#( oops i didn't realize i tagged the wrong account my bad )

[zarvasace2]

Every time I see you in my notes there's a little mini panic haha

How is the mutuals tag there you're so cool

Like not in a 'tell me I'm cool' way you're so awesome and it's crazy that you decided it was worth it to follow me so thank you

(anon cause social anxiety oops)

Aww that's really kind of you to say, thank you!!

Also, unironically and entirely seriously: being "cool" is a matter of deciding that you are. Unnecessary personal story time! My apologies in advance for how long and rambly this got.

When I was uhhhh 21 or 22, I went to a birthday party for a friend who had just turned 18. As you can imagine, there were a bunch of just-graduated high schoolers there, and at some point, the party (like 10 people?) migrated to someone's car in the parking lot of the place and turned on a Queen CD. I didn't really participate (some social anxiety on my part) but I watched them sing along, and it looked like they were having fun. Sometime during Killer Queen, I realized that it wasn't just fun: these kids were competing with one another, on probably a subconscious level, to see who knew the most Queen songs and maybe who could sing them the best. They were trying to prove to each other how cool they were.

That's about when I had the epiphany that being "cool" isn't anything specific you can have or do (and to be fair, going to a very nerdy high school where getting into Biotech 2010 was the height probably helped that too.) You can change anything about yourself, of course you can, but there is no inherent quality, no certain color of hair or classic rock song you know, that will make you "cool." Because coolness is a construct. We as humans assign it to other people.

My dude I am a mid-20s girl living at home, with a mid-tier part-time job, I didn't finish my art degree and I'm unsure if I'm going to, I've never kissed anyone, I don't have a significant other, I haven't published a book, my bank account is always tight, I haven't painted in months, most of my friends are online, and I feel like I'm losing time to make any kind of impact or get a career going as a creative. None of that is bad. I quite like my life, even if I wish that I was making progress in areas where I'm not.

My point is: I don't think I'm all that cool, but I also am not trying to prove myself to anyone. We as humans assign value and hierarchy to other people just to, like, shame ourselves or something. There's nothing wrong with ambition, but you can't tell yourself that you can't do something because "reasons." (There are valid reasons. The normal emotion of despair is not one of them.)

My point is: you ARE cool. You, reading this. Be confident. Be yourself, and authentic. Don't assign other people cool values, and don't assign yourself one, either. It doesn't matter! Love recklessly! Love how and when you want to! Sing even if you don't think you're good! Wear those silly shoes and feel awesome in them! Do swirly eyeliner!

This just turned into that wooden puppet picture book I'm sorry

[sgnsubin]

oopsy

for @sejunsgn

     the entire trip has been extremely fun so far and it’s only the second day. mostly, subin just likes trying new things and enjoys spending time with people who he loves. and all of his favourite hyungs are here currently, and there’s so many interesting things to do all day long. perhaps it’s a bit childish of him, but considering the fact that he’s always surrounded by people who are older than him that baby him? it’s not unexpected. 

     perhaps he’s just a simple boy who enjoys time with his loved ones.  

     either way, he’s been very much enjoying himself and today is no different. he had found out that there was going to be a meteor shower, and had dragged sejun with him on a nature slash photo walk before the meteor shower was supposed to start. they had found a lot of interesting things—including the fact that apparently the older male was absolutely terrible with taking photos. 

     “hey hyung,” subin comments as they’re heading back out after dropping off his camera back in the cabin, turning to look at the art student in curiosity. “do you think the dock might be a better place to watch the meteor shower? we could go check it out and then text the hyungs and let them know ...?”