#'sauce. for the goose--mister saavik.'

[el-im]

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982) dir. Nicholas Meyer

- Spock, these cadets of yours... how good are they? How will they respond under real pressure? - As with all living things, each according to his gifts.

[thegeminisage]

WRATH OF KHAN breakdown

i watched this movie with catherine maulthots six days ago and liveblogged it incoherently on a notepad file on my phone because No Way was i opening this devils website when spock could die any moment. i am recording my experiences here for posterity

firstly i did know going in that he was going to die. this made me wracked with anxiety. more on that later. actually when kirk walked up and was like ha ha arent you supposed to be dead i almost lost it .5 seconds into the movie

absolute first thing was that we werent sure whether or not the thing in the beginning was a test. absolutely LOST MY MIND when i realized it was the kobayashi maru. every ten seconds during this movie i went "omg an aos reference" even though i knew it was really the other way around. somehow i thought mister perfect tos jim wouldn't cheat on the test so when they sort of hinted at what he did but didn't say it i was FROTHING to know more

bones's gay little posture. that's it that's the whole bullet

bones coming to jim's place at night was like the opening of some retro gay porno. DELIGHTED to find out that jim's allergies were not in fact an aos fanon but based in both aos and tos canon (re his little old man glasses)

mad that all of the movies seem to flirt with whether or not james t kirk should retire or captain a starship and then never resolve that question ever. it's like will shatner's insecurity about aging was leeching into the very script. girl we ALL KNOW what he should be doing so either shit or get off the pot

birthday gifts cute though. oh my fucking god. a book and glasses and he shows up with both repeatedly throughout the film

khan's tits were amazing. even as an asexual, even queer as a two dollar bill, i am full of admiration for what he had going on. he was rockin it

when they put the little worms into chekov and terrel cathy was like "omg THATS why they called them khan worms" and then i got to say "omg spn reference" instead of "omg aos reference" and we were so excited she wasn't even mad about it. also, they were so gross, oh my god, i couldn't look, she had to tell me when it was safe to unhide my eyes

meanwhile we're also mercilessly mocking the oversight that allowed khan and chekov to know one another. how did that plothole make it into production

EYE personally was very shocked at the amount of non-annoying women in the movie (two??). i liked both saavik and carol though i had to google to see if saavik was a human or vulcan. VERY cute that spock gave her the wheel to fuck with kirk specifically even though anyone but kirk being captain is so WEIRD. spock can be acting captain but not actual captain!!!

i ALSO knew from spoilers that carol had had kirk's fucking child which i may have accidentally also ruined for catherine so when a woman with an adult son mentioned james kirk onscreen we both became a little. unwell.

khan's "i shall have him" this sort of sexual tension is one of many things missing from into darkness. NOT that i want to see b*nedict c*mberbatch have that with anyone bc he is quite literally so ugly i have to cover his face with my hand when i watch into darkness but they should have cast a better person as khan and then made him have sexual tension with kirk.

cathy on the khan worms coming out of chekov's ears: wow, i love that! me on the same thing: i hate it

khan's "i wish to go on hurting you" no comment

khan yell REALLY GOOD. glad to see some things never change. william shatner was like i have been and will ever be a huge fucking ham

when carol marcus went "can i cook or can't i" i decided to go ahead and start liking women again. nature is healing, etc

if i had seen kirk pop that apple in his mouth while talking about how he didn't like to lose before i wrote gambler's knife. well. the fic probably wouldn't have changed much but my brain chemistry has certainly changed now. i can't explain w human words. AAAAAAUGH

spock's line about "sauce for the goose" was so out of character we had to check the transcript and make sure that was him speaking and not kirk. "sauce for the goose"??? sir, you're a vegetarian

the cgi was surprisingly good in whatever version we watched. it really holds up, which is ironic considering we had 20-minute vistas of it in the previous movie, where it was just okay

spock's death. i cried all the way through. don't text.

i did have a vague idea of what was going on when he melded with bones bc you literally cant avoid spoilers but i didn't have Details so i was very shocked for a second until i remembered

SPOCK'S FUNERAL. oh he would have been insulted to hear jim call him human!!!!! but he WAS

kirk trying to run away from his kid was really good. if i hadn't been blinded with tears i would have really enjoyed it. didn't like the "you've never faced death" bit though bc OBVIOUSLYYY he was on tarsus iv.

anyway then they panned to the coffin and i was like SURELY HES GONNA POP OUT AND SAY SIKE but he didn't. he didn't and i just had to live with that. and we had planned to watch search for spock immediately the next day but fate intervened and i had to skip it TWO DAYS in a row and nearly died. the end.

also, i didn't realize the book spock had given kirk was the one he quoted at the end!!!!!!! really horrible.