#(Ah how much happier history might have been if Henry VIII and Thomas Culpepper had ended up together)

[scandalousladysuggestion]

Your Esteemed Ladyship, My name is Thomas Culpepper, former courtier to the Viscount Lisle. His Royal Highness Henry has begun sending me letters by hawk, calling me his “beautiful youth”, which I though was frivolous and fun, until he appointed me keeper of Penhurst Palace. It’s been months, and his wife is to give birth soon, and in his last letter he said he means to visit before appointing me as a Gentleman of his Privy Chamber. I am unsure what to do since his letters have become…salacious.

Dear Thomas, 

His Majesty has had no deal of luck with his wives. Perhaps a husband should suit him better? Take heed of the prudent example of the esteemed Lady Anne Boleyn and let his desires remain bound to ink and parchment alone until he has offered you something substantial in return.  

Nonsensical, you say? Hardly. If His Majesty has proven anything in his tiresomely long and turbulent reign, it is that he has put himself quite above all precedent and protocol. 

And I daresay such would be a wiser course to pursue than, say... any unwise pursuit of a queen consort. Let’s say I have an inkling regarding the outcome of such a path. 

Yours sincerely, 

Her Ladyship.