#(( ask ;; ʷʰᵉᶰ ᵈʳᵉᵃᵈ ᵈᶤˢᵃᵖᵖᵉᵃʳᵉᵈ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵒᵘʳ ʰᵉᵃʳᵗˢ ))

[dolgelo]

" You weren't going to say goodbye? you were just going to leave? "

So much for her plan to go smoothly; the call received a while ago, the carefulness - almost the fear - when changing her bloodied uniform into something more presentable, the hours spent in silence, inside her dark bedroom. All for nothing, to be caught like that, a child with hands still dirtied of jam. She had made sure to talk to her phone as softly as her hoarse throat would have allowed her, checking with the driver sent by Kikuno on the exact moment the family car would have arrived before the dorm doors, to finally pick her up. When such matters and decision, usually, would have involved her companions, today it was not the case. Not a mention, not a word to Yamagishi, not even one to advise Akihiko on how to proceed: she had planned to escape the heavy air of the dorm as swiftly as a thief– instead, first Yukari, then Akihiko had intercepted her.

« Perhaps. »  she replied. It took a lot for her to speak in a calm tone; not a single note of her voice was used in defiance, it was the truth. And what use was, now, to hide behind some poorly thought-out lies; she knew him, she knew he would have not had any ill thought before her sincerity. It was a matter of minutes before the driver would’ve been there, and the dormitory lounge is silent, dimly lit, with Koromaru sitting by the muted TV, and Akihiko by the counter, arms crossed, brows furrowed.

She took a big breath, lungs filling not with a sigh, but of cold air – she had to say something else.  « I mean, I am in no conditions for any of that. »  she continued, recalling if all she had inside her small bag - waiting by the door, would be necessary for the drive and stay home. Home. Her gaze did lift, while for a moment, as it tried to avoid the screen of the television. By sunrise, she thought, the news would be circulating everywhere – she didn’t want to imagine it. But the thought settled in her stomach, a heavy icy boulder. She wondered, simply, how she looked like – how he was seeing her… a small comforting thought, the fact she had every right in that cursed world to not look okay–   « I must go. »

Nails dug in the palm of her hand, as silence fell over them again. Mitsuru quickly eyed him. Part of her soul she supposed  - the untamed half she so hardly had tried to repress with the years, instead wished to be louder, as wild as her Persona in a rampage. It wished to feel her own throat burn again, like back in the observation tower. It wanted to remind the boy he too had once left, with no notice – an exact month before. Lost, he had disappeared, to come back after school. How could her failed attempt be any different ?  She wished, desired to reply back and tell him, but it was useless. Her mouth gaped but the words died on the tip of her tongue; it’d have been a show of weakness.   « It’ll take me some time, but I promise to call you once I reach home. I trust you’ll take care of the others and the dorm, in my absence, Akihiko. »

[dolgelo]

😘 phbbbbttttt

he leans forward, grabbing very delicately of her waist as if he’s scared she’s about to break under his touch, like an antique bisque doll – nothing further from reality, in truth. trepidation has taken over her mind already and leaves her hanging, wondering among the softness around her how it’ll all go and how it’ll all end too. nothing but his visage occupies her sight, which is fine by Mitsuru, somehow – that’s what the voice tells her. and she smiles, accommodating almost, cupping his pale cheek in her hand and blinking fast. the voice has told her to give in, and so must have been for him too - because they do not need words to move and understand each other even there, even now. 

while she wonders how does she appear to him, laying on the unknown bed with her clothes still, her uniform being almost to tight now – she really needs that shower and peace, her thumb strokes his cheek. yet, it feels quite wrong, that is not what the voice tells her to do. she’d need a moment, she’d excuse herself soon and make a run for the bathroom, alone. she’d not take much, she never did - don’t people say absence made a heart grow fonder ?  even a small shower would do, in their case. they have all the time in the world, the voice assured her they truly do. and she can tell by a glance he knows as well, his eyes generally never lie. 

the mattress has sunk a bit when he had joined her, a detail she has barely noticed. it feels strange to have him so close, she can almost feel him breathe on her cleavage and neck, heavier than usual – through the fabric to her skin, that while covered in her blouse do feel slightly hot. cold water, cold water. fast, fast. to convey such urge with a glance should have been way more difficult. she closes her eyes, and the voice speaks again, clearer and more insistent this time around. 

      Such is my wish: let your desire free from your shackles…

how does the voice know that ?  she does not mind much that one of her innermost secrets and longings could be now clear to the boy – now when so close. he is an open book for the girl too, now, and the flush of his cheeks is there to confirm it. she gently pinches his chin, and a second later a sense of fulfilment pervades her as she feels his lips over hers. the eyes she has just opened a moment ago shut again, his hand still on her waist. 

      Pleasure is what you seek… you stand on the doorway of bliss…

chaste as a small spring blossom, the kiss barely presses against her. the newborn sentiment in her chest takes the best of her, as the voice numbs her reason and pushes for instinct to take the lead. he has been almost towering over her, but that changes the moment she gently props her up from the round mattress, to meet his kiss. bliss… ?  her lips slightly part in response, and he follows. the kiss continues, just like the voice suggests. no, it commands. the uniform is definitely way out of place now–  now, with him being more vehement. what if–

      Embrace your desire, you can’t deny your instincts…

one of her red nails presses gently against his throat, like a knife to the jugular as she stops the contact. there’s red lipstick on his mouth. she pants, once. he does not seem puzzled, he almost looks transfixed. she does too, after a moment of rational lucidity. she then nudges with a smirk at the black ribbon at his collar  - she did not feel like undoing his clothes herself, the voice almost makes her feel too tired to even talk, think or move -  and then slips from under him, fast, away - to stands up and head to the bathroom. cold, cold, where is it ?

      You can’t deny–

         «  I need a shower, I’ll be quick. Then we can continue…  »  

[dolgelo]

karaoke

♕ ♕ONE  WORD  PROMPTS||  accepting  ||  @hermisent 

she would have never agreed to go there anymore, ever !  following the happy bunch there, inside  ‘ Mandragora ’  had proved to be a mistake in more ways than she would have ever thought - perhaps a sudden divine sign she was not meant to enter that place at all. her first and only experience at the karaoke place had happened when still attending middle school, in a timid attempt to blend in with her ex-classmates; it had not gone too well for the heiress, who had found herself more alone than what she’d have been anywhere else – but watching the other girls having fun, and simply stare at them singing some songs she had never heard had felt honestly depressing. since then, the local was accurately avoided. 

but she had met Iori, Akihiko and Arisato strolling around the Mall as she passed by as well, and they couldn’t have not invited her to join their karaoke reservation. as it was a Saturday, it was truly impressive they had managed to book a room for an entire hour; the place was usually too crowded for comfort in the weekends. although pouting at the idea, Minako’s insistence had been too strong to resist, and from her chores, Mitsuru had found herself entering the small, dark room and narrow her eyes at the lyrics on Tv. 

at her protest, everyone had responded joyously. the girl could not understand, though, the reason why Akihiko was left to sit comfortably on the couch and stare at the screen, silent as a fish, but she had to be teased and teased about her silence– !  it must have been Minako’s plan all along, her and Junpei were challenging one another on pop songs the Empress had never heard before. having too much fun. she had timidly decided to wait for the hour to pass nibbling the snacks in the room as Akihiko was doing, when suddenly Iori’s hand grabbed on her arm and dragged her. almost literally, out of her seat to the screen’s proximity. she could not even yell, the music was a tad too loud and his off-key vocals were–  !  a second later, she was holding to a pink microphone, the exhortations of her companions pushing the redhead to complete the song they were now singing. oh, she knew that one. Featherman-R’s opening; Amada watched it in the lounge at times. the song was rather catchy… and, worse, familiar even.

the song was about to run out, the images on the screen getting faster and faster, the colours almost blinding her. the pink utensil was forcefully raised by Junpei’s hand to her lips. she was thankful her last line did not require for high notes. why was she doing that ?  couldn’t time flow just a little faster ?  she glared with shock at the smiling Junpei, before her line came up...

         «  Let’s go... Featherman~  » 

my muse pulls your muse up on stage with them to sing some karaoke songs.

[dolgelo]

[ retrieve ]

♕ ♕REVERSING  DOMINANCE||   your muse requesting mine to retrieve something  ||  @crossxskulled  

why did he have to throw it so far away from the spot ?  as the question lightly floated in her thoughts and impression, alongside with the oppressing hot air all around, she cursed herself for having chosen to accompany the bizarre group of people till there. the narrowest streets of the city weren’t still as clear as daylight for the heiress; she had, in fact, let the blond guy guide them there. the local was small, claustrophobic and the steam around her frame did not help either. warmth and summer seasons had always felt insufferable for the Empress, anyway. she doubted Akihiko would spill such private matters to a high school student: her silent prayer was that it would have all ended soon enough for Mitsuru to call it a night and return working.

Sakamoto’s voice had reached her, cheerful and bright in volume, doing one great length of distance to touch her ear, at last – followed by an eerie echoing effect. they might have been alone, but somehow Mitsuru felt billions of pairs of eyes lurking, hiding anywhere, pointing at her. her form, her curves… each basket, each semi-open locker did provoke a sense of desolation mixed with shivers. a public bath in a sketchy alley ?  at that hour of the night… ?!  so nice of him to invite both Akihiko and her to such a place. yet the moment she had peeked inside, the Empress had sensed something about the building was off – heat and steam apart. if she were to describe it, she’d have said it felt way too rustic for her tastes; yet Akihiko had sounded excited at the prospect. she had followed the effectively happy duo, with way less enthusiasm and smiles. they had run to the male section, Ryuji instructing her on which path to follow for the girls’ showers.

she thought it was already nice enough that the two compartments were separated, men and women… or she would have never heard the end of it. they did both probably were aware of it; they knew she would have never bathed among naked individuals of the oppos– !  but yes, the moment she had peeked innocently inside, to see two old men leaving the place, all her good intentions had disappeared into thin air. patiently, way, way too patiently, Mitsuru had found a stool to sit on  ( covered by a clean towel, naturally )  and decided to wait for the two to finish their bonding and leisure time in the weird location, in their hot water tub. she knew way many more refined hot springs in the most famous areas, inside hotels and spas, that did value privacy and decency more than that very place. all of the remains of Mitsuru’s desire to, perhaps, relax in the water a bit, had gone all down the drain…

and now he was calling for her to throw them an extra towel ?!  with a corner and a small glass door separating the boys from Mitsuru… they had forgotten it ?  it might have been too much for the heiress. she hoped, in the bottom of her heart, that no one would have ever known of finding out that the CEO of one of Japan’s most famous conglomerations, was asked to retrieve a bunch of towels for two men with no clothes, wet and probably inebriated by the hot fumes !  it would have meant the end of her career. 

         «  You will pay for this…this is too much. HOW– um, you two, how am I going to throw the towels without entering the male area ?!  »

she raised her voice, so that they could hear her protest, when she promptly got up and started looking around in the lockers room. the one she had been sitting on wouldn’t have done them any good. she quickly started opening random ones, grabbing all she could find useful inside them. with heavy steps, she approached the corridor and door. muttering more protests, her body moved without even realizing: she slammed the door opened with a loud noise, her right hand moving to quickly throw its content towards the two shadows. the smell of herbs and steam made her almost cough; so once the deed was done, the girl shut the door close again… she wondered if the towels had fallen miserably on the floor or had just landed into the very same water they were using. 

         «  Get ready and dressed, now !  »  

[dolgelo]

Do you put pineapple toppings on pizzas?

♕ ♕TEN  TIMES  THE  TRUTH||  8  remaining    

«  If I may be honest, I never ate that kind of meal. Yet I know what it’s made of and how it is prepared and cooked, and I feel sure to say that putting something as pineapple on it feels wrong. You must consider the aesthetic and the tastes; for example, I admit pineapple tastes delicious… but the combination sounds and feels wrong in my mind.  »

[dolgelo]

“It looks like today’s going to be another hot one!”

♕ ♕FRUIT BASKET||  accepting  ||  @enshijou 

perhaps tying her hair up in a messy bun, just like she did when taking a relaxing bath, or in a long ponytail too would have eased the sense of fatigue the hot temperatures did usually bring forth on the girl. but it would have looked so alien, of her, especially at school. physical education hours were the only ones where she’d have gladly contemplated such ideas - but it was simply due to the fact she found sweat extremely gross. those days were a lot to bear, and she’d often asked herself where, the rest of her peers, did find enough energy to be that active. Mochizuki included.

his personality would be described just as sunny as the very shining star itself above them, the one giving the girl the much of discomfort and increasing her silent yet desperate yearning for something cold, icy to the touch – or more simply, a fan. she’d use to say one’s discomfort due temperatures was but a mere psychological fault, an issue one could fix by simply not thinking about it. but those days seemed to be there just to test her and that theory of hers. it wasn’t easy, especially when her weakness did reside in fire. 

         «  Indeed… Fall has never been this hot… Mochizuki, are you truly okay with that muffler around your neck. I doubt I would appear as calm as you do.  »

the yellow scarf did seem like a trademark, it also made him easily recognizable in large crowds - but there had to be more behind it. she had never thought of asking the boy, and now the thought simply crossed in sequence her mind and tongue with the most natural way possible. she delicately freed her wrists of the blouse cuffs and moved her long bangs away from her eyes, for a little sigh. winter had its perks, that was a certainty. 

         «  I know this is one mere preparation of a very frigid and strong winter… still, I can’t help but to think if the school shouldn’t allow lighter uniforms, these special days. Odagiri would never forgive me for this decision, though.  » 

[dolgelo]

[ direct ] 🕺

♕ ♕REVERSING  DOMINANCE||   your muse taking mine by the chin to look yours in the eyes    ||  @sabazio  

the girl had instructed him to accompany the squad, if their Leader commanded to explore Tartarus - yet when opening the front door of the dormitory to enter it, in the heart of the night, she found him looking way too proper, near the window. the Dark Hour did debilitate their bodies in more than a way, and as a matter of fact, Mitsuru knew she could have found Akihiko returning from a battle with a way messier look and clothes – he’d then, usually, go back to his room, lock him and get ready for the night of sleep. something had to be off. he must have been up till that hour to wait for her, she thought, one intrusive idea that made the girl avoid his gaze, at least at first. the air felt unusually heavy, still, and she knew he would have said something. and if he had just read her mind, the boy got indeed closer…

while the average girl would have called Mitsuru’s outing entertaining, luxurious and unique as an experience, the reality for her was much different. being born with such a mighty name and destiny, recently she’d have felt the total opposite; the golden girl could now be toyed and controlled at the simplest caprice and whim. shown around, presented to men she would have probably never seen again, like a fancy, brilliant crown jewel, or a dying caged bird. she had always suspected her betrothed would have requested her company for an evening, ever since her Father’s loss, it happened more often than ever before. she had grieved for enough times, those days of utter sadness and nothingness had long gone – but somehow being in his presence did make that same aura loom over her heart once more. would they have shared more, perhaps, the girl could have lived through said dates  ( while she despised that term )  with lighter heart and mind. 

the Group would have soon collapsed without an adult figure giving people the impression no damage was sustained after his ex-CEO’s death. the girl was no one to deny it would have been true, that a wedding would have solidified her family and conglomerate’s images, the Kirijo name would still resound powerfully after that. it was the same promise Mitsuru made to herself, every time she ought to leave the dormitory for a dinner of that kind, renouncing to training, studying or simply staying in the company of many more genuine people. 

he had indeed gotten closer, touched gently of her shoulder and asked what had happened. an attempt to pry out of her own mouth more details – for years he had tried, and tried and tried to do it, without ever succeeding. now his questions had become more decisive, sharper. it stressed her out, incredibly so – so much that she glanced briefly at him, folding her winter coat in her arms, before changing subjects, asking him if the rest of S.E.E.S. was in bed. anxious that he might have spotted something wrong or unusual in her face, look or expression terrorized her, making her last word shake a bit: it was the sign he was expecting. Akihiko jumped right in front of her, preventing the heiress from escaping his inquiry and running towards the stairs. the question was posed again, now more insistingly. the distance now a mere concept, Mitsuru would still stubbornly lower her gaze and protest.

god, if anyone needed to stay out of this, it probably was him – !  typical of him, to wait for the very mere second of vulnerability to attack, to cut her ways of escape short. usual Akihiko. he did now sound worried. his hand rose, and soon his thumb and finger did found themselves on her chin, gently rising it. now manifesting her powerlessness, the long white neck exposed as it gently bent back a bit to allow the two to lock eyes comfortably, Mitsuru found the lounge silence oppressing her. the touch of his leather-gloved fingers a way too familiar feeling… 

the scene tasted like dejà vù. they were at their first year of high school, and she had fallen from her motorcycle. once home, Akihiko had noticed, perhaps due to the big bruise on Mitsuru’s jawline and the bloodied hands, scratched against the asphalt. nothing more than that, and a big headache – the boy, perspicacious as ever, had panicked at her sight and had swiftly offered to call a medic. at her negative reactions, he had gotten closer, grabbed her by the chin, not as delicately as now, and in search of traumas, signs of something much bigger lying underneath due to the fall, had commanded her the same, exact thing… 

she obliged. now her dark eyes fixed on his, as he almost seemed to scan her. a tone of fear did pervade his eyes, was it ?  it silenced her. the stress disappeared, now it was only them. as their breaths mingled together, as close as they were, she gathered enough courage to raise her right arm, and pat gently his shoulder. a deep breath, and a crooked little smile, tired and surprised, both gentle yet frightened, the girl finally pondered on what to say to tranquillize him, if lies would have even worked anymore… Akihiko’s honest sentiment was comprehensible: it was the first time she had left the dorm for her fiancé and returned that late, it was Monday already. but she couldn’t bear to see him like that. no, not for her absurd situation. oh, it’d have broken his heart when he’d have known what the two families were planning for the next spring…

         «  I promise you, I am alright. As always… you end up waiting for me, when I told you not to. You– we should probably head to bed, or we won’t be presentable tomorrow morning, we have school.   »

[dolgelo]

@sabazio

it all felt so warm - but most of all, it felt safe. had the two of them stood in the middle of the room, instead of being as close as they were, Mitsuru was certain his words would haven’t had the same effect. almost grateful for that moment of complete privacy, the girl had taken it as it came - expressions of trust like those were rare on both of their parts, and to be able to witness each other in such an  ‘ environment ’  had something inspiring and tender to it. 

sitting on the fresh sheets with one facing so intimately the other, her legs were loosely circling his waist and her arms resting, light, on his shoulders. just a bunch of inches closer and the two might have found themselves tangled in yet another inebriant embrace. yet, still as fatigued and tired as they had both just happened to become, they needed no words to agree they might have favoured a little breather now, a chance to recompose themselves. they both knew when to call for a truce.

that very space was all theirs to be used. the bed was comfortable, the room as spacious and well-furnished as she had left it months prior, to fly to the capital. while her mother would have taken care of anything in her place, Mitsuru had eagerly waited for that moment with child-like trepidation: she was not alone. it had been a shame fate had wanted them to return to their hometown in conjunction with the dinner held each year for the anniversary of the Group’s inauguration. after two decades and habits like those were still to fade away -- one big bother Mitsuru did gladly forget, until it happened to be too late for creating an escape route. 

while Akihiko had decided to politely stand aside, she could have never followed him in this decision. the girl had justified him and invited him to still participate. what he had seen, or thought, she was not sure -- his words now did externalize what had troubled him for the rest of the night. and Mitsuru felt it, sensed it in his posed smiles and rigid posture. the thought made her shiver lightly now, so close to him; her arms left his shoulder blades to fall again by her sides and on the mattress. still, she kept her line of sight high, to his same level. more than worried, he did almost sound troubled. the girl softly cleared her throat, sure her voice would have appeared weirder than usual, before whispering to him, half-a-smirk. 

         «  Do not imply that, Akihiko. You know that can’t be possible... how can it be ?  »

yet that too did die soon. safe, warm, protected. she knew the man wouldn’t have let anyone lay a hand on her. the suspect he might have seen all those young businessmen approaching her tonight as something to defend her from... but that he couldn’t have touched, at the same time, did devour her heart and certainties. she was no different from him. it took her a moment inside her head to understand she was exactly the same as Akihiko if not worse. his present affirmation was valid, as much as his now furrowed brows and the ghost of his usual smile -- oh, the one she adored so much... 

still, he remained attractive too, he was a kind man and their reality wasn’t inside their high school anymore, back when his group of fans would carefully avoid her presence to no anger Mitsuru and watch out for any improper behaviour. there must have been some female recruits, in his same department, who must have... !  she shook her head to keep away those mad thoughts, her hands travelling back up, slowly caressing one of his scars on the chest.

         «  Conceited men like that don’t interest me... they’d think I belong to them, instead of it being my simple will and decision. And I can’t--- can’t let that happen.  »

what did still prevent the heiress from letting all those men -- everyone, the entire country ! -- finally know she didn’t have eyes but for the man keeping her on her lap, and that was now playing with a long strand of her hair ?  their jobs ?  each single time the occasion had appeared propitious, something like that had to happen. 

she scooted herself closer to him, propping the sudden shift on her thigh muscles. her left hand on his neck, chin to his lips. they did feel a bit humid still, but nonetheless, always so soft and delicate. a thumb pressed over the lower one.    

         «  They mean nothing to the woman I am, no matter what they say... um, ces hommes là, ils sont commes des chiens. Do as I do, just let them bark. Now I’m here, to stay with you... and what can they do about it... ?  »

and nothing else did matter. to be and to belong -- the difference was all there. she caught him smiling at her words, and her heart felt now made of pure feathers, slight and not as heavy as before. the vision brought her to smile back -- uh, she would have needed to find her clothes and head for the mirror soon, to get rid of the remaining traces of makeup. Akihiko did not seem like a man who would have needed reassurance for those matters, yet the episode made her feel more wanted and flustered than ever - she couldn’t have left him, not now, nor tomorrow or any other day. she underestimated how important he was, for Mitsuru...

she jolted, those remaining centimetres separating them being finally filled, as she propped now to sit straighter and to look at him in the eyes. so grey even in the darkness around them. a moment later, her lips touched his, the shock of electricity running through her body and senses went to replace the previous shivers. brief, quick yet intense, it made her wish for more too as she broke the connection herself and headed for the sheets to the edge of the king-sized bed.

         «  Wait here, will you ?  I’m not going anywhere.  »  

@sabazio​  ||  a list of don’ts.

[dolgelo]

" I don't know if there even is a Heaven, but... have you ever thought about what you'll say to your father when you see him? "

♕ ♕TEN  TIMES  THE  TRUTH||  6  remaining  ||  @sabazio 

to imagine herself even briefly standing once again face to face with her dearest father, had something of absurd yet sweet about it. all her childhood, for what she could remember of it, had been spent for him - that, a fact he’d always reprimand his daughter to be doing. he had never approved of her choices, yet had continued guiding her, a step after another, till independence, till enough powerful to know where to go, and what to do with her life, and powers. the following days after his demise, the girl had thought all her worth had also ceased to exist with his last breath – how wrong had she been… !  still, they all had fought and seen so many gods and demons throughout those last years, that believing for a moment in a heavenly place like that wasn’t so hard. Akihiko knew how she felt about it, regardless.

imagination could never be tamed. not when dictated in shape and forms by emotions as strong as that, the purest love and devotion she ever felt. her hand closed together on her lap, when fingers started interwining, one with another; not a sign of timid behaviour, or shyness – when it could just be said it was eagerness. she pictured the man smiling, though, that was the most important part. then all came naturally, as if she had always been sure of it:

         «  I’d tell him that I was, and that I still am so very happy. Happy to have had him as my own father and guide, happy to have been born into this world as I currently am. I wouldn’t be here without his sacrifice, I want him to hear my words of gratitude for that.  »

her brown eyes shined of a variety of warm, positive emotions; she wondered if those might have looked like tears prying to fall down her cheeks, yet that was not like it. perhaps, Mitsuru thought, the thought simply moved her more than she had imagined. 

         «  And by then, I hope... just how many adventures will I experience ?  I’ll make sure to tell him all of it…  » 

[dolgelo]

‘ i’m calling the nurse. ’

♕ ♕HURT  MEME||  not   accepting  ||  @transiens  

it took her one word to jolt in fear on her seat. the body shook as a whole, as if she had been through the sudden, most powerful electrical shock a human could endure. the reaction was that similar, and it made her feel her forehead and cheeks grow colder in agitation. the boy had all the best intentions in the world, his tone and face did speak louder than what he was suggesting her to do; yet she could simply not allow the meeting to happen. first and foremost, the hospital has never been her favourite place to be – a nest of bad memories and chemical smells that’d permeate her brain and confuse her; secondly, she had absolutely no intentions of letting anyone she didn’t know well enough visit her – not now and not for that ! 

         «  You won’t be calling anyone, not when it’s my definitive right to decide so !  Haven’t I told you already, that it’s but a scratch ?!  No nurse !  »

the girl pointed angrily at the wound. the temple did hurt to the touch, her painted fingernail stopping just millimetres before the sign of a bump, and the still fresh, red, hurt and open skin. while on the process of healing, there was no denying it did not look good. the small traces of old drops of dried blood around it  ( the ones she had failed to conceal with water and a clean handkerchief at school before being dragged to the entrance of Tatsumi Memorial Hospital )  did lose themselves in the red of her hair. as if she had called upon it by herself with her protest, the left side of her head would go through a sharp and quick fit of pain, the temple almost throbbing.

she kept her eyes closed for a moment, shutting them to let the fit of pain pass and disappear, just as it had come in the first place. nothing he had invited her to do was wrong per se, Mitsuru had to thank him for his generosity; she had never seen accompanying anyone anywhere out of his own will… if asked to, he might have obliged, out of boredom principally - but given her aversion against hospital, that could never be the case. the thought of having such a close, private meeting with those people felt breathtaking, and not in a good sense. her panic could be justified; but what if something was wrong… ?  anyone in the dorm would have been worried, where would she be taken to… ?  

Mitsuru sighed. if even her simpler blood sample did require the heiress almost a day of mental preparation, that incident - sudden as it had been, did at least need for a moment of recollection of both courage and calm. ah– !  funny… 

[dolgelo]

(pay) or (approval)! (please go for whatever one would suit you the most or the one you have the most muse for! apologies for bothering!)

♕ ♕REVERSING  DOMINANCE||  your muse paying for mine  ||  @enshijou 

she blinked rapidly, the eyelids closing so fast made her vision flow in a weirder manner, just as if the scene was blurred. as if she couldn’t believe indeed what had present itself, before her eyes on that Saturday afternoon. perhaps no one would have believed her words if she was to, one far away day, describe the scene - but not a pinch, and not even the most terrible of the scares or loudest of the noises would have woken her up from that one vision; it was indeed Ryoji holding something out for her to grab. behind him, a visibly annoyed Minato looked at the scene, definitely pretending he didn’t care or that he had nothing to do with that, with Ryoji, nor with the content in his hands.

the boys had surprised her, while it wasn’t too much of a novelty to expect to find the girl working in the Student Council room, on the second floor of the building. no one around her, Mitsuru had decided to give a look at the newest reports to file for the past Kyoto trip, before heading home for the weekend; most of the students and collaborators for the council had already left the school. she preferred quietness and peace, and the image of the two boys inspired anything but those values. the silence had indeed been broken by the slamming of the door and by news that hit her unexpectedly hard. so, a few seconds later from their arrival, the picture was crystal clear in her head already.

who in the heavens had told him she liked that kind of food ?  – she’d have dared to say the place did pique her curiosity, street food was a ‘delicacy’ she wouldn’t taste very often. they’d arrange their dinner as precariously as they could at the dorm - not to mention the differences in tastes and preferences they did share, and at her real home, Mitsuru simply had multitudes of gourmet meals and food to try. 

         «  Takoyaki… are those from… ?  »

she ignored how Ryoji had managed to enter the school with those in hands. nor how fast he must have run to go from Gekkoukan to the nearest takoyaki stand, and return. she hummed, getting up from her seat with eyes filled in disbelief. he was offering those to her… he must have bought them himself. she thought it had something of chivalrous in it – to offer food to a girl was a kind gesture coming from a boy that young. good manners at elegant and refined dinners did command a man to at least offer his lady dinner – !  but that was a different circumstance and atmosphere. and she… was a Kirijo !  it would have been her, paying for… well, at least she did pray they would have shared the meal together. judging by the number of it, she would have never been able to finish the portion.  

[dolgelo]

❝ so you tasted it, did you like it? ❞

♕ ♕THE  FIVE  SENSES||  accepting  ||  @alternea      

a hand rose pale among the curls of red, moving a loose strand behind her right ear in a mix of excitement and embarrassment. she guessed innocently that one wouldn’t have also been your every day’s reaction, but to say the least, the heiress couldn’t help but feel still proved by the experience. it had been thrilling, she had honestly felt like a sort of western actress for a moment, under the spotlight of common life and novelty. it had been a blast, truly, to enter Wild Duck and to exit it unscathed, with more to be able to tell her friends. not to mention she had entered the building with little to no hesitation, just like her leader had recommended her to do. she had ordered her meal, all had gone surprisingly well for Mitsuru. 

the day had turned to be much brighter, now, with all that gathered courage and decision. it was not new for Mitsuru to show her more resolute side of her character when at school, or when in battle, but that was way different than what she’d have imagined. impressive how many students her age and younger would stop there almost daily for a snack !  she envied such lack of shyness and awkwardness. hers was but a small conquest, that evening.

         «  The new hamburger you told me I should have tried ?  Oh, I did of course. It had a particular texture that reminded me of Octopia’s takoyaki - one I could and still can not identify. But the taste wasn’t too bad.  »

she had approached the girl behind the counter, before leaving, asking for clarifications about the recipe. something her company sure hadn’t appreciated much. and right there, as the confusion and nervousness had permeated the air around Mitsuru and the interrogated girl, she had sadly confirmed on the spot that the recipe couldn’t be publicly shared  ( too bad, considering her family chefs at her place could have replicated the treat for Mitsuru to eat whenever she pleased ). the downside of such an experience and adventure, though, was that now Mitsuru felt quite... full. she was used to small portions anyway, but this felt more than she could take. perhaps she needed a moment of rest.

         «  I liked it indeed. And managed to use little to no aid of utensils again.  » 

[dolgelo]

♕ ♕ SECONDHAND  RAPTURE ||  accepting  ||  @sabazio  

his words almost made her forget she was holding a porcelain cup, that it wouldn’t have taken much for her to drop the precious set on her lap and make a mess. the rattle of the teacup on her hand was almost imperceptible, a sign of faltering she did not want him to catch -- or the night would have never ended. she did imagine he’d not have taken much to find her in the command room, intent in drinking tea alone with the buzzing sounds coming from the various types of machinery against the wall -- idly scanning the area of Iwatodai for Shadows activity. useless, now that the Dark Hour had passed. useless, again, since nothing of that cursed hour seemed to make any more sense to them. useless.

         «  Akihiko... ?  »

her eyelids felt heavy and barely widened to glance at him after his statement, her dark pupils enlarged due to the lack of strong sources of light. instinctively, her trail of thought wandered to the content of her skirt pocket; he had given her that photo just a bunch of days before, but no hour could be serenely spent without a subtle glance at it. true, some members of the Squad were missing, but that didn’t matter. worried that the photo’s edges might deteriorate, slowly with each time she had held said picture, she swore to always put it back in its envelope, exactly as it had been given her. 

his arrival up there had made Mitsuru wonder the most different scenarios and things -- that he might have been looking for a word or gesture of gratitude on her part, that he might have had more about the trip to say -- although the girl was honestly tired to hear the same thing over and over again. scared that her mood might have made evenings in the lounge awkward for anyone else, the command room had become her safe haven, and would have not paid much attention to any visitors -- but Akihiko. 

the truth was Mitsuru had become a rather sporadic presence at the dorm ever since the funeral, with her oldest friend being informed briefly, and formally by the girl herself, of whether or not she could and would have come back to the dormitory. now that corporates and members of the Group board had moved on from the loss, while things had not gotten any easier for Mitsuru, she had found it appropriate to at least return there to attend school again, in a grey illusion of pure normality. as always, he could read beyond that and see through her mask -- no matter how many she would have worn. evoking Penthesilea was getting harder by the day and she felt useless stepping through the threshold of Tartarus -- she had asked, tonight, to be left alone at the dormitory, she had seen them go without her, respecting her will.  

now that they were back, and Akihiko had sat next to her  - interrupting her tea, caffeine being the official excuse to be using to herself to justify her lost hours of sleep -  where else could have Mitsuru ran off to ?  to home again ?  yet, the darkest thought had clouded her voice of reason over there, multiple times. the thought of have never been born, to wish for a quick end. had it been a fatality that the bullet hadn’t hit her when hanging from that cross ?  his open book to read. the porcelain teacup rattled more visibly in her hand.

         «  Don’t say that. To lose me... ?  »

creeping inside her head like a lurking shadow, the thought of what could have gone through his head, if she were to admit of said terrible thoughts she had, made Mitsuru’s very insides tighten in horror. suddenly, tea smelled like the worst thing and felt like poison. losing a companion in Tartarus, once and for all, was easier than what they’d have imagined, without the appropriate teamwork. death had walked side by side with them ever since she had given him his Evoker, and had fun peeking through their doors every once in a while. the terrible, oh-most dreadful thought of what he’d have done if her plan of self-destruction had come reality wouldn’t have made her sleep at night -- the worst thing was that his words almost made him well-aware of it. it felt almost violating her very soul.

she lowered her heavy head, letting her hair fall over her nose and cheeks. she finally let the cup distractedly go, back on the coffee table in front of them. fighting against the warmth piling up at the corners of her eyes, she wondered when he’d have finally grown up too much to still be able to read her thoughts like that.  

[dolgelo]

✘ What's a secret that you've never told anyone else before?

♕ ♕TEN  TIMES  THE  TRUTH||  7  remaining  ||  @peacefuldeath 

the brow furrowed, the arms tangled crossed right under her chest - as mind processed what to do or say as fast as she could. the last thing Mitsuru wanted for some perfect stranger eavesdropping on the conversation to know of a secret she had never revealed before – for often one of those could signify a man’s downfall. often they’d coincide with weak points the heiress did possess, which would remain private kinds of intel. concentrated, she came to remember or think of the first secret that came to mind; yet all that would seem eventually good did resurface from the sea of thoughts she was bathing in… and that would seem very inviting and promising to any listener. and enemy.

         «  Hmm. It is not an easy pick. I have all kinds of secrets I never mention, like any other girl my age, I imagine.  »

well – nothing regarding her past would have worked – those secrets were just too painful to recollect even that Mitsuru would have lost any kind of credibility as well, with those being public information. some were too dark, others too plain. nothing pertaining the Dark Hour would have done, either… she sighed, a hand rose to the temple to slowly massage it in small circles. no, not her love life – while basically nonexistent per se, would have been the idea secret. ah, heavens !  if something had never been revealed, she thought, there must have been a reason why !  something only she knew… only Mitsuru. 

once all was decided, she proceeded. proud, yet exposed. her deadpan tone took over the moment the redhead, looked away with a tint of embarrassment veiling her eyes, and spoke, calmly – as if telling a tale, and not revealing such a thing:

         «  I never wore any of it, I swear on all I possess. Not a single one. But cute pieces of lingerie... I like collecting those.  »

[dolgelo]

❝Mitsuru-senpai ... what do you think would've happened if I had, er ... ❞ Her fingers brush hesitantly against the scar across her throat. ❝I-if I had died that night, back in December? Would ... would it have made a difference to the team, do you think ... ?❞

♕ ♕TEN  TIMES  THE  TRUTH||  9  remaining  ||  @miskick   

bother filled the question, the doubt made its own way into both their mind - it was obvious by her tone, and by Mitsuru’s furrowed brows. she had thought, maybe way too simply, that the matter was all just water under the bridge already. yet, she didn’t fail to notice the small touch of Karin’s fingertips on the remains of the wounds, the now pale scars on the neck. but of course, a rather intrusive thought permeated her mind, leaving her gasping loudly for a moment: had the fear still to leave the other’s mind ?  fear would consume one’s soul, in the eventuality of having forever altered some other lives and stories; and unfortunately, Mitsuru did know it way too well.

but to suspect a thing like that would have been senseless. nothing could have consoled the others, Mitsuru included, from the tragedy of another loss – especially if that violent and uncalled for. she imagined the younger student’s doubts had to be quiet down sweetly, assuring Karin that her eventual absence would have, naturally, been missed, if not worse. as senpai, older student and representative of their conditions as dorm mates, the eventuality of her loss made her imagine the worst scenarios repeating, all over again – the burden of such a role in their hierarchy would have, then, crushed her. it had taken her time to move on from her Father’s death, she could not even think or imagine the same pain being relived– !

         «  Do not ever doubt it, please. Of course your absence would have made a difference here, and anywhere else too. Life isn’t just fighting Shadows, or summoning Personae… it took me some time to understand it– but fighting for what life is worth, that’s it… !  »

she stopped, before her tone would turn into something much too vehement and heated than what the Empress had tried to convey. speech of that kind always did make her feel that way -- Yukari might have been to blame for it. still, she offered the other a delicate smile, moving a bit to invite her to seat next to her, if Karin wanted.

         «  And I’m sure the others would agree with me. Everyone.  »  

[dolgelo]

"Come here. I’ll fix it."

♕ ♕SOFT  FAMILY  THINGS||  accepting  ||  @aragakisan  

dismissing the fact as a matter of not that great of importance would have been a true insult, yet Mitsuru always seemed to have had the tendency to dismiss even the most little obstacle as something not worthy of anyone else’s concern. a bad habit which had accompanied her for the longest time, and that would represent itself even when the frown of worry would fatigue to leave her face. it had been but an incident, dictated by her lack of attention - which would have usually meant she was to pay the consequences. she hadn’t expected the Hierophant there to witness in silence to the whole scene, nor to later offer his help to the evidently lost girl. for it was what she must have looked like: lost, slightly worried something had broken forever.

she never took it off, her precious locket; hidden usually under her blouses and jackets, ever tied around her slim white neck, Mitsuru would rarely ever lived without it now. she didn’t mind anymore the contact of the cold metal against her skin, but that time had been an exception - so different from ordinary routine. it had fallen from her hand, as she was approaching the lounge to clean it. she had cursed her lack of attention inside her head, and had powerlessly seen the golden object falling down a bunch of stairsteps, leading downwards, bump after bump. as her heart had skipped a beat, she had run down too, to find again the locket - open, the little oval door away from the junctures. it looked broken indeed. and the boy must have noticed it too. picking up the pieces had been almost humiliating for the girl, admitting defeat like so, and getting closer to the boy.

        «  Such a bad fall it took… are you sure you have the right instruments and tools for these small ju– ah, it just seemed to be slipping right through my fingers, I couldn’t catch it back without falling myself down the stairs…  »

ever since her last goodbye to her dearest Father, Mitsuru had tried finding new ways to keep his memory as alive and present than ever. back when she still lived there, she remembered, Mitsuru’d keep a photo of him by the bed, together with a bunch of other silly possessions or correspondences that did remind her of home. the locket was no exception, as it was an old piece of jewellery she had finally put into good use, sliding a picture of her Father, smiling, inside of it. she’d glanced at the photo during her saddest days, when she needed to remind herself of what the right path could lead her to – and she still did in fact. but now, the painful reminder had forced itself onto her heart like one big, unstoppable wave…

she handed Aragaki the pieces of the locket; as he examined them, she felt slightly embarrassed by it – she didn’t know if anyone had ever noticed her wearing such a thing under her clothes before… hesitating a bit, the redhead gave him a crooked little smile, as she apologized for the bother. 

         «  It’s fine, really. I could ask anyone to deal with it if you can’t, Aragaki.  »