#((some of my friends who were in archi with me make significantly less money than me rn and i didn't have to do unpaid

[roseband]

lmao...... hated the santos snl sketches but at least they said what i’ve been saying of who tf lies about going to cuny??? >.<

[hyuckbeam]

the ups and downs

all your life was spent earning recognition from others. hell, your past relationships ended badly because they couldn’t truly see you for yourself. knowing you’ll never be good enough is something you’ve grown so accustomed to, so why does it feel so nice when he tells you how proud he is of you?

pairing | archi student!renjun x archi student!reader

genre | fluff, angst, college au

warnings + notes | mentions of bad traumas/experiences, parent negligence, some bits of swearing, reader uses she/her pronouns, bff!chaewon, a lot of self-conflict, please lmk if i missed anything!

wc | 5.3k words

a/n | the first installation to the third time’s the charm (tttc) universe, yay! it took a little while to churn this one out because of school but i hope the wait wasn’t too long ;0; *punches school* as always,, likes, rbs, and feedback are appreciated <3 thank you!!

song recs | raise y_our glass - huh yunjin, hug - suggi, walk you home - nct dream

tttc m.list, main m.list

“mommy, look what i got!” your tiny feet carried you to where your mother was, a marked test paper in hand. “see, see? the pretty miss from school gave me an A on my exam!”

your teacher told you to study well because your parents would be really happy if you did your best on the upcoming exam. your younger self believed her and studied with the goal of making your parents proud. however, instead of any praises like your teacher had told you, all you heard was “later, dear. i’m busy. mommy is taking an important call and you’re being distracting.” in a whisper-yell manner that held not one ounce of warmth in it.

you were distracting. you were just a distraction in her life.

stunned was one way to describe how you felt. you were just a measly six-year-old kid at the time, but you could clearly tell your mother had no time for you, much less your father who was rarely home. they had no time to entertain you. they had no time to be proud of you. they needed to do grown-up things that didn’t involve you.

that was probably the first time you realized you were all alone. your parents would constantly be buried in work, and you didn’t have siblings to play with. you didn’t even have many (re: none) friends because you were always shy at school. none of the other kids wanted to approach you first either because their parents warded them off, saying how you came from a rich family and that you might punish them for doing the slightest bit of wrong — which was never the truth. you weren’t anything like that, but that’s how they assumed you to be. what was the point of being rich when your own parents didn’t even seem like family? deep down inside, all you wanted was to be appreciated for being yourself, but right now, you felt like a void had formed within you.

as you grew older, you still unconsciously wanted to gain recognition from others, even picking a course that you thought your parents would prefer. side note: they didn’t really care as much as you thought they would. you had also gained a few friends, but they were always at arm's length because your trust in others decreased significantly over the years.

how could anyone blame you though? you’ve had so many experiences where people came up to you wanting to be friends but actually wanted to get close to you for money. there were even some claiming they harbored romantic feelings for you, and yet, those were all lies to use you for their own gain. you were simply exhausted from being dragged around like a little doll people could put on up their display shelves.

you didn’t even see the point of making friends. you just did so because the school guidance counselor expressed her worries for you. a means to an end, you suppose. there was, however, an exception; that being kim chaewon.

she had introduced herself to you back when you were both classmates in middle school and practically attached you both at the hip since then — you didn’t mind though, in fact, you enjoyed it more than you’d ever like to admit. her company made you feel human. she was there when you first discovered your love for art, she was there to share lunches with at break time when you were all alone, she was there to wipe your tears when your emotions would burst after being bottled in for so long, she was there when no one else was, and you couldn’t be more thankful for her.

it was by chance your parents actually agreed for you to move into a dorm with her for college. you wondered if they would accept chaewon as your friend, but it seems that they already did – granted they allowed you to do this in the first place. they probably had to do a background check on her to make sure she wouldn’t ‘ruin their reputations’, but you’ll let their actions slide for now.

“y/n! you have your first class tomorrow, right?” chaewon pops up from your shoulder as you work on fixing your class schedule by the counter near the kitchen, catching you a little off guard.

“hm- oh, yeah. you’re starting later in the day, aren’t you? sucks to be you.” you tease lightly, watching as your friend’s face contorts to a frown.

“god, don’t remind me. why did they have to make ours a day ahead?” listening to her groans, you can’t help but chuckle to yourself. “we’ll all be starting the new semester eventually anyways!”

“yeah, yeah. still wished i had more minutes of freedom though.” her shoulders slump for a moment. “at least the first days are exciting. it’s nice being able to meet new classmates.”

chaewon was always known for being a social butterfly, but you were in no way similar. “speak for yourself! i already feel jittery from the fact we don’t share any classes at all.” you feign a shiver, pursing your lips into a thin line.

“you’ll be fine. you’re my best friend after all!” with a pat on the back, chaewon makes sure to flash you a reassuring smile knowing it helps your nerves calm down.

“yeah, i know i will be. i’m just worried for… you know… being outcasted by others again.” you bring up, voice getting quieter after every word. this instinctively prompts your best friend to reach out for a hug. “that won’t happen, hm? tell me if it does, i’ll absolutely ditch class for-”

“what, no! go attend class, silly.” a giggle manages to escape your throat, and chaewon smiles at being able to successfully lift your mood up. “can’t believe you’re getting rid of me already!!” she whines with a pout before bursting into a fit of laughter.

notebooks? check. pencils and pens? check. phone? also check- “hey, y/n! are you almost ready? we’re walking to campus together, right?” chaewon beams as she barges into your room bright and early in the morning.

with a yawn, you blink off your drowsiness, stuffing your back with your stationery. “yeah, let me just pack my bag and we can go, okay?”

“alright! i also made you some breakfast you can eat while we walk.” she reminds you before stepping out to fix her own things one last time.

despite being reassured by chaewon yesterday, you can’t help but notice that unsettling feeling crawl the back of your neck. you were still worried about class, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it now. you had a class to get to on time and you were going to be late if you stayed home any longer. walking out of your room to the kitchen, you grab the breakfast your friend had made in advance. “okay, chae! let’s get going. i don’t want to be late!”

you sling your bag over your shoulder, chaewon mirroring your actions as you both quickly head out of your shared dorm. checking your phone for the time, you realize you have around ten minutes before classes start for the both of you. “chae… we need to go- like now, now!!” you urge her to pick up the pace and start running – mentally thanking the fact your dorm is located near campus.

“we really need to work on our time management, huh?” she replies, words coming out breathlessly from the both of you running against the clock (literally and figuratively).

“no kidding, i’ll see you after class, okay?” you pant out, just as tired as she is. “yep! good luck, you got this!” chaewon hastily makes two thumbs-ups before leaving to catch her own class. now you just had to run to your building and- ouch! why does your head suddenly hurt?

rubbing your forehead to ease the impact, you look up to find a boy, who seems to be just as frazzled as you, staring down at your figure. “sorry, i wasn’t looking where i was going.” he apologizes sheepishly, offering a hand out for you to pick yourself back up with. “it’s okay i wasn’t paying attention either-” you finally get a good look at him. jet black hair, kind eyes that sparkle in the sun, a slight flush in his face (presumably from this entire mishap with you), and the prettiest lips that make you want to kiss- no, what were you doing? you just met him, and worse… “I’M GOING TO BE LATE!” you exclaim abruptly once gathering your thoughts. it seems you’ve even shocked him as he flinches a little. you quickly apologize, gathering your things as fast as you can before scurrying off, leaving without him being able to utter a single word back.

finally settling down in the front row of the class, your mind couldn’t help but wander back to the boy you bumped into earlier while waiting for the professor to arrive. you weren’t late, but god, that was seriously embarrassing… maybe you should’ve paid more attention to your surroundings.

or rather, you should start applying that insight right now because why is the same boy in your class asking if the seat next to you is already taken or not? maybe you’re just hallucinating and it’s a different guy- “excuse me? i hope you aren’t still shocked from earlier.”

nope, he was definitely the same guy from a while ago.

“sorry, i just… wasn’t expecting you to be in the same class. the seat is free by the way.” you finally answer back in a swift, yet awkward motion before taking out a small notebook from your bag to pretend like you’re busy. it seems like he takes your reply as a green light, placing his bag beside yours and taking his seat.

the silence continues on for the rest of the class, ultimately making you want to curl up in a hole and hide forever. at this point, you’re even considering dropping the class and taking it next semester to avoid experiencing this again. to your luck, you manage to finish the class without combusting on the outside, already preparing your things to leave, but the sweet tone of his voice makes you halt for a moment.

“sorry, i know we got on the wrong foot, but i’d really like to get to know you more.” he confesses with a calm smile. though the sight would make anyone melt for his charms, at this moment, he was the epitome of what you were afraid of. what if he wants to be friends to manipulate you? what if he wants to use you for money like all the others? so many thoughts started to go through your mind, it was starting to get overwhelming. it seems he senses this too, taking a small step back to give you some space.

“i understand if you don’t want to be friends, but how about i just get you coffee sometime for bumping into you as an apology? it can be a one-time thing.” he proposes, holding onto high hopes. taking a deep breath, you nod along in agreement despite your worries. it’s not like you wanted to assume his reasons for approaching you – you just couldn’t help doing so. either way, you knew judging the poor boy on the spot (or anyone for that matter) wasn’t that great, so you did what anyone else would.

“okay. when are you taking me out for coffee then?”

his eyes light up from your verbal agreement. “i think you should know my name first.” he starts with a chuckle. “it’s renjun- don’t forget it, alright? as for the details of grabbing coffee together…”

you were a little surprised renjun had arranged the set coffee meet-up to be just a few days later. perhaps he really was that eager to make it up to you, even when you were partially to blame for what happened back then. he didn’t seem to mind at all though – going as far as to remind you every now and then that he was going to treat you to coffee.

both of you were to meet at the campus coffee shop, and you were preparing your bag for the short trip with plans to study while talking to renjun (and using the fact you’re studying as an excuse if the situation starts getting difficult for you). “oooh, it’s just the first week since classes resumed and you’re already being asked out on a date?” chaewon singsongs from the living room.

“pfft, it’s nothing like that. he just says he owes me or something… i don’t really understand his reasoning considering we both bumped into each other.”

“you should just take the opportunity, my baby y/n.” your best friend coos. “who knows, maybe you’ll both have more in common with each other aside from, erm, being clumsy… then you’ll start developing feelings for the boy-”

“alright, i think you’re getting ahead of yourself now.” tutting back lightly, you wiggle your finger in the air before grabbing your keys and taking a step outside your dorm. “i’ll be back before dinner! don’t wait up if you get too hungry before then.” you add before closing the door behind you.

it takes a few minutes from your dorm to the coffee shop, but you manage to arrive on time, even spotting renjun occupying one of the tables next to the windows, seeming to be working on his laptop. “someone’s early.” you point out with a soft voice once approaching his table, offering him a brief wave right after. “hope i didn’t keep you waiting?”

renjun shakes his head, gesturing for you to take the seat in front of him. “like you said, i came pretty early, but i’m quite used to staying here during my free time. my friend actually works part-time here and drags me along with him.” he explains, nudging his head over towards the counter where you see a familiar face, lee jeno. chaewon had introduced you guys to each other before so you aren’t exactly strangers.

“oh, you’re friends with him?” you gasp a little, finding the world to be quite smaller than you thought. the two of you easily slip into a conversation because of this, and the plans you made earlier to study and avoid conversation as much as possible had now been thrown out the window.

you got to learn much about renjun despite only having a proper conversation today. he’s apparently in the same course as you (which explains why the both of you will be sharing more classes together), he often goes to his cousin’s dorm to play with their cat, and loves hotpot more than anything, even claiming he’s a connoisseur of that field – his words, not yours. you can’t help but find the little things about him endearing, and for once, you’ve let your guard down entirely in front of a person you had only met a few days prior. maybe it's the fact he’s so easy to talk to, maybe it's the glint in his eyes that shows his interest in what you have to share about yourself, or maybe it's the way he laughs at your jokes despite you thinking they weren’t that funny to get that big of a reaction out of him. time had passed by quickly with him as your company, however, you don’t seem to register that until he brings the time up.

“it’s getting a little late. come on, i’ll walk you back to your dorm.” he insists after checking his watch, now packing his things and getting ready to leave. though you didn’t want to bother him, there didn’t seem to be any room for you to protest otherwise, so instead, you let him accompany you home.

this is the first time someone has actually offered to walk you home. not even the people you had a relationship with (if you can even call it that) in the past ever proposed to do that for you. you’d be lying if renjun’s actions didn't send a fluttery feeling to your stomach like how those teen-vogue magazines would describe the feeling to be like. you remember it stating that specific sensation was what you’d feel once you start developing feelings-

oh, perhaps chaewon was right earlier. you might just fall for huang renjun.

you and renjun have gotten a lot closer ever since he took you out for coffee — hell, he’s even well acquainted with chaewon now — and he’s been plaguing your mind more than ever. though, you’re more conflicted than anything.

a part of you wants to let yourself fall for him. i mean, who wouldn’t want to be with a guy like renjun? sure, he may have some anger issues (your experiences watching him and jeno banter by the counter of the coffee shop can vouch for this), but he’s also the sweetest guy you’ve ever got to meet.

just as you’re about to consider accepting your feelings for the boy, there’s the other part of you that wants to keep yourself guarded. you know he’s different from the people you’ve met in the past, so why do you still get the suspicion he’s simply using you for his personal gain? mayhaps, you’re just sinking in your thoughts a little too much, but you can’t seem to shake it off your system.

it’s frustrating. you shouldn’t be thinking this way about a friend of yours. how would renjun feel if he knew you had pondered on the idea of him being a backstabber? surely, he would be offended by that, so you brush those invasive thoughts away. after all, you were to meet him in a little bit for your regular study sessions for the upcoming final exams.

exams always left a bitter taste in your mouth, recalling how it was for you growing up. studying with renjun made exam season just a tiny bit more bearable after he suggested you both should study together so you could help each other out. he’s always had your best interests in mind, another reason why you had come to like him so much- gosh, your thoughts were such a mess today that you wanted to scream out a window.

with a heavy heart, you start making your way to the ever-so-familiar campus coffee shop. as soon as you enter, you spot renjun, eyes already landing on your figure like he had been searching for you moments prior. had he been anticipating your arrival that eagerly? the worrisome thoughts you’ve been harboring have simply washed away as your heart felt like it was running a marathon by how fast it was beating. all you could think about was the blush you felt creeping up your cheeks once you noticed he was staring- staring at you.

“you’re finally here! i got your favorite matcha latte, it’s still pretty cold.” he quickly announces with a smile that’s never failed to make you feel better.

“thanks! i really owe you one, you know?” you chuckle at your own words, walking over to take the seat next to his. while you begin setting down your things on the table, your fingers accidentally brush against his, and yet, neither of you seems to want to pull away from the other. he links his pinky with yours instead, confirming your assumption even more.

was this normal for the two of you? not one bit.

did you wish it was? a million times, yes.

maybe you needed to get your head straight and actually start studying for your exams.

the last week of exams was certainly hell. you’ve never felt this drained in so long — the last time you could recall would probably be back in junior high. though, this time seems to be much worse since you couldn’t understand the number of times your mind went blank during the tests. was your scatterbrain due to the thought of your study “dates” with renjun? you’d like to blame it on those, yes.

results would be posted any hour now for your batch, and that kept your nerves high to quite an extent over the weekend. so much for finally getting to relax, huh? either way, you were glad that all of your finals have finally ended, but now you had to wait a few more days for chaewon to finish hers. she was still pretty swamped with requirements the last time you saw her at your dorm. there is, however, someone you know who just finished his exams in the previous week: renjun. you guys did have the same classes after all. maybe the day you would finally buy him a cup of coffee and make the playing field even between you two has finally arrived.

dialing his phone, you quickly called him up to meet at your regular spot and set out yourself. it’s a good thing you made it to the coffee shop before him this time (you still remember the last time he was earlier and that sent your brain haywire). you see jeno today as well in his spot behind the counter, making sure to greet him as you order drinks for yourself and renjun.

“oh? you’re buying him coffee this time?” jeno questions with an amused look, almost like he’s watching a k-drama he’s so invested in. “thought i’d repay him for all the free drinks i got.” you answer with a simple chuckle.

“he’s definitely going to enjoy this.” the barista adds in a cheeky mutter before preparing the drinks.

it doesn’t take long for renjun to arrive despite your short notice, entering the coffee shop 10 minutes after you did. renjun quickly noticed the mocha frappuccino you ordered for him in advance and was about to speak against it until you rebutted with the fact it had already been made and paid for. it’s a good thing jeno prepares coffee fast, or else you might’ve had a conversation about who’s paying for who’s drinks.

“i really don’t mind paying for your drinks in the first place!” renjun replies before spinning his drink with a pout.

“i sure as hell don’t mind paying for yours either! won’t you just consider this as me making it even with you-” the ping of both renjun’s and your phone has you pausing mid-sentence so abruptly, pulling your device out to see the notification that your grades have been released.

“you’re kidding, right when i was going to enjoy my drink?” you grumble lightly before taking a deep breath. you weren’t usually so scared for your test results, but after your mind went elsewhere during exam season, you couldn’t help but feel a tinge of anxiety.

a hand rests gently atop your shoulder, making you peer your gaze towards renjun. “you’ll do fine. we prepared for the exams for a pretty long time, so i know your efforts will turn out to be fruitful.”

his reassurance was all you needed to muster the confidence to check your scores. biting your bottom lip, you open the email with your scores listed down, scrolling through it slowly as you read the contents. your eyes soon land on your grade and it’s actually higher than you thought it would be – it felt like a miracle was bestowed upon you and you couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. “renjun i did it!” you exclaim, raising your hands in the air.

“see, what did i tell you? i’m so proud of you!” his words make your heart swell with so much joy. he just said he was proud of you. he’s genuinely thrilled about your accomplishment. his sentiments make you think you could cry right about now.

you’re too caught up in his sincerity, not realizing the two of you are inches apart. one small movement from either of you would be all it took for your lips to be smashed on his.

what if you wanted to make that move? what if you wanted to kiss him? what if… he doesn’t want that?

the same thoughts are probably running through his head as neither of you take initiative, silently staring at each other like your eyes hold everything you’ve been meaning to tell him. it appears as if he realized you weren’t ready for any advances, now taking a step back and clearing his throat – failing to hide the blush that rose to the tip of his ears.

how cute. that familiar feeling of butterflies had erupted once more, however, there was now another emotion that lingered – fear. and that’s when it hit you; you were scared.

what were you even scared of exactly? to be honest, you didn’t even understand yourself enough to give a straight answer.

maybe it was the fact that your relationship had never really been unstable at any point. the fact that it was going so well with him was what made you scared. what if everything would easily come crashing down and you’d never be able to talk to him again? you didn’t want to mess that up, no way. because of that notion, it felt like you were walking on thin ice, wanting to do all you could to keep up the good relationship you had with the boy.

you treasured him more than you’d like to admit.

there were also those negative thoughts you stored in the back of your mind, now resurfacing as you begin delving into them once more. most of those who tried to acquaint themselves with you ended up having a hidden agenda up their sleeve. you’d learn to shut those people off once having the impression they were up to no good, but you couldn't do that to renjun, not when you liked him so much.

it seems as though you had been sharing your thoughts aloud without noticing, with renjun being right next to you. shit, you messed up big time. not only did you confess you harbored feelings for him, but you voiced out your suspicions too. now he’s going to think you’re some kind of crazy-

“do i need an ulterior motive to love you?” renjun perks up from your claim, albeit a little shocked you’d assume that of him. your train of thought comes to a freeze, hearing him confront you about your concerns. wait, wait- let’s backtrack a little. did he just confess to liking, or rather loving, you too?

truthfully, that one sentence was all it took to leave you in a daze. you struggle for a moment to clear your mind, nodding your head as you anxiously reply. “most people have one when they do.” what were you even saying at this point? you didn’t really comprehend your own words either.

he takes a step forward. then one more, and another until he’s standing in front of you. his hand cups your cheek gently, radiating warmth — something you’ve grown to long for every time you weren’t in his presence. using his thumb to lightly swipe your bottom lip, he gets you to stop unconsciously nibbling on it from anxiety. “well, i’m not like most people. i’m in love with you, because it’s you.”

“because it’s me?” you mimic his words in a shaky sigh, “renjun, i don’t think you should be taking this on such a shallow level- i’m sure you… probably don’t like me that much. what’s there to like aside from my rich parents' money?”

“you’re kidding, right? why wouldn’t i like you when i’ve come to cherish every second we’re together because you always make my day brighter without even trying. even as we’re fighting right now, there’s still a part of me that’s happy because i can see you in front of me. this isn’t about money at all!”

“everyone values money one way or another, renjun! this isn’t just about the type of person i see you as.” you sputter out. you were still scared, scared to fall for someone who might actually like you, for you. his genuine love was unknown territory, and you didn’t know the first step on how to go about it.

“i won’t lie, money is valuable, but it’s not everything in life. there really are some things that money can’t buy.” he utters out slowly, wanting you to understand every word he speaks. “it certainly can’t buy you, no?”

you were left speechless because all renjun said was right. he knew the limits money had and understood that. money wasn’t everything, and it’ll never be able to buy someone’s true feelings. that was something you really needed to hear all your life. maybe you’d be less afraid to let people crash your walls down if you had come to terms with that earlier. maybe loving him would have been easier all this time.

“i- i’m sorry.” your words come out in a stutter, trying to hold yourself back from sobbing into his arms. “i’m sorry for thinking you were someone you weren’t. i just-”

“you don’t have to be sorry for anything. you had every right to question my intentions, okay? but from now on,” he starts, bringing his hands up to your already burning cheeks. “i’ll take care of you. i’ll make sure you know just how much you’re appreciated, not just by me, but by everyone around you too. i’ll make sure you know you’re loved.” his words flow out soothingly like a calm river, contrasting the harsh waves you had to deal with all your life.

“i’ll keep loving you for as long as you let me.” truly, at this moment, you know he feels like home, your home.

overwhelmed by emotion, you reach out for his embrace, and he extends his arms out wide as if it was first instinct. his arms that wrap around you radiate a comforting warmth, the hoodie he’s wearing smells a bit like his favorite mocha frappuccino, and his entire being has turned into something you were familiar to – you think you never want to go back to a life without him, and you don’t have to because he’s right here and he loves you.

looking up to get a glance at renjun, you see him being unable to contain his smile with the corners of his lips pulling up unconsciously. god, did you want to kiss his pretty lips. it all feels like dejavu – you were in the same predicament back then when you first met him except this time, you think you finally have the guts to act upon your thoughts.

just as you were about to lean in, you’re caught rather off guard by renjun beating you to it. you both always seem to have the same thoughts in mind as if you both understood each other without anything needing to be said. his lips slot perfectly against yours, and the tingly feeling has your stomach doing somersaults. eventually, you need to pull away for air, noticing how he was still chasing after your lips – yearning to lengthen the kiss.

“i was going to kiss you first, you know?” you bring up with flushed cheeks, reaching out to hug his chest because you were too shy to lock gazes.

renjun laughs softly at your confession, raising a hand to card his fingers through your hair. “i had a feeling you’d do that, so i went for it instead.”

“you really surprised me! i gathered up my courage and everything!” giggling at your own words, you finally felt complete.

as it turns out, those teen magazines weren’t phony at all. you just hadn’t met the right person back then, but that changed after you met renjun. emotions resemble a rollercoaster with all its ups and downs, however, you think you’ll continue the ride for as long as he’s with you.

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[seanbonner]

New Blog Post: Personal Uniform Update 2019

I’ve been writing about personal uniforms for a long time now [2015, 2010] and adhering to them for even longer.  While the major themes have remained the same over the years some of the specifics have gotten more specific and as I’m often asked for recommendations I find it useful to take stock once and a while so I have something for people to reference. The last time I did this I was living in Los Angeles, and traveling 100k+ miles a year, today I’m living in Tokyo and still traveling 100k+ miles a year. Tokyo gets colder than Los Angeles and has snow, but it also gets more humid. I previously tried to have things that worked in all weather, but I’m now more a fan of fabrics and cuts that are optimized for seasons.

Generally I still stick to all black or dark grey and avoid anything with logos or visible branding of any kind.

The specifics:

T-Shirt

Basic. 100% Cotton. I’m still a fan of American Apparel’s Fine Jersey which I find to be the perfect cut, thickness and softness. These were the only things I wore for years and I’d buy them a dozen at a time every 12-18 months though honestly they hold up much longer than that and at less than $10 on Amazon it’s effortless. This is my goto shirt for training at the dojo because I know it’s strong enough to hold up under abuse and I’m not worried about ruining them. Cotton rules for structure, but it’s less optimal for most other things.

Hot weather: 100% Bamboo. The best ones I’ve found are made by Onno and are almost 3x the cost of the AA Cotton shirts at about $30. Bamboo is the perfect material for t-shirts, it wicks moisture away from you and is soft and anti-bacterial.

Humid: 100% Ramie. A recent find for me, Ramie is a really interesting natural fiber and in Tokyo’s super humid summers this has become my goto option. Outlier’s Ramielust shirt is the best shirt for hot and humid weather. It’s $125, but it takes one day if walking around in 90% humidity to understand why. I found some cheaper Ramie blend shirts on amazon but they don’t feel the same. As a fabric it’s a bit stiffer than Cotton or Bamboo, but it’s also light and airy like nothing else.

Cool: 100% Wool. This is going to be my most controversial recommendation ever but Outlier’s Gostwyck Single Origin Wool is really interesting. Wool is an amazing fabric, but it’s almost always ethically bad news, so a company working with a single farm with the specific intention of creating ethically produced wool is something I thought was worth supporting and looking further into. I know some people love wool and if they are going to buy it I’d prefer they put the money towards a more sustainable and ethical option like this. These shirts are also $125, but they might be the nicest shirts you’ve ever touched. A secret some people don’t know is that Wool shirts can be worn for several days in a row before they need washing, so you need fewer of them  for a wardrobe and end up doing wash less often, so they have other environmental benefits to weigh out.

Pants

Slacks. I find the materials that Outlier are using for their Slim Dungarees and Futureworks pants to be fantastic, versatile, lightweight and durable. I was initially hesitant to buy $200 pants, but I now have 3 pairs and easily wear them 300 days out of the year. Their shorts are equally fantastic.

Jeans. I have an ongoing love/hate with denim that I continue to be unable to resolve. There was a point in the late 2000’s when I realized that not only did I not own a pair of jeans, I hadn’t owned a pair in over a decade, as I’d been wearing almost exclusively Dickies for most of that time. At the same time I had friends working with and lusting over “high end” denim and I wanted to understand it. I’ve since owned and worn many varieties of denim and from high end Japanese brands like Iron Heart & Sugar Cane. They’ve been great in some ways, and horrible in other ways and spending hundreds of dollars on pants that you know the crotch and pockets are going to blow out in, and require additional cost to keep repairing just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me these days. And while there are some minor details here and there, I don’t find them to justify the 5x or 10x cost over something like Shrink To Fit Levi’s 501s or something similar. In the end, I’m going to skip a recommendation on this one and just say individual preference is going to win out.

Socks

Darn Tough. Seriously, regardless of what style you like Darn Tough socks will be the best you can get. In addition to being super comfortable and rock solid, they have a life time guarantee so if you somehow find a way to wear a hole in them they will replace them free of charge. Forever. I don’t know how they do it, but they do and do it well.

Underwear

Update: I used to religiously recommend ExOfficio Boxer Briefs for many reasons but no longer do, a few years ago the company changed manufacturing practices and both their fabric and build quality went downhill significantly, when I first found them they were upwards of $30 each but now seem to be sub $20 and I’m quite sure they are making more money on each one due to the corners they cut. Avoid.

Warmer weather: Bamboo. $30 for a 4 pack of David Archy bamboo boxer briefs seemed too good to be true, but turns out it to be legit. Endorsed.

Cooler weather: Wool. Specifically Smartwool who are also publicly committed to ethical and sustainable wool production. They also have a lifetime guarantee which given their $45 price tag, being able to return them once they get worn out for new ones is a bonus.

Shoes and Jackets are much more personal and I can’t imagine recommendations here being worth anything. So look for the styles and cuts that you like and run with them I guess. Though I will say a good hoodie and a good windbreaker are an awesome combo.

via seanbonnerdotcom http://bit.ly/2N3zjfO

[juqqie-blog]

Not Wrong Just Different

Request:  “Hello! 💜 could you possibly do a jughead x Reader where he comforts his girlfriend when she feels insecure about being asexual? Maybe the others are talking about their own relationships and what they do, and she gets worried jug will get mad or leave bc shes ace? Thank you 💜 I've been feeling a bit uncomfortable being ace myself lately :/ 💜💜”  - anon Pairing: Jughead / Reader Word Count: 2,942 Warnings: some sex talk, and a lot of crying (sorry, i’m a cancer and i projected)

You sat in a booth at Pop’s with your friends, having significantly less fun than usual. The night was meant to be a sort of triple date. Archie and Betty, Veronica and Reggie, and you and Jughead. It had been going well until Reggie left. That’s when Veronica started to talk about how great he was in bed.

“He’s a bit of a ditz, but what he lacks upstairs he makes up for downstairs.” She said coyly. And you laughed, you had a sense of humor and it’s not that you minded a little sex talk. But then it just continued. “What about your Archie?” Veronica winked at Betty who seemed startled. “Are all jocks the same?”

“Oh.” Betty said, a little hesitantly, scanning Archies face. “Well, lets just say music isn’t his only talent.” She joked with a wide smile. Archies eyebrows went up but he didn’t look mad. You tried to smile at this, but no one except Jughead noticed when you didn’t laugh. You bit your lip and pushed around the fries on your plate.

“Well, for being the good girl next door, you sure do some things that are pretty bad.” Archie said, wrapping his arm around Betty tighter, who giggled. And uhg, really? They were just gonna, say this? In public and everything? You rolled your eyes and gazed out the window, trying to ignore the nervousness in your stomach. Jugheads arm creeped up the back of the booth around you. He brought his hand in to rub your shoulder and gave you an, ‘are you okay’ look. You rolled your eyes and shrugged. Veronica was busy ranting in a low voice about what you girls should make your boys do, which distracted everyone for a minute.

“Hey.” Jughead leaned in to you, speaking in a quiet voice. “Do you wanna get out of here?” He asked, despite just being delivered a second round of food. You shook your head at him and smiled.

“No, I’m fine.” You only half lied. “They’ll move on, plus I haven’t even had a milkshake yet.” You tried to joke. Jughead gave a reassuring smile.

“Okay, just so you’re okay.” He said, slowly returning to his burger. And you did really believe that they would move on. They had in the past, but the longer this conversation drew on the more worried you got. You tried to look like you were listening though, laughing along and nodding, trying not to raise suspicion or worse, become a target of a question.

After ten minutes had passed you sort of gave up and were staring at the table while Africa by Toto played in your head. You just stared at the weird pattern while Joseph Williams crooned about rain. Whatever Archie was saying about Betty's hands was drowned out, and you just couldn’t fake interested anymore. In fact it was getting to you. It wasn’t fun and you couldn’t pretend like it was. You looked up at Jughead, about to give him the, ‘let's blow this joint’ signal. But then the waitress came by again. Everyone toned it down as she asked if anyone would like anything else. You all nodded and placed your orders for milkshakes. Jughead got one for you to split, which sweetened the deal of staying in the booth for a little longer. Once the waitress left the conversation stayed relatively PG. You were actually able to partake in the debate of whether strawberry, chocolate or vanilla shakes were best. Maybe this would work out.

“What about, banana?” Asked Veronica, laughing a little. And your hopes were shattered right out of the gate. You rolled your eyes and let out a sigh as the conversation turned back to sex. Maybe you should have made that milkshake to go. It’s not that you didn’t love Jughead, but, you just didn’t think you needed to do those things to prove you loved him. He never complained, and you’d both talked it through and he seemed fine. You still cuddled and kissed him, just, never really anything more. Sure you’d had your own personal qualms with it, but it never really seemed like a big problem until now. Jughead wasn’t really participating in the conversation that much either, but, would he want to be?

Everyone grew quiet when the waitress returned and handed everyone their shakes. You all thanked her and she gave a smile as she walked away. You couldn’t help but sigh in relief as everyone stopped talking for a minute and sipped their shakes. You were hoping the conversation would finally move in a different direction. One that you were interested in and didn’t have to beat yourself up over.

“What about you, (y/n). You’ve been pretty silent this whole time.” Betty broke the silence. “Got any good stories about Jughead?” She asked.

“Uh..” You said, shaking your head a little and trying to think of what to say.

“Yeah.” Archie chimed in. “Does he give good Jug-head?” He asked, and everyone roared with laughter. You had to smile at that but it didn’t make the nervousness go away. You tried to laugh it off and hoped they would understand.

“I mean, I just kinda don’t feel like talking about it.” You shrugged, moving the straw in your shake around.

“Oh.” Veronica cooed. “I’m sure you could spare just one detail about your escapades.” She gave a look and took a drink of her milkshake. It was quiet for a minute and you felt a blush rise on your cheeks as you tried to come up with something. The pressure was choking you.

“Hey guys, can we uh, just talk about something else?” Jughead asked, saving you. “It’s been like 20 minutes, and I’m still trying to eat and everything.” He gestured to his burger and glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. You gave a quick smile and tapped his thigh in thanks.

“Oh come on.” Said Veronica. “And that’s like you’re fifth burger Juggie.” She rolled her eyes.

“Third.” Mumbled Jughead, defensively.

“Whatever.” Betty chimed in, rolling her eyes. “V and I gave some stories, we embarrassed Archie, now it’s your guys turn to fess up. Tell us something.” Betty teased. You and Jughead looked at each other with widening eyes. Neither of you had anything to say. Literally, you’d never done anything, so you had nothing to say. You couldn’t even think of anything to make up.

“They probably do some real kinky stuff.” Veronica broke the silence and your eyes shot to her. She smiled at you playfully, like she didn’t understand the hell you were going through right now. And to be honest you know she didn’t. “It’s okay, I’ll tell you what Reggie lets me do with my fingers if you tell us something.” She wiggled her fingers in the air a little and you looked away.

“Uh.” Jughead vocalized, looking desperately at you but you were looking down at your hands. “Well, we uh. We don’t really do much to be honest. I just, kinda don’t want to talk about it.” He tried to deflect the question and wrapped his arm around you a little more. You felt awful that you and Jughead had no stories to offer.

“What?” Archie chimed in. “Come on guys, just give us something. I mean, you’ve been dating for how long? You have to have at least one interesting story.” Betty and Veronica agreed. All three of them talked over each other a little to prove the point.

“We don’t. We just don’t have any stories.” You said weakly. They all looked at you with various shocked and frustrated expressions.

“Are you? Saying you guys have never fucked?” Archie asked. He sounded like an ass but you knew he didn’t mean it like that. None of them had any idea.

“Knock it off.” Jughead said, glaring at Archie.

“Look, Jug, we’re just curious. We’ve all said something but you guys-” Veronica started but was cut off.

“I just, never get horny and neither does she?” Jughead interrupted, maybe a little too loud. He sighed and in a softer voice added. “You have no idea how much depression fucks up your labito. And with her, I don’t know if it’s depression, and honestly I don’t care. If she doesn’t want to do anything then neither do I, and that’s just fine.” He said, looking at you and rubbing your shoulder. You tried to look at him, but your vision was blurry with the threat of tears.

“Jughead, it’s fine.” You said, voice breaking a little.

“No, I mean, we can-” He offered but you cut him off.

“I said it’s fine.” You pushed past him and out of the booth. You rubbed your eyes as you walked out the door and into the night. You walked past Jugheads car to the end of the parking lot. You stopped when you were standing in grass. There you were far enough out so that you could still see them but you knew they couldn’t see you. You turned and looked over your shoulder into the window where your previous booth was.

Betty and Veronica looked apologetic, both making hand gestures and talking over each other. Archie sat silent, eyes a little wide and slouched back in the booth. Your vision grew misty with tears so it was hard to make out details. You could tell by Jugheads actions as he stood up that he was angry. Then he looked calmer and just shook his head. You could see Veronica and Betty stop talking. Jughead said something as he got out his wallet. He tossed some money on the table and started walking out. You turned back around, facing the road and watching a car go by that muffled the sound of the door opening to Pop’s. Tears were streaming down your face faster than you could wipe them away. You huffed and rubbed your eyes, mourning what little makeup you had on.

“(Y/n).” Jughead called from across the parking lot. You stood still, trying to hold back more tears. “Hey. They said they were really sorry.” He said as he slowly came up to you. You heard his feet scrape on the ground as he inched closer until he was just behind you. “They had no idea, I told them it wasn’t their fault. They said they’d avoid the topic in the future.” He finally shuffled up next to you and gently placed a hand on your shoulder. “They feel awful.” Jughead said softly. You turned to him, tears spilling out of your eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You sobbed. He pulled you into a hug and held you tight. He held you as you shook. He was steady and just slowly rubbed a hand across your back.

“No, I’m sorry.” Jughead spoke under his breath. “I’m sorry for what happened in there, I shouldn’t have let them get that far. And I’m sorry you feel like this. I wish I could help…” He faded off and kissed the top of your head. You let out a shaky sigh as you felt the tears start to slow down.

“You are helping.” You said, leaning back a little to look at him. You could almost see his heart breaking in his eyes as he looked over you. He brought his hands up to your face and dried your cheeks with his sleeves. Then he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you are, (y/n).” Jughead whispered. You felt tears well up again and he pulled you back into a hug as they spilled over your cheeks.

You leaned against him for a few minutes as you let it out. Jughead held you and patted your back as you sobbed against his chest. Why were you like this. You cried until you caught your breath and then you stood still. When you pulled back you saw how tearstained Jugheads shirt was. You looked up at him to apologize but he just shook his head in a ‘don’t worry about it’ kind of way.

“C’mon.” He rubbed your shoulders and started to turn a little. “Let’s just sit in my car and talk, okay?” You nodded and let him guide you across the parking lot to his car. Jughead opened the door to the passenger's seat and let you climb in. He closed it behind you and walked to his own door. You sat there in silence, and the minute it took him to join you in the car felt like an hour. Your eyes were still wet and your cheeks felt hot. You were embarrassed. About a lot of things. Not being able to participate in the conversation, running out crying, not being able to give Jughead those experiences. Your thoughts were cut off by Jughead entering the car and closing the door after himself. He was quiet for a minute as he moved around a little, getting comfortable, but not really.

“So, you want to talk about this?” Jughead asked, looking at you. You could feel his green eyes on you but you couldn’t bring yourself to look up at him. You slowly nodded your head yes and chewed at your lip. You knew you had to talk but you just couldn’t say anything right now. Jughead was silent, giving you time to work up what you had to say. You wish you could have stopped the tear that rolled down your cheek. But you just sighed at it. Jughead placed a hand on your cheek, wiping the tear away with his thumb. His hand was warm and familiar and despite this horrible feeling you were more at ease.

“I’m sorry you have to put up with me.” You finally said, looking at him. You nestled your face into Jugheads hand and closed your eyes.

“Hey.” Jughead cooed. You opened your eyes to watch him speak. “I never have to put up with you. You not wanting to do stuff doesn’t bother me.” You knew he was trying to be honest but you couldn’t help all the doubt you had.

“I-I just, I’m afraid I can’t give you what you want.” You spoke under your breath. Jughead gave you a sad look and ran his thumb across your cheekbone.

“And what do you think I want?” He asked, his voice was sympathetic. You shook your head and took in a breath.

“What they were talking about in there. What they want. What every single teenage boy I’ve ever met wants.” You sighed. Jughead had never pushed you, you never had any reason to believe that’s all he wanted. But still…

“That’s not what I want, (y/n). I want you.” Jughead said, letting his hand slide from your cheek under your chin to bring your face up. You looked into his eyes and found nothing but sincerity. “I want to be with you and make you happy. I don’t care about sex. Hell, I’m probably somewhere in the ace spectrum myself. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is just that you’re happy and comfortable.” He pulled his hand away from your face and adjusted himself so he was fully facing you.

“You make me comfortable, Jughead.” You moved to mirror him. “I just, I get so worried. I’m worried I frustrate you. Or that one day you’ll want to do something I just can’t do.” You shook your head. Jughead bit his lip and looked down for a second but quickly back up to you.

“I’ll be honest. You have no idea how relieved I was that you didn’t complain about me not making a move after we’d been dating for a whole month. And I was even more relieved that you never made a move.” He smiled and you could tell he was telling the truth. “I’ve just, gone out with girls who’ve ran their hands up my thighs after the first date. And there’s nothing wrong with that at all it’s just, not for me.” He shrugged. “I never want to do stuff like that. And I don’t think I ever will. I like that we just hold hands and fall asleep on the couch. I like that there’s no pressure with you. I like that we can put on sweatpants and watch Titanic and when that one part comes on we can go get more snacks and not sit there and be expected to do something. I love all of those things, okay, and I love you. I love what we have, (y/n).” Jughead leaned in a little and looked into your eyes.

You felt tears welling up again, but they were different. Happy. Jughead didn’t know that though and started to look worried. You couldn’t help but start laughing. Jughead smiled and joined you in your nearly hysterical laughter. Tears filled up his eyes as well and you were both crying. He leaned in to hug you and you sobbed on each others shoulders for a moment.

“I love you.” You said, moving back slightly and wiping the tears from Jugheads face. He pressed his lips to yours for a second before returning the favor.

“I love you, too.” He said, cupping your face in his hands. Jughead rested his forehead against yours. “Don’t ever doubt that, (y/n).” He pressed another kiss to your lips before leaning back. He left on hand on your cheek and placed the other on his steering wheel. Things were finally still in a peaceful way as he smiled at you for a minute. “Let's get you home.”

[toosicktoocare]

had an anon request more sick Jughead (because we love to make him suffer) and @define-lying specified with a prompt. So here I am, back at it with the sick Jughead. 

“I’ll figure it out, Dad. I always do.”

  Jughead sighed, pulling his small blanket tighter around his body as the memories of the drive-in spun around his mind like a broken record. Figuring it out meant wandering the streets late at night—desperate for an answer, or a house for that matter, to manifest in front of him. The nights were growing longer and colder in Riverdale, and while searching for a new place to live, Jughead put all of his mental focus on plotting his novel in order to distract himself from the biting cold seeping into his bones.  

 He wound up standing in front of he and Archie’s childhood tree house when he was contemplating on whether or not to include the drama between Archie and Ms. Grundy. It was less than ideal, but it was better than nothing, so he braved the rickety ladder and made his way up. For a brief moment, he wasn’t sure that the tree house would hold after the whole thing shook when he dropped his massive backpack down onto the wooden floor, but he froze and held his breath, and after a few moments, the house stilled.

 After unpacking some of his belongings, Jughead tucked himself into a corner- knees drawn to his chest and beanie pulled down as far as it would go. The bitter wind sneaked in through the cracks, and it didn’t take long until Jughead was shivering. He already had quite a bit of layers on and didn’t want to risk getting the clothes he would need to wear to school dirty, so he tried to make do with what he had on combined with his small blanket.

However, a sudden drop of rain splashing against his exposed hand a few moments later had Jughead thinking otherwise. He hissed out a string of curses while shifting around until the small blanket was covering his head. ‘Go to Archie’s!’ his mind screamed, but how could he? With everything that Archie was going through right now, the last thing he would need was Jughead’s burdens.

 ‘Betty’s?’ No. Her family has enough on their plate with Polly. Plus, Betty would likely tell Archie right away.

 ‘Hell, Veronica’s even?’ And again, he talked himself out of it. Things seemed tense between Veronica and her mom at the moment, and again, he knew that Veronica would tell Betty who would tell Archie—everything always cycled back to Archie, and he just could not do that, not when he and Archie were doing so well mending their friendship.

 The rain outside picked up, and Jughead groaned. Even with the blanket over his head, it felt as if each cold drop leaking in was seeping into his bones. His shivering picked up in intensity, and his mind screamed ‘stay awake!’ right before he drifted off into a fitful sleep.

 *****

 “You seem tired, Juggie.”

 Jughead shut his locker. He moved sluggishly until he was facing Betty’s wide, concerned eyes. “I’m good,” he said, thankful that his voice was holding out despite his throat feeling as if he had spent the night gargling glass.

 “Is this about the drive-in?”  Betty pressed, tilting her head in question.

 Nodding seemed like his best source of reply for he didn’t trust whatever smartass comment was bound to come out of his mouth. He waved the sympathetic look Betty shot him away as the two started to walk towards their third class.

 “I can help you find a new job,” Betty suggested as the pair made their way to their seats.

 “I said I’m good, Bets.” Jughead didn’t intend for that to come out as harshly as it did, but he was just so damn tired. Sleep was just not on his side last night with the rain, and when he woke up, everything, including himself, was cold and damp. His sore throat accompanied with a pounding head was just the icing on the cake of his now significantly shittier life.

 “Okay. Well I’m here for you, Juggie.”

 The soft, reassurance in Betty’s voice had his lips pulling up into a small smile, which Betty returned before turning her attention towards the teacher. Jughead’s eyes briefly drifted towards Archie’s empty seat; he shouldn’t be surprised of Archie’s absence considering everything that had gone down with Grundy. Archie was probably suffering, but Jughead couldn’t help feeling slightly selfish in wishing that his friend at school. He found that he could forget his problems when Archie was there, but without that stupid red hair to distract him, his mind remained plagued by his severe situation.  

 *****

 “Archie said he will be back tomorrow,” Betty announced during lunch.

 “Is he still sulking?” Veronica asked, earning a light punch on the arm from Betty.

 “He’s upset!”

 Jughead tuned the two girls out as he forced down his lunch. He hadn’t had an appetite since last night, but he knew that this lunch would probably be the only food he would get all day. He was already feeling weak enough as it was, so he choked down his food despite his stomach’s protesting.

 “Earth to Jughead.”

 Jughead’s eyes shifted until they met Veronica’s. “What?” He asked, mouth full of food.

 “You keep zoning out,” Betty supplied, but Jughead waved away her slight concern.

“Sorry. I’ve got a lot on my mind.” He watched as the two frowned at him, and he mentally toned down the bitterness seeping out from getting endlessly fucked over by what felt like the entire town, with the exception of his friends and the managers at Pops—they were too kind to him.

 “I can introduce you to Netflix.”

 Play it cool, Jones, Jughead told himself. He breathed out a low laugh, ignoring the pain in his throat. “Is this our future?” He asked lightly, eyes zeroing in on Veronica. “Are we doomed to a future that is humanless and engulfed in technology?” This earned laughter from the two girls, and he leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. Crisis averted for now.

 *****

 Jughead’s second night in the tree house was significantly worse than the first. His breaths were coming out in pained, shaky gasps as strong shivers wracked his body. His head felt as if a marching band was parading around, and his nose was alternating from feeling like a waterfall to feeling as if it were stuffed with cotton. He checked his money to see if he had enough to stop for medicine before school tomorrow, breathing out a small praise when his fingers brushed against a twenty.

 He was about to attempt to sleep when his phone chimed off. He blindly patted around, not wanting to fully emerge from his blanket shield, until his hand hit the small device. He curled his trembling fingers around it, sliding his hand back under the blanket. He found himself surprised that he even got reception this far out when he stared at Archie’s name flashing across his screen.

 [11:04 pm] From Archie: u ok?

 Fuck. He thought he had done well enough to convince Betty that he was fine, but apparently his acting wasn’t enough.

 [11:06 pm] To Archie: Shouldn’t I be asking you that?

 [11:06 pm] From Archie: B said u seemed off 2day

 Sighing, Jughead contemplated not replying. He could blame it on having fallen asleep; he knew Archie would understand. But, he couldn’t just leave his friend hanging.

 [11:08 pm] To Archie: I’m fine. Just tired. How are you?

 He gnawed lightly at his lower lip as he stared hard at his phone, waiting anxiously for a reply. A few minutes passed, and his anxiety was starting to creep up his throat. But finally, after what felt like years, his phone chimed off again.

 [11:13 pm] From Archie: idk im upset but also kinda relieved? i miss her jug but i get that this had to happen i guess. sorry about the drive in btw. i know how much that place meant to u

 Jughead reread the words lit up on his phone. He brushed his free hand over his eyes, pegging the tears forming at the corners of his eyes on his throbbing head. He briefly glanced at his charge, noting he had a little over half percent left. He needed to wrap this up for now.

 [11:17 pm] To Archie: I’m sorry, Arch. I know you cared about her. I know it’s hard, but we are here for you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?

 [11:17 pm] From Archie: thanks jug. night

 Jughead pressed his phone close to his chest as he squeezed his eyes shut, praying for sleep to take over as soon as possible.

 *****

 Jughead decided to skip his first class in favor of showering in the men’s locker room showers. The medicine he had bought at the store that morning was working a little, but he still felt cold all over and decided that skipping a class for a hot shower was better than sitting and shivering in a class for an hour.

 The hot water felt like heaven against his chilled skin. It was the first time in two days where he felt warm, and he didn’t want to leave. He wondered if it would be socially acceptable to reside in a somewhat public shower for the rest of his miserable days, but his phone alarm going off a few moments later pulled him back into reality.

 The alarm was set to allow him time to change and dry his hair before sneaking out a few seconds before class would let out. He planned to use the ‘overslept’ excuse when questioned, and he was confident it would work considering all he told people yesterday was that he was tired. It wasn’t a lie—he was tired, which was to be expected when sleeping in a fucking tree house when the nights felt like they belonged in the middle of winter despite being early fall.

 Once changed and hair dried as much as he had time for, he cleaned up until there was no trace that he had showered in there then headed out towards his locker. As soon as he reached his locker, the school bell chimed, dismissing first class. It took only a matter of seconds until someone was leaning against the lockers beside his. He shut his locker and gave Archie a once over, noting how pale and exhausted the boy looked.

 “You look like shit,” Jughead exclaimed, unable to keep the concern bleeding through his voice.

 Archie dropped his gaze to the floor. “Haven’t been able to sleep well.”

 Yeah, Jughead thought to himself, you and me both. He dropped his hand on Archie’s shoulder, prompting the other to look up. “I told you, Arch. We are here for you.”

 “Thanks, Jug,” Archie replied softly. The two started towards their second class in a comfortable silence until Archie suddenly stopped walking. “Where were you first period?”

 “Overslept,” Jughead answered coolly. He kept walking, and sure enough, he heard Archie start after him again a few seconds later. The pair walked into their second class and were greeted by Veronica and Betty waving them towards the back of the room with big grins. This, Jughead thought to himself, this was what he needed to forget.

 *****

 “We should all get together this weekend,” Veronica suggested at lunch. “We sure as hell could use it.”

 “We should!” Betty agreed, and the two started plotting out the plans with Archie appearing only to be half-listening as he fiddled with his music on his laptop.

 Jughead watched the three, and for a brief moment, he was able to forget everything. For a small, sliver of time, he was able to fully immerse himself into this translucent concept that everything was perfectly fine. But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. A particularly cold breeze ripped Jughead away from the pretend, perfect world he had conjured up in his mind. He shivered, wrapping his arms around himself, and he found himself desperately yearning for the warmth from the shower he took only a couple of hours ago.

 “You okay, Jug?”

 Jughead shot Archie a half smile, one that quickly dropped down into a frown when Archie continued to stare at him with furrowed brows. “I’m fine, Arch. Just a little cold.”

 “You aren’t eating.”

 Jughead glanced down at his full plate of food. Well, fuck. He grabbed a fry, stuffing it into his mouth despite having literally no appetite whatsoever. The fries had gone cold, but Jughead stuffed a few more in his mouth for good measure. He could feel Archie’s gaze on him, but thankfully, Archie did not press further, seemingly satisfied now that Jughead was eating.

 “So, my place on Friday?” Veronica asked.

 It was only Tuesday, so Jughead agreed. He had time to come up with an excuse as to why he wouldn’t be able to make it to Veronica’s. It’s not that he didn’t want to go, but he didn’t want to risk anyone realizing that his clothes seemed dirty or accidentally revealing anything that could give off the fact that he’s been living in a tree house. He couldn’t avoid school, but he could avoid afterschool activities. Besides, he planned to spend the weekend trying to figure out a better living arrangement. He needed a better living arrangement; he wasn’t sure how long he could last in the tree house.

 *****

 Jughead wanted to die. It was his third night in the tree house, and he wanted to die. He’d been shivering for hours, but the heat rolling off his face told him that it was more than the cold wind that had him shaking like a leaf. On top of that, his chest hurt like hell. Each breath felt like his lungs were cracking, and he developed a cough that seemed to be getting worse with each passing minute. His body was wracked with coughing fits that had him gasping for breath and seeing black.  

 He knew that he should be concerned. His mind screamed ‘Pneumonia!’ But, he just felt so tired. He used up what little energy he had at school, doing his best to assure everyone who gave him skeptical looks that he was perfectly fine. He personally felt that he deserved a damn Oscar for the amount of work he put in today to make sure that how he actually felt did not surface.

 ‘Call Archie!’ And, he did toy with the idea, but Archie just seemed so tired today. It was blaringly obvious that Archie was struggling to deal with the whole Grundy debacle, and Jughead wanted Archie to have time to recuperate from that.

 Really, Jughead just wanted to sleep. He squeezed his eyes shut, mentally plotting out the next part of his novel while hoping that exhaustion would eventually win over his shivering and coughing. He was just in the middle of contemplating on whether or not it was important to include Veronica and Betty becoming cheerleaders when he drifted off to sleep.  

 He woke himself up coughing what felt like only minutes later, but the sunlight pouring into the tree house said otherwise. “Fuck,” he rasped out, voice barely audible. He fumbled around until he found his phone, and his eyes went wide when he saw that he had three missed calls from Archie, two missed calls from Betty, a missed call from Veronica, seven new texts from Archie, four new texts from Betty, and a surprising twelve new texts from Veronica. What was worse, though, was the fact that it was fifteen minutes until lunch hour.

 He hopped up, regretting it instantly as the room began to tilt. He leaned hard against the wall, coughing harshly into his fist as he waited for the dizziness to subside. He did not have time for this; he needed to get to school as soon as humanly possible. Once he was sure he could make it without toppling over, he quickly changed into a pair of jeans and tossed a hoodie over the shirt he had slept in. He adjusted his beanie, grabbed his bag, and started down the ladder, having to stop every other step to cough.

 The bright, shining sun accompanied with relatively warm temperatures should have been a plus, but Jughead took it as the world plotting against him. Why should the day be so nice when he felt so miserable? He hasn’t stopped shivering despite the sun beating against his back, and the coughing accompanied with him running to school was all but killing his lungs. But, he had to make it at least to lunch—it would look incredibly suspicious if he missed lunch.

 When the school finally came into view, he felt that he could almost cry of relief. He skipped going in through the front entrance, opting, instead, to go around back to the court yard where everyone was having lunch. His eyes fell onto the table where Archie, Betty, and Veronica were seated, and he took a second to catch his breath and straighten out his clothes some before he started towards his friends.

“Juggie!” Betty shouted as he approached the table, and soon enough, all eyes were on him. He turned to cough into the crook of his arm before he walked up to the table.

 He cleared his throat and shot what he hoped was a decent smile. “Sorry, guys, my alarm didn’t—”

 “We’ve been so worried!” Betty exclaimed, cutting Jughead off. He wanted to reply; he wanted to reassure everyone that there was nothing to worry about, but he suddenly found it incredibly hard to form words. Luckily, Veronica took charge.  

 “Apparently you are never late for school, so these two thought you died in a ditch or something,” Veronica said, rolling her eyes.

 Words, dammit. Why couldn’t he get his mouth to form words? And why was it so hot suddenly? He felt as if his hoodie was suffocating him, like it was snake wrapped around his body, squeezing the breath right out of his lungs. Breathing—he couldn’t breathe. His lungs were on fire. His face was on fire. He was on fire. But, when he looked down at his hands to avoid the worried stares coming from his friends, he saw that they were shaking.

 “Jug?”

 No. No, he couldn’t burden them. He would just leave. He took a step back just as Archie stood, and what a mistake that proved to be. Everything started to tilt backwards, and Jughead felt himself moving with it just as his vision started to blur. He faintly heard someone shout his name, then everything went black.

 *****

 Repeated sounds should be illegal. At least, that’s what Jughead thought when he was pulled from his blissful sleep by a persistent beeping sound. He blinked his eyes open, and mentally cursed. Bright lights should also be illegal. Why did he have to wake up? Things were much nicer when he was asleep.

 He continued blinking until he was able to hold his eyes open against the light. It didn’t take long to come to the conclusion that he was in a hospital—it was the events leading up to this that were but a jumbled blur within his poorly functioning mind. He glanced to the left to see Archie sitting on a chair beside his bed and fiddling with his phone.

 “A-Arch?” Wow, okay, talking hurt more than he expected. Luckily, Archie heard him despite his weak voice and the oxygen mask covering his mouth.

 “Jug!” Archie shoved his phone into his pocket and leaned forward. “Hey, you’re in the hospital, but you’re going to be okay.”

 Jughead nodded, suddenly feeling very tired once more. Archie seemed to catch on because he whispered “rest,” and that was all Jughead needed, drifting off once more.

 *****

 Waking up the second time was significantly easier than the first, but Jughead still felt like the actual definition of shit. At least, he found he was able to focus more when he pried his eyes open. He wasn’t sure what time it was or how long he’s been sleeping, but Archie was still there, seemingly asleep in the chair to his left.

 Now that his mind was clear, he had time to panic. He didn’t have insurance to cover this hospital bill, he was still homeless, and now everyone was going to know. He wasn’t sure how things escalated so quickly, but he faintly thought that death seemed to be a better option than this.

 “Son?”

 Jughead furrowed his brows, and his eyes darted to the right, zeroing in on Fred Andrews sitting in a chair. “H-hey,” he whispered, noting that at least talking hurt slightly less and that he no longer had an oxygen mask covering his mouth.

 “We should talk.”

 Jughead heard rustling coming from the left, and he knew that Archie was waking up. Soon, he would be cornered by the Andrews duo with nowhere to run, but maybe this was for the best. Maybe, he could just tell them what was going on and hope for the best.

 He nodded towards the glass of water on his bedside table, and with Fred’s help, he was able to get enough water to soothe his wrecked throat. At his other side, Archie helped him shift into a comfortable sitting position.

 “Where’s your father, son?”

 Jughead looked down at his hands. “He’s not,” he paused, coughing harshly into his shoulder, “he’s not in a great place right now.”

 “What does that mean, Jug?”

 Archie sounded almost frantic, and Jughead mentally cursed. This was the last thing he wanted. “It just means—” His words cut off as a coughing fit wracked his small frame. He felt two pairs of hands on him, comforting him, but he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t breathe. Darkness started to creep at the edges of his vision, and he heard someone yell for a nurse before he fell limp.

 *****

 Jughead’s first thought when he opened his eyes for the third time was that this was getting old. He wanted out.

 “Jug?”

 Archie sounded so tired and so worried, and it hurt Jughead more than he cared to admit. He shifted his eyes around, but Archie’s dad was nowhere in sight.

 “Your dad’s a Southside Serpent?”

 Well, it didn’t take them long to figure that out. Honestly, he wasn’t sure how they didn’t find out sooner. His dad wasn’t in hiding, and Jughead wasn’t necessarily secretive about his dad. He just never talked about him, or his whole family for that matter, because no one asked. Everyone was facing their own demons in Riverdale, and with Jason’s murder, the town’s been pretty preoccupied.

 Not trusting his voice, Jughead nodded in response.

 “He stopped by while you were sleeping. He and my dad talked for a while. He told my dad that he didn’t know where you are living now that the drive-in is gone?”

 Sighing, Jughead struggled into a sitting position, and Archie quickly propped pillows up behind his back. He wasn’t sure where this conversation was going to go, but he needed to try to stay awake.

 “Where are you living, Jughead?”

 “Tree house,” Jughead whispered in response. No point in lying now—Archie was already upset as it was.

 “Shit, Jughead! Why didn’t you say anything? No wonder you’re sick! You should have told me the second you started living at the drive-in!”

 And, Jughead thought to himself, why didn’t he? He had started living in the drive-in right before summer. He had almost two months before his falling out with Archie to say something, so why didn’t he?

 “It’s not your problem,” he finally replied, voice weak.

 Archie stared at Jughead hard with furrowed brows for a long time. Jughead briefly thought that he broke his best friend, but finally, Archie sighed.

 “You’re my best friend, Jug. I know we hit a rough patch, but I never stopped seeing you as my best friend. Your problems are mine—that’s just how things are.”

 Do not fucking cry, Jughead told himself as he felt his eyes welling with tears. You will not, he mentally continued, shed a single tear. It’s not your fucking style. He brushed the back of his hand against his eyes and sniffed lightly. “Everyone,” he started, pausing to cough into his fist. “Everyone’s been so upset with Jason, and then the Grundy stuff—”

 “Grundy doesn’t matter!”

 Jughead raised his brows and titled his head slightly.

 “Okay, she did—she does. But you matter more, Jug!”

 There was so much sincerity dripping from Archie’s flustered tone that Jughead couldn’t help but breathe out a small laugh. This was not how he expected this conversation to go at all, but he found that he couldn’t complain. Now, all he wanted was to do was removed that worried expression from Archie’s face, preferably forever.

 “You’ve got pneumonia,” Archie started again after a few minutes, pulling Jughead from his thoughts. “But, you’re getting discharged tomorrow now that they’ve got your fever down. You are going to stay with us.”

 “Archie—”

 “Don’t,” Archie snapped, cutting Jughead off. Jughead’s eyes went wide, and Archie’s expression softened. “My dad and I talked about it. You are going to live with us from now on, and that’s that, so don’t try to talk your way out of this, Jughead.”

 Speechless, Jughead could do nothing but nod dumbly. He allowed Archie to shift him around until he was reclined comfortably.

 “Just rest for right now, Jug.”

 And rest he did.

 *****

 “I’m starting to think they discharged him too soon,” Fred said as he and Archie helped Jughead up the stairs of their house.

 Jughead was wheezing, unable to get a solid breath in. Stairs, he thought with his oxygen-deprived mind, are the devil. He just wanted to be able to breathe—that’s it. He felt that he wasn’t asking for too much.

 “He’ll be fine once we get him to bed,” Archie answered with a grunt as they reached the top of the stairs.

 The three made their way into Archie’s bedroom, and Jughead stopped. The house was big enough; he knew that they had guest bedrooms, so why the hell were they going into Archie’s room.

 “For right now,” Archie said as if he read Jughead’s thoughts. “I know you will be more comfortable in here.”

 Jughead wanted to protest. These two were already doing too much for him. Everyone, for that matter, was already doing too much for him. Betty and Veronica convinced their moms to help front the hospital bill while he was too doped up on medicine to fight it. Archie had gone to the tree house to retrieve his stuff, and Fred had paid for his medicine. The least he could do was not take Archie’s bed for the next week, so he fought against Archie and Fred tugging at his arms.

 “Jug, please. It’s fine.”

 Damn Archie and his damn puppy-dog expression. Jughead finally caved and allowed the two to lead him to Archie’s bed.

 “I’m going to go get his medicine,” Fred announced while Archie was helping Jughead into bed.

 Archie nodded before turning his attention to fluffing up his pillows for Jughead.

 “Archie,” Jughead breathed out in between coughs. “It’s fine—they’re fine. I just want to sleep.”

 “I just want to make sure,” Archie said, patting his pillows until he was satisfied. “Besides, you can’t sleep until you take your medicine.”

 Jughead groaned, draping one arm over his eyes. Now that he didn’t have an IV constantly pumping his body with drugs, he felt like the actual definition of death. Despite that, he still felt better lying in Archie’s bed then he’s felt for a long time. The softness and familiarity was enough to lull him to sleep, and he found himself struggling to keep his eyes open.

 Fred walked in moments later and handed Archie the medicine and a bottle of water, and Jughead managed to rasp out a weak “thank you” before Fred left the two alone once more.

 Archie handed Jughead a pill then held the bottle to Jughead’s lips, claiming that Jughead’s hands were shaking too hard.

 Once Jughead was blissfully drugged up, he fell back against the pillows as sleep threatened to take over. “Arch,” he whispered just as Archie walked out of the room.

 “One sec!”

 Jughead’s eyes slipped closed, but he pried them open moments later when he felt something cool and damp being draped across his forehead. He smiled tiredly at Archie while patting the empty side of the bed. “Stay, please?”

 Archie climbed onto his bed, lying on his side and propping himself up on one elbow to face Jughead. “I’m not going anywhere, Jug.”

 Jughead’s smile grew, and before he knew it, he drifted off to sleep.