#( * for better or worse right? / RICK & LORI )

[janiehellion]

Healing Touch

ONESHOT

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: When Daryl Dixon is injured and stuck in bed, he’s not exactly thrilled about the idea of being pampered by the group. But you? You’re more than ready to take care of him—and show him just what it means to be a good boy. Think Daryl Dixon’s all rough and tough? Think again...

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: DARYL DIXON X READER

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: SMUT / HANDJOB / TEASING / EDGING / ORGASM DENIAL

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 4.033

ꜱᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ: S2E05—ᴄʜᴜᴘᴀᴄᴀʙʀᴀ & S2E06—ꜱᴇᴄʀᴇᴛꜱ

MASTERLIST

You wiped the sweat from your forehead, the Georgia sun burning down on you as you walked over to Maggie and Glenn outside of the house on Hershel's farm.

Every so often, you'd look towards the cars where a few others in the group were working, trying to make the most of the now limited supplies you all had left at the moment.

"I got a lot of corn here," Maggie said, holding up a can. "Maybe we can make some soup tonight. What do you think?"

Glenn laughed, "Soup sounds fine, I think. As long as we don’t have to eat beans again. I think I’m starting to sprout beans myself."

"Hey Maggie," you shouted over to her. "How’s everything going so far? You two need any help?"

Maggie gave you a small, but rather distracted, smile. "It’s been a quiet run, so we’re okay. We just came back a few minutes ago with some new supplies."

You nodded. "That's good. Means we won't starve anytime soon. Hey, listen, I heard Daryl’s still inside the house. Do you know how he is feeling? I really hope he is feeling better. Everything that has happened, I just... I don't know. I still can't wrap my head around it."

"Well, dad took care of him, just like he did with Carl, so I wouldn't worry too much about his condition. And if it would've worsened, dad would've told Rick already, that's for sure. But what has happened to him out there, and then the bullet? I don't know him well enough, but I think that he’s too stubborn to admit he even needed help in the first place. And that ear necklace? I'm sorry, but that was beyond creepy."

You remembered… Daryl has been out there, trying to find Sophia again. Of course, it all had to go sideways. You didn't know the details exactly, but you remembered how he had dragged himself back to the farm, looking like he’d been through hell and back. Covered in dirt and blood, and barely conscious.

Then, just when things couldn’t get any worse, Andrea took a shot at him from the roof of the RV. She’d been told to hold off by Rick, Shane, and Dale, but she fired anyway, hitting Daryl in the head, with the bullet grazing his temple.

"I’ll check on him," you now said, putting the supplies aside again. "You're right, he's too stubborn to admit it, but he needs someone to make sure he’s not pushing himself too hard. And if he could, he'd already be out there again."

As you walked towards the farmhouse, you passed by Rick, who was busy organizing and looking through different maps. He looked up at you, giving you a nod. "Hey," he said, his voice sounding rather exhausted. "Are you going to check on Daryl? Or are you going to help Beth and Lori in the kitchen?"

You nodded. "Yeah. I’m going to make sure he’s okay. Daryl's been through hell while trying to find Sophia."

"Good idea. He’s definitely been through a lot, that's true. I mean, we all have. But just… be careful with him. You know how Daryl is."

You laughed, shaking your head. "I know, Rick. That’s why I’m going to make sure he stays put and tied to the bed. Don't worry."

As you walked into the farmhouse, you could hear a voice coming from the kitchen, where Lori was preparing a meal with Beth together for Daryl and the rest of the group.

"Hello," Lori said and looked at you. "Are you going to see Daryl, or do you want to help us? Rick has been annoying me with me apparently needing help, even though Beth is helping me already."

You nodded, giving her a smile back. "Don't worry, Lori. I want to make sure Daryl's alright, you know, after everything that has happened lately."

She gave you a quick and thankful thumbs up before you continued heading to the room in which Daryl was in, but paused for a moment in front of the door, taking a deep breath. The thought of Daryl lying there, probably still hurt and so vulnerable, made your heart ache. He’d always been so strong, but seeing him in such a state was hard to imagine. And just as you were about to open the door, you heard a voice coming from the inside of the room.

You stopped, listening for a moment before pushing open the door to find Hershel standing by Daryl’s bedside.

"Evening, Hershel," you said as you entered the room, trying to keep your tone neutral despite the knot of nervousness in your stomach.

Hershel looked up, smiling at the sight of you. "Hey there, good to see you. I could use an extra pair of hands."

You moved closer to the bed, where Daryl lay, and Hershel continued, "Daryl’s been in and out of consciousness yesterday most of the time, but I’m hopeful he’ll recover fast if he gets the rest he needs. And if you could help changing the rest of the bandages right now, that would be great."

You nodded, taking a closer look at Daryl. "Sure, I’ll do whatever I can to help. I know he can be stubborn, but he needs to take it easy eventually."

"That’s the spirit. I’ve done what I can for now. He’ll need the rest."

You were still looking at Daryl as Hershel took a few steps back, who now moved slightly at the sound of your voice. His eyes opened just a little bit, and he looked at you with confusion.

"Hey, tough guy," you said. "How are you holding up so far?"

"Just peachy, as always," he answered rather annoyed.

You couldn’t help but smile at his answer. He certainly sounded like the Daryl Dixon that you all knew so far. "Well, I’m here now, so you’d better let me take care of you."

Hershel gave you another nod before finally walking out of the room. "Good, I’ll leave you to it. If you need anything, like more bandages, don’t hesitate to ask. We still got enough medical supplies left if needed."

"Thanks, Hershel," you replied, watching as he left the room.

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the task ahead.

"What’re ya even doin’ here?" Daryl suddenly mumbled. "'M fine. Don’t need no babysittin’ bullshit. Ain't needin' ya 'round here either."

You gave him a smile, trying to hide how annoyed you already were with his usual behavior. "You’re obviously not fine, Daryl. You’ve been through a lot, and you know it. I’m here to make sure you don’t do anything stupid, like trying to get up and do something you shouldn’t."

He grumbled in frustration, trying to turn away from you. "Yeah… whatever."

You raised an eyebrow, shaking your head. "Yeah... Too bad, huh? Because right now, that means letting me help you."

"Ain’t nothin’ you can do that Hershel didn’t already do," he mumbled again.

You set down the small medical kit Hershel had brought with him and pulled a chair closer to the bed. "Hershel did his part, sure, but it’s not just about the wounds. You need to rest and relax, and that’s where I come in. Also, taking off the old bandages and putting on new ones isn't that hard, but I doubt that you can do it yourself. And Hershel just left the room, so it's up to me now to change the rest of them. I don't care if you complain about it or not."

You then began to carefully take off the bandages from his side, where the crossbow bolt had pierced itself through. Daryl winced a little, but he didn’t complain so far, his pride keeping him quiet even though you could see how uncomfortable it was for him.

"You know, for someone who’s always acting so tough, you’re a real damn mess right now," you said, trying to break the ice with a bit of humor. "How’d you end up like that anyway? What even happened out there?"

Daryl smirked a bit to himself. "Ya think I’m gonna tell ya a story now? Hell, jus' get it over with."

You shook your head and laughed quietly, focusing on cleaning the wound first. "Hey, I'm not the one that looks like the wrong side of the bed became sentient and beat the ever-loving shit out of you. So you’re going to have to deal with me being the one to help you. It’s either that or I get someone else who’s less careful."

"Less careful?" Daryl asked, and he winced again as you applied antiseptic to the wound. "Sounds to me like yer enjoyin’ this."

You stopped for a moment and looked at him with a teasing smile. "You know what? Maybe I really am enjoying this. Or maybe I just want to make sure you’re not going to cause us any more trouble, even though we all appreciate what you did. Especially Carol."

"Ya think I need ya to look after me? I can handle myself jus' fine," he grumbled and closed his eyes, not wanting to look at you anymore.

You soon finished cleaning the wound and then continued with the fresh bandages. "Oh, I’m sure you can, Dixon. But that’s not even the point. The point is, you’re not in any shape to be running around and playing redneck cowboy."

Daryl moved slightly again, trying to get more comfortable. "Ain't in need to be told twice. Thank ya very much."

You stopped wrapping the bandage around him, waiting for him to get into a more comfortable position. "Stop it with the damn sarcasm, Daryl. For someone who’s always trying to play it cool, you’re really not doing a great job of hiding how much this is bothering you. You do realize that looking weak and needing help are two different things, right? You're far from being weak, and you've done much more for this group than you can probably imagine, even if you're doubting yourself and telling yourself that it's all bullshit in the end." You told him and then continued, putting on the final bandage. "But it's not. And right now, you need to let yourself be looked after, and you need to give us the chance to care about you. Even if it's only for once."

There was a moment of silence, and for a second he looked at you only to look away again, clearly struggling with giving you an honest answer about what he thinks.

You took a deep breath. "Alright, I’m done with the bandages. How about a quick check of your other injuries?"

Daryl nodded quickly, but you could see he was starting to relax a bit. "Yeah, fine. Jus'… make it quick, will ya? Ain't got no time for this bullshit."

You smiled and began checking his other wounds. "So, what’s your actual excuse for not telling us what has happened?"

"Ain't worth tellin’. Jus' 'nother day of me bein’ stupid," he grumbled back as an answer.

Soon enough, you finished checking his other wounds and stood up, giving him a pat on the shoulder. "Well, now that I’ve made sure you’re all patched up, try to get some rest. We’re all counting on you to be back on your feet soon; don't forget that."

He snorted. "Yeah, sure. I’ll try to stay outta trouble while bein' tied to this damn bed."

You smiled and began to pack up the antiseptic and unused bandages, putting them back into the small medical kit. "That’s all I ask for. Get some sleep, Daryl. You know you need it. Something to eat will be ready soon."

As you put away the last of the bandages, you noticed how tense Daryl seemed to be. So you decided to take an extra moment to help him relax, thinking how a little extra care couldn’t hurt.

Your fingers soon massaged his side as you sat down once more, careful not to touch the wound. It was meant to ease the tense muscles around it a bit, but as your hands moved over his skin, you felt that he seemed to react differently when he gasped slightly.

"Ya really don’t have to," he started, but he stopped talking as you continued, your touch slow and feeling soothing.

You looked up, now looking into his eyes. "Why not? You’re all tense. And it’s not just about the injuries; your whole body’s been through a lot. A little extra care might help. There's nothing wrong with it."

He grunted, trying to remain tough, but his breathing grew heavier, betraying his growing discomfort, and you noticed how his body responded to your touch—a reaction he was clearly trying to hide.

His cock began to harden under the sheets. The outline of it was becoming more pronounced, and you could see the rise of the sheets with each breath he took.

You tried to ignore the current awkwardness of the situation, but it was impossible not to notice, and even more impossible not to look at it. Your fingers stopped, and you hesitated momentarily before continuing to massage his side, with Daryl’s eyes squeezed shut and another groan escaping his lips.

"Ugh... Daryl?" You asked quietly, your voice full of curiosity as you realized what was happening. "Are you… okay?"

He opened his eyes and turned his head away from you. "Yeah, jus', jus' let it be. Shit, jus' stop!"

But you couldn’t ignore the evident hardening beneath the sheets anymore. As you moved slightly in your seat to get a little bit closer to him, your hand accidentally brushed against his cock, and Daryl’s reaction was immediate—he sucked in a breath, his body tensing even more.

"Ain’t needin’ ya to… to be all handsy now, goddamn it!" Daryl's voice was trembling, his body shaking a bit, and his muscles straining, even as you didn't continue to massage him. But the sudden power you had over him was intoxicating, and you decided to take your chance and act on it.

You reached down and carefully pulled back the sheets covering his lower body. Daryl’s breathing hitched as you exposed him, and his cock was already hard, pushing against his pants. You could see it clearly now, the visible outline of it.

You smirked at him as you pulled the waistband of his pants down, just enough to pull his cock out and free it from his underwear.

As you pulled it out, Daryl's eyes widened as he watched you handle him. There was no need for words; the look on his face said it all. He felt vulnerable.

You gave him a smile, your hand now wrapped around his throbbing cock. "You look like you're about to lose it, Dixon."

He glared back at you, but there was no real anger in his eyes. "Ain’t fair, ya know…"

You leaned in close to him, your lips touching his ear. "Well, who said life was fair?" Your hand started to move, giving his cock a slow, torturous stroke that had him groaning. "But maybe… if you ask nicely…"

"God… Please," he groaned again, but it was clear he wasn’t used to begging, yet the desperation in his voice was there beyond doubt.

"Good boy," you murmured, and you could see how his eyes slowly closed as he gave in to your touch and words.

You soon picked up the pace, your hand moving faster, his hips bucking into your hand. "Shit, jus' like that," he moaned, his eyes squeezing shut even more tightly.

Fuck… How he wanted it. Your hand working his cock, making him forget about everything that has happened…

You could tell he was close already. His cock twitched in your hand, and the quiet sounds he was making were turning more desperate. "Please," he gasped again. "I… I can’t..."

"Oh? Already, huh?" You teased him, your thumb brushing over the tip of his cock, smearing the pre-cum over it that had gathered there.

You smirked, enjoying the power you had over him. "Do you like this?" You teased him further.

"Yeah, jus' like that…" He panted, his body trembling. "Please... I need ya to touch me more. Can't fuckin' take it..."

"Touch you where, Daryl? Use your words. Be a good boy and tell me exactly what you want."

"My damn dick... please, jus' touch it." You immediately switched your pace back to pump him slowly again, and each stroke of your hand made him shiver, his moans growing a little louder with every touch.

His hips bucked involuntarily, but you kept your rhythm controlled, never speeding up, not letting him get the orgasm he wanted so desperately.

"I thought you were a tough guy. But look at you—so damn needy already. Come on, Daryl," you mumbled. "You’re not done yet. Not until I say so."

He whimpered, trying to thrust into your hand, but you stopped him, keeping him on edge.

"Fuck, please…" He groaned in frustration. "Don’t stop… jus' fuckin' finish me off already!"

You laughed, your grip tightening just enough to torture him a little more. "And why would I do that? You need to learn so much more about patience."

With each stroke, you used different pressure and speed, sometimes going slower just when he thought he was about to finally cum. The feeling was almost unbearable for Daryl, and you could see it in the way his muscles tensed and relaxed again and again, his breathing only coming out in gasps.

"How does it feel, Daryl? Being held on the edge like this?" You asked, looking over at the door to listen if somebody was coming closer.

"Shit, feels so damn good…" He gasped, his voice strained. "I jus' need… I need to… Fuck!"

You smiled, leaning closer to him once more when you were sure that you'd be left alone. "Not yet, tough guy. I want to see just how much you can take."

You continued your teasing, your strokes slow and torturous. "You can take it. I know you can. You want it, don’t you? You want to make me finish you so badly, but you’re going to have to earn it," you whispered.

Daryl could only nod. "Please… Hell, I can't take much more!" 

He couldn't take it anymore. The teasing—it was all too much. He wanted to cum. And he needed you to make him cum. Hell, he loved it. Your hand pumping his cock, teasing him, making him groan with need. The way you toyed with him, bringing him so close only to pull back? Shit, he was losing it… And the way your fingers wrapped around his cock, jerking it just right… It was driving him insane.

You simply grinned, feeling excited because of the power you held over him. "But that's good. Because I want you to remember this. Remember how much you wanted it and how much I made you wait."

His eyes were still squeezed shut, his fists clenched at his sides as he fought against the urge to give in.

With that, you continued to edge him, every touch, every stroke keeping him on the brink, pushing him to the limit of his own control.

And the feeling of sliding your hand back and forth along his thick shaft, the way he groaned and moaned quietly, trying to keep himself quiet just for you—it was everything you wanted...

"Fuck, please," he moaned again, his voice now breaking slightly.

His cock was pulsing in your hand and still leaking pre-cum, and you knew this was the moment he might not be able to hold back any longer. And just when he was about to finally stumble over the edge, you stopped pumping him completely, pulling your hand away from his throbbing cock.

Daryl’s eyes flew open in shock, anger, and need. "What the fuck?" He growled, his voice hoarse. "Why’d ya stop?"

You leaned in, whispering into his ear. "Because I wanted to see you beg for it, Daryl. And you’re not quite there yet."

He glared at you in need, his cheeks red, and sweat started to form on his body. "Ya can’t jus' leave me like this! Please!"

"Oh, but I can," you answered with a smirk. "And I will. Unless you really beg for it."

Daryl closed his mouth, and you could see the muscles in his jaw twitching around as he gritted his teeth, his pride and ego fighting with his desperate need. Finally, he let out a frustrated groan, his head falling back against the pillow.

"Please, please, let me cum," he whispered and finally started to beg and whimper a little more. "Please! I can't take it anymore. Please…"

God... How much he needed you. Desperately. Your hands, your touch, everything about the way you teased and pumped him, the way you handled him… It was like you knew exactly what he wanted and what he needed, and you were giving it to him for free, if only he would beg for it...

You smiled, satisfied with his response. "That’s better. Now, let’s see how much more you can take."

You went back to your teasing, your hand moving slowly over his cock, feeling him twitch and pulse again with every touch. His moans grew a little louder, even more desperate, as you brought him to the edge again and again, only to stop just before he could finally cum.

By the time you finally decided to give him what he needed, Daryl was nothing more than a trembling and pleading mess, his hips bucking toward you again and again, his eyes now looking desperatly at you.

"Fuck, you’re such a good boy, Daryl," you whispered quietly. "Look at you, trying to keep quiet for me, trying to hold back so hard. Taking it like you should… Don't stop looking at me."

You sped up, your movements rough and fast, giving him no time to adjust to the now quick pace. His body was shaking, and you could feel he was more than ready to snap.

"Yeah, you want to cum so bad, don’t you?" You teased. "Go on, Daryl. Cum for me. Show me how much you need it. How much you want it."

With a choked groan, Daryl's body tensed. His orgasm hit him hard, his cock pulsing in your grip as he came all over your hand. You kept pumping him through it, milking every last drop out of him.

"Oh, you really are a good boy, aren't you?" You mumbled. "Let it all out. You did so well for me."

He collapsed back against the bed, completely spent and exhausted, his chest heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath.

You reached for a towel next to the small medical kit, wiping your hand and cleaning up carefully, making sure not to leave any evidence of what had just happened behind, before you looked down at Daryl, a wide smile on your face.

"Fuck," he panted. "That was… fuck..."

"Told you I’d take care of you," you answered him, giving him a wink.

He opened his eyes, looking at you quite exhausted. "Yeah, ya did…"

He didn’t protest as you cleaned him up; he just watched and stared at you with those intense blue eyes, still catching his breath with his mouth slightly open.

"There," you said, as you were finishing everything up. "All cleaned up again."

Daryl didn’t say anything for now, just giving you a small and a little ashamed nod as you leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his sweaty face.

"Get some rest now, tough guy," you whispered, pulling back and standing up. "You’re gonna need it. Remember: Be a good boy for me."

"Yeah… I... I..." He grunted in response, unable to even finish his thoughts after hearing your words, which were still making his head spin.

You simply smirked, heading towards the door. "Anytime, Daryl. Anytime."

As you walked out of the room, you couldn’t help but feel satisfied as well. Daryl Dixon might be tough as hell, but in that moment, he was completely and totally yours.

TAG-LIST: @itwasntaphasema

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Blood Ties Chapter 32

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Typical TWD violence and gore; Threats of SA; Threats of harming an infant; Distressed baby

Rick had stopped at every sign, letting you out while Carol or Lori cared for Birdie. You had used a tube of the baby’s diaper cream to paint a white bird on each surface. There were likely better things you have used but this one, you knew Daryl would understand and follow. Anxiety was slowly crushing your chest and try as you might to swallow it down, it was nearly impossible to bear.

It was at least an hour of Birdie crying restlessly before the warehouse was found. The dead surrounding it were little in number, easily dispatched by those that weren’t a child, pregnant woman, or one who had a baby suckling at her breast. You carried a bag on each shoulder into the building, wishing it were enough to help you feel like you were doing your part. 

You sat away from the door, knowing that’s where Daryl would have placed you and his daughter, furthest from any entry point. It was also to hinder her cries from attracting anymore walkers. She was inconsolable, something—mother’s intuition, perhaps—telling you that she had been made worse by the absence of her father. And as much as you loved their bond, you wondered how dangerous it could prove to be to encourage it. 

“I said leave it, Lori!”

Your head snapped up to find Rick stalking toward the door with his wife on his heels, her hands below her protruding belly as she attempted to keep up with him. “Rick. Rick, we need to talk this out!”

“No!” He barked. “What we need to do is survive, and we can’t do that if I don’t stay focused.” When she tried again, he turned with a shake of his head, leaving her there with tears in her eyes. 

“Lori.” You whispered, getting to your feet. It was difficult to get off the floor with a baby but you managed. You couldn’t stand to see her like that. No, Lori wasn’t perfect and she made a mistake. She had been alone with a child, acting out of fear once she had been told her husband was dead. Maybe she had loved Shane. Maybe she hadn’t. No one talked about it and perhaps they shouldn’t. It was all irrelevant anyway. Lori was there and pregnant and hurting so deeply. “Hey.”

“Oh. Hey, uh—” The woman turned and wiped at her eyes as if you hadn’t already noticed the glimmer of moisture. “Hey, Y/N.” Her eyes were drawn down to the wriggling bundle in your arms, little squeaks and sniffles escaping from behind the blanket. “How’s little Birdie?”

“She’s fine.” You lied, flinching when the newborn screeched. Taking a moment to move her onto your shoulder and begin patting her back, bouncing on the balls of your feet. “I think she’s missing Daryl.”

“Yeah.” A gentle hand reached to pet the back of Birdie’s head. “Y/N, I’m sorry you had to hear that.” Lori was always so strong for everyone, her thoughts on the decisions that would affect the group never going unspoken. But then, at that moment, she sounded so small, so uncertain. 

“Don’t be.” You caught her hand before she could pull it back, holding it tightly. “I love Rick but he’s wrong. He’s wrong and he’ll realize it. I’m just so sorry that he’s hurting you like this in the meantime.” You stood by your words. Rick was trying to do what was right for the group, but even that was being influenced by the anger he harbored. For Shane. For Lori. For himself. 

“I deserve it. 

You blinked, mouth agape. “You do not!” You shook your head incredulously. “Look, you made a mistake. Doesn’t mean you need to pay for it over and over.” She mimicked you, her hair swinging back and forth. 

“No, I really do.”

“Lori.” You said pointedly. She looked you in the eye, face wet and flushed. “I get it. You were angry with him for what he did to Shane. It was a lot to take in and maybe your first reaction wasn’t the best one, but you’re trying to talk now, trying to understand. He’ll come around.” You gave a shrug. “And if he doesn’t, I’ll sic Daryl on him.” You smiled when she laughed wetly. 

Lori reached for your shoulders, pulling you in for a wide hug that angled to one side, Birdie and her belly making it laughable. “Thank you, Y/N.” She wiped her face with one hand, cupping yours with the other. “You know, I was a fool for thinking you were trouble when Daryl carried you out of those trees. I’m sorry for that.”

You waved dismissively with a quiet pfft. “Don’t worry about it. I am trouble.” Her smile dampened but didn’t disappear. 

“I’m glad you’re here.” Birdie began to root against your neck with a series of coos and squeaks. “And we wouldn’t have this angel if you weren’t.”

Chuckling you began to wiggle your arm out of your shirt, Lori stepping forward to help. “Now if I can just get her daddy to eat as much as she does, we’ll be set.” Before you could situate your bra, the baby began to fuss, growing louder with each cry. 

“Well, she sure sounds like her father.” 

“Facts.” You nodded, grinning and guiding Birdie to your breast. “Grab Carl and come sit with me? We can work on some math.”

The sun had set, the knot in your chest growing tighter with each minute that Daryl didn’t walk through the door. Beth had taken Birdie to give you a few minutes of peace with Carol sitting just behind you. 

“He’ll be here. Daryl’s smart. And so are you for the signs you left for him.” She was brushing your hair, pampering you the only ways she knew how with the limited means at her disposal. 

“I hope he’s okay. What if he’s hurt? What if he ran into the herd?” You were twisting the front of the sweater you had thrown on when the temperature had dropped even lower. 

“He’s smart, Y/N.” You heard the quiet sound of the brush being sat aside. The woman’s hands began to work at your shoulders, eliciting a moan from you and a chuckle from her. “He’ll be here.” You nodded, hearing Birdie begin to cry in the back of the warehouse. 

“I’m being summoned.” You jested. Carol was smiling when you turned around and levered to your feet. Birdie was still crying, the sound echoing like a scene out of a horror movie. “Carol.” Your voice had gone low, serious. “Why isn’t Beth bringing her?”

“She’s likely trying to soothe her on her own. She looks up to you and wants to help.”

Beth looked up to you? Oh, that poor child. You were no one’s role model. 

You listened for a moment more, your brow creasing, lips turning downward in a deep frown. “Carol.” You waited for her reply before continuing. “You remember how you told me that I would be able to tell the difference between cries?”

“Yeah?”

“I think this one is telling me something’s wrong.” Your stomach was churning, the knot of anxiety twisting in your chest was no longer for Daryl but for Birdie, a deep sense of foreboding that your child was affirming. Something. Was. Wrong. 

“Okay. Okay, let’s go check in then.” 

You nodded, feet moving with such haste that it took the other woman a quick jog to catch up. Birdie’s squalling had reached a new level, the breaths between cries barely audible in their stuttering. Without thought, you began to run, your tired body attempting to futilely resist. 

“Beth? Carl?” You shouted, the sounds of snarls and hands slapping the outside of the building growing louder with each inch of space you covered. “Beth!” The girl wasn’t answering. Lori and Maggie frantically called your name from somewhere behind you but Birdie’s desperate wails for her mother easily drowned them out. 

When you saw her, so small and fragile on the cold concrete, little limbs flailing, nothing else mattered. There was no blanket. No knit hat on her head. She was in only a diaper. 

“Oh god, Birdie!” What happened? Where were Beth and Carl? You didn’t stop, you needed your baby in your arms. The reasoning no longer mattered. You needed to ensure her well being before asking any questions. Nearly there, you exhaled. 

“Y/N, look out!” 

Without breaking stride, you turned toward Rick’s voice just in time to see the butt of the rifle. 

And then there was nothing.

Your head was throbbing, your pulse finding its way up to where the wet warmth was leaking from just above your right eyebrow. Struggling to open your eyes, you strained to focus through the rush of blood in your ears, the pounding of dead hands on the building’s exterior, desperately locating your baby’s panicked screeching. 

“Birdie.” You whispered, certain it was slurring. Your mouth just couldn’t form around the syllables. When everything finally cleared, you could see her. The tremble from the cold shook her tiny form. “Oh my god.” You whispered, attempting to struggle to your feet only to find that your hands were bound to a weighty shipping palette. 

Subduing your panic long enough to survey your surroundings, the glow of three kerosene lamps cast a pale yellow luminosity over the entirety of your group—similarly bound—with Rick and Beth struggling against the rope while the other heads remained bowed in a subdued level of unconsciousness. You turned your attention back to your newborn and renewed your fight against the restraints, your skin chafing and breaking open. 

“Mama’s here, baby girl.” Birdie would not be consoled. If anything, she grew more agitated. 

“So you’re the one stupid enough to have a shit-smearing biter magnet.” 

Your head snapped to the left, toward the roll-up doors. A group you hadn’t noticed leaned against the metal, armed to the teeth and reeking of mayhem. 

“The fuck do you want?” You snarled, a protective mother’s venom lacing every word. 

The single woman in the posse laughed, malicious and entertained. “Some fun.” She shrugged, her face split into a grin that made your teeth itch. “That’s really all there is left in this world. Survival and fun.” Lowering her rifle from its perch on her shoulder, she crossed the distance between the two of you and crouched. “We’re gonna take everything you have.” A finger traced your jawline, down your neck and circled your clothed nipple. “Everything.”

“Then we’re gonna let that gremlin bring the biters in to take care of the rest.” One of the men added without so much as a glance away from his handgun, the walkers growing louder as if they could hear and comprehend the promise of a fresh meal. 

Giving your breast a squeeze, the woman stood, scanning your group appreciatively before her eyes lingered on Lori. “Boys, you can take that one. I got no interest in that full belly.” She pointed the barrel of her gun at you. You never so much as flinched, your baby’s wails fueling a rage you’d never before felt. “I want her. And the kids.”

“You’re vile.” Hershel said in that level tone that usually ground on your nerves. In that moment, you found it more than fitting. 

“Ugh,” the female rolled her eyes. “Kill him first. No one wants those wrinkly old balls in their face.”

The words left you before you could even consider their consequences. “You’re gonna die today.” When she smirked at you, your steely glare remained. She lowered to a knee and pressed the muzzle into your chin. You barely contained a wince when your head was forced to tilt back. 

“What I’m gonna do is fuck that ruined pussy with this rifle and listen to your baby scream.”

Twisting onto your left hip, you brought up your right leg, your boot connecting with her temple just as she sat back. “Bitch.” You seethed, watching her topple over. Another man rushed you, his fist snapping your head to the side, reigniting the stars in your vision that you had only just managed to lose. 

“She’s gonna be fun, boys.” Staggering to her feet, she stumbled over to Birdie and pointed the rifle at the infant’s head. “Maybe I’ll just shoot the little one and let your screams bring the biters in when we’re done with you.”

“No!” Your anger faded to fear within a split second, the various voices of your then conscious and collective group pleading for your baby’s life. “Okay, okay. I’ll cooperate!” You bartered. “Just wrap her up. Please.” 

“I don’t think so, mama bear.” 

A noise from the front of the warehouse drew her attention, but not yours. Your wide, wet eyes were glued to that gun aimed at your daughter. Please, Daryl.

“Think the biters got in?” An older guy asked, hocking up mucus and spitting it at your feet. 

“Maybe. Go check it out.”

He obliged with a shrug, whistling the entire way until he disappeared into the darkness. 

The taunting continued, the other three group members moving from person to person, pointing out in disturbingly vivid detail what they liked or disliked about that individual. You paid them no more mind, instead watching the little contorted red face of your baby girl. You couldn’t warm her, comfort her. How could I let this happen?

“What the fuck?” 

Blinking back the fat tears you had given silent permission to fall, you followed everyone’s perplexed gazes toward the front of the warehouse. The old man staggered out of the darkness, a spray of blood his predecessor. His throat was gaping wide. 

“Gary?” The woman hyperventilated, her rifle nearly falling from suddenly inept fingers as his body collapsed to the concrete, not to move again. He must have meant something to her. 

Good. You smiled wryly. 

“Come out!” One of the other men shouted, prompting crazy lady to raise her own weapon. 

Your eyes flickered back to Birdie, yanking and wiggling against your bonds again, the ropes wet with your blood and unyielding. The baby was wearing herself out, cries simmering to shivering breaths and hiccups. The ropes did not give. Bitch could tie a knot, you’d give her that. 

“Oh.” The woman’s voice was suddenly excited as she bounced on the balls of her feet. “I think papa bear’s joined the party.” She made a show of deliberately placing herself just above Birdie, moving her rifle a fraction of an inch before you watched Daryl, blood-saturated and dirty, step out of the shadows.

“Don’t point that thing at ‘er again.” He wasn’t pleading. He was demanding. 

The woman’s eyes sparkled, her free hand covering her mouth in an oopsie expression while she redirected the gun—finger on the trigger—right at you. “Is this better, your majesty?” In a flurry of clicks and shouted warnings, Daryl’s crossbow was aimed at her while all other weapons held him in their crosshairs. 

“M’a give ya one chance to walk outta here.”

She cackled, throwing back her head. “I don’t think you’re—”

“One chance.” Daryl repeated, his mouth unseen from behind his weapon. “Ya’d do well to take it.” There was a tremble to his frame visible even from the distance that lay between you. If you could see it, so could they. The only difference being that you knew it wasn’t from fear. 

“I want him too.” The woman jerked her chin toward your partner. “Put down the bow, pretty boy. You’re not gonna waste any ammo today.”

“Won’t be a waste.” With a quick twist of his torso, three things happened simultaneously: The crossbow fired. The ropes around your wrists went slack, the sleek length of the bolt pressing just against your skin. And Daryl stepped back into the shadows, a barrage of bullets following his retreat. 

With the enemies’ attention on the unknown whereabouts of the archer, you scrambled across the floor and scooped up your baby, throwing yourself backward onto your ass to slide behind the pallets that had held you. Her skin was so chilled, her tiny frame shivering as her distressed cries renewed in their intensity. 

“Mama’s got you, baby. Daddy’s here. Daddy came for us. It’s okay.” One arm at a time, you managed to pull yourself free of your sweater and bundled her up. You drew up your knees and held her close to your chest, shielding and warming her simultaneously. “They won’t touch you again.” 

Glass shattered, the area dimming as a bolt destroyed one of the old lamps. 

“Come out, you bastard!” 

Another lamp fell victim to Daryl’s aim. 

“Where is he?”

With a final sound that echoed for more than a moment, the environment was cast into darkness with only the myriad of gunfire battling the shadows that Daryl was using to his advantage. With each discharge, you curled tighter around your daughter, her howls splintering every inch of your heart. You longed to hold her properly, soothe her, fight away the fear that clawed relentlessly to sink its claws into such a space of innocence. You wanted to join the fray, rip out their throats, but Birdie needed you exactly where you were.

And she would always come first.

The number of weapons that fired continued to dwindle, the cling of metal against the concrete preceded by a shout or gurgle. 

Your archer was taking them down one by one. 

You wanted to see it, wanted to witness them suffer, even if it was for a mere moment but you couldn’t—wouldn’t—risk Birdie’s safety. 

“Someone get him!”

“Where the hell  is he?!”

“The fuck should I—” Another gurgle, another thud. 

“Fuck!” The woman screamed, her voice carrying from somewhere further away. You couldn’t be certain if Daryl had intercepted her or if she was simply fleeing, but as long as she was far away from your group—your family—you didn’t care. 

“Y/N.” Carol’s voice somehow managed to break through the chaos in your head, your eyes searching her out in the darkness. “Y/N, he got them. Can you—” 

“Yeah.” You breathed shakily, unfurling from around Birdie to shuffle blindly forward, bowed over the little bundle to ensure you didn’t knock her into anything that might be in your way. “Yeah, I’m coming.” 

You found Rick first, cutting his ropes one-handed with a piece of glass from one of the lamps. Lucky you, it had been found by sliding your knee over it. 

“Take care of her, I’ll get everyone else.” He instructed. You nodded, knowing the deputy couldn’t see but it was all you had in you at that moment. 

“Where’s Daryl?” Beth asked, her young mind falling right into sync with yours. 

Why hadn’t he come to you immediately? Was he hurt? Had he given chase to the woman? 

You squinted against the flashlight’s beam, one eye clenching shut as you found Carol kneeling over one of the men, a bolt lodged in the right side of his neck. His head was at an odd angle, suggesting that the puncture had not been the end for him. 

With your family surrounding you, all eyes wide and cautious, looking for danger, watching for Daryl, you finally settled but only in the slightest. Muscles still tense, you shifted Birdie, drawing up your knees to place her on your elevated thighs. 

“Hey, there, little Dixon. Ssh, it’s all okay now.” Slipping a hand beneath the sweater, the relief of feeling warming skin nearly brought you to collapse. 

“How is she doing?” Hershel asked, his voice elevated to be heard clearly over the distraught infant. Your strength was nearly at its end. 

“She’s cold, Hershel. It—the sweater’s helping but she’s still so cold.” Your fingers were stroking her cheeks, brushing through wispy blonde hair, rubbing her belly over the sweater while careful of the drying umbilical cord. 

“Babies are resilient, Y/N. And this little doll just happens to have the genes of one of the most stubborn men I have had the pleasure of knowing.” A gentle hand rested on your shoulder. “I’d like to take a look at her all the same. May I?”

With a sniffle, you lifted Birdie, her tiny head just beneath your chin. One last gentle squeeze, you supported her head and passed her over to the veterinarian, scrubbing your hands over your face as you stood. You must have looked a wreck, but you needed to find Daryl, needed to hold him almost as desperately as you had needed to cling to your child. 

“Please! Just let me go!”

You spun where you stood, searching out the woman. “Daryl?”

“Were ya gonna let them go?” Daryl’s voice was menacing, his tone low and bleeding with promise of maleficence. You were acutely aware of others trailing as you followed the voices, moving boxes and stepping around tools to climb the stairs to the second level.  

“I—”

“Mm-mm. Don’t.” He spat, the sound of more containers falling over against the wall. “Don’t bother.” 

He came into view a little at a time, more with each step you climbed. His crossbow was on the floor. His crimson hands were empty. Still, the woman cowered, backing toward the windows with her body folded, palms up over her head in surrender. 

“Daryl!” You tried, but he didn’t acknowledge you. 

“Just let me go. I’m the only one left and I—Please, I don’t wanna die.”

Suddenly your feet wouldn’t carry you, heavy laden and stuck to the floor with the weight of your disbelief. You wanted to laugh just as much as you wanted to pluck the knife strapped to Daryl’s hip and slit her throat yourself. 

“Ya threatened my girl. Ya wanted to use my daughter as walker bait!” The archer hissed, his fingers flexing in and out of fists. “A fuckin’ baby an’ ya wanted to kill ‘er.”

You could hear the others at the top of the stairs, halting just behind you with the same interest of watching the scene play out, trusting Daryl to do what was right. 

But what was right?

“Ain’t gonna kill ya.” He finally said, tilting his head as the woman began to stand straight, the fear dissolving before your eyes. Daryl was a better person than you could ever be. If he walked away, it was going to take every single individual on that landing to restrain you. 

“Thank you. I’m so sorry. Thank you. I’ll disappear, I’ll change. I won’t—”

He moved so fast, grabbing her shoulders while driving the sole of his boot straight into her knee, the sickening snap of bone causing your stomach to roll while a sense of vindication washed over you. 

She needed to hurt. She needed to suffer.

Her screams stimulated the walkers around the building, their rotten fingers scraping against the metal, palms pounding, teeth gnashing. 

Daryl spoke loudly, holding her up by fistfuls of her shirt, his face inches from hers. “Said I ain’t gonna kill ya. Never said ya weren’t gonna die.” He shoved her, his boot once again connecting with her body, a kick to the abdomen with enough force to send her soaring backward. She crashed through the window, nothing but the splintered wood and shards of glass accompanying her to the ground.

Straight into the herd of ravenous undead. 

And her blood curdling wails of agony were music to your ears. 

[grimesgirll]

“wouldn’t kill ya’ to smile, wouldn’t it, baby?”

your gaze goes upward from the fire you’re building to the man standing before you.

“fuck is there to smile about?” you quip quietly, pursing your lips and turning your attention back to the task at hand.

you should’ve known that would set off your ex boyfriend. the boyfriend who should really be your ex right now. you feel him behind you and eventually in front of you when he leans down to gently grasp your face. shane tilts your chin upwards in his hand while you simply glare.

“been gettin’ real tired of your attitude.”

“makes two of us.”

something in his eyes clouds and you can nearly see the frustration bubbling beneath his surface. “you know you could really have it worse somewhere else, girl.” he lets go of your chin. “you should be happy to be here and not out there alone.”

you can’t argue with him. after these past few weeks, you’d endure whatever macho act he manufactured just to make it to safety. anything at this point to get to richmond. wherever noah’s family was posted up had to be better than cannibal country or cop city.

playing the role of shane’s personal diplomat is exhausting but it’s kept conflict from escalating more than once. without you, he would’ve for sure gotten himself killed by now. it goes both ways as you can count on more than one hand the number of times he’s saved your life.

“we had a home. we’re gonna find a new one. until then you better be thankful to have someone looking out for you.” the man explains to you. “someone takin’ care of you.”

you snort. “you should be happy i let you fuck me.”

your boyfriend’s nostrils flare. “wanna repeat that?”

you don’t spare him a glance. “be happy i haven’t left you already. if it wasn’t the fucking end of times, our relationship would be toast.” you say that like it isn’t already.

but you didn’t leave him. how could you with the world falling apart around you?

and with your newfound sense of responsibility to lori and carl, staying with shane made the most sense. why not keep trying with someone who held you at night and fought tooth and nail to protect you.

that isn’t everything though.

he narrows his eyes at you. “wouldn’t be a problem if you weren’t always findin’ one.”

“you fucking lori was a problem that i found?”

he throws his hands up. “why the fuck do you keep mentionin’ lori? that’s fucked,” he scolds your name. “that’s my daughter’s mother.”

“i’m not blaming her, i’m blaming you.” you discern. “you’ve been an asshole ever since everything happened.”

“c’mere.” shane pulls you to your feet and drags you away from the fire, leaving the task to sasha who’d been sitting nearby. shane has you on your feet and moving towards the back of the rest stop your group was posted up l in. “let’s take a walk.”

“shane! i’m about to make dinner over the fire,” you complain and pull back your arm but shane just wraps you in his embrace and wills you towards the grassy picnic area facing the forest.

“c’mon, one step at a time, baby. don’t make me carry you.”

“fucker.”

“watch it,” shane warns and steers you towards a dusty wooden gazebo where rick is standing with a radio, trying to get a signal from the looks of it.

“any luck?” shane calls out like he didn’t just forcibly walk you from the fire circle out here.

the bearded man turns around. he doesn’t have to shake his head or give you two a word to answer his friend’s question. an icy blue stare goes over you and shane.

“what’s going on?”

“oh, we just thought we’d see what you were up to. see if you were busy.” the ex-cop with his arms wrapped around you from behind declares.

rick drops his radio into his back pocket. “‘m not.”

“perfect. this one wants to thank you.”

rick’s dark brow goes up in question and you shake your head, asking, “huh?”

“what? you don’t wanna thank rick? don’t be rude, baby.”

you owe the man your life a million times over.

rick had saved you, shane, judith, carl, and the others so many times. he’d led you through the debilitating winters and the most nightmare inducing storms you could imagine facing in the end of times. metaphorical or not, rick had seen you all through more than you’d ever pay him back for.

the man who stayed up with you while you settled judith and helped you soothe the little girl who didn’t belong to either of you.

the rugged man looks on from shane to you not quite comprehending. it only takes the feel of shane’s hand on your ass to understand.

fuck. not now, shane, you plead internally.

“i want you to show our friend rick how grateful you are that he’s gotten us this far. huh?” shane places a steel hand on your back as he shoves you forward towards rick, nudging you onto your knees when you’re dawdling too much for him to tolerate. “go on.”

“shane.” the man above you warns.

“no, rick.” your boyfriend stops him, dark irises widening. “i see the way she looks at you and the way you look at her. don’t feel bad about it.” he chuckles. “think about it as payback for lori.”

a “what the fuck” is breaching your lips before you know it.

“why do you talk to her like that?” rick questions, chest puffing out slightly. “everything she’s stood you through.”

shane shrugs. “i’m just thinkin’ it’d help us all relax. lower tension, y’know. after we were almost slaughtered like cattle back there.”

your mind flashes to terminus. you hadn’t seen rick, shane, and some of the other men of your group tied up and prepared to have their throats slashed, but the scene made your stomach flip.

rick looks down at you, maybe considering the fact that he does have a lot of steam to let off. nearly a year’s worth to be honest.

“you been thinkin’ about me?” he inquires with a step closer to you, dipping his hand to cup your face.

beneath your leader, you feel small. ten feet tall, you’d feel insignificant compared to rick. that man has more guts and drive than you could ever admit to. more than shane could ever dream of. the thought scratches an itch you didn’t realize lay dormant.

“yes,” you exhale sweetly, almost giving away your giggle when shane has to pick up his jaw. “especially ever since the prison fell.”

“really?”

you nod. “thank you, rick.” you express your gratitude with parted lips. “you take such good care of all of us. if you really want to use my mouth, i would blow you.”

shane is stuttering a curse and rick just whistles.

“good girl,” shane praises. “never knew you had it in you.”

you wait on your knees for rick, beaming up at him.

rick has the look of a man considering letting his best friend’s girlfriend - who he has at least fifteen years on - blow him. he thumbs your soft lips, trying to convince himself not to. even under that newly acquired hardened exterior, rick is calculated.

it’s not until he lowers his hands at his sides and croons a, “only if you want to, darlin,” that has you undoing his belt and yanking down his pants.

you slow your roll once you come into contact with his underwear. beneath those dark blue boxers is a rock hard cock.

a noise escapes you that you hope your boyfriend doesn’t hear. rick is bigger than shane. you want to burst into laughter. shane had to have seen the outline of rick’s thick cock sometime during their years together in some locker room somewhere.

thoughts of if he’ll fit or not consume you momentarily until your hands are moving automatically and you’re met with the real thing. you feel hands in your hair and tense.

“down and up. you know how to do it.”

shane is behind you with his sturdy hands on top of your head, ready to guide you down onto his friend.

“just let her do what she wants.” rick snaps at the other man, exhaling at the feel of your hand around him.

“fine.” shane throws his hands up and goes to lean against the rest stop information board.

ever the sore loser, shane pouts but lets you sink further on your knees to begin by trailing a stripe from rick’s balls up to the tip of his cock. back down you go again to lick circles around him, working a pattern with your tongue.

the noises coming out of rick have you agreeing with shane - he really needs this. after everything, rick deserves to close his eyes and let you descend below his shaft to suckle first one side, then the other, while he lays his hands in your lustrous hair.

eventually you’re lapping around again and you circle your tongue around him, eyes widening in surprise at his moans.

shane snickers. “you like her mouth, rick? me too. don’t blow your load too early, bud, i know you probably can’t help it.”

you feel the man in your mouth tense above you. he ignores shane, snapping his hips lightly into your face instead. despite the initial humiliation of the situation and the shane of it all, you find yourself getting excited. a wet patch forms and you can tell by how hard you grind down onto yourself as rick starts to twitch.

“needy slut,” shane comments.

you roll your eyes, not missing a beat as you bob up and down on your leader. his spit covered dick disappears in and out of your mouth. you do your best to fit what you can of his length that is too large for your mouth.

rick doesn’t have a problem though. all he needs is to dig a little deeper in your hair and angle his cock down your throat. you’re so startled you gag but at the same time you moan and whimper around him.

a cry around him from a particularly harsh jostle of his pelvis against your face is what it takes to start spilling in your mouth. your foggy brain can barely decipher what to do next but you remember that you’re wearing one of your favorite sweaters and suck him dry.

rick isn’t out of your mouth when shane is nearly shoving him out of the way and grasping onto you, directing your head towards his now nude dick.

“my turn,” shane takes rick’s spot instantly, not sparing you more than a breath or two before his girthy cock is against your lips.

“that’s not good for her knees, man.” rick is saying but shane just laughs.

“you weren’t sayin’ that when you were in the one in her mouth.”

shane is taking up your mouth before you know it and you gag immediately when he drives like he’s aiming for your uvula.

your noises muffle around his cock but the sheriff looking on still hears them - is still affected by then. every pump of his fellow ex-officer’s hips made you gag, forced to swallow the burning feeling building up in your throat.

rick can’t take his eyes off you. after receiving the same treatment, he’s still mesmerized by the whole thing; the spontaneity of it, how absurd it all was, how soft and plush your mouth had been, how perfect you are.

“never knew you were such a whore,” shane groans with a gasp of your name, pushing your head down when you start to slide up and off of him to say something. “fuck, you’re so good for me, baby, always have been.”

his grip is buried in your long hair. rick observes with his half hard cock in his hand, eyebrow arching lightly at the sight of shane’s face. your boyfriend tightens his grip and before you know it his cock is thrust into your throat. a few more slams of his hips and he’s holding you firmly while you gulp down his length - and his release.

shane backs out of your mouth only to snake a rough hand down your pants.

“shane!” you’re nearly squealing when he thumbs down your panties and moves towards your sensitive patch of nerves. your face is overtaken with a blush again as your leader palms his hard on on the bench next to you.

whispering low in your ear, your boyfriend hums;

“now, you wanna show rick how grateful you are with your pussy?”

[itsgrimeytime]

he's such a pretty liar || Rick Grimes (TWD) × gn!reader

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker @zomb-1-egutzz @deadgirlrin

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Dialogue Prompts: 8 + 2

Inspiration: my boy by Billie Eilish

Summary: You and Rick had gotten along at some point, at the farm and prison. You were friends even. Until the Governor killed Hershel, which you believed to be perfectly preventable. Because of his inaction then, you'd gotten a bitter taste in your mouth at the thought of him and eventually, he started to reciprocate the behavior. But as time passes, and you experience more and more with him, is it really hate that you feel?

TWs: enemies to lovers (like fr though), yelling, mentions of death (Shane, Lori, Beth, and Hershel), mention of the Claimers scene, cursing, anger, nosebleed, bruising, love confessions, injuries, blood, and all things TWD.

[[A/N: This is based on Carl being mad at Rick after the prison. Rick do be stressed out, and he do be saying some terrible stuff, but like so are you. This gif is so 🫣💞🤭💞🤪. Anyway, enjoy :))) ]]

You weren't a bad person, and in that regard, you wouldn't say Rick was either. Honestly, you respected him as a leader -you just didn't agree with all his choices. That's where it all started, after all, isn't it?

You'd seen what a wrong choice could do, you'd watched Hershel die right in front of your eyes. You'd seen it all.

And, sure, maybe you were grieving a little but you still largely disagreed with Rick's actions on the matter. It was preventable.

It started there, and only really got worse. It was like once you identified one flaw, suddenly you were second-guessing his every move. The two of you couldn't be in a room without arguing, couldn't be put on shifts together, nothing. Daryl, for one, wouldn't let you be alone together at all. And if it wasn't him, it was someone else.

"Rick, seriously," you spoke once, almost sternly, "-that can't be your decision."

"Why?" he responded -pointed and short, "-Ya got a better idea? Go right fuckin' ahead."

You knew that since the prison, Rick had been strung thin. You knew that he had been harder on himself than you could ever be about Hershel. But, you still were angry. Sometimes, sometimes it felt like maybe he was just a target for everything that you'd been through. And you were trying to change your behavior, change your ways.

You'd known him for so long, and you were going to be stuck with him. The group, even though the two of you weren't on the best terms, was like family to you.

And then, it started getting personal.

This argument stemmed from something small, trivial, you can't even remember it now. Maybe a decision on a run? You can't-

"Ya act like ya ain't made mistakes of your own," he added, "-all high and damn mighty-"

"When did I say that?" You interrupted, more cold than anything, "-You're putting words in my mouth, Grimes."

"-Because I seem to remember ya tellin' me about your family," he continued, not even pausing to listen to you.

You stilled in place.

"Rick," you warned (voice slightly shaking), "-don't... don't go there."

Your family. At the beginning of all this, you'd froze -scared. Watched one of them get bitten, and then everyone just followed after -not willing to grieve. You regretted not being quicker, not being more aware, but you weren't used to it. You weren't-

"Ya fucked up," Rick continued, as if he wasn't bringing up what he was, "-We all do, why do you-"

"No, no," you shook your head, voice shaking, "-Rick, that is not fair. You can't bring up my family-"

You had hated yourself for that, hated yourself. Still did. You would never forgive yourself for not saving them, even though you really didn't have an idea how to then, you should have-

God, he was bringing this up? Really?

"-over a goddamn run strategy."

"Well, you pick apart every damn thing I do," he retorted, "-'Thought I'd do the same for once."

"Oh, fuck you, Rick," you seethed, tears burning the backs of your eyes, "-you want me to poke at your wounds? Talk about who you could've saved?"

He pursed his lips, and you saw something flash through his eyes (they were trailing the now shake of your hands) that looked a little like regret. Like maybe he was understanding what he said. You felt like your skin was on fire.

"Do you want me to start from the beginning?" You tsked, a fire burning in your chest, "-Shane? Or maybe Lori? Beth? Hershel-"

"Stop," he stated, quieter than before.

"-Why, Rick?" you hissed, and you felt the tears now, "-Is this not what we're talking about? Oh, do you not want me to bring that up? Over a run?"

"I get it," he spoke, softer, and something in you sharpened, "-I get it, Y/N."

"Do you?" you responded, frustrated and just... angry, "-Do you, Rick?"

"I shouldn't 'ave-"

"Can it," you interrupted -short, "-Let's just get the fucking supplies and go."

Rick frowned, blue eyes far more emotive (all you could see was regret and pity), "Y/N, I didn't-"

"You didn't what?" You countered, and your voice was cracking, "-You didn't mean to bring up the fact that I watched my family die, right in front of me? Do you think that I don't hate myself every day for not doing anything then?"

Rick didn't say a word.

"-Hate to break it to you, sheriff, but I fucking do."

"Y/N..." he trailed off, blue eyes much calmer, the rage from before dissipating out of his voice.

"No, just-" you cleared your throat, wiping mindlessly at your frustratingly red eyes, "-Let's get this shit done and leave."

From then on, it had been much deeper.

You couldn't stand him, you hadn't been alone with him since. He made your skin crawl and your mind flare up in anger, and sometimes, just sometimes, it would shake your respect for him. Because you did have some, you probably wouldn't even be here, if you didn't.

The funny thing about it all was that you were close to Carl, very close to him. At the prison, after Lori's death, you'd nearly been inseparable. It was kind of like a parent relationship, but at the same time a little like a friend. It made you want to reconcile sometimes, but all you and Rick did was clash.

So much that you started to wonder what a normal conversation was like with him.

And then, you had the run-in with the Claimers.

God, what they'd threatened to do to Carl? You personally would've snapped their spine yourself if you had the chance. But what Rick had done? You couldn't imagine it yourself.

But you knew that he did what he had to. And some part of you wanted to tell him that, despite... despite all of your problems, you knew he needed it.

It was late that night when you decided to talk to him. It was just the two of you awake. You, on purpose, and you just knew Rick would be. Doing that was probably still rattling through his skull, he probably couldn't even close his eyes without-

Your steps were slow and careful, trying not to startle him -he just seemed to be staring. Endlessly staring, and just pacing. Despite it all, you felt something in your chest swirl with worry.

"Rick?" you spoke, gently. Even still, you saw his whole body tense up.

"Please," he muttered, voice low and gravelly -blue eyes heavy on you, "-I don't need your shit right now. I kno' 'at I did somethin' bad, really damn bad. But I just can't deal wit' ya-"

"No, Rick," you interrupted, "-that's not why I'm... That's not what I want to say."

"What do ya want to say, then?"

"You made the right decision," you responded, tone sturdy and unmoving, "-you... you did what you had to."

Rick stilled, something flickering through his face -a flutter of emotions.

"I know, we aren't on the best terms, but-" you rolled your lip around your teeth, "-you're not a monster, Rick."

The silence was loud then, as his blue eyes skimmed over you -carefully. Maybe like he was seeing a new you, or maybe an old one he'd forgotten about. One you'd forgotten about.

"Trust me, I know it feels like it," you added (mind flashing with what you'd done over the years), "-but you did what you had to. You saved your son, and that's all that matters."

He didn't say anything for a moment, trying to process your words. And if you really looked, you might've seen his eyes fogging up a little and the slight drop of tension in his shoulders. A little like he was waiting for someone to tell him that.

And then, he replied, "Thank ya."

You pursed your lips a moment, fidgeting with your hands. You weren't sure what else to say. This was all so new. With a succinct nod, you moved to spin on your heel and lay down for the night.

"Wait," he called, and you turned back to him -eyes inquisitive.

There was a beat.

"-'At day, on the run," he continued, slow and regretful, "-I'm... I'm sorry. I never should 'ave said somethin' like 'at. I never should 'ave brought it up at all. 'Wasn't right of me to."

"Thanks, Rick," you responded, brief but genuine, grateful. You could tell he understood.

Before you could fully turn around though, he added -softer, with something you couldn't quite name, "Goodnight, Y/N."

There was a pleasant hum in your mind at the way he said your name, but you shoved it away. You'd locked all of that far away, a long time ago.

"Night, Grimes," you chimed back, lighter in tone.

He smiled at you then, and something in you gleamed a little from it. Not that you would ever say it out loud.

There was something different after that, a sort of trust or respect. Or maybe something else, you didn't really know. It was there, though.

When you found Alexandria, things shifted a little. Mostly because it was your group against another one, you and Rick were profoundly on the same side. That being said, you still clashed. You weren't sure if it was just the authority of it all, or what? (It might've had a little to do with a blonde wife that he was spending some time with, but you'd never say that out loud.)

"You're seriously not going to let me lead the run?"

"I got Daryl on it," he responded, eyes solely sat on you.

"He's been on all the runs lately," you continued, trying to explain your case, "-Shouldn't this shit be evenly distributed? Have you even talked to Daryl about what he wants? Or are you just assigning us like it's some dictatorship-"

"'Course I damn talked to 'im," he snapped back, and you could see something tired in his eyes, "-everybody gets a say in what 'ey're doin', ya know 'at."

"Except for me," you contradicted, "-you keep giving me the same fucking chores, when I'm useful in other places-"

And he was, he kept you in Alexandria -washing clothes, making dinner, keeping an eye on the people. He made you some kind of mediator between Deanna's people and your own. But you were useful, you shouldn't be locked inside like you couldn't handle yourself. Because you could, and you had before.

"-You know, I scavenged for months before I met you, right? I was alone, and I figured it out."

"I know 'at," he confirmed, pinching the bridge of his nose. You could nearly see the stress radiating off him, but you couldn't stop, not then.

"So, so what-" you asked, "-you don't trust me? You don't think I can do it?"

Rick sighed, big and loud -fully facing you, "It ain't 'at, Y/N. I know ya can handle yourself, I've seen it."

"Then, what is the problem, Grimes? I don't get it-"

"Just take the goddamn next run," he groaned, something in his tone broken (and something a little like guilt curled up in your stomach), "-I'll tell Daryl he's switchin'."

You stopped in place, words faltering off your lips. Your will and the fire in your gut extinguished, you suddenly felt very out of place, and a little like the bad guy. You knew you weren't though, but he just looked so tired-

"Okay," you finally responded, a little dumbfounded, "-thanks."

He nodded in your direction and didn't say a word. You took it as a motion to move along, so you did.

Apparently, he might've had a good reason to worry.

It wasn't that first run, or even the second or third, it was the fourth after that conversation that you were stupid. Well, it really wasn't your fault. You thought someone had your back, and they didn't; so, one of the walkers had clawed pretty deep into your arm.

It was bleeding a lot (maybe too much) and probably needed stitches, but you didn't worry about it. Denise could handle it, and you, as a community, were pretty good on medical supplies at this point.

What you didn't expect, was after Denise patched you up for one Rick Grimes to be on your ass.

You were still sitting in her doctor's space (you had no idea what to call it) then, silently trailing your fingers over the bandaging. You could already see some of the blood through the white of it. It made you a little nervous, you won't lie.

And then, the door swung open.

At first, you nearly grabbed for the knife you hid on you -alarmed, assuming it was someone coming to hurt you. Instead, you were met with one Rick Grimes -his face was all scrunched up in that way he always got when he was frustrated.

If there was one thing you could recognize, it was that.

"Rick?" you questioned -carefully, a little shocked by him bursting into the room. Did you do something to him recently?

"'At's why ya can't go on fuckin' runs," he grumbled out -suddenly so angry, it made your head spin.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "What?"

"You're always makin' damn bad decisions," he continued, and something in you bristled. Your defenses were up in an instant.

"What the fuck, Rick?" you countered, "-You don't even know what happened, how the hell do you know it's on me?"

"You're injured," he clarified, a little like he was talking to himself, "-ya made a stupid mistake-"

"How the hell do you know that?" you hissed, "-Do you just think everything that goes wrong has to be my fucking fault, Grimes?"

"-and you're damn hurt."

There was something there in his tone, something different. Your frustration twisted into a little bit of curiosity. What was that?

"I can’t leave ya alone for one second without ya hurting yourself, can I?" He started up again, and it was there again, angry but also... but also-

Your eyes swam over him, and you recognized it then, worry. He was worried about you, you felt something in you stall. It was so different from what you knew from him-

"I mean," you responded, a little awkwardly -unsure (since when did he care so much?), "-I’m fine so it’s okay-"

"No, it’s not okay," he suddenly shot his eyes to you, blue eyes heavy with worry (so much, it shot to your core), "-Not when I feel like I’m goin' to go batshit fuckin' crazy, thinkin' you’ve hurt yourself."

It was silent for a moment, as your mind processed the words. Skimming along his face, as he seemed to do the same -frustration dissipating along his features.

That... That was new.

"It's just some scratches," you spoke -a little lost, you weren't sure exactly what to say. He cared about you that much? Thought about you that much?

Rick's eyes darted to the bandages, which were just about as dark as before -which was just a little, the stitches seemed to stop it mostly. Something in him relaxed, you could tell in his shoulders -the drop of the tension. You couldn't believe that was because of you. When-

"Ya had to get stitches, yeah?" He spoke, suddenly and a bit awkwardly too (like he wasn't sure what to do).

"I did," you confirmed, just looking and something in you felt like you needed to tell him more, so you did, "-Uh, five in one, and three in the other."

He pursed his lips (like he was debating something), before shattering out a breath, "Can I see it?"

"It's already wrapped up," you responded, blankly -you were running a little on autopilot, "-She already-"

"Denise can rewrap it," he offered, stepping closer. Something in your stomach stirred.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "You want to waste medical supplies, just so you can see my wound?"

Rick's lips pressed into a thin line, something in him firing back up, "I'll replace the supplies my damn self, if I 'ave to, just let me see."

You couldn't really say anything, it felt like all the words had washed from your head. Like you couldn't speak if your life was on the line.

He faltered a second, sighing, and his eyes shifted to something softer (a little like pleading), "I... I need to see if ya are alright."

You felt like you were stone -frozen.

"Please."

Your heart lept into your throat (and you let your mind drift somewhere you'd never let it before), "Yeah, okay."

That started the shift.

And he started checking over you after every run, you thought it would've been annoying but... you got used to it. And something in you liked helping him calm down, although you'd never say it out loud.

Things were a little different. You clashed but it wasn't as fiery anymore. Because you knew he cared about you, and somewhere you could acknowledge you cared about him. (More than you'd ever admit.)

This time it wasn't even Rick you were arguing with. It was someone originally from Alexandria. You couldn't even remember their name, but they'd said something about you and you let it slide. But then, they kept going.

"You made a shit call," the guy remarked, sauntering up to your side.

You were a little startled, but you stayed composed, "What are you talking about?"

"We could've gotten more supplies," he continued, "-that gun store was right there, and you called the whole fucking thing off."

You soured -something steeling in your gut, "You mean the one that was swarmed? Hate to break it to you, but we were outnumbered."

"We could've done it," he added -persistent, something frustrated in his tone, "-we had the manpower."

"Are you serious?" you laughed a little incredulously, "-There were three of us, and about 30, 40 maybe, walkers. That is-"

"Maybe you couldn't have done it," he tsked, lips falling in a flat line.

You flexed your jaw, trying to stay composed, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You're a sorry fucking excuse for a lead," he gritted through his teeth, "-You don't know shit about-"

"Next time, just go right ahead and do it yourself then," you shot back but stayed still in your space (composed, composed, composed), "-and I don't know about you, but I value life more than something we already fucking have-"

"It's ammunition," he seethed, stepping much closer to you -something sparking behind his eyes, "-Don't know if you fucking know this, but it's pretty damn important to survival-"

"No," you disagreed, voice calm and collected, "-it's not. You don't need to walk into a situation that you can't handle-"

Without warning, a fist flew at your face -right at the nose.

"Shit," you hissed, and you felt the thrum of pain under your skin and could almost immediately taste the coppery taste of blood, "-What the fuck? Why did you-"

"What the hell is goin' on 'ere?"

It was Rick, and his tone was something you'd only heard a few times -blue eyes flickering over you. They held onto your, now bleeding, nose which you were now trying to soothe, and something in his jaw tightened.

The guy was the first one to speak, mostly because you were trying to stop the bleeding. Luckily, Maggie rushed up to your side with paper towels -doing her best to help too.

"They made a mistake on the run-"

Rick didn't let him get far, "So, you punched 'em in the damn face?"

"Well," the guy fell quieter, "-we were arguing-"

Maggie snapped back, shifting her focus for a moment, "You were arguin'."

"No-"

"They were just trying to talk some sense into ya," she continued, tone cold, "-You were the one who took it personally-"

Rick put a hand on her shoulder, eyes flickering toward you -something swimming through them that you recognized from a different day, and Maggie took the notion to stop talking. She turned back to you, and gently guided you to tilt your head forward. On instinct, you pinched your nostrils shut -breathing out of your mouth.

"Even if it was a fuckin' argument," Rick tsked, something cold in his tone, "-there's no damn reason to do 'at. They weren't gettin' violent with ya-"

"How do you know that?"

"Because I kno' 'em," he retorted, "-an' if 'ey got their hands on ya, you wouldn't be standin' in front of me."

You laughed a little and could feel his eyes shoot to you for a second. It made something in your chest flutter, something you were trying desperately to ignore.

"We need to get ya some ice," Maggie spoke, mostly to herself, "-It's already bruisin' up pretty bad."

"'S leave 'is for another day," Rick seemed to exit the conversation with the man, tone unshakable, "-but if I 'ear anythin' else from ya, 'ere's gonna be a problem. Ya got 'at?"

You could almost visually see the way Rick shifted as he made his way over to you. Composure slipping into something more worried, eyebrows furrowing and eyes shining in an entirely different way. Like he couldn't help it, his hands frantically found themselves along your shoulders. It made your skin buzz a little, and made you feel a little woozy. Well, you guessed there could be more than one reason for that.

On that note, you stumbled in place a little, and Rick's hands immediately slid to your sides -stabilizing you. Your heart skipped a beat, stupid fucking handsome men with big fucking hands.

"'Ey, can ya bring a chair over 'ere, please?"

Before you could so much as blink, he was pushing you into it -gently, mind you. Ever-so-gently. And almost on instinct, he fell onto one knee in front of you, trying to hold your eye contact with your head slightly forward, you guessed. His eyes were the same as that day, but there was something else there too, something fuzzier.

"Maggie, ya go get the ice," he turned to her, "-I'll stay with 'em."

She seemed to scamper off because you could tell it was just the two of you. Maybe he'd warded off everyone else, Rick had this... aura to him when he wanted to -a dangerous one. Sometimes you thought it was to balance out his natural nature as a leader.

Quietly, you heard Rick tear off another paper towel and gently wipe at your mouth (where you imagined blood was staining at this point). It was strangely intimate, as you just skimmed over his face.

He was entirely focused on the task, so your eyes roamed along the creases along his face, the blue of his eyes, the sharp line of his nose, the little curls that peeked behind his ears-

You blinked, clearing your thoughts. He was always handsome, you knew that.

"What even is that dick's name?" you questioned, testing to see if your nose had stopped bleeding as much. It had.

Rick smiled a little, looking up at your eyes from where he was focused before (he seemed to be done), "I 'ave no fuckin' clue."

You laughed at that, and if you were honest with yourself thought you saw something shoot through his eyes. Something warm. You ignored it.

"'S hurt?" he spoke, softer.

You responded, simply, "I've had worse."

Rick smiled a little at that, but fell into something more serious, "So, yeah?"

"Like a bitch," you admitted, and he let out a low sort of chuckle.

It made something in you relax, something warm lighting up in your chest. You let yourself feel it this time, just once.

"Just so ya know," he interrupted your thought process, "-'at ain't happenin' again."

You frowned, furrowing your eyebrows -warmth dissipating, "Are you- Are you chastising me right now?"

"No," he quickly responded, but didn't explain further, "-'M just tellin' ya I ain't lettin' it happen again."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Rick paused a second, ripping another paper towel off and dabbing at your nose. It was probably still bleeding a little bit.

You just watched him, waiting for an explanation. Even though, you weren't entirely sure he was going to give you one.

"Anyone touches ya, says anythin' to ya, so much as looks at ya the wrong way-" he listed, tone deadly serious (it shook through your skull), "-ya come get me, and I’ll set 'em straight. Understand?"

Your mouth moved before you could stop it, "What?"

"I'll handle it," he repeated, pulling away the paper towel and locking eyes with yours, "-It ain't happenin' again."

"Rick," you laughed -incredulously, and maybe a little defensive, "-I don't need a fucking guard dog. I can handle myself."

"'Didn’t say 'at," he hummed, carefully, eyes skimming along your face -a little like he was in wonder (it made your head spin a second), "-'S for me, not ya."

"How does that-"

"If 'ey're fuckin' with ya, 'ey're fuckin' with me," he interrupted, eyes so solid that you couldn't really look away, "-you can handle it how ya want, but Imma 'ave some choice words of my own. So, send 'em my way too."

The words faltered in your throat, something swirling around your heart. He was just so-

The coppery taste again.

You shriveled up your nose in disgust, and Rick laughed at it (something gleaming in his eye), as you reacted -spitting the taste out into the dirt.

"Yeah, keep laughing, Grimes," you tsked, but there was no bite, not really. Not like there used to be, "-I'll beat the shit out of you."

"'Ere's no doubt in my mind," he retorted back, smiling in a way that crinkled at the eyes. You thought for a spare second it was a beautiful one, that maybe he was beautiful.

After that day, you'd say that everything was a little confusing.

These feelings towards Rick were far from new, very far. They'd always kind of been in the very back of your mind. Part of you was actually pretty sure that hating him had in some way distanced you from what you felt otherwise. Now, that is to say, you had definitely hated him at one point. That just didn't mean that it erased the... other thing.

You and Rick were off-kilter. Or at least you were. You guessed you couldn't say anything about him, he was very much a mystery to you at this point.

He just kept doing things. Like the scratch and nosebleed. And every time he'd smile at you a bit warmer, say something you couldn't really avoid. Not anymore. (And you weren't sure you wanted to avoid, honestly.)

And he'd looked at you a lot more, searched you out (when before you used to shun each other, avoid each other), and just smiled at you sometimes for no reason. The thing was you didn't mind it. You wanted him to. Because you... because it was all different.

You were confused, but you weren't going to be the one to encroach on it. It all felt so surreal, that one day something would happen and you'd just snap right back into place -just like before. To be fair, you still argued. But, it was moreso bickering now. And even if it wasn't, before you could get as heated as you used to, you compromised -easily.

You slotted together perfectly and bounced off each other with ease. Hell, he started coming to you about running Alexandria, about problems he couldn't quite get. And the two of you would talk until you worked out a solution. Because you always did.

It made no sense why you'd even clashed in the first place.

You were confused, beyond confused. And you wanted things, wanted to ask things, but they seemed dangerous. Far away-

That brought you here, on a night when you couldn't sleep. Which were more frequent nowadays, if you were completely honest. This whole situation made your mind run for a lot of different reasons, and when it wasn't that, it was nightmares. Alexandria was safe, you knew that, but it didn't necessarily stop your fight or flight -the urge to constantly be on edge, protect.

So, sometimes you sat here on the steps of your porch in the night -the chill and silence of it soothed you. It wouldn't always get you back to sleep, but it would make you feel better. Remind yourself that you're breathing. That you're alive.

You exhaled, trailing your finger along the wood of the railing beside you -absorbing the low buzz of bugs in the air and the strangely familiar groans of walkers outside the walls. It was kinda fucked up that it calmed you down, but you gave yourself a pass.

"Funny seein' ya 'ere."

Your eyes shot up and latched onto his.

The Grimes house was just a couple of houses down, diagonal to yours. So, you could see him, but not entirely clearly.

He was leaning on the porch railing, you could see the sleeves of his jacket against the starch white, and his hair seemed a little messy -your eyes trailed over a particular curl. It was hanging slightly down in front of his face. (You got the urge to fix it, comb it back into place.)

"'Could say the same to you, Grimes," you replied.

You saw him smile, dropping his head to look at the ground. It made something in your chest flutter. But, before you could say anything else, he was stepping down from his porch and making his way to you.

As he got closer you recognized that he was in pajamas with just a jacket thrown over.

He stood just at the bottom of the stairs, leaning onto the railing slightly and just looking at you. Like he always did these days. With worry and... something else.

"Nightmare?" he questioned, genuinely.

You rolled your lip around your teeth, deciding to say, "Kind of."

Rick's lips pressed into a frown, eyes glazing along your face (you didn't look back at him), "Can I sit?"

You were wordless, but moved slightly to the left (despite not really needing to) as unspoken acceptance. He stared at you for a second longer, before slowly but surely making his way to the steps. He sat closer to you than you thought he would've, but it was almost in character of him to do something that surprises you so.

"Ya cold?"

On cue, you shivered slightly, "I've had worse."

Rick let out a low sigh (he knew you well now), nudging off his jacket and hanging it squarely on your shoulders without hesitation. His eyes trailed over you wearing it for a moment, a small look in his eyes that you couldn't name. All shiny as his lips quirked up just a smidgen.

"You don't have to do that," you objected, but it was quiet and weak.

"I want to," he replied, simply.

You couldn't argue with that. Hell, you didn't think you could argue with him anymore-

Rick interrupted the thought, eyebrows furrowed in that kind of way you knew to be worried, "What do ya mean 'kinda'?"

You took a second, staring out into the night -listening to the silence.

"My mind won't stop," you clarified, "-sometimes it's... things I've done, and other times it's... things that I just can't seem to figure out."

"What's it today?"

You pursed your lips a minute, before answering, "Something I can't figure out."

He stared at you, blue eyes flickering along your face in a hazy sort of way. It made something unfurl in your chest that you'd tried to keep shoved down, "Is 'ere anythin' I can do to help?"

You ran the idea through your head a few times, and let your eyes match him a few more. You aren't entirely sure why, but talking to Rick fel a little like he'd never judge you. Even though he had before, it was... it was now. Things were very different.

"Can I ask you a question?" you spoke, then, deflecting a little.

"Shoot," he responded, almost instantly. ( A little like he'd do anything you'd ask.)

"What happened to us?"

Rick's eyebrows furrowed, and you took it as a motion to keep talking, to explain. So, you did.

"We used to-" you dropped your hands on your lap, and stared out into the Alexandrian streets, "-We used to scream at each other until our faces turned red. We couldn't stand each other, and now..."

"'At ain't a good thing?" he questioned, something in his tone a little disappointed (it made your head swirl a little), "-'At it changed, I mean."

"It is," you reassured, facing him a second, "-but I just... Isn't it confusing?"

Rick stayed silent a second, eyes smoothing along your face. Just looking, like maybe he thought you were beautiful (just like you did on that day), or maybe like he never wanted to forget what you looked like.

"No."

You pressed your lips together.

"Don't get me wrong," he clarified with a smile, "-I hated ya once, a long time ago. But 'is? Now? It makes sense."

You asked before you could think about it, "What is 'this'?"

He just stared at you a second, something flickering through his eyes, careful and considerate. Something warm. The warmth you kept seeing now, the one you tried to avoid.

"You," he answered, vaguely, "-Us."

"What does that mean?" you asked, your confusion was ever-so-clear. This was all things you didn't understand.

He didn't say anything, as you stared out into the streets -watching some of the porch lights flicker. The night sky was still dark, so you weren't really worried about the hour.

And then, you felt calloused fingers on your chin -guiding you back to his eyes. The thoughts cleared out of your head.

"Y/N, you drive me fuckin' crazy," he laughed a little, and you felt your eyebrows furrow, "-not just in a frustratin' sorta way. You... I worry about ya like crazy, I think of ya like crazy... I care 'bout ya like crazy-"

Your heart skipped a beat.

"-an' I... I love ya like crazy."

Your lips felt stitched shut, as he just smiled at you -something in his eyes that you could see now. You could identify.

"Ya poke and prod at me until I'm reelin', yeah, but-" he pressed his lips together, eyes shimmering across your face, "-I wouldn't 'ave it any other fuckin' way. An' I mean 'at. I just... I'm not me without ya annoyin' the shit out of me. Without ya callin' me out on my shit."

You laughed, something burning the backs of your eyes, "I am the only one who would do that, huh?"

"Ya are," he grinned at you, and you felt something in your chest squeeze tight.

It felt clear then, abundantly clear.

"I love you too, Grimes."

He grinned, the big kind that crinkled at the eyes, "Thought so."

You rolled your eyes, with no bite, "Oh shut up, sheriff. I could still kick your ass, and you would deserve it."

He laughed, the genuine kind -hand coming to cradle your cheek, "Still, don't doubt it, sweetheart."

You smiled, and noticed just how close the two of you were. He only seemed to be roaming closer, and it made your heartbeat pick up in your chest a little. Before you could stop it, your eyes dipped down to his lips.

He grinned again, the kind that rattle down to your core, all handsome and shiny white teeth. And then, he started moving closer, his own eyes dipping to your lips.

"Ya kno', I can think of a way to get me to shut up."

"Can you?" you teased, quiet between the two of you.

He just hummed, distracted. It made something in your stomach stir.

"I am pretty desperate for you to," you remarked -playfully.

Rick busted into laughter, a loud kind that you barely ever heard from him. It made something in your chest shimmer, proud. You kind of wanted to hear that forever. And now, maybe you could.

The thought made you grin, as you leaned forward, impatiently, and connected your lips to his. It was just a press of lips, but you did feel him lean into it. Before you could get far, he laughed even more, breaking off the kiss, and it made you laugh.

"'Course ya can't wait for one second," he chuckled -playfully, "-You've always been so damn impatient."

"Oh, fuck you, Grimes," you laughed into the night, "-You're lucky I don't-"

And this time, he shut you up.

[thosewildcharms]

Ugh the comparisons are so annoying. You’ll still find people insisting Shane was just ahead of Rick in terms of adapting to a brutal world. When it’s clear the ZA broke Shane, he never really measured his choices and didn’t wanted to help anyone at all. He was a coward and acted first as a coping mechanism not because he was an efficient leader.

say that anon! it's honestly not only annoying but a little troubling to me when people compare rick to shane or worse, n*gan because what do you mean shane was right and rick needed to be more like him? what do you mean if we watched the show from negan's pov we'd be on his side and see rick as the villain? no the fuck he wasn't and no the fuck i would not!

the show establishes very early that yes, violence is necessary. and since that's the case, to differentiate between the rick/the people we're supposed to love and the actual villains we have to look at their motivation. rick has been incredibly violent, but his motivation is always to protect, not only his immediately family, but anyone who becomes part of his community. the group flocked to rick instead of shane from the very beginning because he cared about everybody's welfare, unlike shane whose motivations were ultimately selfish. i always think about his last scene with rick, how shane says he's better for lori and carl, like he wants to possess what is rick's - hence why he sexually assaults lori in the CDC. he didn't love her, he felt he was owed her. the way shane so quickly and easily abandoned all sense of right and wrong and adjusted to brutality was a red flag, not something to emulate. to reiterate the parallel they drew between shane and beale in the towl finale, shane was willing to sacrifice other people (his own people!) for his own survival. we should see this as a bad thing. by contrast we know, empirically, that rick would sooner sacrifice himself than anyone he considered himself responsible for (see: the bridge). the argument that rick needed to learn to be more like shane just doesn't track for me: we saw in nebraska when he killed those two men in the bar without blinking that he was perfectly capable of doing what needed to be done. we saw it when he was the one to step up and kill sophia when she came out of the barn while shane just looked at his feet. if anything, killing shane taught rick just how far rick was willing to go. as he said in his dream sequence in 9x05, it had to be him. he had to stay alive to keep protecting the people he loved no matter what, even if it meant killing his best friend. that's his motivation.

as for n*egan. well. i can't believe in the year 2024 people are still not understanding that rick fucking grimes would never have subordinates, let alone force them to refer to themselves by using his own name. he'd never kill a child to prove a point and force submission, and would never, ever force women to become his wives and have sex with him whenever he wants via coercion because rick grimes would never sexually assault someone. do you honestly think daryl, glenn, maggie, carol, hershel, anyone in team family would have stayed with rick if he was capable of any of that? do you think michonne would have let him within fifty feet of her, let alone put an entire baby in her if that was the type of person he was? the same michonne who arguably has the best instincts of anyone on the show? who sniffed out the governer's bullshit immediately? no. when shown an alternate reality where she became a savior instead of part of team family, michonne called it hell. she only feels safe when she's with rick.

n*gan's whole thing reeks of egotism and a need for power - seeing his people as cogs in a machine meant to be put to work and terrorized and abused only to be told it's all for their own benefit. the saviors are a cult, whereas rick genuinely sees and treats his people as his family. rick's people not only love him, they're not afraid of him. they know that when he does go too far they are safe to tell him so, and that he will listen (even if it takes him a minute). rick admits he deserved it when michonne knocked him out at alexandria, and being a farmer at the prison was basically the apocalyptic equivalent of wearing the grippy socks and he did it without complaint. he lets himself be guided. as hershel said, he gets to come back, and he always does, because for rick ego and power have nothing to do with why he does the things he does. he doesn't enjoy it - it traumatizes him and he has to recover from it. this is not a person on a power trip who needs to be eliminated, but a person who is respected and as a result cared for because he does what needs to be done - things other people might not be capable of doing - but for the right reasons.

all of this is why the towl finale had to happen that way btw. not just because it was set up from the very first episode from a writing/narrative standpoint (and i'll let the much more qualified @starfruit-green speak on the socio-political aspects) but because there's no way rick and michonne grimes would ever hear the words coming out of beale's mouth and not immediately lunge. that finale painstakingly spelled out, slowly while using small words so people could understand, that rick and michonne's sword, their violence, is the necessary kind that protects, that eliminates the real threat. beale, shane, n*gan? they are the threat.

anyway. thank you to @starfruit-green and @redding for the encouragement <3

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 32 ~ Avoiding Me

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 3

✧ Word Count : 5.5k

In this chapter ~ When Daryl and Maggie head off to search endlessly for some formula for the hungry baby, the rest are forced to face the loss of Lori and even a few others during the chaos. They found their luck had seemed to be running out, leaving Rose feeling terribly guilty for what happened. Though somehow, Rick takes notice at her distant state.

After finally pulling away from each other, Glenn and I eventually made it back inside once we both collected ourselves and found everyone sitting in the common room in complete silence. The baby had stopped crying, Beth holding her now as she slept peacefully in an actual blanket they managed to find. I leaned up against the wall with a breath as Glenn whispered that he was going to try and find where Rick took off too, leaving me wordlessly nodding my head as I watched him leave.

"Rose." Hershel called out softly.

I looked over as he motioned to my hands while holding out a water bottle, my gaze snapping down to see that my hands were still covered in dry blood, running up all the way to my elbows. I silently walked over and sat down next to him as he took a rag and began to scrub my skin. No one said a word. I felt almost numb at my surroundings, I could barely even feel the cold water hitting my hands as Hershel cleaned them.

By the time he was done, he placed the water bottle down and gently put his hand on my cheek so I would look at him. He gave me the smallest of smiles and I just leaned in to give him a hug, trying to hold back any remaining tears even though it seemed nearly impossible. I couldn't get the image of her out of my head, the sounds of her screams, it was all so haunting, knowing I couldn't have done anything to save her. He rubbed my back softly, but we broke away quickly at the mere sound of the baby beginning to fuss. Beth apologized quietly and made her way back towards the cells to try and get her to calm down, but we all silently knew what that meant. We didn't have a lot of time left.

My eyes then found Carl's from across the room, nodding my head towards the door to head back outside to talk to him. He followed slowly behind me as we trailed off towards the door, opening it loudly before stepping through the threshold. We both similarly sunk down against the cool cement wall in silence for a few moments with our shoulders nearly touching, I didn't even know where to start. But I had to say something. I didn't want to just ignore the traumatizing event for the two of us in fear it would only make it worse.

"Carl, I..." I began yet stopped myself short, not able to find the right words.

He didn't even glance over at me as I barely heard him whisper, "I know."

I slightly smiled, "You didn't even know what I was going to say."

"I...had a pretty good idea." he replied.

My smile faltered as he still wouldn't meet my eyes, taking a moment to look at him before opening my mouth again. "I'm so sorry. I wish that it could've worked out any other way. And when you-" I breathed, trying to pull myself together, "When you had to... I shouldn't have let you do that. No kid should have to do that."

"I needed to." he assured as he finally turned towards me, "I needed to have a moment alone with her, I knew I couldn't let her turn...I'm just going to miss her...so much." he said, tears quickly spilling down his cheeks again.

I nodded my head in understanding, "Me too kid." I whispered before bringing him in for a hug. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and sniffled slightly as he clung onto me again. I placed my chin on the top of his head while rubbing his back lightly, a lump forming in my throat. But I somehow felt a little better after the short conversation, and I had a feeling he did too, knowing I was going to be here for this kid no matter what. And in the back of my mind, I wanted him to know that too.

Though the minutes grew into hours since Daryl and Maggie left to find formula, and it had quickly grown dark. No one really knew where Rick was except for Glenn, who went to check on him earlier but it apparently hadn't gone well. He was still roaming in the tunnels and hadn't come out yet, still in shock and filled with rage. But when he would eventually come back, I just knew I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye. I could barely look in Carl's direction, it was a miracle I was able to talk to him at all. But I knew we both needed it so in a way, I guess that made it easier.

I was just left so anxious about everything but my main focus was getting this baby some food. I was currently holding her as she screamed in my arms, tilting her head a little back and forth as she had grown so hungry over the time that passed. All I could do was gently rock her and shush her, hoping that they would be back any second now. And as if right on cue, I heard the door fling open and heavy footsteps approaching the common room.

Maggie rushed in first and called for Beth to help her make a bottle, and I sighed in relief that they managed to find some. Daryl then came in right behind her and his eyes instantly snapped to the baby in my arms the second he heard her cry. He made his way over to me in a flash and leaned down to place a kiss on my head.

"How's she doin?" he asked while removing the crossbow from his shoulders.

I shrugged, "She'll be better soon."

He nodded his head and took a seat next to me, "How you doin?"

I didn't respond. I couldn't because I truly didn't know the answer. I couldn't even begin to explain all of the things I was feeling even if I tried. Although he managed to offer me a small smile and wordlessly opened his arms up to take the crying baby. I gently maneuvered her around, placing her in his arms as he began to hold her close.

Beth then ran over and handed the bottle to Daryl who quickly placed it in her mouth, and we were finally met with some much needed silence. Daryl looked from the baby to back up at everyone with a big toothy smile, one that was rare for everyone else to see. Leaning over to look at her face, I gave his arm a squeeze as we all gazed at her intently, relief filling the empty space.

"She got a name yet?" Daryl asked, glancing up at Carl.

"Not yet," he said, "But I was thinking, maybe Sophia? Then there's Carol too, or Andrea, Amy Jacqui, Patricia, or...Lori. I don't know."

We were met with another silence before Daryl spoke again, talking to the little girl, "You like that? Huh? Little ass-kicker."

Everyone chuckled at the nickname, causing him to smile up at everyone with a nod of his head, "Right? That's a good name, right? Little ass-kicker, ya like that huh? Ya like that sweetheart?"

I felt my heart melt onto the floor at how gentle he was being with this sweet little girl in his arms. A small laugh left my lips as I thought of the nickname he had now given her, and when Daryl heard me, he smiled proudly to himself.

"There's that beautiful sound." he whispered over to me.

My eyes softened as the small smile remained on my lips, resting my chin on his shoulder as my eyes glanced back down to the little bean in his arms. She truly was a beautiful baby and I thought it was adorable watching her eyes get droopy as she slowly finished the bottle. Daryl then shifted a little, his head coming down slowly to place a kiss on my forehead before sitting back up straight again. But his movements were enough to ignite an "aww" sound from Glenn as he stood tall next to Maggie.

Daryl and I both looked up at him, "Shut up." we voiced at the same time.

This made everyone laugh again and I couldn't help but let myself smile again too. I was glad everyone was in better spirits, even if it was just for a moment. It was a moment that we all clearly needed more than we would ever let on.

After the baby finished her bottle, Beth offered to put her down in a little tote with some blankets that they found, something small until we found her a real crib. My eyes followed her as she walked away, feeling Daryl grab my hand without even having to look at him. He held it tightly, squeezing it three times in reissuance once the peaceful moment passed, trying to remind me that everything was going to be okay.

Everything was bright and colorful as I stood on the outskirts of the prison, seeing figures standing just inside of the gates. I knew instantly it was the entire group and smiled to myself at the sight, seeing all of them huddled together as if they were talking about something serious. I held up my hand to wave in their direction, but none of them seemed to see me as they kept their heads down, causing my smile to slightly falter.

The temperature then dropped drastically, and I hugged myself to try and keep the goosebumps from appearing on my arms. The wind whipped around dangerously, blowing my hair in every direction possible before then...I heard something. At first I thought it was nothing, my mind playing tricks on me as it seemed impossible. But it was. What started out as faint, turned into something much bigger.

Lori's terrorizing screams started to echo in my mind, and they only grew to a point where it started to become unbearable. Then all of a sudden I heard the baby start to scream right along with her, leaving both of their cries bouncing with the wind all around me. I tried to cover my ears as it became almost painful, but the sounds just grew louder, everything slowly turning into a bright shade of red.

The sky, the grass, the prison, everything was morphing into one as the crimson color bled into everything in sight. I then felt something pooling onto my palms, slowly looking down to see my hands were again coated with blood. A sob escaped my throat as the sounds were only getting louder and louder and I couldn't take it anymore.

I jolted up, gasping for air desperately as it had felt like I had been crying hysterically only seconds ago. My eyes quickly darted around frantically as my chest heaved up and down, expecting everything to be the exact same, but it wasn't. I was sitting up in bed in the darkened cell, the moonlight pouring through the small window from just outside the doorway. A sigh left my lips as I realized none of it was real.

An arm wrapped around my waist suddenly and I gasped a little in surprise, whipping around to see Daryl laying there with hooded eyes, clearly just waking up from my sudden movements.

"It's me. It's me." he assured quietly, his voice thick with sleep.

My hands went up to my eyes as I let out a breath, exhaling deeply to try and calm myself after what I just saw, swearing on everything that it was real with how clear everything looked. But the more I was actually awake, the more it became fuzzy in the back of my mind.

"Sorry." I eventually muttered, "Just a dream."

He placed light kisses on my shoulder, "Lori?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

I just nodded my head, feeling him sigh as he rested his chin on my shoulder, "Ya know that wasn't yer fault, right?" he asked gently.

My head stayed ducked down as I was silent for a long moment, before finally nodding my head, "I know." I muttered, "But it feels like it is...I couldn't do anything to help her. And watching Carl have to..." I trailed off with a sigh, covering my face with my hands.

"Don't blame yerself darlin, it ain't on you." he said softly, "Ya did everythin ya could, ya saved that little girl's life."

I knew I couldn't argue, knowing deep down that he was right. In the end I wished things could've been different, but I couldn't do anything to change the past no matter how heartbreaking it became. I only nodded my head in response again and turned around to face him, wanting to change the subject before the heavy emotions I felt resurfaced all over again.

"You know...seeing you hold that little girl was the cutest thing I've ever seen." I said quietly.

He smiled small, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," I confirmed, "You were so gentle with her, it was adorable."

He hummed, "I never really liked kids all that much...but she's alright." he said, causing me to laugh lightly before he looked up at me for a long moment, moving some hair from out of my face. "Ya ever think bout that? Havin kids?" he asked suddenly.

My eyes widened at the question that I never thought Daryl Dixon would ask me. I guess after the apocalypse you don't really think about settling down, just mainly focusing on keeping yourself alive for the most part. But on the other hand seeing him with that baby warmed my heart. Maybe even a little too much.

"Um...to be honest not really," I said with a nervous laugh, "Before everything I just don't think I was ever with the right guy to think about having kids with them, you know?"

He nodded, "Yeah, makes sense."

I smirked at him, "Well, what about you?"

"I uh- n-no, no not really." he said quickly, subconsciously tracing his fingers up and down my legs, giving me goosebumps.

My smirk only grew, "You're stuttering." I teased.

He looked up and gave me a playful glare, "I ain't stutterin."

"Okay." I brushed off, though the smile never left my face as I watched him unfold right in front of me as his nervous expression never changed.

He grew silent for a little while as I watched him bite the inside of his lip anxiously. I knew there was something more he wanted to say, but didn't quite know how to say it. Could he possibly want kids? And with me? The topic alone was something that I never thought we would talk about, leaving me absolutely baffled that he was he one to bring it up first. I had a feeling my answer made him question a few things, but I didn't want to push him if he wasn't ready to talk about it further.

"Rose?" he asked.

I hummed in response, telling him to go on, "If ya ever...found the right guy. Do ya think... you would uh...ya know..." he trailed off.

I felt a grin break out onto my face, although he couldn't see since he refused to meet my eyes. I stalled and pretended to think for a moment before speaking again with a nod of my head. "Yeah, I think if I found the right guy, I would want kids eventually."

His eyes slowly panned up towards me with a soft, growing smile on his lips, but before he could say anything I continued, "I'm still looking for him though." I joked.

"Shut up." he scoffed, playfully pushing me to the side.

I just laughed to myself before placing a quick kiss on his cheek, leaning down to lay on my back next to him again. He instantly pulled me closer to his chest while he rested his chin on the top of my head, leaving light kisses here and there as he let out a content sigh. I felt warmer under his touch, leaving me grateful that he was here for me whenever I really needed him. I felt myself drift off faster than I could process at the feeling of the light patterns he traced on my back, the bad dream I had a little while ago now fading away completely.

The next morning came within a flash, the whole group meeting in the common room to have breakfast together. I had quickly learned that Axel and Oscar were now welcomed into the group because of a situation that went down when I was with Lori and Carl. Apparently, they proved themselves during the hectic time and were now staying with us, which honestly made me happy. We needed more people and now knowing they could be trusted, it was nice having them around.

Currently I was holding the baby and feeding her in the early hours, slowly pacing around the room as I bounced her. I looked back up at everyone and I locked eyes with Daryl, who was already staring at me. He had a soft smile on his face as his eyes moved from me to the baby a few times, the bowl of oatmeal he was eating now forgotten. I smiled back as the thoughts of our conversation from last night started to replay in my mind, giving him a wink before continuing to move back and forth.

Now I knew we both definitely weren't ready for anything like that yet, we had only been together for a little less than a year. But I think we were both content with the answers we gave each other last night, even if those decisions were in the far future. Like I'm talking way far. I was definitely not ready right now, but it was nice to know that we would be on the same page eventually. It gave me hope and something to look forward to as this place would hopefully grow into something more. That's what we all wished for anyway.

But my thoughts were then interrupted when a voice I didn't expect to hear came from just outside of the common room. The voice so sudden and unexpected I could've sworn I saw a few people jump at the unexpected face.

"Everybody okay?" Rick rasped.

The group froze where they were, looking up to see him standing in the doorway of the common room hesitantly with huge bags under his eyes. His white shirt was now stained with blood, along with a few scattered parts of his skin, leading us to only assume the type of rampage he went on throughout the night.

"...Yeah we are." Maggie assured after a moment of silence.

"What about you?" Hershel asked.

"I cleared out the boiler block." he spoke again, ignoring the old man's question as he slowly entered the space, "There were a dozen, maybe two dozen, I don't know...I have to get back, I just wanted to check on Carl." he said while patting the kid on the back.

His eyes then shifted over everyone else in the room before landing directly on me, my gaze whipping down towards the ground to avoid his gaze.

"Rick we can handle taking out the bodies, you don't have to." Glenn spoke.

"No, I do." he insisted, "Everyone have a gun and a knife?"

Daryl looked up from his food, "Yeah, but we're runnin low on ammo."

"Maggie and I were planning on making a run this afternoon. I think Rose might come too." Glenn informed.

I felt Rick's eyes land on me again but all I could do was look at Glenn as he continued to speak, "Found a phonebook with some places we can hit, look out for bullets and formula."

"Good. Good." was all Rick said before making his way back out of the room, hearing everything he wanted to hear. Hershel tried to call his name to stop him, but he just ignored him again and kept moving.

We were all worried about him, that much was clear. But it was getting harder to ignore the twist I felt in my gut whenever I felt his gaze, like the guilt was too much for me to even be in the same room as him. I couldn't read his expression or even how he was feeling, and subconsciously I think that's what worried me the most.

My eyes eventually glanced back down at the baby in my arms, seeing that the bottle was now empty and she had completely passed out. I smiled to myself and placed the bottle down on the table before slowly trailing into Carl's cell, setting her down in the tote so she could sleep. My movements were slow and hesitant as I tried not to wake her, before I headed back out into the common room and saw Glenn and Maggie quickly loading their guns and getting ready for the run, while the others finished eating.

"You coming with us?" Glenn asked me.

I fidgeted with my hands for a second, "Uh I don't think so. I just need- just need a little more time to-"

"Yeah, of course." he interrupted before I could explain myself, making his way up to me to bring me in for a hug, "Rest, eat, drink. Take care of yourself while we're gone, okay?" he whispered in my ear.

I just nodded and he quickly kissed my forehead before pulling away from me, Maggie only following his actions as she brought me into her embrace and held me tightly.

"Be safe out there." I whispered to her.

She squeezed me tighter, "We will, don't worry. Take care of yourself babe."

"I will." I promised with a small smile and she nodded, fully pulling away from me to head out with Glenn.

After watching the two of them leave safely, I slowly made my way back into the cellblock, trailing up the stairs and into the room to crash onto the bed with a sigh. I didn't have any more horrid dreams last night, probably because Daryl was there, but that didn't stop me from waking up multiple times throughout the late hours. I was just too anxious to sleep. Too anxious to even think of resting for too long before waking up again, thinking I heard the baby cry. But it was always all in my head.

Though right now, the tiredness finally caught up to me as my body felt heavier than normal, feeling my muscles relax under the somewhat stiff mattress. My eyelids fluttered shut the longer I laid still, but then I heard faint footsteps coming closer to the cell and I peeled my eyes open to look back, seeing Daryl attempting to sneak in quickly.

"Hey, just came in to get my crossbow." he said.

"Where are you going?" I asked, sitting up slightly.

He grabbed his weapon and loaded a bolt, "M' gonna head down to the tunnels and check 'em out. Clear any other walkers we might've missed, might take Carl with me."

I nodded my head, "Just be safe. Protect him."

He smiled, "I will, don't worry." he said, coming over to kiss my lips softly before pulling away, "Rest while m' gone, okay? Heard ya wake up a few times last night."

I groaned, "I'm sorry I didn't realize-"

"Don't apologize." he said, "Just want ya to get some sleep, that's all."

"I'll try." I said with a sad smile.

He nodded in understanding and kissed me once more before heading off into the tunnels. I couldn't help but worry about everyone right now. Glenn and Maggie went out on a run and that's always risky, Daryl and Carl are heading into the tunnels where anything could happen, and Rick was just...lost and utterly broken. I didn't know how I would face him, but I knew I had to eventually. But for now, sleep was all I should be thinking about.

I woke up only about an hour or two later and I felt slightly better, like a weight was lifted off of my chest. My joints popped one by one as I stood up, stretching as best as I could before walking out to see where everyone was. The common room was fairly empty when I quietly entered the space, just Carl, Beth, and Hershel- who was holding the baby. Beth looked like she was making something to eat in a pot big enough to feed a village before she clearly heard my footsteps as she turned around with a smile.

"Hey, you sleep at all?" she asked.

I nodded as I walked up next to her, "Yeah hon, I got about two hours. What are you making?" I asked, peeking inside.

"Just some soup, figured everyone would be hungry again soon." she said briefly while going back to mixing it.

I nodded before moving down to the table to take a seat across from Carl, "Hey kid, did you go down in the tunnels with Daryl?" I asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, I decided to come back though. He's still down there double checking I think."

"See anything?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Other than some dirt and blood, there wasn't much. A few walkers popped out at one point, but we had it covered."

"I'm sure you saved his ass from those, right?" I asked with a growing smirk on my face.

"Oh yeah." he agreed instantly, "Almost screamed like a girl once he saw them." he joked.

He got me to let out a laugh, shaking my head at the sudden sarcasm while he seemed to pull it off with a straight face. But the moment didn't last very long. His eyes suddenly moved behind my head, looking at something in the distance and I turned around to follow his gaze, pausing momentarily when I saw it was Rick.

He wordlessly made his way into the common room, with his eyes glued on Hershel and the baby as everything else around him seemed to disappear. He slowly walked over to them and gently took her from the older man, holding her slightly upright to get a better look at her face. His lips stretched into a small smile, placing a kiss on her head while whispering things to her that I couldn't hear from where I was.

I couldn't help but watch him from afar and felt a smile creep onto my own face at the sweet moment they shared, happy that he came out to finally meet his daughter. Knowing in the back of my mind that the main thing that would bring him out of this, were his kids. He needed the two of them just as much as they needed him.

He then slowly turned back around to face the rest of us, his eyes landing on me for a moment and I couldn't help but squirm under his gaze. I didn't know what he was thinking, and I hated it. A part of me expected him to resent me for the things I had to do, purposefully ducking my head away from him the second he spotted me. I just couldn't hold eye contact with him, the guilt washing back over me the second I stared into his eyes for a little too long.

Standing up suddenly when I couldn't take it anymore, I moved over to Beth to let her know I was heading outside for some fresh air, leaving the space before she even had the chance to respond.

I walked out of the prison and found my way up closer to the gate, watching a few walkers roam around on the outside. I let my mind wander to Lori, but only for a second, letting the words and promises I made to her echo in my mind. We weren't that close with one another, but it was almost like we had a mutual understanding between us. We had each other's backs. She gave me blood, saved my life when she barely knew me, and I watched her all winter long. Giving her my food, and comforting words whenever she needed it. I missed her.

But the feeling didn't last long as I heard footsteps coming up from behind me, and I almost didn't want to turn around. I had a sickening feeling I knew exactly who it was, and I didn't want to face him right now. What would I say? What could I say? He probably hated me, hated the things we couldn't avoid. But I turned to look over my shoulder nonetheless, and there he was, slowly making his way up to me.

Though I turned back around just as quickly to look out into the distance once more, and he followed my actions once he was close enough to my frame. He didn't say anything. Not a word. I wasn't going to be the one to break the silence and accidently say the wrong thing, knowing he was unstable. So, I just waited to see what he would do, the silence growing unbearable after the first few minutes of us standing shoulder to shoulder.

"You're avoiding me." he stated.

My eyes snapped over at him in shock at what he just muttered almost under his breath. He didn't turn towards me however, just kept his gaze on the trees, following the movements of the walkers with his eyes as if he didn't open his mouth at all. I thought it was pretty ironic he was saying this to me when he was the one going on a killing spree in the tunnels, you know, avoiding his group. But I knew I couldn't get short with him however, because that wasn't fair. And in the back of my mind, I knew how it would work out in the end if I said what was truly on my mind. Though that didn't make his words any less ironic.

I couldn't help but quietly scoff, "That's interesting, coming from you."

He then glanced over at me but didn't say a word, "You've kind of been the one avoiding us. Am I the pot or the kettle in this situation?" I asked genuinely.

He sighed, shaking his head, "I guess you're right. But I clearly have my reasons, and I haven't heard yours. Rose, you can't even look at me."

I slowly turned my gaze back to look him in the eye, "I'm looking at you." I lied through my teeth.

"You haven't been." he retorted.

I saw so much emotion behind his eyes and I knew if I kept up this little staring contest, I would break down for about the fiftieth time in the past few hours, so I couldn't help but look away from him again. My actions alone caused him to sigh, seeing him pinch the bridge of his nose out of the corner of my eye. He was going through a lot and I knew that, but I didn't know how to be there for him if he was taking off every two seconds. But I also didn't know if I could be there, not knowing what he needed.

My stomach churned in guilt when my eyes moved away from him, preparing myself to glance back over, to actually talk to him like he wanted. To actually talk about the fat elephant wedged between us. But a sudden moving figure in the distance stopped me dead in my tracks.

At first I thought it was just another walker, being surrounded by the few others that scattered over the grass. But the more I watched, the more I noticed, my eyes trailing down to a basket held in on of their hands. They were alive.

"Rose-" Rick started.

"Stop." I said while my focus was solely on the person only making their way closer.

He shook his head, "No, Rose listen to me-"

"Rick stop. Look." I snapped, pointing out at the person in the distance.

He instantly followed my line of sight, and I looked back over to see the wheels turning in his head. He made eye contact with me and nodded towards the gate for me to follow, picking up his pace as we saw them get closer. My heart began beating faster in anticipation, their features slowly coming into view with the closer we became. When I could finally just make out what they looked like, I saw that it was a woman with dreadlocks and a sword, carrying some supplies in her right hand while she cradled her injured leg in her left. But when I took a closer look at the basket, my heart dropped seeing formula inside.

Alarms immediately started going off in my head and I just knew something wasn't right. But right as I was about to open my mouth, the walkers started to take notice to her, smelling the fresh blood that pooled on her clothes. She dropped the supplies and immediately began to fight them off, taking her weapon from behind her back.

Rushed footsteps were suddenly making their way over behind the two of us, looking back to see Carl breathlessly staring at the woman, "Should we help her?" he asked frantically.

"No." Rick immediately declined.

My eyes snapped toward him, "Rick, we have to."

"We don't have to do anything, we don't know her." he argued.

"Look at what she has!" I snapped, pointing towards the formula and watching his eyes widen slightly, "Something happened out there, I can feel it. We're helping her." I said before pushing myself to move quickly towards the gate.

My eyes watched her as she continued to fight them off, my hands fumbling a little with the keys as I tried to be fast. But her thrusts were getting sloppy, her movements slowing down almost completely, before she harshly collapsed to the ground.

Fuck.

~ Thanks for reading!

[deansapplepie]

Till THE DEAD do us part |Chapter 15

Chapter 14 Chapter 16

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 15: We’re definitely lucky

Summary: After the fall of the farm, the group is on the road trying to survive and find a safe heaven. Daryl and Y/N are scavenging for winter clothes to warm everyone in the upcoming winter.

Warnings: mentions of sex, mentions of abuse/domestic violence (it’s just a little, the chapter is mostly fluff all around). Minors do not interact.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader (Rick’s Sister)

Word Count: 2,204

Extra notes: I proofread the text, but English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistakes, of course with love. This story happens between the farm and the prison, if you don’t read the series you can read this chapter without reading the others. New era, new cover, what do you think?

After the fall of the farm all of you kept wandering around Georgia looking for a safe place you could stay and build a home, a safe place so Lori could give birth without having to worry if the baby would attract the walkers, a safe place you could breath… A safe place.

Nothing had been the same since the farm, Rick despaired to find a safe place for his family, pressured by the disbelief of some, decided that who stayed would have to follow him and agree with whatever he decided. Many thought he was crazy, but everybody stayed… you didn’t think he was crazy, but for sure you knew he wasn’t on his right mind and you couldn’t do anything unless being by his side and support what Daryl and you called affectionately Ricktatorship when nobody was listening.

The group was doing good together, but your family couldn’t be worse. Rick wasn’t talking to Lori and for some time Lori didn’t want to talk to Rick too. Carl was more rebellious than anything and he was not even on his pre-teens, you couldn’t imagine when the kid got to his teens. You were the only one navigating between the little bubbles they created for themselves and trying to have everyone good and as happy as they could be.

Daryl and you couldn’t be better, you were almost always together and it was like your minds were connected, because often you had the same ideas or thoughts. Also, the sex was amazing, you knew you’d never complain about it since in your mind Daryl was like the god of sex. Even many times having to be everyone in the same crowded room, you’d always find a way of having some fun and get the stress relieved, it could be in the woods before a hunt, after a hunt, in a run when you went alone, gods you even risked one time that Glenn went with you almost being caught by him… You acted like a pair of teenagers that couldn’t get their hands from each other.

It had been a month or so after everything happened, you weren’t counting the time anymore. It was the middle of Fall, and each day it got colder and colder, you were good for now with the clothing and blankets you had, but you didn’t know how it would get when winter arrived. So, while the group stayed in an abandoned house you found deep in the woods, you and Daryl went to the small city nearby so you could scavenge the houses and see if you got something. There was no use looking at stores because the outbreak was on the hot seasons, so no store had many winter clothes.

You had just entered one house and were checking the first floor for walkers, you didn’t find any, so you went upstairs to check and then start the search for the things you needed and anything that could be useful. Upstairs was also clear, you felt lucky, because the last houses you went had 5 walkers to kill and they were annoying.

“I have a good feeling about this house” you said while you both entered the first room to start looking for what you needed. “No walkers, I guess we’re going to find lots of things.”

“I hope ya’re right.” He said opening the closet cautiously to check if there was a walker, there was no walker, but it was full of clothes. “Well… I think we’re lucky today.” He took some coats and jackets from the closet.

“I told you so…” You singsonged joining him in front of the closet looking for things. You found some beanies and scarfs. “I think Beth gonna like this one.” You said looking at a grey beanie before putting it on the bag with the other.

“Yeah, think she’ll like.” He answered not understanding why you thought Beth would like a simple grey beanie, anyone could like it if it meant keeping their head and ears warm.

You went for the chest of drawers looking one by one, you were so focused on you job that you barely said anything. Then you went for the next room, it looked like a couple’s room, as the previous you thought it was a room of a teenager, since everything there screamed Beth for you. The room was spacious with a queen bed, a 2 doors closet. Once again Daryl checked for walkers on the closets and nothing. When he opened you could see masculine and feminine clothes and you started scavenging for winter clothes.

“Hey! Look what I found!” You said excitedly holding a big poncho in the colors brown, red and beige. “I think it would look good on you.” You extended it in front of him to see how it would look.

“Do ya?” He asked disbelief in his tone, maybe it was a joke, people normally didn’t like ponchos. He didn’t mind, he’d rather be warm than to be up to date with the last fashion, and thank god it didn’t existed anymore in this world.

“Yeah, try it on.” You said handing him the poncho.

He took the piece of clothing from your hand and landed his crossbow on the wall. He dressed the poncho and spread it on his torso and it fit him so well.

“You look adorable!” You squealed.

“Adorable isn’t the word I was expecting to listen.” He said scrunching his nose.

“But you look adorable, and manly.” You said brushing his shoulders with your hands. “I better keep my eyes on you, girls gonna be crazy around you.” You joked.

“Pffffft… which girls? Walker girls?” He joked, his ears getting red and involuntary giving a little smile.

“Now, being serious. This poncho was made for you, keep it.” You looked right at his eyes, just as if you could hypnotize him into keeping the poncho.

“Yes, ma’am. I’m at your orders.” He kept the poncho and put the crossbow again on his shoulder.

“Good.” You said and tiptoed to peck his lips before going back to look for the clothes.

You continued looking in the closet, concentrating and happy about finding clothes for everyone, going to different houses you could find different things and also different sizes, which was perfect. You were starting to get bored with all the silence, so you decided to speak while you took a look at the drawers.

“D., I never used the questions I won that day.” You said and you could swear you heard a snort coming from him.

“D’ya still remember it?”he asked. “You already asked me so many things after that… Go on, ya can ask me anything.”

“So… Daryl Dixon, how many girlfriends did you have?” You decided to start simply, a silly question to lighten up the things. Daryl and you were closer than ever, but you still had some bricks of your walls to break, especially his.

“Really?” He turned from the closet to you, an eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, they’re probably walkers by now, but I need to know my rivals.” You played, while you took some gloves and mittens you found on one of the drawers.

“You.” That was his answer.

“This isn’t a number, Daryl.” You turned to look at him, that was just closing the closet.

“One. Ya’re the first, the only one.” He wasn’t afraid of telling you this, your experiences were different but he felt like you completed each other. He turned to you shoving some clothes inside the extra bag you had brought. “Before ya, it was just casual drunk one night stands.” Nobody ever made him feel like he felt with you. Nobody ever got this close to him. He never let and nobody ever wanted to.

“I’m honored.” You circled your arms around him, it warmed your heart that you could get this close to the hunter. It meant something, you wished he was your first too. You hoped he was also the last.

“Ya should be.” He hugged you back, his chin resting on the top of your head. “I also am. We’re definitely lucky.”

You took your face from his chest and looked at him. “I still have one question. Can I ask you?”

“As many as ya want. Ya don’t need to win them over.”

You took your hands from his back and put them on each side of his face. This was something you wanted to ask for a long time, but you never had the courage to. Afraid to cross his limits. “If you don’t wanna answer, you don’t need to. Ok?” He just nodded waiting for your question. You took a deep breath before speaking. “Who… who hurt you?”

There could be so many answers for this. He could pretend to not understand, play with you and say that he killed all the walkers that tried to hurt him, but he knew where this question was coming from. To be honest, he expected you to have asked it a long time ago. “Ma old man. He was a drunk. When Merle wasn’t around to be the target of his wrath, he‘d aim at me. Merle wasn’t around many times.”

He repudiated pity, he didn’t want anyone to have this feeling for him, but he didn’t see any of it on your face. He saw understanding and a hint of sadness because of your empathy. “I’m sorry for you and Merle, and I’m proud you grew to become a good man with a gold heart.”

After you finished in that house, you decided to go back to the others. You already had a lot of things to take back and it would be even more difficult to carry more things. Actually, you were still asking yourselves if you would be able to carry everything, but Daryl sorted a way so you could carry everything on the bike. Everybody got excited with the clothes for the winter and blankets you brought for the group. Glenn and Rick had managed to find some food so you could survive till the next day, before you and Daryl could go hunting.

The house in the woods, was small, however it had only 2 bedrooms, which all of you agreed to let one for Lori, Carl and Rick, given to Lori’s condition, and the other one for Hershel and Beth, cause Hershel was an elder, he needed the little comfort you could give him. The rest of you would spread around the living room or any other room habitable in the old dusty house.

It was probably 2 in the morning, or something around it when Daryl woke up, both of you were laying on one of the corners of the room, your arms around him and his around you. He heard something, but he wasn’t sure what. That’s when he listened to you speaking. “Daryl…” Your sleepy voice and your calm breathing made it clear that you were, once again sleep talking. It didn’t happen all the time, but sometimes you’d talk on your sleep, many times it was when you had a nightmare, but other times it was during some crazy random dream you had.

“I’m ‘ere babe.” He whispered caressing your arm, his other hand came to you face, taking some hair away from it. He knew you were sleeping, but he thought that you would be good, even if only on your subconscious you knew he was there.

“I… love you.” You mumbled on your sleep. His heart rushed furiously, it seemed as it wanted to jump from his chest. His stomach? A butterfly house. Were you saying that on your sleep for him? “Daryl…” of course it was directed to him, he knew when his name left your lips.

“I love ya more, puppy.” He whispered, speaking for the first time the feeling that had been on his chest for a long time. It wasn’t ideal that he confessed his feelings while you were sleeping and unconscious, but he still felt good he told you anyway.

He only hoped, one day both of you could tell it on the open, when none of you were sleeping, when both of you could remember. He thought it wasn’t fair that only he knew you shared the same feelings as him, but he still couldn’t bring himself to tell you… not yet. At least, everyday he tried to show you with his actions.

He brought his lips to your temple and turned to your side without stopping holding you. His arms still encircling your body, now you hid your face on his chest and his face hid on your neck. Soon he drifted again to sleep comfortable holding you and warm from your body heat and the new blankets you had found. His heart light and calm knowing that he, Daryl Dixon, could be loved.

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[the-name-is-z]

SKELETONS | ch. 20

daryl dixon x f!oc

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Summary: After escaping the farm, the group panics about where to go, what to do. Rick declares himself their leader and leads them onward in hopes of a safe place and better life. Warnings/Information: AMC's The Walking Dead OC Insert | 18+ Advised | strangers to lovers; the slowest of slow burns; gore; angst; horror; humour; m/f; discussion of walkers, discussions of political views, surviving out in the woods, discussion of murder/murder conspiracy, killing huge amounts of walkers, near miss with a gun

Chapter 20 - East

It was a few hours down the road before Rick honked the horn and Daryl, now at the head of their frighteningly smaller caravan, pulled to a stop. Everyone got out of the cars and Rick jogged up ahead.

“You out?” Daryl asked, holding the bike steady.

“Running on fumes.” Rick replied.

“We can’t stay here.” Maggie stated. 

“We can’t all fit in one car.” Glenn replied.

“We’ll have to make a run for some gas in the morning.” Rick replied, surveying their surroundings. 

“Spend the night here?” Carol asked.

“I’m freezing.” Carl shuddered, only in a hoodie. Rick started to take off his jacket, handing it to his son.

“We’ll build a fire, yeah?” Lori asked, rubbing Carl’s arms.

“You go out looking for firewood, stay close.” Daryl instructed. “Only got so many arrows. How you doing on ammo?”

“Not enough.” Rick grumbled.

“We can’t just sit here with our assess hanging out.” Maggie complained, huffing.

“Watch your mouth.” Hershel warned. “Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick.”

“Alright, we’ll set up a perimeter. In the morning, we’ll find gas and some supplies. We’ll keep pushing on.” Rick decided.

“Glenn and I can go make a run now, try and scrounge up some gas.” Maggie offered.

“No, we stay together.” Rick declined. “God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car.”

“Rick, we’re stranded now.” Glenn protested.

“I know it looks bad, we’ve all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other. I wasn’t sure— I really wasn’t— but we did. We’re together. We keep it that way. We’ll find shelter somewhere. There’s gotta be a place.”

“Rick, look around. There’s walkers everywhere. They’re migrating or something.” Glenn murmured.

“There’s gotta be a place, not where we can just hole up, but that we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together. Build a life for each other. I know it’s out there, we just have to find it.” Rick said, pacing. They were almost like the words of an inspirational speech, except he was speaking as if the words were the one thing keeping him from happiness.

“Even if we do find a place, we think it’s safe, we can never be sure. For how long?” Maggie asked. “Look what happened with the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that that was safe.”

“We won’t make that mistake again.” Hershel said lowly.

“Can we think a little more short-term, please?” Iris asked, looting through her backpack. She pulled out a sweater, handing it to Carol, who was shivering in just a cardigan.

“Thank you.” She breathed, pulling it on.

“Let’s organize some now plans.” Iris suggested, trying to reign in the panic that Rick was evidently facing. Rick nodded, rubbing a hand over his face.

“We’ll make camp tonight, over there, get on the road at the break of day.” He decided, gesturing to the stone ruins of an old water mill. The only parts that remained were a few walls.

“Does this feel right to you?” Carol asked Iris. She paused, pursing her lips.

“What if walkers come through? Or another group like Randall's?” Beth asked.

“You know we found Randall, right? He had turned, but he wasn’t bit.” Daryl said to Rick, brows furrowing in concern. 

“How’s that possible?” Beth asked.

“Rick, what the hell happened?” Lori asked.

“Shane killed Randall. Just like he always wanted to.” Daryl guessed.

“And then the herd got him?” Lori asked. Iris stayed quiet, as did Glenn and Daryl. Even if they knew, and they suspected that Shane tried to kill Rick, that wasn’t something the others needed to know. Rick looked at the ground and stayed quiet for a moment.

“We’re all infected.” He said finally. Iris raised an eyebrow.

“What?” Daryl asked.

“At the CDC, Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it.” He elaborated. Everyone paused, taking in this new information. So, if ever they died, they would turn. Unless their brain was… killed, for lack of a better term, first. Randall broke his neck, so he turned. Shane… they still didn’t know what happened to Shane. 

“You never said anything?” Carol asked, frowning.

“Would it have made a difference?” Rick asked.

“The difference is made now, with our opinion of you and how trustworthy you are. You don’t get to decide what information is worth anything to us.” Iris stated. Rick considered this, nodding after a moment.

“You knew this whole time.” Glenn shook his head.

“How could I have known for sure? You saw how crazy that mo—“

“That isn’t your call!” Glenn cut him off, agreeing with Iris. “When I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of everyone.”

“Well, I thought it best that people didn’t know.” Rick stated simply. Iris hissed through her teeth, starting her own pacing. She felt trapped. They were stuck here, against the wall, nowhere to go…

Rick walked off to start forming the perimeter, leaving them to do as they liked to make camp. Lori followed after him while Daryl started setting up his crossbow. Iris kept pacing, her thumb nail between her teeth. 

They built a fire, made camp. Daryl brought in the most firewood from the woods. Everyone was mostly quiet, speaking in hushed whispers as Rick walked around, patrolling. Iris was perched on top of one of the old stone walls, away from the fire. She didn’t need the warmth. The cold kept her awake.

A twig snapped in the distance and everyone’s hackles raised. They were like a nervous pack of dogs, guns raised as soon as they heard a single noise. Iris lifted herself into a crouch.

“What was that?” Beth asked.

“Could be anything. Could be a raccoon, could be an opossum.” Daryl shrugged, pulling out his crossbow.

“A walker.” Glenn stated tightly. 

“Iris?” Daryl asked as Rick stalked back into the camp. She looked out, but couldn’t see anything in their immediate vicinity.

“Nothing.” She replied.

“We need to leave. I mean, what are we waiting for?” Carol asked, her voice shrill with fear.

“Which way?” Glenn asked.

“It came from over there.” Maggie replied, pointing.

“Yeah.” Beth agreed.

“The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark.” Rick hissed. “We don’t have the vehicles, no one’s travelling on foot—“ He was interrupted by a branch snapping again. Iris shuffled to the edge of the wall, peering out toward the woods.

“Don’t panic.” Hershel whispered.

“I’m not… I’m not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through.” Maggie murmured. “We need to move, now.”

“No one is going anywhere.” Rick snapped.

“Not a herd. I’d be able to see it.” Iris said, to hopefully provide some slight comfort. Daryl tossed her a flashlight and she shone it out into the woods.

“Do something.” Carol pleaded.

“I am doing something!” Rick replied. “I’m keeping this group together. Alive. I’ve been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn’t ask for this. I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ’s sake!” And there it was. Iris raised an eyebrow, content with her suspicions confirmed. She knew Shane’d try to kill him again. It wasn’t much of a loss, but everyone stared as he admitted it openly. “You saw what it was like. How he pushed me, how he compromised us. How he threatened us.”

“He threatened to kill Dale. And Rick. In front of me.” Iris added, to Rick’s benefit. He nodded in appreciation. 

“He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back.” Rick continued. Carl sobbed and Lori pulled him into her chest. “He gave me no choice! He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean.” He insisted. Iris raised the other eyebrow. No one said anything in response. 

“Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there’s a place for us, but maybe it’s just another pipe dream. Maybe I’m fooling myself again. Why don’t you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Go on, there’s the door. You can do better? Let’s see how far you get. No takers? Fine, but let’s get one thing straight. You’re staying, this isn’t a democracy anymore.”

They stared in silence. Faces decorated with fear, anger, resentment. Of course they couldn’t survive without him, but this… none of them wanted this. Iris sucked on a tooth, turning back to the woods. She could survive on her own. She had survived on her own. 

But she wouldn’t leave these people, these people that took her in. They were all she had left now. She couldn’t leave them to Rick. Hopefully not all of them took it too seriously. The people were the ones who overpowered Caesar, after all. Rick could exert his alpha male bullshit over them all he wanted, but what power did he have over them, really? The audacity to stand up and say so, she supposed. But that was all.

-

It was seven months later. They spent the winter hardening themselves to the world, honing survival skills. They moved better as a group now, but it was rough. They were starving. There were a few notable differences otherwise. Carl’s hair was longer, he was older. Frighteningly so, actually. He often accompanied them on runs or raiding abandoned houses. He could handle himself well, Iris thought.

Daryl’s hair would have been longer, had he not regularly shorn it off with a razor blade. Iris imagined that was how he’d always cut his hair, choppy and uneven. But, it was definitely Daryl. Glenn got beefier, well, they all did with the amount of cardio and manual labour they did in a day. He’d even shown the beginnings of a small moustache. Hershel had grown a thick beard, and Lori had grown the majority of another human. She was pretty big by now. 

Rick led the way as they broke into an old house, the silencer on the end of his pistol doing wonders for clearing walkers quickly and quietly. T-Dog and Daryl followed behind, taking out a few remaining walkers before Iris and Carl came in to help clear the rest of the house.

The summer heat was sweltering, and Iris was glad for the pair of coveralls she donned most days. They were from the old garage, the name Tony embroidered in a patch above the breast pocket, and the gang logo patched on the opposite arm. Tony was a ‘cousin’, in that they both grew up under the gang, their fathers ‘brothers’ by oath. He’d died the second day in, saving Felix from a walker in an old pharmacy. 

She wore his coveralls with pride, finding the top half easy to take on and off, tying the arms around her waist when it got too hot, as it was now. The house was mostly empty, clearly having been ransacked before. She followed Daryl upstairs, checking out a few empty rooms before Daryl came out of one holding a dead owl. She raised an eyebrow, following him downstairs as the group filtered into the house for the night. 

He sat himself down, pulling feathers off of the bird. Carl found a couple cans, opening them with a can opener he’d found in his pocket, but when Rick picked one up, seeing the dog on the label, he threw it into the fireplace in anger.

T-Dog hissed quietly, jerking his head to the window. A small herd, catching up with them. They’d have to move on. They moved quickly out of the house, possessions dwindled more than they had before, enough that they could run easily if they needed to. Everything was tossed back into the cars and they pulled out, Daryl taking the lead on the bike.  

They pulled to a stop on a side road, everyone getting out methodically. Iris rolled out the road map on the hood of the SUV. Markings in red across the state, placed they’d been, places they could go. Herds they’d seen and escaped. Most of it was crossed off with angry red X’s.

“We’ve got no place else to go.” T-Dog announced, examining the map.

“When this herd meets up with this one, we’ll be cut off.” Maggie pointed. “We’ll never make it south.”

“What would you say? That was about 150 head?” Daryl asked.

“That was last week. It could be twice that by now.” Glenn replied.

“This river could have delayed them. If we move fast, we might have a shot to tear right through there.” Hershel argued.

“Yeah, but if this group joins with that one, they could spill out this way.” T-Dog replied.

“So we’re blocked.” Maggie murmured.

“Only thing to do is double back at twenty-seven and swing toward Greenville.” Rick suggested.

“Yeah, we picked through that already.” T-Dog frowned. “It’s like we spent the winter going in circles.”

“Yeah, I know, I know. At Newnan we’ll push west. Haven’t been through there yet. We can’t keep going house to house. Need to find someplace to hole up for a few weeks.”

“Alright. Is it cool if we head to the creek before we head out? Won’t take long.” T-Dog asked. “We gotta fill up on water. We can boil it later.”

“Knock yourselves out.” Rick replied.

“Hey.” Daryl called. “While the others go wash their panties, we should go hunt. That owl didn’t exactly hit the spot.” He nodded to Iris and she grabbed her knives, slinging the belt around her shoulder. Rick followed her and Daryl into the forest, walking along a set of train tracks. They made it about a quarter mile before the trees spread, revealing the remains of a prison compound. It was completely overrun, the field flooded with the dead.

“That’s a shame.” Daryl murmured. They stopped overlooking the fences, guard towers. Iris looked to Rick, who had a telltale expression on his face. She turned to Daryl, who was watching her.

“We could clear it.” She said quietly. “We could.” One of the blocks had a fire inside, the soot spreading up the walls from the windows on the outside, but it could definitely work. 

They gathered the others, bringing them to the prison. They took out a few walkers on the way while Rick cut into the chain link fence with a pair of bolt cutters. They slipped through, closing the hole in the fence with some spare wire. They could run around the compound now, safely in between the two fences. They jogged around to the front gates, where they could get in without cutting any more holes.

“It’s perfect.” Rick murmured. He pointed to the gate from the yard into the compound. “If we can shut that gate, prevent more from filling the yard, we can pick off these walkers. We’ll take the field by tonight.”

“So how do we shut the gate?” Hershel asked.

“What, no volunteers?” Iris joked. “I’ll go. Just cover me.”

“You sure?” Rick asked slowly. Iris shrugged, but he took that as a yes. “Alright. Glenn, Maggie and Beth, draw as many as you can over there. Pop ‘em through the fence. Daryl, go back to the other tower. Carol, you’ve become a pretty good shot. Take your time, we don’t have a lot of ammo to waste. Hershel, you and Carl take this tower. I’ll cover Iris from here.”

“We match.” Iris murmured, trying to psych herself up to go. She stretched a little bit, preparing to run. Rick turned to her in question. “The prisoners and I. We match.” She repeated, pointing to their blue coveralls and her own, still tied around her waist. Rick gave her a bemused but concerned look, and she waved him off. Glenn handed her two large carabiners that were connected by a chain. They’d been using it so far to close off other fences, so how different could this be?

"Ready?” Rick asked, gripping the chain gate. Iris nodded and he wheeled it open. She took off, ducking behind the tipped prison bus before making a run for it. She took out a few walkers on the way, feeling relatively safe as the others brought down the ones around her. Even when an arrow whizzed right past her head and into a walker behind her. Daryl had the best aim she’d ever seen. The only way she’d mess up is if she did it herself.

Or, so she thought. A bullet pinged into the ground at her feet as she skidded to a stop, dust and gravel blowing up around her. She looked up, wide eyed, at Carol.

“Sorry!” Carol called. Iris huffed, jogging up to the gate, kicking a walker out of the way as she wheeled it shut, clipping it in place. She shot her way into the guard tower right by the gate, closing it shut firmly behind her.

“Light it up!” Daryl called. Those on the outside rained fire down on the field, and Iris quickly joined them as she climbed up the ladder. Rick looked particularly pleased with himself as the undead numbers dwindled, and the last of them hit the ground. There was a beat of silence as they all beheld the field of dead walkers.

“Woo!” Iris cheered, grinning wide. This was a big win for them. She pumped her fist before running back down the guard tower, flinging open the door and running out into the field. She laughed as the others filtered in, equally large grins on all their faces.

“We haven’t had this much space since we left the farm!” Carol cheered, running into the field. Carl followed after her, laughing.

-

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[final-girl96]

Broken World: Chapter Forty

Three Months Later

Winter has set in completely. The nights were bitter cold, and the days weren't much better. We were lucky enough that we found a storage unit a few weeks ago. We stayed there for about a week and went through as many units as we could, taking anything useful. But most importantly, we found winter clothes and blankets. The only reason we left was because walkers got in. There have been nights when we slept outside by a fire. It wouldn't be getting any better anytime soon.

We couldn't stay in one spot for too long before a herd would come through. The countryside wasn't any safer than the city with all the walkers migrating from the cities and more populated areas to the countryside looking for food, aka the living. Finding food for ourselves was a big problem, too. We looted every house and store we came by. Any place that was surrounded by walkers we tried to avoid. Daryl went out hunting several times a day to try and get whatever animal came by his path, but even that was becoming hard to come by.

Right now, we were sitting around a fire in the middle of the woods. T-Dog and Rick were keeping watch. We all stayed close together to help keep us the tiniest bit warmer. We're lucky enough that everyone has at least two blankets, plus we found sleeping bags, which helped a lot. None of us really slept; we were always on guard, ready to move. Tonight seemed calm for now. I had a blanket over my legs, tucked underneath me and one around me, pulled tight under my chin.

When I saw T-Dog and Rick coming back, I took both blankets off and folded them, setting them with my stuff. “I'll take the next watch,” I said. Rick stopped beside me, “I don't want you doing it alone,” he told me. I was about to tell him I would be fine but was cut off by Daryl. “I'll keep watch with her.” Rock nodded his head, clapping his hand on Daryl's shoulder.

Daryl followed me away from the camp site and into the woods. I wanted to get the perimeter of the camp. We had taken cans and hubcaps and strung them on rope so we could put them up around the camp to alert us if walkers or anything else was coming. Daryl and I checked the perimeter in silence and continued that silence as we stood guard. “Ya haven't been eating.” I turned my head and looked over at Daryl. “What?” I asked. I heard him. I just don't want to talk about it.

I've been giving most, if not all, my food to Carl. There have been several times that I've caught him giving his mother his food, and she accepts it. Don't get me wrong, I understand she's eating for two but she shouldn't accept all his food. So I've been giving Carl mine to make sure he eats. He's a growing boy, and he needs the nutrients more. It's not like I don't eat at all. “Ya heard me. I know you give Carl your food.”

“Well, he's a growing boy, Daryl he needs to eat. He gives his mother his portion, and she takes it. I get she's pregnant and eating for two, but she should not be except her son's food. Besides, it's not like I don't eat anything.” I turned my head back to scan the dark woods. “Need to eat more than a small piece of meat or a piece of a protein bar.” I let a sigh out and shook my head. “I'm fine. Besides, it's not like we have a lot of food these days, Daryl.”

“I'll talk to Rick about Carl giving his food to his mother.” I shook my head and walked a little closer to him. “Don't do that. Things are already so tense between him and Lori. We don't need to make it worse.” Just by Daryl's body language, I could tell he was conflicted on what to do. “Rick still needs to know. I know Lori is pregnant, but she shouldn't be taking her son's food.” I shrugged, “I know this. But to be fair, I think Carl is telling her that it's extra.”

Five Months Later

Winter was finally turning into spring. The days were getting warmer, but the nights were still cold. Lori was about to pop, and we were still out on the road. Neither Daryl nor I had to tell Rick about Carl giving his mother his food. Rick had caught him one night, and things didn't end well. He and Lori ended up getting into a fight, but when it was discovered, Carl was actually telling her there was extra food, and things calmed down. Lori felt terrible about taking food from Carl and hasn't done so since. Now, she makes sure he eats first before she eats her own food.

We were bouncing back and forth, trying to find a place to settle. There were a few times we found potential places to stay, but each time, walkers would come. There was a neighborhood, one of those up scale ones that were gated. It looked like everyone had been evacuated early. It had been completely empty. We stayed there for a few weeks until a herd of walkers came through and found a weak spot that we had noticed in the fence that wrapped around the whole neighborhood.

Then, there was an old warehouse that had a chain linked fence around it. The same thing happened, a large herd, about half the size of the one at the farm, maybe a little smaller than half, came through. We were running around in circles at this point. At every turn, we ran into walkers. Like right now, we were in a house we just cleared. Everyone was sitting in the living room. Loei had a jar of peanut butter in her hand, Daryl was plucking the feathers off an owl he had killed, and Carl was opening a can of dog food.

We were all hungry and tired. It was non-stop moving and running. When Rick saw what Carl had, he took it from him and threw it in the fireplace, making everyone look up at the loud noise it made. A few minutes later we were grabbing our things and headed out the door to the cars. Walkers were starting to slowly surround the small farmhouse.

Once we were far enough away, we stopped on the side of the road to look over the map. Like I said before, we were just running in circles. While everyone else waited by the cars or went to the small break to wash up Rick, Daryl and I went on a little walk through the woods.

We were supposed to be hunting for food, but we were following old train tracks instead. Good thing we were because when we got to a small clearing in the trees and weeds, we discovered a prison just on the other side. The three of us looked at each other, coming to the same idea. We could probably take this place and clear the yard and maybe a cell block.

[c1garettesduringsex]

"PLEADING FOR MY LIFE" 𝗢𝗡𝗘

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴅᴀʀʏʟ ᴅɪxᴏɴ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴇʀᴀ: ᴛʜᴇ Qᴜᴀʀʀʏ ᴘʀᴏɴᴏᴜɴꜱ: ꜱʜᴇ/ʜᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ᴅʀᴜɢꜱ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ, ᴡɪᴛʜᴅʀᴀᴡᴀʟ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ,, ᴛᴡᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ. ᴀʙᴜꜱᴇ, ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ ɪꜱꜱᴜᴇꜱ. ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴛᴏᴘ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ.

The first time you remember going to church is when you were ten. your mother tried to hold the reputation of being a normal family in Seattle, although tales of your fathers blind rage and your mothers affairs threaded through out the small town you lived in quickly.

when you were ten, church was different than when you grew up…it used to be pure, normal, innocent. although as you grew older and deeper into addiction it felt sinful to even stand in the door of one. as if you’d burst into flames in a matter of seconds.

Port Had-falls, Seattle. 2003

you didn’t know exactly how it started, but it felt beautiful…calming. as if you couldn’t feel the pain your body was in before. but even standing in the middle of that walkway, watching the statue of Jesus that was a few steps away.

thinking, maybe he’d save you? let you fade away into darkness to finally be free. “what are you doing in here?” the voice wasn’t startling at all, in fact. you hardly even noticed it until she appeared next to you.

“just…y’know, visiting my lord and savior?” you joked, feeling your legs about to give out. you slowly sat down, looking up at the woman. Danielle, one of the only sober people you actually knew. she basically kept you out of trouble in the world.

“you don’t believe in god?” Dani whispered, leaning against a few chairs.

“God would never let…this happen to me, whatever this even is”

Outside Atlanta city, 2010.

Days had been getting better, or maybe worse? better for everyone else but you. Lori’s husband made a miraculous return. and Merle Dixon was probably dead. at least there was one problem gone. then Rick grimes had planned a mission to rescue him? yeah no way..

“Y/N, would you like to help us with some laundry?” Carol asked, placing her hand upon our shoulder.

perhaps, you should probably get into talking to people, now that your brain isn’t so fogged. “sure, be there in a few” and that's how you ended up here, talking about things you missed in the world before now.

“I do miss my Maytag” Carol said first, scrubbing some clothes that belonged to one of the men in the group. “I miss my Benz, my sat nav” Andrea…you didn’t have any opinions on her, no reason to like or hate her really. “i miss my coffee maker, with my duel drip filter. and built in grinder, honey” Jacqui, you really liked Jacqui. “my computer…texting” Amy, Andrea’s younger sister sighed.

“what about you, Y/N?” you missed many things, it was hard to pick just one. “i guess, i miss…my novels the most?” you groan, scrubbing a pear of boxers in the water.

“I miss my vibrator” all the girls around giggled. and before you even thought, you responded with a “same” causing even louder laughter. the next few seconds were a small blur, but at some point. ed showed up,

Ed reminded you of your father…a disgusting man, so when you saw the way he was treating Andrea, his wife and his daughter.

and the second he slapped Carol it was like your mind switched, suddenly you weren’t as weak. or maybe it was the Adrenalin but you punched him..hard. but just like your father, he was stronger. very quickly over-powering you, punching you in the face and causing you to drop to the floor.

your mind was blank, and fogged again until you woke up to screaming, gunshots and shouts of peoples names…walkers had invaded camp, and you couldn’t help. no, you could barely even stand properly without falling onto the cold floor. your consciousness fading in and out. in the morning, you’d managed to sit down on one of the steps of the RV. it was a start.

“what in gods name happened to you.” T-dog winced at the state of your face, causing the attention of countless others.

“Wild possum” you responded, “sum’ wild possum” Daryl grunted in a ‘yeah fucking right’ look, you only gave a stern look in his direction. asshole.

as you looked around you took note of a few things, carrying bodies to piles…and Amy dead, with a sad Andrea crouched over her. poor girl.

“can you stand?” Glenn was probably the person you were closest with, “No, not really. possum really did a number on me” he placed his hand out for you to take, which you do. his warm one in your clammy hot one. “i am just gonna help you sit in a beach chair, outside” his sweet.

“Thanks Glenn” you smile, wincing slightly as he lowered you into the chair. arms wrapping around each other, “aren’t ya’ hot?” Daryl questions, signaling to the long sleeve shirt you never took off

“nope, I am great” fake smiling so bright you swear he actually cringed, but it took him off your back “whatever ya’ say”

in that moment, you left yourself pleading for your life back.

[biggerbetterbat]

WITH YOU [19] A WALKER IN THE ROOM

Daryl Dixon x OC!Charlie Reed

Summary: Charlie and Glenn are watching the barn. The group has shooting lessons with Shane. Charlie opens up to Hershel and shares a moment with Rick.

Warnings: language, thoughts about death

Song: Moondust James Young

A/N: Heloooo :) Are you still with me? Let me know what do you think in the comments. Please like and share. ENJOY AND SEE YOU THURSDAY!

From the early morning- as they both couldn't sleep- Charlie and Glenn were watching the barn, passing the binoculars to each other. Looking at the condition of the place, Charlie wasn't sure if the construction would hold the Walkers inside. They were here all the time, but just now that she knew about them, she lost the feeling of safety.

Goodbye to the three hours of sleep she was getting every night.

"Could you be more obvious?" they heard a voice. "You tell her everything?" Maggie asked, gesturing towards Charlie with furrowed eyebrows.

"Only about his sex life and walkers living in that barn," Charlie answered a little annoyed by the snappish tone of the girl's voice.

Greene rolled her eyes and dropped a basket full of peaches. "Here, enjoy."

"Are you trying to buy my silence with fruit?" Glenn asked immediately.

"Of course not," Maggie answered. "There's also jerky."

Charlie couldn't bear the tension, so she reached for the fruit and leaned on the tree. "Will you please tell us why your dad has a secret barn full of walkers?

"Yeah. It's creepy." Glenn nodded.

Maggie shushed them.

"You know that right?" the Asian boy asked again.

She shushed them again, but this time she stepped closer to Glenn. "Just trust me on this, okay?"

Then she looked at Charlie, so she waved the hand that was holding the fruit. "My lips are sealed. But he sucks at lying."

"I can't even play poker." Glenn sighed. "We tried. It's too much like lying."

"You have to keep it to yourself." Maggie leaned more and said with a worried expression. "Both of you. You have to. Please."

With that, she just turned away and left them. Charlie didn't understand what was so important. Those creatures could kill them, eat them like a snack, and they were just keeping them like pets? Were they too afraid to kill them?

"We're screwed, Charlie." he sighed, looking at the barn.

"Yeah." she nodded. "Come on, peaches boy."

But Charlie decided to leave Glenn with his serious task alone, and trusting that he would keep his mouth shut, she walked to a tent that was far away from their camp. He was lying on his sleeping bag, leafing through some book, not even reading the pages. As soon as he felt her presence, their eyes met and he placed the book flat on his chest.

"You can read?" Charlie fake gasped and earned a roll of his eyes.

"You are so funny," he said sarcastically. "Andrea gave me this as an apology gift."

"She should let you shoot her in apology," she muttered.

"You are more angry with her than me. It was an accident." Daryl shrugged.

"That wouldn't have happened if she had listened to us for one time," she said annoyed. "And I don't buy this she's traumatized by losing her sister thing that Lori was trying to tell me because everyone lost someone. You lost your brother. And I don't see you running around, shooting people."

Daryl felt strange on the inside as she was getting so worked up over him because he was alive and he was through worse things. It felt odd to have someone to have his back."The first time is free."

"I came to check up on you."

"I don't need a nurse," he answered.

"Oh, I've got all the necessary skills. Just say the word, and I'll be there with my first aid kit and a charming bedside manner," she said and he snorted. "You feel better?"

Daryl looked at her as she sat down in his tent, where previously Andrea was sitting. He didn't want to answer that question, because it was pointless and stupid, so he decided to ask his own."You're not going with them?"

By going with them he meant shooting lessons that Shane and Rick came up with, so everyone could defend themselves.

"I do," she answered. "But before this, I want to ask something."

He nodded. "What's up?"

Charlie leaned in and rested elbows on her knees, taking her thumb in between her teeth. She wasn't too sure about his answer to her question- that she didn't even say out loud, but was thinking about it for a while. Their relations were better, but that didn't mean that she felt confident with just storming here and asking him questions.

"You gonna ask me that or what?"

"Would you like to teach me how to use this?" she asked and pointed at the crossbow with her chin.

He narrowed his eyes and switched his eyes between the weapon and the girl. "Why?"

"I think that woman should be able to defend herself."

"You are good with guns, I heard," Daryl said.

"We can't always use guns," she answered. "I thought you would understand."

And he did. However, he knew for a fact that she didn't need his help. She might have fooled everyone, but Daryl knew that Charlie was a strong woman who was capable of everything she wanted. So if she wanted to learn how to use a crossbow she would just take one and learn, she didn't need him. The ask she just made, was just a pretext and he was really confused.

"We will see," he answered. "Once I feel better and we find Sophia, I will think about it."

"Great." she smiled.

"I didn't say yes!"

"But your eyes did!"

"Just try to keep up."

"Oh, I'll keep up, all right. You'll see," she winked at him and left the tent with a smile plastered on her face, she found herself back in their little camp where she saw a little gathering. When she saw Lori's face it was clear as a day that Carl did something bad and they were talking it through. Why did she know that whatever he did was bad? Because it was Carl. He was destroying whatever he touched because he thought he wanted. Also, he was sitting on a bench as if he was waiting for a sentence.

"How the hell did this happen?" Lori asked.

"Well, it's my fault," Dale said with a guilty expression. "I let him into the RV. He said he wanted a walkie, that you sent him for one."

If Lori's eyes could open even wider, then they did as she looked at her husband in an accusatory gesture. "So on top of everything else, he lied. What's he thinking?"

Charlie looked at the boy, who was looking down, and then at the adults. She really missed a whole chapter when she was gone for ten minutes top. "What you did do, Carl?"

"I stole a gun," he whispered ashamed.

"You did what now?" she furrowed her eyebrows.

"I wanted..." See? That's when Charlie stopped listening to his words because he made her point. The boy was just out of bed after he got shot, and he was already causing trouble because he wanted...

"He wants to learn how to shoot. He asked me to teach him." Shane said. "Now, this is none of my business, but I'm happy to do it. It's your call."

Carl stood up from his spot and walked up to his mother with a guilty but firm look in his eyes. "I'm not gonna play with it, Mom. It's not a toy. I'm sorry I disappointed you, but I want to look for Sophia and I want to defend our camp. I can't do that without a gun."

"Shane's the best instructor I know." Rick tried to convince his wife. "I've seen him teach kids younger than Carl."

"Mom, I don't want to die as a boy."

Charlie looked at him and then at Lori, and wished she didn't exist in that moment. She froze in her spot and tried not to breathe, hoping that Rick didn't look at her and wouldn't connect the dots that she was the owner of those wise words. The mother walked up to her kid and held his face. "You will take this seriously and you will behave responsibly. And if I hear from anyone in this camp that you're not living up to our expectations..."

"He won't let you down." Rick interrupted his wife.

"Yeah." Carl nodded and then he turned to face Charlie, showing her two thumbs up.

She rolled her eyes.

Shooting a gun was like riding a bike. You just don't forget how you do. For the first time, Charlie was holding a gun when she was there, it was a gun made out of plastic of course. When she was getting older, her father corrected her posture and told her how she should grip the handle. Then finally when she was around the age of eight, he took her to shoot a real gun. That's why it was nice to review this ability, but she didn't need to practice like everyone else.

"Don't be discouraged," said Shane. "It's probably been a while since you did that. It's okay. You'll hit the target eventually."

Charlie spread her arm to Rick and he immediately knew what she was asking for, so he placed the binoculars in her hand so she could give it to Shane. "Who said I'm discouraged?"

The two men exchanged their looks. "Try this one. It's heavy."

"It doesn't matter, does it?" Charlie took the gun from Shane.

"You get better balance, twice the rounds."

Then she pointed the gun at the target and hit it without the problem. "You better take this before Andrea sees this. She won't let me live."

Charlie was just standing on the side, ready to leave, taking in the surroundings. Rick was encouraging Carl and Lori was keeping an eye on her son. Andrea was moving her hips as she was walking away from Shane in a flirtatious manner.

"How does it feel to hold a real gun again?" Shane asked when he came up to her.

"Like a birthday." she smiled.

"Actually, I'm pretty impressed."

"I know," she answered. "I saw it in your eyes."

He smiled and looked down. "We're passing each other lately."

"Yeah. Well, we all have our chores." she shrugged.

"You want to come back to the farm with me?" Shane asked. "We could catch up."

Charlie looked at Andrea who was closely watching them and then at Lori, who was doing the same way, but just more discreetly. She didn't want to make two enemies at once, besides Shane changed since they came here on the farm. He became cold distant and skeptical of everything. She suspected that was because of the lack of power he had.

"Pass," she answered. "I'll come back with them."

House of Greens was different from what she knew a home was. The family was close with each other and you could feel it in the air. From the entrance, something enhanced the guest and filled their hearts, like love was sprayed and easy to get. Her home was quiet and cold. There was no love in the air or even in the hearts of the members of her family. That's why she felt so awkward around Hershel or Patricia or his daughters, and maybe the atmosphere between them, made her think about the nostalgic past more than before.

"May I interrupt?" Charlie knocked on the doorframe.

"Is something wrong with your friend?" Hershel asked.

"No. God, no," she said. "I just wanted to talk. Do you have a moment?"

The old man looked out of the window as if to show her that at this time of the day, there was nothing to do. "It's not like I have somewhere to be. Please, come in."

Charlie entered his room and sat down on a chair in the corner. She was looking around nervously as if she wasn't sure if she should even be there.

"I know you're not sure about us," she said. "And I know that you want us out."

"Hmm," he looked at her. "Are you surprised? They never thought about shooting before."

"I understand. You're the boss here, I get it," she said. "It's your house, your rules. My dad raised me and my brothers with the same thought." Charlie looked at him, still standing. "But those people are good. And they need a place in your home, just a small place even on the floor."

"Is any of those people related to you?" he narrowed his eyes.

"No," she shook her head. "I met them maybe a month after the outbreak."

"Then why do you care about them so much?"

"Glenn helped me out of Atlanta and he didn't even know me," she answered. "He took me in. Invited me to their camp, and he believed that I could be trusted. And he saved my life. They all did. I was alone and they took care of me."

Hershel nodded his head, still looking at her with this strange look of his. He perched on his bed and leaned in her direction. "May I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Why do you want to stay here?"

Charlie felt triggered by the question. The answer was hard to say out loud, and nobody heard this story before. She was lying to those people, trying to cover the past that she was ashamed of. But she couldn't lie to Hershel, that was out of the question. He was the boss and she wanted to stay under his roof, but to make this possible, she had to be honest.

She sighed. "I just want to protect people when I can."

"What do you mean?"

"I made all the wrong choices I could," she confessed. "So now I would like to have my redemption."

If she could turn back time, she would do everything differently. What she would have changed? First, she would pack up her stuff and run when there was time for that. She would take her family and drive them as far from the cities as possible. Second thing, she would have never recorded that statement. She would tell the truth somewhere, she would stop people from coming there.

"I'm a bad person, Hershel," she added. "So...Please...Let me save the people outside your house. Just so I could redeem myself. Please."

Hershel nodded his head.

"We all make mistakes. That's a human nature," he said. "Maybe that was needed, so you could change and help people. You lost your family, but maybe you can gain a new one. And this time, you could do something."

Charlie wiped the tears that fell from her eyes away.

"And you are not a bad person," he said and touched her hand.

But she was. She never showed even a bit of heart to her younger brother, because that's how she wanted to prepare him for the real world. She was self-centered and that led to the moment when she was alive and everyone she cared about was dead. Because she cared about her family. Maybe that should be enough sign to end her life and reunite with them- if anything like an afterlife existed.

It was dark already when she was coming back from Greene's house. She felt her heart thumping in her chest, it was stopping and starting to beat each time she heard even the slightest rustle in the grass. She didn't see any Walkers around, but what if the one in the barn found a way out? There could be a lot of things hiding in the darkness- like a cop that came back from the dead.

She was almost in her tent when she saw a person sitting under one of the trees. "Oh...sorry. I didn't want to interrupt you."

"It's okay," he said, looking at her. "You want to sit?"

Charlie stopped for a moment, thinking about the answer. She didn't know him, he was a stranger basically, but something in his eyes told her that he needed to talk with someone who didn't know him.

So she sat down at a considerable distance from Rick Grimes, a man that was a mystery for now.

"You helped Lori with Carl in the quarry?"

"I took care of him and Sophia," she said. "But I don't think I would call it a help."

"The first night he couldn't keep quiet about you." Rick smiled, looking at her. "I think you're close just because of his stories."

Ouch.

Little did he know that Charlie absolutely despised his kid. If she could leave him somewhere in the woods...she would do it. That was the truth, she wasn't a perfectionist and she wasn't Carl's friend. So to silence her guilty thoughts she decided to defend herself.

"I think you should probably know," she said. "The words about dying as a boy? I said them to him."

Rick looked at her guilty expression with a face that Charlie just couldn't read. "And you're right."

She furrowed her eyebrows.

"In a world like this...everyone should defend themselves and don't expect someone to do it for them."

"Lori wasn't happy with that."

"Lori is a mother. You will see once you have your own kids."

"I think, one pregnant woman is enough," she said without thinking. "Oh...sorry."

He nodded his head again, looking at the ground deep in his thoughts. "I should be happy about the kid," he said. "When we found out about Carl I was walking five meters above the ground."

Charlie smiled together with him at the memory.

"But now it's harder. Considering the circumstances," he added. "You think it's mine or Shane's?"

If Charlie had something in her mouth she would spit it or choke on it. What the hell was going on in this household? So Rick knew about the affair? Did Lori tell him? Maybe Shane did it? What if Rick didn't know and he was just looking for a confirmation? What should she say?

So she stayed with good old: "Um...I have no idea what are you talking about."

"Come on," he said and leaned his head on the tree. "I knew it for a very long time. She told me about it today, but I knew."

"You were a hell of a good cop." she smiled and brought a smile to his lips. "But I think it doesn't matter."

Grimes looked at her.

"As long as the baby is loved, I guess," she added. "And it will be loved."

Rick tightened his lips and nodded his head. He touched her wrist gently, but when she didn't move it away he squeezed it. And at that moment Charlie felt sorry for him because he was just a guy. Not a man from the steel, not a hero she thought of him. He was just a guy with a big heart.

That's why she touched his hand and patted it in a supportive gesture.

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[theteasetwrites]

The Negan Love /Maggie Hate these past few seasons is proof history repeats itself.

In season one is was Shane Love/Lori Hate. They loved Shane cause he 'adapted quickly' and he was 'misunderstood'. They hated Lori cause she cheated on Rick and hated Shane for telling her Rick died. They loved Shane even after he almost killed Rick (THREE TIMES!) and sexually assaulted Lori, but hated lori for being upset with shane and making human mistakes.

Maggie hates Negan for what he did to Glenn, but people say he's a *gag* sigma male, that Negan changed and Maggie needs to get over it.

It's just misogyny. Hating a female character cause said female character dislikes a male character for, in her eyes, ruining her life. But loving that male character who's made significantly worse choices.

Omg is this a really big thing? I haven’t seen any of it but I totally believe it. People are always trying to demonize female characters while praising male characters who are way worse than them. Also Maggie literally did nothing wrong??? Like ever???

And yeah I can definitely see the parallels with the Shane and Lori thing and now the Negan and Maggie thing. Shane was such a shitty character and I have absolutely no time for anyone who likes him sorry. Same with Negan tbh. I mean Negan is at least entertaining but he is also a piece of shit (let’s not forget that he coerced women into sleeping with him, as our king Ezekiel so eloquently pointed out).

Negan apologists (along with Carol apologists tbh) are so weird man. Who tf thinks that man is a sigma male?? He’s literally so pathetic. I hate him lmao. Season 11 hasn’t even made me like him more, it’s just made him even more pathetic to me. I actually liked him better when he was a villain. Rick should’ve killed him. The fact that he didn’t is honestly one of the things that I dislike about Rick. Not that I fully dislike him, but I definitely have criticisms.

It’s definitely misogyny. Lots of misogyny in this fandom (probably because there are a lot of dudes in it). Maggie has every right to hate Negan and she should NEVER forgive him. That’s just how it is.

[providingstability]

i thought i lost you! / @notyourgovnr

once   her   baby,   carl   and   maggie   have   left   the   cell,   lori   allows   herself   to   show   her   emotions   metaphorically   on   her   sleeve   after   she   sees   rick.   lori   never   wanted   carl   in   the   room   and   she   is   thankful   that   rick   was   not   able   to   be   with   them.   after   all,   she   had   a   feeling   that   she   or   the   baby   would   not   survive.   fortunately,   lori's   worst   fears   did   not   come   true   ---   her   baby   is   alive   and   is   not   a   walker.

"   you   almost   did.   if   it   wasn't   for   maggie   ----   the   baby   and   i   wouldn't   be   here   right   now.   "

she   does   not   regret   putting   her   baby   as   a   priority   over   her   own   life.   lori   knows   damn   good   and   well   that   she   would   make   the   exact   same   choice   all   over   again.   the   nameless   baby   has   to   survive   for   all   of   them,   the   baby   deserves   a   future.   both   of   her   children   are   survivors   and   they   will   beat   this   world   --   even   if   lori   does   not.

the   unofficial first   lady   is   in   so   much   pain,   however,   she   refuses   to   tell   rick.   after   all,   she   can   already   tell   that   he   is   worried   about   her.   it   is   a   nice   change   from   his   latest   actions   of   seeming   like   he   doesn't   want   anything   to   do   with   her.   "   rick,   i'm   so   sorry   ----   i   made   you   believe   that   you   had   to   kill   your   best   friend.   i'll   never   forgive   myself   for   how   i   made   a   mess   of   things   with   you   and   shane   ---   and   with   us.   i   made   a   vow   to   you   years   ago   for   better   or   for   worse   and   i   know   i   haven't   been   the   best   mother   or   wife   but   i'm   gonna   do   better.   "   lori   loves   him   with   every   fiber   of   her   being.   she   hopes   that   one   day,   rick   would   feel   the   same   way   about   her   again   as   well.

[ivegotalongmemory]

Twd 11x23 thoughts (I know I'm not emotionally prepared for this) ((spoilers)):

-it doesn't feel like this is the 2nd to last episode, I can't believe it

-that shot of all the weapons in one box is iconic honestly

-lori, CARL, RICK AND MICHONNE mention, yeah I knew I wouldn't be able to handle this

-she put the hat on R.J's head😭

-rosita is gonna be a ruthless bitch this episode right? Please give me that

-oh dianne is here? Where has she beeeeeeen all this time

-that tiny little crumb of ezekiel saying goodbye to nabila and gracie?? Literally a crumb but I love it

-daryl literally cannot say no to Judith can he. And then there's lil r.j who just has to get passed around between the babysitters

-yay mercer go fuck shit up<3

-"is that your faith talking?" "In you, yes" okay look I never cared about rosita/gabriel but I have to admit that was cute

-i feel so bad for aaron and his lil group, like everyone else is back together and then there's these guys still out here, they better be back with the main group before the end of the show. Actually I just had a depressing thought, what if they all die and never make it

-"yet I smile" stop I will cry, ezekiel really did beat all the odds

-"you all are better than me" okay look I am not a negan apologist and I dislike how some people literally suck his dick and forget everything he did, but i do love his arc lately of being self aware and knowing that he did shit and trying to be better for no reason other than to be decent, that little conversation with ezekiel really did pull at my heartstrings

-omg did Maggie hear all that too?

-all these conversations about the Grimes fam are making me emotional

-lmao @ mercer and yumiko acting their asses off in front of this other commonwealth girl

-LYDIA OH MY GOD???? NOT HER

-oh my god don't cut to another scene and leave me hanging like that???

-jerry yelling "dude stop" in the most dire of situations is the most Jerry thing ever

-that scene was almost unbearable, wtf

-lydia is gonna regret all the time she spent hanging out with Aaron because now they're twinning

-jokes aside, oh my god, I mean I'm glad she hasn't just been killed off completely because it could have been worse but yikes

-so sick seeing the whole group working together to infiltrate, reminds me of the earlier seasons

-variant walkers u are cool but this is NOT THE TIME to mess things up

-oh no eugene is fucked

-oh he's not fucked, GO EUGENE!

-i love u jerry please dont die but also i feel like hes gonna because he just said the cursed words "see you on the other side"

-ahh yes the usual killing of all the redshirts while all the mains somehow dont get shot

-and now mercer being arrested? oh this is all going to shit isn't it

-i love a good gunfight though

-also just thought how terrifying it must be for connie who literally can't hear any of this???

-OKAY GIRLIES THIS IS WILD PAMELA WHAT THE FUCK??? Judith literally shoved maggie out of the way to save her?? Stop it rewind right now

-but love how everyone went absolutely psychotic trying to shoot Pamela after she did that, it's what she deserves

-negans reaction to the variant walker just about sums it up

-love luke running up with a smile but like sorry bro we don't have time for smiles and reunions right now

Okay holy shit this whole post was a mess but

-judith shot? everyone desperate to kill Pamela? some guy accidentally opened the gates and let the walkers in? the walkers climbing the walls? Everyone penned in surrounded by the massive horde? Mercers been arrested? Aaron, Lydia, Jerry and elijah all still out there somewhere? We still don't know wtf happened to the oceanside people? now this is the kind of absolute chaos I want for the finale! Also I'm so glad amc apparently aren't releasing the finale early because for once in my life I can avoid being spoiled a whole week early

[onlyheretoread2]

Lovin' my storm part 7

The group made there way into the prison and ones it was cleared storm went back to retrieve every one else.

A very pregnant Lori said:is it safe?

Rick: this cell block is

Hershal: what about the rest of the prison?

Beth : we sleep in the cells?

Rick : tomarro we will search for the infirmary ,cafeteria and armory but right now we're good.

Daryl: we ain't sleeping in no damn cage.well take the perch .

Daryl and storm brought jaxon up to the perch but storm didn't like it one bit.

Storm: baby this ain't safe.what we gunna do up here with a nearly crawling infant?

Daryl : I ain't sleeping in no cage do what ya want.

Storm: okay then.

Storm then grabs jaxon and her bag and just walks away from Daryl. Seeing this he immediately hops up and catches her.

Daryl: what are ya thinkin . I can't do the cage I'm sorry.

Storm: there's guard towers. Lots of other private places. But do what u want like u told me.

Storm then began to jaostil jaxon as he was getting heavy

Daryl: come here lil man.

JAXON reaches for his father so he takes him.

Storm: u got him ? I'ma find somewhere private to sleep. Do what ya want.

With that storm walks away . Tired of Daryl shooing her away she retreats to the guard tower they made love in the night before. She sat down and just began to think.

"I'm so tired of this. What did I do ? JAXON deserves better."

Daryl: got steam commin out cha ears woman.

Storm: I see u passed him off again

Rolling her eyes and stands up to leave.

Daryl stops her and says"yeah so I could talk to u. You act pissed off all the time and I'm tired of it."I gave ya what ya wanted"

Storm : excuse me?

Daryl: you were bitchin last night talking bout I don't look at cha. How you think I don't want cha. Storm IV loved you for over 5 years . Jaxkn is the best thing that's ever happened to me but I need help. I don't know how to do this husband and father shit. Merle....

Storm: of course blame merle

Daryl: damn it shit up and LISTIN.

Storm: no ..... I'm tired of you blaming him for you not caring. You've been away from him for a fuckin year and you still don't care. I stayed thru his bullshit remember. All the time he'd drag u away at 2 am and you'd call for bail. Everytime u got drunk and fought who bailed you out? What did merle do ? Laugh in ur face and call u pussy whipped . Worse when he was high. .... Jaxon and me are here . He's god noes where and don't get me wrong I hope we find him but you gotta start at least pretending to care. I didn't make that little boy on my own . He need us weather were together or not.

Daryl: what ya mean by that .?

Storm: I feel like I do nothin but bug the fuk outa you and you don't make it easier telling me to do what I want. I want the man I married. The man that cried when the doc told me why I was sick. ..

Daryl:I'm still him. I just need help. You deserve better than a dumbass redneck.

Storm: I deserve what I want and I want Daryl Dixon back.

Storm said with tears briming.

Daryl:I'm right here . You don't bug me I just wanna keep ya safe. I wanna be with you but I can't sleep in a damn cage.

Daryl looks around the tower

"look why not this tower. Jax can sleep in the park n play we can bring a mattress up. I'm sorry for the way IV been .

Strom: if your struggling baby tell me. Don't shut me out. Don't leave.

Daryl:I would never leave.

Storm: you already did. Several times before Jax you'd get pissed and I wouldn't see u for days. Merle would tell me you were getting fucked or locked up so I just learned to live with it.

Daryl: we do find him I'ma beat his ass.

Storm: don't not for me . Just be here hold me...

Kiss ....

Be a dad..,.

kiss...

And when you want to , NOT Because IM BITCHIN, fuck me till I can't walk.

Kiss ....

Daryl: I can't do that.

Daryl snakes his hands around storms waist. He begins to suck and kiss her sweet spot as storm pushes him off.

Storm: let's go find our kid. He needs to eat.

Storm and Daryl walked to the prison hand n hand and as they walked in they found Jax with gamma carol and auntie Sofie . He spotted them from the highchair and stuck both arms way in the air.

Storm:hey bubba.

Jax got happy talking to his parents . Daryl then went to retrieve the pack n play from Maggie's car and set it up for them in the tower .

When Jax was done eating he drifted off so Sofia took him to the tower for. Nap.

While Sofia babysat storm and Daryl found some gear off of one of the guards. Storm,Daryl,Rick,hershals,Maggie,and glen went to clear the tombs. As they approached what they believed to be the cafeteria a heard shows and hershals get pinned and bit. The group pulls him into the cafeteria and ends up severing his leg.

Daryl: duck

When storm turns around there are several prisoners standing staring. One with long greedy hair stares a lil to long at storms breasts and Daryl goes off.

Daryl: watch the eyes!

The prisoner then gets a good look at storm.

Tomas: well if it ain't lieutenant Dixon. Remember me sweetheart.

Rick: we gotta go! Daryl! Storm!

The group takes off and returns to the cell block. Hershal is tended to by carol and Maggie including Lori. Storm leaves telling Daryl she wants to check on jaxon but he knows better. This is the Tomas Ramos that shot storm in the face with a 5o caliber hand gun. The same ass hole that almost took his wife from him.

Daryl: back up Tomas.

Rick: storm good?

Daryl nods

After a Convo with the prisoners Daryl and Rick go to the tower and discover a pale almost catatonic storm. Rick asks what's going on but gets no answer.turning to daryl

"babe just tell um"

Storm turns over and starts

Strom: that's the asshole that did this( she points to her scar.)

Rick : ok?....

Storm: I was a lieutenant in Atlanta metro swat. Tomas was a kingpin. We raided his stach house and that asshole pinned me and usedy own fuckin gun to shoot me.

Rick: shit storm. Were gunna handle him .

Storm: thank you.

After the prisoners were taken to another cell block. Daryl returned to her and said Tomas attacked Rick and is gone. Storm was so glad.

_____

The next week hershals was up and walking . The day hershals took his first steps storm was in the courtyard playing with Jax.

Carl challenged hershal to a race but hershals politely declined .

Carl suddenly screamed "walkers"!

The men by the fence scrambled to get to the top screaming for there loved ones.

Storm got hershals ,carol and beth into a cage and handed jaxon to carol. She then pulled her gun and began to take out walkers with t.

The walkers just kept coming so t and storm ran into the tombs where t was attacked so he pushed storm into a cell . Blocking the door with a walker.

_______

Daryl finally met up with the group taking out walkers as he went. He looked everywhere for storm but only spotted jaxon thru the cage with carol. He opened the door and retrieved his son.

Daryl: where mommy bud? Huh? Where'd she go

Beth:her and t ran that way

Hershal : the tombs.

Carol: I got lil ax you go.

Daryl handed the crying infant over and proceeded to the tombs.

He and Rick searched until they discovered t eatin alive. Daryl searched the halls till he came across storms desert eagle. He picked it up realizing there was blood all over the handle. His heart sank to his stomach

_______

Back outside carol rocked Jax realizing he may have just lost his mother. Daryl kept her gun in his waist band. Besides Jax and him it was her most prized item.

Daryl kept his emotions in check not wanting to cry in front of his son. Rick began to dish out order when Maggie appeared .

Crying infant in her hands Carl was pale and Maggie was covered in blood. Daryl instantly new what happned

Rick had a full blown melt down.

Hershal: let me see the baby

Maggie walked over with the baby and handed her to Beth . Hershal checked her over.

Daryl:we got anything else a baby can ? Jaxsons out .

Hershal: good news is she's healthy . Bad news we need to find formula fast. For her and by judging Jaxon's cry's him.

Daryl: you got him? He asked facing carol

Carol: of corse

Daryl:I'm goin on a run. My kid ain't starving and neither is she.

He kissed Jaxon's head and headed to his bike with Maggie. They found an old day care that thankfully was stocked. They got formula. Diapers clothes even some toys for jaxon. Daryl began to shead tears believing his wife was gone.

Once they returned to the prison Daryl held his son the put him with carol again as he picked up the screaming girl. Jaxon's bottle was handed to him and he held it like a big boy so Daryl helped the newborn.

Daryl: she gotta name yet?

Carl: I don't know was thinking jaqui or maybe storm.

Daryl: we'll see . You like that you like that lil ass kicker?

Daryl: am I right?

______

That night he layed in his tower on there mattress with jaxon fast asleep. He dreamed of storm and sobbed as he simply wanted his wife back.

______

4 days later Carl and Oscar joined Daryl on his never ending hunt. They approached the original hallway and Oscar pointed out a walker by a door that was opening and closing on its own.

Daryl: well come back for it.

Daryl hadn't slept in almost a week at this point. He simply wanted to find storm. Or what's left of her. He sobbed at night and let carol watch lil ax through out the day.

Vowing to not stop till she was found. Or a least whatever's left.

After having a discussion with Carl about how his mother died. Carl was a happier kids. Oscar found some slippers and was extatic. A walker tried to sneak up on Daryl but he took it out. When he tried to leave he noticed a nice in the walkers throat. He pulled it out to reveal a hand cared handle switch blade with a thunder storm on the handle.

DARYL: THATS STORMS kNIFE

he shooed Oscar and Carl back wanting some time to grieve. He sat by the door with the dead walker and became more and more irritated. He finally screamed

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!

The door by him slammed louder now. So he put storms nife between his teeth. Ripped open the door but was met with the brightest green eyes hes ever seen.

Storm : hey stranger

She said before passing out. Daryl scooped her up bridal style and ran back to the cell block. Screaming for hershal . Hershal inspected storm and was released she only was dehydrated. He hooked up an IV and allowed storm to eat once she's awake.

Storm woke up hearing babbling and looked over to see her son in his father's lap stacking blocks.

She coughed and Daryl was by her side with Jax in an instant.jax reached for his mama and she snatched him to her. Daryl embraced his wife and said...

"I'ma go find Rick"

"ok"

Jax: ma. Ma

Daryl and storm looked at each other with huge smiles.

Storm spent the rest of the day cuddling up to Jax and when Daryl returned he had carol and Rick there. Carol threw herself to storm. Rick simply asked Daryl how?

After telling him Daryl carried storm with Jax on her up to there tower. Daryl had to help Rick so he left stop there cautiously .

After a few hours Daryl returned with a dad expression.

He informed storm that gless and Maggie were taken prisoner and Rick wants to retrieve them but they both needed to go.

Storm: Carol's goin right?

Daryl:yea y

Storm: I'll get us ready lil man can keep gamma company while we get um.

Daryl just smiled .

After several hours everyone loaded up and went to where the woman Rick found by the fence said go. Jax stayed in the car with carol.

Glen and Maggie were rescued but Daryl and storm received some news.

Glenn: Storm ..,. Daryl this... Was merle

Storm and Daryl both froze.

"U sure "storm adked

"yea he's a lieutenant or somethin" Maggie said

"we gotta get him" storm and Daryl both said .

"no not now.we will return but we gotta go"Rick stated

"he's his brother!" Storm yeled

"fuck him we will come back " she stated hold Daryl's face.

Daryl pulled storm to the side

"I'ma go get him u get them safe. I'll come back"

"you better" storm said while kissing daryl

The group made there way out but Daryl lingered. As storm was climbing over the wall a bullet hit her rib . She fell from the wall unconscious. When she woke up she was in the back of the car. Carol was in the front crying. JAXON was whining and Daryl was gone.

DARYL WAS GONE

"where is he"

"storm I'll explain later " "u need hershals" Rick said trying to calm jax

Where the fuck is my husband!

Stormed was now screaming.

"he left" glen started."said it was always merle and him before this. Told us to make you go to the prison. Didn't say if he was coming back"

Storm began to open the car door only to have Oscar snatch it back.

As the prison approached and then the car parked storm asked carol and Rick to watch the baby as she locked herself in the tower . Little did she know Rick was hiding something.

______

[littlegodzilla]

Hii!! Next chapter here!!

Things are moving a little faster, we are getting closer to the end, our protagonists seem to be getting to know each other better, but things can always get complicated, can't they? We'll see.

Enjoy!!

Your name Masterlist.

**

Your Name.

Daryl Dixon x Reader.

Mini series chapter 7.

Warnings: TWD gore. Angst. Fluff.

Words: 3400.

Summary: The things start to change a little.

Taglist: @phoenixblack89 @browneyes528 @lilythemadqueen @darylsgarden @thefemininemystiquee @green-eyedladywrites @hail-yourselves @ruinedbythehobbit @xxtinasxxblog @ravenwingsandfoxpaws @spenciepoo338 @b-tchyouainthiphop @minervadashwood @darylssluttt

≈≈≈

Ignore Andrea, but the gif is perfect for this chapter.

≈≈≈

Part 7.

The next day you aren't the only one who wakes up with a hangover, which comforts you as you are unable to walk in a straight line. No one has a good face when you enter the room to have some breakfast, the atmosphere is strange and some look uncomfortable. You greet them all with a small smile and sit down in a free chair. Your gaze connects with Daryl but he quickly averts it. You frown as you don't understand what's wrong with him, you don't have time to ask either, right away you notice Lori is uncomfortable, Shane brusque, and Andrea directly asks the questions no one wants to hear or Jenner to answer.

The CDC is not safe, the air is running out and the place is closing in on itself, it won't let you out if Jenner doesn't give the order. Everyone is getting nervous and aggressive, Daryl has picked up an axe and is angrily unloading it at the door.

"You won't get it open with that." Jenner tells him, Daryl turns furiously towards him.

"But yer head will!" he goes straight for him, but you get in the way.

"Daryl get a hold of yourself!" you ask him with a look full of fear and anguish.

He stops in his tracks, it's not the first time he's raised an axe at someone's head, but this time Rick isn't pointing his gun at him, you're in the way and that's now much worse, because he remembers the night before and that makes him take a step back and snap like a cat.

"Ain't tell me what to do." He growls and goes back to the door to try to open it again.

On another occasion you would have insulted him and told him to fuck off, but now is not the time to worry about Daryl Dixon's tantrums so you return to the group trying to reassure the women in the group, to no avail. They finally manage to talk some sense into the man, but he doesn't want to go anywhere and apparently neither do Jacqui and Andrea. You stay behind too trying to convince them, Dale also stays with Andrea because he's not going to let any of them stay, but you don't want anyone to die. It's not fair.

"What yer doin' here?" you feel a tug on your arm and see that Daryl is still holding the axe in his hand. "Wanna die?"

"N-No, but I don't want you to..."

"They've decided!" he shushes you and pulls you again. "I've lost Merle, yer ain't gettin' rid of me that easily."

You know he's reminding you to hurt you, but his hand gripping you so tightly, as if he really fears losing you, eclipses any other thoughts. Rick uses a grenade to get out of the building and you all run at high speed to your cars. At the last moment you see that Dale and Andrea are behind you. But Jacqui not. The building explodes as tears stream down your face, Daryl uses his body to shield you from the shockwave and the two of you crash into the door of the van. It's not a violent impact as you're already leaning against it, but feeling Daryl's body pressed against yours makes you remember something that the alcohol had erased from your head. You remember the kiss you gave him last night and your heart freezes. Your face turns cherry red feeling the warmth of Daryl's body grab you. His hand holds your head against his shoulder, covering your ears from the shockwave, your hands close tightly over his plaid shirt as you feel his breath on your neck.

When everything seems to calm down, you break the embrace slowly, again your gazes connect for a few seconds. His blue eyes roam your face at full speed, for a few seconds they fix on your lips and Daryl rises like a spring. Your heart beats so hard that your chest aches.

You don't have time to process what is happening, the explosion and fire is drawing the dead still lurking in the city and those that are charred move crawling on the ground. You pick up and get into the cars and drive away, looking for a safe place to make a new plan, think about where to go, plan how to conserve your remaining stock and especially your fuel.

While the men deliberate what might be best for everything, you watch as Daryl slowly makes his way among them. Although his relationship has not gotten off to a good start with Rick, whatever happened when they went to Atlanta together has changed his perspective towards the sheriff, he is still wary of him, instinctively, but also curious and takes orders from him.

You like the new personality you are discovering about him.

You turn your attention back to the girls, Andrea is still a little shaken by everything that is going on, but you focus on Lori and Carol. Both women have nearly lost their children and although they haven't said anything, they look upset.

"Are you guys okay?" you walk over to them. "How are Sophia and Carl?"

"Scared, like everyone else." Carol whispers, smiling very slowly. "But it's a miracle we got out of there."

"Jenner couldn't hold us back, he knew it wasn't fair..." You try to cheer them up a little.

"Are you okay?" Lori asks you suddenly and you don't understand what she means. "Daryl came in looking for you when he realized you weren't coming with us... Is everything okay?" Then she gives you that look you understand and again your cheeks take on a cherry color. How many of them think you guys are a couple? Since when?

"Oh no, I mean, yeah, but it's not that, Daryl... we're just friends, I got him into all this, so keeping me alive is my punishment, I guess..." You explain to them and again tug hard on the sleeves of your t-shirt.

I've lost Merle, yer ain't gonna get rid of me that easily.

His words are still in your head, you sigh and hear the women start talking to Carl and Sophia so you decide to join the conversation to clear your mind.

They finally agree to go to Fort Benning as Shane had suggested from the beginning, by getting rid of several cars you have enough fuel to get there, plus Daryl takes the motorcycle to save a little more, Rick along with Lori, Carol and the kids ride in the first car, then the caravan with Dale, Andrea, Shane and Glenn and T Dog takes Daryl's van. Your first reaction is to talk to Daryl to find out what he wants to do, but you remember again that you kissed him and he's been on the run ever since, so you make the decision to ride in the RV so as not to bother him.

The trip is quiet and boring, everything is silent, tense, you only hear the rattle of the old caravan and Glenn's thoughts out loud looking for the best route to get to the military base as soon as possible and not waste fuel. Andrea is deep in thought and Shane does not look good. He has a nasty cut on his neck, but when you ask him about it, he grunts and goes back to focusing on disassembling and assembling his weapon capturing your attention and Andrea's.

That and all of a sudden the trailer starts making a strange noise until it finally comes to a complete stop. Dale curses under his breath.

"I warned Rick it wouldn't last!" he snorts once again getting out of the vehicle.

Rick has stopped a little further ahead, even if the trailer was in full condition, in front of you a graveyard of cars opens up blocking your way. You need to fix it and at the same time another road to continue the journey. Daryl appears between the cars with his motorcycle and shakes his head.

"The traffic jam stretches all over the road, even if we move the cars out of the way we will lose a lot of time and I doubt we will make any progress."

"Well, thanks Daryl..." Rick tells him sincerely.

Daryl nods and pulls away a bit to park so as not to disturb. Again there's that complicity between the two men that makes you smile. Somehow Daryl is detoxing from the shitty character Merle had that he emulated.

"We'll look for a spare for the caravan, plus I'm sure in these cars we can find some things we can use for the trip besides fuel. We'll stock up and be on our way." Rick proposed to which you all agreed.

Actually rummaging through the lost items of other people who might be dead or trying to survive is a bit violent at first, but then you try to get that idea out of your head and grab some bags with clothes and other things that might be useful to you. Everyone has scattered down the road on their own quest. Leaving the clothes inside the caravan you approach Daryl. It's possible that you made a mistake the night before, but you need to talk it over with him, you don't want tension to build up between you.

Not like this.

"Daryl..." You call out to him as he pokes his head out from inside a car.

"What?" He looks at you with eyes dwarfed by the sun.

"Can we talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about." He's blunt and you can sense he's frustrated, you sigh and clench your hands nervously.

"I'm sorry about the kiss last night." You whisper, but he's heard you perfectly, his body tensing like a rope. "I-I was drunk... I guess I got carried away feeling safe after everything that had happened and..."

"So what, ya go around making out with all the guys around ya?"

"No! I-I'm just saying that I didn't... I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable..."

"I'm not."

"Then why are you ignoring me?"

"Y'ain't the fuckin' center of the fuckin' world, y'know?" He walks slowly towards you. "Ain't think yer so important, not to me or anyone else. No one is important in the world. Not anymore." He growls again and shoves you away with a shove with his shoulder as he walks past you.

You try to calm down, you know that when you try to confront Daryl, he always lashes out like a wounded animal. You've apologized, you think you've done the right thing. Just because Daryl is an attractive man and cares for you makes you feel good, it doesn't give you the right to kiss him like you did. You return to the group when you see Dale make a frightened gesture on the roof of the caravan, suddenly you see a huge group of infected appear along the road and you quickly hide to go unnoticed. Your goal is to get back to the caravan to be safe, Daryl pulls you to dodge one of the infected by sticking an arrow in his head and throwing him to the ground carefully not to make noise, he gestures for you to be quiet and gives you his knife. You tremble at the weight of the weapon in your hand, but nod as he walks away. Everything is chaotic for a few seconds and things don't get any better when you see Sophia running off being chased by several of those infected.

The image of Noah appears in your mind and your heart skips a beat before you realize what you're doing; you jump the guardrail with Daryl's knife still in your hand and run after the girl wanting to help her. You're not the only one, Rick and Daryl have also gone looking for her, but after Grimes has pulled her to safety, Sophia has disappeared. Agitation overcomes you. She's just a little girl, scared and lost, Rick has given her directions on how to get back on the road with the others, but she hasn't returned.

"My little girl is out there, all alone." Carol whimpers and it breaks your heart.

"We'll go out and look for her, follow her tracks." You try to comfort her, Rick, Daryl nods adjusting his crossbow against his chest.

"Gimme the knife." He tells you and you shake your head. "...Gimme." He uses your name and that makes you shudder, it sounds strange and at the same time good in his mouth.

"No, we need to know how to defend ourselves and..."

"Now is not the time, that girl is lost." He shushes you.

"We'll look for her between all of us. Look around here in case she comes back, Daryl come with me." Rick asks you and the two men leave without adding anything else.

The knife is still in your hands but you feel as if you have lost the argument with him. Shane walks up to you, since Lori ignores him his mood has changed.

"You won't kill any zombies with that." He tells you and pulls out a gun. "This is more effective."

"With this you avoid the noise and the zombies don't pick up our movements."

"If you're lucky to get close enough to stab it."

"They're slow and clumsy, there's an advantage when they only come one at a time." You insist, but he mumbles away.

"Let's check the whole road, maybe he's lost with all these cars out here cutting through." Dale decides.

"We need to fix that arm of T-Dog's first" You say seeing him bleeding. "Let's go to the trailer."

It's getting dark when Rick and Daryl get back on the road, but Sophia is still not with them. Carol can't stop crying, Lori is anxious and Carl is also nervous because he wants his friend back, but there's no sign of the little girl. Daryl gives some pills from Merle's arsenal on the bike to T Dog and the man seems to recover a bit, but he needs rest.

***

At night you can't sleep, too many things are still on your mind and it takes your sleep away again and again. Hearing Carol crying doesn't help you at all either. You sit on the hood of one of the abandoned cars while looking up at the sky. You have to admit that now without all the road lights and big cities, everything is so much more pure and beautiful, even though death is walking the Earth.

"What yer doin' out here?" Daryl's voice startles you for a moment, but soon you calm down.

"I couldn't sleep..." You mumble with a shrug, Daryl watches you and hums nodding his head. "And you?"

"Same thing, hearing that woman cry doesn't help me relax." He shrugs. "I'm gonna explore the place a bit, maybe we missed something..."

"Now? At night?" You look at him worriedly.

"Wanna join me?"

The first word that comes to your mind is no, that it would be too dangerous and you should stay with the others, but you know that no matter how much you tell him that, Daryl is going out anyway and for once since you've known each other, he's proposing that you accompany him. You nod, getting out of the car to follow in his footsteps and pull off the road to the side.

The night is completely quiet, you can barely hear Daryl's soft and light footsteps followed by your awkward movements, try to keep quiet, walking beside him, he seems very calm but his eyes don't stop observing everything around him.

"Do you think Sophia is okay?" you dare to ask after a few minutes of walking.

"I'm sure she got scared and looked for somewhere to hide." He shrugs.

"H-how can you be so calm?"

"Because they're kids." He pauses turning to look at you. "Kids disappear and appear constantly. I was much younger than her when I got lost in the woods."

"You got lost? Merle didn't..."

"Merle wasn't home, like so many other times and my father...well, he was never available." He sighs and you look at him curiously. "I was bored at home and decided to go out into the woods to explore on my own. I got lost. I was gone almost a full day and when I came back I made myself a sandwich and went into my room. No one noticed I was gone."

"Oh God...I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't that big of a deal, except for the itchy butt from wiping myself with a nettle." You can't help but laugh at that and watch as he smiles a little too. "Anyway, with Sophia it's different. She does have people looking for her."

You look at him again and your smile gets bigger, you don't know how Daryl works exactly, but you like how he's being with you now, you know that smile you got out of him, you're not going to forget it easily.

"What?" he asks you when you can't stop looking at him.

"Nothing..." You shrug your shoulders without breaking your smile.

"Yer fuckin' weird, woman." He snorts looking away, feels the tips of his ears burning and at the same time regrets how he talked to you that morning. Sometimes he is unable to stop before blurting out the first thing that pops into his head.

You arrive at a small camp, a tent with an unlit fire, there are some objects scattered everywhere. A few gasps and hisses put you on alert, Daryl pulls you behind his body and you gasp in fright as you discover a man hanging from a tree. You stifle a retch when you discover that some infected has tried to eat him from his feet.

"My God..." You whisper in horror.

"Looks to me like he didn't make it to safety."

"That's not funny, Daryl..." You scold him, looking for Sophia with your eyes, but it seems that no one has been there for days.

"Ya wanted me to show ya, didn't ya?" his voice grabs your attention again.

"Now? I don't think it's..."

"I dunno it cares." He gestures for you to come closer and you obey.

Daryl wraps his arms around your body to give you the crossbow and get you into the right position, you feel his body pressed against yours, his chest against your back. You feel your pulse racing and you find it hard to breathe as your face turns red. Having the hunter so close makes you nervous. You feel his hands place yours on the crossbow, his fingers brushing your skin, placing your hand on the trigger.

"Both eyes open." He speaks in your ear and you get goosebumps. "Ya need to time the distance right." You feel Daryl guide your body to aim correctly at the infected that won't stop writhing in the tree. "When yer ready, just shoot." He tells you again, your body trembles as you feel his lips brush against your ear.

You try to concentrate on what you are doing, on the important part which is learning how to use a gun, not being afraid to defend yourself against these things, because they are no longer people. You take a deep breath and your finger hesitates for a second on the trigger before you close your eyes and fire. You hear another gasp, louder this time, and all is silent afterwards. You open your eyes to discover that the arrow has pierced the skull of the infected with the first shot. You know it's not your doing, Daryl has calculated the distance and put your body in the right position so you couldn't miss, yet you feel a certain pride bubbling inside you. Daryl's body moves away from yours picking up the crossbow again and placing it on his shoulder.

"Next time don't close yer eyes when ya shoot." He tells you with a smirk. "That way ya'll avoid shooting someone by accident."

"Y-yes..." You nod sheepishly, but you can't hide your smile.

"C'mon, it's time to go back. Sophia's not here." Daryl sets off again and you follow a few steps behind him.

"Daryl, wait." You call out to him. Daryl stops to turn and look at you. You bite your lip nervously and reach his position to hold out his knife. "Here, I didn't give it to you in the end..."

"Keep it." He says shaking his shoulders. "Ya need practice, but ya've got guts." He encourages you. "Ya'll need a weapon to practice with."

"Thanks..." You gasp and press the gun against your chest. "I promise I'll stop being a nuisance."

"I'll settle for ya not killing yerself by mistake." He jokes pulling the knife away from your body. "Let's go back."

"Yes..."

You don't know if it's too risky a step, but you're happy and somewhat excited, so you can't help yourself. You move closer to Daryl and grab him by the bottom of his shirt, the hunter turns his head to look at you, you stare at each other for a few seconds, you're about to let go, but then Daryl grabs your wrist and keeps walking. It's not an abrupt gesture, nor a dominating one, he simply keeps you by his side as you walk back to the road, you know that if he had held your hand it would have been more uncomfortable for both of you.

**

To be continued...

***

I hope you all liked it.

See you in the next story!