#'MAYBE if anyone ELSE would step up I wouldnt have FIVE FUCKING KIDS to care for but NOOOOO thats too hard!'

[monty-glasses-roxy]

interesting SB headcanon, el chip and helpy were transfers from FNAF 6's pizzeria after it burned down, those 2 suffered a bit of bad fire damage but were still functional when they escaped the burning building (the rest of the non-possessed animatronics escaped the flames too and in storage somewhere), helpy and el chip got fixed up after they got transferred to the pizzaplex

Oooo interesting!

Consider: Since the FNaF 6's place is right underneath the Raceway, they could have been found by the others while exploring and fixed up by them. I can imagine Chica being the most curious, so let's say she finds the lift down and discovers El Chip and Helpy. She was about to leave 'em be but with some curious prodding, she noticed that they weren't that damaged, and in fact, despite them being inactive, some of the old safety mechanisms on their endos still function.

So, worrying they both might still be conscious or might have gotten trapped down here - and also wondering if they would remember anything about what the hell happened down here - Chica drags the pair of them up to the surface. She has El Chip on her back, slouched over her and Helpy in her arms as she awkwardly runs to Roxy's garage and very excitedly rambles about her adventure as she casually puts the pair down on the floor.

Roxy confused as hell to who these guys are and what the hell they're doing in her Raceway and once it's all explained she's pretty horrified there's stuff like this just under her home like that. Anyway, Chica convinces her to fix them up on the condition that Chica steals some stuff for her, tells everyone else about these guys, and takes full responsibility for whatever the fuck will happen once they wake up. Chica thinks nothing of it! It'll be fine!

It kind of is fine but she definitely didn't expect for everyone to gain a small bear for a son or a beaver for a new family member.

Helpy and El Chip never expected to wake up again and oh god all their parts are completely different to what they used to be holy shit they never used to be able to do that oh god oh fuck-

But hey, they have each other and a brand new family so they guess this is a win.

Actually, with that set up, you would easily have Roxy acting as the mentor/older sibling figure to El Chip whether she intends to or not and she and Chica just end up with Helpy as their kid somehow. Roxy forever wondering how she ended up with another one when she's already basically the Mini Music Men's second/third parent just oh god someone save her why does she keep ending up with tiny robot kids someone save her please-

[problematicfavesareproblematic]

Band of Brothers-

Cute/charming things they say when they walk into a room and see you/you walk into a room and they see you:

Babe: 

“oh SHIIIIIT! There’s my BABY! Do you see her, fellas? GodDAMN, I’m a lucky sonofabitch!” 

(you blush so hard and are just like Babe, we’re at work stahp it but he dgaf).

It’s embarrassing and always makes Martin glare so imploringly at you that you’ll go over to Babe just to make him be quiet. Because, you know, YOU’RE AT WORK. 

This bitch is shameless when it comes to loving on you, having once come to stand next to you when Sink was giving an important announcement and straight-up PINCHED. YOUR. ASS. 

how you didn’t yelp is a miracle, and how no one else seemed to notice was equally astounding 

(oh, the boys noticed. They kinda shipped it tho, so it was more a matter of hiding their joy). 

Needless to say, it only happened the once, something you made Babe swear after you pulled him aside and punched him in the arm. 

Don’t worry, you kissed it better.

Roe: 

bb boy doesn’t say anything at first, 

the smile he saves just for you is playing at his lips as you walk up to meet him, tho.

The moment you’re close enough that he can smell the  sweet mint of your gum, he’ll whisper something sweet like “hey you” or “mon amor”, or maybe just your name 

(bc let’s be honest, his accent is 10 out of 10 and he could read me the dictionary and I’d still rock an ugly giggle/snort combo). 

If it’s a more serious situation, like if you’re hurt oh lordy

he will literally shout your name until either you shout back or someone tells him where you are. 

I could see him being a face holder, in the sense that he does it to reassure himself that you’re okay and make sure he has your undivided attention. 

Since getting injured in Carentan, you hadn’t been as close to the frontlines as you had been, so when you were needed you are REALLY NEEDED, 

and even if he didn’t like it Gene knew you were the best at what you did. 

Gene also feels better if he knows where you are.

 Even when you eventually return to Easy, he will feel better knowing which Foxhole you’re in, and knowing he’s seen to it your first aid kit was fully stocked.

Liebgott: 

THAT FUCKER’S SMIRKING AT YOU SO OPENLY that whoever he had been talking to instantly goes 

*sigh* y/n’s just came in, didn’t she? 

And he won’t even ANSWER because he’s already shoving past them to walk up and eye you with obvious satisfaction. 

“Bout time you showed up,” he��d say casually, hands finding your hips giving them a quick squeeze. 

“Sooner we get briefed, sooner we can get outta here.” 

(You’re not fully sure what ‘getting outta here’ entails, but if the way he looked at you was any indication, you had a feeling it didn’t involve anything less than PG-13 sexy times.)

Bull: 

“Hey, little lady.”

He’ll say it no matter how tall or short you are, how wide or how narrow.

He will always say it to you that when you first see each other in the morning 

(sometimes, you wake up to Hey, little lady being kissed into the soft skin behind your ear.) 

(Once while on a 48 hour pass, he’d woken you up that way in a REAL bed and the two of you had nearly gotten him sent up Curahee for being late coming back because you’d ended up spending more time in that bed than either of you anticipated Whoops)

(Even if he had been late, he definitely wouldnt have minded, tbh. He fully considered going AWOL if it mean neither of you had to leave the bed)

but throughout the day he’s more concerned about getting his hands on some part of you whenever the two of you had been apart- 

even if it was for like five minutes. 

Nothing over the top- holding his arm up and out so you can step into his side, a press of his lips to your temple. 

Idk guys i just feel like he’d just love you so much that everyone would be able to see, which they do and they all think it’s fucking cute

Buck: 

He doesn’t always call out when he sees you, mostly because your eyes always seem to find his. 

The two of you could be across a field from one another with a thousand angry Germans between you, guns blazing, and the two of you would always spot each other like two honing beacons. 

If its downtime and you guys don’t have to be on your guard he’ll ABSOLUTELY wolf whistle in at you, 

You’ll see a stupid grin lighting up his face as he nods in your direction. 

“Take a look, boys. I think we’ve got ourselves a…” 

and he always waits until you’re close enough that he can wrap a quick arm around your waist and pat your hip. 

“Certified babe-asaurus!” 

(in a foxhole somewhere, a wild Babe’s head pokes up in confusion). 

You groan and boo him, and whoever he was with inevitably ends up booing him too.

But he doesn’t care because seeing you smile makes him so happy you guys.

Lipton: 

If you’re in public, he will quietly step up beside you and place his hand gently between your shoulder blades.

He’s not super into PDA, which you didn’t mind because what he didn’t show in physical touch he more than made up for in open admiration. 

He is in awe of you 

sometimes he worries you forget how highly he thinks of you, how highly everybody thinks of you 

(you don’t forget, but he’s just one of those people who will get intrusive thoughts like that and sometimes has a hard time shaking them so plz just let him say it ok?)

so he always whispers some praise with his greeting 

(Hey, beautiful...Doin’ okay, love?...What’re you thinking, brilliant girl?). 

It’d probably seem like overkill if anyone else did it but Carwood is just so goddamn sincere that you can’t help but duck a quick kiss to his shoulder. 

HOWEVER! 

If you two kids are alone….

OH BOI. 

He is handsy, coming up and caging you with his arms, 

probably pulling you close quickly so you lose your balance and he can hold you a lil bit.

(He likes to sweep you off your feet im so sorry)

 That’s when his praises are hushed and sighed between long slow kisses. 

Nixon: 

Like Liebgott, he’s a snarky motherfucker who will get the most self-satisfied grin on his face the moment he sees you, instantly turning on the famous Lewis Nixon charm ( something he’d long since decided belonged to you and you alone.)

“Uh oh,” he’d say, looking you up and down before raising an eyebrow.

(bc your hot but also he doesn’t want to get all flirty if you’re hurt or sick or something’s up bc ur not just something to flirt with- YOU ARE A BADASS WITH BADASS RESPONSIBILITIES AND THAT WAS SOMETHING HE very often and sometimes FOUND SO HOT THAT IT MADE HIM THINK HE MAY HAVE AN AUTHORITY FETISH this has been a PSA) 

“Here comes trouble.”

you roll your eyes, the behavior you once found cocky and arrogant having becoming endearing somewhere between Toccoa and England. 

He has absolutely no qualms about PDA (verbal or physical), so it’s up to you to reign him in 

(especially if he’s a lil tipsy, poor Luz didn’t need to hear Lewis’s sloppy and shameless plea for you to let him eat you out on top of piano he’d found in the attic of the billet he’d been assigned. You weren’t able to look at George for a week without wanting to die of embarrassment and Lewis Nixon didn’t get any for two weeks. He was sure to never make such a mistake ever again) 

And Dick had probably grown blind to how Lewis liked to pull you his lap and run his hands up and down your thighs while you played with his hair. 

Also, like Lipton, he probably saves the more explicit acts of PDA for when the company has scheduled downtime 

(but only bc you told him he needed to keep it in his pants any other time he tried to get cute with you)

but you can bet your ass his hand will always try to tap it (your ass, that is.)at least once

a day when he isn’t supposed to.

That’s when you get to punish him whoopsies

Dick: 

since the day you were introduced to Dick in Georgia, the boy always made sure to stand when you entered a room and will call you “ma’am”,

(you know, LIKE HE DOES ONLY BECAUSE HE HAS TO FOR SOBEL BC RANKS. I feel like he has a “we salute the woman, not the rank” speech queued up for anyone who tried to give him shit for it BUT THAT’s JUST ME)

but he has a knowing look in his eye that makes the term ‘ma’am’ feel anything but impersonal.

It confused the shit out of replacements, who would automatically stand because their superior officer (that would be Big Dick Winters) did- only to see you standing there in your fatigues with a coffee in each hand with a look of mutual confusion on your face. 

(bc while they like you, but they’re confused still bc while you’re a boss ass bitch,  you didn’t outrank him...or at least they theink you dont?) 

Babe had been the one to ask you about the longing looks and lingering glances, and when you didn’t know how to answer him you’d gone to Nixon, 

He’d burst into tearful laughter and was unable to get it together enough to explain anything.

Dick had been the one to bring it up the next time they were alone, weirdly enough, as she proofread his report for errors that didn’t exist. 

Because you warrant it, he’d said when pressed for a reason why he greeted her like a ranking officer, looking down at his boots as they both blushed like teenagers at a school dance. 

After that, he still stood wherever you walked in

but now he made a point to brush his fingers against yours at some point during the time you were together. 

He’s the definition of a slow burn friends-to-lovers story, and boi can get spicy LEMME TELL YOU.

(this is my first writing thing ever plz let a sister know if there are any glaring typos. Also i’m roughly 97 years late to fandom but I brought y’all some starbucks so plz let me in thank you)

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Taken (Early Years)

Summery- Curtis x Y/N, five years after being put on the train. Loss of will to live, Curtis insists on keeping you alive. Angst.

Word Count- 3879

They had to make fun where they could, You would make up games with a die you still had, your younger brother, Matt sitting cross legged across from you on the bunk and a 4 year old Edgar in your lap, leaning over as much as possible without falling out of your lap. Matt just tossed the die, all three of you waiting to see where it would land.

"Okay Edgar, count the dots" you tickled him, the boy squealing before pushing your hands away. When he leaned over, his little lips counted softly, and his turned wide eyed towards you. "Three?" You nod and Matt cheers, putting up his hand to fist bump. "Boom man" Matt imitated a move you seen Curtis do a hundred times, imitating his hand blowing up on impact, Edgar falling over in a head half out of your lap giggling. 

"Alright, so when we roll a three, you got two choices." You said to the two of them. "You can either do 3 tumbles here in the bunk or 3 sprints to the gate and back."

While the boys discussed which to do, Curtis popped his head in. "3 sprints is the way to go, I mean…" he was hanging onto the bars to bring himself level to look in, hopping down and pretending to shade his eyes to see further down. "You guys will have the whole aisle to race" 

So it was decided, and you handed Edgar out to Curtis, who swung the boy down while Matt squirreled himself out right behind, jumping down. You shifted to sit on the edge, your legs dangling over the edge, enjoying watching the three of them. Curtis was squatted between the two boys, he was holding the back of there shirts to keep them from bolting. "Count of three, touch the gate and back to this spot. One…. Two…. Two and a half…" his hand had to tighten on Edgar who had anticipated three. "Okay three! Go go go!" 

Releasing them, they bolted and hands to his knees, he rose from the squat and leaned back against the bunk, tipping his head back to look up at you. "Running out of ideas of how to keep them entertained yet?" You crossed your eyes out at him and reached over to push his cap over his eyes. 

"Well you got some ideas Curtis feel free to share. Better then them trying to spy of the super secret Gilliam meetings y'all keep having." You teased him as he readjusted his cap, rolling his eyes at you. "Super secret? Anyone is free to join, I think McGregor might be onto something actually Y/N." He said with a hint of hopefulness you've haven't heard from your friend before. Twitching your nose, all this was a bit over your head. It worried you, and knowing Curtis like you did, he would be in the very front.

Your ankle started jittering nervously, picking at your shirt. "So…. Uh…. Like nothings happening right away right?" His hand lifted to still your ankle, turning to face you. "Dont worry, nothings happening right away, its all just talk." Letting out a whoosh of air, you nod and smile apologetically. "Sorry, its just we've all heard the stories and saw what happened to the seven." 

He turned to face you, shaking his head lightly. “It wont be like that, no one will be leaving the train. Not alive anyways. We already know we cant survive out of this, but we can get the perks. Getting to the engine. McGregor wants to end Wilfords reign.” His hand came up to straighten out his beanie from where you had messed with it earlier, tugging it off and about to refold it.

You take the beanie from his hands though and fold up the edges, tugging him closer so you didn't have to lean over to much and fix it on his head, crossing your eyes at him to tease. “Okay, okay. It doesn't sound like a bad idea. And it would be nice to see what else they got on here. I mean, do they have actual food in the front still? Cause I would love chocolate again.” turning your head, you squint. “boys still down there? they should have come back up by now.”

 Curtis glanced down and cupped his hand to call the boys "Hey! Thought we were racing?!" He watched a few moments to be sure they had heard him, and remarked his own desires. “Do you remember burgers? Like big juicy bacon burgers with lots of melted cheese? and fries?” He made a drooling face and you cuffed at his shoulder, groaning. “Stoooop! now I want fries with loads and loads of cheese and gravy.” He made a face of disgust. “What? You eat fries with Ketchup!”

Matt took Edgars hand and they started walking back, making you frown at the sight. Maybe the younger boy was tired out finally, when the familiar sound of the gate opened. Armed men came in, the guns sweeping over immediately towards the boys "stop right there" Matt went stiff as he stopped walking, Edgar pulled away though, racing back up the aisle with fear, and sprinting towards the two of you. "Edgar hide!" Curtis hissed as the boy clashed into his arms and Curtis swept him into the bunk. "Go Edgar, get out of here." The boy nodded as he climbed away into the other bunks making his way towards the back through peoples sleeping spaces. You slid down, and started to make your way up towards the front to reach Matt, his face twisting in fear as he was forced to sit. 

Claude stepped in, her heels clicking against the metal grate, whispering to the first guard. They stepped forward and motioned for the crowd to sit down, and the ones in front did. Your hands grasped Matts shoulders, he was shaking under your hands. Smiling you whispered to him "Hey, it's okay." And you sat down, looking over your shoulder, your parents were just coming up at the back of the crowd, your eyes also searched out Curtis, who was a few rows back, squatting as he had before. 

"Okay boys, come up. Wilford needs you." Claude crossed her arms and looked over the boys emerging from the crowd. Your hand tightened on Matt and didn't dare move should she look over the crowd. “put your head down” You whispered to your brother, hoping that he would blend in enough, she wouldnt notice him. What would Wilford want with kids? Claude grasped one boys chin and tilted his face back and forth, pushing others aside, tutting her disappointment. She looked over the crowd and then she locked eyes with you. And try as you might, you couldn't hold her gaze. It turned towards Matt and you knew she wanted him. 

Starting to scramble up, tugging on Matt's shirt, the guards pushed into the sitting people, grabbing the boy under the arms and snatching him out of your grasp. "NO, GIVE HIM BACK, MATT" Your following them through, pummeling your hands against the guards back. Claude back hands you viciously. "Teach her where she belongs." Claude snapped as she ripped Matt to her side, marching them out. Already you were pushing your way up to follow, and the guard smashed his heavy boot right into your chest, sprawling you back again. You didn't notice the air knocking out of you, just that Matt was getting further out of your reach and again you were scrambling across the floor, trying to pull yourself up. 

“Dumb bitch, they never learn back here” The man sneered as he lifted his gun to smash the butt of the rifle into your back, dropping you to flatten against the aisle floor, crying. “Now stay down or else” You were never one to listen, and you were trying to push yourself up, the guard lifting to hit you again. It was then a large pair of arms circled around your waist and yanked you back, much as you struggled against them. “Let me go!” You raged, your teeth coming down to bite whatever part was closest, getting a mouth full of dirty jacket, never would be able to sink into anything substantial. But fuck if you weren't going to try. Curtis spoke in your ear as he turned his back to the beating raining down. They were meant to hit against you, but his body now sheltered your struggling one as they beat into his back, and one clipped the back of his neck, bringing his weight down to smother you, arms tightening to keep you against him. He hissed against the back of your head, and further above you, muffled sounds and screams were issued. 

Tonya then started to rile up the crowd, knowing it was basically the only chance to draw off the mass of guards beating on the two of you, crowds of people following her lead to tackle them, and the confusion issued a few shots into the crowd, before dispersing. During this period, Curtis managed to pull you further back into the train and dump you into a bunk, pushing you back into the shadowed area. You moved to follow him back out, not caring any longer, but his hand roughly pushed you back and he growled out sharply. “Stay the fuck there Y/N” 

When he disappeared from sight, you covered your head in your arms, breaking out a sob as all of what just happened overtook your body. He was gone, they took Matt, and you had no idea why. It was just a known fact that people taken past those prison like gates, they were never returned. Would he be okay? He was 11 years old, why would they want him in the first place. Your mom came in, tears tracking down her face as her hands frantically searched you for injuries. You clung to her, sobbing into her jacket as she tried to calm you. There was no way to make it better, no way to take away that hollow sense of loss that overtook the two of you. Wilford shattered your life again. Her fingers brushed along the back of your skull, and came back sticky hot. “Y/N, your bleeding. Let me look” She crooned at you, lifting your hair and grabbing a rag to blot it.

The day passed and when it all went quiet again, people breaking off to retreat to there own little spots and groups, you moved from where you had curled up. Your parents were afraid to push you to speak, and Curtis came back, sporting bruises on his face, and haunches slightly. Quietly he let his hand trace your face, soft whispers “Y/N? Im so sorry... “ You pulled away from him, hiding your face. “Please dont Curtis” you whisper, and he pulls his hand back, his own eyes swimming, glazed blue. 

 Your eyes were red and burning, there was no more tears left, and after hours of staying still, you finally moved, it takes a bit till feeling really returns, but you work your way down out of the bunk. Clutching your tattered blanket around you, you made your way to the gate, your fingers tracing the seam. Maybe you could pry it open, maybe it wasn't properly sealed, maybe maybe maybe filled your head. Your hands scrambled, your nails breaking against the metal, and you thumped your body against it now in desperation. Again you got wrapped in a pair of arms, and away from the door to swing around, Curtis slid against the gate to sit on the floor, his chin on your shoulder and his thighs gripping around your waist, cocooning himself around you to keep your manic self from hurting yourself any further.

Words just wouldn't come, your throat closed, but inside you mentally threw questions to bounce around your skull. Why why why.... He rocked you slightly till your tension slowly started to seep from you. Blue eyes studied your profile before loosening, your body falling slack against his chest. A hiccup escaped you and he kept his arms loosely hugged around you. Giving another hiccup, you spoke barely above a whisper “What are we going to do Curtis, hes gone. And were trapped in here. Whats even the point in trying anymore?” Your voice was so full of defeat and despair, it hurt Curtis. He blinked back his own tears, still rocking the two of you slightly. “You cant give up Y/N, you never know what will happen.” You knew he was referring to the stirrings, plannings of the tail ends forces, how a riot was this close to happening. In exhaustion you didn't try to struggle anymore, your head falling back against his shoulder, and didn't say anymore. The riots right.... You didnt have faith in that the way he did. That night neither of you moved from the gate. 

Morning came and your parents insisted you return, which you didn't fight them, passively you followed your mother. Several times during the day Curtis would check on you, but you were just utterly hollow with grief. Food, water, the basic necessities were ignored, and every night Curtis would get up in the middle of the night, seeing you huddled against the door, listening for the other side and tracing the edges to find a weak spot. By morning you would be curled up between him and the gate, and he would again pick you up and carry you back to what was home for you. 

“Im worried about her Curtis” Your mother had pulled your best friend aside, her face stretched thin, and in the period of time since Matt had been taken, she aged immensely. Her lips were thin as they pressed together, the lines around them and her forehead now a permanent fixture. “I haven't been able to get her to eat, and we forced water down her the other day. But not enough. Were going to loose her if she doesn't snap out of it. Curtis, I cant loose another.” 

He had seen it to, the way you passed off your portion of protein bar to another, how your face was now pale, loosing its usual hue under the grime. And that scared him, loosing you scared the fuck out of him. You had seen him at his worst and didn't turn away, daily had made him remember what is was like to be human, to tease him, to remind him that he was here for a reason. Holding out his hand for the protein bar she had, his resolve absolute. 

“Give it to me, I will make sure she eats.” 

She didn't question what he was going to do, handing it over and going to help her husband in the wounded bay they had set up. She didn't want to see what Curtis was going to do to convince you, knowing full well how hard headed you would be, and the amount of depression you were battling, just wanting to fade away, die so you didn't have to live a life without your brother. Having already placed the blame on your shoulders for why he was taken. Why did I make them run away to the gate, so far away from where he could have hid and that bitch Claude never would have found him. 

Curtis approached cautiously, you were shivering, wrapped in your blanket. Hearing the thump of his boots you struggled to straighten up, knowing they were worrying about you. Curtis paused in front of you and moved to get level with you, you eyed the block in his hand "I know what your trying to do Curtis. And no. I dont want it." The thought of food made your stomach roll, looking away.

"Y/N, please. I promised your mother." He held the protein bar out for you, and you shake your head in refusal once again. What can't Curtis understand? You just wanted to fade into nothingness. "How about cause I'm Fucken worried Y/N? When was the last time you took care of yourself? You gonna leave me here alone?" He slammed questions, not beneath submitting you to guilt. 

Looking away, and your nostrils flared as you felt the bile rise in your chest, you swallow over and over to keep it down, taking deep breaths to control it. “Curtis go away, okay? Im fine.” His eyes darkened at your refusal, seeming to contemplate how to go about it next with you. He went to grasp your arm, make you take it when you slapped at him, not aiming but you got him right in the face. “I DONT WANT THAT GARBAGE, WHY CANT YOU JUST STOP!” He grabbed your wrists to stop your from clipping him again, you quit struggling soon, tired and weak in this state. “You will before the days over, thats a promise Y/N.” He snapped and released you, leaving you alone, for now. 

Heading straight for the wounded area, Curtis pulled Tonya aside, as she had once been a nurse and started explaining what was going on. Your mother was nearby, and wiping her hands on a rag, she paused nearby, listening. Curtis had been her last hope as your father just focused on the wounded bay to deal with grief and no amount of begging from her had brought you around. 

“What do you think Tonya, can it be done”

“Weve never tried to melt the protein bars down before, but we can try, mix them with water. You stuff any of this crap in her mouth like this, and shes gonna choke on it. You have to be careful though, cause you do not want this getting in her lungs.” Tonya said, washing her hands clear of grime in a pail. “Shes also gonna fight you, you cant loose your temper with her, not when shes like this.” Curtis arched a brow and shook his head. “Im not gonna hurt her, just tell me what to do.” 

That night, you did your trek to the gate, now you just chose to sleep there, no longer trying to pry the door open. It was fate, this was it, you accepted that you would die in this hell hole, and all the loss of those including Matt would no longer hurt your heart. Hearing Curtis footsteps echo against the metal grating lining the aisle, you chose to ignore him. In his hands he held a cup, but was sure to stay out of range of you for now. “Y/N, will you drink this without me having to force you to?” 

“No” Is all you state, tightening your blanket around you. 

“Okay then.... “ You peek and he looks like hes about to leave, but quick he grabs your coat and jerks you to fall back. Straddling your stomach, in shock you try wriggling out from underneath him. “What are you doing?! Curtis this isn't funny, get off!” He was careful to set the cup aside, and grabbing your arms, moving them to the sides of your body and wedging them under his knees to keep you from thrashing, the exertion leaving you panting and dizzy. You were in a worst state then you truly realized. 

“That should have been harder you know” He sighed as he leaned over you, worried lines creased his brow and his jaw ticked. “I told you today you would have food, please dont make me do this Y/N, you know I will” 

Remaining still for now, trying to conserve what strength you had left, you sigh “Curtis, im tired and I dont want to do this anymore, This life. Matts gone, were all just going to die on here.... Sick, wounded, hell killed cause one of us might have something valuable. I cant, dont make me.” Again his jaw clenched, and he reached for the cup. Clamping your mouth shut, you really weren't gonna budge. Pushing your face back when he went to reach for you, his fingers dug into your cheeks and jaws until the pressure became to much and you had to open for him. Tipping the cup, he attempt to pour in enough for a swallow, although it ran along the sides of your face. Releasing, his hand smothered your mouth to prevent you from spitting it out. Still struggling, you glare up at him, maybe even hated him at this moment. Finally you still, your nostrils flaring as you breathed, defying him once more. “God damn it Y/N, your really gonna make me do this arnt you.” He cussed out, clamping your nose shut. Your throat worked compulsive when your lungs burned, forcing you to swallow. 

After five tries of this, most of it had landed on the floor, but he wouldn't stop till he was sure you had something in your stomach, he released you, rolling away from each other. Trying not to cry and gagging, he rubbed your back although you hunched away from him Dont touch me! Your mind screamed as you gagged, the weight of the mixture he forced in you so heavy in your empty stomach, even his voice sounded desperate. “You cant, or I have to do that again” A wave of sickness passed, and you debate whether you should anyways. Your about to spit a venom amount of words at him when finally look at him, and you see him, for like the first time. It was like looking at that 17 year old kid you first met, scared as fuck at all of this, and doing whatever he could to stay alive. Only now he was doing that for you, even though he didnt speak it, his whole face said it. Please, I need you. 

You wipe at your mouth with the back of your hand, and crawl over to sit next to him, where he had dropped his head into his hands, giving a soft sob. “Your a real pain in my ass, you know that Y/N” He finally says as you lean your head on his shoulder. When he feels you sink in against his side, he wraps an arm around you and holds you close without saying anything more. You know no one else would have gone through all this, and sure enough he was the only one there, fighting to keep you alive. Were you fixed? Hell no, you still had that emptiness of loss that you suspected now never really would go away. But maybe you can try for him. 

“And yet you keep sticking around. I dont know what for, cause supposedly Im such a pain in the ass.” retorting back, That caused him to chuckle lightly, sniffling as he got himself under control.

“Do you promise to eat Y/N? Cause I will keep doing this if I have to.” 

Remaining silent as you let what he was asking, and simply stating as a fact, you can feel your resolve finally giving way completely. 

“For you I will. Curtis.... do you think Matt is still alive?” You feared his answer, if he said no, then it would really be true.”

“Yes Y/N, trust me. Hes alive” a man who still had faith. 

[fernandoswarcrimes]

Ego Season: Rules of the Game (part 2)

(If you get the refrence at the end ⭐️ for you)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Josettè had gotten up the next morning to go on her morning run after lastnight she knew she'd get along with some of the boys, but Trevor?...that was going to be a major challenge. She slipped outside and started her morning jog she made sure to have the adress in her maps just Incase she went far enough she wouldn't remeber her surroundings and how to get back still being new to the area. By the time she got back to the house and showered she made her way back downstairs she saw cole in the kitchen leaning over the island eatin a bowl of cereal "morning Jos" he mumbled in between bites she smiled grabbing a glass of orange juice leaning against the counter.

"So you ready to show all the boys up today at practice?" He asked looking over at her with a smile, he didn't see the problem with them having a girl on the team if she was as good as the scouts thought she was enough to invite her (not to mention looking at her highlights with the Silvertips) then she deserved to be there with them.

Josettè looked up confused she didn't know he knew it was supposed to be kept hush hush. "My mom told me lastnight, said I could give you a lift when I go she has to run some errands today or else she would've taken you" he said as he finished his ceral taking the bowl over to the sink and washing it out. “Gotcha I guess I'll go grab my bag then you look already to go don't want you to be late" Josettè said as she rinsed her cup out setting it on the drying rack before heading upstairs to grab her hockey bag from her room slipping her shoes on as she made her way downstairs meeting cole at the door

"So I take it the coach knows but the boys don't" She asked as they both made their way out to the car putting their bags in the trunk getting in the car "yeah they don't know, I think jack has somewhat of an idea but he hasn't said anything to anyone besides you know..me, he was the one who pointed out how good you were to some of us an then my mom told me you were coming to stay for a while. He kinda guessed something was up." Cole nodded as they drove to the arena for practice they didn't say much for a few minutes before he spoke up again "by the way how was it playing for the Silvertips? You played with uh Hart right? The Flyers new goalie?"

"Yeah, i finished school 2 years early being a foreign exchange student from France. Then got offered a spot there. I played with him for maybe a year or two before he got called up. He was really nice showed me a lot of tricks and stuff hes the only friend I really had or let get close to me since I don't have any siblings. He was so down to earth and just all around nice guy I wish some guys were that nice" Josettè rambled moving her hands about as she spoke about her time in Everett and being friends with the young Goalie. Cole glanced over at her briefly as he drove he was starting to see glimpses of the real Josettè behind the mask she put on infront of everyone he'd hoped the more they got to know eachother she'd trust him like she did Carter. "But yeah I enjoyed it in Everett didn't really want to leave but couldn't really pass this opportunity up plus with carter moving up it just felt right." She spoke as he nodded understanding what she meant.

They arrived at the arena about 10 minutes later both grabbing their respective bags from the trunk and heading inside, "so I'm supposed to meet with Coach John about everything" Josettè said as they walked down the many hallways "I'll take you too him, mom already let him know that I was bringing you in" he said with a smile stopping at a dor labeled coaches and knocked a few times.

The door soon opened and a tall man stepped out "Great! Caufield you're here and you brought Moreaux with you, I'm John Wroblewski Head Coach here. It's a pleasure to have you here I'm sure you will fit right in with the boys from some of the highlights I've seen of your playing style they could probably learn somethin from you in the long run."

Josettè nodded with a smile while he turned to Cole "alright go get changed and head on out on the ice for practice I gotta get her paperwork and stuff ready then we'll meet you boys out there." John said as Cole nodded patting Josettès shoulder before heading off to the lockeroom to get ready.

A little while later after they went over the paperwork and schedules and stuff that would go on John showed Josettè where she could change and then met him at the end of the hall when she was done making sure her braid was tight against her head and wouldnt come lose, and followed behind him as they headed out to the ice where the rest of the team was with the assistant coach.

John cleared his throat getting the boy's attention as they stopped running the drills they were doing "Boys, we usually don't do this and this is a first for us and the league, but we're bringing in a new person to the team. Guys I'd like you to meet Josettè Moreaux, I know a few of you have seen her skills and highlights from her time spent in Everett with the Silvertips. I expect all of you to treat her with the same respect you would any other teammate."

He motioned for Josettè to step onto the ice and join the boys to which she did getting a few odd looks from the ones she didn't recognize but all smiles from Cole, Alex, Spencer and Jack. Trevor on the other hand was aggravated to say the least, how could Wroblewski let this happen let alone agree to having a girl on their boys team.

They had a whole woman's team just for that reason. He huffed turning to Jack "Are we seriously letting a girl on the team? That's what womens hockeys for Jack not our development team, why aren't you objecting to this shit? She's going to ruin our whole team dynamic she's toxic and a bitch can't you see that!? Am I the only one who's seeing this?" He whisper shouted.

Jack gave Trevor an exasperated deadpanned look "Trevor we've known her not even twenty four hours. I don't think you have the resources and facts to back up those last two statements. As for the first one yes, we are letting a girl on the team. If coach didn't think this was a good idea he would've had her be on the woman's team ever think she may be too good for them and we could actually learn some things from her? Just let it go you're making an ass out of yourself. Coles parents wouldn't let her stay if she was anything like that." He pointed out as Josettè crossed her arms and looked over at Trevor

"You know, for whispering you're extremly loud, so I'm sorry? Is you're precious pride and ego scared that you'll get outshown by a girl? Because let's be honest honeybun, you don't have a lot going for you. Except that you're meh semi okay at hockey. And trust me, I've delt with guys like you back in Everett didn't end well for them obviously since I'm here and they're not. Tragic, isn't it?" She said with a smirk just as coach John started talking again

"Alright guys, were gonna start with a one v one to test and see what we need to work on, with knight in the net and then we'll go from there. First up, Caufield and Turcotte the rest take the bench." John said as Josettè and the rest made their way to take their seats on the bench to watch the two go head to head Josettè sat down on the end of the bench only to have Trevor plop down next to her without a care glancing from his two friends on the ice over to Jossettè.

"You know Josie Posie if we get paired up you're gonna lose badly. It's gonna be embarrassing and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it." He said with a smirk Josettè chuckled shaking her head keeping her eyes on the two on the ice as they went head to head "You know, I make cold calculations about difficult situations, and I do not take on anything I know I won't win. And i know I will win this. You can bet on that Sweetheart"

Trevor huffed at the mocking sweetheart nickname. "Yeah right that's like trying to use a croissant as a fucking dildo. It doesn't do the job and it makes a fucking mess. So cut the shit Posie it's not happening. You won't beat me one on one" he said rolling his eyes as John conviently called her and Trevor up next.

Josettè stood up patting his cheek "don't cry when I wipe the floor with you then, like I said...you'd eat those words Zegras." She said grabbing her stick stepping on the ice she could here him muttering behind her as they both got in position in center ice as John dropped the puck Josettè was quick to win the face off taking the puck darting around Trevor and off towards Spencer.

She could hear Trevor coming up behind her and quickly moved to the right backtracking with the puck as Trevor had turned around and was coming towards her to try and get the puck away from her, she quickly looked between him and Spencer before aiming and winding up for her signature one timer before sending the puck straight through Trevor's legs & right through Spencer's as well leading to a perfect five hole goal.

She smirked at Trevor and smiled sheepishly at Spencer "sorry had to make a point to Zegras here." Spencer waved her off he was a bit shocked himself that she was able to make that goal so easily, Trevor looked at her and over to Spencer with a questioning look as if to ask his friend if he let the goal in purposely.

Spencer who shook his head in denial making Trevor turn back to Josettè a bit shocked but quickly covering it up with an aggravated questioning tone making a bigger deal out of it than needed be "Are you kidding me? You just made that five hole goal on Spencer of all people."

"What? Like it's hard?"

Josettè said with a shrug as she heard the boys whooping and hollering as she winked at Trevor skating backwards towards the bench fist bumping a few of the guys as they all started excitedly talking about what just happened.

Trevor was puzzled to say the least. He knew he'd get her to break or so he tbought he just had to find what made her tick and hit the nail on the head with it.

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.09 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Choni ❤️❤️❤️ But “stealing from.the rich to give to, well, us” what? Cheryl… YOU’RE RICH. Give some of the money to the Serpents They need it a bit more than you do baby. BUT BITCH THEIR FIRST I LOVE YOU I’M—

- Five weeks of the quarantine… that would have made an INCREDIBLE story line? Seriously? It would have been amazing to see Sweet Pea being temporary king while Jarghead and FP were gone. But no… let’s just skip the good part? What the fuck kinda writing skips.a great plot?

- “All physical contact must be kept to a minimum?” um… literally WHY? There’s literally NO reason for that to be a rule? Also fuck off Moose no ones likes a tattle tale and we all know that you’re slumming it up with Kevin after school so leave my babies alone. Oh. it’s for the seizures? Really? Dude SEIZURES ARE NOT FUCKING CONTAGIOUS YOU STUPID FUCKERS OH MY GOD. Stop trying to keep then gays from being cute!!!!!!!

- The RROTC made the rules? Dude they don’t run the school lmao that’s NOT HOW THINGS WORK

- JOSIE SINGING!!! MY BABY VERONICA!!! UGH FUCK ME UPPPP

- VEGGIE. VERONICA IS LOOKING AT JOSIE’S INCREDIBLE SINGING WHILE REGGIE IS AWING AT VERONICA I’M—

-  Ew and then my mood is ruined by bughead waking up 😷😷😷

- Betty put all of those girl’s… in HER house? THE COOPERS CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES LET ALONE THOSE GIRLS. Also don’t they fucking have families? And yes, Betty, that scream definitely would wake up your mom because they have those motherly instincts and they’d think their child was hurt, so ofc she’s going to wake up.

- They want to play… G&G… are you kidding me? I kinda get that it makes them feel better because that’s how they had it in SOQM but still WHY? JUST PLAY CLASSICAL MUSIC OR SOMETHING AND TAKE A BATH.

- Of course Jughead goes from his horrible leadership to “I left you too long” stfu right now your priority is the Serpents and who’s dealing the drugs (although I know who and uhhhh leave them alone he has to stay alive somehow)

 - They don’t even have an elected Sheriff yet? WHY? SHERIFF KELLER DIDN’T DIE DID HE? THEN FUCKING REINSTATE HIM??? IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD YOU STUPID FUCKS

 - “Maybe that means that Archie could come back home” wE KNOW YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM BETTY. Barchie!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

- Reggie ❤️❤️❤️ WOAH WHAT NO LEAVE HIM ALONE? HE ALREADY GETS ABUSED BY HIS FATHER! But aw Ronnie gets to take care of him I’m—

- Hiram really is trying to hustle his daughter wow so uhhh he does know that his daughter is the incredible Veronica Lodge, right? She’ll find a way lol we all know the queen can do everything

- “Has anyone ever told you you’re a badass?” Wow Reggie is so fucking into her I’m just 😭😭

- If Vegas gets hurt RAS will LITERALLY DIE.  I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND I’M NOT READY FOR THIS. Also there’s no way Vegas wouldn’t have seen or heard the bear behind him but sure whatever. ARCHIE JUST BC SHE’S ZONING OUT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T HEAR HER. JUST DO WHAT SHE SAYS JESUS. Also how convenient that it suddenly doesn’t work.

- “They imprinted on me” Betty NEVER say that again that was gross as fuck. “But as their queen, they are your responsibility, not mine” bitch Betty can’t be a queen no matter how hard she tries, and she (nor Jughead) know how to take care of anyone but themselves so… Alice unless you want Betty to end up killing them, this is where you, as the mom, undermine her and take them to the farm. Of course I don’t trust the farm but it’s much safer than the Cooper house hold because they have the resources to spare, the Cooper’s don’t.

- Hey here’s an idea… since you can’t get to Hiram using the nuns because they took a vow of silence (cowards) then maybe… just maybe… OUT IT AS A CONVERSION THERAPY HELL SITE AND USE THAT INSTEAD? But we know Betty doesn’t want to save the gays so 😷😷

- I love Josie’s singing but why is she singing in an empty lounge? REST HER VOCALS.

- I used to love Hiram’s evil-ness but now he just shows up all the time and it’s getting annoying. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD END THIS FUCKING PLOT SO VERONICA CAN FOR ONCE GET HER OWN STORY THAT BETTY DOESN’T TAKE, THAT DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND HER FATHER OR A GUY. SERIOUSLY. They have so much potential with literally any other character but still decide to force Bughead and their separate characters down our throats. Like at this point honestly just kill them both off Jesus Christ

- Jughead… this is a gang… they’ve always sold drugs? At least, weed, but still? You have to take into consideration that you were gone, and they were placed under quarantine, and they needed money. You can’t blame any of them for dealing with Hiram you whiny piss baby. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

- God it bothers me that Jarghead is such a lowsy king. When do we get Sweet Pea overthrowing him? pLEASE WE NEED IT SO TONI CAN LEAD BESIDE HIM. Maybe Swangs (even though I know what happens) and Choni can co-lead the Serpents

- Cheryl speaking facts! AND MY BOY FANGS. Jughead had NOTHING to say to Fangs and FP had to step up and cover for Jughead, because he was right. What else are they supposed to do? Gangs are supposed to do bad shit? Jughead has done ultimate horrible shit and suddenly he’s going to act like a gang is supposed to be clean? Jughead do your research that is not what gangs do. Also, if FP is going to be at every fucking Serpent meeting maybe he should, you know, take his spot back. He’s a MUCH better leader than Jughead, even though I’d prefer it be one of the founding members like TONI FUCKING TOPAZ or something.

- I love how no one really does the “in unity there is strength” thing. Like, they know they’re being lead to slaughter basically and FP is just letting it happen. Also, they’re running the gang into the ground. There is no more unity because JUGHEAD’S STUPID POWER-HUNGRY ASS ISN’T DOING SHIT TO HELP THE GANG. Also also Betty looks so out of place and awkward there. Can’t wait for Archie to come back and for her to realize that he almost died and then realize she can’t live without him and that she loves him and finally bughead can split for good and barchie can rise

- If Veronica paid why the FLYING FUCK did they go after Josie? FucK OFF HIRAM

- Polly you had to say his name. LEAVE MY BOY ALONE.

- FANGS CRYING STOP STOP STOP MY BABY BOY NO NO NO

- “We could’ve helped you” JUGHEAD YOU LITERALLY JUST BANNED CRIME. THE SERPENTS HAVE NO MONEY WHAT ELSE WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO? Also they can’t get mad at him bc this was before Jughead got back and did the stupid crime law like a hypocrite

- DUDE FANGS DID THIS BEFORE THE FUCKING RULE YOU STUPID FUCKERS? LIKE??? DO YOU HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS?

- Oh Jughead has one brain cell left? I know he ends up being cancelled but he’s not… yet.

- CHONI BREAKING IN AND STEALING SHIT YES BITCH

- Why is Archie hallucinating playing G&G? Like doesn’t this mean he’s playing by himself? The fuck?

- Dead ass Cassidy telling Archie it sounds like his fault that all that happened, you can tell that this is Archie’s mind because he always blames himself for things that have nothing to do with him. Because we know that it’s definitely NOT his fault. None of it is.

- Cheryl just HAD to kiss the picture

- JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. MY FANFIC IS COMING TO LIFE. JUGHEAD AND THE SERPENTS PROTECTING VERONICA YASSSSSSSSS

- I’m mad that they didn’t have Joaquin not actually die. Like, Sweet Pea and Fangs were close to him? They could have faked his death like what the fuck

- YES WE LOVE AND STAN LAWYER MCCOY

- How did Jughead know that Toni was involved? Cheryl was the only one who left a stupid calling card.

- THE TEARS WELLING IN TONI’S EYES STOP STOP STOP

- But he can’t fucking kick her out she’s literally a legacy. This crusty white boy needs to sit the fuck down

- Okay one, Cheryl why would you bring Fangs back into it? THE FUCK. Also, Jughead you can’t be disappointed in Fangs for telling SP even though you said not to tell anyone—best friend’s never count. 

- SWEET PEA STANDING UP. FANGS CRYING. “Some leader you are” YES FANGS WHAT A KING. SWEET PEA BBY OH MY GOD

- “And the rest of us don’t get to go back to Thistlehouse” says the disgusting whiny piss baby who gets to sleep in his girlfriend’s house, in her comfortable bed while his gang lays in cots or some shit in tents. Get off your mighty high horse, Jughead. God, now they’re switching roles… Betty is kinda becoming SLIGHTLY tolerable and now Jughead is being so fucking annoying. Go back to how it was please.

- JERONICA. AND VEGGIE. EXCELLENCE.

- So Archie standing over Hiram and shit was all a fucking dream? Really? COME ON. Lol Hiram has a point though because everyone goes in and tells him their fucking plans. OMG THE CALLBACK TO THE FIRST EPISODE WAS GREAT. CALL BACK TO BARCHIE BEING ENDGAME YESSSS.

- So if Veronica ended up smashing the egg… then fucking give Fangs, Toni, and Cheryl their spots in the Serpents back since it was all for nothing anyways.

- I’m glad Cheryl and Nana Rose are housing some fo the girls but WHAT ABOUT THE SERPENTS YOU GUYS HAVE A BIG FUCKING HOUSE. Why didn’t she house some of them there? I mean it’s ooc for Toni not to be thinking of her fellow Serpents why wouldn’t she be like “hey babe you have a lot of room here what if we help house some of the Serpents” but uhhh apparently not.

- Hey FP shut the fuck up with this “she’s still a Lodge” shit because you all know she doesn’t associate herself with her parents anymore. Remember “you don’t have a daughter” or…?

- Jughead brought up when FP worked for Hiram. Hell yeah! But him saying he wants Jughead to be a better king than him? BITCH YOUR SON DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO RUN A GANG. HE SUCKS. HE’S STUPID AND RUINING THE GANG HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT? God never give your throne to blood family.

- Yeah, FP, you’re not made for the sidelines you’re made to RULE you stupid fuck. Maybe you should get back with Alice she makes you more stable and less stupid

- REGGIE’S LIKE “NOT THIS TIME BITCH”

- SWEET PEA WITH A BAT FUCK YEAH

- So… you threaten the gargoyle bitch but you don’t unmask him to see who he is? Are you fucking stupid?

- Wtf… he has to beat himself with a bat on his own bed? I am confusion… WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? THE BLACK HOOD AND HIRAM AND THE GARGOYLE KING HAVE DONE SHIT NOT YOU YOU BIG BAFOON. NO DON’T DESTROY YOU’RE GOOD HEARTED INNOCENCE. YOU’RE THE ONLY BRAVE ONE OF THE CORE FOUR. ARCHIE NO.

- If they make Archie unlikable the only good core four person will be Veronica.

- VERONICA SINGING ❤️❤️❤️ Oh fuck I know this song but I can’t remember where I’ve heard it!!!

- VEGGIE. SHE’S SO FUCKING HAPPY TO SEE HIM I’M— HE’S SO ENAMORED WITH HER. VEGGIE KISS. Why can they make their chemistry shown on screen but Bughead can’t? Like both couples are even dating irl, too…

- JUGHEAD YOU PIECE OF SHIT. He only uses Sweet Pea or Fangs when he has something he doesn’t want to do usually because it’s too dangerous for him (whiny piss baby). DON’T MAKE MY BABY BOY GO UNDERCOVER HE’LL FUCKING GET HURT.

- I’ve literally never hated Jughead more nothing he can do can make up for what he’s done in this episode bye

- What the actual fuck. This is so fucking stupid.

- Archie isn’t dead. If Archie dies before bitch ass Betty or Jiggaloo Jones I will literally come after RAS. 

[vamytas]

18th May ‘94

     Molly,

Thanks for your exhibition prints. I’ve sold a few off the counter, the deer ones are popular. Still find it funny that people opt for the cuter kind, even if the forest frolickers are dead, although when one woman came in to buy a wallet for her husband and I told her the deer was a taxidermy she didn’t seem as eager to look around much more! Shame, that. Tried to tell her half the cost went to the RSPCA but she didn’t buy it. I’ll see if Alex wants one. Have you sent some to Tommy? He’d like the mouse driving the car (that’s him, right...?)

I would say ‘same old’ here if it was true but it’s not. The bloke I work with, Rob, the one who thought it would be a grand idea to throw Alex’s surprise birthday bash, he hasn’t shown up for work in a couple days and he won’t pick up his phone. I could joke that it was Alex’s doing but at this point with the way he’s become such a recluse I wouldn’t put it past him. Maybe they eloped? Not that they have any reason to, didn’t catch on to anything like that. Not that you’d care, obviously (ha ha). I shouldn’t joke about it, though. Rob’s somewhere we don’t know...or at least I don’t know. Thank god Alex is responding even if it’s minimal. I asked him if he knew anything and  he said he didn’t. At the moment it’s a mystery to us but I’m not sure if Rob’s family have managed to get in contact, or if he has any family to worry over him, there’s a lot of characters like that around here.

Don’t be a stranger, even if you have all the critics climbing all over eachother just to glance at your face. Are you really going to try and pull the Banksy thing?

    Much love,

    Seb

P.S. Have you installed your dial-up yet? Data’s quicker to send than paper.

21 May 1994

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: Beep, beep ... nnNNRRHH

Happy to see you’ve joined the legion of the world wide web! I know a lot of people complain about the noise but it doesn’t sound much different to what we used to listen to. You haven’t sold your original 20 Jazz Funk Greats, have you? Not sure it would even rake in much with what we drew all over the back, unless you or Alex get put in the Tate. With the way you’re going I wouldn’t say it’s a far way off! Also need more of those prints! Running low. You’re a popular girl here :) -- that’s called a smiley.

As for the Earnshaw Update: he’s as much a hermit as your sister used to be when she started getting into The Cure. I don’t know what instigated it but he’s only been reachable by phone since his birthday, and only at night. I’ve tried dropping in but his door’s been shut tight and I don’t know where he keeps the emergency key. You should try talking to him (I can resend his address if you’ve lost it, he hasn’t got internet yet). That’s if I can’t tide him over by telling him you’ve got a gift, next time he picks up... if he does. Sorry, that sounds very doom and gloom. I really am worried about him, if only because he hasn’t been in this kind of stasis since... well.

Please get back to me as soon as you can.

Much love,

Seb

23 May 1994

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: He’s alive!

Did you send that print to him? I came by his place tonight and he answered after the first knock! Smiling as ever. He felt colder than a Yorkshire winter, though, and pale. I told him I could help with the gas bill if he needed it but he waved me off. We went out to one of those clubs where everyone is in fishnets and knock-off McQueen, which is nothing new, but they were playing that new MTV gothic stuff, the kind he said he hated -- could be broadening his horizons. I lost him for a bit but he found his way back, he’s somehow easy to distinguish from the crowd now (for me that is, imagine it’s always been the case with you, ha ha!)

He also told me that Rob went on a spontaneous break to Rome. Rob in Rome! And that I’d be getting a “confirmation of assumin’ such responsibilties required of a leather shoppe owner, as well as the salary”. Alex and him were closer than I thought.

It’s all looking up here. What’s happening with you? Apart from the Guardian editorial, you don’t tell me much apart from work!

Much love,

Seb

27 May 1994

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: Concerned again.

I don’t mean to ignore the other topics covered in our ditties but Al has gone Weird. I know he always has been, in that ‘cool cousin’ kind of way but now he’s just... I don’t know. He’s practically nocturnal. There’s more and more stuff popping up in his wardrobe that he used to say was a ‘fuckin’ disgrace of shite taste’ -- the chokers! There must be about ten discarded around his whole place. I’ve seen some of his paintings too and they’re dark, as in David Lynch meets Goya’s black paintings, I mean they’re good -- really good -- but it just seems excessive.

Worst of all, he keeps mentioning Ricky. Since the accident he’s been fairly healthy with talking about it but now it seems like he’s got this growing obsession with ‘what it all meant, his death’, I don’t even know what Alex meant by that.Then he’ll ask me where I think Ricky is now and honestly I don’t know, I don’t like to think about it. I just keep saying ‘somewhere warm’  because it seems like Alex needs the comfort. I don’t know if what happened to Ricky got to him more than he let on before, or if he was too preoccupied at the time with making sure I didn’t do anything drastic. Was I that needy?

I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what to suggest either. Sorry to end on such a downer of a note.

Love,

Seb 

1 June 1994 

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: Dire.

I don’t know him anymore, Molly. When we don’t go out he just wants to talk about Ricky with me, like I’m a proxy for some kind of loss he’s going through. But I don’t know what loss that is -- you? It’s the only comparison I can think of. I feel like the kid stuck between two divorced parents with you two sometimes. Except he avoids talking about you all together and if I do bring you up, like how you were moving back to London, he just looks down, rubs his beard... a new habit. 

(Beard, yeah. I forgot to tell you because it was a really gradual transition at the time that I didn’t notice, but he has this Jesus thing going for him. Before, I didn’t think much of it but now it’s like an inherent look he should have been born with, innate? I could never imagine him looking like it but now it’s hard to imagine him looking any different.)

Anyway, beards aside. He’s getting... creepy. When we’re not drinking he just wants to postulate on death and ‘what comes after’, he’s a right fucking misery to be around. Although I haven’t seen him drink much at all, do you think he’s on drugs or something? It’s the only conclusion I can come up with, and I don’t have anyone else to ask about this because they’re all in the same scene he is.

Please reply soon.

Seb

2 June 1994

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: -

Okay there are some things I’ve witheld for a long time because I didn’t want to cause you any unnecessary pain. As much as I know you say you’re fine it’s never a gift to hear these things but I feel it has a lot to do with how Alex is now.

After we moved to SF he started seeing this woman who I didn’t see much of myself,,  she set me on edge but I can understand how he was drawn to her because I think it was mainly a sex thing to get over you. I told yu before that he was a catastrophic mess after you left and things got better but when I say catastrophic mess I really mean it, I won’t state examples because I dont mean to make you feel guilty Molly but it’s the truth and I don’t know what to do anymore.

I didnt want to make uyo worry  because i know you;re already dealing with enough already, and i didnt want this matter in particular to be especially distressing for you. But I think alex and this woman were into heavy stuff  - not drugs but maybe that too. We went out while he was with this girl, in January, I think? it was to one of those fetish clubs, wasn’t my thing. But he left me there alone without telling me he was leaving, hhe left with the girl and didn’t even leave me  a voicemail. I got home fine, couldn’t sleep though. But then  I went over to check on him in the morning and his back was covered in gashes and blood. he didnt wake up but he was breathing. i didn’t know what to do,  i pretended i never walked in and he called me soon after to apologise for the night but i  wouldnt say anything about his back because i thought it was a bdsm thing but with the way hes acting now i dont know if he was being abused? I dont know the telltale signs, just that he’d follow this woman around like she had him on a leash.

There are still parts of him I recognise but there’s something about him which feels out of touch, like he’s not the same person but trying to be.  I dont know how to put it, maybe I’ve been away from someone who can actually talk about these problems for too long

The thing is I havent seen him with this woman in a while, since his birthday I’d say. Despite it he seems a lot happier now than when he was with her (apart from the Ricky fixation) but he’s gone full blown Byronic Bohemian.  He’s invited me out almost every day in the past week and since this was an improvement from locking himself inside, I tried to go as much as I could. Each time I’d lose him for a while because he’d gone off with a girl . He thinks he’s being discreet but I’m not much of a dancer for these places so all there’s left to do is watch. Sometimes he goes home with them and offers to pay me for a taxi, which is a step up from leaving me stranded, I’ll give him that.

I know I shouldn��t have but I looked through his art yesterday (his emergency key is in a broken light on a wall outside his door), not his stuff under the bed but in his wardrobe. There’s five entire sketchbooks of you, some of the drawings are so beautiful, he still remembers how you look exactly but in others they just seem... off? Not that they don’t look like you because they do, even if it’s a few strokes, but for someone who knows you they just look like he;s trying to put through what he is now onto you?  I don’t know. that doesnt make sense.Then there are some Ricky drawings in there too but  I don’t want to talk about them.  he writes stuff around you and Ricky, dates and places and random lines like ‘snake chokes on its own tail’ and ‘saw him around Seb’s’.  I  think he’s scared of losing parts of himself and not being able to get them back.

Please talk to him  Molly , you know his number and email . I know you think you’ll do him more harm than good but I don’t know what to say, if I point out how he’s acting weird he just resorts to deflective humour ‘it’s all part of being a la Americana now’. But I’m worried if I push it he’ll get angry. Sometimes I don’t feel safe with him and I don’t know why. Please reach him, I miss him, nothing’s right with Alex like this. I’m getting homesick because there’s nothing here that seems real anymore, everything feels like I’m watching it through a TV screen and it’s muted, or the music’s too loud to hear what people are really saying. I don’t want to leave Alex alone but I feel like I’m in a coma here.

Do you think I could stay with you for a while?

Love always,

Seb

[unpopular-bishop]

i've realized why i'm still upset with duen and all it took was an awful night's sleep!!

the bohn and mind situation reminds me so much of the khai and chingching situation!! in both cases, our "playboy" characters get kissed against their will and then get blamed and dumped for it. and in the end, they are the ones to apologize and continue to take that blame. this scene in my engineer rubbed me so wrong bc i am still chafing about it from theory of love!!

putting my thoughts under a read more bc it turned into 2k of bullshit. tw: consent and assault

i'm not a khai apologist okay, i get it. as much as i adore him now, the first handful of tol episodes were hard af for me to get over bc i just!!! wanted!!! to beat him up!!!! and let third go find a good boyfriend (and friend) who would appreciate him. but khai won me over with how obviously he was trying his best to change. i know some people maybe think that it was too sudden but imo it wasnt because a whole lot had just happened to make him want to be a better person:

he'd just had his world turned upside down from finding that video confession; he felt like he was losing third, who has been his stable best friend literally since their first few days at college, and he didnt understand why bc honestly in his own selfish stupid way he did that awful shit to try to save their friendship; he nearly died after a fight with third where third told him to leave him alone and his last thoughts were of third and how badly he'd fucked up. like he got into a major accident and walked back to third just to see him again. when he woke up, third was there but there was still such distance between them. and he hated it. all of those things happened to make him realize exactly how much he loved and valued third, and how badly he had treated third thruout their relationship.

so khai tries. he tries to be a better person, a better person for third. you know what old khai would have done upon meeting chingching? you best believe he would have been all over that. but instead he was polite and kind but distant to her. all he did was give her a ride to the faculty and not out right reject her when she auditioned. that was it. that was it! (honestly khai began to treat girls politely but distantly upon falling for and pursuing third. even jam on the beach, he was never rude or mean. polite and distant is his new way of dealing with people who may upset his relationship with third. he also treated milk this way when she showed up and harassed him at his apartment which i also have feelings about).

khai says he put himself in the situation to be kissed. but here is the situation: he went out with his friends. that's it? that is the situation. he went out with the sound crew (kind of reluctantly even), and was again polite and distant with chingching. he was happy and feeling good because he was making progress with the person he finally feels secure and loved with, he's changing the way he lives and treats people. he's happy.

and then he gets assaulted by a girl he has done nothing to encourage. then he tries to leave and finds third kissing another guy. and then third blames him for being assaulted (bc being kissed against your will is assault, and i'll get back to that with bohn), and then when he finally catches up to third, third throws a glass bottle at him, yells at him and, in the end, tells him he thinks khai is unable to love.

and of course third is allowed to feel this way about all of these things, but he is so ready to believe the worst of khai. he is absolutely ready and willing (to the point of getting upset with two for trying to convince him otherwise) that khai is the same khai that has hurt him time and time again. he has been hurt too much and he just cant stick his already sliced neck out again like that. which is valid and understandable! khai has hurt him! (and khai assaulted him too, which i could also get into. but khai kissing third against his will doesnt mean that chingching kissing him is in any way acceptable as some sort of karma imo).

what got me though was just how miserable and vulnerable khai was when he talks about this with third finally. of course third wouldnt believe him. of course he put himself in that situation. of course its hit fault that a girl kissed him bc he has a reputation. nevermind that all he did was go out with friends (and alongside his current love interest) and drink? is khai supposed to be on guard at all times now, just in case someone who knows he is a playboy decides they wanna forcibly lock lips with him against his will?

all of this is to say that i just wish third had told khai it wasnt his fault that he was kissed against his will. is it his fault that there is a severe lack of trust between them? absolutely. but khai is not responsible for chingching's bad actions. he was assaulted and blamed for it and felt like he couldnt say that because no one would believe him due to his reputation which just....reeks of real life parallels that i dont think the writers meant to stumble upon but sure did.

now onto bohn and mind.

khai and bohn being playboys is portrayed so very differently, which i think is why i'm a little more upset with duen than i am with third in this situation.

where the first like five episodes of tol took time to set khai up as a serious playboy, its only mentioned with bohn. bohn meets duen within the first handful of minutes if my eningeer and the rest is history. the closest we get to onscreen playboy behavior is *gasp* bohn going to a birthday party for a girl he doesnt particularly like but is willing to go along with to the point of buying her a present, holding her cake, and dragging his friends to an awkward and bad party. she is never seen nor mentioned again after leaving (lmao dont worry tho she is set up as a slut so u dont have to feel bad for her! haha love that thanks bl writers).

the rest of the episodes sets it up to show that bohn shows affection through acts of service and physical affection. he is awful at communication and will do bad things to get attention (bc he was a lonely rich kid who only got attention by doing these things i'm sure) from duen bc to bohn it seems like duen wont give him the time of day most of the time. duen rejects his primary love language (physical affection) but occasionally accepts his secondary (acts of service) (bohn giving him space to study, hunting down that specific book for him, doing those dumbass tasks that duen's friends came up with).

cut to the planting trip. so far, the series has set it up as bohn being as open as he is able to be about his feelings when both his ways of expressing himself are commonly rejected and/or misunderstood by duen. he's tried to have a couple real conversations but has been dismissed or ignored (which i'm sure duen didn't mean to do on purpose but also i am on bohn's side bc nobody else is and i seriously need his friends to step up!!!). he feels insecure in the relationship and like duen does not even like him, let alone care enough to be jealous.

we have also set up the fact that if someone comes onto bohn, duen will be upset with him. when mind is first introduced, its him cornering bohn in a bathroom and aggressively pressuring him into going out with him. bohn rejects him (not nearly as politely and distantly as khai has interacted with girls post-getting with third) but is still blamed by duen when "caught". this is used as a set up for why duen doesnt trust bohn, duen using the rumors of bohn's playboy lifestyle to explain to himself why bohn is bad news (nevermind that the only proof he has is his friends telling him rumors and the one bday party where bohn is bored and obviously more interested in fucking around with duen than anything or anyone else).

and then bohn is sexually assaulted in the woods. which he is only alone in becaus he was cooling down from a fight with duen. he feels insecure and disrespected and unheard, and then he gets stalked by a man who he knows doesnt respect boundaries and spooked (and i'm sure is disappointed it's not duen that came to find him). mind disrespects duen, which is what makes bohn really mad imo, and then forces a kiss on him. bohn has to struggle to push him off, and then only manages to get mind to leave him alone by threatening to hit him. (notice that he did not actually hit him, which would have been a valid and understandable response? bc bohn isnt really as tough as he appears i think).

bohn's first thought is not "i have just been assaulted, i would like support in this processing time." its "if i tell my boyfriend i was kissed, even tho it was against my will, he will be angry at me. i dont want him to be angry at me."

again, he does not even think duen likes him. duen doesnt show it at all in ways bohn can understand (i think duen's love language is gift giving but if bohn told him to give him the gifts i dont think bohn really understands that). he is already insecure in his relationship and he doesnt want to tell duen someone else came up and forced a kiss on him bc he is scared duen will blame him for it and be angry.

unfortunately?? he is right. while i really appreciated king's advice on not lying, i really wish it had been more along the lines of "you should tell duen what happened so he can support you alongside us, your friends. and if he does not support you, thats fucked up of him and we will support you even more."

i cant blame bohn for not telling duen. a) he is scared he will be blamed. b) if someone cornered me in the woods and kissed me against my will i'd be fucked up about it too! i also might want to keep it a secret! c) he may be feeling embarrassed and ashamed. he is a grown man who was just kissed by someone else and he couldnt stop it from happening. we already known bohn feels insecure in his manhood (he is insecure in a lot :( ) and i'm sure this wasnt like. the most stellar feeling in the world! he needed some time to process!!

the point is, bohn goes to tell duen what happened. and he doesnt even get to? he gets told that duen saw it (and i guess we can pretend that it didnt look like a full on fight if that's what duen wants to think bc of his own insecurities) and then gets dumped. so from bohn's pov he was like. assaulted in the woods, violently shoved his attacker away, and then finds out his boyfriend saw it and........didnt come to help?? pretended he didnt see it and talked to bohn normally when he found him??? literally tested him and then got upset about his lying??? didnt check in with bohn at all to see if he was okay?

and then in the end when they make up, its again bohn going through a task (this time hunting duen down at night in the woods) to apologize to duen instead of the other way around? bohn was not lying to duen bc he did something wrong and wanted to hide it. he was lying to duen bc he a) needed time to process what happened b) was scared of exactly what happened happening and c) didnt even think duen would care about him enough to be jealous.

this got so long and i'm so sorry to anyone who decided to read this whole thing oh man. i guess my final thoughts are that the reason i'm still dissatisfied with where bohnduen ended up this season is because i feel like bohn and khai were blamed for something that was in no way actually their faults. neither of them invited people they werent interested in to kiss him. neither of them deserved to be blamed for it. yes, it was just a kiss and some may feel like i'm overreacted but to me it isnt just a kiss. its that both of them were essentially sexually assaulted and neither felt like they would be believed if they said that they werent at fault (khai actually believed he was and i'd bet bohn thinks he should have been more careful too).

it just makes me sad bc i know it was never be addressed, it was used as a way to break trust for both couples but? it only highlighted that third and duen werent willing to trust, not that bohn and khai were actually untrustworthy in this regard!