#'we evolved social bonds to benefit ourselves' so you agree?

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

zany to me how these um actually nihilists like to pretend that "um actually love/friendship/cooperation/kindness isn't real bc we evolved that way to benefit ourselves as a species..." um YES? that's also where tool use comes from? that's where cooking comes from? am i supposed to think social bonds & tool use & cooking aren't "real" because they evolved over time instead of appearing fully formed from the ether?

sorry u can't enjoy things. im a superior being twirling a fork in my bowl of delicious noodles whilst staring in adoration at the world

[farmingthefuture]

A Call for Living Infrastructure - Martina Huynh

Mycorrhizal networks are mutually beneficial symbioses between plant roots and certain types of fungi - forming a beautifully complex infrastructure (for communication and the exchange of nutrients) that is alive, able to evolve and adapt to its environment.

Can we merge parts of our inanimate cable infrastructure with existing mycorrhizal networks to form a new symbiosis - to turn our infrastructure into a living organism that can grow, evolve and maintain itself? Can we integrate our technologies better with the natural landscape?

Instead of keeping ourselves busy with old modernist utopias like 'smart cities', can we envision different modalities of living together with our surrounding ecologies?

Imagine if we were to work closely together with a different species. Link our information network and with theirs, exchange goods and services to mutual benefit? This kind of system exists. Just not currently between us and another species, but between plants and mushrooms. 

Some types of fungi form mycelium. They are little hair-like tubes that branch out in search of food, creating a network-like structure. You could compare them to roots. Some types of mycelium form a bond with plant roots, where they extend the plant's reach for nutrients. And because plants are better at producing carbon from photosynthesis and mycelium is better at getting phosphorus and other minerals from the soil, they trade. This symbiotic association is referred to as mycorrhiza. Mycorrhizae can connect entire forests creating a complex social network. Research has shown that trees are able to communicate with each other by sending i.e. warning signals through the fungal highway underground, encouraging other trees to brace themselves with the production of defense chemicals. Mycorrhizal networks also facilitate the exchange of nutrients between individual trees. Sometimes a nutrient-rich and healthy tree might donate some of its nutrients to a neighbouring nutrient-poorer tree through their mycorrhizal network connection. This is a beautifully dynamic infrastructure that exists already below the ground. It is alive, able to evolve and adapt to its environment. How does our network infrastructure look like? For electricity and internet we have cables. We dig out some ground every time we place or replace them. But these cables still remain an isolated piece of human technology that have no relation to its surroundings. When we do this we tend to work against rather than with the landscape. We wrap the wires in layers and layers of isolation to shield them from what's around, be it soil or water. If only our cables were able to relate to and tap into the abundant systems they are embedded in, we could have a biologically augmented type of network! Therefore I propose that we merge our both systems and let these mycorrhizal networks teach us. To form a new partnership by joining our human cable network with mycelium networks. Just imagine if our infrastructure were actually a living organism that can grow, evolve and maintain itself ! A common notion is that technology and nature lie on two opposite sides. Can we not break this binary view on technology versus nature ? Especially with the current technologies at hand and the rise of synthetic biology we may see the combination of machines and engineered life to become 'living machines' - that will be able to integrate much better with the environment than any other of our inanimate technologies. And we must be careful not to treat them like 'machines' that we simply use, but to see them as partners to work with. What we should aim for is a kind of interspecific collaboration. Because placing ourselves on equal level as other species, is where I see a new way forward, a mindset / an attitude that is fit for an era after and past the human-centric mindset that helped shape the anthropocene. But the current vision of the future is not one about interspecific collaborations, but looks much more like this: the smart city. Where everything is tailored to man and nature only invited in when its elements are 100% under control - when it can’t be itself anymore. Isn't the point of 'smart' to create something that works well on its own? Wouldn't it make sense to collaborate with a system that is alive and already autonomous? Instead of focusing on 'smart' we could be striving for living infrastructure! How can this to be achieved? First, we need the willingness - as humans - to understand the fungus. For me it all started out with a few very small experiments, where I was trying to get to know the mycelium better, as a material but also as a living organism. I found that mycelium is conductive and can even generate small amounts of electricity. It can transmit simple data streams when connected to the arduino. Other experiments include me trying to grow mycelium under low current to see whether it minds. Or growing mycelium in heavy-metal contaminated soil, hoping it would take up some copper and zinc and increase in conductivity. My dialogue with the fungus was limited to me doing something to it and seeing how it would react. But if we want to work together, we need to find better ways to communicate with fungi. We need to invent devices able to interpret the bioelectric and biochemical signals in the mycelium. By finding a common ground we will be able to listen in to what it is that the fungi wants and what we can do to serve its needs. Instead of forcing it do anything we'll probably need to entice the mycelium to grow where we want it to grow. And care for its surroundings - to create favourable conditions - if we want it to grow well. We need to be open for its input and make compromises. Adapt our tech, by lowering their voltage level. If our devices can become faster and smaller every year, they can also be made to run on lower voltage, like usb connections, arduinos and smartphones already do. At the same time we'll want to select and breed a mycelium for desirable network properties. By enhancing it with our technologies, we will help it to spread and become a very successful species. Mycelium can be bred to do many things, like it's currently being done for material properties at Utrecht University. It's possible to breed it for other properties as well. I think by being considerate with each other and working towards a common goal of building this infrastructure, we can explore and approach this new interspecies relation step by step. And we can do this! I alone can't do this, as a bachelor design student I can but make a humble start. We need people who have the specific knowledge and the means to do this. We need scientists, philosophers, educators, critical voices and investors - to engage in and think more about such interspecific partnerships. Instead of keeping ourselves busy with old modernist utopias like the smart city, can we move on to different modalities of living together with our surrounding ecologies? It will become evident how we are supported by living systems, and how we as part of this, also have our responsibilities and duties. Will large corporations treat the environment differently if their infrastructure depended on nature so directly? To view natural systems on a more equal level requires us to give up some control to leave unexpected things to happen. To let the system evolve naturally with us. Not just for a sustainable, but also a resilient infrastructure. I know this may not be implementable in exactly this way, because my vision is a still phrased by a human. At times the mycelium will not agree with us. And we’ll have to follow ITS path instead. And that's fine. Perhaps what I am proposing is not implementable on this scale. But before we dismiss this idea as too ambitious, I would first need to see enough effort invested in trying! I can promise that just the pursuit of this direction of thought will be a worthwhile journey to take on. Because learning how to work together with fungi is a first step to define a new more symbiotic relation between man - technology and nature.

http://martinahuynh.com/living_infrastructure.html

[randomguywholikesstuff]

Quotes From: Jonathan Haidt. “The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom”[2]

Reprocity

“Reciprocity is a deep instinct; it is the basic currency of social life...

For all the nonhuman ultrasoeial species, that feature was the genetics of kin altruism....

Here's where the ancestors of bees, termites, and mole rats took the common mechanism of kin altruism, which makes many species sociable, and parlayed it6 into the foundation of their u nco m m o n ultrasociality: They are all siblings. T h o s e species each evolved a reproduction system in which a single queen produces all the children, and nearly all the children are either sterile (ants) or else their reproductive abilities are suppressed (bees, mole rats); therefore, a hive, nest, or colony of these animals is one big family...

We h u m a n s also try to extend the reach of kin altruism by using fictitious kinship n a m e s for nonrelatives, as when children are encouraged to call their parents' friends Uncle Bob and Aunt Sarah”

“The human mind finds kinship deeply appealing, and kin altruism surely underlies the cultural ubiquity of nepotism”

“In his insightful book Influence, Robert Cialdinj of Arizona S t a t e University cites this a n d other s t u d i e s as e v i d e n c e that p e o p l e h a v e a mindless, automatic reciprocity reflex. Like other animals, we will p e r f o r m certain behaviors w h e n the world p r e s e n t s us with certain patterns of input...

ethological reflex: a p e r s o n receives a favor from an a c q u a i n t a n c e a n d wants to repay the favor...

“So what is really built into the person is a strategy: Play tit for tat. Do to others wha t they do unto you .”

“Like the Godfather, bats play tit for tat, and so do other social animals, particularly those that live in relatively small, stable groups where individuals can recognize each other as individuals.12”

“Vengeance and gratitude are moral sentiments that amplify and enforce tit' for tat. Vengeful and grateful feelings appear to have evolved precisely b e c a u s e they are such useful tools for helping individuals create cooperative relationships, thereby reaping the gains from non-zero-sum g a m e s . 1 3 A species equipped with vengeance and gratitude responses can support”

“larger and more cooperative social groups because the payoff to cheaters is reduced by the costs they bear in making enemies.Conversely, the benefits of generosity are increased because one gains friends.”

“the logarithm of the brain size is almost perfectly proportional to the logarithm of the social group size. In other words, all over the animal kingdom, brains grow to m a n a g e larger and larger groups. Social animals are smart animals”

Gossip 

“Language allows small groups of people to bond quickly and to learn from each other about the bonds of others..

in short, Dunbar proposes that language evolved because it enabled gossip. Individuals who could share social information, using any primitive means of communication, had an advantage over those who could not...

And once people began gossiping, there was a runaway competition to master the arts of social manipulation, relationship aggression, and reputation management, all of which require yet more brain power”

“Gossip elicits gossip, and it enables us to keep track of everyone's reputation without having to witness their good and bad deeds personally...

Gossip creates a non-zero-sum game because it costs us nothing to give each other information, yet we both benefit by receiving information...

In a world with no gossip, people would not get away with murder but they would get away with a trail of rude, selfish, and antisocial acts, often oblivious to their own violations. Gossip extends our moral—emotional toolkit. In a gos-sipy world, we don't just feel vengeance and gratitude toward those who hurt or help us; we feel pale but still instructive flashes of c o n t e m p t and anger toward people whom we might not even know. We feel vicarious s h a m e and embarrassment when we hear about people whose s c h e m e s , lusts, and private failings are exposed. G o s s i p is a policeman and a teacher.

Without it, there would be chaos and ignorance...

As long as everyone plays tit-for tat a u g m e n t e d by gratitude, vengeance, and gossip, the whole system should work beautifully. (It rarely does, however, because of our self-serving biases a n d massive hypocrisy.”

 Reprocity in Intimate Relaitonships

“Relationships are exquisitely sensitive to balance in their early stages, and a great way to ruin things is either to give too m u c h (you seem perhaps a bit desperate) or too little (you seem cold and rejecting). Rather, relationships grow best by balanced give and take, especially of gifts, favors, attention, and self-disclosure...

people often don't realize the degree to which the disclosure of personal information is a gambit in the d a t i n g game. W h e n s o m e o n e tells you about past romantic relationships, there is conversational pressure for you to do the same. If this disclosure card is played too early, you might feel ambivalence—your reciprocity reflex m a k e s you prepare your own matching disclosure but s o m e other part of you resists sharing intimate details with a near-stranger”

“humans are partially hive creatures, like bees, yet in the modern world we spend nearly all our time outside of the hive. Reciprocity, like love, reconnects us with others”

Hypocrisy

“There is a special pleasure in the irony of a moralist brought down for the very moral failings he has condemned. It's the pleasure of a well-told joke. With hypocrisy, the hypocrite's preaching is the setup, the hypocritical action is the punch line”

“Players f a c e a binary choice at each point: They can cooperate or defect. Each player then reacts to what the other player did in the previous round.

In real life, however, you don't react to what someone did; you react only to what you think she did, and the gap b e t w e e n action and p e r c e p t i o n is bridged by the art of impression management. If life itself is but what you deem it, then why not focus your efforts on persuading others to believe that you are a virtuous and trustworthy cooperator?”

“Niccolo Machiavelli”

“the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are...

People who reported being most concerned about caring for others and about issues of social responsibility were more likely to open the bag, but they were not more likely to give the other person the positive task. In other words, people who think they are particularly moral are in fact more likely to "do the right thing" and flip the coin but when the coin flip comes out against them, they find a way to ignore it and follow their own self-interest. Batson called this tendency to value the appearance of morality over the reality "moral hypocrisy”

“We are well-armed for battle in a Machiavellian world of reputation manipulation, and one of our most important weapons is the delusion that we are non-combatants. How do we get away with it?”

Confirmation Bias

“Studies of "motivated reasoning"13 show that people who are motivated to reach a particular conclusion are even worse reasoners than those in Kuhn's and Perkins's studies, but the mechanism is basically the s a m e : a one-sided search for supporting evidence only...

Over and over again, studies show that people set out on a cognitive mission to bring back reasons to support their preferred belief or action. And because we are usually successful in this mission, we end up with the illusion of objectivity. We really believe that our position is rationally and objectively justified...

“the rider—your c o n s c i o u s , reasoning self; a n d he is taking orders from the elephant—your automatic and u n c o n s c i o u s self. T h e two are in c a h o o t s to win at the g a m e of life by playing Machiavellian tit for tat, and both are in denial about it...

To win at this g a m e you m u s t present your best possible self to others.”

Self Comparisons

“W h e n comparing ourselves to others, the general process is this: F r a m e the question (unconsciously, automatically) so that the trait in q u e s t i o n is related to a self-perceived strength, then go out and look for e v i d e n c e that you have the strength...

In fact, evidence shows that people who hold pervasive positive illusions about themselves, their abilities, and their future prospects are mentally healthier, happier, and better liked than people who lack such illusions. But such biases can make people feel that they deserve more than they do, thereby setting the stage for endless disputes with other people who feel equally over-entitled....

Whenever people form cooperative groups, which are usually of mutual benefit, self-serving biases threaten to fill group m e m b e r s with mutual resentment.”

Naive Realism

“Pronin and Ross trace this resistance to a phenomenon they call "naive realism": Each of us thinks we see the world directly, as it really is. We further believe that the facts as we see them are there for all to see, therefore others should agree with us. If they don't agree, it follows either that they have not yet been exposed to the relevant facts or else that they are blinded by their interests and ideologies. People acknowledge that their own backgrounds have shaped their views, but such experiences are invariably seen as deepening one's insights; for example, being a doctor gives a person special insight into the problems of the health-care industry. But the background of other people is used to explain their biases and covert motivations;...

It just seems plain as day, to the naive realist, that everyone is influenced by ideology and self-interest”

“If I could nominate one candidate for "biggest obstacle to world p e a c e and social harmony," it would be naive realism because it is so easily ratcheted up from the individual to the group level: My group is right b e c a u s e we see things as they are. T h o s e who disagree are obviously biased by their religion, their ideology, or their self-interest. Naive realism gives us a world full of good and evil, and this brings us to the most disturbing implication of the sages' advice about hypocrisy: Good and evil do not exist outside of our beliefs about them.”

“The myth of pure evil is the ultimate self-serving bias, the ultimate form of naive realism. And it is the ultimate cause of most long-running cycles of violence because both sides use it to lock themselves into a Manichaean struggle”

“In another unsettling conclusion, Baumeister found that violence and cruelty have four main causes. The first two are obvious attributes of evil: greed/ambition (violence for direct personal gain, as in robbery) and sadism (pleasure in hurting people). But greed/ambition explains only a small portion of violence, and sadism explains almost none. Outside of children's car-toons and horror films, people almost never hurt others for the sheer joy of hurting someone. The two biggest causes of evil are two that we think are good, and that we try to encourage in our children: high self-esteem and moral idealism. Having high self-esteem doesn't directly cause violence, but when someone's high esteem is unrealistic or narcissistic, it is easily threatened by reality; in reaction to those threats, people—particularly young men—often lash out violently...

Threatened self-esteem accounts for a large portion of violence at the individual level, but to really get a mass atrocity going you need idealism—the belief that your violence is a means to a moral end. Idealism easily becomes dangerous because it brings with it, almost inevitably, the belief that the ends justify the means. But when a moral mission and legal rules are incompatible, we usually care more about the mission. They want the "good guys" freed by any means, and the "bad guys" convicted by any means...

The anthropologist Clifford Geertz wrote that "man is an animal suspended in webs of significance that he himself has spun”

Leveraging Repocity and Perception

“That is, the world we live in is not really one made of rocks, trees, and physical objects; it is a world of insults, opportunities, status symbols, betrayals, saints, and sinners. All of these are human creations which, though real in their own way, are not real in the way that rocks and trees are real. T h e s e human creations are like fairies in J. M. Barries Peter Pan: They exist only if you believe in t h e m .”

“Feeling Good, a popular guide to cognitive therapy, David Burns has written a chapter on cognitive therapy for anger...

Burns focuses on the should statements we carry around—ideas about how the world should work, and about how people should treat us...

Violations of these should statements are the major c a u s e s of anger and resentment...

Finding fault with yourself is also the key to overcoming the hypocrisy and judgmentalism that damage so many valuable relationships...

You can take a small piece of the disagreement and say, "I should not have done X, and I can see why you felt Y." Then, by the power of reciprocity, the other person will likely feel a strong urge to say, "Yes, I was really upset by X. But I guess I shouldn't have done P, so I can see why you felt Q . " Reciprocity amplified by self-serving biases drove you apart back when you were matching insults or hostile gestures, but you can turn the process around and use reciprocity to end a conflict and save a relationship”

“People win at the game of life by achieving high status and a good reputation, cultivating friendships, finding the best mate(s), accumulating resources, and rearing their children to be successful at the same game. People have many goals and therefore many sources of pleasure”

Positive Affect

“two types of positive affect. T h e first he calls "pre-goal attainment positive affect," which is the pleasurable feeling you get as you make progress toward a goal. T h e second is called "post-goal attainment positive affect," which Davidson says arises once you .have achieved something you want. In other words, when it comes to goal pursuit, it really is the journey that counts, not the destination. Set for yourself any goal you want. Most of the pleasure will be had along the way, with every step that takes you closer”

The Progress Principle

“the progress principle": Pleasure comes more from making progress toward goals than from achieving them...

We are bad at "affective forecasting" that is, predicting how we'll feel in the future. We grossly overestimate the intensity and the duration of our emotional reactions. T h e human mind is extraordinarily sensitive to changes in conditions, but not so sensitive to absolute levels”

Adaptation Principle

“This is the adaptation principle at work: People's judgments about their present state are based on whether it is better or worse than the state to which they have become accustomed...

Instead of following Buddhist and Stoic advice to surrender attachments and let events happen, we surround ourselves with goals, hopes, and expectations, and then feel pleasure and pain in relation to our progress”

“In every permanent situation, where there is no expectation of change, the mind of every man, in a longer or shorter time, returns to its natural and usual state of tranquility. In prosperity, after a certain time, it falls back to that state; in adversity, after a certain time, it rises up to it.”

Happiness and Marriage

“Happiness causes marriage. Happy people marry sooner and stay married longer than people with a lower happiness setpoint, both because they are more appealing as dating partners and because they are easier to live with as spouses. But much of the apparent benefit is a real and lasting benefit of dependable companionship, which is a basic need; we never fully adapt either to it or to its absence...

a string of objective advantages in power, status, freedom, health, and sunshine—all of which are subject to the adaptation principle”

“Happy people grow rich faster because, as in the marriage market, they are more appealing to others (such as bosses), and also b e c a u s e their frequent positive emotions help them to commit to projects, to work hard, and to invest in their futures”

“One of the most consistent lessons the ancient sages teach is to let go, stop striving, and choose a new path”

Happiness Formula 

“fundamentally different kinds of externals: the conditions of your life and the voluntary activities that you undertake”

“Conditions include facts about your life that you can't change (race, sex, age, disability) as well as things that you can (wealth, marital status, where you live). Conditions are constant over time, at least during a period in your life, and so they are the sorts of things that you are likely to adapt to.

Voluntary activities, on the other hand, are the things that you choose to do, such as meditation, exercise, learning a new skill, or taking a vacation. B e c a u s e s u c h activities must be chosen, and because most of them take effort and attention, they can't just disappear from your awareness the way conditions can.. Voluntary activities, therefore, offer m u c h greater promise for increasing happiness while avoiding adaptation effects”

“happiness formula: H = S + C + V”

“Th e level of happiness that you actually experience (H) is determined by your biological set point (S) plus the conditions of your life ( C ) plus the voluntary activities (V) you do.”

“Noise, especially noise that is variable or intermittent, interferes with concentration and increases stress.35 It's.worth striving to remove sources of noise in your life...

subjects who thought they had control were more persistent when working on difficult puzzles, but the subjects who had experienced noise without control gave up more easily.. 

changing an institution's environment to increase the sense of control among its workers, students, patients, or other users was one of the most effective possible ways to increase their sense of engagement, energy, and happiness...

freed from such a daily burden may lead to a lasting increase in self-confidence and well-being.”

Relationships Importance

“T h e condition that is usually said to trump all others in importance is the strength and number of a person's relationships. Good relationships make people happy, and happy people enjoy more and better relationships than unhappy people”

“conflicts in relationships is one of the surest ways to reduce your happiness. You never adapt to interpersonal conflict; it damages every day, even days when you don't see the other person but ruminate about the conflict nonetheless.”

Flow and Pleasure (fleeting) vs Gratification (fulfilling)

“It is the state of total immersion in a task that is challenging yet closely matched to one's abilities. T h e keys to flow: There's a clear challenge that fully engages your attention; you have the skills to meet the challenge; and you get immediate feedback about how you are doing at each step (the progress principle)...

In the flow experience, elephant and rider are in perfect harmony. T h e elephant (automatic processes) is doing most of the work, running smoothly through the forest, while the rider (conscious thought) is completely absorbed in looking out for problems and opportunities, helping wherever he can...

Seligman proposes a fundamental distinction between pleasures and gratifications. Pleasures are "delights that have clear sensory and strong emotional components, such as may be derived from food, sex, backrubs, and cool breezes. Gratifications are activities that engage you fully, draw on your strengths, and allow you to lose self-consciousness. Gratifications can lead to flow... Pleasures must be spaced to maintain their potency...

the elephant has a tendency to over-indulge, the rider needs to encourage it to get up and move on to another activity. Variety is the spice of life b e c a u s e it is the natural enemy of adaptation. The key to finding your own gratifications is to know your own strengths... and development of a catalog of strengths”

“You can increase your happiness if you use your strengths, particularly in the service of strengthening c o n n e c t i o n s — h e l p i n g friends, e x p r e s s i n g gratitude to benefactors...

Performing a random act of kindness every day could get tedious, but if you know your strengths a n d draw up a list of five activities that engage them, you can surely a d d at least o n e gratification to every day ...

choose your own gratifying activities, do them regularly (but not to the point of tedium), and raise your overall level of h a p p i n e s s”

“Evolution s e e m s to have m a d e us "strategically irrational" at times for our own good”

“another kind of irrationality: the vigor with which people pursue many goals that work against their o w n h a p p i n e s s.

Happiness and Consumerism

“Inconspicuous consumption, on the other hand, refers to goods and activities that are valued for themselves, that are usually consumed more privately, and that are not bought for the purpose of achieving status”

“experiences give more happiness in part b e c a u s e they have greater social value..

The elephant cares about prestige, not happiness, and it looks eternally to others to figure out what is prestigious...

The pursuit of luxury g o o d s is a happiness trap; it is a d e a d end that people race toward in the mistaken belief that it will make them h a p p y”

Paradox of Choice

" psychologist Barry Schwartz calls this the "paradox of choice"...

We value choice and put ourselves in situations of choice, even though choice often undercuts our happiness. But Schwartz and his colleagues find that the paradox mostly applies to people they call "maximizers"—those who habitually try to evaluate all the options, seek out more information, and make the best choice (or "maximize their utility," as economists would say)...

Maximizers end up making slightly better decisions than satisficers, on average (all that worry and information-gathering does help), but they are less happy with their decisions, and they are more inclined to depression and anxiety...

T h e point here is that maximizers engage in more social comparison, and are therefore more easily drawn into conspicuous consumption.”

“cybernetics—the study of how mechanical and biological systems can regulate themselves to achieve preset goals while the environment around and inside them changes.”

Attachment Theory and Childhood Development

“Attachment theory begins with the idea that two basic goals guide children's behavior: safety and exploration. A child who stays safe survives; a child who explores and plays develops the skills and intelligence needed for adult life...

If you want your children to grow up to be healthy and independent, you should hold them, hug them, cuddle them, and love them. Give them a secure base and they will explore and then conquer the world on their own...

he observed mothers at home and found that those who were warm and highly responsive to their children were most likely to have children who showed secure attachment in the strange situation. These children had learned that they could count on their mothers, and were therefore the most bold and confident. Mothers who were aloof and unresponsive were more likely to have avoidant children, who had learned not to expect much help and comfort from mom. Mothers whose responses were erratic and unpredictable were more likely to have resistant children, who had learned that their efforts to elicit comfort sometimes paid off, but sometimes not.

My skepticism is bolstered by the fact that studies done after Ainsworth's h o m e study have generally found only small correlations between mothers' responsiveness and the attachment style of their children.18”

No one event is particularly important, but over lime the child builds up what Bowlby called an "internal working m o d e l " of himself, his mother, and their relationship. If the model says that m o m is always there for you, you'll be bolder in your play and explorations. Round after round, predictable and reciprocal interactions build trust and strengthen the relationship

“fake one ancient attachment system, mix with an equal m e a s u r e of caregiving system, throw in a modified mating system and voila, that's romantic love”

Myth of True Love: Passionate vs Companionate Love

“As I see it, the modern myth of true love involves these beliefs: True love is passionate love that never fades; if you are in true love, you should marry that person; if love ends, you should leave that person because it was not true love; and if you can find the right person, you will have true love forever”

30 December 2016

“According to the love researchers Ellen Berscheid and Elaine Walster, passionate love is a "wildly emotional state in which tender and sexual feelings, elation and pain, anxiety and relief, altruism and jealousy coexist in a confusion of feelings.

“Berscheid and Walster define c o m p a n i o n a t e love, in contrast, as "the affection we feel for those with w h o m our lives are deeply intertwined.

“C o m p a n i o n a t e love grows slowly over the years as lovers apply their attachment and caregiving systems to each other, and as they begin to rely u p o n , care for, and trust e a c h other”

“If the m e t a p h o r for passionate love is fire, I he m e t a p h o r for c o m p a n i o n a t e love is vines growing, intertwining, a n d gradually binding two people together”

“At that point, tolerance has set in, and when the drug is withdrawn, the brain is unbalanced in the opposite direction: pain, lethargy, and despair follow withdrawal from cocaine or from passionate love.”

“So if passionate love is a drug—literally a drug—it has to wear off eventually. Nobody can stay high forever (although if you find passionate love in a long-distance relationship, it's like taking cocaine once a month; the drug can retain its potency because of your suffering between doses).”

“The Time Course of the Two Kinds of Love (Short Run) ding”

“True love, the love that undergirds strong marriages, is simply strong companionate love, with some added passion, between two people who are firmly committed to each other..

But if we change the time scale from six months to sixty years, as in the next figure, it is passionate love that seems trivial—a flash in the p a n”

“The Time Course of the Two Kinds of Love (Long Run”

“The Laws of Manu, an ancient Hindu treatise on how young Brahmin men should live, was even more negative about women: "It is the very nature of women to corrupt men here on earth.”

Philosophy of Love

“I have never seen anyone who loved virtue as much as sex.

For Plato, when human love resembles animal love, it is degrading. The love of a man for a woman, as it aims at procreation, is therefore a debased kind of love.”

“The essential nature of love as an attachment between two people is rejected; love can be dignified only when it is converted into an appreciation of beauty in general”

“Rather, Christian love has focused on two key words:- caritas and agape. Caritas (the origin of our word "charity") is a kind of intense benevolence and good will; agape is a Greek word that refers to a kind of selfless, spiritual love with no sexuality, no clinging to a particular other person

There are several reasons why real human love might make philosophers uncomfortable. First, passionate love is notorious for making people illogical and irrational, and Western philosophers have long thought that morality is grounded in rationality...

The extensive regulation of sex in many cultures, the attempt to link love to God and then to cut away the sex, is part of an elaborate defense against the gnawing fear of mortality”

Morality and Social ties

“The more weakened the groups to which [a man] belongs, the less he depends on them, the more he consequently depends only on himself and recognizes no other rules of conduct than what are founded on his private interests...

Having strong social relationships strengthens the immune system, extends life (more than does quitting smoking), speeds recovery from surgery, and reduces the risks of depression and anxiety disorders. It's not just that extroverts are naturally happier and healthier; when introverts are forced to be more outgoing, they usually enjoy it and find that it boosts their mood. Even people who think they don't want a lot of social contact still benefit from it.”

Freedom from Social Norms

“An ideology of extreme personal freedom can be dangerous b e c a u s e it encourages people to leave h o m e s , jobs, cities, and marriages in search of personal and professional fulfillment, thereby breaking the relationships that were probably their best hope for such fulfillment...

S e n e c a was right: " N o one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own utility...

We are an ultrasocial s p e c i e s , full of emotions finely tuned for loving, befriending, helping, sharing, and otherwise intertwining our lives with others. Attachments and relationships can bring us pain: As a character in Jean-Paul Sartre's play No Exit said, "Hell is other people."57 But so is heaven.”

The Adversity Hypothesis: Benefit from Adversity

“although traumas, crises, and tragedies c o m e in a thousand forms, people benefit from them in three primary ways..

rising to a challenge reveals your hidden abilities, and seeing these abilities changes your s e l f - c o n c e p t . N o n e of us knows what we are really capable of enduring...

h e second class of benefit concerns relationships. Adversity is a filter.

“When a person is diagnosed with cancer, or a couple loses a child, some friends and family members rise to the occasion and look for any way they can to express support or to be helpful. Others turn away, perhaps unsure of what to say or unable to overcome their own discomfort with the situation.

But adversity doesn't just separate the fair-weather friends from the true; it strengthens relationships and it opens people's hearts to one another. We often develop love for those we care for, and we usually feel love and gratitude toward those who cared for us in a time of need. ...

Trauma changes priorities and philosophies toward the present ("Live each day to the fullest") and toward other people...

T h e reality that people often wake up to is that life is a gift they have b e e n taking for granted, and that people matter m o r e than money...

The adversity hypothesis has a weak and a strong version. In the weak version, adversity can lead to growth, strength, joy, and self-improvement...

T h e weak version is well-supported by research, but it has few clear implications for how we should live our lives. The strong version of the hypothesis is m o r e unsettling: It states that people must endure adversity to grow, and that the highest levels of growth and development are only open to those who have laced and overcome great adversity. If the strong version of the hypothesis is valid, it has profound implications for how we should live our lives and structure our societies. It means that we should take more chances and suffer more defeats...

It means that we might be dangerously overprotecting our children, offering them lives of bland safety and too much counseling while depriving them of the "critical incidents" that would h e l p them to grow strong and to develop the most intense friendships. It m e a n s that heroic societies, which fear dishonor more than death, or societies that struggle together through war, might produce better human beings than can a world of peace and prosperity in which people's expectations rise so high that they sue each other for "emotional damages.”

[shenzhenblog]

The Content Moderation Imperative: How AI And Humans Will Make Social Media And Gaming Better For The World

Make content moderation good for business — and change the world

Q: We’ve become increasingly aware that user generated content on social platforms is open to all kinds of abuse. How do companies balance the benefits of engaging users on social platforms or in communities, with the risks decide where the boundaries are and keep as many users as possible engaged without over-stepping?

Brian: This whole idea is new. We’re still navigating what this looks like and what the best management practices are. We need to use the actions we’re seeing, like the violence live streamed on Facebook, cyberbullying, and toxic behavior, trolling and take steps to prevent those from happening and protect online communities from interacting with that kind of behavior. At the same time, we have to, as an industry, agree on what’s ok and what is not ok, clearly, and stand united.

Human interactions are complex and nuanced, so this isn’t an easy task. Generations are functioning on different standards. Stakeholder and shareholder pressure to monetize at all costs is pervasive. At the same time, there’s a huge disconnect between experts, parents, teachers and society as its evolving. This is creating new norms and behaviors that bring out the best and the worst in us on each platform. The challenge is that not all groups see things the same way or agree to or event see what’s dangerous or toxic at all. For some, they’re moving so fast between accelerating incidents and catastrophic events that it’s impossible to be empathetic for more than a minute because something else is around the corner. And leading platforms are either not reacting until something happens or they’re paying it lip service to the issues or they’re facilitating dangerous activity because it’s good for business.

Hate speech, abuse and violence should not be accepted as the price we pay to be on the internet. We’re bringing humanity back into the conversation. It’s why we’re here.

Q: In concrete terms, what are the risks that companies expose themselves to and the potential costs?

Brian: In a perfect world, this wouldn’t even be a discussion. Though it is a nuanced concept and constantly evolving, this kind of technology and practice is good for business. Brands and users shouldn’t participate or associate with platforms that have hate speech, abuse and illegal content. Yet, they do. With the very recent Facebook hearing and live streaming of violence, platforms are at an inflection point on how to manage their communities. What they do from here on out and also what they don’t do speaks volumes.

For example, Tumblr was removed from the App stores because there was child sexual abuse material (CSAM) on the platform. Last year they took steps to remove all pornography content and were then allowed back on the App stores. Being removed from the App store is a big hit and should be a huge deterrent. What does it say about our world when Apple is one of the only police forces protecting people online?

Companies should be proactive to implement this kind of protection in order to usurp toxic traffic with better quality users. That’s better for the online communities and it’s for long-term engagement.

Q: How do they best implement these boundaries? What is the best approach to content moderation?

Brian: Before implementing this kind of practice in your platform, you really need to identify and understand what kind of community you want to foster. Each platform has very unique behaviors and personality. For example, do you want a community like Medium; a positive and inviting community that embraces personal expression. Or would you want to be an 8chan; a toxic environment. It’s not an easy question to ask yourself, but it’s necessary. I think once you can establish your vision for the community you plan to build, you can then set very clear boundaries on what’s acceptable and what is not.

We know that technology and AI can only shoulder so much of the responsibility. A mix of both AI and human intelligence (HI) working together to be proactive in avoiding and removing unacceptable content is the best practice.

Q: What is the role of AI in meeting the challenges – and the corresponding role of human intelligence?

Brian: AI cannot do it all. It can do as much or as little to solve this problem. It comes down to the mandate and intended outcomes. I think it would put us at a disadvantage to believe that technology itself can fix this problem. This is a problem of human interaction and behavior, James Bond level villainy and intentionally unethical intent, an incredible absence of consequences, and emboldened behaviors as a result. So we need humans, AI and more to help fix it.

It’s a symbiotic relationship between AI and HI. Chris likes to describe AI as a toddler; it can identify things and inform you. It’s very good at that. AI is also much faster at processing and identifying sensitive material. But it’s still learning context and nuance.

That’s where humans come in. Humans can take the information from AI to make the tough calls, but in a more efficient way. We can let AI bear the responsibility of processing a lot of toxic material, then let humans come in when needed to make the final decision.

Q: Does our approach to content moderation need an overhaul? What does raising the bar mean to you?

Brian: We’re at a very interesting point in time. The internet creates insurmountable opportunity, mostly for good, but not always. As a society, we need to ask ourselves the tough questions. Are we really going to consent that this kind of behavior – CSAM (child pornography), extremism, livestreamed violence, cyberbullying, exploitation, psychological abuse and civil warfare, intentional misinformation campaigns. – is the cost of being online? It’s unacceptable. It’s unacceptable that we even have to have this conversation. I think the majority of people would agree. Users need to demand healthy online behavior. That’s the new cost of admission. Without the users, social platforms can’t exist.

It’s a human problem. Humans are using technology for evil, certainly. But we can also use technology as a solution. This kind of content moderation doesn’t hinder the ability to express, it protects our expression. It allows us to continue to post online, but with some reassurance that we’re in a welcoming environment.

Raising the bar means raising our standards. Demanding online communities foster healthy environments, protecting its users from toxic behavior and being unapologetic in doing so. And also raising our own standards as users. We need to understand the motivation behind our own behavior, and ask, “Why am I sharing this content? Why am I making this comment? Does this contribute to the greater good? Would I say this in real life? Why can’t I see that I am an asshole, a villain or as an active part of the problem.

We – as users and a society – need to demand a change from platforms – we have the power, we’re the ones using the platforms and feeding their ad revenue, so we have the power to influence their policies.

Q: And how will companies benefit – in concrete terms – from raising the bar?

Brian: This is good for business and it’s also what’s right. Platforms won’t have to fear losing advertisers or users because of harmful content and behavior. Brands and advertisers will look to platforms that have positive, lasting engagement.

We’re also at a point where doing the right thing is also good for business. Whether it’s CSR or #MutingRKelly, platforms are keenly aware of the reputation they build. Implementing this kind of technology and building a healthy community by doing so will help brands reputations, goals and bottom-lines.

Q: Forecasting ahead, where do you think we’ll be 1-2 years from now on this issue?

Brian: This conversation will and will not be very different if we do nothing about it now. We won’t be asking where we went wrong or what we could have done better. We’ll know. The technology is available, you can either use it or lose it. In the future, we’ll see that platforms are going to greater lengths to ensure healthy communities and protecting their users. We won’t be weighing the options of “should we use this technology” or “what is the cost/benefit analysis of adopting this practice?”

We’ll be very intentional about what platforms we use, what we post and why. All of us will have access to the best technology and established best practices for ourselves, our customers, our family, our friends and our society.

  Note : This article was originally published on www.briansolis.com

  Brian Solis

Brian Solis is a principal analyst at Altimeter, the digital analyst group at Prophet. He is also an award-winning author, prominent blogger/writer, and world renowned keynote speaker. A digital analyst, anthropologist, and futurist, Solis has studied and influenced the effects of emerging technology on business and society. His research and books help executives, and also everyday people, better understand the relationship between the evolution of technology and its impact on people and also the role we each play in evolution. As a result of his work, Solis also helps leading brands, celebrities, and startups develop new digital transformation, culture 2.0, and innovation strategies that enable businesses to adapt to new connected markets from the inside out.

The Content Moderation Imperative: How AI And Humans Will Make Social Media And Gaming Better For The World was originally published on Shenzhen Blog

[mrlongkgraves]

Networking keeps nurses from living on their own island

During my early days in nursing, a great mentor told me about the importance of networking and the role it could play in my career. I never forgot the advice, and later as a nurse leader I appreciated how sage it was.

Whether you’ve been in leadership for a long time or if you are just starting out, it’s important to understand and appreciate what networking is and what it can add to your professional growth and advancement.

It’s all about connections

In electronics, components and circuits are connected to form networks. In air travel, planes fly safely because control towers have networks. In communications, news is transmitted locally, nationally and globally via networks. Networks bring us together, and in nursing as well as other professions and businesses, they’re crucial.

Leaders create them, use them and benefit from them.

When we network with each other we connect to something larger than ourselves, something that’s more important and more powerful than we would be alone. Networks bridge, bond, strengthen and reinforce, and most of us like being part of them.

I’ve found the need to belong is a rather basic need among leaders. Most of us want to establish connections with other bright, powerful, savvy, involved professionals. We want to increase our knowledge and we know involvement in professional networks can help us do all that.

As we move from novice to expert in leadership, we grow in our appreciation of the power of networking. We learn more about the give and take of working together and how to be teacher as well as student.

We find that working with others and sharing thoughts, experiences or advice can lead to good things. We learn to navigate the twists and turns of our career paths, and find that our professional growth happens best in the company of our colleagues.

Becoming part of networks doesn’t just happen. We need to reach out, work at it and make those all-important contacts on our own.

Join in

Become part of things

Make calls

Accept invitations

Be the initiator

The lessons we learn we also should teach

Leaders can always grow their networking skills, but they also should teach its importance.

Talk with your staff about networking. If you have students in clinical rotations, tell them how quickly and positively networking can affect their careers. Tell them to look around at what’s going on in the hospital or medical center, and caution them not to limit their vision to their own units.

If you work in a large facility, encourage staff members to attend company-sponsored events. Let them know it’s a good way to expand their network of colleagues to include not only nurses, but also members of other healthcare professions.

Discuss the value of professional organization memberships and committee work. Emphasize how both are good ways to meet nurses who share the same goals and objectives. Tell them that while organizational memberships are great ways to network, cultivating relationships with nurses from other specialties and facilities also can be of great value.

Attending nursing conferences or events is a way to get out there and meet and greet. Organizations continually look for new members because memberships keep them going and allow them to offer large conferences, seminars and annual meetings. Encourage staff (or even make it a benefit or bonus) to attend and participate.

Most of all, advise your staff to start building networks early. From student days on, they can hone their networking skills via social media and email and by finding ways to meet colleagues in person.

Point out to them that as great as online connections can be, nothing beats in-person networking.

Networking should be an integral part our professional lives. Great leaders know this — and they teach others.

Take these CE modules, which offer more career-building tips:

Networking for Career Advancement (1 contact hr) Networking is one of the most important career-building tools available to any professional, including nurses. So whether a nurse is hunting for a job, seeking a promotion, running for office, starting a business, seeking consultative work, pursuing higher education, entering public service or writing for publication, networking is an effective sales and marketing strategy for building a positive power base to attain long- and short-term career goals. This educational activity will provide guidance on networking for career advancement.

Facebook: Know the Policy Before Posting (1 contact hr) The fundamental function of Facebook (and other social networking sites, such as Twitter) is allowing “friends” to share information. Friends are people who have agreed to communicate with and allow one another some level of access to personal information. Anyone with access to the Internet can join Facebook, the most popular social networking site, and connect with contacts. As of June 2015, Facebook claims more than 1.49 billion monthly active users. In healthcare, Facebook posts can influence the hiring process, violate patient privacy and result in termination of employment. This module informs healthcare professionals of the risks of social networks, which break down the walls separating our personal and professional lives.

Transforming Practice: Taking the Leap to APRN (1 contact hr) As healthcare continues to evolve and advance practice nurses enhance their vital role, many nurses are contemplating advancing their careers and practice as well. However, its not always an easy decision. Program choice, cost, schedules, specialty … how do nurses make this decision? This webinar will discuss the importance of the APRN and how nurses can make the important decision to transform their practice into this role.

The post Networking keeps nurses from living on their own island appeared first on Nursing News, Stories & Articles.

from Nursing News, Stories & Articles https://ift.tt/2y3PWND

[chocolate-brownies]

Live Be Yoga: Want to Thrive as a Yoga Teacher? 5 Tips from a Yogi Who Cut Through the Competition with Grace

Live Be Yoga: Want to Thrive as a Yoga Teacher? 5 Tips from a Yogi Who Cut Through the Competition with Grace:

Tiffany Russo shares how to find success in the holistic hustle and stay true to the yogic path.

Tiffany Russo teaches SmartFLOW yoga to a packed classroom at YogaWorks Santa Monica

Live Be Yoga ambassadors Jeremy Falk and Aris Seaberg are on a road trip across the country to share real talk with master teachers, explore innovative classes, and so much more—all to illuminate what’s in store for the future of yoga. Want more stories from Live Be Yoga? Follow the tour and get the latest stories @livebeyoga on Instagram and Facebook.

Sure, the life of yoga teacher seems glamorous. We all spend the day wearing stretchy pants, covered in essential oils, and floating on calm clouds of compassion, right? 

The reality is that most of us are running around between classes, working simultaneously as our own managers, booking agents, and marketing strategists—often without benefits or paid sick leave. There is more grit than glamour, and if anyone would know, it’s Tiffany Russo. She has a decade of teaching under her belt in Los Angeles, one of the most saturated and competitive yoga cities in the world.

As a former manager of many of Hollywood’s hottest nightclubs, she was “drawn to the thrill of competition,” but it often left her depleted. Like many of us, she fell in love with yoga because it was the only time her mind would quiet, and it offered her a chance to slow down and restore. She knew she was faced with a choice. 

“In order to move away from the toxic nightlife, I literally made a night-to-day change and chose a more therapeutic route,” she told us. 

And it paid off. 

In 2017, having established herself as an trusted source of anatomy and alignment wisdom, she made the cover of Yoga Journal. So, when we got a chance to sit down with Tiffany outside of YogaWorks in Santa Monica, after we took her class, we were eager to soak up her advice for new yoga teachers on how to stay on the path and cut through competition—yogically, of course. Here, her five top tips. 

1) Always Have a Teacher

After receiving a teaching certification, it might seem sufficient to self-study from the plethora of available resources these days, but there is no substitute for carrying on the tradition of an in-person, guru-disciple relationship. Teachings are transmitted in a more powerful way in person.

“Having a teacher is so necessary to stay inspired,” Tiffany says. She recalls how she was fortunate to build a relationship with her teacher, Annie Carpenter, early on and is now one of three teachers in the world qualified to teach Annie’s signature SmartFLOW Yogatrainings. 

Plus, since teaching tends to be an independent path, these relationships help keep us all connected to each other, which is quintessentially yogic.

2) Stay Grounded in the Texts

Your teachers may change as your career and interests evolve, so it’s important to remain grounded in the original yogic texts and have a firm sense of the philosophical foundation of the practice. Read the ancient texts, like Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, the Upanishads, or the Bhagavad Gita over and over again. Tiffany believes that, as we grow and change, the same teachings affect us in different ways. 

“The more I study the Sutras and the more life experience I have, the more it all just weaves together,” she says. “The more you experience life, the more the sutras make sense.”

Honor your circumstances, keep a clear vision of the future you’re trying to create, and balance it all with a sense of aparigraha (non-grasping).

3) Be Authentic

With the rise of social media, many of us are pulled into judging ourselves against a backdrop of other people’s carefully curated highlight reels. 

“It’s hard for a lot of us to really trust who we are and know our voice,” says Tiffany. 

To keep that in check, she strongly believes in the wise adage from Benjamin Franklin, who cautions that “comparison is the thief of joy.” 

Find a studio that allows you to speak your voice, and if you’re being asked to teach in a way that does not resonate with you, find another studio. The more you own your authenticity, the more people will gravitate toward you, which begins to create your sangha (community). Ultimately, those bonds will be stronger because they’re authentic. 

“That sense of connection breeds success,” Tiffany says.

See also Tiffany Russo on How to Cultivate Community During Times of Disunity

4) Be Clear About Your Vision—Then Be Patient

As we become increasingly conditioned to lighting-fast instant gratification, thanks to social media, it may help to humble ourselves and remember that ancient yogis spent decades in isolated practice and rarely considered themselves a qualified guru otherwise. So be patient. 

Tiffany recalled how it took her six years to quit part-time bartending and transition to a full-time yoga teacher. “One of the things I did was I wrote out my ideal schedule on a post it and put it on a wall,“ she remembers. "And I got that schedule. It didn’t happen overnight, but I told the universe what I wanted.” 

So, honor your circumstances, keep a clear vision of the future you’re trying to create, and balance it all with a sense of aparigraha (non-grasping).

5) Remember Why You Fell in Love with Yoga in the First Place

Perhaps the most important piece of advice every guru agrees on is to practice, practice, practice. 

“I think during the hustle of trying to be successful, we forget why we fell in love,” says Tiffany. 

Always set aside time in your schedule for you own consistent self-practice, and honor this time as equally important as any other time spent studying or generating revenue. The more you practice, the more you’ll remember why you teach, and those qualities will come through more powerfully to your students. Ultimately, you and the practice will live on with passion and purpose.

See also Tiffany Russo’s Safe, Core-Supported Backbend Sequence

A Special Namaste (and Discount Code!) from Our Partner

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[vennomax]

Reasons Why Traditions Still Matter

New Post has been published on http://www.vennomax.com/lifestyle/reasons-why-traditions-still-matter/

Reasons Why Traditions Still Matter

Christmas and the holiday season brings with it a variety of cultural and familial traditions.

Every nation and culture in the world has its traditions. Tradition is a belief, principle, custom or behaviour with symbolic meaning or special significance that people in a particular group or society have continued to follow for a long time often being handed down from one generation to the next.

Traditions are important as they help us achieve the “Four B’s”: Being, Belonging, Believing and Benevolence.

Traditions are constant, give us something to look forward to and are fun and enjoyable while, keeping us grounded and focused on what really matters in life.

The holiday season fast approaches, bringing with it a variety of cultural and familial traditions. A sense of excitement and magic is in the air; you can smell it, even taste it.

In our fast paced and ever changing lives and a world that appears to be in constant turmoil, traditions are more important than ever before. They offer constancy, stability, familiarity and a semblance of order and predictability to our existence. They comfort us, give us a sense of belonging, and make us feel safe and secure.

Tradition is a belief, principle, custom or behaviour with symbolic meaning or special significance that people in a particular group or society have continued to follow for a long time, often being handed down from one generation to the next. It’s derived from the Latin verb “trader” meaning to transmit, hand over, give for safekeeping. It’s frequently assumed that traditions have ancient history, but many have been invented on purpose over short spans of time.

They’re regular behaviours or actions that we engage in over and over again at the same time and often in the same way. They differ from our routines or habits as they’re done consciously with a specific purpose in mind.

We invest traditions with emotion, which is why we value them so much. They’re often the glue that binds a community or family of people together, and are a critical part of any culture. But while specific traditions vary from person to person and culture to culture, what is clear is that across the world the concept of traditions is important. The Ipsos MORI Global Trends 2017 survey interviewed over 18,000 people in 23 countries and found that globally 80% agreed that “traditions are an important part of society” and for all bar one country, Japan, this sentiment was increasing.

Why are traditions so important to us? Why do we need them? According to Saul Levine M.D., Professor Emeritus in Psychiatry at the University of California at San Diego, tradition helps us achieve the “Four B’s”.

Being – our sense of inner peace and self-acceptance of our strengths and weaknesses and feeling grounded in our core identity.

Belonging – our sense of comfort from being part of a group of people such as a family or team that share our values and provide support, respect and friendship.

Believing – our need to believe in a system of moral principles and ethical behaviour be that religious or secular

Benevolence – our predisposition to be helpful to others in need, to enhance the lives of others in our group of people or even strangers.

Traditions provide us with numerous benefits. They provide us with a source of identity; they tell the story of where we came from and remind us of what has shaped our lives. They connect generations and strengthen our group bonds, and help us feel that we are part of something unique and special. They offer us both comfort and security especially in times of profound change and grief. They teach us values and help us pass on our cultural or religious history. Best of all, they create lasting memories which in itself provides us with a wide variety of benefits.

However, not all traditions are good. Some traditions people do just because they’re traditions and they don’t take the time to think very carefully about why they’re doing them or to question what purpose they serve. Others are just downright dangerous, such as the Polar Bear Plunge in the US, the Baby Dropping Ritual in Solapur, India, Cooper’s Hill Cheese-Rolling in Gloucester, England and Running with the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain.

Traditions are society’s assets, but only if they are allowed to evolve with the times. They’re not written in stone. They should adapt constantly to meet the changing requirements of both time and social contexts. They’re living beasts. We can decide for ourselves which traditions are worth preserving, which ones require some revision, and which are best consigned to history.

Why do we bother? Traditions are constant, give us something to look forward to, and on the whole tend to be fun and enjoyable while keeping us grounded and focused on what really matters in life – our families or chosen group that we belong to.

During the Christmas holiday season we will all have certain things we always do – our traditions. These specially seem to stick in our memories. But, how many that you’ll personally follow or are at least aware of do you know the origins of?

1. Christmas Carols

Originally Pagan folk songs sung at the Winter Solstice celebrations (December 22nd) as people danced round stone circles, ‘Carol’ meant ‘a dance in a ring’. Early Christians took over the pagan solstice celebrations for Christmas and gave people Christian songs to sing instead of pagan ones. The first English Christmas carol on record was written by a chaplain in 1426 who listed twenty five “caroles of Cristemas”.

2. Christmas Pudding

Christmas pudding, or Plum pudding, is the traditional end to the UK Christmas dinner. Originating in the 14th century, it was a porridge called ‘frumenty’ that was made of beef and mutton with raisins, currants, prunes, wines and spices. This evolved into the current 13 ingredient pudding in the 17th century with each ingredient supposedly representing Jesus and his Disciples. It is traditionally decorated with a sprig of holly to represent the crown of thorns Jesus wore during his crucifixion and brandy is poured over the pudding and set alight at the table to represent Jesus’ love and power. A silver coin in the pudding is another custom said to bring good luck to the person that finds it!

3. Boxing Day

Boxing Day on December 26th is celebrated in countries mainly historically connected with the UK and some European countries including Germany. It originated in the UK in the Middle Ages as the day when the church collection boxes for the poor were opened and the money inside distributed to the poor. It became the annual day off for servants when they would receive a Christmas box from their employers containing money and small gifts and for tradespeople to travel round their delivery places and collect their Christmas box or tip. It remains a public holiday to this day.

Understanding the traditions of your customers has never been so important. Understanding how these impact your brand is critical to adding authenticity to your story and long term viability for your brand. Understanding these cultural nuances and idiosyncrasies could be your key differentiating factor in building customer relationships.

[krisiunicornio]

Tiffany Russo shares how to find success in the holistic hustle and stay true to the yogic path.

Tiffany Russo teaches SmartFLOW yoga to a packed classroom at YogaWorks Santa Monica

Live Be Yoga ambassadors Jeremy Falk and Aris Seaberg are on a road trip across the country to share real talk with master teachers, explore innovative classes, and so much more—all to illuminate what's in store for the future of yoga. Want more stories from Live Be Yoga? Follow the tour and get the latest stories @livebeyoga on Instagram and Facebook.

Sure, the life of yoga teacher seems glamorous. We all spend the day wearing stretchy pants, covered in essential oils, and floating on calm clouds of compassion, right? 

The reality is that most of us are running around between classes, working simultaneously as our own managers, booking agents, and marketing strategists—often without benefits or paid sick leave. There is more grit than glamour, and if anyone would know, it’s Tiffany Russo. She has a decade of teaching under her belt in Los Angeles, one of the most saturated and competitive yoga cities in the world.

As a former manager of many of Hollywood’s hottest nightclubs, she was “drawn to the thrill of competition,” but it often left her depleted. Like many of us, she fell in love with yoga because it was the only time her mind would quiet, and it offered her a chance to slow down and restore. She knew she was faced with a choice. 

“In order to move away from the toxic nightlife, I literally made a night-to-day change and chose a more therapeutic route,” she told us. 

And it paid off. 

In 2017, having established herself as an trusted source of anatomy and alignment wisdom, she made the cover of Yoga Journal. So, when we got a chance to sit down with Tiffany outside of YogaWorks in Santa Monica, after we took her class, we were eager to soak up her advice for new yoga teachers on how to stay on the path and cut through competition—yogically, of course. Here, her five top tips. 

1) Always Have a Teacher

After receiving a teaching certification, it might seem sufficient to self-study from the plethora of available resources these days, but there is no substitute for carrying on the tradition of an in-person, guru-disciple relationship. Teachings are transmitted in a more powerful way in person.

“Having a teacher is so necessary to stay inspired,” Tiffany says. She recalls how she was fortunate to build a relationship with her teacher, Annie Carpenter, early on and is now one of three teachers in the world qualified to teach Annie's signature SmartFLOW Yoga trainings. 

Plus, since teaching tends to be an independent path, these relationships help keep us all connected to each other, which is quintessentially yogic.

2) Stay Grounded in the Texts

Your teachers may change as your career and interests evolve, so it’s important to remain grounded in the original yogic texts and have a firm sense of the philosophical foundation of the practice. Read the ancient texts, like Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, the Upanishads, or the Bhagavad Gita over and over again. Tiffany believes that, as we grow and change, the same teachings affect us in different ways. 

“The more I study the Sutras and the more life experience I have, the more it all just weaves together,” she says. “The more you experience life, the more the sutras make sense.”

Honor your circumstances, keep a clear vision of the future you’re trying to create, and balance it all with a sense of aparigraha (non-grasping).

3) Be Authentic

With the rise of social media, many of us are pulled into judging ourselves against a backdrop of other people’s carefully curated highlight reels. 

“It’s hard for a lot of us to really trust who we are and know our voice,” says Tiffany. 

To keep that in check, she strongly believes in the wise adage from Benjamin Franklin, who cautions that “comparison is the thief of joy.” 

Find a studio that allows you to speak your voice, and if you’re being asked to teach in a way that does not resonate with you, find another studio. The more you own your authenticity, the more people will gravitate toward you, which begins to create your sangha (community). Ultimately, those bonds will be stronger because they’re authentic. 

“That sense of connection breeds success,” Tiffany says.

See also Tiffany Russo on How to Cultivate Community During Times of Disunity

4) Be Clear About Your Vision—Then Be Patient

As we become increasingly conditioned to lighting-fast instant gratification, thanks to social media, it may help to humble ourselves and remember that ancient yogis spent decades in isolated practice and rarely considered themselves a qualified guru otherwise. So be patient. 

Tiffany recalled how it took her six years to quit part-time bartending and transition to a full-time yoga teacher. “One of the things I did was I wrote out my ideal schedule on a post it and put it on a wall," she remembers. "And I got that schedule. It didn't happen overnight, but I told the universe what I wanted.” 

So, honor your circumstances, keep a clear vision of the future you’re trying to create, and balance it all with a sense of aparigraha (non-grasping).

5) Remember Why You Fell in Love with Yoga in the First Place

Perhaps the most important piece of advice every guru agrees on is to practice, practice, practice. 

“I think during the hustle of trying to be successful, we forget why we fell in love,” says Tiffany. 

Always set aside time in your schedule for you own consistent self-practice, and honor this time as equally important as any other time spent studying or generating revenue. The more you practice, the more you’ll remember why you teach, and those qualities will come through more powerfully to your students. Ultimately, you and the practice will live on with passion and purpose.

See also Tiffany Russo's Safe, Core-Supported Backbend Sequence

A Special Namaste (and Discount Code!) from Our Partner

For extra support staying grounded and flexible on the path, check out our friends at FIGS by Figueroa for a uniquely designed sandal that was made with movers in mind. Visit FigsShoes.com and use our special coupon code LiveBeFigs for a 20% off your next order!

Teachers, Need Liability Insurance? Protect yourself with liability insurance and access benefits to build your skills and business. As a TeachersPlus member, you receive affordable coverage, a free online course, exclusive webinars and content packed with advice from master teachers, discounts on education and gear, and more. Join today!

[cedarrrun]

Tiffany Russo shares how to find success in the holistic hustle and stay true to the yogic path.

Tiffany Russo teaches SmartFLOW yoga to a packed classroom at YogaWorks Santa Monica

Live Be Yoga ambassadors Jeremy Falk and Aris Seaberg are on a road trip across the country to share real talk with master teachers, explore innovative classes, and so much more—all to illuminate what's in store for the future of yoga. Want more stories from Live Be Yoga? Follow the tour and get the latest stories @livebeyoga on Instagram and Facebook.

Sure, the life of yoga teacher seems glamorous. We all spend the day wearing stretchy pants, covered in essential oils, and floating on calm clouds of compassion, right? 

The reality is that most of us are running around between classes, working simultaneously as our own managers, booking agents, and marketing strategists—often without benefits or paid sick leave. There is more grit than glamour, and if anyone would know, it’s Tiffany Russo. She has a decade of teaching under her belt in Los Angeles, one of the most saturated and competitive yoga cities in the world.

As a former manager of many of Hollywood’s hottest nightclubs, she was “drawn to the thrill of competition,” but it often left her depleted. Like many of us, she fell in love with yoga because it was the only time her mind would quiet, and it offered her a chance to slow down and restore. She knew she was faced with a choice. 

“In order to move away from the toxic nightlife, I literally made a night-to-day change and chose a more therapeutic route,” she told us. 

And it paid off. 

In 2017, having established herself as an trusted source of anatomy and alignment wisdom, she made the cover of Yoga Journal. So, when we got a chance to sit down with Tiffany outside of YogaWorks in Santa Monica, after we took her class, we were eager to soak up her advice for new yoga teachers on how to stay on the path and cut through competition—yogically, of course. Here, her five top tips. 

1) Always Have a Teacher

After receiving a teaching certification, it might seem sufficient to self-study from the plethora of available resources these days, but there is no substitute for carrying on the tradition of an in-person, guru-disciple relationship. Teachings are transmitted in a more powerful way in person.

“Having a teacher is so necessary to stay inspired,” Tiffany says. She recalls how she was fortunate to build a relationship with her teacher, Annie Carpenter, early on and is now one of three teachers in the world qualified to teach Annie's signature SmartFLOW Yoga trainings. 

Plus, since teaching tends to be an independent path, these relationships help keep us all connected to each other, which is quintessentially yogic.

2) Stay Grounded in the Texts

Your teachers may change as your career and interests evolve, so it’s important to remain grounded in the original yogic texts and have a firm sense of the philosophical foundation of the practice. Read the ancient texts, like Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, the Upanishads, or the Bhagavad Gita over and over again. Tiffany believes that, as we grow and change, the same teachings affect us in different ways. 

“The more I study the Sutras and the more life experience I have, the more it all just weaves together,” she says. “The more you experience life, the more the sutras make sense.”

Honor your circumstances, keep a clear vision of the future you’re trying to create, and balance it all with a sense of aparigraha (non-grasping).

3) Be Authentic

With the rise of social media, many of us are pulled into judging ourselves against a backdrop of other people’s carefully curated highlight reels. 

“It’s hard for a lot of us to really trust who we are and know our voice,” says Tiffany. 

To keep that in check, she strongly believes in the wise adage from Benjamin Franklin, who cautions that “comparison is the thief of joy.” 

Find a studio that allows you to speak your voice, and if you’re being asked to teach in a way that does not resonate with you, find another studio. The more you own your authenticity, the more people will gravitate toward you, which begins to create your sangha (community). Ultimately, those bonds will be stronger because they’re authentic. 

“That sense of connection breeds success,” Tiffany says.

See also Tiffany Russo on How to Cultivate Community During Times of Disunity

4) Be Clear About Your Vision—Then Be Patient

As we become increasingly conditioned to lighting-fast instant gratification, thanks to social media, it may help to humble ourselves and remember that ancient yogis spent decades in isolated practice and rarely considered themselves a qualified guru otherwise. So be patient. 

Tiffany recalled how it took her six years to quit part-time bartending and transition to a full-time yoga teacher. “One of the things I did was I wrote out my ideal schedule on a post it and put it on a wall," she remembers. "And I got that schedule. It didn't happen overnight, but I told the universe what I wanted.” 

So, honor your circumstances, keep a clear vision of the future you’re trying to create, and balance it all with a sense of aparigraha (non-grasping).

5) Remember Why You Fell in Love with Yoga in the First Place

Perhaps the most important piece of advice every guru agrees on is to practice, practice, practice. 

“I think during the hustle of trying to be successful, we forget why we fell in love,” says Tiffany. 

Always set aside time in your schedule for you own consistent self-practice, and honor this time as equally important as any other time spent studying or generating revenue. The more you practice, the more you’ll remember why you teach, and those qualities will come through more powerfully to your students. Ultimately, you and the practice will live on with passion and purpose.

See also Tiffany Russo's Safe, Core-Supported Backbend Sequence

A Special Namaste (and Discount Code!) from Our Partner

For extra support staying grounded and flexible on the path, check out our friends at FIGS by Figueroa for a uniquely designed sandal that was made with movers in mind. Visit FigsShoes.com and use our special coupon code LiveBeFigs for a 20% off your next order!

Teachers, Need Liability Insurance? Protect yourself with liability insurance and access benefits to build your skills and business. As a TeachersPlus member, you receive affordable coverage, a free online course, exclusive webinars and content packed with advice from master teachers, discounts on education and gear, and more. Join today!

[amyddaniels]

Live Be Yoga: Want to Thrive as a Yoga Teacher? 5 Tips from a Yogi Who Cut Through the Competition with Grace

Tiffany Russo shares how to find success in the holistic hustle and stay true to the yogic path.

Tiffany Russo teaches SmartFLOW yoga to a packed classroom at YogaWorks Santa Monica

Live Be Yoga ambassadors Jeremy Falk and Aris Seaberg are on a road trip across the country to share real talk with master teachers, explore innovative classes, and so much more—all to illuminate what's in store for the future of yoga. Want more stories from Live Be Yoga? Follow the tour and get the latest stories @livebeyoga on Instagram and Facebook.

Sure, the life of yoga teacher seems glamorous. We all spend the day wearing stretchy pants, covered in essential oils, and floating on calm clouds of compassion, right? 

The reality is that most of us are running around between classes, working simultaneously as our own managers, booking agents, and marketing strategists—often without benefits or paid sick leave. There is often more grit than glamour, and if anyone would know, it’s Tiffany Russo. She has a decade of teaching under her belt in Los Angeles, one of the most saturated and competitive yoga cities in the world.

As a former manager of many of Hollywood’s hottest nightclubs, she was “drawn to the thrill of competition,” but it often left her depleted. Like many of us, she fell in love with yoga because it was the only time her mind would quiet, and it offered her a chance to slow down and restore. She knew she was faced with a choice. 

“In order to move away from the toxic nightlife, I literally made a night-to-day change and chose a more therapeutic route,” she told us. 

And it paid off. 

In 2017, having established herself as an trusted source of anatomy and alignment wisdom, she made the cover of Yoga Journal. So when we got a chance to sit down with Tiffany outside of YogaWorks in Santa Monica, after we took her class, we were eager to soak up her advice for new yoga teachers on how to stay on the path and cut through competition—yogically, of course. Here, five of her top tips.

1) Always Have a Teacher

After receiving a teaching certification, it might seem sufficient to self-study from the plethora of available resources these days, but there is no substitute for carrying on the tradition of an in-person, guru-disciple relationship. Teachings are transmitted in a more powerful way in person.

“Having a teacher is so necessary to stay inspired,” Tiffany says. She recalls how she was fortunate to build a relationship with her teacher, Annie Carpenter, early on and is now one of three teachers in the world qualified to teach Annie's signature SmartFLOW Yoga trainings. 

Plus, since teaching tends to be an independent path, these relationships help keep us all connected to each other, which is quintessentially yogic.

2) Stay Grounded in the Texts

Your teachers may change as your career and interests evolve, so it’s important to remain grounded in the original yogic texts and have a firm sense of the philosophical foundation of the practice. Read the ancient texts, like Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, the Upanishads, or the Bhagavad Gita over and over again. Tiffany believes that, as we grow and change, the same teachings affect us in different ways. 

“The more I study the Sutras and the more life experience I have, the more it all just weaves together,” she says. “The more you experience life, the more the sutras make sense.”

Honor your circumstances, keep a clear vision of the future you’re trying to create, and balance it all with a sense of aparigraha (non-grasping).

3) Be Authentic

With the rise of social media, many of us are pulled into judging ourselves against a backdrop of other people’s carefully curated highlight reels. 

“It’s hard for a lot of us to really trust who we are and know our voice,” says Tiffany. 

To keep that in check, she strongly believes in the wise adage from Benjamin Franklin, who cautions that “comparison is the thief of joy.” 

Find a studio that allows you to speak your voice, and if you’re being asked to teach in a way that does not resonate with you, find another studio. The more you own your authenticity, the more people will gravitate toward you, which begins to create your sangha (community). Ultimately, those bonds will be stronger because they’re authentic. 

“That sense of connection breeds success,” Tiffany says.

See also Tiffany Russo on How to Cultivate Community During Times of Disunity

4) Be Clear About Your Vision—Then Be Patient

As we become increasingly conditioned to lighting-fast instant gratification, thanks to social media, it may help to humble ourselves and remember that ancient yogis spent decades in isolated practice and rarely considered themselves a qualified guru otherwise. So be patient. 

Tiffany recalled how it took her six years to quit part-time bartending and transition to a full-time yoga teacher. “One of the things I did was I wrote out my ideal schedule on a post it and put it on a wall," she remembers. "And I got that schedule. It didn't happen overnight, but I told the universe what I wanted.” 

So, honor your circumstances, keep a clear vision of the future you’re trying to create, and balance it all with a sense of aparigraha (non-grasping).

5) Remember Why You Fell in Love with Yoga in the First Place

Perhaps the most important piece of advice every guru agrees on is to practice, practice, practice. 

“I think during the hustle of trying to be successful, we forget why we fell in love,” says Tiffany. 

Always set aside time in your schedule for you own consistent self-practice, and honor this time as equally important as any other time spent studying or generating revenue. The more you practice, the more you’ll remember why you teach, and those qualities will come through more powerfully to your students. Ultimately, you and the practice will live on with passion and purpose.

See also Tiffany Russo's Safe, Core-Supported Backbend Sequence

A Special Namaste (and Discount Code!) from Our Partner

For extra support staying grounded and flexible on the path, check out our friends at FIGS by Figueroa for a uniquely designed sandal that was made with movers in mind. Visit FigsShoes.com and use our special coupon code LiveBeFigs for a 20% off your next order!

Teachers, Need Liability Insurance? Protect yourself with liability insurance and access benefits to build your skills and business. As a TeachersPlus member, you receive affordable coverage, a free online course, exclusive webinars and content packed with advice from master teachers, discounts on education and gear, and more. Join today!