#( he feels like he'd be homophobic too. homophobic yet he's already killed every homophobe in a 20 mile radius. he's a trans rights

[pastel-rights]

asta.

darling.

dearest.

beloved.

get this man AWAY from me.

[to-be-a-dreamer]

"i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you" for a fic title (i'm regretting this already)

Rae, what was that you were saying about me writing too much angst? I can’t remember. Anywho:

CW: child abuse, blood, mention of homophobic slurs

We're gonna do a Ralbert one, spice things up a bit (for me anyways)

I'm thinking a high school AU in which Race and Albert have been dating for a little over six months, but they're keeping it a secret because Al isn't out yet. Race has been out and proud since freshman year, but Albert's afraid of what his father would say/do.

So they don't tell anyone, not even their closest friends or Race's brothers. Gossip spreads fast in their little town and they don't want to risk it. Besides, they've been best friends since they were little, so the fact that they're so affectionate with each other isn't suspicious. (At least they think so. Race's brothers, Charlie and Jack, are very well aware)

While they're at school, out with their friends, or around any other person, they pretend they're just friends. Their relationship is made up of quick glances that hold a thousand words, touches that linger just a tad too long to be considered friendly, and stolen kisses from within every hidden alcove they can find.

The only place they can truly act like boyfriends is Race's bedroom (they don't do anything like that they just cuddle and kiss and talk all lovey-dovey in the ways they can't when they're in public)

And that's good enough for Albert. Sure, he'd love to be able to be with Race publicly, but he's happy just knowing that Race belongs to him, and he belongs to Race.

Loving Race in private already makes him feel like the luckiest person on the planet, he doesn't need anything more.

(It's not enough for Race, but Albert doesn't know that.)

So anyways, one day they're hanging out at Albert's house, not doing anything coupley at all. They are quite literally just existing but, at some point, Albert's dad calls Race the f-slur.

And Albert just goes off on his dad cause even if he's not out, even if he were actually straight, he would never let someone get away with talking to Race like that.

The argument quickly escalates into an all-out yelling match between the two of them and Albert is so mad he can't even care enough to worry about how angry his dad looks. Mostly because his dad has never hit him in front of another person before, but it starts to feel like a "first time for everything" kind of situation.

So he just grabs Race's hand and leaves, still yelling over his shoulder as the door slams in his face. He left his car keys inside so they decide to walk to the Larkin house. It's not that far, Albert used to walk there all the time before he got his license.

Albert is still very mad at his father so he rants the entire walk, apologizes for his dad's behavior, and then rants some more. He drops Race's hand as they pass by the busy corner store he knows their friends like to go to. Race wraps his arms tightly around himself so Albert doesn't try to take his hand again, even when they're in the clear.

It takes nearly the entire walk for Albert to calm down enough to realize Race hasn't said a word the entire time. Which is enough to make him stop instantly and force all the anger out of his voice.

"Hey, hey look at me. I'm sorry for yelling so much. Are you okay? We're almost home and then we can watch a movie or some-" "I can't do this anymore"

At first, Albert thinks Race is just upset about what happened, which he has a right to be, so he tries to apologize for his dad again but Race cuts him off.

He's done, he's done sneaking around, he's done lying to his family, he's done pretending they're just friends. Race doesn't want to keep hiding, he wants to love Albert publicly but he can't, and that kills him. And as he keeps talking, Albert can tell that this has been coming on for a while, it wasn't just what his dad said.

Al tries to talk him out of it, of course. He promises that they can do more, that they can be more open. They can hold hands at school, they can go out on dates where no one knows them, maybe they can even tell their friends! But Race says no. He won't let Albert put himself in danger like that.

"You heard what your dad was sayin', and that was just about me! Imagine what he'd do if he knew, Al, you can't just... If we keep doing this, he's gonna find out, you know he will, and I'm not gonna be the reason you get hurt, you hear me? If keepin' you safe means we can't be together then t-that's an easy decision for me."

And so that's that. They go into Race's house and try to pretend everything's fine in front of Jack and Charlie. (Albert tried to go back home but Race wouldn't let him, not with how furious his father had looked when they left.)

Everyone notices that something's wrong. Race's brothers, all their friends, even the teachers. But neither of them can tell the truth, so all they did was trade one secret for another. Except now they don't have each other to lean on.

Race is coping (barely). It hurts, a lot, but he's been considering a break-up for nearly a month at this point; hearing all of the awful things Albert's father said just gave him the final push he needed. He loves Albert, but he's not going to let him get hurt by being in a relationship with Race. He would never be able to forgive himself. That's the only thing keeping him from calling Albert at two in the morning when he misses him so much he can barely breathe.

Albert is decidedly not coping. He and Race had only been dating for about six months, but he couldn't remember a time in his life when they weren't best friends. They'd been attached at the hip since they met, and he's never not been able to talk to Race about anything and everything. So it's not just the fact that he lost Race as a boyfriend, he also lost Race as a friend, and that's the part that hurts the most

So he breaks. He's eating dinner with his dad and his older brothers, barely even listening to the conversation, when he hears that word again. They're throwing it around like it means nothing, laughing like it's some joke. And all Albert can think about is how he wants to call Race and talk about how awful he feels having to listen to his own family say such horrible things. How he wants nothing more than to call them out and teach them better. How he knows he can't because they'd never listen to him. And Race would tell him it's not his fault that they're stuck in their prejudice and it's not his responsibility to teach them to be better. He'd say that keeping himself safe is more important than trying to change the minds of people who don't want to change.

Albert just wants to talk to his best friend.

But he can't, and even if he did, the problem he wants to talk about is the exact reason Race broke up with him in the first place and he knows Race is probably right but he just misses him so much and his family won't stop saying that word.

He didn't even mean to say it, it just slips out before he can stop himself. He can barely even believe he'd actually done it but the conversation goes dead silent and when he looks up there are three pairs of eyes staring him down. His brothers look like a couple of deer caught in headlights, but his father is absolutely thunderous.

His brothers laugh awkwardly and try to divert the conversation, but Albert just lifts his chin and looks his father dead in the eye. It's done now. If he's going down he's going down with his head held high

His father doesn't yell, which is a surprise. Albert had thought he'd scream for at least a few minutes before he threw the first punch. But his father starts hitting first and then adds the shouting. Albert's not really paying attention to what he's saying, but he can make a pretty good guess.

He gets away, somehow. He thinks one of his brothers managed to get their father off of him long enough for the other to pull him to his feet and shove him out the door. He yells at Al to run and then the door slams shut.

Albert can hear more shouting and something breaking, probably a plate getting thrown at a wall (he hopes it's a wall). He takes the advice and runs. He's not even paying attention to where he's going but he isn't surprised when he ends up turning onto Race's street. He doesn't slow down until he can see the house that feels more like a home than his own. Some of the adrenaline wears off and he starts to feel the damage his father did.

It's still fairly early in the evening, but Albert doesn't want to knock on the front door if he looks half as bad as he feels. He goes to Race's window and knocks on it four times, the signal they came up with in middle school.

Race almost doesn't answer. He thinks he knows what Albert wants and it's not a conversation he wants to have again. But the second he gets a glimpse of Al's face he throws the window open instantly and pulls him inside. He doesn't even ask what happened, he already knows. Race calls out for Medda immediately and is met with several protests.

"Come on, she's gonna freak out, don't-" "I'm freaking out, Al, at least Ma knows how to hide it."

And she does. She gets Albert patched up without letting the kind, concerned expression fall for even a second, despite the rage bubbling beneath the surface. She's going to be having a very long conversation with Mr. DaSilva in the morning. She decides they don't need to go to the ER right now, but they might later if he starts showing signs of a concussion. By some miracle, nothing's broken so she just cleans the blood off Albert's face, puts a bandage over the cut on his temple, and gives him an ice pack for his headache.

Once she leaves to find some pain medicine, Race turns to Albert and gives him a look. And Albert has to explain what happened, what his family was saying, how angry and alone he felt, how much he just wanted to call Race and talk like they used to. And then...

"I didn't even mean to say it, honest! I know you're gonna be mad but I swear it just slipped out!" "Al. What did you do?" "I-I told him that I'm gay."

And Race is torn between being angry (because this is exactly what he told Albert not to do), proud (because Race had a hard enough time coming out to his own family and had known they would be supportive), and sympathetic (because even though they both knew how his father would react, Race knew it had to hurt, opening yourself up like that to someone who was supposed to love you unconditionally and getting it thrown back in your face)

He wants to yell, he wants to be angry, but Albert just looks so heartbroken and... almost... uncomfortable? Like he wasn't sure if he was supposed to be here, in this house that was the first place either of them had ever felt truly safe. And Race just can't bring himself to be mad (and yeah, he missed Albert too)

So while Albert waits for the inevitable lecture, Race leans forward and pulls his best friend into a hug. Just holds him close and rubs his back and mutters encouragement in his ear and lets Albert cry.

Things aren't all better now. Race still doesn't want to be in a relationship if they have to keep it a secret, his heart couldn't take another second of that. Albert doesn't know when or if he'll ever go back to his own house, or what might be waiting there for him when he does. They need to talk. About a lot of things. About everything. But they have each other back now, and they're never going to let go, no matter what comes next.

And when Medda comes back with the medicine (okay maybe she took a little bit longer than necessary), she just smiles and leaves the bottle next to the two boys who had fallen asleep in each other's arms.

[mellometal]

Hey, everyone.

If you saw the post from earlier, I had to delete it. There were things I forgot to discuss and things that didn't get saved into my drafts. Sorry if you have to see this again.

I've been WAITING to talk about Glee. Not in the good way either. There's so much wrong with the show, and it's sickening. Yes, I've watched the show last year. Against my will, but that's because of other people refusing to put on anything else besides Glee. I can say that I hate Glee with my entire being. (My initial reason for hating it was because they covered "SING" by My Chemical Romance and turned it into a slow, patriotic song when it's a song about rebellion. NOTHING about "SING" is patriotic. I hated the show since I first heard about it...for that very reason. I was like thirteen or so at the time when I first heard about Glee? Despite it being out since 2009.

Though it's been over for several years now, it's a show that many people have mixed feelings about. From what I've seen, you either love Glee or you absolutely hate it. There's no in-between that I've seen. (If you can't already tell, I hate the show.)

The show is a literal dumpster fire, the characters are all fucking awful people and all of them are poorly written, the script pisses me off, it literally makes me feel disgusting, and don't even get me started on the covers. Most of the covers aren't that good. A lot of them sound like nails on a chalkboard to me. The pacing of the show makes NO sense in certain areas (like when Blaine was initially made to be a grade above Kurt, but was then changed to be like the same grade as him so he'd stay). It just feels like everyone in the show is either a Mary Sue, a Gary Stu, their whole personality is just that they're from a minority group or they're EDGY AND HARDCORE DELINQUENTS BLEEEEHHHHH, creepy as fuck, bigoted as all hell, or they're just background characters who occasionally have the spotlight.

TW: The following post and any other posts that I'll make about this show contains subject matter that may be triggering for some audiences. It will go into subjects like racism, homophobia, ableism, outing of a person in the LGBT community, bigotry in general, statutory r@pe (between teachers and students), teachers being creepy towards students, mentioned past child m0l3stati0n and invalidation of the victim's trauma, making fun of su1c1d3, making fun of overdose, making fun of drug addiction....a lot of fucked up things.

If anything mentioned above is triggering for you, please feel free to scroll and consume safe media instead. I'd rather have you be safe than to be triggered by anything I'm gonna talk about.

Let's start off easy. The characters. It's easy to tear them apart. At least the most problematic ones.

Rachel, the Main Character™️, is textbook definition of a Mary Sue. Instead of calling her Rachel, I'm gonna call her Mary Sue for the whole post. She's almost completely perfect (like too perfect), her flaws are minor if anything, she gets all the special treatment....you get the picture. When Mary Sue does anything fucked up or she says anything fucked up, it either goes unnoticed, people make up excuses for her being a shitty person, or it gets twisted so it looks like Mary Sue is the hero! (I hate her. So much. I cannot stand her.)

Aaawwww, Mary Sue didn't want some OTHER GIRL (Sunshine) to steal HER spotlight, so she SENT THIS GIRL TO A CRACK HOUSE. A FUCKING CRACK HOUSE, OF ALL PLACES. A PLACE WHERE THIS GIRL COULD HAVE BEEN PUT IN SERIOUS DANGER. THIS GIRL COULD HAVE BEEN SERIOUSLY INJURED AT BEST AND KILLED AT WORST. Yes, I'm aware not all drug houses are the same, but still. It doesn't matter what this girl did. What Sunshine did is irrelevant. It's not okay to send people to strange places where they don't know anyone, and are put in danger, even to the point of either getting injured or killed. But it's okay, because at least it's not an "active" crack house you sent Sunshine to, RIGHT, Mary Sue? You still sent some poor girl to a place where she could have been put in serious danger, even to possibly get injured or killed, all because you didn't want her to steal YOUR spotlight. You fucking disgusting, entitled, bratty cunt. You don't need the spotlight all the time anyway. THAT'S HOW THEATRE WORKS. YOU DON'T ALWAYS GET THE LEAD ROLE. YOU DON'T ALWAYS GET THE ROLE YOU WANT. AND THAT'S OKAY. YOU WORK WITH WHAT YOU GOT. Sincerely, a theatre kid.

There are other fucked up things Mary Sue has done, but this is the one thing I could find anyone talking about. If I remember correctly, she hurt her Gay Best Friend™️ Kurt in some way. All I remember is that Kurt was mad at Mary Sue about something. Mary Sue is annoying as fuck. What else can I say about her?

Next, we have Finn, who's textbook definition of a Gary Stu. I'll call him Gary Stu throughout this post. I hate this fucker too. He's the Main Character's Boyfriend™️, the Hot Quarterback™️, and The Good Guy™️. Yet....he's not a good person. He's treated like he's a good person, but he's really not. His flaws are fairly minor and excused (and any major flaws aren't even talked about much), he's almost completely perfect, and every fucked up thing he does is ignored or is justified in some way. Like how he outed Santana as lesbian in the hallway WITHIN EARSHOT OF EVERYONE. HE DIDN'T EVEN APOLOGIZE FOR THIS.

As a woman who has struggled with her sexuality growing up, this really brought back shit I went through. I "dated" boys when I was younger to cover up the fact that I'm only attracted to other women. I wasn't happy with these guys at all. I acted like I did so nobody would suspect anything. I felt nothing for them, except for in a platonic way. I've been outed twice. Once when I thought I was bisexual with a strong preference for other women (by my dad's girlfriend at the time), and when I came out as lesbian (by my brother). It sucks to be outed. The people who outed me in real life could have put me in danger. They could have made it so I had no place to go back to. They could have had me get hurt. It's a scary feeling. Like, it doesn't matter if you're supportive or if you're in the LGBT community. You don't fucking out people without their explicit permission. You especially don't out people to their abusers or to people they don't trust, let alone out them publicly. That's what happened to me. I don't wish this on anyone.

***By the way, for anyone who's closeted, you're valid, I love you, and I know how it feels to be stuck in the closet. You don't have to come out right now. Come out whenever you're ready to. Whenever it's safe for you to do so.***

Or how about the fact that Gary Stu made fun of Kurt's voice because he's gay? Gary Stu apparently has ✨anger issues✨ and that's pretty much the excuse they use to justify him doing fucked up shit to people.

They treat the characters who are from minority groups (i.e., BIPOC, AAPI, LGBT community, disabled people) like absolute garbage, put them through all this horrific shit, or they put them on a pedestal simply for being in a minority group. The teachers and other school staff are either written to be total bigots (Sue), or they're total pr3dators (Mr. Schue, the school nurse, and another teacher who I can't remember her name off the top of my head).

Sue pretty much only exists to be a poorly written villain who's a bigoted bitch just to be a bigoted bitch. Yes, there were some things she WAS right about (like how "Blurred Lines" wasn't an appropriate song choice for the Glee Club™️, but Mr. Schue The Pr3dator™️ downplayed it). Other than that...that's all I can think of. Because everything else that came out of her mouth was bigoted bullshit. Like these right here, for example:

Or how she drugged the principal, date r@ped him, and blackmailed him?

How about them making a tasteless joke about Sue committing su1c1d3 and having her "overdose" on multivitamin gummies?

DO I NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW FUCKED UP ALL OF THIS IS? I do? Well, first of all, she called people racist, homophobic, ableist, and otherwise disgusting names. She boiled them down to their race, sexual orientation, their disability, and their appearance in general. Second, SHE DRUGGED, BLACKMAILED, AND DATE R@PED SOMEBODY. I don't think I need to explain how that's bad. The evidence is right there. Third, she said she was committing "sue-icide" by overdosing on multivitamin gummies. (Yes, you actually can OD on vitamins in supplement form, and it can cause serious symptoms and even death. Specifically with vitamins A, D, E, and K, and Iron. Vitamins A, D, E, and K are fat-soluble. They're a lot harder to remove from the body. The B vitamins and vitamin C aren't as severe if you do OD on them because they're water-soluble, but still be careful. You can't OD on vitamins and minerals you find in food. If you take supplements, vitamins, etc., only take what's on the bottle.) As someone who has su1c1d@l thoughts on and off, this is extremely insulting. Yes, I do use humor and I joke about my own experiences to cope, but this? Nah. Nothing about this is funny or cute in the slightest. Enough said.

Do I need to explain how fucking terrible it is to make light of a serious topic like this? It was never funny to see Britney Spears' mental health be at that low of a point in 2007. It was never funny to see the abuse the paparazzi inflicted on her. How the fuck was this ever okay? You can dislike Britney Spears all you want, but this was never it.

This is all I have for now. I'll probably make a part two because there are way too many things to talk about.

[terrablaze514]

Being Black + R. Kelly, Living With Secrets, and Writing Catatonic Fanfics

Hey everyone.

I'm up extra early, because this is bugging my mind and heart right now. The words might leave if I don't voice (write) it.

In a few hours, I'll be going to church again. Christian, yes. Predominantly Black, you've guessed it. Both of these cancel each other out. Why?

Despite my suspicions growing up, the vast majority of Black people I knew (family, friends, acquaintances, etc.) were still jamming to R. Kelly's music. It makes all the more sense why he's known as, "The Pied Piper", and that's scary as buck if you stop to think about it.

I've never understood why he was permitted to keep making music. Why the buck does Wendy Williams still have an audience? Why did 2Pac and Michael Jackson get destroyed by false allegations (until their sunset), while R. Kelly is still a free man in the music industry with proof of sexual deviance in multiple court cases?

I was 7 when I was molested by a grown woman. I couldn't approach my parents about it, because she became a close friend to my mother, got closer to other notable family friends, and I was already misunderstood at school and church (Grade 2 was a horrible year). My parents were also coming to terms with their breakup, so it didn't help (because what if they had another physical altercation?). Top that with the ongoing belief that men were innately predators...

October 2018, I've had a nightmare of her stalking me while visiting my hometown (the 514) - woke up in a sweat, purchased Black Panther on Google Play Movies, and watched the movie until my eyes shut again... Because mentally, I needed to feel safe. I wanted Wakanda's protection. And I ended up getting it in my dreams (occasionally). M'Baku and The Jabari Tribe are the best!

Back on topic... So, while I'm happy that justice is happening, I'm also disappointed. Deeply disappointed in The Black Community for sweeping this issue under the rug.👏🏾Every.👏🏾 Single.👏🏾Time.👏🏾 I understand firsthand why it's hard to come forward. Allow me to explain (and these are some of the reasons why going to church is a farce in my book).

I've shared with a few Gundam Wing fans (via Discord) that I've sung in three choirs (four if school curriculum counts). To this day, I still jam to my favourite songs and sing as a secret means to calm down when times are too stressful (and if I have no access to a pen and notebook). So why bring this up? Simply put, during my tenure in the third choir, I was spanked and grabbed on the buttocks for holding the door open for an elderly man. [This isn't funny, so if you're laughing, check yourself or leave my blog ASAP]. Not only did this trigger my fear and cripple my confidence as a young adult, but I wasn't able to focus. I've felt scared... Moreso when I've relayed the incident to a few choir members. They've laughed it off, because it sounded funny to them.

It didn't help that this also happened a week after one of my closest friends had died from cancer (and I couldn't make it to his funeral). So being forced to laugh it off, take it with a grain of salt, and keeping it moving wasn't easy. Also, being Black means you don't cry. "Stay strong," is all people would ever say.

I've also been approached and stalked by some strange men, around my age (no older than 27). I'd be waiting at the bus stop so I can commute to work. Strange man shows up, and requests (to the point of begging) that I take the taxi with him. One week later, he begs me to skip work and come over to his place. For what, only God knows. I didn't go, but I've sent text messages to friends. The majority of them found it funny - except one, who also called to check up on me. If it were up to him, he'd drive across town and set the stalker straight.

That was then.

There was a fellow co-worker (cisgender woman) who used to touch, or feel up my inner thighs and buttocks without my consent, and in the presence of customers. How many times have I reported her, yet supervisors promoted her, and would say, "That's her way of giving people props."

What the heck?

Then, by the time I was 25, I've reached my breaking point despite graduating from college and acquiring two careers to call my own. My physical appearance (gaining weight), marital status ("let's find a boyfriend for you on WhatsApp Messenger"), and popularity were the only things that mattered. Damn it all to the grave.

Dating prospects were more like, groomers. And they were all Christian Churchians.💯 I've never given up the V-card, but I've tried to fit in to the point of mental starvation and social exhaustion. In the worst case scenario, I've heard adults (including a parent) poke rape jokes. What's so funny about that?

We sure as hell did not deserve Aaliyah, because the ignorance is real.

I've ended up writing a fanfic project that deals with the music industry, and emphasizes deep comparisons between a good rep team versus an evil rep team, by pulling bits and pieces of experiences by real artists, as well as my "inability to be more transparent/speak up/get out of my shell", and conceptions of what could go wrong if there was no access to a healthy outlet... Combined them into the realities of the characters I'm borrowing. It's still in progress; I'm a perfectionist, yet, the story needs to be told.

There's a second project where two cousins grow up together in the kingdom, get separated after the death of a family member, and the elder cousin searches for his bestie in America. Friendships are formed, but there's also a rampant rape culture against girls in the community where his cousin took residence... Pedophiles will get killed after witnessing the dismissal of reports by police. Go figure.

Writing these types of things, is an outlet. I don't condone abuse, murder, things of that dark nature, but honestly. I grew up in a rape culture. I need a healthy way to deal with (process) that.

Talking about it to people is only safe enough in therapy sessions. Outside of that, get laughed at. Mocked. Told that You deserve it (or did something to deserve it).

I've contemplated suicide last month. Resurfaced memories do more harm than good... And even if I followed through on December 29th (I'm glad I didn't), everything in this post, especially the woman predator who was a babysitter, is the secret I would've taken to my grave. Who could I talk to without feeling unsafe or unwelcome? Without laughing it off in a dismissive manner? Without assuming that I've done something to deserve it, like forgetting to pull on my panties first?

No one.

I've been taught that my big butt, juicy thighs, bust... Yet fat belly, rolls on my back, and somewhat bouncy arms, are something to be ashamed of. From 14 to 23, I used to sport Beyoncé's figure (used to be slimmer)... Yet I still had to feel guilty for embracing that, because if I didn't cover up... If I walked out late... If I didn't keep up with trends... if I didn't turn up for what... If I didn't drop it like it's hot, turn around and bump bump bump, my body too bootylicious for 'em, 'cause if it's worth it lemme work it... And whenever I did these things...

I am guilty.

Now that I'm older, and I don't do these things as often...

I am still guilty.

Because I grew up in a community and a society that hates rapists and pedophiles while making excuses for rapists and pedophiles if I spoke up. If other girls and women spoke up. If boys and men came forward with their true accounts without receiving homophobic comments, or the overused, "You became a real man, congratulations!" Canada's Supreme Court will not keep a sex predator behind bars for more than ten years. That's all the additional proof you need.

The hypocrisy was real, and it still is.

There was an incident where a little girl complained about a church elder touching her... No one believed her.

Later on in my teens, a teenage boy was falsely accused of sexual harassment, and everyone believed the lie (except his closest friends, whom told her to stop following them around).

Another church elder (and a Bible thumper), fondled my breasts out of spite - and my mother blamed me! The next time I've seen that elder, I've set her straight, but who the hell am I for talking? She's still the most respected because she knows every scripture passage, from Genesis to Revelation, and also knows every volume, word for word, from The Spirit of Prophecy. So she has no sin...

THE LIES!

I was nervous shaky the entire time.

So growing up Black, in a church community, as a girl (now a woman) had many catastrophes. I'm not crazy for putting this out there, just keeping it real. I'll be in church in approximately less than three hours from now, and if anyone cracks jokes or makes demeaning comments about R. Kelly's current and former victims, talking about how they're fast, and how they should've come forward... Nah, Hollywood gets away with sexual deviance against minors. A large percentage of them have bought R. Kelly's music, at music stores and on iTunes/Google Play Music. No surprise, huh? As much as I love my church family, I cannot accommodate the ignorance that's gone on for my whole life so far. *Sigh* This has blackened my heart, I just... I am at a loss, not only for R. Kelly's victims, but every child and youth who will be targeted by men and women who cannot be trusted.

I will always support Black Empowerment, Black Lives Matter and Black History... But I have zero tolerance for the enabling of pedophiles and rapists. Even the jokes. It's distasteful.

If you are a supporter/apologist of R. Kelly, Sparkle, Marques Houston, and any other person who'd used/subjected minors to assault and/or grooming, get off my page. And stop pretending to be a huge Aaliyah fan... We've lost her because the adults in her life had failed in exchange for her fame. We also owe Michael Jackson's family an apology for destroying his character and career under false allegations, while R. Kelly was still a free man, preying on girls and grooming boys to become like him... And all the evidence of his crimes were readily available on the archives while I was in Junior High. While we're at it, Kitti Jones and Drea Kelly need to take several seats. They've had every opportunity to approach the police. They've known what R. Kelly did to all those girls and how it's destroyed their youth. They are the poorest examples of how to put sex offenders in their place, just so they can get money now that #MeToo (who never gave a damn about half of your experiences, unless you were penetrated by a man)... Nuh-uh! The lives that were destroyed by rape, molestation, grooming and exploitation matter more than the money anyone might make from a case that should've been dealt with decades ago! My heart is very heavy throughout this post. I know it's Sabbath hours, but I'm currently listening to "Don't Stay" by Linkin Park, because it truly reflects my thoughts and memories, in the wake of #SurvivingRKelly.

Everyone (especially Black people) who put on R. Kelly during weddings and birthday celebrations, I've taken notes. You will not be trusted around my future children (if it's meant to be). I've never healed, yet. The community does not offer a safe space to heal from the damage that's been done. So when I hear about Chester Bennington (Linkin Park -I hope I spelled his name right), AJ and Nick (Backstreet Boys - their parents stood up for their sons), B2K (especially Raz-B), IMx, Sammy, O'Ryan, the victim of Brock Turner, a few victims of Bill Cosby and that actor from 7th Heaven, the young girl who was sexually assaulted and exploited by that loser who was granted a chance to finish up his studies at UofC (University of Calgary), Natasha McKenna who was stripped, dehumanized and tasered in her last moments by eight men, the former victims of Eddie Long who were forcibly silenced, the girl who was raped, hospitalized and raped again in the hospital by her father and brother... This is real ish. I have no more words. Leave my page if you support R. Kelly... Special shoutout to John Legend for keeping it real. Another special shoutout to Terry Crews who spoke up. To the victims of Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, you also need to get your voices heard, because you also matter. To the victims of Ryan Seacrest, the same also applies. May Corey Haim Rest in Power, because Charlie Sheen is getting his just reward for what he did decades ago. Although I'm glad B2K is reuniting for tour, I've been conflicted with how R. Kelly wrote your popular hits. That wasn't your fault, though. Your former manager (Chris Stokes - another pedophile) had that set up for your grooming - good thing y'all left TUG behind when you did. Other artists and notable faces in the entertainment industry - you don't have to comment, but I beseech you to STOP collaborating with R. Kelly. What he did to those girls is beyond me. If you keep enabling him, you're now guilty for proving that rape is okay.

It is not.💯