#( ask. henryk barczak )

[infernare]

📔 + henryk + mal of course

Send 📔 for a journal entry written by my muse.

henryk had tossed and turned for what felt like hours before deciding to leave malachi in the bed the two shared and making his way downstairs. he grabbed some of malachi’s from the fridge, but decided against it, putting it back. if there was another option, he would always take it. usually when men ate their boyfriends, it wasn’t quite as literally. 

he started a fire in the living room, more for the soothing yellow light than the warmth, and took one of the two armchairs set across from it. his gaze wandered around the still room, bored, as he looked for a distraction from the thoughts that kept him up, haunting his mind. of all things, he found one of malachi’s sketch pads lying on the side table.

there was no one least artistic inclined than him, but henryk still reached for the pad, looking through malachi’s sketches. a few were of him, bringing a smile to his lips. the way his boyfriend saw him made him look so much more — dignified than he actually felt, specially these days. malachi made him out to be some type of modern day adonis. 

green eyes noticed an abandoned charcoal pencil on the table and he flipped through the pages of the pad until he found a clear one. he would never disgrace malachi’s sketch pad with one of his abhorrent drawings, however. it was a letter that first took form on that blank page, and it was soon followed by more.

❛  i never wanted to feel this way, or any other way, for someone else, and here’s why. i can’t blame malachi for what i’ve become, it was my choice, but i chose to do it because i love him. i know i do because even the thought of losing him is crippling. that is what i wanted to avoid, and i can’t even say i regret the fact. i chose to live and die for him, and he did it for me too. now i’m the type of monster he should be afraid of. i don’t know who i am anymore. all i know is that i’ve changed in every possible way, but i still love him. i don’t know what i’m supposed to do next. i don’t think there’s fixing this. maybe i should’ve let him go. he would never let me do that. i don’t know if that’s love or self-destruction anymore, but he’s mine. he’ll be mine even if i leave, and i’ll be his too. i never wanted to feel this way for someone else. it was easier not to care. now all i have is caring, and i don’t know if i’m very good at that. ❜

he stared at his own words for a moment, frowning, then ripped off the page and fed it to the fire. malachi wouldn’t like to know that was what kept him up at night, he’d be disheartened, and he’d feel guilty too. henryk hated that he cared so much about him, he would silence his violent thoughts to keep himself from hurting him. one day he’d find the words to explain himself without breaking him in the process, but for now the quiet would have to do.

[clarice-dagny-archived]

Task 02  ::  We are, who we are

Basics:

Full Name:  Clarice Élan Dagny

Nickname/s:  Clary, Pumpkin, Red ( by a few people ), Hobbit Girl ( by Damien ), Little Red ( by other Hunts ), Amante ( by Dante )

Age:  436 years old

Date of Birth:  January 27th, 1581

Gender:  Female

Preferred Pronouns:   She/Her

Species:  Bitch  Vampire

Birth place:  Unknown but she grew up in a small hunting village somewhere in North Italy with her brother and sister.  The village has since been burned down.

Current living situation:  Living with Ruth in a two bedroom apartment in down town Ashbourne, Nova Scotia

Occupation:  Assistant Manager and Barista at La Petit Café Rouge

Appearance:

Height:  5′2

Build:  Slim

Skin Tone:  Pale

Hair Color:  Typically she dyes it Red [ Naturally is Blonde ]

Eye Color:  Steel Blue

Glasses or Contacts:   None

Birthmarks/Scars:  Few scars from the night she died but nothing big.  You wouldn’t even notice them if you weren’t looking.

Tattoos/Piercings:  None

Left handed/Right handed:  Right

Most Prominent Feature:  Height and hair color

Clothing Style:  Cheap street.  She buys most if not all her clothes at second hand shops.

Face Claim:  Jane Levy

Relationships:

Parent’s Names:  Elizabeth and Gideon Dagny

Relationship with Parents:  Strained (ish); Clary never knew her parents.  She and her siblings were abandoned when she was three years old.  She doesn’t remember anything about them anymore. 

Sibling’s Names:  Aurelia (older sister), Oliver (younger brother, deceased)

Relationship with Siblings:  Lots of ups and downs.  She was never close with her brother and while she’s haunted by the fact she murdered him, she doesn’t miss him.  After finding out her sister was alive, they were able to make up and forget their rocky past.  Clary would like to someday be closer to Auri again, but as it is, her sister’s whereabouts are unknown.

Pets:  One cat named ‘Freeloader Asshole Cat’ AKA ‘Freebie’

Best friends (AKA people she tells everything):  Stephen Neeley, Kai Hunt, William Adler

Friends (people she likes and wants to know more):  Matilda Hunt, Ruth Jakobs, Mercy Peltier, Summer Calvery, Henryk Barczak, Monty Kirschbaum

Foes:  Malachi Thorn  Laila Renaud

Play Thing/s:  Cael Mercer

Other/Father of my Cat:  Damien Hunt

Relationship Status:  Taken

Ex-boyfriend:  Dante Cortez

Sire:  Elias (deceased)

Fledglings:  N/A

Personality:

What would be their Character Archetype:  The Sarcastic Rebel

Strongest Character Trait/s:  Loyal, thoughtful, quick wit, humorous

Weakest Character Trait/s:  Stubborn, gives into peer pressure easily

Phobias/Fear/s:  Abandonment, being alone, being seen as nothing more than a monster

Biggest Secret/s:  Is stupidly in love with Kai  Is a secret romantic who loves cheesy gestures

Bad Habits/Ticks:  Clicking her tongue when annoyed, rolling her eyes at stupidity, giving away free things at work.

Obsessions:  Drinking pumpkin spice lattes, Instagramming pictures of her stupid cat, thinking about things that don’t actually matter.

Religion:  Agnostic

Sexuality:  Straight

Zodiac Sign:  Aquarius

Hogwarts House:  Gryffindor (she’ll deny and say Slytherin though if you ask her)

Moral Alignment:  True Neutral

Opinion on Drug use:  Won’t partake herself, but is fine if others want to

Opinion on Alcohol use:  Drink a lot, drink often

Opinion on Swearing:  Is that even a question?

Quirks:

Hobbies:  Playing video games, flirting with people to get free stuff, instagramming, drinking coffee, dancing horribly, singing in the shower, going for night walks.

Language/s spoken:  Speaks fluent English, French, Spanish and Mandarin Chinese.   She also knows some Korean, Vietnamese, Moari, American sign language and Russian.

Outdoors or Indoor Person:  Outdoors all the way

Instruments they play:  Guitar (though it’s been a while)

Favorite Type of Music:  Punk, Rock, occasional Rap

Favorite Color:  Amaranth Red

Favorite Food:  Strawberry Syrup or Jam

Favorite Animal:  Squirrel

Favorite Place to Travel:  She loves Ireland and London but her favorite place to travel around is Southern China or Laos.

Favorite Holiday:  Halloween

Favorite Movie:  Scott Pilgrim vs the World

Favorite Scent:  Pumpkin Spice anything

Instagram/Twitter/Tumblr Handle:  LittleRedWanderer

What does their voicemail message sound like:  ‘ Hey, you’ve reached Clary’s cellphone.  Chances are my phone is in my hand right now so I’m clearly screen your calls.  Leave a message and I’ll consider getting back to you. ’ 

Past /Future:

What were they like as a Child:  As a small child, Clary was very outgoing, rowdy and considered ‘tomboyish’.  As she got older, she became more reserved to others but at the same time, sought ways to stand out.   

Did they grow up Rich or Poor:  Very poor

Did they grow up Nurtured or Neglected:  Nurtured by her sister, neglected by the rest of the world.

What did they want to be when they grew up:  A teacher (this dream didn’t last long)

Smell that Reminds them of their Childhood:  Fresh Cherry Pie

Best Childhood Memory:  Making flower crowns with her sister.

Worst Childhood Memory:  That time she broke her arm when she fell out of a tree.

Future goals:  Follow in Matilda’s footsteps and have her own business.  She thought about owning her own cafe but might want to get away from the coffee business for a while.  Maybe get another cat after she buys her first home.

Are they/do they want to get Married:  The thought scares her but maybe someday depending on the guy.

Do they have/want to have Kids:  She’ll say no, but she’d actually be a great mom.

Do they want to grow old:  Been there, done that

Will they ever settle down somewhere:  Now that her quest to hunt down and kill her sire is over, she’d like to find a ‘forever home’ of some kind.  Being a vampire she knows that’s near impossible but she’d still like to try.

[infernare]

“I hate snow. And smiling children.” ( malryk )

“But you don’t hate me.” He threw his lover an almost innocent look and earned in return a smile. “You’re alright,” Malachi said and Henryk bumped their shoulders together, teasing him for that lie. “You’re full of shit, Thorn.” His lover scoffed out a chuckle, tracing his fingertips down his wrist and intertwining their fingers. Henryk thought there was something wildly sweet about bringing out that kind of tenderness on a violent creature like Malachi. The vampire was all doom and gloom, except when it came to him. He wondered what it was about him that made Malachi behave in such a way. He only knew his side of the story. How everything changed when he learned he could trust someone else with his life.

Henryk moved their hands into his pocket. The cold didn’t bother him much, but he knew Malachi was a warm blooded creature, and to be honest he liked that about him. “I like the snow.” Henryk knew the vampire was aware, but he wasn’t quite sure he understood why. “It reminds me of walking through the Soviet Union in winter and imagining I was the only man left alive.” He threw his lover a look, whom seemed puzzled. “How did it feel?” It was such a Malachi question to ask. The man always wanted to know how he felt. Henryk wondered sometimes if it worried him that he didn’t feel anything at all. “Quiet,” he answered after a moment. “Peaceful.”

In the distance, he heard carolers, and children caught in a snowball war. The scent of cinnamon and smoked meat got stronger and weaker as they walked by one family home at a time. They didn’t really know where they were going yet, but he was sure someone was about to have a pretty bad Christmas dinner. “If you liked the snow, we could be the last two men alive.” That put a smile back on Malachi’s face. Henryk had to admit he liked the sight. “I suppose it could be an acquired taste.” He threw him a playful, “Like you then,” and earned another bump of the shoulders. Henryk didn’t know what had earned him Malachi’s affection, but he was glad for it, because it had broken and healed him in equal amounts.

[infernare]

👄 Malachi

send a ‘👄 + character name’ and my muse will talk about that character.

“ he’s always been super fucking hot. ” he let out a sight, falling into a seat on the armchair. his victim was tied up on the couch. Henryk’s sight fell upon her. “ he has always known how to have fun too, but it’s not just that. not anymore. ” he tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair, watching the vampiress. “ it’s hard for me to trust anyone … maybe because i’m so untrustworthy. ” he chuckled. “ but i trust him. i believe him. you know … ” he waved a dismissive hand towards her. “ the whole letting your guard down thing. letting someone in. ” Henryk leaned back and smirked. “ his good looks helped though. ” humming, a glint of concern flashed through his eyes and his expression sobered. “ i don’t wanna lose him ... ”

[infernare]

34,36,62,69,70 ( henryk )

70 horrible questions.

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

“Would you believe me if I said it was about the Russian ballet? I’m on a very strange diet...”

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

“I don’t. I don’t think I give them out at all. Not much of a first chance either. I’m not too keen on giving people anything really.”

62: What makes you happy?

“I like to have a good time, have fun, indulge on drinking and killing… Lots of sex… and Malachi. He’s responsible for the sex part, and partially for the rest too. Didn’t think I’d ever love a brit, but here we are. And you know what they say about british lovers? Not true. Not true at all.”

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

“Sounds like bullshit, to be honest, but what do I know.”

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

“I kind of… already have. So there’s your answer.”

[infernare]

👀 Would you love him if you had not ended stuck with him in Ashbourne? ( henryk )

send my muse “👀 + a question” and they’ll have to answer with 100% honesty.

“Speculating about hypothetical scenarios is such a waste of time and energy — but yes, I think I would have. I think we were on our way there long before Ashbourne… Being around each other just forced us to face what was happening head on. We go well together… I think, eventually, we would end up in the same place, no matter what road we took. Some things are just inevitable…”

[infernare]

💏 malryk

send me a 💏 and i will randomise a number in order for my muse to kiss yours…

                   26. …as an apology.

Malachi had forgiven him for what had happened, but that didn’t mean he had forgotten all about it. Henryk knew he didn’t blame him for the cheating, but his lover still refused to share his bed. Though it saddened him, he didn’t push for it. Malachi deserved as much time as he needed to gather himself. Henryk considered it a small miracle that he was even willing to forgive him, and he would wait for him. 

Time ticked by with slow progress, but progress nonetheless. Henryk didn’t eat as much anymore, he preferred to be himself for as long as he could, even if it meant getting a little hungry by the end of a few days. Not the best plan of action when he meant to be around his vampire lover, but Malachi needed him, not some weird version of himself, and if he could avoid getting all confused around him, he would.

He had lost count of how many weeks had gone by before Malachi joined him in bed. Henryk was lying on his side when he felt the bed shift. Peeking over his shoulder, he watched the vampire lie down next to him. Despite joining him, Malachi had his back turned to him. Henryk wondered what that meant, if he was supposed to lie there and pretend he hadn’t noticed they were sharing the bed again. Sounded like bullshit to him.

Henryk decided to take the risk and moved closer to him, throwing an arm over his side and pressing his front into his back. He knew Malachi preferred to be the little spoon and maybe that was just what he wanted then. To be held. He would hold him for as long as he wanted if that was the case. Henryk didn’t say anything, he just stayed in place with one arm thrown over him to keep him close, pressing small, tender kisses to his shoulder and nape. It was both an apology and a mean to show how thankful he was that he was there.

[infernare]

📱(Henryk -> Aria)

send 📱 for five texts my muse didn’t send yours, and one that they did.

To: Aria ➝ ThanksTo: Aria ➝ You’re not so badTo: Aria ➝ You were cool todayTo: Aria ➝ I appreciate your helpTo: Aria ➝ Thanks for everythingTo: Aria ➝ You’re not useless

[infernare]

📱 malryk

send 📱 for five texts my muse didn’t send yours, and one that they did.

To: Mal ➝ I can’t believe you still doubt me after everythingTo: Mal ➝ You’re a fucking moron but I love youTo: Mal ➝ I’m so tired of fightingTo: Mal ➝ Maybe the ritual was a mistakeTo: Mal ➝ Do you still love me?To: Mal ➝ Where are you staying?

[infernare]

✉ ⁇ ø @ & ♀ ( malryk )

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

[1:11am] To: Mal ➝ be honest youve been leaving me for months

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[3:38am] To: Mal ➝ plwease mall don’t do this let mae fix this k[3:39am] To: Mal ➝ i jneed to fix thirs i neyed yosu

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

[5:15am] To: Mal ➝ are u awake? [5:18am] To: Mal ➝ cant sleep without u  

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

[2:11am] To: Mal ➝ answer your fucking phone or i’ll break down your fucking door to make sure youre ok

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

[9:55pm] To: Mal ➝ i wont let anybody hurt you ever again

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[12:29am] To: Mal ➝ is it because im not perfect anymore?

[falsereligion]

✉ ( henryk & malachi )

Send me a ✉ for five times my muse didn’t text yours, and one time they did.

[ txt ; unsent ] henryk → malachi: i still don’t miss sleeping with other people[ txt ; unsent ] henryk → malachi: how did you know you were in love with me??[ txt ; unsent ] henryk → malachi: i like it when you make it weird[ txt ; unsent ] henryk → malachi: i’m sorry[ txt ; unsent ] henryk → malachi: where do you go at night when you think i’m sleeping?[ txt ] henryk → malachi: when is it my turn to get a lap dance?? 

[infernare]

VERSE: WELCOME TO ASHBOURNE

CHARACTERS: HENRYK BARCZAK 

DATE: APRIL 14TH, 2019

LOCATION: ASHBOURNE

There was something wrong with Henryk. Ever since Ariana’s blood ritual disconnected him from his sireline, everything was upside down. He expected it to be hard, but it started to feel more like it was impossible. Starving was a cruel challenge and now that it had been solved, Henryk was much happier. He could be around Malachi as often as he would like without risking his life. His boyfriend wasn’t quite so convinced he had it under control, but time would allow him to prove it. If that was all, he would be perfectly content.

Henryk was much happier now, but he had never felt less like himself. It was to be expected that he wouldn’t feel the same way as before. He could no longer compel vampires --- that would’ve been of great help --- or make use of the others perks that made a Regium. That much he figured and, had that been all, he’d have been just as displeased, but wouldn’t have felt quite so alarmed about his erratic behavior. Henryk wasn’t acting like himself these days, but it never struck him in the moment, only several hours, maybe even a day or two later.

Last Friday, he caught one of the girls crying backstage. Henryk asked her to his office and spent half an hour talking to a very puzzled stripper about her feelings.

On Sunday, after tasting a particularly delicious vegan vampire, he decided to go on a diet himself. Nevermind he only fed off vampires, he would find a way.

Of course his tenacity lasted a mere few hours before he was sinking his teeth into another victim. Twenty minutes later, he was telling everybody at the bar money didn’t matter and buying strangers rounds.

A few days later and he got caught mopping the Pit’s ring himself. Once the very bewildered staff ask what he was doing, he said the cleaner “didn’t do it right”.

The most alarming moment wasn’t when he volunteered to help rebuild the Sanguinem Aeternam, but apologizing for bumping into someone and meaning it too.

Henryk was worried about what that all meant for him, but his worries disappeared once he got his fangs into some arrogant jerk who walked in with a date and proceeded to flirt with everyone else. After making a generous meal out of him, Henryk came back in for his date and asked the guy back to his place.

A problem for another day.