#'how are the meds working' oh idk bc my cat is dead and now i want to die even more. yk. the usual :))

[umiwomitai]

feeling like doing smth so fucking stupid

[fencesandfrogs]

some thoughts on dovewing and hollyleaf

so i was like 1k words into my au for dovewing where she’s cloudtail and brightheart’s daughter and it was really good and then i lost it because tumblr doesn’t understand the concept of “are you sure you want to navigate away from this page?” and i can’t tell you how sad that makes me but i’m not going to despair, because i think the world needs this.

[1.5k words. 5 minute read. wall of text.]

right. so. basically. dovewing is going to be born to cloudtail and brightheart. i have Thoguhts on what other things could be changed in po3 but this isn’t about that.

also ivykit is red now sorry i don’t make the rules. (brightheart OR dovewing are now tortie to compensate for the change in genetics, not that warriors cars about that, but i do. cloudtail inherits brown from his mother and ??? from his father because i haven’t traced all of their litters, but i don’t see why dovekit couldn’t be grey.)

so cinderheart gets dovepaw because dovepaw is anxiety child. lionblaze gets ivypaw because that’s going to be a drama engine when he’s obsessed with her sister(’s mentor, but ivypaw doesn’t know that, also later it is dovepaw bc propehcy)

cloudtail and brightheart and cinderheart work out some Sensory Blocking skills. beavers happens. dovepaw, who spent most of her time as dovekit hiding in big fluffy father’s fur because Sensory, takes one look at big and fluffy and kind tigerheart and says: yes, he is safe. i will be his friend.

(i’m a fan of tigerheart and dovewing don’t @ me, they are the cutest, and after everything bramble and squirrel put me through, i deserve some pure kind love.)

anyway lionblaze figures out dove is 3rd cat, jayfeather is like “oh sick my sister’s back” dovepaw is anxiety child, everything is fine.

nothing happens in omen of the stars i stg

tigerheart and dovepaw continue to meet up. ivypaw goes from “sister worshipped i am unloved” to “sister fragile. must protect. (also i am unloved)” bc skirmish on border patrol and dovepaw just...can’t.

everyone is kind of wondering if dovepaw should maybe be med cat? i mean she has a good ear for prey, but she can’t really catch it, and, like, she’s weird.

she’ll mention snippets of information she shouldn’t know. she knows what you were coming to talk to her about before you get there. she’s never surprised, by, like, anything far away, but she barely notices if you sneak up on her.

something is not right about her.

but dove doesn’t really want that (reminder: tigerheart and her are still flirting-friends. he’s aware that she’s got some kind of, well, problem seems cruel, but what else should he call it?, and wants to help her, but has no idea what to do), and so cinderheart is like “well. we can do this. we can.”

idk filler stuff. ivypaw finds out about dovepaw and tigerheart. like, she knew something was up, but she gets explicit confirmation. ivy gets very protective of dovepaw, dovepaw is like ‘ur not my mentor’ ivypaw sees tigerheart in the dark forest, and she goes all

bluefur being like “snowfur ur bf has rabies” in bluestar’s prophecy

and it goes about as well now as it did then (altho tbf dovepaw is more close to being in the right than snowfur was.)

ivypaw and dovepaw now aren’t speaking. cinderheart is trying to get some space from lionblaze because dovepaw is anxiety child, training with ivypaw isn’t helping, and lionblaze needs to focus on ivy dammit.

anyway yeah in this ivypaw, after dovepaw’s initial success hunting, quickly surpasses her sister, and continues training in the dark forest because must protecc also need affection

(ivypaw is very pro dovepaw be a medicine cat. the fact that it keeps her away from tigerheart is a major bonus.)

cinderheart doesn’t know what to do. finally someone is like “hey what if we go to the tribe.” because the tribe deserves to fix clan problems for once.

the tribe is like “yeah the world sure is a big place with a lot to look at. that’s why only half of us look.” (i know that’s not exactly how cave guard’s work but close enough.)

cinderheart is like “hm. what if, dovepaw, just a thought, what if you just, you know, avoid battles? i know it’s part of clan life but judging by the two souls crammed into my body, i’d say there’s been very few major conflicts over this and, reasonably, you should be able to avoid being chosen for battle control.”

dovepaw says, “but cinderheart, i’m a main character! unless i’m being punished or taught a lesson about duty, i’ll be automatically registered for every battle patrol until i die!”

cindheart says, “you’re right, i’m so sorry. hey ivypaw, [whoops yeah ivy and lion are here too sorry i forgot to mention that] what if you two learn to work as a team.”

dovepaw says, “i don’t want to work with her.”

ivypaw says, “that’s a great idea.”

because dovepaw talks very quietly (she forgets not everyone can hear as well as her), ivypaw wins.

they work out their issues, return to the clans after quite some time.

(this also gives dovepaw a good memory for a long time in the future when shadowkit is born. i don’t actually know when that happens because i just finished tigerheart’s shadow and it’s not there, but i’ll find it eventually)

anyway dovepaw and ivypaw haven’t settled their differences, but they have a peace treaty. no one is sure how to integrate the team style in most effectively, but with her senses dampened from the tribe, dovepaw gets a bit better at hunting.

she’s also now 200% anxiety, meaning she’s basically vibrating all the time, but at least she’s learning. and she’s got the technical skills, too, she just couldn’t focus on applying them.

so dovepaw gets to really earn her success.

alright they become warriors, the battle is approaching.

this is like at least 3 books worth of content when you consider that jayfeather and hollyleaf are alive and hollyleaf is kind of, either dead or alive, tunnels or not, on top of shit in this universe. she knows shit gon go down. she’s going to be ready.

anyway right so dovewing and ivypool. that’s pretty much it except dovewing is more useful during the final battle. i’m not sure how i just know she is.

alright now i’m very tired and wanted to be done half an hour ago but here’s most of an au for you.

i came back like ten minutes later to add: the later three books would focus more on ivypool, hollyleaf, and jayfeather. dovewing is off in the background flirting with tigerheart. she and lionblaze have like one and a half brain cells between them. ivy holly and jay are the brains of the operation, and everyone knows it.

so they’re making plans and preparing and dealing with trust issues and lionblaze is like “what if? cinderheart. who is the best cat. what if she and i. had children. would they be. the best cat. squared?”

and dovewing, thinking of tigerheart, is like “no you idiot bestness is additive. that’s why my kits with tigerheart would be at least two times better than any other kits.”

*to be clear, kits are here the figurative marker of a relationship since warrior cats don’t have marriage. dovewing is basically like the fifteen year old doodling her name with tigerheart. she’s not serious about having children with him (yet), but it makes a tangible concept to picture their relationship in.

and meanwhile ivy is like “so if xyz is a taitor, that means i have to win over birchfall to make sure our numbers are evenly matched,”

(dovewing. i lovewing the dovewing, but she’s, well, not that smart.)

so yeah i think book protags would go:

dovepaw (i’d like to save her for later but unfortunately i think we need her deep characterization to provide context for her and tigerheart and sensory overload), ivypaw secondary

lionblaze, hollyleaf secondary (this is kind of a filler book while hollyleaf is set up as not a permanent resident of background character hell so lionblaze is just interpersonal drama moving the plot forward and filling in propechy info)

cinderheart, lionblaze secondary (i want them to be sorted faster, and dovewing’s second book needs to be later for tigerheart drama)

hollyleaf, jayfeather secondary (transitional book in focus, sharp narration turn because i have this working as 2 3 book arcs with a weaker overall arc, and since this is about dovewing i focused mostly on the first)

jayfeather, cinderheart secondary (dove+ivy need to close the arc together, also, cinderheart is like a central character to everyone else here, so she can sustain a whole lot of b plots)

ivypool, dovewing secondary (sisters, also, in this ivypool is far more important in the battle tha dovewing is. i mean sure dovewing is doing something, but the whole success of the battle hinges on ivypool, and everyone knows it.)

*in case I post more about it this au is tagged cloudtail's daughter. I already found calico dovewing that's gorgeous.

[voightsgirl]

tag game!

tagged by @chloeswans thank you my love 💛💛

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people (sorry i don’t have that many friends rip)

I tag: @writteninthestarsandthesky @chillmydude @riverdaleangels @sophiaxjesse @halsteadpd @e11evenseggos @caffeinatedkafreen @erinllindsays and yo anyone else if you see this and wanna join in i tag you

last

1. drink - water

2. phone call - my friend we were working on an english presentation

3. text message - i texted my friend to arrange to meet her for lunch earlier today

4. song you listened to - currently listening to waterloo by abba because i am cOoL

5. time you cried - had a total meltdown on thursday rip it’s been a really tough week

6. dated someone twice - lOl i’ve barely dated someone once

7. kissed someone & regretted it - nope

8. been cheated on - i mean,,,,,,,..,,,,,,,,,.........not exactly

9. lost someone special - yes

10. been depressed - yes

11. gotten drunk & thrown up - nope

fave colours

12. red

13. yellow

14. black

the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes and i am so grateful for them 💛

16. fallen out of love - with a friend aye

17. laughed until you cried - oh my days too many times (usually in english class, which freaks out my teacher)

18. found out someone was talking about you - lol remember that time i overheard people proper biTCHING about me and i was like...........?? (it was lowkey funny tho because i am a NICE person and people know that and they came and apologised lul)

19. met someone who changed you - yes, actually in the last year i’ve met a few people who have had such a massive impact on me it’s unreal

20. found out who your friends are - omg too much

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - hA no

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in irl - all of them

23. do you have any pets - two cats sparky and olive and a doggo called lizzie

24. do you want to change your name - no although i am slowly implementing the nickname meg as opposed to megan bc it’s shorter and i like it

25. what did you do for your last birthday - uh idk i don’t remember,,,,,,,,,? it was easter sunday i’m p sure (or maybe that was the year before) idk i probably went to a movie or soemthing? maybe? i literally have no recollection of my last birthday is that bad

26. what time did you wake up today - 9:30

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - lying in bed trying to sleep (rip i actually need to sort my shit out i’ve been running on about 3-4 hours of sleep every day and i can’t deal)

28. what is something you can’t wait for - i’m going to austria tomorrow to ski and i am SO EXCITED even though i have to leave home at 5am

29. what are you listening to right now - there she goes by the las because bOP

30. have you ever talked to a person named tom - my history teacher is called tom does that count??? oh wait no yes i know loads of toms

31. something that’s getting on your nerves - the fact that i have to write an entire fuckin 5000 word dissertation by next week but i am so crazy busy and i am never ever gonna get it done

32. most visited website - no joke either thesaurus.com or wordreference (a level english and french be like)

33. hair colour - brown

34. long or short hair - shoulder length

35. do you have a crush on someone - literally so many people tho

36. what do you like about yourself - i was gonna say that i always put 100% into everything but then i realised that i literally hate that about myself because it means i am exhausted all of the damn time so i’m gonna say i’m good at giving people emotional support. like i’m not great at giving people solutions to problems but if they want a shoulder i’m good at just being there

37. want any pericings? - i really want a nose stud but i have a tiny ass nose and idk if i could pull it off rip

38. blood type - no clue 

39. nicknames - meg

40. relationship status - single pringle

41. zodiac - aries

42. pronouns - she/her

43. fave tv shows - chicago fire/pd/med, castle, one tree hill, gilmore girls, brooklyn 99, line of duty, absentia, how to get away with murder, probably more that i can’t think of rn

44. tattoos - i want a cross on my inner wrist and also a bible verse (either philippians 4:13 or romans 8:1 i’m not sure yet). also maybe some flowers i love flowers

45. right or left handed - right

46. ever had surgery - nope

47. piercings - just ear lobes

48. sport - i go to the gym a lot i like doing push ups and trx and spin and that kind of thing but i suck at team games

49. vacation - where i’ve been? gah idk lets see.....france, spain, italy, switzerland, germany, portugal, netherlands, all the countries in the uk, sweden, denmark, hong kong, usa, australia, turks & caicos islands.....going to austria tomorrow and hungary in the summer (and hk again to visit family!!) and i would love love love to go to india and lebanon and canada and iceland and norway

50. trainers - what ones i have?? currently mine are chewed up messes by my pup soooo none??

more general

51. eating - i just had a weird leftover meal of rice and couscous and curry sauce and beef stew rip to clear the cupboards before tomorrow

52. drinking - fizzy water

53. I’m about to watch - nothin i need to get to bed its 10pm but i need sleep

54. waiting for - myself to get my shit together and sort out my head

55. want - to get my shit together

56. get married - yeah one day 

57. career - i want to be an english teacher yeet

which is better

58. hugs or kisses - hugs

59. lips or eyes - eyes

60. shorter or taller - i mean if anyone is shorter than me they’re quite substantially below average so imma go taller

61. older or younger - don’t care aha

62. nice arms or stomach - arms

63. hookup or relationship - uh at the moment? i don’t even think about that kind of thing because dude i don’t even have time to breathe or think about myself soooo imma pass on this question cause i honestly don’t know

64. troublemaker or hesitant - both

have you ever

65. kissed a stranger - no

66. drank hard liquor - of course

67. lost glasses - sunglasses yes but i guard my prescriptions with my life

68. turned someone down - yes

69. sex on the first date - nope

70. broken someones’s heart - i’m not sure??? i mean i broke up with someone but like,,,,,,,they deserved it?

71. had your heart broken - i don’t know i mean i’m a fuckin mess but not because of boys

72. been arrested - no thank the lord

73. cried when someone died - see imma sound like a dick when i say no but honestly i’ve lost quite a few people who were close to me and i couldn’t cry for a good few months, even years, later (i am an expert at denial and repression apparently) so yes but not in the way you’d think

74. fallen for a friend - yes

do you believe in

75. yourself - hA

76. miracles - yeah

77. love at first sight - no

78. santa claus - haha no

79. kiss on a first date - yes

80. angles - oh yes i believe in those good old obtuse and acute angles (i assume this meant angels which, yes, i believe in)

other

81. best friend’s name - jenna

82. eye colour - blue

83. fave movie - ooOooOooOh idk probably dead poets society because that’s a masterpiece but i honestly am not a very movies person

84. fave actor - sophia bush 💛