#'I can't let anyone else get hurt for my sake. I feel bad enough involving you'

[feathertailedcentipede]

I'm very normal anyway I heard eggabell from bugsnax has the same VA as collector toh so I listened to her voicelines again and I'm like. ouuuuuuhgh. sad post canon collector au ideas

[scatterpatter]

"Where's the essay OP" Said no one, and yet here I am

Lampy isn't stupid, he's neruodivergent: a rushed-together masterpost

Disclaimer: I'm not a liscened medical professional but I'm neurodivergent who's close to many neurodivergent people so I know when certain traits strike me as very familiar... Also tblt is my comfort movie I've seen it probably over 100 times, not exaggerating, so if anyone here's an expert on it, it's me.

I'm only going by the first movie because while To The Rescue and Goes To Mars probably have evidence to back me up, I don't feel like sitting down to watch them as I don't have them as memorized as the original

Point #1: Lampy is arguably the most intelligent appliance in the movie

Honestly it apalls me that so many are convinced that Lampy is an idiot when he displays some of the most intelligent traits in the movie. I'll just list off some of the most important scenes that show this

1: When discussing a way to get to the city, Lampy comes up with plans that end up failing, true. But we should also consider that not only did Radio and Toaster come up with bad plans before deciding on the swivel chair, but 2/3 of Lampy's ideas involved the same mechanic: on something with wheels(yes the mattress had wheels for some reason) being powered by Kirby

2: "From here you can see the really big lamp!" This scene is simply due to the appliances being sheltered from the outside world. Lampy displays the same level of naive-ness as everyone else: Radio seems earnest in calling the sun a "really big lamp", and Kirby calls the grass "shag carpet". Lampy is not at a lower intelligence in this scene, he's exactly at the same level as everyone else

3: The scene with the storm really sells his intelligence. The appliances have a rudimentary understanding of electricity, most likely from being appliances, but Lampy displays an excelled level of understanding by sacrificing himself for the battery. He understands that batteries are powered by electricity, lightning is electricity, and by using himself as a lightning rod, he acts as the conductive metal to easily transfer this energy from the bolt to the battery. Technically this should have overcharged and fried the battery but we'll suspend disbelief for the sake of this movie.

4: He knew that stacking the appliances to roughly human height, creating a dark environment with ominous sounds, and putting Toaster at eye-level to scare the human with his own reflection... Again, this is an intelligent understanding of how to scare a human

5: It's unclear on whose idea it was to look up Rob in a phone book, however this shows that not only can Lampy read(most likely picked up from being Rob's reading light), ESPECIALLY when Toaster struggles to read, but also has an understanding of phone books, addresses, and finding humans based on family names. I cannot stress how intelligent this is for a sentient desk lamp

There's a few more minor examples, but these are the biggest cases. Lampy is intelligent.

Point #2: Lampy struggles with social cues and doesn't empathize as easily as others

My biggest point here is when people think neruodivergents are "dumb" for having trouble picking up on things like sarcasm when that just... isn't the case. A few notable examples include:

1: When Air Conditioner says "You're a real bright little lamp", Lampy doesn't pick up the sarcasm and thinks he's being complimented. Though he definitely shows a level of emotional intelligence because he looks to Toaster to confirm "hey I was complimented", sees they're still looking angry, and gets the hint that he was insulted without someone needing to explicitly tell him that, to which he then responds with "Heyyy >:("

2: Sometimes he's able to read the room and pick up on tones, but other times he shows a level of emotional density. Legitimately not knowing if Rob had returned even when seeing Blanky disappointed to the point of near tears... But then knowing "brains wouldnt hurt either" was a jab at their intelligence and reacting with appropriate annoyance... But also when Radio says "Things could be worse!", doesn't realize he's just saying that to make Toaster feel better and asks "How could they be worse?"

3: He bullies Blanky alongside Radio and the others, unclear if he's actually being a jerk or just "oh this is what everyone else is doing so this is the normal way to act", but he's legitimately confused when Toaster tries to explain why they're suddenly being nice to him. He doesn't get the "now I feel better" argument because his argument was "Well you were never this nice to him before". Even when Toaster tries to explain why it feels nice, it just doesn't click... until Toaster finds a way to explain that connects personally to Lampy's own emotional state. He has trouble empathizing until realizing "oh this is like this thing that I feel sometimes"

4: Something I've noticed when gathering evidence is that more than once, Lampy goes "Wow..." After someone gloats about themself(Twice with Radio, once with the Computer). It's clear by the third time, when Radio goes "What does that mean?" And Lampy responds "I don't know. [To Computer] What does that mean?" That he doesn't even know what's being gloated about, let alone why he should be impressed. He has the emotional intelligence to recognize when someone's gloating and the "appropriate" response of amazement, but it seems like it never comes from a place of earnest. (While Neurotypicals can and do engage in "performative" behavior, I tend to notice this way more commonly with neurodivergents)

Also the "wow..." Performative thing is VERY reminiscent of Peridot from Steven Universe(a characters who many autistic fans see themselves in and the creator herself saying she doesn't consider Peridot or any of the gems to be neurotypical) going "wow thanks" as her default "this is how I've been taught to show gratitude" response

Point #3: Miscellaneous traits that could be neurodivergent

These traits COULD be interpreted as neurodivergent, but I will admit they could also be interpreted as something else so like take these with a grain of salt

1: Lampy appears to have sensory needs. When sleeping, he needs to tap a rock a few times(presumably to make sure it's "right") before clonking his head on it. It's interesting because rocks aren't a very "lamp" thing whatsoever, and none of the other appliances look for pillow-ish objects to rest on, so this could be a sensory thing.

2: Lampy has an interesting vocal quirk: repetition of phrases at the beginning and end of a sentence. Instances include "How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?" "All of a sudden you're being so darn nice to him all of a sudden" "The fact is there's just not enough facts" The third one is a bit of a stretch but the first two seem to indicate a possible pattern of speech. Part of me wants to say this could be a verbal tic or some type of verbal stimming, but I've never met anyone who has a tic or stim like this so I can't say it's a neurodivergent thing with confidence, but I wanted to mention this quirk regardless.

3: Physically saying how he feels. Two instances where multiple characters are laughing, Lampy speaks while laughing "That's funny - I'm dying!" "I'm aching with joy!". It's just interesting that no one else speaks while laughing and for whatever reason, Lampy needs to verbalize "Yes I find this very funny" as if simply laughing along isn't enough. I've seen somewhat similar stuff in neurodivergents who have issues expressing emotions implicitly so they state them explicitly instead.

4: I've noticed Lampy isn't touchy... except with Radio. Some neurodivergent people can have issues with physical contact, which could explain that. But I've also noticed that Radio also gives me huge neurodivergent vibes... But more importantly Radio is extremely touchy with everyone, Lampy included, hence them often getting into physical fights but also just- tapping them or wrapping a cord around the other and pulling him close(they're so in love but that's a post on its own). A possible explanation is Lampy having issues with touching others, but either feels comfortable being touchy with Radio(due to emotional bonds and trust) or simply recognizes "Radio likes being touchy so I should be touchy back". A stretch of an argument, I'll admit, but I think the interpretation is there and valid.

In conclusion

I mean idk if Lampy was written to be neurodivergent or if the writers just wanted him to be "quirky" and accidentally gave him a lot of neurodivergent traits, but he reads as very neurodivergent to me(probably autistic or adhd but I'm not a professional and can't diagnose him). But while I can chalk up neruodivergency being one of many possible interpretations of his character, I WILL argue that he's not "stupid" given the evidence we see throughout the movie

Tl;Dr: Lampy is evidently intelligent, but sometimes struggles with social cues, empathy, and overall shows numerous traits of neurodivergency

[yzkhr]

For the entirety of his 20 years of existence, Kudo Shinichi finds himself in one of the most difficult situations.

Everything was going so smoothly. He already had enough clues to figure out who the suspect was. All he needed was evidence to prove his surmises. It was all according to his plans.

Not until the suspect kidnapped Ran.

He should have seen that coming. After all, when the Conan incident ended with his name plastered all over Japanese Television for defeating one of the most notorious criminal organizations in the world, stuff like this happened afterwards.

If they can't target him to shut him up, they'll target the ones he care for. It happened more than once already, but everyone Shinichi knows can defend themselves(he's actually the easiest one to attack).

Hattori Heiji is a fellow detective who can swing a sword really well, Tooyama Kazuha knows Aikido, Masumi Sera is a Jeet Kune Do specialist, his parents are out of the question—or out of the country—, professor Agasa has his inventions, Ai with her scary scientific knowledge, the detective boys' unbeatable luck, Suzuki Sonoko with her boyfriend being the world's strongest security, the FBI and first division are a no go, and even the british detective Hakuba Saguru and phantom thief Kaito Kid can easily fend attackers off.

But the one who's always been the primary victim would be his girlfriend, Mouri Ran. Most of time, he doesn't worry one bit. After all, he knew more than anyone else just how much impact she can do with her karate—the Conan aftermath was proof of his girlfriend's ridiculous strength— and would even be afraid for the criminal, feeling sorry for their battered bodies afterwards. But today was a different matter. Ran was sick and couldn't possibly defend herself in her bad condition.

He believed himself to be a forgiving and understanding man. Being Edogawa Conan taught him a lot of things, including little compassion and sympathy towards even to the most horrible of culprits.

But this man was different. Not only did he involved Ran who had no idea of what's going on, he didn't hesitate, even after knowing she was sick and defenseless.

Shinichi was a kind man through and through, but concerning his innocent and ill girlfriend was a different matter.

Now, he stood on the rooftop of the criminal's twenty floor apartment building, anger barely contained. The man was grinning in that deranged way of his, while holding his girlfriend with a small but clearly sharp knife at her neck. What makes matters worse, was that they're at the very edge, one wrong move and both of them could be flat at the ground, bones broken.

Just from that alone, Shinichi was itching to shoot the man with his pistol but restrained himself. What almost pushed him to doing so however was his girlfriend's tired and pained expression, from her fever and the current predicament.

With the wind blowing furiously, it doesn't take a genius to know that Ran was freezing, specially with her condition.

He blocked out his primitive reaction of shooting the man for now, and willed himself to finish the issue faster, for Ran's sake.

"Listen, you can still go back from this! Just drop the knife and walk away from the edge!"

He shouted, taking two steps towards the two of them. The man only grinned even wider, as if finding something funny about his words.

"Why would I go back there? To just go in jail!? I'd rather die!"

'If you wanna die, then die. Don't take my girl with you!', were the words he wanted to say but decided against it.

Instead, he treaded nearer, trying to look as innocent as possible to not alarm his target.

"You knew what you did was wrong! You'll just have to repent it in prison for a few years! You can't go back from dying!"

The man wasn't having it. He gripped tighter against Ran's neck with his knife getting dangerously close. Shinichi's initial thought was to sprint, but managed to catch himself on time.

"That bitch deserved it you know! She cheated on me when I gave her my everything! I only did what was right for her! What she deserved!"

The man was going crazier by the second. Not that Shinichi could blame him. For all he knew, the suspect was a respectable man who loved his wife very much but it turned out she was cheating on him with another man.

Shinichi couldn't even imagine that happening to him. Even back then as Conan, Ran's faithfulness was so strong that something like cheating or attraction to other men didn't even cross his mind(except with Araide's case, Okita's case and many others).

Still, murder is murder. The husband could have dealt with it in a more rational way but he didn't, causing him to spiral downwards to madness.

Well, Shinichi will most likely go towards the same path as well if he would be unable to save Ran.

"You shouldn't have killed her! She was wrong! Cheating on your partner is stupid and unforgivable! But what you're doing right now is the same! You're only commiting murder! So please, turn yourself in. You can still change."

It seemed to have worked, with the culprit's grin dissipating and his hold on Ran loosening. Shinichi fasten his pace, while the man was still contemplating. But before he can even reach his end goal, the suspect looked at him with vicious but hurt eyes, tears forming.

"You're right. I shouldn't have done something so terrible. But I can't go back now. I can't go to jail."

All the detective could do was to stand there, disheartened by this man's irrationality. He was so close, just a few more steps and it would had been over.

Seeing as the suspect's humanity slipping away, Shinichi tried to take one tentative step at a time.

Before he can even put his right foot in front of him, the man violently shakes Ran, causing Shinichi to froze at his spot.

All his girlfriend could do was slightly whimper, still weak from her fever. The wind wasn't getting any calmer and it was bad for Ran.

"Stop this! Please! Give Ran back to me!"

The desperation was leaking but he didn't care. He was too worried for her to even think of something like pride right now. It wasn't helping that the man was slightly getting unstable from their spot at the edge.

"I'll give your girlfriend back to you in one condition."

The man eyed Shinichi with determined eyes and he didn't like it one bit.

"Call the police right now and tell them that the culprit is my wife's other man."

The detective thought he didn't hear him correctly but the expression on the culprit's face was telling him otherwise.

"Why would I even do that? I'm a detective, my job is to reveal the truth!"

The suspect laughed and the tip of his weapon was now touching his girlfriend's neck. Ran tried to wiggle out from the pain but the man kept her still. Shinichi couldn't do anything but widen his eyes and tried to run at her, only to be stopped by their culprit's daring looks.

"Don't come any closer or I'll slit your girl's throat!"

Seeing his pursuer's conflicted reaction, the suspect's smile was back, even more disturbing than before, lacking of any human compassion he might have had left of him.

"If you know the truth, then you can easily twist it right? You're the great detective Kudo Shinichi! Everyone will believe you!"

"I can't possibly do that!"

Hearing his resolute answer, the culprit slowly averted his eyes towards Ran.

"Not even for you lover?"

He couldn't answer. Because how could he? Choosing between the truth he valued and his most precious person was impossible.

Seconds passed but Shinichi didn't let a word out. He only stared at his girlfriend, with contrast beliefs and emotions swirling in them. The man was getting impatient but before he could speak, a new voice entered.

"Don't do it."

For the first time, Ran spoke. Her voice was hoarse and guttural, but she made sur eit can be heard.

Everything in her body hurts. From her legs that's been almost dangling down the edge, her arms weakly flailing on her side, her stomach wanting to throw up, her entire being physically burning and being cold at the same time. She felt horrible and wanted nothing but to karate chop her kidnapper.

But right now, her focus was on Shinichi, like it has always been whenever they were together. He looked tired, running all the way here from her house where he found out about her disappearance.

He was in deep thought and his eyes were conflicted on what to choose. She knew just how important she was to him, specially after knowing the lengths he had gone through as Conan to protect her. But, she's also aware of his morals and love for the truth.

Ever since they were kids, being a the greatest detective in the world like his idol, Sherlock Holmes had always been Shinichi's biggest dream. It started off as something silly but as they grew older, his dream didn't looked so far away. From all his struggles and successes, Ran was there. She knew all the hard work he put in his job just so he can achieved his childhood wish. She was present in all the steps he took to be this great. To be the Sherlock Holmes of the modern era.

Now, that dream was on the danger of being crushed. If he were to do what the culprit wanted, Shinichi would also lose his chance to achieve his goal. And Ran didn't want that.

"Don't do it."

She said, line more vivid than before.

He didn't know what to say. He wanted to asked her if she was fine, but she clearly wasn't.

"Ran, I-"

"Don't. Please, Shinichi."

He wanted to apologize, because he'll disappoint her with his answer. Yet, he wasn't able to, with Ran not letting him.

She wanted him to choose his morals, but he would lose her. He don't want to—can't—lose her.

However, her next words were what really made his decisions clear.

"Don't lose your dream for me. Please."

Ran wanted to cry but held it in. She needed all her energy for her last move and crying won't save her or anyone.

The man was getting more and more impatient. He waved the knife around blindly, making Shinichi stepped back a little.

Ran wished from the bottom of her heart a distraction could come for her plan to work. But since she didn't have any time, she'll just make one herself.

"You're trying to kill someone innocent. You're not right about anything at all. You're just a killer."

The culprit's attention went to her almost in an instant, fury present in his eyes.

"Silence, woman! Girls like you are all the same with your pretty faces thinking you can get any man! Not being contented with one man who would give his all! Vile! That's what women are! They're vile!"

She wanted to protest, because she's not the same. She'll never be the same. Just the thought of cheating on her lover already makes her want to puke. She would never cheat. After all, Shinichi was enough.

But she had to pretend he wasn't.

"That's right! We're cheaters! Vile people! We never cared about you men at all!"

'What is she doing?'

Shinichi was extremely confused. Ran was obviously lying, trying to provoke the man holding her at a knife point.

'Why would she even try to make someone aggressive when they're in the literal--'

As his mind reached it's conclusion, Shinichi didn't waste any time to move. However, it was a little too late.

The man was already losing his balance himself, making him vulnerable. Ran, with her remaining strength, wished to all gods her plan would work.

Albeit her left arm was tired, she steeled it with everything she got, elbowing the man's stomach and making him instinctively let go of her.

He stumbled forward, while she inevitably stumbled on the opposite direction. Down.

She closed her eyes, succumbing herself to the fall. However, a familiar presence force it to open, and she did.

There, falling with her was the love of her life, who was supposed to be at the rooftop arresting the man. Instead, he was reaching out to her, ready to die.

Suddenly feeling all the pain and tiredness, against her mental protest, she blacked out.

-

It was a good thing Hattori was there when he went back at the office temporarily. His best friend noticed his strange actions and decided to follow him.

Knowing that they were in a pretty tight spot and seeing Ran and the culprit at the edge, the Osakan detective dashed to find a trampoline, in case of the worst case scenario. Fortunately, he managed to hugged Ran's unconscious form and guide her through the unexpected trampoline while falling down.

Shinichi truly owed Hattori this time.

As they walked out the police station hand in hand, Ran looked uneasy. She managed to regain conciousness when they were already at the station, making a witness report. He didn't wanna do it in Ran's condition but he knew he caused enough trouble at them already.

He squeezed her hand, letting her look at his direction.

"Is there something wrong? Don't worry we'll get home soon and you can get some rest."

Ran's eyes slightly widened at his words. She then smiled, but it was strained.

Worry taking over him, he put his forehead on hers, feeling her hot one.

Ran instinctively blushed and tried to pushed him away. However, being stubborn had always been Shinichi's strongest points, so he didn't backed down. Instead, he asked.

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

With such a soft and gentle way of questioning, Ran couldn't help but give in and let her hands go to both sides of his handsome face,feeling his skin under her warm—felt cold to her—fingertips. Then, she breathed heavily before speaking.

"What you did was reckless. You shouldn't have jumped after me."

Shinichi regarded her a confused look.

"What wouldn't I? I didn't know Hattori was there. So I thought you would really--"

"Still, you shouldn't have done that. What if Hattori-kun wasn't there?"

"Then we would both die."

He spoke in such a calm and nonchalant manner making Ran annoyed at him not getting her point. She bunped him lightly,making Shinichi backed a little bit away.

"Ouch! What did you that for?"

"Because you were being dumb! You could have died back there Shinichi!"

He returned his forehead against her, leaning again. He closed his eyes this time, looking peaceful, like they weren't in the brink of death just a while ago.

"I could have. But so were you."

His voice was laced with pain, specially at the last part. Tears gathered around her violet irises but she willed for them not fall.

"You have a dream Shinichi. You had it since you were little."

He nodded at her words, still looking unbothered even with the confirmation. Frustrated, she continued on.

"You would have killed yourself back there. Why didn't you listen to me? I told you didn't I? Don't give up your dream for me."

He smiled, catching her off guard. It was so sincere and bright that Ran wanted to step away. When she was about to do so however, he encircled his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as much as possible.

She opened her mouth, ready to reason out but was beaten by his answer.

"You told me to not give up my dream for you but,"

His next words left her breathless, tears finally cascading down her soft cheek.

"You are my dream, Ran."

-

I wrote this instead of sleeping, forgive me for its lameness.

[punkscowardschampions]

Amelia & Jac

Amelia: My mum heard wrong and you're actually okay, right? Jac: I am now Amelia: but it was you Jac: me and half of Dublin Amelia: I could care less about about 3/4 of this town Jac: generous, a whole 1/4 Amelia: you know what I mean Jac: yeah Jac: your maths isn't that shocking Amelia: what happened? Jac: what do you mean Jac: I didn't accidentally swallow my mouthwash or something Jac: you know how it goes Amelia: alright, why did it happen? Jac: It was new years Jac: simple as Amelia: you don't give a shit about New Year's Amelia: or anything else right now Jac: I was feeling festive Amelia: because? Jac: because it's the reason for the season? idk Amelia: you're really going to make me figure it out? okay Jac: there's fuck all to figure out Jac: you've got drunk, you know why Amelia: What did she do? Jac: which nurse was it that told your mum Jac: or was it a receptionist, they're the fucking worst Amelia: answer my question so I don't have to go on her profile Jac: go ahead and look Jac: you won't be surprised, no one else is Amelia: [does so a pause] Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: I knew anyway Jac: well, was 99% sure Jac: but then that 1% went so Amelia: You could've called me Amelia: nobody on the gossip grapevine even knows the lad who brought you in Jac: I very much couldn't Jac: I was passed out Jac: so me either, the thank you note will sit here unsent, like Amelia: before, I mean Amelia: she didn't post that last night Jac: it was Christmas Amelia: so? Jac: a time for family Amelia: you used to be Amelia: basically Jac: well that's just weird Amelia: again, you know what I mean Jac: not acceptable to float your incest fantasies just 'cos you've got no siblings to go there with Amelia: ugh, shut up Jac: works for me Amelia: no, it doesn't Jac: ask anyone Jac: I've had a very relaxing break Amelia: none of this is working for you, that's why you ended up in hospital Amelia: for fuck's sake Jac: that was the tequila Amelia: none of this is funny Jac: what do want me to say? Amelia: quite literally anything that isn't a pisstake Amelia: that's how low my bar is now Jac: I got drunk, it isn't the drama your mum and whoever the fuck is making it out to be Amelia: it isn't a drama that you got so drunk you had to be medically emptied out after being brought in by a stranger, no of course not Amelia: anything could have happened to you but why the fuck would that matter Jac: clearly I was surrounded by nice people Jac: I wasn't in a crack den Amelia: you wouldn't tell me if you were Amelia: unless you had a joke you could make out of it Jac: I appreciate that you find me so amusing Jac: I'm not making jokes, there is just nothing to actually be said about any of it Amelia: Fine, we'll go back to not talking Jac: don't let me ruin your good time Amelia: it's a bit late for that advice, thanks anyway Jac: amazing Jac: way to make my hospital stay about you Amelia: how could I? It's all about Savannah fucking Moore, as always Jac: so you wanted to be the one I drank myself into a coma for Jac: I'm so sorry Jac: I'll try again next time and leave a note shouting you out Amelia: no you won't, because that would involve telling people about me Amelia: I might as well not exist Jac: 'cos I'm going around telling EVERYONE that this is about her Amelia: it's never been any secret how I feel about you or that I need you even though you don't need me Amelia: and you could've fucking died or something Jac: seriously Amelia: yeah Jac: it's bullshit if you actually believe that Jac: and you're not just saying it Amelia: all of this is bullshit Jac: I'm a fucking mess Jac: I hit you up all the time Jac: why do you need me to spell it out to you Jac: hire a fucking skywriter Amelia: none of it matters because when things actually matter, like this, you don't Jac: because I'm not fucking okay Jac: that doesn't mean that I don't those other times Amelia: I know that Jac: you clearly don't Jac: it means nothing Jac: then fuck it Amelia: it doesn't mean nothing Jac: it's so fucking Jac: infuriating Jac: I haven't talked to anyone else in person for so long Jac: and I barely do it in writing now either Jac: don't pretend you don't know that means something just to fit your narrative Amelia: what to do want me to say? or do? Amelia: I've spent ages worried about you even before this and there's nobody I can talk about it with because you won't Amelia: I don't get to be upset because it's Christmas and we're not friends and I'm over it, that's the narrative for everybody else Amelia: then I hear this and it's no big deal to you, apparently Jac: just not be so fucking dense Jac: at least when you're talking to me, you don't need to pretend that now Jac: what would you like me to say? how fucking vile it was having to bring up my entire stomach contents, what it smelt like? how terrifying it was to be there on my own? Jac: or what can I do for you now? start sobbing about how out of control my life is, repent, promise to change and be different? Amelia: I've already lost you once because of her, I can't do it again Amelia: especially not like that Jac: I can't stop loving her Jac: I can't stop it hurting Jac: all of us Amelia: I can't stop loving you Amelia: and she isn't going to force me to when she isn't even fucking here Jac: There's no point blaming her Jac: if she didn't know, before I showed her how I felt Jac: she didn't know about you and me Amelia: and you think I'm dense Jac: I don't think she's perfect Jac: not completely Amelia: it's progress Jac: shut up Jac: I'm sorry, alright, I wouldn't have told you, you wouldn't have needed to be worried Amelia: I'm worried by all the things you don't tell me Amelia: where you go and what you do when you're not 'hitting me up' Jac: it's not as if you'd wanna hear it though Jac: you want me to stop, like everyone does Jac: but I just Jac: I can't Amelia: I don't want to hear it because I know it's not what you really want Jac: I can't have what I want Amelia: you can't have her, it doesn't mean you have to have that Jac: None of it was real Jac: but it doesn't erase all that time, what was said and done and felt Jac: not for me Amelia: of course it doesn't Jac: it's like I'm trapped Jac: I can't go back but I'm just left here, she's left me here and all of the things we were going to do and be together aren't going to happen Jac: I'm not going to be that person but I'm not the same as before Amelia: it's like she killed you, you have to grieve Jac: I don't like who I am now Jac: without her Amelia: you said it, you're a mess Amelia: not much about that for a virgo to like Jac: this is just another day in the life for you is it Jac: 🦂 Amelia: it's not about me Amelia: how you feel about you Jac: it's no secret I CLEARLY hate myself Amelia: it'd be the worst kept secret ever if it was Jac: so yeah, it's nice to flip the script, have people think maybe I hate them instead Jac: I ruined Christmas because I hate you all, like, yeah, fine Amelia: maybe Cammie's brothers are little enough to fall for it Jac: it's surprising how effective playing at being a coma patient is for the cause Amelia: everyone knows you're hurting instead of hating Jac: alright Jac: sounding like a cringe 90s rnb love song is not cute Amelia: I'm not cute today Jac: have you got your serious face on to match your tone Amelia: my parents have and if you can't beat them, join them Jac: did your nan say something homophobic and they forgot to call her out on your behalf? Amelia: I'm grounded because of what you did, that's what passes for logic in this 🏠 Amelia: they haven't stopped talking about it or trying to overhaul my life Jac: oh great Jac: I'll not be able to see you too now Amelia: they've told me to stay in, they can't make me Amelia: you can see me whenever you want to Jac: your parents are actually sensible, if leaning towards over-protective Jac: they'll get a restraining order Jac: or me sectioned, if they can really sell it Amelia: they don't know about us Amelia: you're fine Jac: they know they don't want you being my friend Amelia: they don't want me getting hospitalised, that's all Amelia: they know if we were still friends I'd look after you and vice versa Jac: it isn't catching, it's alcohol poisoning Jac: can we go to the beach Jac: we've obviously missed the official swim but I want to Amelia: they did run out of Christmas drinks because I never got around to replacing what we stole and I did have to take sole blame, so that's where they think I'm heading Amelia: but yeah, we can go to the beach Jac: their friends always could put it away Amelia: and I wasn't even drunk last night Amelia: because I'd already had a lecture Jac: how drunk did you get on Christmas day then Amelia: it's not my fault they all stop at a couple of glasses Amelia: or want to my life a competition vs the child or children of every single person my parents know Amelia: 🥱🙄 Jac: you didn't know miracle was a lifetime obligation as well as a fancy title? Jac: gutted Amelia: did I hit you up, no, therefore I CLEARLY wasn't drunk enough Jac: Charming Amelia: 😏 Jac: you know, when I get drunk, I make really bad choices/nearly die Amelia: not always Amelia: and I might've given my cousin my phone so I didn't send you anything, okay? I'm that 😳🤓 Jac: She blatantly wanted to nose at all your private texts anyway Jac: I wouldn't trust any of mine as far as I can throw them Amelia: she'd have to steal my fingerprint, I definitely wasn't that drunk Jac: don't you delete them after? Jac: amateur Amelia: what would I do when you aren't talking to me if I did, read a book? Jac: you're quick with the recommendations for me, so yeah Amelia: I get enough migraines without encouraging them Jac: 😏 Jac: we definitely shouldn't be friends then Amelia: that's not even in the top 10 of reasons why we shouldn't Jac: again, so polite Amelia: come on, you know I'll break any amount of rules Jac: it's not supposed to be adding to the fun of it, like Amelia: fuck supposed to as well Jac: alright Jac: but I ain't going out and getting drunk tonight Jac: I feel inside out still Amelia: what do you want to do then? Jac: I don't know Jac: let's just start with the beach and I'll see Amelia: okay Jac: what do you wanna do Amelia: I only give a shit about seeing you Jac: It might take me a while to get out Jac: goes without saying I'm more than grounded Jac: one pair of 👀 on me at all times Amelia: that kind of wait won't kill me Jac: alright Jac: I'll think of something Amelia: remember a coat this time, yeah? Amelia: I can't lend you any more without literally taking the one off my own back Jac: oh no Amelia: you didn't nearly die in my coat, did you? Jac: I was wearing it Jac: but I don't have it now Amelia: oh Jac: I do remember where I was, I wasn't that gone when I arrived Jac: but I don't wanna go back, I can give you the address? Amelia: do I want to go there or should I just hit the sales? Jac: yeah Jac: consider it a late christmas present? Amelia: wait, my late Christmas present isn't that you didn't die? Jac: you're glad, aren't you, that's a gift Jac: but I also meant money for a coat, that's only fair, if anything Amelia: I can afford my own replacement coat Jac: alright Jac: but I did lose it Amelia: I lent it to you, if it was that precious to me, I wouldn't have Amelia: and my mum will be thrilled I'm asking to go shopping Jac: yeah, true enough Jac: what did you get her for christmas? Amelia: [something her basic mum would actually love because she only had to buy for her parents so might as well go in] Jac: wow, daughter of the year much Amelia: I'm their only daughter, there's no contest Jac: all I got mine was a nervous breakdown so you know Amelia: I did that last year, you know, before it was cool Jac: 🤓 Amelia: I'm sorry that you didn't invent pining Jac: I'm not pining though, you can have that Amelia: I don't want it Jac: I'm sorry you invented pining Amelia: I didn't, I just happen to be amazing at it Jac: or bad at it, depending on your outlook Amelia: well yeah Jac: I look awful Amelia: how do you feel? Jac: awful Jac: at least there's no disparity there Amelia: you've nailed it, along with the majority Jac: start as the year will go on, no matter my intentions or otherwise Jac: fucking hell Amelia: I look great, you've been warned Jac: 😂 Amelia: 👧🏻 Jac: at least it isn't bowl-esque now Jac: like your xmas throwback Amelia: I knew you'd like that Jac: that santa is creepy looking though Jac: your face says it all Amelia: 😂 Jac: how likely do you think any of my siblings are to cover for me right now Amelia: 🤔 very unlikely Jac: distract and run it is Amelia: can you even 🏃 the state you're in? Jac: They gave me IV, I'm technically in my prime, thank you Amelia: carry on Jac: you don't have to come Amelia: I want to though Jac: alright Amelia: okay Jac: [I think she should ask Jesse to cover but whatever the outcome of that convo let us say you do get out somehow and you can go to the beach] Amelia: [yeah even if he won't, find a way gal] Jac: [have your nice moment] Amelia: [it's deserved, well not really because you ruined christmas and new year's but Savannah ruined everything first so it kind of is lol] Jac: [it's what being a teen is all about henny] Amelia: [not this teen, I was a goody two shoes] Jac: [my boo is too good she would never lmao, I did so] Jac: [I think they should have a nice time but then someone/someone's parents is at the beach so she's like well bye] Amelia: [that's very valid because you lowkey wouldn't be able to go anywhere without seeing someone either they know from school or Amelia's parents know the parents of] Jac: [exactly, it's an easy way to end things before anything really has to be said or done so tah everyone] Amelia: [I hope you're both going home, we don't need any more drama immediately] Jac: [my boo says get your ass back home] Amelia: [mhmm] Jac: [she has nowhere to be so I'm sure she's going back to bed lol] Amelia: [get your arse back home too Amelia even though I'm sure that girl has text you at Christmas and New Year's] Jac: [at least you weren't at the beach gal] Amelia: [I 100% vote you do see her when school starts though even though she in the year above and would have to seek you out lol] Jac: [my boo says let her have it] Amelia: [we do love the jealousy always] Jac: [mhmm] Amelia: [not letting you date her though because she actually seems to like you so that'd be rude] Jac: [only jac and savannah can do that lol] Amelia: [Savannah do like this boy cos he reminds her of Jac remember LOL] Jac: [lmao]

[gracie-p8-officialblog]

Spilling Tea On Phantom of the Opera 2004

DISCLAIMER: I just want to say from the start that it is not my intention to offendanyone, you're entitled to your opinions and I'm allowed to have mine...

Ok, so, I just watched this movie a few days ago on my laptop and it was pretty much my first time sitting through the movie. I watched a few clips of the movie on YouTube but... Then, I decided to watch the whole movie. And this was my reaction.

Don't get me wrong! There WERE parts I liked but... That was just half of the movie... But overall... Um... It was meh. Ahem. Down to business!

My opinion on Gerard Butler as the Phantom? Um, wow. And not in a good way. I feel like this was a case of a talented performer being grossly miscast as the Phantom. I think this Tumblr post best describes on what I thought of his singing.

"He's supposed to have the voice of an angel, but it sounds like he's been gargling vinegar" ~Quoted by @faded-florals

Don't get me wrong. His voice is quite good for an untrained singer but... The Phantom is one of the biggest musical theatre roles of all time! It's right up there with Jean Valjean. It's really not a role that could go a competent singer, someone who's never sang professionally before but could be good once they've been trained up a bit. The role demands a truly great singer... And he wasn't right for the part.

His voice felt too strainy, growly and rock-ish for the Phantom. I didn't like how Joel Schumacher bought into the whole "sexy Phantom" thing and cast a hunky heart-throb, who was nowhere near disfigured enough. It's meant to be a gothic thriller novel with a small romantic subplot, not a B-grade vampire romance movie!

As for Emmy Rossum as Miss Christine Daae... it's true, her voice is good. She should know though, should she wish to excel, she has MUCH still to learn (Heeeeehee. Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

Emmy's Christine had little-to-no character growth and personality but I don't think it reflects her as an actress, but reflects more on the director and casting director because of how young she was (but more on that later)

Not only that, her Christine was SIGNIFICANTLY dumbed down and oversexualized. I mean, the entire point of the story is that Christine grows strong enough to overcome the trauma of an abusive relationship and make sure that her abuser never hurts anyone ever again but still shows the Phantom compassion and sympathy. I mean, her story arc is her becoming strong-willed enough to overcome the Phantom's pull/spell/enchantment/hypnosis or whatever you percieve it as on her! And don't get me started on her costumes because of the SEVERE lack of modesty.

The chemistry was a little flat because she was underage and her two male love interests were both in their 30s (which totally isn't HER fault, of course, but the directors could easily have cast someone else older)

Her voice, too, strikes me as being much too young and undeveloped. She has a very pretty, sweet-sounding quality to her singing but she doesn't sound rich and operatic enough to be a convincing Christine. Rebecca Caine and Amy Manford do the best job of singing the way I think Christine ought to sound- a maturing opera voice! Though POTO is NOT an opera (you wouldn't believe how many people actually think it is...), it does revolve around opera, and Christine is an opera singer, not a pop star.

And now onto... Everyone's favourite vicomte!!!!!!

C'mon people, put your bottles down. It is a truth universally acknowledged (or at least in the wee Raoul Defense Squad Circle) that Raoul is one of the greatest and most underrated boyfriends to ever exist in musical theatre and it's almost impossible to hate him because of how relatable he is.

Ladies, puh-leeze. He's much more relatable than you admit and face it, we all have a little bit of Raoul in us. Failure to see things staring us in the face, saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, having a 'see it to believe it' attitude when we have little-to-no evidence on something... yeah, don't pretend you don't see a trend. Raoul is relatable whether we want him to be or not.

My thoughts on Patrick Wilson as Raoul, he was one of the few redeeming qualities of this not so great movie. Yeah, the swordfight and Tarzan leaps were a little too much but can you blame him?! And though I feel like that foppish wig made him look more like a magic elf prince than a vicomte, he couldn't control that!

His Raoul was so gentle and caring! Yeah, his acting was a bit stiff but at least his voice wasn't a chore to listen to, it has this warm, tender, comforting quality to it which suits Raoul. I really loved the way he sang "Don't throw away your life for my sake" and "I fought so hard to free you" in the Final Lair (😭😭😭) It feels like Raoul is genuinely apologising to Christine.

I know, I know... The Hadley Fraser fans are approaching with menacing expressions as we speak but let me clarify. I still think Hadley is amazing but... His Raoul kinda felt a little too shouty for me and his Raoul was closer to the LND-canon than POTO-canon (not his fault though).

Miranda Richardson (aka. Rita Skeeter) as Madame Giry is kind of weird. I mean, I know Madame Giry's supposed to be a little Strange and Mysterious. But this Mme. wasn't really Strange or Mysterious at all, or even slightly Spooky at all. She was just kind of an oddball. Popping up in random places to give warnings about the Phantom and looking at people as if she were questioning their life choices or something. As for her daughter... well, Jennifer Ellison's Meg was so-so. She's got a sweet-sounding voice and that added scene where she looked for Christine in the lair was a nice touch... But... Her Meg was kinda forgettable and uninteresting. Meg is supposed to prance around shrieking that the Phantom of the Opera is here, not whisper it in a blase manner that you half expect to be followed up with, "by the way, what's for lunch?" Not to mention, she rivaled Christine as far as low-necked costumes went.

Minnie Driver as Carlotta was spot on! Yes, I know she didn't sing the score but her acting was alright. She was very over-the-top and self-centered, which is great for Carlotta, but I felt her portrayal was a little too childish to be accurate. Carlotta is a successful middle-aged diva who's willing to scream and storm when she doesn't get her way, but she isn't a two-year-old pouting and throwing tantrums. (Yes, there's a difference.)

Ciaran Hinds and Simon Callow played Firmin and Andre, respectively. Their managers kinda felt like twits and nothing more. Also, Firmin's masquerade costume was ridiculous. The stupid kind, not the funny kind. ...Well, okay, it was a little funny.

I'm not going to touch on every song here, but I will say that "Hannibal" was beyond awful (if you thought the costumes in the stage version were a bit risque, you should see the movie ones- no, actually you shouldn't) and that "Think of Me," while very nice, was not particularly memorable. Christine's dress, however (despite its less-than-ideal neckline) was GORGEOUS, even though it looks completely out of place in a musical that supposedly takes place in ancient Alexandria.

"Little Lotte" kinda lost its charm by being spoken instead of sung. And Gerard Butler's voice in "The Mirror" was too rough and raspy for my ears and made me cringe in sympathetic shame. The title song was like a cheesy, campy B-grade horror movie tbh, trying way too hard to be spooky and chilling ("ooh, look, Phantom's Lair! It's DARK and SCARY down here!") and succeeding only in being cringeworthy. Not that I've actually ever seen a bad horror movie- or any horror movie at all, for that matter. Unless you count this one.

Christine's costume, too, annoyed me no end. She was basically wearing a corset and drawers under the dressing gown. *facepalm* The dressing gown is supposed to go OVER your COSTUME to keep it CLEAN, peeps. It's not a BATHROBE. And the amount of eye makeup she had on would terrify a raccoon. Yikes.

Though I liked the random horse because of its nod to the Leroux novel.

"Music of the Night" was so blah-slash-touchy-feely that it made me summarily uncomfortable.

I'd like to be able to say something nice about "I remember/Stranger than you dreamt it" but I have none. One thing that bugged me to no end was how Christine is no longer wearing stockings, like dude, that gives some GROSS implications. Anyways, let's skip to Il Muto!

Oh, but first I should say that "Notes" was rather a flop and that "Prima Donna" is unmemorable and indeed should probably be fast-forwarded as there's a rather unsavory bit involving a crew member showing the audience what he thinks of Carlotta's behaviour.

"Il Muto," I must say, was pretty doggone funny. Carlotta's "Your part is silent. Leetle toad," cracked me up into a bunch of giggling little pieces, and the little vignette of the Phantom tinkering with Carlotta's throat spray made her croaking later on a lot more believable.

Now for "All I Ask Of You", SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I honestly can't understand how anyone could listen to this song and still maintain that Christine and Raoul don't belong together. He represents everything she needs- stability, protection, a guiding hand and affirmed affection. She represents everything he needs, in turn- someone to show affection to and his childhood friend.

One thing I definitely think could have been left out was the scene in which Erik kills Buquet- we totally did not need to see him being chased, terrified, through the rafters and finally strangled. Gross.

And the Phantom and his rose crouching behind that statue... I think this was supposed to be sad, but there was too much snot mixed with tears for it to be sad. It was, again, gross. So was Gerard Butler's pathetic attempt at the "all that the Phantom asked of you" line. And the lack of a chandelier crash in that scene made the song anticlimactic.

And "Masquerade" was so-so but... The Phantom's entrance is anticlimactic somehow, and his Red Death costume (if indeed it's supposed to even BE the Red Death) is unimpressive. I don't like how Raoul just runs off to desert Christine as soon as things start looking ugly (yes, I realize he was going to get his sword, but still... something could have happened to her while he was gone. Duh, did this guy learn anything from "Little Lotte/The Mirror"? Just sayin)

As for Madame Giry's flashback immediately following, I like how it gives us some of the Phantom's backstory, but it seems really abrupt. You don't even realize until she's done that she was talking to Raoul the whole time- it sounds like she's just randomly reminiscing about Stuff, and if you didn't know the story you might be sitting there thinking, "who is this strange woman again?"

Also, Christine leaving wherever-it-is at, like, five in the morning to go to who-knows-where, completely oblivious to the fact that the Phantom is driving her. Whaaaaaaaaa? How'd he know she was planning to go for a graveyard stroll? Was he watching her through the mirror again? THAT'S JUST CREEPY.

"Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" was rather mediocre and dulled down the fact that it is a Christine Empowerment™ song. Why, exactly, does Christine's father have the biggest monument in the cemetery? If he were a rich and famous violinist as his crypt seems to suggest, why on earth was his daughter struggling along as a chorus girl taking free music lessons?

The swordfight... Well... I had mixed feelings about it. Sword fights are all well and good, but... The swordfight takes away the element of mysterious danger to the Phantom. Okay, fine, Christine getting Raoul to spare the Phantom's life is a nice touch, I guess, but did it strike no one else that his "now let it be war upon you BOTH" makes absolutely NO sense after that? If she just saved his life, why would he suddenly be all, "thanks, but no thanks, I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUUUUUUUUUU"?

And "Twisted Every Way" was after "Wishing" which made ZERO sense. Plus, I didn't like how they cut most of it because in the musical, it gave Christine a spine!

"Point of No Return"? Hooooooo boy....... There are so many things wrong with this number. Let's just a list a few.

*HOW did no one recognise the Phantom through his "disguise"?! At least in the stage play, it made more sense because of how he was wearing a cloak that obscured most of his body.

*Christine's sleeves falling down over and over again were REALLY annoying.

*It was just too touchy-feely for my taste.

*The fact that Emmy Rossum was a teenager during filming made this scene gross because of the way they oversexualized Christine in this scene.

*Gerard Butler's voice in that scene made me cringe and shake my head in sympathetic shame.

*In the stage play, Christine ran from him, showing her own agenda and resistance to his pull! While in the movie, she didn't resist him!

*Now for the one that took the cake... The disfigurement! Or it would be a disfigurement if it actually made him look, y'know, deformed. Instead, as several people have put it, he looks like he got a bad sunburn or something. It's really rather pathetic. It makes him look more like a drama queen than he already is! Yeah.... I really don't like this movie.

On to... Final Lair!!!!!!!! It was a flop. From Raoul's whining and flailing around and his stringy hair flopping about (shallow complaint, I know, but it's so ugly) to Christine's sappy melodramatic "don't make me choooooooose" faces to the Phantom's prancing around with his ropes and maniacal laughter that somehow wasn't really scary at all... yeah, it was a flop. A major, major flop. And though The Kiss wasn't all that bad, all I could think of was, "She's SIXTEEN! SIX! TEEN! THIS IS CREEPY, DISTURBING AND GROSS!"

Which is why it's so difficult for me to admit that, um, I... cried at the end.

I COULDN'T HELP IT GUYS HE WAS ALL ALONE THERE IN HIS LAKE WITH HIS MONKEY AND HIS SMASHED MIRRORS AND HE WAS CRYING AND IT WAS SAD.

And then that rose on the gravestone? That single red rose? And the look on Old Raoul's face (still Patrick Wilson, by the way, under all that makeup) when he saw it and realized he wasn't the only one visiting Christine's grave? Yup, I lost it again there, too. And I really didn't want to. Because I tend to cry over movies I love, y'know? And I didn't love this movie. At all

Yet I still cried at the end. I'm not really sure why. I think perhaps it had something to do with the way the story still "got" me, deep down inside, despite the lousy casting and less-than-perfect singing and ridiculously unnecessary elements that totally didn't need to be there. It's still a tragically beautiful romance, and even a bad film can't kill that.

In conclusion, I think Mary Poppins can best express what I thought of POTO 2004.

In conclusion, I rate it a 2.7/5

[majiniesthings]

¨i still have your phone number memorized even though i haven’t called you since we split and somehow i remembered it even though i’ve had like six shots of bourbon and hey, i know you’re pissed that you’re here at this dingy club at 3 in the morning to pick my drunk ass up, but you have to admit that’s pretty impressive¨ AU ~~ as frostiron. When you're finished I'll prompt you for more of those amazing au's :)

“I'm gonna write a quick angsty drabble”, shesaid. Now, 3294 words later... anyway. Hope ya like it, love, I don'tknow if I do, I'm tired, it's late, I need sleep.

Tony had deleted Loki's number from his contactsweeks ago so he wouldn't get drunk and tempted to do exactly what hewas doing now. Turns out his memory was better than he had givenhimself credit for, because even with Lord knew how many shots he'dhad and at oh-god-o'clock in the morning, he'd managed to type in thefamiliar numbers. It had seemed like a good idea, too, until Loki hadactually picked up.

“Hello?” Groggy, rough from sleep, a littleconcerned. Of course. It wasn't like he got calls in the middle ofthe night all the time. “Who is this?”

“Heyyy.” Tony greeted, drawn-out and a littlegiggly. “Din't think you'd be pickin' up. Din't think I'd get yournumber right, actually.” He slouched in his chair, chin propped upin his hand, and listened to the silence on the other end of theline. “'s 'cause I'm a genius,” he added. “Numbers are nice.Helluva lot easier than people, too.”

There was another moment of silence from Loki. Then:“How many drinks have you had, Anthony?”

Tony hummed contemplatively while he considered thequestion, eyeing the near-empty bourbon in front of him. After a fewseconds, he answered with absolute certainty: “All of 'em.” 

Somewhere behind him, there was a crashing noise and laughter.

“Are you home?”

“Nahhh. 's kind of empty.” Tony traced patternson the wood of his table morosely. “Flat's too big for one person.”His words were slurring together as he spoke, but he couldn't reallybring himself to care.

Loki muttered something under his breath that soundedlike it might be Norwegian. Cursing, probably. There was the rustleof movement, fabric. “Is someone with you?”

“Nah,” he repeated, slouching down in his seat.“Jus' me. An' the bourbon. Tastes like shit, too.” He reached forhis glass, downed the last finger still left and waved an unsteadyhand in the direction of the bartender.

“Where are you?” Loki's tone was clipped, curt,hell, even to Tony it was obvious that the man was pissed, but hehadn't heard his voice in weeksand he'd missed it, damn it. He missed Loki. “Anthony.” Nobodyever called him Anthony. With anyone else, it would annoy him, butLoki made it sound different. “Stop. Tell me where you are, now.”Had he been talking out loud? “Yes, you have.” Loki groaned.“Gods, you're plastered. Anthony, I need to know where you are.”

“Oh,” Tony madeeloquently. “'s the bar– the one you din't like. Said it's got noclass.” He giggled, then hiccuped. “You were right, too, thisplace is a mess. I'm a mess. Loki, I'm a mess.”

“I can hear that.” Asigh, sharp, annoyed, short. “Stay.”

The line went dead.

Tony stared at hisphone for a few moments, letters and numbers blurring, before hedropped it on the table when the waiter placed another shot in frontof him. He snatched the glassimmediately, liquid sloshing out over his fingers when he pulled ittoward him and downed half of it. It burned in his throat and madehis stomach churn and he wanted to cry or throw up or maybe both. Hewas probably going to end up doing both.

He'd been doing both a lotthe past few weeks. Calling Loki, that was new.

“Stupid,” he murmuredunder his breath, dropping his head into his hands. “Fuckin'stupid. Idiot.” They'd kept up radio silence until Tony just had togo and drunk-call his ex. Genius indeed.

Tony wasn't sure how muchtime passed just sitting there, musing and feeling sorry for himself,a finger absently tracing the rim of his glass. He was about to liftit again to drain it, call it a night, go home and wallow in selfpity where he had a bed, when paler, slender fingers wrapped aroundit and set it down out of his reach.

Surprised, he lookedup. Met Loki's eyes, narrowed, lips pressed into a thin line, hairhaphazardly pulled back into a loose bun at the back of his neck,dressed in a loose hoodie andjeans. Looking pissed.

“You're here,”Tony heard himself say, or at least he thought that was what he said.His tongue felt heavy and clumsy inhis mouth, words slurring together.

“Astute as ever,” Lokiresponded. “Up. Come on.” He sounded just as clipped as on thephone, expression unreadable.

Tony beamed at him.“You gotta admit s'impressive,” he slurred while he stumbled tohis feet, steadying himself on the table. “Didn'tthink I'd get enough brain cells together to actually remember yournumber.” He took a step forward and promptly stumbled when theworld started spinning wildly. “You always told me I was smart,”he murmured, muffled by the fabric of Loki's hoodie.

“I'm doubting it rightnow,” Loki muttered, grabbing a hold of Tony's arm to sling it overhis shoulder. The other wrapped around Tony's waist and he leanedinto Loki's side heavily, inhaling deeply.

“I still gotta...”He waved his free hand in thegeneral direction of the bar counter, hoping that Loki could fill inthe missing words.

He felt more thansaw the taller man shake his head. “I covered your tab, just get inthe bloody car. If you throwup on my upholstery, I'm going to make you walk.”

Tony murmureda quiet “charming” beforehe fell silent, eyes half-closed while he let Loki lead him. Heconcentrated on keeping his liquor down. Hereally didn't feel like walking.

He made a quietnoise of protest when Loki more or less dropped him in the passengerseat of his car and went around to get to the other side. Tonyslumped in his seat, head tilted back to stare at the roof of thecar. They'd done thingsin this car, he remembered fondly, things that involved him somehowfolding himself into the space between passenger seat and back seatand Loki's hands in his hair, hushed, breathless praise andencouragement in the air.  

The slam of the driver's side door closing jerked himout of his reverie and he looked over just as Loki glanced at him andheaved a sigh.

“For pity's sake, Anthony.” He leaned over andfor a second, Tony thought he was going to kiss him, tilted his headexpectantly, but then Loki just reached over him to fasten hisseatbelt and then dropped back against his own seat to do the samefor himself.

Of course.

Tony slumped into his seat, arms crossed and a pouton his lips. “I don't wanna go home.”

“Good, because I am not driving across town just todrop you off there,” Loki shot back while he pulled out of theparking lot. “Why did you even bother driving this far to getdrunk? There's enough bars around your block, this was hardlynecessary.”

“We met here.” Tony turned his head, watchedLoki's profile, illuminated every few seconds when they passed undera street light. “You were with Thor an' the other blond guy an' Ipicked a fight with Thor an' you told him he was...”

“I remember,” Loki cut him off, keeping his eyesso fixed on the road it must hurt his head. His knuckles were whiteagainst the steering wheel.

Tony watched for a few seconds, words bubbling up inhis throat, and he meant to keep them to himself, he really did, buthe found himself whispering an “I miss you” anyway.

If possible, Loki's grip seemed to get even tighter.“Don't,” he snapped, sharp, and Tony flinched and turned his headto stare down at his hands in his lap.

“Loki, I'm sor–”

“I said don't,”Loki cut him off again.

This time, helistened. They spent the rest of the brief ride in icy silence, Tonytwiddling his thumbs  andpicking at his nails, eyes falling shut every so often before a holein the road made him jerk awake again. He was feeling tired andnauseous and ten more kinds of miserable, especially knowing thatLoki was right here and Tony had screwed up, he'd screwed up so bad–

He stayed silentwhile Loki got him out of the car and up the stairs to his apartment,half-dragging Tony along as he went, andonly when they were at thedoor to the flat and Loki was fumbling with his keys did Tony curlinto him further, burying his face in the other man's neck. He couldfeel Loki tense slightly, but then the door was clicking open and hewas being hauled inside.

“Alright, get onthe couch,” Loki commanded, attempting to dislodge Tony's hold onhim, but Tony just threw his other arm around Loki's shoulders aswell and breathed in deeply, face still tucked against Loki'sshoulder. “Anthony. Get off of me. Geton the bloody couch.”

“No,” hemuttered, slightly muffled, and then “no”with more determination, andhe wasn't sure whatbroke the dam but suddenly he was talking, babbling.“Look, Lokes, I knowI fucked up, I'm sorry, I didn't know how to– I don't know, Ican't–”

“Anthony, stop.”For the first time, Loki's cold, annoyed demeanour cracked, togetherwith his voice. “Quit it.”

Tony clung to hishoodie tighter in response, shoulders shaking and breath coming inshort, hitched gasps. “Please, Lokes, 'm sorry, really, I–please, lemme fixthis, I love you, I do, I swear, andI shouldn't've run, but I don't know how this, I don't know how to–”

“Shhhh,” Lokimade, and it sounded soft,almost sweet, and then he was wrapping his arms around Tony andslender fingers were carding through his hair gently. “Hush,darling. Shh.” He kept up the soothing, repetitive motion and letTony cry, messy andugly and with tears soaking his hoodie, while Tony chided himself forever, ever lettingthis go in the first place. “Let's get you to bed, come on,” Lokimurmured in his ear, quietly.

“Please,” Tony chokedout, not sure what he was asking for, tightening his grip. He turnedhis head to the side, pressed a kiss to Loki's neck and felt himfreeze. Placed another kiss right under his jaw, got onto histip-toes to reach his cheek–

Yelped in shock whenLoki shoved him away forcefully enough that his back hit the wallbehind him.“I told you tostop,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “You're drunk, I am nottouching you when you're like this, get in the bedroom.” With that,he turned on his heel and disappeared toward the kitchen.  

Tonystayed where he was, let his head drop back against the wall with hiseyes squeezed shut. Stupid,he chided himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Heshould have never called Loki, he shouldn't have let himself betempted like this, shouldn't just have assumed that Loki wanted himback–

The way to thebedroom, achingly familiar, was made in small, stumbling steps andTony wanted to cry again when his face hit the pillow and he inhaledslowly, basking in Loki's scent while he blearily kicked off hisshoes and curled up on top of the covers. He was exhausted, had beenfor weeks now. He was ready to crash, already half-asleep a fewseconds after he'd closed his eyes.

Distantly, he heardLoki enter the room and set something down on the night stand firmly.“Drink,” he ordered. Then, quieter: “For heaven's sake.” Tonyfelt a hand on his shoulder, turning him around, then a glass wasbeing pushed to his lips and he obediently parted them, draining theglass and spilling surprisingly little of it.

He thought he feltLoki's lips pressing against his hair for a moment after he'd droppedback into the pillow, but it was probably his imagination, and hesuddenly felt too worn out to care.  

…

Tonywoke with a low, pounding headache and a feeling in his mouth likesomething small had curled up and died there. He muffled his groaninto his pillow and considered rolling over and going back to sleep,but he spotted a glass of water and painkillers on the night standwhen he reluctantly blinked his eyes open, so he sighed and draggedhimself up, downing two of the little pills and emptying the glasscompletely.

Herubbed a hand over his face while he willed the effects to kick inquickly, swinging his legs out of the bed. Yesterday'sclothes,he noted absently. Classy.Far from being awake, he shuffled into the bathroom, and plucked histoothbrush out of its holder, determined to get the foul taste out ofhis mouth.

Itwas only halfway through brushing his teeth, staring at himself inthe mirror, that he realised thatwasn't his mirror.It hadn't been his bed, either.

“Ohgod,” he muttered, mouth full, and numbly bent down torinse. “Oh, god.” He splashed some cold water in his face, ranhis wet hands through his hair to get it into some semblance oforder, and then met his own gaze in the mirror, cheeks red withhumiliation. “You fucking moron,” he told himself.

Hedried his hands and face off with a towel and straightened hisclothes as best as he could. Fiddled with the buttons of his shirt.Stroked some more stray strands of hair back, washed out the sink,wondered why Loki hadn't thrown his toothbrush out two months ago.

Whenhe realised he was stalling, putting off the inevitable, he forcedhimself to straighten up and take a breath.

Hewas a fucking mess without Loki. It was pathetic.

Bitingthe inside of his cheek, he stepped back into the bedroom, gatheringup his shoes from where he'd kicked them off, and then slowly steppedout into the living room.

Lokiwas curled in his armchair, in the hoodie and pants he'd worn lastnight, hair let down and glasses perched on his nose. There was abook on his knees and a mug of hot chocolate, probably cold by now,on the table next to him. He didn't look up.

“Hey,”Tony greeted softly. Awkwardly.

“Morning,”Loki returned, still not lifting his gaze. His voice was quiet andguarded. “Did you find the painkillers?”

Tonycleared his throat quietly. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Good.You know your way out.”

Heflinched at the clear, harsh dismissal, shifting on his feet for aminute. A great part of him was tempted to just turn tail and run,but he'd done that the last time and he could see where it had gottenhim. He needed to dosomething.

“Loki,look, I'm sorry for the way that I–”

“Idon't want to hear it,” Loki interrupted him, still not looking up,sounding strained, tight. “You know where the door is, Anthony, youhad no trouble finding it last time.”

Yeah,he'd probably deserved that one. “I know I wasn't being fair –”

“Youweren't being fair?” Loki echoed, and now he did look up. For thefirst time, Tony noticed the dark shadows under his eyes and hispaler-than-usual skin tone, found himself wondering if Loki had sleptat all after picking him up. The sound of his book snapping shutcracked through the room like a whip, making Tony flinch. “That'sone way of putting it, yes.” Loki got up from the chair, takingslow steps toward him. “You could have at least had the decencyto talk to me, you know, instead of just cuttingme offlikeI'm some... some...” He stopped halfway through the room, running ahand through his hair and shaking his head. “I'm not doing this.Getout.”

Tonystepped forward, a little defiant. “Come on, Lokes, you gottalisten to me at least.”

“Iwould have listened to you!” Loki snapped. “I would have listenedif you had talkedto me, instead of running off – you didn't answer your phone, youchangedthe keytoyour bloodyapartment,we had radiosilence.I resorted to asking your friends because I was worried sick. Thefirst sign of life I received from you in over two months was adrunkenphone call!” His voice cracked on the last word and he drew a shakybreath, turning away from Tony, who stood rooted to his spot, shoesstill in hand.

Fora few seconds, the only sound in the room was Loki's quick, hitchedbreathing. Then, Tony shook himself out of his stupor. He set hisshoes down gingerly and then padded across the room on his sockedfeet, approachingLoki and very carefully resting his hands on the other man's waist.When Loki didn't immediately shake him off, Tony stepped a littlecloser, fitting himself against Loki's back and wrapping his armsaround his waist completely.

Loki'ssigh sounded almost resigned.

“Ifreaked,” Tony began hesitantly, murmuring into the back of Loki'shoodie. “I... you have more stuff at mine than over here, I knowthat for a fact, I've been wearing your hoodies, and I have enough ofmy things hereto last me a few days, and– and we basically live together most ofthe time and it is so fucking weirdto wake up without you and we can tell each other 'I love you'without freaking out and I guess I just... I realised how goddamncommittedweare and I got scared I was gonna fuck up because it actually meanssomethingthis time around–”

“Youdid,” Loki interjected, and Tony ground to a halt, blinking inconfusion.

“Huh?”

“Fuckup. You did. You fucked up.” His shoulders were shaking and Tonyhoped to god that it was with laughter.

“GuessI did,” he muttered, then cleared his throat. “I was trying toget to a point here.”

“Praytell, what was it?” There was a trace of his usual sarcasm inLoki's voice and Tony almost cried with relief.

Tonybreathed in deeply, closing his eyes while he leaned his cheekagainst Loki's back. “The point being, I thought it was gonna bebetter if I pull out of this before doing it gets worse and evenharder later and I realised it was stupid a few days into it but Ididn't know how to tell you what was going on, I didn't know if Icould face you without panicking again, and so I kept up the radiosilence which was a dick move, I get it, but...”

“Yourpoint, Anthony,” Loki reminded him gently, and Tony nodded jerkily.

“Yeah.Yeah. Well, basically, my point is that I was being stupid and thatI'd never, everwant to not have you in my life, and I know you have every right tobe pissed at me and if I fuck up again you can kick me out and I'lldeserve it but I'd like a second chance please?” He'd gottenquicker the longer he talked, words tumbling out of his mouth in whatwas hopefully the correct order, and now he was holding his breathwhile he felt Loki's chest shake with a silent laugh. God, he hopedit was a laugh and he hadn't made him cry.

Hefelt more than saw Loki raise a hand to wipe at his face while hetook a slow, unsteady breath.

“Youare buying me dinner tonight,” Loki announced eventually and Tonythought he was going to sob with relief. “And if I hear youcomplaining about your hangover, I'm leaving.”

“That'sfair,” he agreed immediately, a little choked up. “Yeah. Okay.Let's do dinner.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: [Let us say that some boys on the bus were going hard with being dicks because duh, shit always goes down on the bus] Janis: 3 of those lads have sent me dick pics Janis: say the word, like Grace: only 3? 💔 Janis: What can I say? Janis: Not got the pull I used to, obvs Grace: yeah same Janis: Yeah Janis: well, there's comfort in knowing you're always one #scandal away from being old news at this school, yeah Grace: mhmm I'm like so comforted rn Janis: Not my forte Janis: I'll work on getting the remaining 2 dicks Janis: revenge porn, I could do Grace: 🤞💜🙏 Janis: I hope the rest of the insults you've heard today have been more creative than that poor showing at least Grace: Duh of course they haven't 🙄 Janis: Gutting Janis: should've paid more attention in English, lads Grace: [sends her some of the quality content] Grace: that'll be easier when I'm not there to be like TOTALLY distracting obvs Janis: 😑 Janis: How dry Janis: 💀 or 👻 Grace: I mean like catch them at 20 still trying to pass Grace: much as I wanna kms Janis: True that Janis: only here past junior cert to get more fingering experience Grace: ugh Janis: I know Janis: romance is dead Janis: is there anything I can actually do though? Grace: get that as a matching tattoo with barista boy? no 👌👌 Grace: idk cos idk what I can even do soooo Grace: my life is just over Janis: I'll float the idea Janis: might be a bit mainstream Janis: yeah but is that such a bad thing Janis: was pretty tragic, right? Grace: can you not Janis: I'm not taking the piss Janis: I'm being real Grace: & I'm not in the mood for a life revamp atm Grace: or your advice Janis: I'm not trying to be a guru either Grace: well you don't know what you're talking about so that's a relief Janis: Alright Janis: not said I do either Janis: sorry I don't, if I knew how to avoid scandals, I could sell that shit for a high price Grace: just stop Grace: I could care less that I'm #cancelled Grace: it's not even Janis: Go on then Janis: I know you aren't upset over that idiot Grace: Duh Grace: he's the WORST but I knew that already Janis: and give a shit about everyone talking shit, apparently Janis: so, what is it? Grace: it's real if I say it Janis: Is that why you're not saying anything Janis: I know it doesn't stop the talk but some people might listen Janis: what don't you want to make real? Grace: I don't want people to listen, I literally don't want anyone to know Grace: I don't even wanna know, I wish I didn't Janis: Grace Janis: what are you talking about? Grace: I'm literally the worst person, I didn't wanna have his baby & now god has like cursed me forever Janis: Babe, God is NOT a subscriber Janis: tell me Grace: if you make me 😂 I will 😭 Janis: That would make things feel more normal Janis: but I'll calm my comedy genius Janis: you haven't grown another head and I don't think our animal have been slaughtered Grace: thanks babes Grace: but I'd rather have another head than this Janis: More to contour, I get it Janis: Kinda Janis: so it must be bad Grace: Yeah Grace: like I said, my life is over Grace: it's not even started & it's done Janis: Did you want the baby Janis: I know you said not HIS but like Janis: it'd be understandable to be in two minds, even after making a decision about it Grace: not now but I didn't know that'd mean not ever Janis: What? Grace: it's not just that I wasn't pregnant this time Grace: I can't be Janis: Ever? Janis: The Doctor told you? Grace: Ever Grace: the doctor said I'm going through the fucking menopause, like is nan even?! Janis: the menopause Janis: is that even possible Janis: fuck Grace: I don't think the doctor is allowed to drop fake news on me Grace: like maybe there's another storytime coming Janis: When did you find this out? Grace: I went to the doctors right after I delivered my fake news to him Janis: Jesus, Grace Janis: How are you in School Janis: why? Grace: I told you, I don't want this to be happening Grace: I'm freaking out, the symptoms are crazy Janis: Is it just pure bad luck Janis: it can't be like..reversed Grace: there's like no way to undo it Janis: Shit Janis: I'm sorry Janis: that is huge Grace: yeah me too Grace: the pity party this fam would throw would be huge Grace: along with the guestlist of all their accidental babies Janis: and we have enough birthdays with all those accidental kids so Janis: Obviously, no need to explain why you're keeping it to yourself Grace: I can't do this Grace: be this Janis: I don't think you have a choice Janis: well, you don't Grace: is it my fault though? all the binging I used to do Grace: Ro got to have a kid Janis: Of course it ain't your fault Janis: this shit is unfair and random Grace: Yeah Janis: and it'll always be shit and unfair Janis: but you can still live your life, just different to how you've imagined Grace: I don't wanna live this life Janis: There's not an alternative Janis: but I can guarantee it's not gonna be as bad as you feel right now Grace: I was just starting to get my shit together, for god's sake Janis: I know Janis: but you still have the rest together Grace: HE'S the last boy that's ever gonna come near me, that alone makes me wanna die Janis: that's bollocks Janis: you've not got the plague Janis: socially, right now Janis: but who gives a fuck, yeah, the lads 'round here are not the be all in any way Grace: I literally live here Grace: what else am I gonna do go online and find boys who are into 👵? Janis: Boys that don't go to our school, would be a start Janis: ones that aren't likely to be fans of that prick, shouldn't be hard Janis: you're not going for 12 year olds, like Grace: I said don't make me 😂 Janis: It can't hurt Janis: except literally, maybe Grace: I've gotta get used to all the fucking aches and pains anyway ugh Janis: Any excuse for a spa day, you Grace: I'll lose your invite, don't even worry Janis: 💔😏 Janis: you should though Janis: do something that doesn't make you feel like 👵 Grace: casual infertility party Janis: not exactly what I was thinking but Janis: interesting take on the baby shower epidemic Janis: I'd come Grace: oh god don't, Rio's gonna have another one soon Janis: It'll be nice to not have to snatch it back from an OTT gay this time Janis: more chill Grace: unless I snatch it cos I go fully mental Janis: I'd recommend a less baby crazy target Grace: maybe I'll start pushing all the 🐈s around in a pram like oh hey this is my new vibe Janis: if you want your face clawed off Janis: they're pretty unsympathetic little bastards Grace: I literally didn't wanna be in this fam before what am I meant to do now?! ugh Janis: As much as it would be a laugh to ask Ri to surrogate again Janis: let's think of something a little less drastic for the time being Grace: like? Janis: like Janis: you can't disown us all, it'd take to long Janis: but you could not be around for a while Grace: 👌👌 except I have nowhere to go Grace: not trying to have a Q&A with my friends about this Janis: You're so lucky I'm the twin with brains Grace: rude Janis: what about going to see Ava for a hot sec Janis: she's not the barrage-you-with-questions type Grace: it's lowkey very unlikely her mum & dad would want me there though Janis: yeah but it's as unlikely they'll be about enough to notice you that hard Janis: everyone knows you're going through it right now, even if they don't actually know what IT really is Grace: okay yeah Grace: mum does, she'd let me go Janis: exactly, who actually gives a shit if you miss a week or so of school Janis: Ava could still go if she so desperately needs, you just need to chill Janis: away from here Grace: not me, school was the worst even before this Janis: One thing we can agree on Grace: don't like tell anyone, okay? Janis: No shit Janis: 'course I won't Grace: Even your boyfriend who you're so 💖😍😘 for & have no secrets from Janis: Even though you're being purposefully antagonizing rn Janis: I won't tell no one Grace: thanks Janis: It ain't even an ask Janis: so don't mention it Grace: 👌💜 Janis: I'll hook it up with her, no stress Grace: I'll handle mum Janis: and your packing Grace: at least I don't have to serve a look as hard when there's only 1 person there I'm avoiding as opposed to like ALL of Dublin Janis: safe to say you can give the #ootds a break too Janis: strictly loungewear, like Grace: mhmmm Janis: bit rude to avoid Ava though Janis: do I need to tell her you're getting in the guestroom and not coming out, like? Grace: oh please, I would never Janis: Who are you avoiding then? Grace: just a boy Janis: unlike you Grace: excuse you Janis: You'd have your exes all back 'round like a family reunion Janis: who's this boy, did you shit in his bed, what's the story Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: I WOULD NOT Janis: 👌👌 you love a repeat Grace: I'm a hoe reformed 😇🙏 Janis: so that's why you're avoiding Janis: get a wimple, join a convent Grace: literally can't 💍 anyone but god now anyway so Grace: obvs that's what he wanted when he cursed me Janis: #whenbaeisposessive 😍 Janis: and don't talk shit, you don't have to promise you'll have your firstborn within the year when you get married, like Janis: not necessary Grace: whatever we're so off topic rn Janis: the topic of you shitting in some London lad's bed, 'cos you did not deny it Janis: let's get back on that Grace: OMG no! Grace: I'm 👵 not 🤢💀🤒😓💀 Grace: he's just a hookup, no drama Janis: just gonna run for cover if you 👀 him Janis: standard Janis: probably not lurking about her gaff unless you've really one-upped everyone and fucked your uncle 🤢 Grace: EW! Grace: I'm not even gonna 👀 him cos he's her bfs brother but like I didn't know that so Janis: that's funny Janis: soz Janis: 😂 when the incestuousness of it all happens without you even trying Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: okay 🤐 Janis: but deffo avoid him Grace: duh Grace: the state of me & my life rn Janis: more like the state of that whole situation Janis: getting involved in that is not anyone's idea of relaxing Grace: obvs but that's not anything to do with him Grace: just like none of this #scandal involves you Janis: Think people know better than to imply it was a threesome, yeah Grace: Gross! & you know what I mean, babes Janis: yeah, it's beyond #obvs you don't wanna avoid this boy mhmm Grace: like that matters, he's not gonna hit me up & same Janis: well okay Janis: arranging that goes beyond sisterly duties into pimp territory so Janis: focus on what you're actually gonna do whilst you're there then Grace: 😭😭💀💀😭 then yeah? Grace: 👌💜 Janis: you could do that here Janis: at least go somewhere instagrammable to die Grace: well duh Grace: final livestream for the haters Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: wonder if anyone's killed themselves on stream yet Janis: must've Grace: obvs Grace: but I literally couldn't even if it was original content cos they'd all think it was about him & I'm sooo 💔💔💔 Janis: No one wants that as their legacy Grace: exactly Janis: even if the race to #1 most subscribed when he gets #cancelled would be just riveting Grace: he won't even though his fans are just Janis: sweaty virgins Janis: yeah, figures Grace: 😂 Grace: I'd tell him to hit them with a Q&A but like he's got no answers Grace: literally should've known I wasn't pregnant Janis: thank fuck you ain't Janis: this time anyway Janis: obvs the whole thing is a little more complex but Christ Janis: having to parent with that Janis: and knowing your child was the product of a really shit shag Janis: 💔 Grace: IKR Grace: at least he doesn't know he could blame the menopause for how shit it was Janis: I highly doubt he knows what the menopause is Janis: nevermind the concept of it coming early Janis: though that shouldn't be that unfamiliar Grace: who knew it could come this early though Grace: not his defence squad but like wtf Janis: I hadn't heard of it before, really Janis: like I knew people like Ro and Mia and co can stop getting their period and it might not come back, even if you sort yourself Janis: it's shit luck Grace: yeah Janis: Did you not get your period Janis: on whatever contraception you're on Grace: loads of people don't on the implant so I wasn't freaking out Janis: yeah Janis: s'what I thought Janis: you don't think, I mean that's not why, is it Grace: I'd hope someone would have floated that as a side effect before I got it put in but it's not like I can ask my former squad if they're also going through it Grace: they might've moved on by now anyways it only lasts 3 years Grace: hence my 👶 panic Janis: I don't think even doctors and scientists know what it does to our bodies Janis: we're still guineapigs for all this shit Janis: I know loads of people get fucked up from all the hormones they add to your body, and the ones they take away Janis: again, just bad luck it happened to be permanent, I guess Janis: fun times Grace: at least I won't have to do any of that shit any more Janis: that's true Janis: it's not like there aren't any perks Janis: or that the losses can't be filled with other potentials in the future, when you actually wanna think about all that shit Grace: unless I go bald then I will kms obvs Janis: If you go bald, you can just go for it and superglue a wig on Grace: find me one that doesn't make me look like a weird cartoon character & sure Janis: no 💗 or 💙 Janis: got it Grace: ty 💜 Janis: failing that, you could make Ri transplant you some of hers Janis: like so you won't give me a baby, okay Grace: 😂😂 coming at her with ✂ Grace: I love that you didn't volunteer yourself bitch Grace: 💇 or 👶 tbh Janis: Full horror movie moment that Janis: selfish to a fault me Janis: and final girl, so you can pry 'em off my cold dead head or outta my cold dead womb Grace: my 📽🎞😱 moment is that this is gonna change my skin type to dry so it'll take me at least a full week to find replacements for all my makeup faves Janis: yeah, but think about how hard your spots should disappear Janis: get yourself a decent moisturizer and you won't even need to bother barely Grace: !!! Grace: I didn't even think of that OMG Janis: mhmm 👵 don't get acne Grace: 🙏🙏 Janis: and you can try a new facial over there, yeah Grace: as long as Ava isn't like no thanks bitch Janis: won't give her an option tbh Grace: 📽🎞😱 Janis: 😏 you know I'm scary bitch Grace: oh please Janis: 👊 Grace: 😘

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie, Bronson, Charlie & Bea

Ronnie: I'm going on a run Ronnie: who wants? Bronson: My stash is depleted for some unknown reason 🤔 please stock me up Charlie: Ooh, new year new you babe? Charlie: couch to 5k is it aspirational af 😍 Bea: ✋ me Ronnie: fuck off i just dont need you pussies crying when you can't scav my gear Ronnie: what'll it be princess? the usual Charlie: c'mon, we've always shared everything, nothing is your own #carekidlife Bronson: Ha! That'll be why the lock on my door never sticks Bea: yep, not decided to get heavily into crack since we last spoke, just lots of amphetamines in any form you find 'em, tah, got exams coming up Ronnie: Shame Ronnie: reckon I'd like you more on the hard shit Charlie: just in case you missed the old place, man, giving you that nostalgia for when you had to padlock anything that wasn't bolted to the floor 😜 Bronson: Good times! 😀 Bea: Shame I'm not trying to be your type then, I guess Bea: soz darling, spoken for 💋 Charlie: Truly, missing that tenner a week pocket money, LUXURY! Ronnie: fucking am Ronnie: pissing jobcentre Bronson: I'll add it to your tab if you're desperate as Charlie: gotta learn to play their game, babe Charlie: not throw the board in a hissy Ronnie: 🖕 doss cunts Bea: catch me here fanning myself with sweet, sweet debt for future me to give a shit about Bronson: I'll wipe it out if you use some to keep me sweet Bea: sweet enough sugar 😘 Bea: but forreal, if you could manage that I would be your sugar mama for LIFE 🙏 Bronson: It's student loans not the feds Bronson: Easy peasy Bea: true, like all branches of the gov, pretty fucking useless Bea: but I'm an immigrant as far as they concerned so they treat me SO good 😋 Bronson: Same, but we can always stretch our hands out a little further Ronnie: To jack it and pat yourself on the back at the same time, yeah? Ronnie: calm it down Bronson: New year, new look too! Green looks ace with black 😄 Bea: Clearly do not have natural rhythm Ronnie, that's really not that difficult Bea: You're not a drummer, are you? 😕 Ronnie: get off my tits all of yous Ronnie: do you want gear or nah? Bronson: 🤐 Bea: I thought you'd already gone tbh Ronnie: not trying to score that weak gay shit Ronnie: hitting up a more reliable source like Charlie: rude, i'm RIGHT here Ronnie: are you even gay fitzy? always in my pussy lad Bronson: 😷 Bea: 🤢 Charlie: idk, ask ur man 💖 Ronnie: that'll be why me and Bron's dads did a bunk Bronson: Get yourself locked up at the same time just for the d, did you? Romantic Charlie: if the porn n the stereotypes n the rate of STIs are anything to go by...love is in the air always in cell block h Ronnie: princess'll have some handcuffs to get you on your way to that good loving Bea: 🚿🧠 anyone got any bleach? Bea: Charlie isn't worth the 💰 use cable ties, more authentic Bronson: 99 🚔 My fingers are on the button....Stop for the love of god Ronnie: Bron can help you out there Fitz Ronnie: 🤓 Bronson: Take that over a thicko label Charlie: Look, babe, know you wanna tie me down forever but do it yourself, don't involve the kid Charlie: 💍 diamond or no D, soz Ronnie: Bring a needle I'll snag a gem Bronson: Don't go there, C, I'm still riding the ear infection wave Bronson: It's been 84 years Ronnie: yeah cause you're a mong that can't turn an earring Bronson: In my defense I was a legit child Bea: nothing screams low-class like stabbing your friends for the bants Charlie: and i already scream homo loudly enough, don't need another reason to be hate crime-d, a thank you Bronson: If I didn't know you I'd guess bisexual Bronson: You can have that for free Charlie: what a smooth-talker! thanks babe 💖 Charlie: and if i didn't know you, i'd guess you were trying to see my dongle Bronson: Been there, repressed the trauma o that Ronnie: get a fucking room benders Charlie: why you being so homophobic when we all know how bad you want on princess? cliche stuck in the closet much Bea: shut up Ronnie: in your wet dreams Charles Ronnie: fuck off Charlie: oh the delicious tension Charlie: too much for either to bear Ronnie: I know where she's been Ronnie: fuck that Ronnie: like you wish you could gayboy Bronson: Wait, you fancy Fraze, Charlie? Ha Bea: Bron can you not encourage either of them Bea: thanks Bronson: Sorry my mind's just blown I thought he was out of his straight boy phase Charlie: What? Its a compliment for you, he's adorable, why else would you be with him? Ronnie: they're both annoying cunts Ronnie: match made Charlie: and never out of that phase, bro 😍 #daddyissues Bea: get his name out of your mouth bitch Ronnie: oi get your mouth off his dick Fitzgerald you heard her Ronnie: princess is raging like Ronnie: when your mans a slag and youre a prude Bea: As if Bea: Only one McKenna fucked up to go near you Bea: #singletear Charlie: Children, enough Ronnie: Bron do that final 9 she's going off 😂 Bronson: Walking away Bea: know you're hard up but as per we're all funding you getting your rocks off so run along and do it, no need to bore me trying to get your kicks Ronnie: know youre a snobby cunt but I don't work for you Bea: you don't work for anyone, not even JC gonna fund your lack of a life Ronnie: 🖕 mad cause I don't need reddies to fund myself Bea: yeah fuming Bea: if only I'd have thought of selling my body, wouldn't even NEED to be at cambs rn omg Ronnie: nailed it Bea: 😂 Bea: whodathunkit Bea: talking to the cure for cancer stuck inside a waster here Bea: and I'm the snob, okay Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: devvo like Bea: We can tell Bea: you don't need to shout about it, you've got the energy of a walking wasteland Ronnie: can't wait until you take some more speed and get more smug Bea: Right? Bea: Must sting, better only getting better Bea: why don't you get something to numb the pain- Ronnie: let you know how it feels when the lads come up Bronson: A rare compliment, you hitting it already? Ronnie: you'll have your share calm the fuck down Charlie: i don't want any, i'm busy Charlie: glad you all noted my silence, feel so listened to usually! hmpf Ronnie: so now you're a little bitch too Ronnie: fuck's sake Bronson: PARTY TIME, am I right? Really in the mood now thanks everyone Charlie: who's in who's pussy, dollface? Charlie: keep your shirt on, Bro 😂 got enough with the two angry feminists here Charlie: I've got previous plans, if you're really so hurt, you can save me some, no? Whaddya mean that'd hurt more? 😏 Bea: you're alright, I personally rather you weren't there, suits me 😘 Bronson: Shirts already off, too late 😜 Bea: Standard 👌 Charlie: you big man whore Charlie: when i'm not around to be predatory, too, tuttut Bronson: I'd wilt under your stare, you know you aren't missing out Charlie: our beautiful wallflower Charlie: I bagsy being a red rose, lil trashy but iconic Bronson: Thorn in our sides Bronson: accepted Bea: Nice one, babe Bea: i'll be an orchid, because i'm beautiful, ornamental and high-maintenance Bea: getting in there before any of you fucks can Charlie: though your silence IS noted, wonwon Charlie: don't be cross at me 😘 Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you're not the only one who's busy Ronnie: got a dick in my mouth too like Charlie: such a skilled multitasker Charlie: teach me your ways Bronson: in private please Bronson: not a lesson I want to learn Bea: we're not living in that teen movie Ronnie: On my way Bea: 👍 getting cash out, meet you there Bronson: Doors on the latch

Bea: Morning sweetness 😴 Bea: manage to recover your good vibe/night? Bronson: is it? 😪 Bronson: Until now it wasn't too bad Bronson: Do you get to say the same or is it pure suffering? Bea: Wow, when you hit bae up with that morning text and he's like day=ruined 😰 thought we was forever 😉 Bea: Decided to get off with someone around the same time I lost track of yous, so it was fucking awful, don't tell me you coulda told me that Bronson: It's only the comedown I wanna dump you're welcome to come and nap 💗 Bronson: Not to be that know it all Bea: Molly's such a cruel, cruel mistress, she wants you to miss her when she's gone 💁 Bea: Poor bubba, better than waking up next to that pushy bitch from last night though, Jesus, what was her damage? Bea: I reckon he'd actually gone out and had his drunken kebab and THEN PAID TO GET BACK IN Bea: No sir, not alright Bea: Why do I bother? Bronson: But I'm shamelessly smitten, only girl for besides present company like Bronson: Whatever it is she's not the first or last sufferer Bronson: Thanks for the bail out and sorry I wasn't there to do the same with kebab Kev Bea: N'awwh 💞 glad I hold more appeal than Tina, don't need to be going down that route Bea: It's an epidemic! Basic bitches who can't get a man willing, yeah take that out on innocent onlookers who ain't buying and talk about how your ex ain't shit for being a creepy letch Bea: We see you sweets 💅 Bea: Any time, even if you weren't there to take that donner breath bullet Bea: I'd never ask that of anyone, even Ronnie, though she'd brag about not being arsed, I'm sure 😂 Bronson: Next time I'll carry gum and throw it at whoever you deem worthy Bronson: Give me the nod Bronson: It was all over her socials like we had a good night together until I got there first Bronson: Rather take out Tina and all her mates Bea: as if you don't already Bea: if only little miss would-be-rapist knew that strong jawline was from gurning up a storm 😉 Bea: not so sexy now Bronson: there's nothing in my pockets I'm just pleased to see you Bronson: Seriously though, some of those selfies had to go for that unflattering reason alone taking into account none of her other antics Bronson: I looked a state Bea: 😂 not fallen for that one before but i'll make an exception for you boo Bea: catch me in my duvet cocoon, please don't look at me 'cos same Bea: I dread to think Bea: kept off my accounts for that reason and many more, some of us have reputations to uphold, skank Bronson: want me to check Bronson: clean up the carnage Bronson: Then brunch, your treat Bea: please Bea: roleplay my IT bitch and I'll be feeling my boss best in time for a liquid lunch Bea: will have to damage control my face first, enjoy watching me lovingly whilst I turn a -2 to an 11 Bronson: Never get bored of staring at you, you know that Bronson: Make my hair great again Bronson: Thanks Bea: when you shoulda been Trump's campaign manager 😕 Bea: sort the weave, clean up that twitter Bea: what a wonderful world it coulda been Bronson: Last night proves I can't stop him pussy grabbing Bronson: Need you for that one Bea: This pussy bites back 😼 Bea: its not your fault, girls like that, if you tell her to fuck off, and rightly so, it'd be made like YOU were being a prick to her Bea: gotta bullshit these hoes sometimes, tis the only way Bronson: Or playing hard to get...they fire that one at me loads Bronson: 😦 Bea: 🤢 gross Bea: got that one myself a fair few times, when I'm not being accused of being a prude by Ronaldo, hilariously Bea: People are the worst Bea: 'cept us Bronson: It's only because she likes you Bronson: Flattering, isn't it? Bronson: Being called broken is my fave Bronson: "Who hurt you?" You are right now, fuck off before you get a slap yourself to feel the pain of Bea: Wouldn't that just be the perfect solution in their simplistic little world? If only Bea: Save myself the feelings of disgust not brought on by kebab breath Bea: Though, if you think that that's love coming from Ron, then you do have an answer to their riddle right there, not real but the masses'll take one look at her and buy it 😜 Bronson: No arguments here Bronson: Your socials are sparkling now so that's real comfort to take Bea: 💖 yay Bea: the world never need know Bea: as long as I didn't drunk dial or text Fraze, this day is looking up, tah babes Bronson: Not to be a know it all again so quick Bronson: but I'm going to go ahead and guess the answer to that one Bea: BITCH DON'T KILL MY VIBE Bea: I'm sure I'd have angry ranting in my inbox if I had Bea: or a passive indirect on the socials, come across one perchance smartiepants? Bronson: Might've Bronson: I'll spare you Bea: Noooooooooooooooooooo Bea: Coulda had it all Bea: Really sours my Bloody Mary Bea: Fuck sake, now he's going to think I FUCKED kebab kev and enjoyed it meanwhile I sit here virginal and scrubbing my mouth out with soap Bea: How's this game fair again, please remind me Bronson: It isn't Bronson: But I can't tell you to stop playing Bronson: All yours Bea: you're meant to be a superwhizkid Bea: can't you think up a strategy so I win Bronson: Thinking cap is on Bronson: Because my hair still looks shit as much as Bea: I'll fix your barnet Bea: Between you and Charlie, honestly Bea: Never known boys like it 😂 Bea: blatant lie, have you seen how particular Fraze is but he doesn't really have much hair to be stylin' so Bronson: 👴 awkward Bea: you fool Bea: not like that 😂 Bea: though I'll keep it in my backpocket for when we inevitably row later Bea: #malepatternbaldnessBITCH Bronson: Freebie to kick your day off right again Bea: if you refuse to tell me what to do, could you use your skillz for good at least and fucking disable my phone when i'm fucked Bronson: Last time I tried you tried to fight me like Bea: Look, I didn't say it was a task for the fainthearted 😉 Bea: and yes, you would be the first to succeed too Bea: but if anyone can, its my man 😘 Bronson: Ego boost before eggs Bronson: Whoa Bronson: Today is looking up Bea: Gotta keep you sweet with all the bitching I'll no doubt do at brunch Bea: such a Carrie move, like no one cares bitch, write it in your column or books or...what did she even write? Or was she just monologuing at her computer, like all been there babe but don't act like its buying you all that designer Bronson: Her real true love was that laptop Bronson: Solved it Bea: 😲 Bea: but Mr. Big Bea: clue in the name Bronson: Could be his wallet Bronson: explain the designer gear Bea: Exactly Bea: Just my type Bronson: I'd go in for it if I can spend and send him the receipts Bea: you must be aware there are websites for that Bea: get on it boy Bronson: It all gets too sexual for my tastes Bea: set out boundaries Bea: different strokes for different folks Bea: i'm SURE there's a millionaire out there that just wants to chat Bronson: 🤔 There's enough fighting off advances in the club Bronson: Shelving that until millionaires become good people Bea: not bad people by default Bea: just a bad system they profit from more than you Bronson: Getting deep in here Bronson: Truth though Bea: real talk take #2 Bea: where do you think charlie was last night? and who or what was he doing? Bronson: Good questions that I have no answer to Bronson: If he had a job we'd all know Bea: I need to know, suspense is killing me Bea: I didn't think anything beat drugs in his book Bea: somewhat encouraging? Bronson: You could ask but I doubt you'd get far enough into the real Bronson: It is Bronson: Boy's growing up? Bea: Full of the #bants them two Bronson: Since day 1 Bronson: I'm coming to get you, Barbara Bronson: Ready yourself Bea: *falls over gravestones like a dumb bitch* Bea: i'm good to go and looking fly Bronson: I'll do the coded knock Bronson: Made up rn Bea: Helpful Bronson: That's my thing Bronson: Soon, my love, soon