltimore the “worst in the nation,” claimed that he single handedly brought back the phrase “Merry Christmas” even though it hadn’t gone anywhere, forced his Cabinet members to praise him publicly like some cult leader, believed he should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, berated and belittled his hand-picked Attorney General when he recused himself from the Russia probe, suggested the US should buy Greenland, colluded with Mitch McConnell to push through federal judges and two Supreme Court justices after supporting efforts to prevent his predecessor from appointing judges, repeatedly called the media “enemies of the people,” claimed that if we tested fewer people for COVID we’d have fewer cases, violated the emoluments clause, thought that Nambia was a country, told Bob Woodward in private that the coronavirus was a big deal but then downplayed it in public, called his exceedingly faithful vice president a “p---y” for following the Constitution, nearly got us into a war with Iran after threatening them by tweet, nominated a corrupt head of the EPA, nominated a corrupt head of HHS, nominated a corrupt head of the Interior Department, nominated a corrupt head of the USDA, praised dictators and authoritarians around the world while criticizing allies, refused to allow the presidential transition to begin, insulted war hero John McCain – even after his death, spent an obscene amount of time playing golf after criticizing Barack Obama for playing (far less) golf while president, falsely claimed that he won the 2016 popular vote, called the Muslim mayor of London a “stone cold loser,” falsely claimed that he turned down being Time’s Man of the Year, considered firing special counsel Robert Mueller on several occasions, mocked wearing face masks to guard against transmitting COVID, locked Congress out of its constitutional duty to confirm Cabinet officials by hiring acting ones, used a racist dog whistle by calling COVID the “China virus,” hired and associated with numerous shady figures that were eventually convicted of federal offenses including his campaign manager and national security adviser, pardoned several of his shady associates, gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to two congressman who amplified his batshit crazy conspiracy theories, got into telephone fight with the leader of Australia(!), had a Secretary of State who called him a moron, forced his press secretary to claim without merit that his was the largest inauguration crowd in history, botched the COVID vaccine rollout, tweeted so much dangerous propaganda that Twitter eventually banned him, charged the Secret Service jacked-up rates at his properties, constantly interrupted Joe Biden in their first presidential debate, claimed that COVID would “magically” disappear, called a U.S. Senator “Pocahontas,” used his Twitter account to blast Nordstrom when it stopped selling Ivanka’s merchandise, opened up millions of pristine federal lands to development and drilling, got into a losing tariff war with China that forced US taxpayers to bail out farmers, claimed that his losing tariff war was a win for the US, ignored or didn’t even take part in daily intelligence briefings, blew off honoring American war dead in France because it was raining, redesigned Air Force One to look like the Trump Shuttle, got played by Kim Jung Un and his “love letters,” threatened to go after social media companies in clear violation of the Constitution, botched the response to Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico, threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans when he finally visited them, pressured the governor and secretary of state of Georgia to “find” him votes, thought that the Virgin islands had a President, drew on a map with a Sharpie to justify his inaccurate tweet that Alabama was threatened by a hurricane, allowed White House staff to use personal email accounts for official businesses after blasting Hillary Clinton for doing the same thing, rolled back regulations that protected the public from mercury and asbestos, pushed regulators to waste time studying snake-oil remedies for COVID, rolled back regulations that stopped coal companies from dumping waste into rivers, held blatant campaign rallies at the White House, tried to take away millions of Americans’ health insurance because the law was named for a Black man, refused to attend his successors’ inauguration, nominated the worst Education Secretary in history, threatened judges who didn’t do what he wanted, attacked Dr. Anthony Fauci, promised that Mexico would pay for the wall (it didn’t), allowed political hacks to overrule government scientists on major reports on climate change and other issues, struggled navigating a ramp after claiming his opponent was feeble, called an African-American Congresswoman “low IQ,” threatened to withhold federal aid from states and cities with Democratic leaders, went ahead with rallies filled with maskless supporters in the middle of a pandemic, claimed that legitimate investigations of his wrongdoing were “witch hunts,” seemed to demonstrate a belief that there were airports during the American Revolution, demanded “total loyalty” from the FBI director, praised a conspiracy theory that Democrats are Satanic pedophiles, completely gutted the Voice of America, placed a political hack in charge of the Postal Service, claimed without evidence that the Obama administration bugged Trump Tower, suggested that the US should allow more people from places like Norway into the country, suggested that COVID wasn’t that bad because he recovered with the help of top government doctors and treatments not available to the public, overturned energy conservation standards that even industry supported, reduced the number of refugees the US accepts, insulted various members of Congress and the media with infantile nicknames, gave Rush Limbaugh a Presidential medal of Freedom at the State of the Union address, named as head of federal personnel a 29-year old who’d previously been fired from the White House for allegations of financial improprieties, eliminated the White House office of pandemic response, used soldiers as campaign props, fired any advisor who made the mistake of disagreeing with him, demanded the Pentagon throw him a Soviet-style military parade, hired a shit ton of white nationalists, politicized the civil service, did absolutely nothing after Russia hacked the U.S. government, falsely said the Boy Scouts called him to say his bizarre Jamboree speech was the best speech ever given to the Scouts, claimed that Black people would overrun the suburbs if Biden won, insulted reporters of color, insulted women reporters, insulted women reporters of color, suggested he was fine with China’s oppression of the Uighurs, attacked the Supreme Court when it ruled against him, summoned Pennsylvania state legislative leaders to the White House to pressure them to overturn the election, spent countless hours every day watching Fox News, refused to allow his administration to comply with Congressional subpoenas, hired Rudy Giuliani as his lawyer, tried to punish Amazon because the Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post wrote negative stories about him, acted as if the Attorney General of the United States was his personal attorney, attempted to get the federal government to defend him in a libel lawsuit from a women who accused him of sexual assault, held private meetings with Vladimir Putin without staff present, didn’t disclose his private meetings with Vladimir Putin so that the US had to find out via Russian media, stopped holding press briefings for months at a time, “ordered” US companies to leave China even though he has no such power, led a political party that couldn’t even be bothered to draft a policy platform, claimed preposterously that Article II of the Constitution gave him absolute powers, tried to pressure the U.K. to hold the British Open at his golf course, suggested that the government nuke hurricanes, suggested that wind turbines cause cancer, said that he had a special aptitude for science, fired the head of election cyber security after he said that the 2020 election was secure, blurted out classified information to Russian officials, tried to force the G7 to hold their meeting at his failing golf resort in Florida, fired the acting attorney general when she refused to go along with his unconstitutional Muslim travel ban, hired Stephen Miller, openly discussed national security issues in the dining room at Mar-a-Lago where everyone could hear them, interfered with plans to relocate the FBI because a new development there might compete with his hotel, abandoned Iraqi refugees who’d helped the U.S. during the war, tried to get Russia back into the G7, held a COVID super spreader event in the Rose Garden, seemed to believe that Frederick Douglass is still alive, lost 60 election fraud cases in court including before judges he had nominated, falsely claimed that factories were reopening when they weren’t, shamelessly exploited terror attacks in Europe to justify his anti-immigrant policies, still hasn’t come up with a healthcare plan, still hasn’t come up with an infrastructure plan despite repeated “Infrastructure Weeks,” forced Secret Service agents to drive him around Walter Reed while contagious with COVID, told the Proud Boys to “stand back and stand by,” fu**ed up the Census, withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization in the middle of a pandemic, did so few of his duties that his press staff were forced to state on his daily schedule “President Trump will work from early in the morning until late in the evening. He will make many calls and have many meetings,” allowed his staff to repeatedly violate the Hatch Act, seemed not to know that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, stood before sacred CIA wall of heroes and bragged about his election win, constantly claimed he was treated worse than any president which presumably includes four that were assassinated and his predecessor whose legitimacy and birthplace were challenged by a racist reality TV show star named Donald Trump, claimed Andrew Jackson could’ve stopped the Civil War even though he died 16 years before it happened, said that any opinion poll showing him behind was fake, claimed that other countries laughed at us before he became president when several world leaders were literally laughing at him, claimed that the military was out of ammunition before he became President, created a commission to whitewash American history, retweeted anti-Islam videos from one of the most racist people in Britain, claimed ludicrously that the Pulse nightclub shooting wouldn’t have happened if someone there had a gun even though there was an armed security guard there, hired a senior staffer who cited the non-existent Bowling Green Massacre as a reason to ban Muslims, had a press secretary who claimed that Nazi Germany never used chemical weapons even though every sane human being knows they used gas to kill millions of Jews and others, bilked the Secret Service for higher than market rates when they had to stay at Trump properties, apparently sold pardons on his way out of the White House, stripped protective status from 59,000 Haitians, falsely claimed Biden wanted to defund the police, said that the head of the CDC didn’t know what he was talking about, tried to rescind protection from DREAMers, gave himself an A+ for his handling of the pandemic, tried to start a boycott of Goodyear tires due to an Internet hoax, said U.S. rates of COVID would be lower if you didn’t count blue states, deported U.S. veterans who served their country but were undocumented, claimed he did more for African Americans than any president since Lincoln, touted a “super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile which may or may not be a new “hypersonic” missile or may not exist at all, retweeted a gif calling Biden a pedophile, forced through security clearances for his family, suggested that police officers should rough up suspects, suggested that Biden was on performance-enhancing drugs, tried to stop transgender students from being able to use school bathrooms in line with their gender, suggested the US not accept COVID patients from a cruise ship because it would make US numbers look higher, nominated a climate change sceptic to chair the committee advising the White House on environmental policy, retweeted a video doctored to look like Biden had played a song called “F**k tha Police” at a campaign event, hugged a disturbingly large number of U.S. flags, accused Democrats of “treason” for not applauding his State of the Union address, claimed that the FBI failed to capture the Parkland school shooter because they were “spending too much time” on Russia, mocked the testimony of Dr Christine Blasey Ford when she accused Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault, obsessed over low-flow toilets, ordered the rerelease of more COVID vaccines when there weren’t any to release, called for the construction of a bizarre garden of heroes with statutes of famous dead Americans as well as at least one Canadian (Alex Trebek), hijacked Washington’s July 4th celebrations to give a partisan speech, took advice from the MyPillow guy, claimed that migrants seeking a better life in the US were dangerous caravans of drug dealers and rapists, said nothing when Vladimir Putin poisoned a leading opposition figure, never seemed to heed the advice of his wife’s “Be Best” campaign, falsely claimed that mail-in voting is fraudulent, announced a precipitous withdrawal of troops from Syria which not only handed Russia and ISIS a win but also prompted his defense secretary to resign in protest, insulted the leader of Canada, insulted the leader of France, insulted the leader of Britain, insulted the leader of Germany, insulted the leader of Sweden (Sweden!!), falsely claimed credit for getting NATO members to increase their share of dues, blew off two Asia summits even though they were held virtually, continued lying about spending lots of time at Ground Zero with 9/11 responders, said that the Japanese would sit back and watch their “Sony televisions” if the US were ever attacked, left a NATO summit early in a huff, stared directly into an eclipse even though everyone over the age of 5 knows not to do that, called himself a very stable genius despite significant evidence to the contrary, refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power and keep his promise, and a whole bunch of other things I can’t remember at the moment.

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dustedmagazine · 5 years ago

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Crime — San Francisco’s First and Only Rock’n’Roll Band: Live 1978 (Superior Viaduct)

Photo by Larry Larson

Depending on who you listen to, Crime was either the band that energized San Francisco’s punk scene in the mid-1970s, or they weren’t a punk band at all. The latter is decidedly a minority position, but it was fervently advocated by Johnny Strike, one of the band’s vocalists and guitarists. He rejected “punk” as a media concoction, part and parcel of the hyperventilating, titillating and putatively outraged coverage the Sex Pistols were getting from news outlets internationally around the same time that Strike and his bandmates were donning police uniforms, figuring out the chords to Bo Diddley songs and generally pissing people off. Even in a scene that early on included provocateurs like Grand Mal and the Mutants, Crime was angrier and a lot louder than anyone else. And in that way, the band embodied the spirit of punk with vitriolic force.

However one feels about the music’s precise relation to punk, Crime’s volatile mix of snarling bravado and sardonic wit had indisputable power. See the few minutes of publicly available footage of their notorious gig, in full-dress cop uniforms, at San Quentin in 1979. At whose expense is the joke? It’s undecidable (though the inmates certainly appear to enjoy the set). The band’s stage presence, as much as their aggressively thundering sound, was integral to their raging and enraging anti-aesthetic. For that reason, it’s an excellent thing that Superior Viaduct is releasing on DVD San Francisco’s First and Only Rock’n’Roll Band: Crime 1978, a 35 minute film by Larry Larson documenting a live set at Mabuhay Gardens from that year. The label is also releasing a 2 x 7” soundtrack record of the set, reviewed here.

The recording features Crime’s best line-up, including Strike, Frankie Fix, Ron “the Ripper” Greco and Hank Rank. A few of the band’s more famous tunes (inasmuch as they have “famous tunes”) are included in the set: “Baby, You’re So Repulsive,” “Murder by Guitar,” “San Francisco’s Doomed.” It’s great to hear a bunch of Crime’s songs in their preferred live environment, especially at the Mabuhay. “I Knew This Nurse” rumbles and chugs along with considerable menace; someone blows a harmonica throughout the song, underscoring its bluesy nastiness. “Instrumental Instrumental” bashes and hurls its way along with abandon. “Piss on Your Dog” is as truculent as ever, and its quotations from “Sister Ray” (Fix and Strike playing chicken with sheer volume, the similar riff, Strike snarling “I couldn’t find the time time”) are even clearer here, in spite of the raw, somewhat muffled sound quality — or maybe because of it.

The real find on the soundtrack is “Out Crowd,” a bristling rave-up that doesn’t seem previously to have appeared on a Crime record. The lyrics are pretty representative of the band’s ethos: “And we don’t got any money / And we don’t got any friends / And we don’t go along / With your so-called trends / …We’re in with the out crowd.” Along with the rest of the set, the song was captured in June of 1978, about half a year after the Pistols had flamed out at the Winterland, just across town. About a half a year after Crime’s Mabuhay gig, Virgin Records would issue The Great Rock’n’Roll Swindle, replete with Sid Vicious’s doped-up and dopey rendition of “My Way.” Sid’s performance may be the inverse of everything Crime tried to do. So who’s the punk? Who’s the vapid trendoid? As D.H. Lawrence once told us, “Never trust the teller, trust the tale.” Like poor, simple Sid, Johnny Strike and Frankie Fix are lost to time, and to us; they can no longer tell us anything. But listen to Crime. The songs say it all.

Jonathan Shaw

#crime #San Francisco’s First and Only Rock’n’Roll Band: Live 1978 #superior viaduct #jonathan shaw #albumreview #dusted magazine #punk #san francisco #west coast punk #live #archival film #larry larson

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creepingsharia · 6 years ago

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Minnesota Muslim Rep. Ilhan Omar filed joint tax returns before she married husband

The first Somali Muslim refugee woman in Congress is blazing a whole new trail...of fraud.

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) — Minnesota campaign finance officials said last week that Democratic U.S. Rep. Ilhan Omar misused campaign funds in violation of state rules. They also revealed that she had filed joint tax returns with her husband years before they were legally married and at a time when she was married to another man.

The revelation put the freshman representative under more scrutiny from critics who have taken issue with her marital past. One tax expert said that if there is no criminal intent and the issue has been corrected, she’s unlikely to face any criminal consequences.

Some questions and answers about the tax issue:

Q: What did Omar do wrong?

A: The Minnesota Campaign Finance and Public Disclosure Board said Thursday that Omar and her husband, Ahmed Abdisalan Hirsi, filed joint tax returns for 2014 and 2015 — before they were actually married and while Omar was legally wed to another man. While some states allow for joint filing for “common law” marriages, Minnesota does not, and filing joint tax returns with someone who is not your legal spouse is against both federal and state law.

Q: How did this become public?

A: Last year, a Republican state representative accused Omar of misusing campaign funds, alleging among other things that she used $2,250 in campaign money to pay a lawyer for her divorce proceedings. The campaign finance board investigated and found she didn’t use the funds to pay for a divorce lawyer as alleged, but other irregularities were found. The board’s final report said “there was an issue with her tax returns that needed to be corrected” and that some campaign funds went to an accounting firm.

State officials ruled last week that Omar must repay her campaign committee nearly $3,500, including $1,500 for payments made to the accounting firm for services related to joint tax returns for 2014 and 2015. Omar must also pay a $500 penalty to the state.

Q: What has Omar said about this?

A: Very little. In response to questions from The Associated Press, her campaign sent an emailed statement saying, “All of Rep. Omar’s tax filings are fully compliant with all applicable tax law.” The campaign did not make Omar available for an interview or answer specific questions from the AP. In response to the overall campaign finance investigation, she said in a statement last week that she will comply with the state board findings calling for her to repay money and pay a penalty.

Q: Hasn’t Omar faced criticism on other issues?

A: During her brief time in Congress, Omar has been outspoken on issues such as U.S. policy toward Israel and the Middle East. As one of the first two Muslim women in Congress, she has faced heightened scrutiny. She has been accused of making anti-Semitic remarks. In response to some of her comments, the House passed a resolution condemning hate speech against all groups. Omar denied any anti-Semitic intent but apologized in February for the remarks.

She has also been dogged by conservatives who have raised questions about her past. She came to the United States as a refugee from war-torn Somalia. In 2016, as Omar was running for a seat in the Minnesota House, conservative bloggers alleged she was married to two men at the same time. Marriage records show that’s not the case. Conservatives also alleged that one of those men, Ahmed Nur Said Elmi, was her brother — allegations that Omar called “disgusting lies.”

According to marriage records, Omar applied for a license in 2002 to marry her current husband, Ahmed Abdisalan Hirsi, who Omar says went by Ahmed Abdisalan Aden at the time. A marriage certificate wasn’t issued and Omar has said they didn’t pursue a civil marriage but instead married in their Muslim faith tradition. Omar and Hirsi had two children, but ended their relationship in 2008.

Omar then married Elmi, whom she said is a British citizen, in 2009, according to a marriage certificate. Omar said that relationship ended in 2011 and the two divorced in their faith tradition, but Omar didn’t take legal action to divorce him until 2017. Divorce records say Omar and Hirsi reunited and had a third child together in June 2012. Omar legally married Hirsi in early 2018, a month after her divorce from Elmi was finalized.

Q: Did Omar gain something by filing jointly?

A: It’s hard to say. In most situations, filing jointly may reduce taxes for married couples. But Eric Johnson, an attorney who practices tax law in St. Paul, Minnesota, said that’s not always the case and filing jointly might actually increase a tax bill for some.

Omar has so far kept her tax returns private. While she has called for President Donald Trump to release his tax returns, her campaign did not acknowledge the AP’s request to release hers. Her campaign also did not answer a question about whether there might be issues with other tax returns prior to Omar’s marriage to Hirsi in 2018.

Q: Is Omar now in trouble with the IRS?

A: That’s not clear. The IRS says federal privacy law prohibits it from commenting.

Jeff Sigurdson, executive director of the Minnesota Campaign Finance and Public Disclosure Board, said that while the board has authority to refer matters to a county attorney if it discovers an issue, there were no referrals made in this case. Sigurdson said the board did not look into the legality of the joint tax returns, but only “whether it was appropriate to use committee funds to get a copy of them.” Sigurdson said the board never saw the returns in question.

Johnson, the tax attorney, said if taxpayers incorrectly file tax returns as “married filing jointly�� where there is no legal marriage, it is typically not a criminal matter unless taxpayers have a strong intent to cheat on their taxes, or unless they directly provide false factual information.

“If the IRS discovers the error, they send the resulting tax bill to the taxpayers,” Johnson said. “If the taxpayers discover the error ... amend their returns and pay the tax, there is typically no further consequence.”

Q: Will the public ever know what happened?

A: Probably not, unless Omar decides to talk about it. Taxpayer information is protected under federal law. Johnson said the IRS can’t disclose the status of anyone’s tax issues or directly release information about Omar’s tax situation.

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The Star Tribune explains that Omar claimed she was following “her faith” - which is Islam, that is governed by sharia law, not U.S. laws.

Ilhan Omar's credibility takes another hit:

In an October 2018 editorial, we called on Omar to more fully explain her travel and other expenses. We noted that the allegations “suggest a pattern of carelessness and/or self-dealing with legally restricted funds. Neither conclusion inspires the confidence voters deserve to have in someone they send to the U.S. House to represent them.”

It is even more disturbing, therefore, to learn that among the board’s latest findings was a troubling discovery that is far beyond its jurisdiction, but worthy of greater scrutiny nevertheless. Omar, for two years running, filed joint tax returns with a man she was living with but not legally married to. Complicating matters further, she was legally married to another man at the time.

It’s against the law in Minnesota to file jointly unless one filer is legally married to the other. Last year Omar told the Star Tribune that she had married her partner “in her faith,” and had earlier divorced her first husband “in her faith.” That’s fine for religious purposes. But for tax purposes, only civil marriages qualify. It’s not known whether she benefited materially by filing jointly. That is something that voters, who are obliged to follow tax laws no matter how painful, are entitled to know.

It’s not too much to expect that a lawmaker would check with a tax attorney on a rather complicated marital status before filing. And when questions arise, it’s a violation to use campaign funds to clear up those personal issues, as Omar apparently did. The Campaign Finance Board has ordered that she reimburse her campaign $3,469 for violations related to her tax returns and non-campaign travel costs. She must also pay a $500 civil penalty.

Omar is no stranger to controversy. As a new state House member, she collected $2,500 in speaking fees — $2,000 from Normandale Community College and $500 from Inver Hills Community College — for appearances made shortly after she took office. Rep. Steve Drazkowski, R-Mazeppa, who publicly noted that state law prohibits legislators from collecting such fees from groups that have business before the Legislature, made that public, and Omar returned the money. Drazkowski also filed the latest complaint. “It’s very clear there are huge ethical problems with Rep. Omar,” he told an editorial writer, adding that the House should consider an ethics investigation.

If this pattern continues, further investigation may be necessary.

----------------------------------------------

May be? How many other areas of her life and in her role as an elected official is Ilham Omar willing to choose “her faith” and sharia over the U.S. Constitution?

#Legal #Sharia #Immigration

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yesvac · 6 years ago

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Podcasting Dungeons & Dragons: How “The Adventure Zone” is Reviving Oral Storytelling

Topic: Podcasts, oral storytelling, “The Adventure Zone”

Date: 14 October 2019

Read time: 10 minutes

When I was young and visited my grandma’s house, I always asked her to read me Go, Dog. Go! by Dr. Seuss before I went to sleep. This was a reasonable request when I was little, but when I began to grow older, regularly reading chapter books on my own, I would still ask my grandma to read me Go Dog. Go! at the end of the night. It was something about how she sat at the side of my bed, squishing me up against the wall, and said those words that had been repeated many times before. And I am not alone in my fond memories of repeated oral story. People love repeated stories, ones told over and over: myths, narratives, family tales. We love these stories not only for their themes and the multitudes of love they contain, but because oral storytelling is a deeply human instinct: in 1998, a professor at the University of Texas at Austin described that “oral tradition… becomes story as it is retold, resung.” So where do podcasts of the modern age factor in? Podcasts are a medium of oral storytelling, and I plan to explore that idea through exploring the podcast “The Adventure Zone.” “The Adventure Zone’s” specific medium of storytelling and its enjoyed popularity teaches lessons about methods and mediums of story, and how they impact storytelling.

To understand how a podcast can do that, it’s important to know what “The Adventure Zone” is. “The Adventure Zone” is a series of publicized recordings (or, a podcast) created and recorded by the McElroy brothers (Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy), podcast-artists and comedians, with their dad. In it, they participate in and play a Dungeons & Dragons campaign they call “Balance.” “The Adventure Zone: Balance” has 69 episodes, and seven story arcs, amounting to over 75 hours. During the podcasts, the players not only play Dungeons & Dragons and fight monsters, but also develop each of their characters, and Griffin, the Dungeon Master of the game (for those who aren’t intimately familiar with D&D: he crafts the story and moderates the game), creates a web of story and plot throughout the 75-hour runtime of the campaign. There’s no way to tell how many people listen to “The Adventure Zone Podcast,” because there are dozens of podcast-streaming websites and no publicly posted number of listeners or listens; however, in the past few years, the show has enjoyed a boost of popularity and a geniune “following” of listeners. But why? What compels people spend dozens of hours listening to four men play Dungeons & Dragons?

As I mentioned previously, podcasts are one of the newest and most explosive forms of oral storytelling. While not many of the younger generation watch news on the television (or watch television at all), almost all of them listen to public radio or podcasts through an app. As Nicholas Mirzoeff discusses in his piece “How to See the World,” the newly created “global network” has allowed us to “create, send and view images of all kinds, from photographs to video, comics, art, and animation.” Podcasting is an aspect of this new global network and may be counted as an image shared through it. Most people own technology that gives them access to podcasts through the internet, and consuming their shared images is easier now than ever.

Through the medium of podcast, there is a certain shared experience akin to the shared experience of intimate oral storytelling. It harkens back to the days of shared story through oral connections, over a fire with friends or a family story not recorded in a written format but passed along through generations. As Juliette de Maeyer recognizes in her article “Podcasting Is the New Talk-Radio,” podcasts “bring you to places you’ve never been… give you the impression of sharing an animated kitchen-table banter... with a couple of friends. In that regard, podcasts are a “sensational” medium.” In “The Adventure Zone,” during long monologues by Griffin, the Dungeon Master, there’s often background music that recalls the musical theme used before in the campaign or arc, while Griffin narrates a story with meaningful themes of death, family, love, loss and loneliness. Certainly, “The Adventure Zone” is a sensational medium when it uses repeated music to elicit an emotional response. Additionally, this concept relates to Thomas Turino’s idea of artistic connections in his piece “Why Art Matters,” when he claimed that “the connections expressed through art flow from and create a deeper sense and a different type of understanding.” By using the repeated artistic expression of music in the podcast, the creators tap into a deeper level of understanding of the listeners. Many podcast creators do.

What comes from this emotional response and formed connection is an imagined community by the podcast-listeners. In “How to See the World,” Mirzoeff discusses Benedict Anderson’s theory of imagined communities: that all communities are imagined, because people in it have not truly formed a connection with all of the other members. Anderson describes imagined communities of nations, which often result in patriotism, or imagined communities of readers of newspapers, who feel connections with the readers of the same newspaper. In that case, listeners to podcasts are certainly members of an imagined community, both with the podcast artists (those who record podcasts), in the case that they feel an intimate connection through the oral tradition of storytelling, and with the other fans, in “fandom.” Two fans of the same podcast who have never met can form bonds across boundaries of nation and language because they have an imagined community of being two people who both really, really like this podcast.

But let us rewind a bit, and understand more about the oral medium of storytelling. I want to talk about the oral medium in general and why it’s so persuasive now in 2019. It’s clear that the younger generation of people are less interested in big media the way previous generations have been -- big media meaning CNN, ABC, Fox News and CBS. Even big news outlets like The Atlantic and Washington Post and The NY Times enjoy less recognition and popularity from Millenials and Gen-Z readers. Most people in this age group do not watch the news but instead listen to NPR on their favorite podcasting platform, or any other podcast and talk-radio medium recordings. There is good reason for this. As a Maeyer describes “big news” in 2019, it’s often clouded with “hateful trolls, hysterical fake news outlets, a news agenda led by Russian hackers, and a never-ending spiral of conspiracy theories.” The oft-repeated mantra of “fake news” has led to the younger generation’s rejection of big news outlets with a lack of trust, and it could also explain the younger generation’s attraction to podcasting and oral storytelling as a way to strip the spread of information down to individual voices and intimately shared connections.

If I allowed myself a paragraph to nerd out about “The Adventure Zone” in my article about “The Adventure Zone,” it’d go a bit like this: That’s not to discredit the importance of the creativity and outstanding qualities of “The Adventure Zone.” For my argument, it’s just one example of a podcast, when there are thousands of podcasts in the world, that connects to its listeners through the format of oral storytelling. But this podcast is the real deal for an example of how revolutionary podcasting can be as a contributer to storytelling. What other form of storytelling requires its consumers to listen and pay attention for almost 100 hours -- and they do it, quite willingly? And it’s not a bore -- “The Adventure Zone” podcast is carefully organized into seven different arcs, all with unique characters, different settings, connected through a complicated non-chronological plot. It’s an intricately woven story with fully developed and realized characters and relationships between them: romantic relationships, friendships, fully-developed and realistic portrayals of family. And one of the reasons why I think its portrayal of these relationships is so popular is because it is created by a family. This podcast is created by three brothers and a dad. They know what sibling relationships look like. They know what familial loss looks like. And the result of it is something that is so rarely created: a collaboration between a family. And, when it comes down to it, it’s also just a really funny podcast.

Justin: Uh, I’m, I’m playing, uh, a wizard.

Griffin: ‘Kay.

Justin: His name is spelled “T-A-A-K-O”.

Travis: So like “tay… tay-ko?”

Griffin: So like “tayko…”

Justin: “Tahk”… Well, I mean, the… It’s two “a”s so…

Griffin: Is your wizard named… Are you naming your goddamn wizard “Taco”?

Methods of communication and mediums of storytelling (or, more simply, the ways to tell a story) develop along with the rapidly changing world around us. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Podcasts are widely available to any person with an internet connection and a device to listen on. Creating friends and sharing connections with people who also love the same media is a beautiful thing, regardless of how empty the promise of an imagined community is. Also, one of the reasons I study humanities is because of its focus on humans and their stories. And from what I’ve seen, the shift from bigger, more corrupt and corporate-influenced outlets and big news to individual voices has simply resulted in more intimate storytelling, and a focus on stories from people.

#lmk if you read this and what you think!#my writing #the adventure zone

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stone-man-warrior · 4 years ago

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January 20: 2021: 8:42 pm:

Joe Bidden Hand Puppet, makeshift homemade craft version, available in bulk, online:

Joe Bidden Bobblehead Doll, w/Authentic Packaging and Platform:

Joe Bidden/Kamala Harris commemorative “Mating Pair” desk action figure set, Two-Pack:

“I heard Biggie Small’s shot Two-Pack... what did you hear?“

==============================================

9:07 pm:

Joe Bidden is not going to save the day.

He is only an extension of Donald Trump, but with a twist.

It’s all Screen Actor Guild, is all pre-arranged. There is no US President. There is the “Entertainment Union“ called SAG, creates an imaginary world where it appears as though there are two political parties who don‘t get along with one another very well. It’s all very entertaining, consumes a lot of time and resources to baby-sit them. They draw attention to themselves, so that the British/Vatican pirate ship can quietly move along on it’s journey in search of land, riches, slaves, and power.

The Twist is that Donald Trump had his own, separate terror army, millions of them, who all reside within the same terror army concealment as the SAG terror army does, secretly.

Riding around on the coat tails of the SAG terror army, is the Trump terror army. Both are composed of many millions of Christian terror pirates, who all have been supplied, housed, fed, armed, and supported in every way, by use of secretly distributed funds from US Treasury and Federal Reserve for about fifty years so far. The distribution of all of that financial support is extremely complex, concealed, hidden from view with an array of deceptive means that are such that the means are stacked one method on top of another, can change as is needed to a different method of support distribution of funds, and these days is made possible by digital banking magic, chipped debit and credit cards, and a whole bunch of other ways. JP Morgan Chase Bank Corporate take over is what makes much of the current methods possible, in association with key figures such as Leisure Suit Larry Kudlow and Steven Mnuchin.

Two separate terror army’s.

One knows of existence of the other, the Trump terror army secretly lives inside of the SAG/Bergoglio/Google/Vatican (is Biden out front for now) terror army.

The host terror army, the SAG terror army, the Mother of All Terror Army’s, has been oblivious to the existence of the Trump variety terror army until recently, thanks to this account at StoneMan Warrior about two years ago, when existence of “The Afterswords” was made public here on Tumblr Social Media. “The Afterswords” is what the Trump brand terror army calls themselves, is not something I made up.

So, I suspect that Joe Biden‘s first priority is going to be to make arrangements to try to flush out, starve, isolate, divide, and conquer the Afterswords terror army in creative ways.

Boris Johnson is an Aftersword high commander. His recent statements on Twitter about “Ohhh it’s a shame that so many records were stolen from British Police HQ” etc... is about a disrespect paid publicly from one terror army commander to another opposing terror army commander, that it’s such a shame that the Trump cabinet deleted all of the record keeping that Biden needs to get his hands on at the White House. I further suspect that the Trump team is not stupid, and planted a whole bunch of false bread crumbs for the Bidden Brigade to try to follow.

In a match of wits, Trump wins against Joe Biden, no contest.

Biden belongs to a terror army group who has had everything handed to them on a platter for so long that they don‘t even have to try anymore, and don‘t understand even that their own people have been slowly eliminated over many decades, and replaced with the Trump brand of Afterswords terror soldiers in the field.

In the neighborhoods, towns, cities and counties, where the battlefield has been, but is really a slaughter of US Citizens who don‘t know that they are under attack, is composed of representation of two opposing secret Christian terror army’s, but there is absolutely no representation at all for the US Citizens.

I am the only person defending for the USA.

There are no others.

SAG/Biden is in league with Britain/Vatican. (The Bergoglio; Google)

SAG/Trump is in league with German/Vatican. (SAG news media/Pope Benedict)

SAG news media is also split along a line drawn at the Vatican, the networks are either Pope Bendedict (is a real Pope, is German Pirate) aligned, or are Pope Francis (is not a Pope, is SAG Actor Pirate from Aaarrrgentina) aligned.

It’s more complicated than that, but Google, is part of the Biden terror. Twitter is Google. The Vatican, is Google. Biden, is the front man for the Google/Vatican, as of today ... even if it turnes out that Joe Biden died years ago, there is enough Time Warp film footage available, all pre-arranged long ago, to create the false reality that I started to explain above. It is likely that USA is lead by a ghost and a dead, two hump camel right now, not even puppets, but rather “Artifacts left on the screen” in the editing department at Universal Studios.

The Benedict parts of the Vatican are going to be very difficult to learn about. Google won’t help with that, Google needs to secretly flush them all out. It’s the difference between boys and men... The Bergoglio’s are the boys. are from Hollywood, the Benedict’s are the hard core pirate men that the boys of Hollywood are pissing off.

But it’s more complicated than that, and the boys/men analogy is a poor one.

Another simple analogy is that 2,021 years ago, a fierce dog was turned loose on the word, over time, the dog became confused, is getting old, and is often seen chasing it’s own tail on the front lawn these days.

================

Consider these ideas to help understand a little more:

Britain rules these places:

new Zealand; Australia; India; Japan; Hong Kong; Canada.

Parts of Europe.

Parts of South America.

Portugal is next door to Spain, absolute control over the Meditarian Sea and all of the shore line it’s surrounded by, is there at Spain/Portugal.

Portugal controls/rules Brazil.

Chinese are not Hong Kong, and Hong Kong is not China.

Nazi’s may be German’s, but German‘s are not necessarily Nazi’s.

There is no Russia, never was a Russia, there is Mongolia where they say Russia is, it’s all a lie, is there to make false balance of global power perspective. Putin is a movie star, an actor, Chernobyl is a manufactured accident that never happened, is a movie set in Uzbekistan, is there to make cover somehow for “new clear weapons”, or, is simply a shell of language used for talking about “new clear weapons”, which is poison gasses that include nitrous oxide, medazolam, and a host of other gasses that do not have publicly available names, make symptoms such as those of strong laxative as a weapon that can prevent people from defending themselves when exposed to “boutique custom airborne gasses”.

India is in charge of many, maybe most corporate 800 call centers that US consumers use to make contact with customer support, and, India is in charge of all of the 7-11 stores in the neighborhoods, creates a problem for US Consumers who say personal information to the 800 call centers, and then go for a Big Gulp at the Joe Biden/Barack Obama (Black Steve) Slush Fund HQ.

nasa is not a space agency any more. nasa is a SAG movie studio used for many purposes, one is to provide a false space presence, or superiority in the eyes of other nations. Another is as a enormous prophet center, where the video productions are cheap to make, but the space budget the fake programs are funded with are astronomical, real, and are funds that are stolen from taxpayers for the purpose of feeding, housing, supplying the Biden/Google/Vatican/Britain terror team of millions of Christian pirates.

Pence accessed all of that, may have hijacked the nasa arrangements from the opposing terror army, to feed, house, supply the Afterswords.

Those small details may help to get your head in a way to think about how to take USA away from all of the terror bastards, and give back to the US Citizens that is belongs to.

===============

10:21 pm:

The StoneMan plan for defeating all of the terrorism, starts with taking Twitter offline, permanent, gone, offline.

Then, SAG news media needs to be rounded up, spoken with, they all need to say what they know about the past fifty years, and, they need to write down exactly the plan that they used for assassinating John F. Kennedy.

Google must be taken into custody of free people, some US and Global national security needs to take Google, preserve the record keeping, make the thing work correctly without spying on people for take-out like they have been doing.

All of the “Unicorns” must be shut down, pay special considerations to Musk and Bezos and the outfits they are puppets for. The Unicorns are all more Vatican terror cells.

We have to take out the Vatican the same way that Damascus was taken out, there is no other way.

All of SAG needs a short leash, find out what they know.

Ten Downing Street must be taken out with force too, along with SIS MI 6 at Vauxhaul Bridge.

House of Lords members needs to be found out who they are, and find all of their record keeping to learn where more of the problems are at.

That is a start.

Twitter first, is very important to take offline, soon, now, pronto.

US and British Music industry is Vatican High Command. That needs special attention.

US Congress and all of the US State Governors are all fake, all are SAG puppets who work for Britain/Vatican. They all have to go, we need to find some real US Citizens who want to lead, get rid of the traitors who are occupying our government. Give all of them Orange Jump suits, permanent, is too good for them, but something must be done at our own government leadership levels to maintain USA and restore the freedom the bastards stole from us.

Round up all of the SAG Card holders, the entire entertainment industry, and the others I mentioned, take the treasonous bastards to Easter Island, and drop them off permanently there.

===============================

11:35 pm:

Local Update:

A walk to the mailbox was cold and uneventful.

It’s 30 degrees, overcast with high clouds. Feels much colder than it did last two nights, which were two degrees colder on the thermometer, but slightly less burning cold at the hands and face.

The neighborhood is quiet, but it’s late, I have not been outside in daylight hours for more than about two hours combined all this year, is far too dangerous for that.

There was one piece of mail in the mailbox, from Bank of America, was “Face Down“ in the box and that was noted as a message. (see reports of Joe Biden saying something about Vermont, or Delaware today, to understand the note from the “Alpha Breasts”, “Delmarva” about death of USA message he provided from the mail carrier today). It was a tax statement on a mortgage, is of interest.

Freeway sounds are front and center, not to the north or south, were more ominous, darker sounding freeway noises than last night. It’s important that Global security persons understand the size and capabilities of many millions of terror soldiers all involved in common effort, even if that effort is for the purpose that I will say something about the sounds made by distant traffic are more ominous and darker. “Drop D Freeway Tuning” was present tonight, intentionally.

The most notable of condition changes are that the Myers terror cell at 560...

(train on Russell road tracks is rolling through, about fifteen minutes early tonight at 11:52 pm.)

... has turned off the very bright porch light, and, the Chartrand terror cell at 376 has turned on a very bright additional porch light, illuminates the road in front of the house there. I usually would be on high alert when that happens, as that Chartrand bright porch light is often accompanied by a vehicle with a grill mounted machine gun that comes down the road as I am getting my mail, have to step in between the incoming rounds when that happens,

The Myers terror cell is without that bright porch light presents an illusion as if the front door is wide open, has a white string of holiday lighting around the door frame that makes the illusion happen.

There is some activity inside the Monroe’s house, is unusual to see any signs of life inside the house there, some lights turned on and off is all, but that never happens indoors, only outside lighting in pair of chicken coups ever happens there, but, not tonight.

Chapman terror cell is no longer presenting signs of strangers, as I predicted would be the case after explaining what is normal there, so, all appears as is normal at Chapman, at least for when there is no attacking going on, variety of normal. There are more than one kind of normal.

Strong’s terror cell has not been doing their usual antics as I step out onto my front walkway these past few nights, that is a good thing, they “bust into action” as I step outside most often, with a whole bunch of activity with people and vehicles all moving around most of the time for the past fifteen years or so, as I go out my front door, is usually accompanied by at least one car that leaves the Sunflower terror cell, goes to the church down the street quietly, and/or hauls ass fast towards Three Pines Road with loud hot rod car.

I heard one small airplane today fly overhead at about 2:30 pm., there has been reduction of small aircraft flyovers this year.

There have been almost no large commercial aircraft at all for a long time.

Yesterday, or day before, the SAGClubMed Junket Jet flew very low, fast, and loud directly over the house. NAMM Musicians Trade Show is this week, I have been expecting aggressive guitar players on attack mission, happens twice annually that the come to attack along with the NAMM Trade Show.

That’s all.

====

One other notable thing this past few days is about the forced air conditioning/heater thermostat. I got roped into replacing the analog bi-metal thermostat, and swapping that good one out for a digital terror equipped model many years ago, since then, the terror bastards are able to activate the fan for the HVAC remotely so that the fan is always running, the system will not shut off, does not cycle the way it is supposed to, and I have to manually reset the system in order to shut off the fan, witch is turned on remotely for it’s ability to create a negative air pressure inside the house, as is needed, when the terror bastards are ready to introduce the poison gasses into my home for priming me with nitrous prior to the physical attack. Happened last night in the kitchen, I don’t want to talk about it, it does not help to say that I killed the son of bitch, or don’t say that I killed the son of bitch terror bastards when they poison me and then come in with the keys that the sheriff hands out to terror bastards. The remote control that is used to control the heating system is not a remote that came with the thermostat, there is no indication that the digital thermostat is remote control capable, it’s hidden terror technology, and is also inside of your thermostat if you were convinced to put the digital kind, rather than the safe ones that are bi-metal thermostat tech.

(computer is hijacked, this addition will not post, have to try another way. Terror bastards are at 376 Jackpine again, have the thing that hijacks the computer from Centurylink/Google internet terror consortium. 1-21-2021: 12:38 am.)

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readonline · 5 years ago

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https://nyti.ms/34FebC6 8, 2020 at 09:27PM

The Coronavirus Outbreak

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Modern Love

If grief is the price of love, I am unable to pay.

Credit...Brian Rea

By Jared Misner

On the day I knew Alison would die, I called my two dogs into bed with me and wrapped all three of us in a quilt that’s hand stitched with my wedding vows.

This being such a custom item, it’s curious that three of them exist.

For my wedding two years ago, Alison had commissioned the hand stitching of this quilt — 1,420 words across 42 square feet. But the quilter kept messing it up with errant commas and misspelled words, so Alison made her start over, twice. She wasn’t about to be responsible for giving a less-than-perfect gift to me and my future husband, Nate. Still, the quilter had us keep the first two because there was no sense in returning them.

Before the doctors unplugged Alison in late April — one more body claimed by the coronavirus, lost amid the zeros and statistics to become a footnote in our sordid history — that’s who she was at her core: dedicated to perfection and superior gift-giving.

More than that, she was my best friend for 12 years, and even though I’m now married to a wonderful man, I’m not sure I’ll ever love someone like I loved Alison.

I suppose it’s fitting that this gift — the most perfect my husband and I received at our wedding, the gift we use more than any other, the gift I now find myself clinging to in Alison’s absence — came from the woman who was my first, and I suppose only, Facebook-official wife.

[Sign up for Love Letter, our weekly email about Modern Love, weddings and relationships.]

Smitten with ourselves at the satirical shade we threw at others who lived for the drama and gossip of online relationship statuses at a time when Facebook had walls instead of feeds and when people still wrote on their friends’ walls, we made the digital declaration to one another and began our first marriage.

It was the most successful fictitious marriage I’ve had in my life, full of artisanal jams from roadside stands and dreams of one day living in a cabin in Vermont with a dozen dogs and a shed devoted to Halloween decorations.

Given that I’ve only been married to my husband for two years, I suppose you could say that my relationship with Alison was the most successful, long-lasting marriage I have had, period.

But now, at 29, she is dead, the ventilator no longer breathing for her, moved on to the next victim of Covid-19.

To die from this plague is a tragedy. To witness a loved one do so is a merciless, unrelenting kind of sadness — prolonged and filled with false hope. It is a faraway, forced mourning, her body a vector of contagion. It is a unique grief overridden by a forced education in a vocabulary I never wanted to learn: hydroxychloroquine, extubation, Remdesivir.

Latest Updates: The Coronavirus Outbreak

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And to die in the year of our lord 2020 is to die in so many places with deluging notifications, incessantly pinging you to remind you that your best friend is dead.

Texts from her father, Rich, an accountant from New York who now lives in West Palm Beach but still sounds like a New Yorker, and who once described my skinny jeans in college as “hot pants,” go off on my phone like bombs.

I think: Is this the one that tells me my best friend is dead?

Facebook posts from her mother, Robin (who once stole three mini cast-iron pans from a tapas restaurant in Gainesville, Fla., which still hang in my kitchen 12 years later), are an unpunctuated stream of terror, anger and fear. People “react” to her posts with digital tears. Instagram posts implore Alison to wake up, then shift to digital memorials, ephemeral stories that tag Alison, which she, despite the notifications, is unable to add to her own “story” because, again, she is dead.

To die amid this pandemic is to die over Zoom, your loved ones reduced to Hollywood Squares and requests to mute. Sharing stories about yesteryear with a video lag while your best friend is sedated. And while your friend dies in her hospital bed, hundreds of miles away, the process also involves rolling your eyes at the baby boomers on the call who insist on holding their phones below their chins rather than at eye level.

And then there are my own posts that I felt so obligated to birth into existence. To mourn your best friend in the 21st century is to do so publicly or risk others wondering why you haven’t already.

So I uploaded a 17-page letter Alison had written me in 2012, as we prepared to graduate from journalism school and begin our adult lives. It earned some 300 views, so I guess people liked it. How does one measure the support of digital grief anyway? Would I have loved her more if my “story” had received 400 views? Would our friendship mean more if a few more people had sent crying emojis in response?

On pages six and seven of the letter, Alison wrote, “I’m overwhelmed with clichés right now as I try to label our relationship. Best friends? Family? Soul mates? Soon-to-be newlyweds? Nothing feels right.”

“Nothing feels right” has a more macabre tinge to it these days because, well, nothing feels right.

In college at the University of Florida, and then continuing for the next eight years, Alison and I would say to each other, “Thank you for ruining me.” It was our way of telling the other: You’re so perfect, your understanding of me so nuanced and deep, that no man could ever match you.

By being all of these things, by accompanying me on another fruit-themed fall festival somewhere in north-central Florida, by sitting in a Czech restaurant in Ontario, and making me laugh even in the memo section of Venmo, “Thank you for ruining me” was to say “No one will ever know me or love me like you.”

Now that I’m actually married (the legal kind), I can say I love my husband very much. He is pragmatic, kind and handsome.

But he does not pull over for garage sales. He does not smuggle bags of dog costumes and treats out of press events to later give to my dogs and my parents’ dogs. He does not bring friendship bracelet crafts or design-your-own hats to our annual Labor Day trip and does not understand my references to the Beehive. He has no idea why Alison and I, eight years later, still laugh at the thought of when the chickens finally came to roost.

He does not speak in the Voice, a high-pitched apology-laced tone that came from who knows where but which we spoke in almost always.

He is, simply, not Alison. He could never be. It is (was?) a different kind of love. And nothing feels right now.

What happens to our inside jokes that litter the filing cabinets of my mind? Do they die along with her? Do I laugh to myself? What happens to her Facebook wall, the only record of our marriage, my first, her only?

One night while I wept in bed, my husband said to me, “Grief is the price of love.”

It was a typical thing for Nate to say: stoic New England pragmatism, the opposite of what I wanted to hear, the last thing Alison would have said. Yet it was everything I needed to hear.

He’s right, of course. He always is. One of the many reasons I married him.

But that love was expensive, a jumbo-size mortgage on my heart that I fear I won’t ever be able to repay.

Alison and I, both phone-call-averse millennials, would commonly talk on the phone for two hours at a time. Nate knew to go upstairs, don’t wait up when Alison called, the picture of her dressed as a cat for Halloween in 2012 appearing on my phone.

Do I keep her in my contact favorites now? Do I delete her? Do I unfriend her?

To die in 2020 is a messy amalgamation of digital business.

At my wedding, I asked Alison to read a passage from “The Velveteen Rabbit.” It’s a paragraph I have hanging in my home about what it means to be “real.”

The rabbit asks if becoming real hurts. The skin horse tells him yes, sometimes, it does. Sometimes your eyes will get rubbed off in the process and you’ll lose some of your shine. But that’s how you know you’re real. Nothing real can ever remain untouched.

The whole time they’re talking about love, of course.

I didn’t make the connection when I asked Alison to read that passage at my wedding, but it also describes us. Alison made me real. Alison ruined me. And I am better because of it.

Jared Misner is a writer in Charlotte, N.C.

Modern Love can be reached at [email protected].

To find previous Modern Love essays, Tiny Love Stories and podcast episodes, visit our archive.

Want more from Modern Love? Watch the TV series; sign up for the newsletter; or listen to the podcast on iTunes, Spotify or Google Play. We also have swag at the NYT Store and two books, “Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption” and “Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less” (available for preorder).

From Modern Love

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bangkokjacknews · 5 years ago

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What do we know about the DEADLY CORONAVIRUS?

WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT THE DEADLY #CORONAVIRUS IN CHINA? Someone who is infected with the Wuhan coronavirus can spread it with just a simple cough or a sneeze, scientists say. At least 213 people with the virus are now confirmed to have died and more than 9,900 have been infected in at least 21 countries and regions. But experts predict the true number of people with the disease could be 100,000, or even as high as 350,000 in Wuhan alone, as they warn it may kill as many as two in 100 cases. Here's what we know so far: What is the Wuhan coronavirus? A coronavirus is a type of virus which can cause illness in animals and people. Viruses break into cells inside their host and use them to reproduce itself and disrupt the body's normal functions. Coronaviruses are named after the Latin word 'corona', which means crown, because they are encased by a spiked shell which resembles a royal crown. The coronavirus from Wuhan is one which has never been seen before this outbreak. It is currently named 2019-nCoV, and does not have a more detailed name because so little is known about it. Dr Helena Maier, from the Pirbright Institute, said: 'Coronaviruses are a family of viruses that infect a wide range of different species including humans, cattle, pigs, chickens, dogs, cats and wild animals. 'Until this new coronavirus was identified, there were only six different coronaviruses known to infect humans. Four of these cause a mild common cold-type illness, but since 2002 there has been the emergence of two new coronaviruses that can infect humans and result in more severe disease (Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) and Middle East respiratory syndrome (MERS) coronaviruses). https://bangkokjack.com/2020/02/03/thai-doctors-coronavirus-break-through/ 'Coronaviruses are known to be able to occasionally jump from one species to another and that is what happened in the case of SARS, MERS and the new coronavirus. The animal origin of the new coronavirus is not yet known.' The first human cases were publicly reported from the Chinese city of Wuhan, where approximately 11million people live, after medics first started seeing infections on December 31. By January 8, 59 suspected cases had been reported and seven people were in critical condition. Tests were developed for the new virus and recorded cases started to surge. The first person died that week and, by January 16, two were dead and 41 cases were confirmed. The next day, scientists predicted that 1,700 people had become infected, possibly up to 7,000. Just a week after that, there had been more than 800 confirmed cases and those same scientists estimated that some 4,000 – possibly 9,700 – were infected in Wuhan alone. By that point, 26 people had died. By January 27, more than 2,800 people were confirmed to have been infected, 81 had died, and estimates of the total number of cases ranged from 100,000 to 350,000 in Wuhan alone. By January 29, the number of deaths had risen to 132 and cases were in excess of 6,000. Where does the virus come from? Nobody knows for sure. Coronaviruses in general tend to originate in animals – the similar SARS and MERS viruses are believed to have originated in civet cats and camels, respectively. The first cases of the virus in Wuhan came from people visiting or working in a live animal market in the city, which has since been closed down for investigation. Although the market is officially a seafood market, other dead and living animals were being sold there, including wolf cubs, salamanders, snakes, peacocks, porcupines and camel meat. Bats are a prime suspect – researchers at the Chinese Academy of Sciences said in a recent statement: 'The Wuhan coronavirus' natural host could be bats… but between bats and humans there may be an unknown intermediate.' And another scientific journal article has suggested the virus first infected snakes, which may then have transmitted it to people at the market in Wuhan. Peking University researchers analysed the genes of the coronavirus and said they most closely matched viruses which are known to affect snakes. They said: 'Results derived from our evolutionary analysis suggest for the first time that snake is the most probable wildlife animal reservoir for the 2019-nCoV,' in the Journal of Medical Virology. So far the fatalities are quite low. Why are health experts so worried about it? Experts say the international community is concerned about the virus because so little is known about it and it appears to be spreading quickly. It is similar to SARS, which infected 8,000 people and killed nearly 800 in an outbreak in Asia in 2003, in that it is a type of coronavirus which infects humans' lungs. Another reason for concern is that nobody has any immunity to the virus because they've never encountered it before. This means it may be able to cause more damage than viruses we come across often, like the flu or common cold. Speaking at a briefing in January, Oxford University professor, Dr Peter Horby, said: 'Novel viruses can spread much faster through the population than viruses which circulate all the time because we have no immunity to them. 'Most seasonal flu viruses have a case fatality rate of less than one in 1,000 people. Here we're talking about a virus where we don't understand fully the severity spectrum but it's possible the case fatality rate could be as high as two per cent.' If the death rate is truly two per cent, that means two out of every 100 patients who get it will die. 'My feeling is it's lower,' Dr Horby added. 'We're probably missing this iceberg of milder cases. But that's the current circumstance we're in. 'Two per cent case fatality rate is comparable to the Spanish Flu pandemic in 1918 so it is a significant concern globally.' How does the virus spread? The illness can spread between people just through coughs and sneezes, making it an extremely contagious infection. And it may also spread even before someone has symptoms. It is believed to travel in the saliva and even through water in the eyes, therefore close contact, kissing, and sharing cutlery or utensils are all risky. Originally, people were thought to be catching it from a live animal market in Wuhan city. But cases soon began to emerge in people who had never been there, which forced medics to realise it was spreading from person to person. There is now evidence that it can spread third hand – to someone from a person who caught it from another person. What does the virus do to you? What are the symptoms? Once someone has caught the virus it may take between two and 14 days for them to show any symptoms – but they may still be contagious during this time. If and when they do become ill, typical signs include a runny nose, a cough, sore throat and a fever (high temperature). The vast majority of patients – at least 97 per cent, based on available data – will recover from these without any issues or medical help. In a small group of patients, who seem mainly to be the elderly or those with long-term illnesses, it can lead to pneumonia. Pneumonia is an infection in which the insides of the lungs swell up and fill with fluid. It makes it increasingly difficult to breathe and, if left untreated, can be fatal and suffocate people. What have genetic tests revealed about the virus? Scientists in China have recorded the genetic sequences of around 19 strains of the virus and released them to experts working around the world. This allows others to study them, develop tests and potentially look into treating the illness they cause. Examinations have revealed the coronavirus did not change much – changing is known as mutating – much during the early stages of its spread. However, the director-general of China's Center for Disease Control and Prevention, Gao Fu, yesterday said the virus was mutating and adapting as it spread through people. This means efforts to study the virus and to potentially control it may be made extra difficult because the virus might look different every time scientists analyse it. More study may be able to reveal whether the virus first infected a small number of people then change and spread from them, or whether there were various versions of the virus coming from animals which have developed separately. How dangerous is the virus? The virus has so far killed 213 people out of a total of at least 9,800 officially confirmed cases – a death rate of around two per cent. This is a similar death rate to the Spanish Flu outbreak which, in 1918, went on to kill around 50million people. However, experts say the true number of patients is likely considerably higher and therefore the death rate considerably lower. Imperial College London researchers estimate that there were 4,000 (up to 9,700) cases in Wuhan city alone up to January 18 – officially there were only 444 there to date. If cases are in fact 100 times more common than the official figures, the virus may be far less dangerous than currently believed. Experts say it is likely only the most seriously ill patients are seeking help and are therefore recorded – the vast majority will have only mild, cold-like symptoms. For those whose conditions do become more severe, there is a risk of developing pneumonia which can destroy the lungs and kill you. Can the virus be cured? The Wuhan coronavirus cannot currently be cured and it is proving difficult to contain. Antibiotics do not work against viruses, so they are out of the question. Antiviral drugs can, but the process of understanding a virus then developing and producing drugs to treat it would take years and huge amounts of money. No vaccine exists for the coronavirus yet and it's not likely one will be developed in time to be of any use in this outbreak, for similar reasons to the above. The National Institutes of Health in the US, and Baylor University in Waco, Texas, say they are working on a vaccine based on what they know about coronaviruses in general, using information from the SARS outbreak. But this may take a year or more to develop, according to Pharmaceutical Technology. Currently, governments and health authorities are working to contain the virus and to care for patients who are sick and stop them infecting other people. People who catch the illness are being quarantined in hospitals, where their symptoms can be treated and they will be away from the uninfected public. And airports around the world are putting in place screening measures such as having doctors on-site, taking people's temperatures to check for fevers and using thermal screening to spot those who might be ill (infection causes a raised temperature). However, it can take weeks for symptoms to appear, so there is only a small likelihood that patients will be spotted up in an airport. Is this outbreak an epidemic or a pandemic? The outbreak has not officially been confirmed as either an epidemic or a pandemic yet. This is likely because, despite the global concern, the number of people who have been confirmed to be infected is still relatively low. A pandemic is defined by the World Health Organization as the 'worldwide spread of a new disease'. An epidemic is when a disease takes hold of a smaller community, such as a single country, region or continent. – You can follow BangkokJack on Instagram, Twitter & Reddit. Or join the free mailing list (top right) Please help us continue to bring the REAL NEWS - PayPal Read the full article

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justrae2010 · 8 years ago

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Cool blue eyes scanned up and down him again and Yuuri was helpless to stop the rush of blood flying to his face, skin crawling under the Russian woman’s stern gaze.

His hand stayed empty.

Victor’s mother’s eyes shifted to her son. “This is him?”

Yuuri’s smile fell flat.

In the run up to the wedding, Yuuri finally meets Victor's parents. It doesn't go well.

The hiss of Victor’s shower was still in Yuuri’s ears as he stepped in the bedroom, loose tracksuit bottoms hanging low off his hips. He ran a hand through his wet hair, ruffling it lightly. It had another hour to dry before they met Victor’s parents at the restaurant for dinner.

The thought was mildly terrifying.

Victor’s parents.

Yuuri was finally meeting them after he and Victor had publicly announced their engagement, both flying in from halfway across the world to see their darling son and his beau.

They had dinner reservations for eight at a local Russian restaurant and Yuuri had everything planned to a tee. He was going to wear his best suit, give firm handshakes and a warm smile, and ask for their son’s hand in marriage. Meeting them was already long overdue. Yuuri wanted to make up for that time with an exceptional first impression and impeccable manners. And he was pretty sure that if Victor’s were anywhere near as dramatic as their son, they would love his asking their permission. Victor would adore it.

His stomach churned with nerves, but he was confident in his plan. Ready. He ran over in his head one last time what he was going to say when the sharp buzz of the apartment’s doorbell broke his trail of thought.

Yuuri frowned.

It was too late for the post and their elderly neighbour who sometimes called on them for help was away to visit their grandchildren. They weren’t expecting anything … were they?

Then something clicked. Victor had been buzzing with excitement last week about ordering the new Yuuri body pillow available and it had been due to arrive yesterday. Maybe this was the express delivery for the lateness. The doorbell buzzed again. Victor would be bitterly disappointed if he missed it, Yuuri already imagining the sad down turn of his mouth and the sparkle fading slowly from his drooping crystal gaze...

He bolted for the door.

Stray water droplets ran down his bare chest, dripping from his wet hair but Yuuri didn’t care, yanking open the front door for the deliveryman.

Only it wasn’t a delivery man.

Instead, wide aquamarine eyes the exact same shade as Victor’s stared back at him, framed with long platinum blonde eyelashes that fluttered in surprise. Between the eyes and the long, loose silver curls sitting around her shoulders, there was only one person this woman could be.

Yuuri felt the blood pool on his face as Natalia Nikiforov’s eyes darted down, drinking in his half naked form with a blush dusting her cheeks and something hard-edged flashing through her gaze. A heavy hand settled on her shoulder from behind. The tallest man Yuuri had ever set eyes on stepped up behind his wife, combed back hair dark and flecked with grey with fierce green eyes. A nerve jumped in his square jaw when he saw Yuuri, a light stubble over his chin. Vitaly Nikiforov.

For a moment, Yuuri wondered if it was possible to die of embarrassment, heart seizing up painfully in his chest. He was in nothing but sweatpants. In the back of his head, a snide voice hissed at him to cover himself - with a blanket, hands, anything! - but his body was frozen with shock, refusing to listen.

Natalia’s head cocked to the side, hair rippling like water. “Is Victor here?”

Yuuri squeaked in reply.

Her accent was like Victor’s. Excellent, practised English with the elegant roll of a soft Russian accent, curling around the ‘r’s and with a deliberate allure that Yuuri knew came second nature to Victor now after years of practise with the world's press. Now he knew where the tip had come from.

Heat burned over the bridge of his nose as Vitaly leaned in, angling his ear closer to Yuuri. Yuuri didn’t dare try to speak again, tongue feeling like lead in his mouth. The hand on the door was white knuckled.

“Mama!”

Yuuri barely had time to turn his head before Victor flew past him in a flash of pink, white and silver, naked all but the fluffy towel around his waist. He launched right into his mother’s arms. The pair hugged tight in a clash of silver hair and bright smiles, leather clad arms wrapping tight around Natalia Nikiforov’s only son and all but squealing with delight.

“Vitya!”

Something soft nudged Yuuri’s ankle and he stepped back as Makkachin padded through his feet to woof at Natalia’s heels as Victor was swallowed up in his father’s strong arms.

Yuuri just stood back, shocked. He wondered if he could make it to the bedroom in time to slip a shirt on, before anybody noticed he’d gone. They were all wrapped up in hugged and dog petting, chatting in happy Russian and stepping in from outside the bitter St Petersburg winter chill. Maybe they wouldn’t notice. Maybe he could-

“Mama, Papa,” Victor finally stepped back from his parents with a beam that could rival that of the sun, slinking an arm around Yuuri’s naked waist. “I’d like you meet Yuuri. My fiancee.”

Yuuri’s blood ran cold with horror the moment those blue and green eyes slapped on him, gazes intense and curious. A tiny crease played between Natalia’s eyebrows. That wasn’t a good sign, Yuuri thought. His first impression was all wrong. He’d been a stammering, naked idiot at the door instead of the polite, polished man he’d wanted to present himself to be. He’d been so caught off guard, so surprised, so mortified that he’d greeted his fiancee’s parents in nothing but sweatpants…

He swallowed hard - hoping that Victor’s parents didn’t notice - and forced his lips to curve, trying to settle the mad thump of his heartbeat. It wasn’t over yet, he told himself. He could still claw it back, make a good impression somehow...

Yuuri stuck his hand out, bright smile already plastered perfectly on his face. “Hello, Mrs Nikiforov. It’s great to finally meet you.”

Natalia Nikiforov didn’t move.

Cool blue eyes scanned up and down him again and Yuuri was helpless to stop the rush of blood flying to his face, skin crawling under the Russian woman’s stern gaze.

His hand stayed empty.

Victor’s mother’s eyes shifted to her son. “This is him?”

Yuuri’s smile fell flat.

“I thought Japanese people bowed as a sign of respect.” Victor’s father said over his wife’s shoulder, mouth a tight, thin line on his face.

Yuuri’s heart dropped into his stomach, feeling sick. His mouth opened, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips instinctively, but no words came out. They choked in his throat, Adam’s apple bobbing helplessly as he tried to stammer over the lump lodged in his windpipe. It just kept getting worse.

Victor’s laugh was melodical in his ear but Yuuri didn’t miss the way his fingers tensed slightly at his waist. “Papa, we’re not in Japan.”

The cold stares didn’t ease up.

Yuuri felt like crying with relief when Victor finally cleared his throat and muttered a quick ‘we’ll just go and get changed’. Something stiff radiated from his boyfriend, something uneasy that just made Yuuri’s nerves stand even more on edge. He felt the Russian’s gazes follow him even as he turned, ducking his flaming cheeks out of sight and trailing behind Victor like a retreating puppy with it’s tail between it’s legs.

“Where’s Yuuri’s room?”

He flinched at the question, pinching his eyes shut. When they opened again, they settled right on Victor’s pink face, mouth hanging open.

“H-he and I-”

“We, um, we share a-”

They both spilled at the same time, both stumbling over their words and both looking up to the other with equal shock at what the other was revealing - even though they were stating the same thing. Victor’s eyes were round, looking unusually flustered.

Yuuri could only imagine what he looked like. Slowly, his gaze rolled over his shoulder, neck feeling stiff as he tuned back to Victor’s parents. He didn’t miss the disapproving look they exchanged.

Dinner could not come quick enough.

Victor and Yuuri dressed in record time and they made their way to the restaurant, seated early to their table with one look at Victor and his family. The waitress barely glanced at Yuuri.

He wished the same could be said for Victor’s parents, who seemed to be watching Yuuri out of the corner of their eyes every moment. He fought the urge to loosen his tie. To do so would only draw more unwanted attention, he was sure, already shrinking in his suit and feeling inadequate in his old tie that Victor hated. He was sure his parents must hate it too. They were as exceptionally dressed as their son; Vitaly in a sharp suit and Natalia in an elegant black A-line dress with lace sleeves from her own designer collection.

Yuuri tried to hide behind his menu, pretending that he could read the stylish cyrillic writing with every intention of just ordering exactly the same as Victor to save himself the shame of asking for help.

“You like dogs, Yuuri?”

He blinked up at the question, only just battling down jumping in his seat. He breathed a small sigh of relief when he saw that Natalia’s eyes were softer now, gazing at him politely across the table. Even a small smile played on her lips.

“Um, yes.” he stammered, finally remembering how to speak. “I used to have a poodle.” He wasn’t about to tell them it was named after their son though…

Vitaly raised his eyebrows. “Oh, when you lived in America?”

A flutter of hope ran through Yuuri, noting the slightly warmer tone to Victor’s father's gaze and the way his mother's smile widened. Dog people. Finally, a topic Yuuri was comfortable with, knew was safe territory. Dog people could never be bad people and a very real - albeit still slightly nervous - smile curved on Yuuri’s face

The picture of his beloved pet floated in his mind, calming the fight between his heart and his ribcage. “Actually, he stayed in Japan when I lived in America.”

One of his biggest regrets - not spending more time with Vicchan before he’d died, stuck half way across the world for the sake of his career. It hadn’t been ideal. He would have loved to have been able to spend more time with his beloved pet, like Victor was able to spend with Makkachin.

Obviously Victor’s parents agreed.

Yuuri watched with a plummeting heart as their once brightening expressions sank again, smiles sliding off their faces and the same edge to their gazes chipped back in place.

Natalia’s eyebrows pinched together, exchanging another look with her husband. “That doesn’t seem very responsible…”

Yuuri wished he could disappear.

He didn’t dare say another word after that, hiding behind his menu and picking idly at his food, ears dully tuning into the Russian chatter around the rest of the table. The alien language flowed so effortlessly from the Nikiforov’s tongues, sounding beautiful and pleasantly rustic at the same time. He didn’t know anywhere near enough Russian to keep up, eyes dropping to his dinner instead. He occasionally caught the way Victor’s eyes flickered across the table, ears pricking when his fiancee subtly switched language, trying to steer the conversation back to English for Yuuri’s sake. It didn’t work too well. The Russian swept back in, parents running away with their mother tongue like Yuuri wasn’t even there.

The meal crawled along painfully slowly for Yuuri and he could hardly bear the sympathetic glances Victor slipped him every few minutes. It wasn’t going at all how Yuuri had planned.

He didn’t dare ask now. He was pretty sure that if he did, the answer wouldn’t be what he wanted to hear, would only make it worse somehow…

So he swallowed his words, staying silent.

He sunk away straight to bed when they got home, trying to ignore Victor’s sad gaze bearing into his back as he retreated from the sitting room with defeated steps. As soon as the bedroom door was shut, Yuuri leaned against it, blinking fast. Hot tears pricked in the corners of his eyes, breaths ragged as they drew in short and sharp through his lungs. Fingers ripped through his tie, fumbling to loosen the top button of his shirt tightening around his throat, choking him.

It had all gone wrong. So, so wrong. They hated him. It was official and obvious, from their disapproving expressions, forced smiles, and exchanging looks…

Yuuri wasn’t used to being hated. Yurio’s harsh yelling was one thing, but someone actually hating him - and someone so close to Victor no doubt! - was something new entirely. Guilt churned sickening in his stomach and for a moment, Yuuri wondered if he was going to heavy up the ridiculously expensive dinner that he hadn’t been able to help pay for because he’d idiotically forgotten his wallet. It sat on the bedside table across the room, mocking him.

The back of his hand pressed into his mouth, choking back the sob that threatened to break free. The door wasn’t that thick. They might still hear him-

“He’s not right for you, Vitya.”

Yuuri froze as the words drifted through the door, in Natalia’s beautiful voice rolling over the English words with a thick underlying plea.

“Mama, you don’t know him-”

“We know enough.” Vitaly said firmly. “He’s shown no respect for our culture or heritage, no regard for us as your parents - he doesn’t even speak Russian, Vitya! ”

Every word was said in crisp, flawless English and Yuuri pinched his eyes shut in realisation, the first tear rolling down his cheek. Because they wanted him to hear. They wanted Yuuri to understand exactly what they thought of him, what they thought of their son’s new fiancee...

“He’s got no spine.” Natalia went on. “He didn’t stand up for you or himself once. We weren’t exactly being subtle, Vitya...”

“He broke your heart once before, son...”

“Are you sure he won’t hurt you again?”

“He didn’t even win at the final when you coached him. Are you sure he cared about your coaching? Are you sure he cared about you at all?”

Yuuri blinked down at his ring through his blurred vision, watching the way his hand trembled traitorously.

On the other side of the door, he didn’t hear Victor say anything.

When he woke up the next day - eyes aching from crying - Victor was already gone, a text waiting on his phone to meet them at the Vkusno Cafefor brunch when he was ready. Yuuri swallowed down the message, eyes wandering to the Victor shaped dent in the pillow beside him sadly. For a moment, he wondered if he should go to the cafe or to the airport for the first flight back to Japan.

After a deep breath and a shuddering heart, Yuuri scrunched his eyes shut. He made up his mind quickly, reaching for his phone.

Half an hour later, the bell chimed in Vkusno Cafe.

Yuuri stepped through the door, bell ringing softly above his head as his eyes scanned the cosy little cafe for his fiancee and his parents, swallowing down the last of his fear. He found them quickly, following the quickly fading laughter. Sharp gazes glanced over at him from the corner of the cafe, following Victor’s round, glittering eyes to the door as he paused mid-sentence, mouth hanging open. Half a second later, his parents were just as surprised.

Yuuri’s sleek suit glided smoothly over his skin as he stepped forward, strides strong and confident. His fist was tighter than was probably wise around the colourful flowers clutched in his hand, but it was suddenly the least of his worries as Vitaly rose to his feet from the cafe table, crossing his arms firmly over his broad chest.

It was an intimidating sight, Yuuri’s heart skipping a beat. He stuck firm to his resolve though, taking a deep breath.

“Sir,” he said, swallowing hard and bending at the waist, bowing deep and low but all the while holding Vitaly’s strong eye. “I know I haven’t made the best impression so far. But I want you to know that I love your son. More than anything. I know how special he is. I know I could search the whole world,” his eyes shifted, meeting Victor’s across the table. They were glittering, hand to his mouth. Yuuri’s heart just melted. “Nobody is better than him.”

Victor’s lips tweaked in a smile, and Yuuri flickered one back, but it wasn’t Victor he was trying to impress. Straightening up a fraction, he turned to Natalia and bowed again, offering out the flowers. Apparently Russian’s liked flowers.

After a moment, she gently accepted them. She looked stunned, eyes popped wide with surprise.

“I am learning Russian.” Yuuri went on, standing straight. “I want to learn more about your culture. I am going to win gold at the Grand Prix Final next season for Victor. And I want Victor there with me.”

His heart swelled with every word that spilled from his lips, rambling but voice firm with conviction. His heart was hammering in his chest, sure to catch up with him at some point and break his confident facade, but he prayed it would hold just a little longer. Just until he finished. Until they could understand, see his sincerity.

Natalia Nikiforov was a mirror image of her son, mouth hanging open and eyes glittering like stars, simply stunned. Vitaly still had his composure though, eyes narrowing in challenge.

Yuuri met it squarely.

“So, Vitaly Ivanovich Nikiforov,” he sucked in a deep breath, gathering his strength. “ Могу ли я заставить ваших сыновей вступить в брак?”

It sounded clumsy. Even he could tell how poor his attempt was, sounding nowhere near as melodic and beautiful as when the Nikiforov’s themselves spoke Russian or indeed the Google translate voice, but it was the best he could do with twenty minutes to learn. He just hoped the meaning came across, that the words made sense…

Vitaly’s lips pursed, sharp green eyes crisp. Yuuri’s heart plummeted with dread, sinking like a stone in water. It wasn’t the reaction he’d been hoping for.

“Please say yes.”

The words tumbled from his mouth in English before he could help it, but by that point he was struggling to care. Blood pounded in his ears, starting to sweat behind his collar. His composure was cracking. And if he had to beg for Victor’s hand in marriage, that was exactly what he would do. He would crawl across all of Russia on his hands and knees if he had to.

Vitaly’s arms unfolded from his chest. “No.”

Yuuri’s heart stopped.

His breath hitched and he was pretty sure his horror must be written on his face, eyes feeling so wide that they hurt. And wet. Welling with tears. No, that was not what he wanted. He couldn’t cry now.

“In Russia, we do not say yes to that kind of proposition.” Vitaly went on, stretching out his hand, palm flat.

Handshake.

It took Yuuri half a second to process, but he couldn’t move, frozen in place. He just stared down at the large hand in front of him, heart cracking in his chest. Was this it? One final handshake before Vitaly kicked him out of his son’s life forever? Yuuri didn’t want to shake it. He didn’t want to accept Victor was gone. He couldn’t. He wanted to scream and cry and fight until Victor was back in his arms and his forever.

His gaze flickered back up to Vitaly’s wondering just how the Russian could be so cruel, so mean. It was only then he saw the sparkle in those bright emerald eyes though. He saw light, and warmth, and kindness, and… relief? Lips tweaked in a smile through Vitaly’s greying stubble, leaning forward a fraction to take Yuuri’s hand for himself.

Yuuri sucked in a gasp, lost in the sparkle darting through the Russian’s bright emerald gaze. His fingers were firm and tight around Yuuri’s, his spare hand clapping down on top of their entwined fingers.

“We say да.” Vitaly said.

The echo of their vows still glowed solidly in Victor and Yuuri’s hearts as they walked out the front door of the manor house, still hand in hand and wedding bells chiming joyously overhead. Confetti and cherry blossom petals rained down around them. Cherry blossom petals - like from Hasetsu, Yuuri thought with a grin. Broad smiles lined their path and gravel crunched softly under their shoes.

Natalia Nikiforov threw herself at Yuuri. “Welcome to the family!”

She flung her arms around Yuuri’s neck, knocking the breath out of him in her enthusiasm and making him stagger back a few paces in surprise. He couldn’t help but grin though; so that was where Victor got it from…

Over her shoulder, Yuuri watched Victor embrace his father, lifted clean off his feet by the strong Russian man. His pale face pinched slightly as the air squeezed out of him, but it wasn’t enough to dampen the huge heart-shaped smile on his face. He beamed at Yuuri as they were both finally released, Natalia pressing a parting kiss to Yuuri’s cheek and moving to slip a rose crown - made from the same blue roses that had decorated the chairs for the ceremony - over her son’s head as she and her husband traded places.

Vitaly loomed over Yuuri with a dignified smile but Yuuri just beamed shamelessly, too brimming with happiness to hold it back. He held out his hand to his new father-in-law. His weathered grey-stubbled cheeks flickered a smirk.

“Congratulations.” he said, taking Yuuri’s hand firm and strong. “We’re proud of you.” His eyes glanced over his shoulder towards his giggling wife and son, something warm glowing there when they turned back to Yuuri. “We’re proud of both of you.”

Yuuri hadn’t thought his grin could get and wider, but he was quickly proven wrong, cheeks aching as his smile stretched. “Thank you, sir.”

His heart swelled with joy, hearing the words he’d so desperately wanted to hear from the Russian since the moment he’d found out he’d be meeting them. The ghost of their first meeting was still a little raw. It was quickly becoming the joke of the family, table talk of all the embarrassing things Yuuri had done and said softened with kind laughter and reassuring squeezes of hands. It made him just perfect for Victor, the parents had said. Truly dramatic enough to join the Nikiforov clan.

Yuuri’s gaze shifted slightly, searching for his parents through the crowd and expecting for Vitaly to move on, to be done with him. He was wrong though, the tall Russian man not shifting an inch.

Something sparkled in his eyes - something bright and mischievous. “But as my wife said,” he said in a serious tone, head tipping forward slightly. The tiny gesture made him seem so much taller somehow. Yuuri felt his smile slip, heart skipping a beat. “We’re family now.”

Yuuri barely had the time to gasp before the air was squashed out of him in a bone crushing hug, lifted clean off the ground just as Victor had been. His eyes popped wide over the Russian’s shoulder, catching Victor’s gaze. It sparkled with a smile, beam matched perfectly by his mother’s beside him. Yuuri choked out a laugh, heart thudding back to life. He was proud to be a Nikiforov.

Notes:

“Могу ли я заставить ваших сыновей вступить в брак?” = (Can I have your sons hand in marriage?)

да = Yes

#yoiweddingweek #yoi #wedding #family #meet the parents #fanfic #victor's family #mine

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newsbiteswithjennysok · 6 years ago

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July 1, 2019

1. A Facebook group for current and former border patrol agents erupted with anger after Ocasio-Cortez compared border facilities to Nazi concentration camps. She and a Texas congresswoman, both Hispanic, plan to visit a border station near El Paso. Another proposed a bounty, collected on GoFundMe, for any agent willing to throw a burrito at the pair. Group members posted Photoshopped illustrations of AOC engaging in oral sex with a migrant man and being forced into another sex act with Donald Trump. One member suggested a news photo of a father and child who drowned crossing the Rio Grande was faked. AOC responded on Twitter, “This isn’t about “a few bad eggs.” This is a violent culture,' she said, insisting that she would still visit the border patrol station Monday afternoon. 'They’re threatening violence on members of Congress. How do you think they’re treating caged children+families?' she wrote. Ocasio-Cortez said in a separate tweet that the reported 9.500 members of the 'racist & sexually violent' Facebook group represented 'almost half' of the Customs & Border Protection agents in the United States.

2. Taylor Swift, 29, said on Sunday that she was devastated that her master recordings had been sold off to Scooter Braun when he purchased Swift’s former label in a $300 million deal. “Scooter has stripped me of my life’s work, that I wasn’t given an opportunity to buy,” Swift wrote in the lengthy post. “Essentially, my musical legacy is about to lie in the hands of someone who tried to dismantle it. “For years I asked, pleaded for a chance to own my work,” Swift wrote. “Instead, I was given an opportunity to sign back up to Big Machine Records and ‘earn’ one album back at a time, one for every new one I turned in. ”She also claimed she learned of the deal “as it was announced to the world,” but Big Machine company founder Scott Borchetta claimed Swift misrepresented the truth in her letter. Borchetta said that Swift’s father was a shareholder in Big Machine, and therefore found out about the deal on June 25. He also said he “personally texted” the “Me!” songstress on the evening of Saturday, June 29, so that Swift would hear the news prior to the rest of the world. Swift hasn’t publicly responded to any comments, including Bieber’s, since initially posting her letter on Tumblr.

3. Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright married over the weekend. Every single Vanderpump Rules cast member was a part of the wedding. Well, except for James Kennedy, Raquel Leviss, and Billie Lee, who were not invited, obviously. Other than that, Kentucky was full of Bravolebrities. Katie Maloney served as Brittany’s matron of honor with Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz sharing the “best men” title. Stassi Schroeder, Scheana Marie, Lala Kent, Kristen Doute, and Ariana Madix were a part of the bridal party. SUR manager Peter Madrigal was a groomsman in the wedding along with Lala’s man Randall Emmett. Randall was the one who brought Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd to Kentucky for the weekend, via private jet, of course. It was uncertain if Lisa would attend so soon after the death of her mother, so her appearance was a welcomed surprise for sure. Lance Bass officiated.

4. The scenes currently airing on 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After went down just before Ashley filed for divorce a second time in April 2019. Last week’s episode was particularly rough since Ashley discovered that Jay had intimate relations with a client at his work. So who could blame her for taking some time off? The question is, where did she go? Ashley did announce that she was heading to a wellness center in North Carolina on June 17th for a women’s retreat. This information started to make rounds on social media. Instead, internet users claimed that she was actually in rehab for depression. Ashley was quick to clarify, and Screenrant reported her statement. She said, “I’m taking the steps to better myself and to live a more peaceful life. I have a lot of ways about me that need to change before I can genuinely be happy or hold a happy relationship. I’m struggling more than any of you will ever know. I put on a good face for people.” Ashley revealed that she never got help after her terrifying ordeal at 19 years old. She said, “I was kidnapped and raped in 2005. I am always in fight or flight mode, I am always on edge and I have never ever gone to therapy over it.” As for Jay, he is currently in the country illegally. Ashley withdrew his Adjustment of Status application. Perhaps he should be the one traveling back to the tropics.

5. With more and more lonely people turning to increasingly sophisticated sex dolls for companionship, some employees at Sheri’s Ranch, a legal brothel in Nevada, now argue that this particular fetish might be good for their trade.In an interview with the Daily Star, Lily Lovecraft, a courtesan at the establishment touted by the newspaper as the "world’s largest brothel", described the possibility of catering to the needs of "robot fetishists who have been waiting a lifetime for sexbots to be available" as "terrific". "The future will be an exciting time for the kink community", she said, adding that their establishment is known for "providing a nonjudgmental community with regard to all fetishes and erotic proclivities". "[This means we can add] technosexuality, a desire to have sex with humanoid machines, to the list of fetishes we offer would be a natural progression in my opinion". However, another sex worker, Allissa, did not seem thrilled by the prospect. "A man who becomes too comfortable with a sex doll may alienate himself from healthy sexual experiences with real women, and distance himself from any possibility of a healthy sex life", she argued. "I agree that, under the supervision of an experienced sex worker, sex robots, like other tools, may be helpful to some clients. But it’s a technology with a slippery slope and will require a lot of deliberation before a brothel like Sheri’s Ranch embraces the technology and actually offers sex robots as part of our services". Earlier this year, another courtesan plying her trade at Sheri’s Ranch announced that she started offering "digisexual therapy" to people who are more attracted to sex robots than to other human beings.

6. A woman's review of a vibrator she purchased on Amazon has garnered the attention of thousands of social media users after it was shared to Twitter, causing many to purchase the product to see what all the fuss is about. Twitter user savvvvyd shared a screen shot of the hilariously detailed five-star review that had been written about the Tracy's Dog Clitoral Sucking Vibrator, which retails on Amazon for $52.99. Within the review, the woman revealed that the product 'met and exceeded' her expectations. 'I'm pretty sure i levitated. It was an unending orgasm,' she said.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7200889/Womans-enthusiastic-review-50-vibrator-Amazon-sends-social-media-users-frenzy.html

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voicedbybetheyre · 8 years ago

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My #Trypod Recommendations: #AudioDrama April Edition (Pt.2)

I felt so lazy when I didn’t finish this in time for March. Then #AudioDramaApril came along, which is perfect because this is an underrated audio drama list!

*Feel free to ask for any trigger/content warnings. My memory can be a little spotty but if you have a specific thing you are trying to avoid I’ll definitely make sure to accurately warn show(s) you want to try*

Adventures of Mechabetty

“ Just a small town girl turned giant cyborg to fight off an alien invasion.”

A campy retrofuturistic adventure which teaches you that with enough spunk and can-do attitude you too can deal with colonizers from another world and the following political implications it would have on a Cold War-era Earth! Also, the musical segments they had early on are really rad and the fake commercials that replaced them are the funniest I ever heard done on a podcast. I’ve gotten back to listen to it as part of self-care.

This is one of the most underrated shows out there and I think it’s just that the audience is small at the moment. So here I am listing it first because I really think it’s the first everyone should check out!

The Lesbian Romantic

“The Lesbian Romantic is a weekly podcast with lesbian romance stories. It’s like listening to an audiobook, but more intense! (All episodes of The Lesbian Romantic Podcast are for mature audiences only)”

This podcast is a fantastic anthology series of different serialized lesbian romance stories, written and narrated by the wonderful Sigrid. There’s been an exciting thirteen-part sci-fi adventure (The Space Story) and the long-running story of two women in tech that practically covers moment to moment of their growing relationship (The Blogger Story). Frankly, there aren’t a lot of podcasts where exploring a lesbian (or sapphic) relationship as the primary storyline, and this one is a shining example of the romance genre. There’s a mix of sweetness and suspense that never becomes too sentimental or melodramatic, and I cannot wait for the next story.

Also a lot of the outros involves her being silly and playing around with sound effects and publicly available music,which is another reason to find Sigrid charming, especially after a particularly stressful twist.

This is definitely one of my favorites and it’s so underrated!!!

Mabel

“a podcast about ghosts, family secrets, strange houses, and missed connections.”

There’s a lot that can be said of Mabel, put my instinctive reaction is to categorize it as podcast poetry. These anxious voicemails about a haunted house are unexpectedly atmospheric as the spell of Anna and Mabel’s situation takes hold. (Also……….QUEER!!!). You really need to listen to understand and I would say get to it

Uncanny County

“Mystical truck drivers. Robots gone haywire. Killer clown demons. And pie. So. Much. Pie. This quirky, darkly comic, Southwestern-flavored anthology brings you a new paranormal audio play every month. Sit back, relax, and hold on tight. Because you’re about to take a quick detour…through Uncanny County.”

A collection of Southwestern stories on the quirky side of horror that can be best summed up by the trailer. Basically a less moralistic Twilight Zone that thrives on the absurdly unsettling and I can’t wait for it to come each month!

Favorites (since its an anthology): “Mother Loves You”, “Coulrophobia”, “Rainbow Magic Kittens”

Swings and Roundabouts

“Avery Edison (the person writing this right now) is pretending that she’s written software that turns her computer into a therapist. Obviously, that’s not possible with today’s technology, but it’s a great way to have another voice on her podcast without having to surrender control to an actual human being. With the conceit that these episodes collect recordings of therapy sessions, readings of emails, and tappings of phone calls, Avery (again, that’s me) is attempting to do something new and different. Hopefully along the way she (I) also makes it entertaining.”

Avery Edison is a very self-aware British comidienne who naturally when making a podcast reflecting on her younger days creates a metanarrative to the point where it’s meta about being a metanarrative. You would think the clear construction of her stories from her life would give it too much artificiality, but it only serves to zero in on the truth behind it all. I really wasn’t sure what to expect going in, but come for Avery’s snark (I died hearing her fake ads for podcast sponsers) but stay for Avery’s heart. There’s only been four episodes for awhile now, but it’s been made clear she hasn’t abandoned the series and could use the support to keep it going.

Strange N Unusual Productions

“Our flagship show Friend of the Family, follows the adventures of the young monster hunter Alice Belford and the unforgivable monster she must team up with to defend the world. They… don’t get along. We also have Letters to Asmodeus, a companion piece to FOTF! And the worst advice column ever. Our other major title is the Dark Files, a collection of dark ruminations sometimes funny or twisted.”

What if there’s a story about the typical leading man who happens to be a vampire and more importantly a dick and the story goes out of it’s way to frame him as unsympathetically as possible instead of becoming apologist schlock? What if he trades barbs with the teenaged female lead and it’s explicitly not unresolved sexual tension but the tension that comes from having a soulless vampire bound by a curse to keep you (and the rest of your clan) out of harm’s way no matter how much in reality he really doesn’t care what happens to any of you? Friend of the Family is a biting satire of the paranormal and horror tropes/properties as we culturally accept them. Alice Bedford, who’s an asexual boss, is trying to keep the world safe with (and often in spite of) her amoral tool of a pet vampire Asmodeus. (who also answers questions in a separate series called Letters to Asmodeus). Also on this feed you’ll find The Dark Files (more straightforward horror stories), The Katz Chronicles (a very unconventional detective and his team take care of supernatural situations), and Spooky/Cute (a young witch who’s the worse person I ever loved and her much more empathetic cat).

The Lost Cat

“The Lost Cat Podcast is a twice-monthly podcast detailing the things that have happened to me while searching for my lost cat. Featuring cats, dogs, ghosts, witches, Old Ones, several ends of the world and lots of red wine, I promise that these stories are all mostly true.”

One of the first things that pop out will be its obvious inspiration from Night Vale: town where the surreal is mundane, guy (although not a radio announcer) telling stories of the town, even a wine segment in place of weather (which has the podcast creator A. P. Clarke has admitted was a ripoff to get his own music out there). But this is superficial compared to the actual stories he tells about his quest to find his lost cat, which I think is gives it a more moving premise out of the gate. The narrator is a very empathetic, loving, and always knows when to find himself a break for some booze during whatever antics have come his way. The city he inhabits feels very fleshed out and full of life, and there are certain episodes where I wished I was there myself. The people still feel relatable even when the circumstances they are in seem too out of this world. The writing is definitely more straightforward than Night Vale, but has enough of a feel emotionally to be not just be a British copycat (see what I did there) but a worthy companion because Clarke seems to understand what actually makes a podcast like Night Vale endearing past the obvious narrative devices. Also I tweet at the creator a lot to the point where I think we have a rapport now and he’s really funny so i’d follow him @LostCatPod on Twitter.

Synesthesia Theatre

“Synesthesia Theatre is a podcast project from Burning Brigid Media featuring an anthology series of audio plays, along with interviews with the talent behind the voices.”

The production and acting are phenomenal and I wish this team got more recognition! From steampunk westerns (the riveting ride that is Iron Horses That Can’t Be Broken)to ten years in the future dystopias (the harsh reality of Cold Reboot), this team really delivers with stories using local Chicago actors that act out scenes in the room together to keep the chemistry up. Diversity is a priority (while also being very transparent about someone voicing a character of a different background). The stories are fast-paced and cinematic, so its very easy to get sucked in to its 10ish episodes seasons. Start bingeing!

The Strange Case of Starship Iris

“In 2189, Earth narrowly won a war against extraterrestrials, but at a tremendous price. Two years later, in a distant patch of space, a mysterious explosion kills nearly the entire crew of the science vessel Starship Iris. The only survivor is Violet Liu, an intrepid, sarcastic, terrified biologist. But as Violet struggles to readjust to life after the Iris, questions abound. Was that explosion really an accident? If not, just what is going on? And why does every answer seem to get more bizarre and more dangerous? If Violet and her newfound allies want to untangle the truth, they’ll need courage, brilliance, and luck - and honestly, a couple of drinks.”

I’m so excited by how much the fanbase has been growing for this one. Starship Iris exemplifies the ragtag group of misfits trying to survive an international (possible interplanetary?) conspiracy made by a totalitarian Earth and it’s becoming one of my favorite podcasts ever. Violet Liu is so in over her head as she realizes more and more why the Earth regime has set her up to fail, and the only people who can protect her are a smuggling crew who’s personalities range from cute to caustic. Listen to the first and see how fast you put on the second!

Freed

“Freed is a radio-drama podcast detailing the ramifications a worldwide pandemic has on people and the world as a whole, told through bi-weekly updates from the cozy yet abandoned mountain town of Freed. Learn more about the town’s history, the fall of humanity, and how to help rebuild society. In the meantime, be safe. Be strong. Be alive.”

Raimi Jenner (i.e. wife goals) puts a lot of energy on her radio broadcast into being a ray of sunshine in a, plague-infected world because she’s striving to make a community into her own in the abandoned mountain town of Freed. This leads to contact with a lot of allies and enemies, all complicated characters trying to cope in a destabilized world. They’ve been on a hiatus for the last few months, but hopefully they will be able to get back to episodes when they’re ready! I need to know how my wife is doing!!

Hector Vs the Future

“The world’s largest museum of obsolete technology is threatened with closure unless Hector - its cantankerous, turnkey-operated clockwork curator - can match the popularity of the cutting-edge Uptodateum across the road. Only George - the mild mannered in-house caretaker with the mysterious past - steps up to help him.

Does nobody care about history? Will anyone ever get to ride the NHScalator? How will postboxes, leeches and face-to-face conversation be remembered if the Obsoleteum closes its doors forever? Meanwhile, the Uptodateum has its own problems to deal with, as harried curator Biz and her guileless half-hologram, half-robot assistant Phil struggle to keep their enormous glass-and-touchscreen tower constantly up to date. If only they could work out what to do with their ever- increasing mountain of outdated exhibits…”

This is gut-bustingly dark. If you love Wooden Overcoats, meet it’s even more deranged cousin (which has some of the Wooden Overcoats cast as supporting characters). You would think the bleakness would be too much but it circles back to being absurdly quirky. Hector’s an elderly man-child, George is trying to figure out who he is, Biz struggles with being the most up-to-date version of herself she could possibly bem and Phil is one of the best (half-) robot characters ever written (not that people can stop reminding him what a mistake he is). Also, if you really love Nazi-punching, you might want to check out Episode 3: Hector Vs the Past!

The Elysium Project

“The story follows those who are pulled into the world of a powerful formula that allows it’s subjects to manipulate the world around them based on thought and desire.”

A reboot of a previous project by Natalie Van Sistine, it’s the age old story of superpowered humans given new life as research subjects escape their prison and along with a girl-in-a-tower type struggle with the superpowers they’re forced to have while the political landscape is unraveling around them. So basically it’s my catnip. It’s updated when the creator finds it possible, but it’s always worth the wait!

HOMECOMING

“The first scripted series from Gimlet Media, starring Catherine Keener, Oscar Isaac, David Schwimmer, David Cross, and Amy Sedaris. Homecoming centers on a caseworker at an experimental facility, her ambitious supervisor, and a soldier eager to rejoin civilian life — presented in an enigmatic collage of telephone calls, therapy sessions, and overheard conversations.”

This podcast stands out as one of the most naturalistic I’ve every heard, especially with on-location recording. The performances by A-list actors are amazing and the morally dark-gray experiment is haunting as the ramifications starts to unfold. It’s really hard to describe without spoiling but god do Catherine Kenner and Oscar Isaac rule. Gimlet is not known for audio drama work, but they really it knocked it out of the park with what one review describes as a voyeuristic conspiracy thriller . I would go into more detail but I want to keep this spoiler-free, so check out what’s going on with Heidi Bergman’s psychological program.

Our Fair City

“Our Fair City is a campy, post-apocalyptic audio drama”

Possibly prophetic given America’s current political climate, in an enviromental disaster apocalypse leads an insurance company to morph into a corpo-government. However, not everyone fully buys the propaganda that have shaped generations before and even have these crazy notions of…basic civil rights and human dignity. It’s sprawling cast showcases the very different policies a citizen (or moleperson) of Hartlife can lead in an oppressive all-encompassing system. Also its hilarious? Yes, it’s easier to cope with campy humor. Hartlife is all the life you ever need, so get some!

Junction

“Junction is a slice-of-life, mystery series following four friends during their last summer before college as they podcast about their attempt to find answers for a classmate gone missing in the shadow of a mountain, steeped in local folklore. But personal relationships and blossoming romantic tensions begin to overshadow their goals.”

Junction (made by Bending Spectrum) a show where four high school students trying to do a Serial-type show (or Serial meets the supernatural if they could push that angle in) about a missing classmate during their last few months of high school, yet they keep getting distracted by navigating their personal relationships with each other.

Well, they’re distracted because they’re all queer for each other and frankly when I started this podcast with so little information that I did not see that coming, so this was a pleasant surprise for me! The episodes are pretty short (the longest is about 10 min) but in them are distinct characters struggling to make sense of themselves and each other in a way I found relatable. Give it a listen!

MarsCorp

“MarsCorp is a 12-part scripted comedy podcast about Station Supervisor E.L. Hob’s first year at MarsCorp, a terraforming colony established on the red planet in 2070.”

I love dark comedy and this one is so tragically hilarious(which I seem to have a thing for). This is about a dysfunctional Mars colony and the recently defrosted from her cryogenic pod Earthling manager is here to save them from their own incompetence. The dark absurdity and twisted twists really kept me listening, and the funny moments I don’t want to spoil keep flooding my head as I write this. Also, could someone give David Knight a hug? And maybe never let him go? Let it be a tight hug that goes on forever :’(

Rover Red

“Rover Red is a listener-driven post-apocalyptic epic that follows Leah, a girl who has lived her entire life thinking and being taught that the compound she’s been raised within holds the last of humankind. When her brother, Jonah, is kidnapped, she leaves the compound to search for him. While she’s out searching, the compound is destroyed, leaving Leah alone to travel across a dystopian wasteland in search of her brother. She soon realizes that those inside her compound were not the last humans on earth…”

THIS PODCAST IS KILLING ME

Okay, let me back the hell up. Rover Red is an interactive experience by writer Chrisopher Bloodworth, where listeners who sign up to be the Rover Council (which is free!) can send options in for actions the protagonist Leah can take and then vote for options selected. Also Leah could die. You can kill her and Bloodworth promises the podcast will cease. With the added personal stakes of you contributing to whatever happens to her, it’s terrifying.

As someone who started about halfway through the first season, it’s a satisfying narrative experience catching up on. The world is large, well-crafted, and cruel. Mattie Martin shows her wonderful acting range by voicing pretty much every character (with the one exception of someone else…), and is a prime reason to give it a shot. Like if she doesn’t win some sort of audio award next season i will protest.

Side note: The show-fandom relationship is quality (especially the Discord chat that’s free for anyone to join!!!).

The Once and Future Nerd

“When three high school students from modern-day Pennsylvania find themselves trapped in a world of wizards, elves, and feudal intrigue, they must learn to survive in their new surroundings, and undertake an epic quest to save the world from the encroaching forces of chaos.”

First off: Arlene Redmoor/Gwen forever - I love this (canon!!!!!!!!) relationship so that I was moved to make a playlist showcasing the nuances of it as well as making for what I know is the only erotic fanfic currently available for this show- you’re welcome.

The Once and Future Nerd is one of two sword-and-sorcery high fantasy podcasts I listen to (I prefer and have much more a background knowledge of sci-fi than fantasy) and I think it’s one that really fits for me as a listener. At times its parodical, other times deconstructive, this is written by people who love high fantasy and understand the power of genre while being able to give it a critical look. Both the comedy and the drama are of high caliber to that exceeds expectations (the beginning is a little slow and seems to imply the humor will be more crass than anything, but the show evolves very quickly into something extraordinary). The characters are lovable (yes, even Billy, and not in the way you expect a narrative to sell that you should be sympathetic to him, but that’s a post for another day) and I am so excited for the current season because I’ve missed them. Can’t wait for what’s more to come with this one!

Big Data

“What if someone stole the internet? This comedy crime caper takes 100% real concepts, like the seven keys to the internet, cyber police, relay calls, photocopier black boxes, 419 scams, and more, and turn it into an anthology of nerdy crime stories tied together by a global plan to end the internet. it’s a series of heists, taking place all over the world… ranging from hijacking top secret military satellites, to stealing a dude’s pants. It’s a story about how hacking affects our world… but without a single actual hacker anywhere to be found.”

Ryan Estrada is a genius and frankly I suggest everyone listen to the interview with he did with Radio Drama Revival because he’s one of the medium’s great innovators.

And I’ll be honest. I tried to listen to the first episode, and I didn’t think the humor was my cup of tea, so I didn’t even finish it. Then when the interview came up on my feed, I shrugged and thought why not. Then it saw they were playing the second ep at the top so I huffed and went back to finish the last half, which I found unexpectedly compelling. And then by the second episode I was hooked. It’s part scripted, part improv, and entirely a love letter to the current players in podcasting while maintaining its own story, Big Data is a hilarious, riveting, and at times dark tale of how acting in an entangled world can breed chaos no matter what our intentions are. But fun!

Sable

“There is a town located in the deepest forests of America, a town that many would tell you doesn’t exist. It has seen it’s fair share of oddities, from a being of feathers and bones to a giant that promises doom to all in it’s path. The people there have been hiding a secret for the past 300 years, a secret that might just bring about the end of the world. Join Lane Lloyd as he tells you some of the strangest tales to come out of the town of Sable. From its founding onto today, there has not been a shortage of things to talk about. So, sit down, relax, and see if you can unlock the secrets to Sable.”

I just got to warn that there is a lot of descriptions of capital G Gore but its a very engrossing story narrated by creator Lane Lloyd. Without giving out any spoilers, it’s not immediately clear that the how the different threads quite fit together, even with twists that did give more insight but certainly didn’t explain why things were the way they were, and then it becomes clear. Not to over hype but its been months since that reveal and I’m still reeling. It’s stylistically done in an audiobook-type format (he speaks very clearly but there’s transcripts available for free for those who follow along better). Yet don’t get it twisted: when it comes to character voices, Lane Lloyd gives captivating (and at times chilling) performances that definitely keeps you’re attention.

Oh, and then he does an outro where he just says show news and updates with a stream-of-consciousness approach. Like if the very well-structured horror of the show tensed you up listening to him casually talk afterwards lets you relax again and have a laugh.

The Bridge

”It’s an alternate 2016, and Watchtower 10 sits in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, keeping lonely watch over the Transcontinental Bridge. Each watchtower sits hundreds of feet away from the Bridge, broadcasting regular traffic reports to ensure that proper safety precautions are taken. These lighthouses (for cars) are filled with a carefully selected (and very capable) crew.

Watchtower 10’s necessary personnel happen to be: a generalist DJ who spends her free time relaying folklore from abandoned parts of the Bridge, her supervisor (who’s only there because he lost a bet), an unfailingly optimistic Bridge Travel Agent, and a groundskeeper who has a thing for romantic comedies.

Unbeknownst to the general public (but totally knownst to each watchtower’s crew), these stations also hold a secret that could potentially destroy the world…or save it.

The Bridge is a fictional serialized fantasy podcast about the monsters we fear, the monsters we can become, and the stories we leave behind.“

All I can add to this one is two words: Persnickety Pete. Yes, that’s a word and its become my favorite word in all of the English language. Who is Persnickety Pete? You’re going to have to visit Aqualand by listening.

Part one: x

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morganbelarus · 7 years ago

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Marketing Firm Exactis Leaked a Personal Info Database With 340 Million Records

You've probably never heard of the marketing and data aggregation firm Exactis. But it may well have heard of you. And now there's also a good chance that whatever information the company has about you, it recently leaked onto the public internet, available to any hacker who simply knew where to look.

Earlier this month, security researcher Vinny Troia discovered that Exactis, a data broker based in Palm Coast, Florida, had exposed a database that contained close to 340 million individual records on a publicly accessible server. The haul comprises close to 2 terabytes of data that appears to include personal information on hundreds of millions of American adults, as well as millions of businesses. While the precise number of individuals included in the data isn't clear—and the leak doesn't seem to contain credit card information or Social Security numbers—it does go into minute detail for each individual listed, including phone numbers, home addresses, email addresses, and other highly personal characteristics for every name. The categories range from interests and habits to the number, age, and gender of the person's children.

"It seems like this is a database with pretty much every US citizen in it," says Troia, who is the founder of his own New York-based security company, Night Lion Security. Troia notes that almost every person he's searched for in the database, he's found. And when WIRED asked him to find records for a list of 10 specific people in the database, he very quickly found six of them. "I don’t know where the data is coming from, but it’s one of the most comprehensive collections I’ve ever seen," he says.

In the Open

While it's far from clear if any criminal or malicious hackers have accessed the database, Troia says it would have been easy enough for them to find. Troia himself spotted the database while using the search tool Shodan, which allows researchers to scan for all manner of internet-connected devices. He says he'd been curious about the security of ElasticSearch, a popular type of database that's designed to be easily queried over the internet using just the command line. So he simply used Shodan to search for all ElasticSearch databases visible on publicly accessible servers with American IP addresses. That returned about 7,000 results. As Troia combed through them, he quickly found the Exactis database, unprotected by any firewall.

"I’m not the first person to think of scraping ElasticSearch servers," he says. "I’d be surprised if someone else didn't already have this."

Troia contacted both Exactis and the FBI about his discovery last week, and he says the company has since protected the data so that it's no longer accessible. Exactis did not respond to multiple calls and emails from WIRED asking for comment on its data leak.

Aside from the sheer breadth of the Exactis leak, it may be even more remarkable for its depth: Each record contains entries that go far beyond contact information and public records to include more than 400 variables on a vast range of specific characteristics: whether the person smokes, their religion, whether they have dogs or cats, and interests as varied as scuba diving and plus-size apparel. WIRED independently analyzed a sample of the data Troia shared and confirmed its authenticity, though in some cases the information is outdated or inaccurate.

"I don’t know where the data is coming from, but it’s one of the most comprehensive collections I’ve ever seen."

Vinny Troia, Night Lion Security

While the lack of financial information or Social Security numbers means the database isn't a straightforward tool for identity theft, the depth of personal info nonetheless could help scammers with other forms of social engineering, says Marc Rotenberg, executive director of the nonprofit Electronic Privacy Information Center. "The likelihood of financial fraud is not that great, but the possibility of impersonation or profiling is certainly there," Rotenberg says. He notes that while some of the data is available in public records, much of it appears to be the sort of nonpublic information that data brokers aggregate from sources like magazine subscriptions, credit card transaction data sold by banks, and credit reports. "A lot of this information is now routinely gathered on American consumers," Rotenberg adds.

Without confirmation from Exactis, the precise number of people affected by the data leak remains tough to count. Troia found two versions of Exactis' database, one of which appears to have been newly added during the period he was observing its server. Both contained roughly 340 million records, split into about 230 million records on consumers and 110 million on business contacts. On its website, Exactis boasts that it possesses data on 218 million individuals, including 110 million US households, as well a total of 3.5 billion "consumer, business, and digital records."

"Data is the fuel that powers Exactis," the site reads. "Layer on hundreds of selects including demographic, geographic, lifestyle, interests, and behavioral data to target highly specific audiences with laser-like precision."

A Database Dilemma

Massive leaks of user databases that are accidentally left accessible on the public internet have nearly reached epidemic status, affecting everything from health information to password caches stored by software firms. One particularly prolific researcher, security firm UpGuard's Chris Vickery, has discovered those database leaks again and again, from 93 million Mexican citizens' voter registration records to a list of 2.2 million "high-risk" people suspected of crime or terrorism, known as the World Check Risk Screening database.

But if the Exactis leak does in fact include 230 million people's information, that would make it one of the largest in years, bigger even than 2017's Equifax breach of 145.5 million people's data, though smaller than the Yahoo hack that affected 3 billion accounts, revealed last October. (It's worth emphasizing in the case of the Exactis leak, unlike in those earlier data breaches, the data wasn't necessarily stolen by malicious hackers, only publicly exposed on the internet.) But like the Equifax breach, the vast majority of people included in the Exactis leak likely have no idea they're in the database.

EPIC's Marc Rotenberg argues that the timing of the breach, just after the implementation of Europe's General Data Protection Regulation, highlights the persistent lack of regulation around privacy and data collection in the US. A GDPR-like law in the US, he notes, might not have prevented Exactis from collecting the data it later leaked, but it might have required the company to at least disclose to individuals what sort of data it collects about them and allow them to limit how that data is stored or used.

"If you have a profile on someone, that person should be able to see their profile and limit its use," Rotenberg says. "It’s one thing to subscribe to a magazine. It’s another for a single company to have such a detailed profile of your entire life."

Related Video

Security

How to Protect Yourself After a Massive Corporate Hack

It seems like every time you turn around there's a new breach of personal information. Follow these steps to minimize the damage.

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biofunmy · 5 years ago

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How Chase Bank Chairman Helped the Deposed Shah of Iran Enter the U.S.

One late fall evening 40 years ago, a worn-out white Gulfstream II jet descended over Fort Lauderdale, Fla., carrying a regal but sickly passenger almost no one was expecting.

Crowded aboard were a Republican political operative, a retinue of Iranian military officers, four smelly and hyperactive dogs and Mohammed Reza Pahlavi, the newly deposed shah of Iran.

Yet as the jet touched down, the only one waiting to receive the deposed monarch was a senior executive of Chase Manhattan Bank, which had not only lobbied the White House to admit the former shah but had arranged visas for his entourage, searched out private schools and mansions for his family and helped arrange the Gulfstream to deliver him.

“The Eagle has landed,” Joseph V. Reed Jr., the chief of staff to the bank’s chairman, David Rockefeller, declared in a celebratory meeting at the bank the next morning.

Less than two weeks later, on Nov. 4, 1979, vowing revenge for the admission of the shah to the United States, revolutionary Iranian students seized the American Embassy in Tehran and then held more than 50 Americans — and Washington — hostage for 444 days.

The shah, Washington’s closest ally in the Persian Gulf, had fled Tehran in January 1979 in the face of a burgeoning uprising against his 38 years of iron-fisted rule. Liberals, leftists and religious conservatives were rallying against him. Strikes and demonstrations had shut down Tehran, and his security forces were losing control.

The shah sought refuge in America. But President Jimmy Carter, hoping to forge ties to the new government rising out of the chaos and concerned about the security of the United States Embassy in Tehran, refused him entry for the first 10 months of his exile. Even then, the White House only begrudgingly let him in for medical treatment.

Now, a newly disclosed secret history from the offices of Mr. Rockefeller shows in vivid detail how Chase Manhattan Bank and its well-connected chairman worked behind the scenes to persuade the Carter administration to admit the shah, one of the bank’s most profitable clients.

For Mr. Carter, for the United States and for the Middle East it was an incendiary decision.

The ensuing hostage crisis enabled Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini to consolidate his theocratic rule, started a four-decade conflict between Washington and Tehran that is still roiling the region and helped Ronald Reagan take the White House. To American policymakers, Iran became a parable about the political perils in the fall of a friendly strongman.

Although Mr. Carter complained publicly at the time about the pressure campaign, the full, behind-the-scenes story — laid out in the recently disclosed documents — has never been told.

Mr. Rockefeller’s team called the campaign Project Eagle, after the code name used for the shah. Exploiting clubby networks of power stretching deep into the White House, Mr. Rockefeller mobilized a phalanx of elder statesmen.

They included Henry A. Kissinger, the former secretary of state and the chairman of a Chase advisory board; John J. McCloy, the former commissioner of occupied Germany after World War II and an adviser to eight presidents as well as a future Chase chairman; a Chase executive and former C.I.A. agent, Archibald B. Roosevelt Jr., whose cousin, the C.I.A. agent Kermit Roosevelt Jr., had orchestrated a 1953 coup to keep the shah in power; and Richard M. Helms, a former director of the C.I.A. and former ambassador to Iran.

Charles Francis, a veteran of corporate public affairs who worked for Chase at the time, brought the documents to the attention of The Times.

“Today’s corporate campaigns are demolition derbies compared to this operation,” he said. “It was smooth, smooth, smooth and almost entirely invisible.”

Records of Project Eagle were donated to Yale by Mr. Reed, the campaign’s director. But he deemed the material so potentially embarrassing to his patron that Mr. Reed, who died in 2016, stipulated that the records remain sealed until Mr. Rockefeller’s death. Mr. Rockefeller died in 2017 at the age of 101.

Some of the information may embarrass others as well. Hawkish critics have often faulted Mr. Carter as worrying too much about human rights and thus failing to prop up the shah.

But the papers reveal that the president’s special envoy to Iran had actually urged the country’s generals to use as much deadly force as needed to suppress the revolt, advising them about how to carry out a military takeover to keep the shah in power.

A spokeswoman for Mr. Carter did not respond to requests for comment. A spokesman for Mr. Carter at the time of the crisis was not immediately available.

After the hostages were taken, the Carter administration worked desperately to try to free the captives, and on April 24, 1980, authorized a rescue mission that collapsed in disaster: A helicopter crash in the desert killed eight service members, whose charred bodies were gleefully exhibited by Iranian officials.

The hostage crisis doomed Mr. Carter’s presidency. And the team around Mr. Rockefeller, a lifelong Republican with a dim view of Mr. Carter’s dovish foreign policy, collaborated closely with the Reagan campaign in its efforts to pre-empt and discourage what it derisively labeled an “October surprise” — a pre-election release of the American hostages, the papers show.

The Chase team helped the Reagan campaign gather and spread rumors about possible payoffs to win the release, a propaganda effort that Carter administration officials have said impeded talks to free the captives.

“I had given my all” to thwarting any effort by the Carter officials “to pull off the long-suspected ‘October surprise,’” Mr. Reed wrote in a letter to his family after the election, apparently referring to the Chase effort to track and discourage a hostage release deal. He was later named Mr. Reagan’s ambassador to Morocco.

Mr. Rockefeller then personally lobbied the incoming administration to ensure that its Iran policies protected the bank’s financial interests.

The records indicate that Mr. Rockefeller hoped for the restoration of a version of the deposed government.

At the start of the Iranian upheaval, the papers show, Mr. Kissinger advised Mr. Rockefeller that the probable conclusion would be “a sort of Bonapartist counterrevolution that rallies the pro-Western elements together with what was left of the army.”

Mr. Kissinger, in a recent email, acknowledged that the prediction “reflects my thinking at the time” but said “it was a judgment, not a policy proposal.”

But Mr. Rockefeller evidently continued to advocate for some form of restoration long after the shah fled Tehran.

As late as December 1980, Mr. Rockefeller personally urged the incoming Reagan administration to encourage a counterrevolution by stopping “rug merchant type bargaining” for the hostages and instead taking military action to punish Iran if the hostages were not released. He suggested occupying three Iranian-controlled islands in the Persian Gulf.

“The most likely outcome of this situation is an eventual replacement of the present fanatic Shiite Muslim government, either by a military one or a combination of the military with the civilian democratic leaders,” Mr. Rockefeller argued, according to his talking points for meetings with the Reagan transition team.

An heir to his family’s oil fortune, Mr. Rockefeller styled himself a corporate statesman and personally knew many White House officials, including Mr. Carter. He had known the shah since 1962, socializing with him in New York, Tehran and St. Moritz, Switzerland.

As Tehran’s coffers swelled with oil revenues in the 1970s, Chase formed a joint venture with an Iranian state bank and earned big fees advising the national oil company.

By 1979, the bank had syndicated more than $1.7 billion in loans for Iranian public projects (the equivalent of about $5.8 billion today). The Chase balance sheet held more than $360 million in loans to Iran and more than $500 million in Iranian deposits.

Mr. Rockefeller often insisted that his concern for the shah was purely about Washington’s “prestige and credibility.” It was about “the abandonment of a friend when he needed us most,” he wrote in his memoirs.

His only advocacy for the shah, Mr. Rockefeller wrote, had been in a brief aside to Mr. Carter during an unrelated White House meeting in April 1979.

“I did nothing more, publicly or privately, to influence the administration’s thinking.”

Yet the Project Eagle papers show that Mr. Rockefeller received detailed updates on the risks to Chase’s holdings, and that even his aside to Mr. Carter in April had been planned out the previous day with Mr. Reed, Mr. McCloy and Mr. Kissinger.

Over lunch at the Knickerbocker Club in New York, Mr. Carter’s special envoy to Tehran, Gen. Robert E. Huyser, told the Project Eagle team that he had urged Iran’s top military leaders to kill as many demonstrators as necessary to keep the shah in power.

If shooting over the heads of demonstrators failed to disperse them, “move to focusing on the chests,” General Huyser said he told the Iranian generals, according to minutes of the lunch. “I got stern and noisy with the military,” he added, but in the end, the top general was “gutless.”

Mr. Rockefeller had his own special envoy to try to help the shah: Robert F. Armao, a Republican operative and public relations consultant who had worked for Mr. Rockefeller’s brother Nelson, the former governor of New York and former vice president.

Mr. Armao became one of the shah’s closest advisers, and after Nelson Rockefeller died at the start of 1979, he reported to the Project Eagle team at Chase nearly every day for more than two years.

“Everybody had the hope that there would be a repeat of the 1953 events,” Mr. Armao recalled recently, referring to the American-backed coup that restored the shah the first time he fled.

When the shah’s rule became untenable at the start of 1979, the State Department first turned to David Rockefeller for help relocating the Iranian monarch in the United States.

“Not large enough for my very special client,” Mr. Reed wrote to a Greenwich, Conn., broker who had offered two estates priced at around $2 million each — about $7.4 million today.

But while the shah tarried in Egypt and Morocco, an Iranian mob briefly seized the American Embassy in February. Diplomats warned that admitting the shah risked another assault, and Mr. Carter changed his mind about offering haven.

Mr. Rockefeller refused to deliver this bad news to the shah, afraid that it would hurt the bank by alienating a prized client.

“The risks were too high relating to the CMB position in Iran,” he responded, referring to Chase Manhattan Bank, according to the records.

Instead, Mr. Rockefeller scrambled to find accommodations elsewhere — first in the Bahamas, and then in Mexico — while strategizing with Mr. Kissinger, Mr. McCloy and others about how to persuade the White House to let in the shah.

During a three-day push in April, Mr. Kissinger made a personal appeal to the national security adviser, Zbigniew Brzezinski, and a follow-up phone call to Mr. Carter. Mr. Rockefeller buttonholed the president at the White House.

And in a speech, Mr. Kissinger publicly accused the Carter administration of forcing a loyal ally to sail the world in search of refuge, “like a flying Dutchman looking for a port of call” — the seed of what became a “who lost Iran” campaign theme for the Republicans.

Mr. McCloy flooded the White House with lengthy letters to senior officials, often arguing about the danger of demoralizing other “friendly sovereigns.” “Dear Zbig,” he addressed his old friend Mr. Brzezinski.

Finally, in October, Mr. Reed sent his personal doctor to Cuernavaca, Mexico, “to take a ‘look-see’” at the shah.

He had been hiding a cancer diagnosis. The doctor, Benjamin H. Kean, determined that the shah needed sophisticated treatment within a few weeks — in Mexico, if necessary, Dr. Kean later said he had concluded.

But when Mr. Reed put the doctor in touch with State Department officials, they came away with a different prognosis: that the shah was “at the point of death” and that only a New York hospital “was capable of possibly saving his life,” as Mr. Carter described it at the time to The Times.

With that opening, the Chase team began preparing the flight to Fort Lauderdale.

“When I told the Customs man who the principal was, he almost fainted,” the waiting executive, Eugene Swanzey, reported the next morning.

The plane’s bathroom was malfunctioning. The shah and his wife hunted in vain for a missing videocassette to finish a movie. And their four dogs — a poodle, a collie, a cocker spaniel and a Great Dane — jumped on everyone. The Great Dane “hadn’t been washed in weeks,” Mr. Swanzey said. “The aroma was just terrible.”

When Mr. Reed met the plane on its final arrival in New York, he recalled the next day, the shah seemed to be thinking, “‘At last I am getting into competent hands.’”

But as he checked the shah into New York Hospital, Mr. Reed was circumspect.

“I am the unidentified American,” he told the inquisitive staff.

Mr. Reed, Mr. Rockefeller and Mr. Kissinger met again three days after the hostages were taken.

“Noted was the feeling of indignation as being high and nothing useful to say,” read the minutes.

The White House said the shah had to depart as soon as possible, but Project Eagle continued.

“The ideal place for the Eagle to land,” Mr. Reed wrote to Mr. Armao on Nov. 9, forwarding a brochure for a 350-acre Hudson Valley estate.

A week later, Mr. Rockefeller personally urged Mr. Carter in a phone call to direct the secretary of state to meet with the shah about “the current situation.” Mr. Carter did not and the shah soon departed, for Panama, then Egypt.

Only after the death of the shah, on July 27, 1980, nine months after his landing in Fort Lauderdale, did the Project Eagle team shift to new objectives. One was protecting Mr. Rockefeller from blame for the crisis.

Over roast loin of veal and vintage wine at the exclusive River Club in New York, Mr. Rockefeller and nine others on the team gathered on Aug. 19. Amid discussion of a laudatory biography of the shah by a Berkeley professor that the team had commissioned, some warned that a Rockefeller link to the embassy seizure would be hard to escape.

Why was the shah admitted? “Medical treatment/DR recommended,” one said, using Mr. Rockefeller’s initials, according to minutes of the dinner. “This association cannot be ignored.”

But Mr. Kissinger was reassuring. Congress would never hold an investigation during an election campaign.

“I don’t think we are in trouble any more, David,” Mr. Kissinger told him.

The hostages were released on Inauguration Day, Jan. 20, 1981, and a few days later Mr. Carter’s departing White House counsel called Mr. Rockefeller to inquire about how the release deal affected Chase bank.

“Worked out very well,” Mr. Rockefeller told him, according to his records. “Far better than we had feared.”

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operationrainfall · 6 years ago

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This is Part Two of a Three Part Interview.

If you missed Part One, you can check it out here. Part Three will be published on Friday, January 18.

Rami Ismail is the co-founder (along with Jan Willem “JW” Nijman) of Vlambeer, a Dutch indie studio that erupted onto the indie development scene in 2010. Since that time, he has not only helped create games such as Super Crate Box, Ridiculous Fishing, and (most recently) Nuclear Throne, but he won the GDC 2018 Ambassador Award for his work in supporting independent game development.

On New Year’s Day 2019, he announced on Twitter a new video game project called Meditations. He explained that every day for a year, a new game would appear in the Meditations launcher that would take just a few minutes to complete and would only be available for that day. Once that day passed, a new game by a different creator would take its place in the Meditations launcher.

I reached out to Rami just after the project went live to set up an interview with him, and he agreed to delay the interview for a few days so I could experience several of the different Meditations games available. This interview occurred on January 10, 2019 – or, in other words, after the first ten Meditations games were made available to play. During our time together, we spoke about the origins of Meditations and how he envisioned it to be, the controversy that arose about how the developers were being credited and his reactions to it, if there will be a February 29th game for when Meditations repeats over again next year, and more.

In Part Two, we talk about why almost none of the Meditations games have a title, about the developer credits controversy that erupted almost immediately after Meditations was launched, and how he handled the backlash both introspectively and publicly.

You can check out Rami Ismail at both his and Vlambeer‘s official websites. You can tweet him on Twitter, follow him on Facebook, and subscribe to him on Twitch.

You can download the Meditations launcher for Windows and OSX platforms for free on Meditations’ official website. The official Twitter hashtag for Meditations is #meditationgames.

This interview has been edited for clarity and content.

OR: Throughout this interview so far, we have been referring to various Meditations games by the developer and the date. It appears that with the exception of January 1st [TEMPRES, by Tak], none of them have titles.

RI: Yes.

OR: Is that purposeful?

RI: It is interesting- honestly, it wasn’t. I just never asked for titles. And then none of the developers came with titles. They were free to [write a] description. I think [that] the best way to refer to these [Meditations games] is by developer or by date. One interesting thing about Meditations is that it was intentionally created to have a lot of room for community interaction. We wanted to have the possibility to create discourse- like, a conversation about these games. And we hope[d] that the context and the context of the description would facilitate a closer look at each of these games. Something a little more intimate, a little more meaningful, [but] without the expectation of the game – a lot of times, a lot of discourse around games gets shut down with ‘Oh, it’s just a game’ or ‘It’s just meant to be fun.’ or ‘It’s made for this and this reason.’

Well, for Meditations, one thing that is abundantly clear is that these games have exactly been made for the purpose of introspection. These games have been made to [be thought] about. And we hope that by creating that context, we would create a space for the community to drop in. Beyond access to future games, everything about Meditations is public. You can very easily figure out how the API works, and what it does. Somebody already did and documented it quite well, to be honest. She figured out how all of it works. There is somebody who made a [Twitter] bot that will tweet each day and give credit of who made it, as Meditations does not keep a rolling credit log. Somebody made a [sub]reddit where people can discuss the games. And there’s all sorts of community functions that go on as we speak.

But the thing that I notice about the [sub]reddit is that some people started naming games out of nowhere. Like, they would title a game. On Twitter with the hashtag [OR Note: #meditationgames], we are seeing the same thing, where the game yesterday – somebody was calling it ‘Good Dog’. You know what? Fair enough. People give things names, and I kind of really like that. It was kind of really one of the hopes, but that was not an intentional thing. It just happened.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Even though Rami brought on different developers from all over the world to create the games for Meditations, some of the games have elements in common- even if they convey completely different messages.

For example, January 8th’s Meditation (above) was by Lucas Gullbo. In his Meditation, the player holds down the left mouse button, and drags the mouse to move the dog across the snowy landscape. The right mouse button makes the dog bark, which is needed to move various flocks of birds away so the dog can reach the human at the end. Once the dog arrives at the human, the dog has to bark one final time to end the game as a heart appears by the human.

January 10th’s Meditation (below), by Cullen Dwyer, also involves a dog. The game launches with a grave, and a ghost dog appears. The player uses the arrow keys to have the ghost dog navigate to pick up the baseball, and bring it to the hand to throw. Once the ball is thrown, the player has to go get the ball again. As more and more rounds of fetch are played, both the ghost dog and the hand gradually disappear until there is only the ball left.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

OR: Almost immediately after the project went live, debate emerged about giving the developers credit for the game, [and] to quote you on Twitter: “the project failed to communicate the crediting system to the contributors.” What happened?

RI: So what happened is that it was a miscommunication, mostly. It was one-hundred percent my fault. So what happened is that as I was doing Meditations, I obviously have a specific view on this project. To me, Meditations is this year-long arts project. It is a live performance that is ongoing and evolving as we go. And as we go, we will get a better understanding, we will get a better idea. We will get more context. We will get more. So that’s its own thing. And for me, the idea is that if you do a live performance, just like in any other media, then the credits would be at the end. That you have this performance, then at the end of it, you bring everyone on stage, and this is the people who made it possible.

What I should have done is that I should have made that really clear when people signed up. That this is how it is going to work. The reality is that I failed to do that. And failing to do that, I made it so that these 350+ developers who all have different attitudes to how crediting should work, who have different expectations as to how crediting [their] work, who all are in very different contexts and circumstances, whether it’s economically or in terms of employment or whatever- that they all had their own idea of how this was going to work. And then when the project came out, obviously it turned out that a lot of people disagreed. That there were people in this project who really needed that credit, that participated because now they would be in a giant list with three-hundred-and-sixty-five other developers, which would improve their chance for employment. And some people thought it was just for collaborative art – that there should always be all of the names at the start.

And for me, it was considerations that I was going through – I wanted to make sure that everyone gets equal credit. Everyone gets twenty-four hours of credit in the launcher while their game is up, and then at the end, everyone goes ‘on stage’ and will take a big bow and ta-da! done. And then the project switches to an archive for the next year – the project will loop, but it won’t be the performance, it will be a recording of the performance. That was sort of my high-level philosophy for this project. And then when it turned out that people disagreed, I realized that I made a huge mistake in not communicating. From that point on, and I’m still – by now, it’s resolved philosophically, but it’s not practically resolved.

For the past [ten] days of January, I’ve been working and holding surveys with the contributors, trying to get a solution that’s as representative of the community as a whole as possible. And yesterday, we reached an agreement that was backed by over ninety-percent of the community. Which still isn’t one-hundred, which I will be forever sad about. And I’ll hold myself accountable to that ten-percent. But, I think, you know, given that we didn’t get it right, given that I didn’t get it right on first try, I think this is the best I could do for second try. And I’m proud of the community for getting together and discussing, and rapidly listening to the surveys so we could resolve this as soon as possible with as few people feeling slighted by the project.

[OR Note: Since this this interview was conducted, Rami Ismail has published a list of developers who wished to be credited at the present time online. You can check out the list here.]

“[T]hree-hundred-and-fifty people depend on me getting this right. Three-hundred-and-fifty people placed their trust in me to get this right. So I should get it right. End of story.”

[…]

“It stays impossible to wrap my mind around, right? Because, to me, I’m just the same flawed Rami that I was when I was ten or twelve or fourteen or sixteen. At some point, you have to come terms with the fact that that’s not who you are anymore.”

[…]

“So I try. I try as hard as I can.”

Read more about the developer creditation controversy, and Rami’s response to it, on Page Two —–>

OR: You wrote on your blog in February 2015 that:

“Of course, part of the problem with talking about failure and problems is modern culture, so hell bent on recognizing our relative successes as the one unambiguous truth. An apology is a sign of weakness met with nothing but vitriol, a sincere complaint a reason to attack and bad sales figures are a deep personal embarrassment. We’d rather talk about our successes.”

And you concluded with:

“We need to acknowledge our failures so that we can learn.”

How did all of this [occurring] make you feel? What was going through your mind when all of this started happening?

RI: The first response – I think this is a human thing- but your first response is to always defend yourself, right? And thankfully, I’ve not had to apologize for things that I’ve messed up in my career very often. But its happened before, and you get to recognize that feeling.

And there’s always two things that I try to keep in mind when something happens that requires me to apologize or would make it good for me to apologize. First is this metaphor of the robots.

Have you ever heard of that one?

OR: [I have not.] Could you elaborate please?

RI: So there is this metaphor – there is this YouTube channel called vlogbrothers, and August 2018, they posted this video about a giant robot suit.

And the idea is that on social media, everybody wears the robot suit. And the more visible you are, the bigger the robot suit becomes [and] the most powerful it becomes. One of the tricks about the robot suit is that you can’t see your own robot suit, you can only see other people’s robot suit. So you just think you’re a normal human, and the other person thinks you’re a normal person, but in reality, you’re wearing these armors – the more visible you are, the bigger [the armor] get[s]. If somebody punches at me, and they have very low visibility, then they have a very tiny robot suit. And it might feel and look to me like I just got straight up punched, but the reality is that it is a tiny robot suit and I’m in this Megazord, Power Rangers super robot, and it doesn’t really do much.

If I punch, I bring that same Megazord Super Power Ranger robot to it, and I can flatten a robot, just by the grace of having one-hundred-and-fifty-thousand followers, but also [by] my position in this industry, my visibility in this industry, my network. I’m a person that might be scary to a lot of people. And that’s not something I want, but how do you criticize somebody that, from your point of view, might have the ability to seriously damage your career? I don’t think I could do that, but I know a lot of people think I could do that. And I know I wouldn’t do that, but at the same time, not a lot of people know me on a personal level. So how would they know? So that was the first thing, I had to take a step back and look at things- ‘Okay, I’m getting attacked over something that I thought was good. So, first, let’s keep track of the robot suit.’

The second thing was that a lot of the people involved were basically punching up. It meant that this was important because people were taking risks. I immediately went ‘Okay, something went wrong. Because if things went right, I wouldn’t be getting backlash.’ And I think most people assume I have good intentions? And I hope that I’ve garnered that trust over the years. So if I assume that people assume that I have good intentions, and if I assume that people are only saying this because it’s important, then ‘What went wrong? Where did this problem arise?’

So I started arguing with a number of people, trying to explain my point of view. The primary hope for that is that I would get a better understanding of other people’s point of view. And the backlash can be very overwhelming, and it remains very overwhelming, even after having been in a number of backlashes. It’s always scary.

But I had one advantage, and the advantage was very simple. I had three-hundred-and-fifty people that I wanted to do right by, and I had no doubt that the majority of the backlash I was getting was from people that wanted the exact same thing as me- which was to make sure everything was fair, that everything was equal, that everything was inclusive. And the people angry at me, the people criticizing me, I would look at their Twitter profile and instead of finding overall opinions that I strongly disagreed with, I would find a lot of opinions that I was just like ‘Oh, you and I- we think the same. So I’ve clearly messed up.’ Because, somebody like me, watching this go down, would have probably the same concerns. I just haven’t, because it was me.

So I took a step back, and I argued for a bit. Most of the criticism I got was purely about the crediting. And I actually, one-hundred percent, realiz[ed] that it was my lack of setting expectations that created this situation. And as soon as that was established, I started working on fixing it. Because, if you mess up, you make it right. And even in this case, even if I had believed that I didn’t mess up, three-hundred-and-fifty people are depending on me getting it right.

Three-hundred-and-fifty people depend on me getting it right, not just because its fair to the three-hundred-and-fifty people, but also because, again, one of the ideas for Meditations project as a whole was that you and your experience would not be colored by external influences. And the last thing I wanted was for people to play Meditations thinking the same thing that a lot of people were thinking Red Dead Redemption [2], which was ‘Well, this was created under unfair circumstances.’ So I wanted to make sure that both for the project and for the people and for the community that I got this right. And even though I didn’t get it right, I wanted to make sure that people understood that I was aware [and] that I acknowledged that, that I [also] acknowledged the power imbalance in a lot of that discussion, and that I will get it fixed instead of lashing out.

So there was a lot of thoughts going on in my head. And part of them- it’s just trying to honor the position that a lot of people had given me in this industry. And part of it is just trying to be a good human. And I think it’s both of those fully. Not like fifty percent this and fifty percent that, [but] a hundred percent the one and a hundred percent the other.

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January 9th’s Meditations game was by Kirsten Naidoo. The player has to click on the petal(s) that are off to the side, and match it to where it would fit on the large flowers. As each round of flowers are completed, more flowers blossom on the overall plant, until the plant is fully grown.

OR: You wrote on Twitter on January 3rd and spoke just now a lot about how to handle backlash. You said that it “you’ll also likely find yourself in a panicked state, making decisions that might be less than helpful” and that “your biggest enemy is not the crowd, it’s making rushed decisions in response.” You then gave advice on how to handle receiving backlash by saying to “Stay considerate, search for calmth & understanding, and try and overcome your fight-and-flight” and that “[m]anaging your emotional well-being is critical here.“

It may sound silly, but were you able to take your own advice?

RI: Yeah, I was.

And this is something that came with a lot of practice, I think, over the years. I’ve gotten pretty good at dealing with high pressure environments, and not even from game development, honestly. I think it comes from public speaking. I do a lot of public speaking, and its often in front of a lot of people. One of the weird things about my life that I haven’t realized – in 2015, Arjan Terpstra, a Dutch writer, worked with me and JW to write a book about Vlambeer. He wrote the full history of the company up until that point. And one of the things I never realized, but that he perfectly poked at, was the notion that for both me and JW, we’ve been in the public eye since we were eighteen and twenty [years-old].

And we’ve made every mistake to get where we are today. We’ve made every single one of those mistakes in public. We’ve made them on Twitter. We’ve made them at talks. We’ve made them on the internet. We’ve made them in our games. Every mistake we’ve made has always been a public mistake. It’s never been a secret, it’s never been hidden, it’s never been something we can just quietly resolve. It’s always out there. And it kind of shapes how I think about a lot of things. Everything I do is in this very often public context. From work to my personal life. Most of my life is in the public context. Like, my flight schedule is public. There’s very little – my phone number is on my website. Most of the stuff I do is public.

And I think it sort of like, taught me that the public is not an enemy, but it is also not an ally. It is the public, society. Like, you’re staring at society. You’re just making your mistake[s] in public. And if people that have problems with that – they’re going to take it out on you. But, also, if people don’t like you, they’re going to take it out on you. And if people have political gain through something you do, they’re going to support you. If [not], they are going to attack you. You kind of get used to the dance of things.

And I think in backlash, one of the most critical things that helped calm me down is realizing that the people that were attacking me wanted the same thing as me. Which is that they want things to be fair. They want things to be right. And they want people to be treated with [the] respect and care that they deserve. That was very helpful in sort of calming me. It was also obviously stressful in its own way, because it meant that people that I normally agree with were now opposing me. And you can take that as a personal attack, or you can take that as a sign that you messed up.

And I took it as a sign that I messed up. And you can very quickly pivot to ‘How do I fix it? How do I make it right?’ Because I want to.

Again, three-hundred-and-fifty people depend on me getting this right. Three-hundred-and-fifty people placed their trust in me to get this right. So I should get it right. End of story. This is something that I feel frequently. It’s not just those three-hundred-and-fifty people, it’s the one-hundred-and-fifty-thousand developers on Twitter. It’s also everybody who voted for me in the Ambassador Award before. It’s also all the developers around the world that look to me for advice or that look to me for assistance or look to me as a role model.

It stays impossible to wrap my mind around, right?

Because, to me, I’m just the same flawed Rami that I was when I was ten or twelve or fourteen or sixteen. At some point, you have to come terms with the fact that that’s not who you are anymore. And I don’t know what that makes me, and I don’t know whether that’s right or wrong, and I don’t know whether it’s healthy or unhealthy for the community at large. But at some point, I’ve had to accept that I guide discussion and a lot of people look to me to do things right. So if I want this industry to be as good as possible, if I want this medium to be as good as possible, I should set the right example.

So I try. I try as hard as I can.

The Meditations game images used herein were taken by me, but you can check out the individual Meditations developers at the links included beneath each image set. You can also check out a partial list of all the developers in the project here. The Meditations logo is owned by Rami Ismail.

You can download the Meditations launcher for Windows and OSX platforms for free on Meditations’ official website.

Please look forward to Part Three of my interview with Rami Ismail, which will be published on Friday, January 18.

What do you think of today’s Meditation? Are you participating in the social media discussions around the daily indie games?

Let us know in the comments below!

INTERVIEW: Rami Ismail Discusses Meditations (Part Two) This is Part Two of a Three Part Interview. If you missed Part One, you can check it out…

#Arjan Terpstra #Cullen Dwyer #Kirsten Naiboo #Lucas Gullbo #Meditations #meditations games #Rami Ismail #Vlambeer

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